How to Handle a Narcissistic Mother - Julie Hanks, LCSW on KSL TV's Studio 5

[serumclx]

holy shit that my mom

[Shadoessa]

This is my life exactly. Thanks for sharing.

[boogiecat55]

shes just described my mother to a tee.

there is no way im telling her shes a narcissist though, lol.

[TheMinnie419]

The damage done to little girls is devastating to say the least. It's easy to say "...start speaking up", but these children (or adult children) are not able to if the narcissistic mother is very strong or threatening. Narcissistic people don't want help because they don't see where anything is their fault and they believe that their personality is not faulty but yours is.

[Windo64]

My mom won't let me go visit her. Every time I want to go see her she give me an excuse why I can't go. So I do not even ask anymore. For christmas the only time I've seen her in a year she says I'm a bad kid because I haven't gone to see her. Of course the only reason she wanted me there was because she was getting presents. She has called me stupid, dumb a slut etc. I have a really bad self esteem problem and get depressed a lot. Now I want to go back to school but I am afraid to fail!

[TheWahnow]

@Windo64 I am dealing with this EXACT situation right now! It is so hard! I think I'm going to make a facebook group for this... support for children of Narcissists

[Windo64]

@TheWahnow Let me know when you do....I would like to see it done!!!

[TheWahnow]

@Windo64 I found on that already existed! if you want send me a private message and I'll send you the link!

[VenusAdept]

I knew this about my sister for years.. my sister is this way. My mom just figured it out this morning.. and now my niece (my sister's daughter), whom is 7, is getting most of the damage from my sister instead of me anymore. I feel really bad for my niece.. I'm gonna continue to do some research about this and hopefully come up with methods to help comfort my niece without pissing my sister off at the same time. =/

[TheSuzane27]

i dont know anymore i just know my strenght have been sucked up

[5starrater1]

wish it were more than 2.5 mins on this subject that has taken me 38 years to work out so far! Maybe a whole channel or something might be better?

[Hlvillaire]

oh my god this is my mother.. im 22 years old, and she STILL tries to control all facets of my life.

[ACIMpsychology]

@Hlvillaire so the spiritual practice is to stop trying to control your mom. This is called the "turnaround" and will give you much clarity. Check out the Work of Byron Katie!

[Hlvillaire]

@ACIMpsychology this sounds interesting, I'd like to hear some expansion on this notion... got any specific links or web sites? I'll check her out, thanks :)

[ACIMpsychology]

@Hlvillaire you bet: Youtube--"Byron Katie- my mother is selfish and controlling 1/2"

[YouKidsNever]

It's not an "illness" - it's sin.

[DCFunBud]

My mother is a narcissist, but my sister did not become an introvert. She became an animal an uncontrollable rageaholic. Now that my aging mother needs home care my sister is there to torment her with criticism and mockery, just what she got as a child. It's just a Greek tragedy.

[lesterclaypool1]

@DCFunBud

Aw, how horrible for your family, and your sister as she's carrying this anger and hurt. My mom-in-law's a bit different but my wife was able to reconcile to herself at an early age that she would no longer exist solely to please...well...anyone. This helped my wife, and her brothers, to let it rest with the idea that their parents did the best job that they could with the tools that they had and this has allowed them to have some sort of relationship.

[xxdufffxx]

Fml

[will34uk]

I think my mums a mild narcissistic; a common disagreement goes like "don't be stupid" if she still believes she's right which often I know she's wrong and "oh for goodness sake, it doesn't even matter!!!" what she knows she's wrong because she can't be wrong. There's no reasoning, she's so condescending!!

[ffemt66]

My Mother in law does not know my children. I have a son who turns 3 Oct 28, and a daughter who turned 1 on Oct 19. They are the most beautiful thing in the World. I wish they had all 4 Grandparents, that's how I landed on this clip. I just can't imagine why she won't stop by, we have a brand new house and we are two people (my wife and I) who will accept you no questions asked. Her home is a disaster area so I can't have a 1 y.o. crawling around in filth. I wish she would stop by and say hi

[veniyanwarrior]

...and then they blame the father.

worst part is when the daughter herself is narcissistic, then she will not be able to recognize that her mother (her role model) is capable of such treatment. Or should I say, incapable of love.

[kellytv777]

she will not even talk to me....but i was good enough to shine her shoes , clean her nursing caps for work , do her laundry , do her hair......and all she did was shop shop shop ....and buy buy buy ...u cant buy me love..mom....wake up...i do love mother but shes very mean to me n loves herself wayyyyyyyyyy more than me or my kids...she said dont call me grandma.

[RioLuna829]

@kellytv777 From the time i could walk, mom taught me to clean. Before I was in first grade, I was carrying her babies around, changing their diapers, fixing their bottles. I soothed my mother when she was upset. Before I got out of high school, I'd been a mom for eleven years. When I grew up, and didn't want to be manipulated and controlled, she didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. I know what narcissistic rage looks like.

[Hawaiiansky11]

Excellent clip!! This lady knows what she's talking about! Thank you :)

[lilprima1]

okay

[SumMer70401]

this is so right! hits the nail on the head. I wish some one had explained to me earlier the nature of some people before I had taken on the responsibility of other peoples self esteem.

[aboy1983]

I can't imagine a worse forum for discussing this type of issue. But i appreciate the try!

[dierjran]

She is 100% right on the money.

[joeblowthehot]

well ..OK

[Leohasdoneitagain]

Great coverage of the subject. The internet has excellent resources, too, if you Google daughters of narcissistic mothers, and there's a lot of good stuff.