100 Chuck Norris Jokes

[Studner10]

Chuck Norris is the only person who can read this without pausing

[Sonicfan9977]

Chuck Norris once shook hands with an unknown blue hedgehog. That hedgehog is now known as Sonic!

[Sulode]

To Chuck Norris gravity isn't a law, it's an option!

[Loopedchip]

Chuck Norris won the world series of poker using Pokemon cards.....

[Pyrobotechnitians]

Chuck Norris has no soul.......because he's a ginger.

[ImYinSoo]

Every July, sharks watch Chuck Norris week.

[SuperMetalhead1997]

Drowining Poooooooll

[mymicks21]

chuck norris once pissed in the tank of a semi-truck as a joke, now that semi-truck is known as optimus prime.

[yasinyildirim13]

itshardtoreadifyoudonthaveused­aspacebarright????

[elitekillaA239]

go to google type in "no chuck norris" and go to "im feeling lucky" and then, RUN!

[ladylove2010bvm]

If there was a race between Superman and The Flash who would win?

Chuck Norris.

[19Evilgenezide68]

God said "Let there be light" and Chuck Norris said "Say 'Please' first".

[KiLLz0rz83]

@fusionsamurai Yeah i know but it just gets really annoying.

[KiLLz0rz83]

Chuck norris dumb! If he is so good he would smash my face on a keyboard! Look he didn't!

[fusionsamurai]

@KiLLz0rz83 their just jokes

[Animeboy43210]

If chuck Norris is so tough he would com in my house and slam my head into my keyboexfdcgffg hfjfjrjsjd46!&4%?"!:!&%&&$,bxb­chfbdbsbdbfjgjtfhdhcggcfvfvcuf­hfhdhxhzbxbxxhcgfgfhhdbbdbfhhf­hxbbsbwbhqhqqbcnb@72*'@&&@**@&­#%ו÷•©°£££°€•€••¢

[JUICES74]

chuck norris showed jackson hewitt how to do it

[MrPotatoeNinjaMan]

I made this joke up: Chuck norris isnt afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of chuck norris.

[dherrera110]

Hey actually the joke is Lysol kills 99.9% of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever he wants.

[DPDShapeshifterDPD]

Chuck Norris is the only male porn star in the world

[NIKOLINOS23]

pff i don't believe Chuck Norris is so badass... If he was so good he could make this comment have 50 likes...

[WhyHelloYoungMan]

Thumbs up if you dont know how to Thumbs up

[CelticaRose1]

Chuck Norris is fake AND he can't slam my face into my keyboard b/c it's an iPod eaoxxhlxyo ch. G gmzsudgchb. Hzd x('x vr. Fm (He just did...)

[johnathan8215]

yes i did

[ChannelLyrics093]

Thumbs up if you paused every joke.

[anythingbutsane11]

If chuck norris was THAT awesome he would come to my house and bang my face on my keyboardhdifodkdjdididhiehegfw­fwywyehehehgehddjdjdgdhduwopwq­pqlqoworiuyttfsadhklnmnvxzz

[solidsnake9812]

chuck norris is ALWAYS the first AND last comment of EVERY video on youtube

[solidsnake9812]

@solidsnake9812 LAST (roundhouse kick) this comment is brought to you and approved by chuck norris.

[WhyHelloYoungMan]

too fast

[dlonewolf69]

@dlonewolf69 Wih a shide fo jdgstgdb

[dlonewolf69]

Tooties pop commercial

[bugalugs222]

you got 1 wrong he tapped the tower of piza not pushed

[MultiAnimate]

(was just watching a really quiet video, Headset sound on max)

*Clicks video*

''FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU­UUUUUUUUU''

[westboundaunt]

Yo mamas just like a mallet always pounding wood and yo mamas like lady gaga she always has meat on her

[PRBDennis]

Chuck Norris once farted in Hyroshima

[MrBeach360]

(enter terrible keyboard joke Here)

[OrangeTigersrule704]

too fasst



[MrStraight2hell]

iv never laughed at any chuck norris joke, it must be an american thing or maybe i hate gingers

[dervertica]

Listen up!!! Chuck Norris is just a stupid actor!!! If he's so good, he would come to my house and bang my head to the keyboard... hm i see no sign of him, thats odd...

[EncryptedApple]

Are you fucking jokin!?! These are the truth, not just muthafukin jokes!

[hotyu3456]

Chuck Norris haunts Freddy Krueger's dreams.

[jmannion171]

chuck norris once throw a grenade and killed 7 people then it blow up

[MisterNinjaAssassin]

Kids check under their beds for the Boogeyman, the Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

[Superdeath25]

Chuck norris can kill all the birds on the planet with one stone

[Superdeath25]

I did the second one. It did not say run for some reason

[ultimatechucknorris]

chuck norris once roundhouse kicked the Earth.....it hasn't stopped spinning since.

[faat1ydut]

yeah but bruce lee's film footage had to be slowed down so we can see his moves, I call that win.

[tommymacuk]

chuck norris bit mike tysons ear off

[BesnoPile013]

You forgot the time he first got drunk-his fathers birth... :D

[xmagicxx01]

These aren't funny, there true!

[dragonataks3]

CHUCK NORRIS IS FAKE!!!!

[HyperBowser2]

@dragonataks3 I wonder how long you have to live... I say R.I.P to you

[dragonataks3]

@HyperBowser2 haha very funny, but all them chuck norris videos.... FAKE!!!!!!!!!!

[XxPeeWeeGamer]

there is 99 you said one TWICE!!!

[dragonataks3]

@XxPeeWeeGamer he said two twice

[sjames551]

Chuck Norris is Jesus' second cousin once removed

[RaduTomy]

Music by ?

[mickeyvorster1]

"lool these r funny!" ? -_- the correct way of saying that is: "lool these r NOT funny!"

[SuperSizedMcChicken]

Chuck Norris plays Search and Destroy on MW3 and BO but when he plays, its only destory

[ladielover718]

chuck norris can shoot all the arrows he wants into my knee because i am better then him in every way

[LucyLovesNarwhals]

@ladielover718 BITCH STFU!!!!!!

[LucyLovesNarwhals]

Oh come on!!!! Chuck Norris is just a stupid actor!!!! If he's so good, he would come to my house and slap my head to the keyboa8hjnvdbhjasfji0grsd zbdvsrguio4tw903q mlej0p9wq3 hsnkl/fdhijophrejiphrd'

[manguy671]

@LucyLovesNarwhals chuck norris doesn't have time to deal with you right now he's fight godzilla and other monsters you'd be scared to death of

[99dnx]

@LucyLovesNarwhals run run run RUN RUN RUN RUN! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN

[WhiteVersionMusic]

actually the correct terms for this video is "Chuck Norris Facts" Because there is no joking around in Chucks book

[AndrewCastro777]

@TheMinecraftGamer247 Grow up

[45zingo]

when kids go to sleep they ware superman p.js when superman goes to sleeep he weares chuck norris pjamas

[MrKdho]

these are hilarious!!



[7776344]

Chuck Norris doesnt breathe in oxygen he breathes it out making it possible for everybody else to breathe

[Bradford536]

Princess Ashley you are a dumbass

[llxTaylorGangOrDie]

When chuck Norris punches into water, it breaks

[PrincessAshley121]

chuck norris made ellen degeneres straight.....

[Dollyfaceangel]

Chuck Norris doesn't kick down doors. They open at his approach.

[TheMinecraftGamer247]

Wow I fucking HATE CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS YOU KNOW WHAT IF CHUCK NORRIS IS AL-MIGHTY WHY DOESN'T HE SMACK MY FACE OB THE KEYBOFFIVSYGS3$.4txs(Af fx;,z5(

[PrincessAshley121]

@TheMinecraftGamer247 you hate chuck norris.....umm your point of watching a video called 100 chuck norris jokes was?

[TheMinecraftGamer247]

@PrincessAshley121 i watched this so i could say a joke like that plus these jokes are very very funny but either way i still think chuck norris is gay. uh oh fuchjdfealwu9q9fhhfgr5huyugyju­yugfgfyuegffgjxnjtcyghyvsvytrs (if u still didnt get the last part it wuz chuck norris smashing my face to the keyboard :3)

[TheMinecraftGamer247]

Chuck Norris has more hair on his balls than he does on his beard

[langstonwt]

What the fuck is "Subscibe?"

[8121sam]

1:53 Chuck Norris is never sick.

[Bananaise]

The poem he sent to Obama is his best joke.

[yugiohdeloestepr]

was telling my host brother about a being so powerful. A being that can do it all without troubles. He asked me: is it better than Superman/Santa Claus/Mewtwo/Darth Vader/you/Goku/Homer Simpson/Michae Jackson/etc.? I told him that his is infinitely better thanall of them. I told him he can breathe in water longer than any fish. He is CHUCK NORRIS

[TheSacredForger]

Chuck Norris was an adventurer. Then he took an arrow to the knee. 1 mile-second later the arrow died in pain and Chuck Norris is still an adventurer.

[xiaogunman]

Chuck Norris was only killed by Bruce Lee because every dream Chuck has turns real.

[xiaogunman]

Chuck Norris was VAC banned for completing a 32 player CSS game in four seconds. An hour later, Gabe exploded suddenly, solving world hunger. Then Episode 3 got delayed for that joke.

[Firestar430]

Chuck norris can win chess with 1 king only

[8121sam]

@Firestar430 Same

[TheIncrediblSuperSam]

chuck norris can win a game of chess without a king

[havoks486]

Was that music necessary? 

[melcon1324]

a policemen sttopped chuck norris, the policeman was lucky to leave with a warning

[elitesniperz365]

chuck norris dosent have hair on his nuts cause hair dosnt grow on steel

[ImHeadshotSniper]

what the hell does chuck norris being born on the 31st of february have to with chuck norris

[acakajv]

@ImHeadshotSniper February can have 29 days at the max

[dakingbarren]

I have been posting a lot of comments about chuck norris, I wonder why, hmmm....

[merc741]

@1:37 any one can do that if thay exsisted

[acakajv]

@merc741 No they can't, cyclopes only have one eye. You can't punch something that only has one eye in between the eyes

[merc741]

@acakajv read it again smartass it's not a plural it says EYE not eyeS this is why i put this comment on here

[acakajv]

@merc741 I believe it is a typo. And you can't punch something with one eye in between it anyways

[merc741]

@acakajv i know its a typo i was pointing it out and i also know u carnt punch a cyclopes between the eye. case closed.

[awesomefrank1]

@acakajv Chuck Norris will find you, Roundkick one of your eyes out, and the poke you in between the one eye you have left

[acakajv]

@awesomefrank1 well he hasn't yet, so i guess im good

[Skamm4]

@acakajv Chuck Norris can!

[acakajv]

@Skamm4 true

[kickassberrow]

god you steal tons of fucking jokes

[kickassberrow]

oh yeah at 1:00 you stole that joke

[kickassberrow]

i got one for ya, the girraffe was invented when he uppercutted a horse

[theballshanglow1]

2:52 i dont get this one

[Codcraft187]

@theballshanglow1 I thinks it means that because there is no FEB. 31st

[theballshanglow1]

To 0:22, seriously? Chuck Norrises shoes are purple?

[shevlovely]

only chuck norris can read every jokes in this fast video

[EpicPankake]

When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool of water, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised

[bmx1234567891011]

chuck norris can buy a big mac in KFC

[LadyFaith143]

Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass, he dares it to grow <3



[RobotFlyingGreenCow]

I don't get it. If Chuck Norris was anywhere near as tough as people say he is than he would have come to my house and smashed my head into the keyboarddkhfiuoagfvhuishiulry7­t78w4yfuhw8748ty8w74tyo784ygty­syfhv8hwghg

[MobyMr]

Title is wrong Jokes -> Facts

[dryyoshi7]

chuck norris forced 1+1 to equal 10

[MrACEOFACES23]

chuck norris doesnt teabag he potatoe sacks lolololololololol

[TheMomoxmox]

The second(the one about google) is true. My brother tested it. I am now an unique child.

[BloodWolf752]

the dinosaurs went extinct not because of a large rock from space, that crater is when chuck norris landed and disallowed them to live

[0bbymaul3ng]

chuck norris sucks.hes not a god or anything or else he would have came ito my house already and smashed my into my keybo-wmefjkhgkuyaefdhsuhjfhjd­vdios23

+`k,o

[Survivor13100]

What's the song name?



[lewisdude24]

when chuck norris looked into medusas eyes medusa turned to stone

[wtfwhasthat]

CHUCK NORRIS IS THE ONE SHOOTING ARROWS TO PEOPLES KNEES!!

[wav003]

Once Chuck Norris decided to see what it was like when you die so he killed himself. He appeared in hell but walked directly out because the devil died when he saw Chuck Norris.

[Omardtown1]

chuck norris threw a grenade and killed a hundred men then the grenade exploded

[mindlessb1380108]

HES JUST A STUPID ACTOR AND A BIG FAT LOSER! whats with all this glory being givin to this idiot...hey someone just knocked down my door! and hes coming close to me wait hold upKSAHDVBGK>EHGSDfhJDvhsJKLgHE­gjuHEggf vttttghjsgtrvvvghhhhhhkHNDldfn­sl dejagkerkhrje;aeroj;hr;j;akhj;­rjbhklrjip

[WolfHideProductions]

I know Victoria`s secret. The owner is a guy named victor!

[MzzRockelleBelle]

wow. too funny

[TheZombiekiller93]

42 people need to be killed by chuck norris

[gurikasemit]

Chuck Norris made a ''SUCCESSFUL'' exorcism to Satan... after that Satan understood he wasn't such a bad guy ...

[mesner5]

Chucks norris likes trains, then he liked them again, and again, and again

[oceanside1322]

even though these are straight out of the book this is the best video of chuck facts on youtube

[stampedebeast]

if chuck norris is so cool then y doesn't he com out of hiding and hit my face on the key board fdzjkhglbuisdfgiesrhgsfui ow my face......sorry chuck.....

[the2assasins1]

if chuck norris is so tough then why dosent he come to me and slam my face against the keyboard hmm theres no sign of him. THINK OF YOUR OWN DAM COMMENTS PEOPLE!!!

[nyanfan777]

@the2assasins1 yeah why doesnt hvcvchb,ol;eawrnedrtstipuonik'­p79yhy6rAQEWARuhi;'

hkjfgf

[pre76dator]

Chuck Norris once choke slammed a lizard to the ground to what we know today as the Grand Canyon

[Danielcao0511]

i dont think that Chuck Norris was that cool. If he is awesome, he would come to my room I AND SLAM MY FACE DOWN ON MY KEYBOARMKAFNAFSASFASFGASG;FASQ­­P24152FASFAGVSA GA.

[Trekkieish]

Chuck Norris can split an atom with his Roundhouse Kick.

[JaketurWoWcraft101]

when chuck norris took an arrow to the knee,the archer took a knee to the arrow. XD

[Random0832]

Chuck Norris Killed 23 terrorists when 2 bullets

The first was a warning shot.

[alacci19]

these chuck norris jokes are getting really old. he's just an actor, not some super human god. if he was he'd probably come and slam my face into my keyborhdjjdvsnbdvjbdnhjvdhjfsd­74365438jfnjjfjvjnfgjyhurfthy5­44233243unjvnvnfnj437843t7huf4

[Gghosty96]

if chuck norris was so tough he would come over my house and smash my face into my keyfeiahce;ibinvkwn;wb;JWV;Bj;­abc;bbA SCnd w

[thetetrisgod5]

Only one known person has survived Chuck Norris's Roundhouse Kick

He is now called close call, has both of his legs torn of, and half of his left arm chopped off

He has burns over 110% of his body, he has only 1/4 of his left eye and one cheek. He claimed that he saw the future and the past.

[bingollu1000]

chuck norris got a big mac from burger king

[KevinRedBig]

Chuck Norris is so bad ass he can start a fire with 2 icicles

[Pwnage195]

If Chuck Norris was so awesome he would come over to my house and pound my face into the keyboalklkadjlkalkdjgladnkjjds­lkvnm ,JLKj LJ LKjoua

IJ LKLKAJDLKJAL

[TheMintyClan]

chuck norris can tell a whole story with 3 words.. "ROUND HOUSE KICK ' THE END.. THE END OF YOUR LIFE

[jeffafa1020]

Chuck Norris isnt that special if he was he could come to my house and find me and smash my head to the keyboar jklhgffd789328"l';gl;'gl;lfjfd­klaswjfklawerhfknvdjkhioeadurd­oawjkahgfaf

[llllllslerglllllllll]

The day after Chuck Norris was born, the nazis surrendered

[brobet21123]

If Chuck Norris was so cool he would come to my house and slam my face into the keyboacvdcnbsjvjhbagvhsdhgvhgs­hjmgasvhjgjhkghgj

[OnlyRawAudio]

Chuck Norris Facts

[MistaMelvin0]

This video didn't feel like 3:51 seconds.....

[stopmotionfilmer]

chuck Norris watched this in TWO minutes fifty two seconds...

[stopmotionfilmer]

jk I I \/

[stopmotionfilmer]

chuck Norris can pop a wheelie on a unicycle i made that up!!!!!!!

[mjrogers2]

sıɹɹou ʞɔnɥɔ ʎq pǝʞɔıʞ ǝsnoɥ punoɹ sɐʍ ʇuǝɯɯoɔ sıɥʇ

[Spike1885]

@mjrogers2  and how do you get to have your text written upside down?

[mjrogers2]

@Spike1885 uhm theres a website search it on google

[TheMomoxmox]

@mjrogers2 HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!?! I'm amazed!!!

[mjrogers2]

@TheMomoxmox theres a website

[infernape667]

@mjrogers2 How Do U Wright Upsidedown!?

[mjrogers2]

@infernape667 chuck norris round house kicked it

[MrToRo3252]

@mjrogers2 just asking. how'd you do that?

[acakajv]

@mjrogers2 False. if it was roundhouse kicked by Chuck, it wouldn't exist