Heffer Milk

[PurplePandaPoster]

Huh. I can't really remember this too well, but it answers the fact as to why my mom was laughing so hard at things I didn't quite get at the time.

[jmie5]

How the hell can this ruin anyone's childhood? I remembered watching this as a very young kid, then as a slightly older kid, when I went to re-watch, Nick had already censored it. ;) I think it's exactly moments like this htat made Rocko so awesome. If this offends you, we obviously weren't watching the same show.

[DaveDutra]

I remember seeing this as a kid but I never understood it's true meaning. I just thought, "oh he like's being milked" not really correlating the fact that's he's male. I don't really think any kid would understand this joke anyway and no one should be making a big stink about it.

[xXcrazychick1]

so thats why they took it off on netflix i didnt get it wen i watched this at 11 years old but now i do lmao xD

[TheWolfieRankin]

Holy shit, so many tossers complaining about this video of Heffer

As though they were chained to a chair and fed the most pornorific thing in the hiistory of porn.

Haven't you fuckers played with your dick before?

[OscarGeronimo]

(cont.) Is like been trapped in a trashy/lousy party you'll have to accept but that, actually, you discover later you didn't have to. You can go to some of those and might be even fun as a passing throught; but been forced to stay (just like rape) take most of the fun of the sit and part the living soul out of you.

Go to "TV Tropes" and check out the page about the series and the "Getting Crap Past the Radar" one (Rocko is listed as a major ex.)

[OscarGeronimo]

Ruined for been revealed this? No. Thing is that those guys were passing us dirt as an experiment. Why bother? Cause it isn't an isolated situation: they enjoyed "getting crap past the radar" as their secret mission statement.

I REMEMBER as a kid A WEIRD AND AWKWARD FEELING FROM THIS SHOW I couldn't understand (made me switch it), so kids are not morons, they perceive and wanna learn but don't have yet the brain mechanisms to separate/classify and exclude certain stimuli.

[MooseyFate100]

That splurt.

[eques101]

I wouldn't want that mild. man the things you miss as kids lol

[TheZakuMan]

It's no mere milk he's producing. It's dickmilk.

[WolfieStorr]

Oh woe is me, my childhood is ruined, grow up, all men love to cum now and then.

[minhsan]

ruined childhood .____.

[magenta667]

...oh sweet lord the things i notice now that completely ruin my childhood

[Meowlick12]

guess he needed STEER sperms

[Meowlick12]

OMG TYTYTY I BEEN SOO LOOKING FOR THIS CLIP FOR YEARS!

[JiBiscuit45]

Got Milk? xD

[zoetherebel]

How did I NOT notice this?

[IamNCortex]

Heffer have craft: Mad Milk.

[Drunksonic]

@IamNCortex Level 5 Non-Milk Substance

[madaraoluv2]

this so was so subliminal. Yet so much better that spongbob

[thomcat86]

I remember being a kid and this was the first episode my parents watched with me...they made me leave the room. 

[Adler36]

@thomcat86 OmG, really? Well, it's really very subliminal...

[BigBangBlitz]

Jigen is such a perverted bastard.

[MrJakeFarley]

Masturbation is very obvious... the milk is an word like sperm

[thebladezmanII]

Shame the DVD doesn't contain this scene. Nick is retarded.

[Capoiera07]

HES NOT A COW, HES A STEER

[tiosopaman]

blowjob?

[SykoFox]

Wow, that squish noise at the end was really subtle.

I seriously fucking love Rocko's Modern Life.

[sdmitch16]

Anyone notice heifer means female cow, the type that you would get milk from?

[sdmitch16]

The farmer smiled before causing a ejaculation. I think he wanted wanted sperm in the milk supply.

[FlapjackFiend2012]

Best O-face I've ever seen

[ItsAbacus2009]

I remember this. For years they would show it, "Uncute" but by the time 2000 came along Nick realised this was just to "Dirty" for tv, and cut this part out.

[MyScorpion42]

Got milk?

[gunsandammo92]

i love going back to old shows and seeing stuff that was clearly over my head at the time

[TheEdRock77]

i remember in latin america this scene isnt uncut in 2000 and 2001. but later oh well

[thomcat86]

I remember being about six and watching this with my parents....after this scene they made me leave the room.

[N1NJ4F15H]

HAHA this is so funny.dang.in a kids show?really?you couldnt find stuff this mature on family guy!

[RamTerritory]

What is this I don't even

[StatDaddy]

I watched this during its first release, while in my 30's. I thought it was hilarious. I recently bought the complete first season. This scene was deleted from the DvD collection. I have it on VHS somewhere with the scene intact. I heard a couple of other scenes were deleted as well.

[BoooRatt]

I remember this episode and it was screwed up!

[drdansir2002]

@40390576 Wow... that was painful.

[rsflutterby]

No! I just think it's funny that she got the joke!!

[SovereignStatesman]

The problem's that Heffer is a STEER.

[fuckakakaka]

jesus how did this get passed the censors

[Dominicanboy255]

@fuckakakaka times were different back then and how the hell did i not notice these jokes!!goddamit i'm mad for missing these lol

[SovereignStatesman]

@fuckakakaka

Rocko was on Nick cable.

[nopushbutton]

Oh gosh, the little splat sound as he falls down... O_O

[promisedeyes]

I want to do that... seriously

[sega31098]

This is why butter is salty.

[Iemanonymous1]

This show is weird.

[SovereignStatesman]

@Iemanonymous1

It wasn't that funny either.

[WolfieStorr]

@drdansir2002 I think you'll find they're actually "U D D E R S", You need to learn to spell before you can call others morons.

[WolfieStorr]

@drdansir2002 ...plus, The star of this video is a male, therefore he doesn't have an udder.

[FutureScience2012]

@WolfieStorr who said it was sucking his udders. :)

[bigpyro1618]

@drdansir2002 What you're referring to is his dick. Der.

[drdansir2002]

@bigpyro1618 Upon further inspection, you'll find that I was making fun of the uploaders description of the video.

[bigpyro1618]

@bigpyro1618 Cool story. Upon further inspection that nub between your leg is a cock. Who'da thunk?

[culbertsonew]

@drdansir2002 Also, you spelled DURR wrong.

[patsrule1112]

heffer isnt a bull......hes a steer

[sega31098]

@patsrule1112

A steer is a castrated cow.

Heffer, as seen ejaculating here, is not castrated.

[MsKrishtina]

@sega31098 He often called himself a steer in the show.

[sega31098]

@MsKrishtina

Well then this contradicts the show.

Or did he just get a vasectomy?

[sega31098]

@MsKrishtina

Well then this contradicts the show.

Or did he just get a vasectomy?

[Noreligioninthispub]

His eyes were originally suppose to be hearts, Nickelodeon had the writers change them to stars.

[ekham1]

my childhood has been raped.... again

[Joemamma69000]

Whats really funny is that the machine slowly begins getting faster.

[Concheria1]

I didn't wanted to see this :(

[Glen7000]

What's the name of this episode?

[massoud98]

@Glen7000 Season 1 episode 6: The Good, the bad, the wallaby

[Glen7000]

@massoud98 Thank You

[KingOfKatamari]

That's... not an udder.

[gritnom]

Let's hope no other episode is or gets an edited release or syndicated release on the dvds.

[TOOLandNINfan]

Just bought season one on DVD and Nickelodeon edited this scene out!  Arg, made me so mad! main reason I got the set...

[YoshiAngemon]

@TOOLandNINfan Don't blame Shout Factory, blame Nickelodeon. They used an edited airing.

[TOOLandNINfan]

@YoshiAngemon Did I mention Shout Factory?... "Nickelodeon edited this scene out" is apparently not specific enough.

[YoshiAngemon]

@TOOLandNINfan Well, Shout Factory didn't get the Uncut version in time, or Nick refused to hand over the Unedited Masters (they're greedy).

[momonator123]

@TOOLandNINfan The thing that makes me mad is, nick DID release an unedited VHS of this in 1997, so they should have the master SOMEwhere. Why cant they just do this right?!?!

[shithappens17]

i distinctly remember watching this scene...little did i know that Heffer was getting a mechanical blowjob O_O

[Sythe5665]

he's a STEER!

[MegaZombieCat]

@Sythe5665 they put it on his PENIS!

[YoshiAngemon]

@MegaZombieCat You beat me to it!

[cowboymarchingband1]

jizz in my pant

[NielithTheProphet]

HE'S A STEER!

[davidbassplanc]

@NielithTheProphet whateva

[Sythe5665]

@NielithTheProphet lol... we said the same thing :P

[13Superkitsune]

Mommy mommy this whipped cream tastes funny :(

[ZZTX]

We had this episode on VHS... I'm pretty sure we watched it with my parents. o.o

[NotEnoughBooks]

well, i'm going to need brain bleach after this. My childhood is ruined. Thanks Cracked!

[WrinryRockBellFMA]

Welp. I hope you like your milk...

No, I'm not even going there.

[BrendonSmall456]

Aw skeet skeet

[TheLongestUsername93]

THEY KILLED THE CENSORS!!!

[garvensman]

I was old enough to get this when it came out.. not my brothers though lol. I didn't explain it though, figured I would let them get it later in life. And there definitely is a "splooge!" sound effect.. this show was epic.

[ExistentialExistence]

You spelled heifer wrong. :B

[EvilJirachi]

@ExistentialExistence You didnt read the description :B

[roguetrip99]

Heffer reminds me of Alan from "The Hangover" for some reason

[promisedeyes]

I've read online that guys on the farm who've tried this say it feels really, really good.

[nickthestick26]

@promisedeyes Did you "read" whether or not they use lubricant? :P

[rsflutterby]

I remember being 14 years old and babysitting for a little 9 year old girl who got the joke!! LOL!

[JoYoJoYoJoYoJo]

@rsflutterby Did you molest her?

[EmperorEmpoleon2]

I just realized that there's a semi-disturbing squirt noise at the end...

[SirFakeName]

I don't remember this but i don't think it would've went completely over my head as a child. Even back then I knew about the parts of an animal and males so seeing Heffer get excited over something in his lower regions would've made me think udder, penis and ass. Ass is ruled out because he's looking in the front. Udders would have been ruled out if someone told me that boy cows didn't have udders. Thus leaving only one possibility. But like i said, I don't even think I saw this.

[bensonmunch]

LOL I actually remember this part from when I was a kid before it got censored, I nevered got the joke then but now that I older OMG!!!

[VidMasterZ]

Actually, Heffer explained that he is a steer (which means he was neutered). That kinda contradicts this joke...

[Joemamma69000]

Pump those things enough and you just might have some milk if you know what I mean.

[TheMasterSword16]

holy crap i don't remember this. was this removed from tv?

[TheBrokulisOriginal]

@TheMasterSword16 Yes. This scene is a joke to masturbation. The Nickelodeon exclude this scene forever after the first transmission. In the Nicktoons this scene not exist too.

[KingOfKatamari]

@TheBrokulisOriginal First airing only, huh? That's not the only time it's happened to this show.

[LightDarkZero]

@TheBrokulisOriginal Somehow, in my country, they did not removed this scene, i was watching over and over again, its pretty weird :p

[lpgurlnj]

Whoa!!!

[SithArbiter1157]

Why, don't I remember this part in this episode?

[SirColAmiX]

I wish I've watched it without the disturbing sound effects XD

[bossultamate]

I always knew rocko and even the rugrats had adult jokes and inuendos, but I didnt realize till now how far it went.

my childhood

[tripwirecreator25]

oh I get it...

[Eragarev]

Why is this hot to me?..

[shoutmon447]

eewwwwwwww

[tibora13]

That nigga milked a hot load lol!

[KennethMoreland]

Heffer is a Steer.

[Quiverwing]

I think it's the loud splat noise when he falls down that grosses me out the most about this one.

But holy crap, man, at least two-thirds of this show was all about sexual innuendo.

[Deathscent089]

just how can you past up a link that reads 'Heffer's machine induced orgasm'

[Marlowe3488]

yeah there was also the "turn your head and cough" joke in the driver's test episode... Rocko's Modern Life was kind of fucked up

[Theburn77]

wow I didn't realize as a kid how much adult stuff was kind of snuck into this

[AliceRedSpy]

@Theburn77

Back in the 90s, a lot of stuff slipped by censors.

Most cartoons exploited this as well.

With Rocco's Modern Life they had a lot of undertones in their jokes that only adults would get, some jokes weren`t at risque as this but regardless.

[SeanStrife]

@AliceRedSpy And let's not forget Animaniacs... "GIVE ME THE BIRD!" "We'd love to, really, but the Fox censors won't allow us."

[eruption257]

@SeanStrife "No, no, no, FINGER Prince!"

[SeanStrife]

@eruption257 "...I don't think so."

[KMxHearts]

Oh my god.

[seatspud]

Got milk! (Anyone did this yet?)

[lisambofoh]

I...I cannot comment.

[WolfieRankin]

"There's a certain type of youtube commentator who finds rather tame, but mildly edgy stuff "Disturbing", I want to strangle this person." - Wolfie!

[HELLMACH07]

Thanks cracked.com, you ruined my childhood!

[monkfishification]

Fucking modern censors. Nothing is funny anymore.

[Jakedyt1]

Dood, I first saw this in like 8th grade... im so happy i can now show this to everybody!!! this was one of the nickelodeon greats!

[Foxxie0kun]

I still think the "Berry bush" thing on another episode was worse...

Damn, it's a good thing kids don't know what's going on in these scenes, or else I'd be worried about the posterity XD

Oh, wait, nowadays kids have Chowder and other mindless right-in-your-face-obvious fart jokes and no real substance whatsoever. And CN Real...

And Looney Tunes were banned for being "Too violent for children"... Yeah, because it's totally fine for a tomato to be licking a phallic ice cream cone...

[Gaze51]

i'm 12 and what is this?

[jedibri81]

I can't believe i finally found this clip, now i can show my wife that this scene exist! at last my life has a purpose lol!

[NaruneWatercrest]

Oh. My. God. No.

[guitarguybassdude]

Wf it got sensored on netflix. Do they really think that kids watching this will be turned into peverts? No. We all came out just fine watching this. Damn nick.

[JetstreamGW]

Mr Wolfe: HE'S A STEER!

[speeps84]

THANKS CRACKED!!!

[HuggumsMcgehee]

What the hell were we watching back then? The Chokey Chicken? The "oh baby"? It all makes sense NOW, but wtf?

[hotelmario510]

Hm. That was...dirty.

[MCulpa]

this...is frightening me.

[mouse264]

I love you, Cracked. A

And you too, WolfieStorr. :D

[xarealpersonx]

@iRoflCopterX You're taking this waay too personally.

[Zeptis1337]

@iRoflCopterX chill out, smoke moar.

[josh18230]

Holy crap this show was way dirtier than I thought. That is a brilliant way to break the censors. South Park would be proud.

[musselman86]

@josh18230 would be proud? RML debuted 4 years before south park....so, i think you mean Joe Murray would be (or probably is) proud of Parker and Stone for continuing the censor wars.....the only difference is that South Park is a late night show on comedy central (an adult oriented network) and Rocko's Modern Life was a childrens show on a childrens network. making it "worse" than south park

[spongebobfairlyoddpa]

@musselman86 they're both amazing shows that knew how to push the limit of censorship, which is what makes me respect the creators even more. South Park is also my favorite show ever and Rocko's Modern Life is one of my favorite nicktoons.

[sonorpaiste702]

@iRoflCopterX You kinda have to know what sex is before you associate it with anything, and seeing as most 7 year olds don't know what sex is, or masturbation, they don't associate this scene with it.

Oh, and by the way, I'm 17 and I think Rocko's use of subtle adult humor along with child humor is brilliant and progressive. It got my parents to watch cartoons with me that would have otherwise been dreadfully boring, so if anything it unites families at an early age.

[lcjj7]

Oh Cracked

[TheSteakJustice]

haha jesus christ

[1337R34P3R]

@iRoflCopterX someone needs to get laid.

[Frusciantefan77]

@iRoflCopterX Yeah, cause only losers like sex. Never has anyone else ever made a joke about sex.

[supermario0192837465]

@iRoflCopterX take it easy kiddo. Also, why must you prove your knowledge by stating your age

[james4115]

@iRoflCopterX okay, have fun realizing that most of the jokes on OTHER shows are way more hidden than this, and rocko's modern life was, according to the creator, a way to get tons of adult humor into a kids show.guess why it's not on nick anymore?

[EmceeNolan]

@james4115 Well, for what it's worth, it's not on Nick anymore because the contract expired after the required 52 episodes. Same as the original Doug, Ahh Real Monsters, and other nicktoons. Even Rugrats was only slated to produce 52 episodes, but a couple years later, after the buzz was unbelievable and it was by far and away Nickelodeon's top rated show, they had no choice but to produce more. RML was still highly successful.

[Lydge]

Oh yea, I loved this show as a kid and I still love it now. I actually got some of it as a kid, how screwed up is that?

[SAMASzero]

Cracked again.

[themartinisong]

th worst part is that the farmer totally knew what he was doing too. look at that smirk.

[MrMario2011]

Oh God, that's disturbing!

[HTwenty1]

"Honey, does this milk taste salty to you?"

[TurtlexChan]

I love Rocko's Modern Life, so much adult humor XD

[BlackFang74]

i think that if there werent so much unnecisery sencorchip of tv then developers wouldn't have the urge to try and sneak so many dirty jokes past them

[james4115]

@BlackFang74 i think if there were more fun educational shows, kids wouldn't end up like you. great spelling by the way.

To think that I was watching soft animated porn when I was a child . . .

Thanks, Cracked.com