Stella D'Oro Breakfast Treats Ad

[MisterSynyster]

whats worse is she is apparently up at 3 am just to eat cheap biscotti

[skillcosby88]

...and THIS is why i don't want to get married

[saynototrolling]

why does this couple remind me of jack and wendy torrance?

[MrHypermoto]

Maybe if you'd learn to fuck me I wouldn't be down here chewing away at this thing pretending its the paperboy's dick!

[hando88c]

I remember watching this in the 80's!

[AirbornMartin]

SNACK TIME ANY TIME!

[Chariset]

Hey, you limeys..... we Americans have Northerners too

[Pastor9764]

Wow, this isn't even recognizable as an advertisement. Seriously, remove the last few moments with the logo and it looks and feels like a scene out of a Swedish family melodrama.

[WalterLiddy]

Man, I remember this now. 

[paydirt78]

Patton Oswalt!!!!!!!!!!

[ishouldplayzelda]

i didn't think this was real /:l

[currier207]

your twat smells like a babys coffin!

yeah george, you mean that baby we didn't have because you couldn't get your dick up you low wage asshole

stella doro breakfast treats YOU SAW IT NOW EAT!!!

[GreenGearMood]

The FUCK.

[Flash33181]

Night Ranger should have come in, went "SCRIBBLY FLABBIDY DOO!" on the guitar and turned the hag into the Swedish Bikini Team, the guy into the Norwegian bikini team, and the Stella D'Oro Breakfast Treats into Jet Black Double Headed Rubber Dildos.

[MrMonkeyThumbsticks]

@Flash33181 You, sir, are a marketing genius.

[Beeguiling]

Christ, that's bleak.

[MuffinManTF]

"Well, maybe if you learned how to fuck me, I wouldn't be down here gnawing on this thing like it was the paperboy's dick!"

"You fucking whore!"

[Ichiboy900]

@MuffinManTF "Well maybe if you'd learn how to eat some PUSSY I wouldn't be down hear trying to get a sugar high off this goddamned thing!"

"Your twat smells like a baby's coffin!"

[Megazord5]

I bet that unfuckable hag's twat smells like a baby's coffin.

[FillingtheVoidRevues]

George, eatcha fuckin' breakfast treat.

[SuFamiChalmers]

Snack time, anytime

[ixplosion]

i think Patton DID build up the pace of the dialogue, which for comedy HAS to be done, because nothing beats a good build up. he changed some lines, and intensified the tones, but that's a comedian. they have to come up with material, see the funny in the seemingly unfunny and become entertainers. luckily Patton Oswalt does all of these things. one thing i will admit, he certainly didnt exaggerate the MOOD and setting of this commercial. it's downright disturbing and depressing

[Morebetterlessworse]

@ixplosion very true. He does this quite often. I looked up "Death Bed, The Bed that Eats People" its not the same exact title but he intentionally changes that sorta stuff to bring the audience in and put them on their ass laughing.

[clamydag]

The husband looks a lil bit too much like Jack in the Shining.....o_o

[iweargoggles2]

that's a valid question

[hogo1]

wow, did Patton blow that commercial out of proportion, I am so disappointed

[daybreak456]

well looks like they needed to gnaw on their sweet crumbly cookies

[syncopated84]

WHAT'R YOU DOIN!?

[toshestation]

"Maybe if you ever learned to fuck me, I wouldn't be sitting down here gnawing on this like it's the paperboys dick!...Stella D'Oro breakfast treats. Snack time, anytime!"

[Sirveaux]

@toshestation They'd probably both be a happier.

[amsteve93]

Patton. Hahaha

[TheDameofdarkness]

damn ya'll beat me to it lol

[xdiesease]

These comments confuse me, I think I'm here for an unpopular reason....

[PAAL323]

@xdiesease Hahaha, Patton Oswalt does a bit on this commercial that's amazingly funny.

[tedcantu1]

@xdiesease Check out the Patton Oswalt stand up comedy routine on Stella D'oro Breakfast Treats - and all will be revealed

[QuadropheniaBrosef]

snack time anytime

[TheKiffles]

In a dank, shadowy, David Fincher-esque basement...

[SpaceRitual]

So. Fucking. Depressing. This is how you get people to buy your product? God damn.

[hecticdmc]

@SpaceRitual the 70's were a... different... time. To say the very least.

[runedude65]

Patton oswald hell yea

[DoubtfulGrace]

basically biscotti if you lived in a trailer park...

[Incognito1986]

Three AM in the morning....

[fuckyounotme1]

maybe if u learned how to fuck me, i woudnt be gnawing on this thing like it was the paper boys dick! you whore!!!

[mperhaps]

What are all of you doing? Why are you here? I am not comfortable with this. How fucking predictable is my life. That was supposed to be a move from the farthest reaches of left field. I'm listening to P. Oswald and what the heck might as well check to see if the stella commercial exists. Not only are my thoughts common and unoriginal but Oracle 19 thought the same thing 18 months ago and has been hosting this Patton Oswald block party waiting for the slower members of our class to catch up

[satanicdiscowombat]

My favorite part is the startled newscaster at the end.

[iamweapon]

WHAT AH YAH DOIN?!?

[Liebling05]

Freaking weird.

[dyingenglish91]

Stella D'Oro breakfast treats: Snack time anytime!

[Craxblorg]

If a boyfriend ever proposes, I'm sending him this ad as an explanation for my 'no'.

[zzman305]

Patton was right...

[MrFX313]

Thumbs up if you came to see this video because of Patton Oswalt

[jpoolerdom]

@MrFX313 yeah, the ad itself is terrible, but i was curious. less yelling and hate then I expected.

[Csp499]

The husband reminds me of Jack Nicholson's character in the movie "The Shining".

[nebulapony]

Ohhh, my! Patton Oswalt is so right, that is the scariest ad I've ever seen! xD

[BBBoggs]

Patton Oswalt is epic funny. I've heard him talk about this ad countless times, but I wasn't sure it actually existed.

[danielswensen]

If you can have 'em anytime, WHY do they call 'em BREAKFAST TREATS?

[Astrokuta]

Thanks for uploading this. Ever since I saw the Patton Oswalt bit I've been curious to see the actual commercial. Patton might have exaggerated a little but it was still hilarious.

[em129836]

LOL do ppl seriously spend years in college getting a marketing degree just to make this shitty of a commerical

[pocketocrisps]

I never want to get married.

[tedcantu1]

There is another version of this that Patton is referring to - I remember it, the old man comes in on the right side of the screen and its really dark, you can barely see the table

[Greg08101995]

@tedcantu1 i'm guessing so i could be wrong but i remember it being dark also . were tv sets that shitty and this is a better quality commercial ? IDK

[johnnameworks]

In the search for new comedy material, how the hell do you come across stella doro treats? Pat Oswald is either a genius or psycho.

[Sherrodzilla]

@PattonOswalt's nightmarital bliss

[JTC545]

It's definitley not as outragous as Patton put it in his stand-up but there is such a feeling of misery in that "house" and with their looks. Action speaks louder than words

[DaveT62]

He isn't QUITE as awful as Patton made him sound, but she's a thousand times worse!!! OUCH!

[QuatermassMan]

That fucking whore.

[qwertyhuio]

I'm am going to have fucking nightmares because that commercial is seriously disturbing!!!!!!!!!!!

[Clutnuckle]

my favorite part is the very last second, where you see a reporter about to start talking after commercials. i will never know what he was going to say...

[crowt68]

Thank You! I've looked high and low for this ,although I do like Patton's rendering of the commercial much better.Now I have something else in my head besides the voices.

[DanZero77]

Stella D'oro Breakfast Treats..... SNACK TIME ANYTIME.....

[nerdgasm84]

Patton was right, she is an unfuckable hag

[Grifcannon]

Love the face of newscaster at the end. Almost like he's saying "What the fuck"?

[KnaveMurdok]

This isn't half as disturbing as Patton made it sound. That guy doesn't sound a bit like Gilbert Gotfried.

[lcozzarelli]

@KnaveMurdok well in his defense, I grew up in that era and was also justly horrified at that commercial. Through the years of making fun of it, the voices kind of got distorted in my head to match the obnoxiousness of the dialogue...it's actually a little disappointing to watch :)

[KnaveMurdok]

@lcozzarelli Fair enough, I suppose there have been times when something that sounded weird at one time got weirder and weirder sounding every time I re-told the story. :P

[elpymppe]

Wow, I think she's about to kill herself.

[Counse]

This is even more disturbing than Patton made it out to be.

[mattnaturally]

This is just creepy

[BohemianBlasphemy]

The guy at the very end, the one they couldn't edit out for some reason, is perfect!

He's holding a paper, and the expression of WTF on his face is priceless.

Picture this: He is the president of the Stella D'Oro company and what we saw before is not the ad, but the pictures on his head as he read the script of the proposed ad.

[Diamondlovebaby]

Boring cookies with a boring couple.

[sartistman1]

Does anyone else notice that when he goes to taste the breakfast treat, he dosen't even take a bite out of it? He just puts his lips on it and pretends to chew. I guess Patton Oswalt was right about these things being "horrible, crappy cookies" LOL

[yamon98]

i think this is worse than Patton's bit, the woman seems suicidal.

[CoolerKing37]

Holy shit. Never thought I'd see this commerical. The husband's look at 0:19 just screams "rapist".

[mfentruck]

@CoolerKing37

He played the stove in the movie Rape Stove: The Stove that Rapes People.

[Billinois78]

I almost feel bad for that ONE person who clicked on this without having ever heard the Patton Oswalt bit. That one person who clicked on it for an unrelated reason.

[akwaqs]

I haven't had those since I lived in Brooklyn and the mayor was John Lindsay. Now I want Stella D' Oro Breakfast treats! Where can you get them in Northern CA?

[zjc92]

This is probably worse than Patton said.

[Trystaticus]

GAHHH!

[pishiest]

I'll be honest, Patton Oswalt oversold this. They seem quite harmonious.

[archer1949]

@pishiest I don't think "harmonious" is the word. More like a combination of resigned indifference and being doped to the gills on booze and prescription sedatives.

Actually, I find these blank eyed zombies creepier than Patton Oswalt's angry, hate filled, trolls.

[skywal3735]

Thank you so much for finding and posting this commercial

[djanimale]

Epic. Oswalt totally killed that joke!

[Truxa99]

Patton Oswalt is the shit

[mycurse333]

thumbs up if Patton lead ya here

[Billinois78]

@mycurse333 I wish there was a 'well no shit' button.

[ConnDevi88]

George looks like a guy in the park you would try to move your family away from when your walking.

[andxx0r]

The couple in this commercial doesn't seem nearly as antagonistic and unhappy as Patton makes it seem, which is to be expected.

However, the actual setting itself....holy shit. It might actually be worse than Patton described. Fincher-esque nightmare kitchen indeed.

[despondentisthmus]

@andxx0r I think this version is different from the one Patton mentioned. I remember the couple being less amiable, and the husband looked more like the Dunkin Donuts actor ("Time to make the donuts....")

[thevgman]

Pause at 0:22 and look at his face. That's hilarious.  The commercial is hilarious but Patton Oswalt made it have EPIC LULZ

[liquidpimpette]

"You know maybe if you learned to eat some pussy, I wouldn't be trying to get a sugar high off this thing!"

"YOUR TWAT SMELLS LIKE A BABY'S COFFIN!"

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

Stella D'oro breakfast treats, snacktime anytime.

[guitarhero2211]

goddamn she is an unfuckable hag

[Wrathbone13]

Brought to you by David Fincher...

[MarkatLSU]

You know the dialogue isn't that bad but the visual...my god that's a rough commercial

[NewYorkRetroKing]

According to market research, these cookies appeal to people in their late fifties trapped in failed, hateful marriages. And as they sink deeper into the suppurating asshole of mutual acrimony and defeat, they need to gnaw on these sweet, crumbly cookies.

[cannibalfan01]

@NewYorkRetroKing that is great market reasearch

[cannibalfan01]

@NewYorkRetroKing that is great market research

[limbdarkening]

What the hell is wrong with the husband's teeth?! Holy shit this is scary.

[DancingSpiderman]

@limbdarkening i gree

I guess James Brolin and Morgan Fairchild were busy on other TV projects

[CurtDogg]

Well maybe if the husband learned to eat some pussy, she wouldn't be gnawing on those cookies like the paperboy's dick

[Pixiesnix]

@CurtDogg Maybe her twat smells like a baby's coffin.

[Efreeti]

@Pixiesnix YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!

[Pixiesnix]

@Efreeti Stella D'Oro Breakfast Treats! Snacktime, anytime!

[SpaceToasterTV]

@CurtDogg That fucking whore! D8<

[kyusama347]

@CurtDogg YOU WHORE!

[tragicallyhip4ever]

This is just as horrifying as Patton described.