Episode 7 - Self Defense (Plus a message to all HYBRIDS)

[Navedragon]

I was looking at the tags, and besides the "everyman" tag, none of them point to slender man. It'd be hilarious if someone started watching these just looking for health/fitness/selfdefense advice and started seeing slenderman

[por13siempre]

Just to clarify, they do not have bear hands. They have human hands.

[LxSound1]

The camera guy sux needs to zoom out more and dont talk about the knife fight nice fight club refrence

[FoxGuy777]

How do you block a Slenderman tentacle?

[ddrstandard2008]

@FoxGuy777 knives lots and lots of sharp knives

[darkrosethevampire]

he should be on street fighter xD

[LynziPervz]

I keep missing Slendy because I'm paying too much attention to the lessons. Lol!

[Coolz256]

Too bad none of this will protect you against...

SLENDER MAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

[Daggroth]

Evan is hilarious

[kmp1191]

HADOKEN!!

[pingvins5]

Ive seen enough...subbed.

[KOJIDARTH]

Wait when the fuck do you front kick and put your body in front of the kick

[KOJIDARTH]

Who does a workout video in jeans?

[xThexSL0Px]

Hit ALL the organs!

[MrDcost1988]

I think Jeff is Slender Man >______<

[halofable574]

4:46 you can also do the  original green power ranger pimp slap

[GargleHornets]

The youtube poop in the related videos killed the mood lol

[ccooooll18]

Slendy in the painting

[TheQuattlebaumer]

Is Slendy's suit custom-made, or is it a nice suit?

[kassyezombie]

@TheQuattlebaumer I would figure custom made. I don't think Armani makes suits with that many arms.

[kartmangrind666]

I'm starting to think Slendy likes video cams...

[yamynamesjeremiah]

lol 0:35 Evan's face in response to "aka my basement"

[InvaderRek]

Uh, screw the grizzly. Slender Man, I choose you!

[Kraele]

I start ignoring their health advice and scanning the background at all times for Slendy.

[falsepride22]

When he got the bigger knife I was hoping he would say "Now this is a knife!"

[feeblepizza]

Beatles :D

[PachucoDesigns]

It's a shame that none of this apparently works with whatever the hell Slender Man is. lol

[coconutpower18]

or with the knife fight ... you could just run away .

[SickSilckMan]

@coconutpower18 I think that falls under the same category as "don't get into a knife fight" XD

[DopeWithMyScopes]

good dubstep at the start

[MrCrapDude]

I was in a knife fight recently... these tips didn't help... it hurt... alot...

[BLHLF]

From now I'm carrying a grizzly bear in my pocket just in case someone wants to fuck with me.

[ThatGuyNamedTim]

First rule of knife fight: You do not talk about the knife fight xDDD

[silentseekerinfinite]

haters gonna hate slenders gonna slend

[mrnoname1]

step one: get wrist control

step two: take out your gun

[duhstydncg]

Slender-count: 12

[steveasat2]

8:02 Still courting tragedy by mouthing off about gym fees? You better give lessons in sleeping with one eye open.

[ChristinaSphinx]

this IS fake, right?

...right?

[harrylane4]

@LordMaster1234 I don't know who taught you martial arts, but last time I checked, youre supposed to keep your thumbs out of your fist

[Gohstchan]

@harrylane4 yea, cause you could break your tumb right?

[harrylane4]

I've spent more time reading the comments than I have watching the series

[montagemaker2000]

Damn lizard people!!! Sorry watching lost tapes.

[MaxwellChillington]

Evan reminds me of Randall from Clerks

[argebarse]

The self-defense technique I use most often is "run the fuck away"

[jonbenonly2011]

I can't find video 8 -.-

[KakashiRoyal]

@jonbenonly2011 There isn't one, the ghostly activity had risen to the point it interfered with their progress of their vids, so there is no episode 8 and ect. It adds a nice way of showing how a good thing turns gradually bad, case in point, all the random and unnerving clips/distortions/pics that show up to throw the viewer, [that's you], into distraught and confusion. Ultimately, it's meant to grip you into a sense of worry and fear, tossing you for a loop chronologically and disorientingly.

[1337w0n]

is that what your calling him "The Enemy" not "HIM" or "Tall dude" "Thin Guy" or "fyraqrezna" (fry-rack-raez-nya)

[alexrulez22]

lol 6:35 "Get wrist control." derrick comedy anybody?

[EnDZYm3]

ARG and storytelling aside, their videos are actually pretty informative and entertaining.

If they had better camerawork, I bet they could've gotten a lot of subscribers.

[battosaijoe]

@EnDZYm3 Right, they only have 14.5k subscribers. That's not many at all...

[EnDZYm3]

@battosaijoe

****ARG AND STORYTELING ASIDE*****

We're talking within the context of JUST a Health and Fitness channel.

[ndv123ndv]

slendy just wants to learn some self defense tips

[KXAbeta]

I actually learned soms shit from this, I do really love this series.

[SplaserFilms]

rules of a knife fight

1. you do not talk about a knife fight

2.you DO NOT talk about the knife fight

lol fight club referrence

[EvangelineDominic]

I love how i am just watching these Fitness/ Slenderman series and eating Candy, popcorn and cookies. XD

[OreoJoseph]

00:37 DAT ASS

[Saaaataan]

0:55 far right, shit brix

[DaUziel]

@Saaaataan Yeah that was a terrifying lamp.

[HOTlavaB]

@Saaaataan slendys shoulder

[spike9985]

0:02 SUPER MEAT BEATER

[Wizlyy]

@CarbonDomainRecords Ok what's your deal? Are you a mormon or something? That's two videos where you complain about the cursing. This isn't My Little Pony, it's a fucking creepypasta. No one cares. People curse. It's just words. Get over it.

[Doomybiscuit]

Friend: "Are you watching Slender Man vids *again*?"

Me: "... no..."

Friend: "Then what's this?"

Me: "... I'm learning how to become a healthier person while staying on budget?

[foxmccould1]

0:35 evan not amused

[Wafflepal]

0:55 When Vince leans over, you can see Slendy creepin in the hall.

1:20 Watch the window closely

1:40 Above his shoulder

[LiefWolfsbane]

another way to get out of the way of a hooker....

did anyone catch that?3:18

[LiefWolfsbane]

another way to get out of the way of a hooker....

did anyone catch that?3:23

[SableDement]

Silly humans, you cant go hand to hand with slendy

he'll fuck you black ass up

[Nyghtshade409]

Bare hands and feet aren't God's weapons-she uses lightning and giant grizzly bears! Didn't you know that?

[BOBMATIONproductions]

wheres slendy? i only see 2 guys dicking around with punches and kicks

[Aawrightyeo]

Does anyone notice mr.Slendy eavesdropping at between 30 and 1:04 probably listening to dem hany tips

[IHaveToWii]

Can anyone else imagine a Street Fighter style fight between Evan and Slenderman?

[RikiOhRed]

@IHaveToWii Evan Masters Vs Dhalslend

[MadHaTTe1992]

Now we know how Slenderman won against Evan!

[FaxModem1]

Is it bad that I enjoy the health and humor stuff more than the monster stuff?

[yummysock]

8:21....Wait..I thought there was only 3 of them? . But who's holding the camera? I know thats not a tripod..

Oh.SLENDY and your Camera skills. 

[RebelZhouYuWu]

@yummysock They put out a comment earlier that they had a friend holding the camera.

[grendel2900]

So what's the name of the song?

[DJrinzler1]

!!!!!!!!!



[grendel2900]

Because of the Scott Pilgrim vs. The World game, I love this music.

[luistaffelli]

wtf? because they have a slender man picture D:

[kramerful89]

What if Slenderman uses Hadouken? What do I do then?

[G4t0rH4zB1tch3z]

@iamnotascientisi YES!

[ReeseKempter]

ok as a martial artist, i'm pretty impressed. good work guys!

[dropshitrunforTARDIS]

first thing you need to do is get wrist control, then pull out your gun

[TinyHeadHouse]

<3 Evan

[MsDairykid]

@TinyHeadHouse Pretty hot, eh?

[nspicer8]

Masky should get a couple tips from these guys.

[GotBeefFan]

Should've used Guile's theme.

[LordMaster1234]

Not that it would make much difference against a multi-armed monstrosity, but you guys are gonna break your thumbs punching with fists like that.

[96emoninja]

Can you teach us to defend against six foot long arms please?

[96emoninja]

Can you teach us to defend against three foot long arms?

[99Kalinda]

is the 3 slendy apearances fake or real?

[DORproductions117]

@99Kalinda Real... he's after me too.

[5282890]

@DORproductions117 its just a meme and your paranoid

[MyTakeGaming]

I'm almost 7 foot tall and skinny. I was thinking maybe it would be funny to get a suit and mask and stand it the woods. Maybe record reactions? If someone calls the cops could I go to jail?

[hehehe88]

@MyTakeGaming not really, if you make a good excuse, looking for a lost watch, lost my briefcase running after a bird, my 20 dollars blew into the brush, etc

[homero980]

@MyTakeGaming nah but the real slender man would get pissed off... you don't want that

[MyTakeGaming]

@homero980 YOU don't I do.

[IDontTrustSheep]

@MyTakeGaming you have a duty as a user of the internet to do it then upload the footage to youtube

[s71elite]

@MyTakeGaming holy shit dude do it. I want to see that, it'd be hilarious

[182crazyK]

@MyTakeGaming You can't go to jail but LEOs can order you out of an area, perhaps question you for suspicious activity (they may take you for a snappy-dressed pedophile if you're by a playground, for example). However, that shouldn't be an issue if you explain to anybody who's freaked out.

[AutumnDevi]

@MyTakeGaming For a practical joke where you're not even threatening anyone? I doubt it.

[MrMilo46]

@MyTakeGaming I don't think it's technically illegal if your just standing there not threatening anyone. I mean, it's not illegal to dress however you want and it's not illegal to stand in public woods, so it's not illegal to dress like slenderman and stand in public woods. I would be scared as fuck if I saw you, though, haha

[warisanswer]

@MyTakeGaming you wont go to jail necessarily, you will probably just get asked to leave. I would actually be more concerned about finding a mask that makes you look like the slender man dude. After all he doesn't have a face, so if you find a good enough mask, it may be a little difficult to breathe

[agoose7]

@warisanswer A morph suit would work

[warisanswer]

@agoose7 thats true, i didnt think of that

[AriesGoddess93]

That's not a knife.

THIS is a knife!

[timburtonlover369]

@AriesGoddess93 That's a spoon. :|

[AriesGoddess93]

@timburtonlover369 you do know what I'm referencing right? XD

[timburtonlover369]

@AriesGoddess93 ...Well, I *thought* I did until you said that. XD (But I guess you didn't know what I was referencing either, so meh. :p)

[AriesGoddess93]

@timburtonlover369 XD we failed

[dragonathan9]

i like that knife

[Metis272]

Is that book on the desk House of Leaves? If so; nice. If not; oh... my mistake.

[jellywillreturn]

At the very beginning, your video makes a YouTube Poop of itself.

[PinkProgram]

I can't help but analyze your technique... you'd be in trouble facing something with the same martial knowledge that I have ^_^ remember that the human elbow can be a pretty nasty weapon and if you dodge a punch you shouldn't leave your head open for an elbow to the temple ;D

[tanzfete]

I want the music to this video pl0x :)

[fireflies207]

YOU HAVE BEEN CURSED BY THAT WOODEN DOLL THING ON THE LEFT ON EVERY OPENING OH MY GAWD!!!! Because you have it Slendy took the body of that doll and goes on human size

[waitingindarkness4u]

0:34 - 0:38ish FUUUU-

[barneysgonnafindyou2]

0:01 jacking off lol

[lynchianmaniac]

worst cameraman ever... and it doesen't even matter :D

[hankyje117]

The first rule about knife fight "Do not talk about knife fight"

FIGHT CLUB REFERENCE!!!!!!! HARHARHARHARHARHARHARHARHARHAR­HARHAR

[MsDairykid]

@hankyje117 fight club? I don't know what you're talking about, kind sir.

[TheTachomacho]

@MsDairykid first rule

[KingOrokos]

I love how the series actually works as an informative show, even though that's not really what it's about.

Evan: You need to find something bigger than a knife...

Jeff: ...Like a grizzly bear.

[Arquive]

Why do you film in front of the window? T.T

[ishouldplayzelda]

window 1:21

[guineaman56]

This series is more of a thriller than scary, and to me, that's a good thing. Marble Hornets made me never want to sleep again, but this is awesome!

[alteredgrind]

@LtGenAkshonJackson Are you retarded? Do you not realize what this series is about?

[Ironfruit16]

I always wondered what would happen if you managed to punch Slenerman, or kick him, whatever.

[Bittergamer1886]

At 0:35. Pause the video. Make a wallpaper out of Evan's face.

[The1AndOnlySAGAKing]

I love these videos. They are like the horror version of Wheres Waldo? Slender Man could be anywhere. You just have to look.

[7FridayGirl109]

@The1AndOnlySAGAKing I was thinking the exact same thing xD

[Afoxtrotn00b]

I think this may be the first video where I'm actually paying attention to the subject matter of the HYBRID show and not scouring every pixel of the video for Slendahman.

[209hii]

@LtGenAkshonJackson how about being a bit formal and actually representing the country you :fight" for? i dont consider what you do, fighting, all you do is point a mechanical stick at someone and pull a trigger. doesnt have much to do with martial arts. get into wing chun and go ju ryu, then tell me how all that training you went through will help you

[TheBType]

@209hii

Children are supposed to behave on the internet, weather they be young or adults.

[endersgame55]

@209hii It's always hard to tell these days, but I would guess that this is a troll rather than an actual member of the military expressing a sincere opinion.

[ediblekonataizumi]

@LtGenAkshonJackson i guess cause your in the army you feel u gotta say that shit? well thats nice...go ahead and reply you wont be getting anything back...oh and slender man says hi :D

[returnofspiggstime]

the enemy has like fucken psychic powers lol. what would happen if you punched slendy in his face?

[scottg2230]

No, don't teach Slendy to fight! You're fucking us ALL over, man!

[RevanMahariel]

Holy shit, I think Slendy's in the Bud Light (or whatever it is) mirror! Bottom right. I think that's his tie. 

[areeb10000]

Pfffft, if slenderman ever came for me i would just whip out my penis and smack him in the face with it. Thats enough to stun ANYBODY.

[FelixNade]

I actually learned a slight bit about combat stance and fighting and shit. This is the best fucking horror show i've ever watched.

[twilightgirl4343]

I'm loving the Beatles shirt :]

[RandomMonotony]

You fools! Now Slenderman knows how to defend himself.

[SawdowKight]

the slenderman has like 8 arms so its probably a better idea to run or shoot

[NEWUSERXXXX]

This music is great to butter toast to.

[ff7rox456]

i've heard poking people in the eye works pretty good, too. too bad it wouldn't work in this case . . .

[emoneko585]

roundhouse kick....

chuck norris?

[AquiloTheTiger]

SLENDY IN THE WINDOW AT 1:22 - 1:25

[ledzeppelin2468]

I love how this series doubles up between a slendy show and an overall entertaining yet informative show. The only unavoidable problem is that I don't get to look at their faces a lot because I'm scanning every dark corner, reflective surface and wooded area for slenderman

[MsDairykid]

@ledzeppelin2468 I know that feel bro, It's exactly what I'm doing.

[dastuke]

@ledzeppelin2468 I usually end up skipping through trying to find the slenderman parts and end up missing all of them.

[cheetaclaw]

5:01 HOLY SHIT GUYS I JUST REALIZED THAT THEY HAD FERBREZE.

I FUCKING LOVE FERBREZE.

[tehfrog]

@cheetaclaw WELL FUCK ME SIDEWAYS AND CALL ME SALLY. ITS AT 1:56 TOO! HOLY FUCKING FUCK.

[swalottt]

Holy shit, that's some fancy background music. Anyone know where I could get an mp3 of it?

[Alhelir]

@thagesthoughts I don't think that may work in this case, see they try with a wooden bat and ran over him and nothing seems to work

[Alhelir]

so how do I defend my self from a dark suited faceless guy who can move faster than the human eye, dissapear when you turn on the light, also he has tentacles, hipnosis powers and can give me horribles cough attacks?

[Thagesthoughts]

@Alhelir A solid kick between the legs tends to solve most of mankind's problems.

[GRideBounca]

7:20 and easyly biting hes troat out wtf !?!? satanist

[Octoshark19]

Dude this is actually useful

[vdodev8]

Where the fuck is slendy??

[montagemaker2000]

@vdodev8 in the window @ 1:21

[montagemaker2000]

@montagemaker2000 Actually 1:20

[117starpower]

@montagemaker2000 ugh i saw its armD: