He's a great speaker, and he makes an important point: the biggest problem a lot of young gays face isn't bullying or put-downs, but confusion and a sense of isolation and inferiority. Definitely tough growing up gay, whether you're in a rural or urban environment. Thanks for uploading.
Amen. I'm still trying to this day to get 'acceptance' from my own Father. I've even had my neck broken by HIM. I've since forgiven him, but..... OMG.
i knew i was lesbian when i was 8 but didnt really show it until i was about 14. i think every gay. lesbian. and bisexual person needs more people like this
Your recollections are consistent with most gay people I know. We have an awareness at an early age of our attractions are able to name it at around 13. Data reflects our reports of awareness and adds information on the age when we are able to think in abstract terms, the age in which we develop language skills, the age at which most characteristics and behaviors seem to be set, etc. Gay men are generally aware of feelings around 11 but act out on those feelings usually a couple of years later.
@bmcnaught me and my identical twin brother knew we had STRONG feeling for males at 5 years old, and this sounds strange for people i think. I was never molested, in fact i never kissed my first boy until i was 18... but i had deep powerful feelings for them most of my childhood as well as my adulthood, and so did my brother...
Your speeches are very powerful and well said. The world needs much more people like you around. I once heard someone say: "If you think twice, you will be the genius of your family." and I think that if people think twice about homosexuality, the world would be a better place.
Thank you. I agree that thinking is required to get past our fears, but it helps to have accurate information to think about. That's why those of us who have experienced the truth need to share it with others.
I do understand your feelings of loneliness. Can you imagine yourself living someplace where who you are would be celebrated, not tolerated? Make it happen.
I had those feelings my entire life i thought sexuallity was a choice and when i realized it was time to accept those feelings if felt like i became gay so did everyone else they made me wish i wasn't here. I had girls programed into my head and wished i had understand waht it meant. It sucks here where I live everyone hates me makeing me wish i was like them but i am not and you seem to understand what i went though almost exactly thank you for understanding that.
thankyou for making this video, i am an out lesbian, and i am 13 years old. almost 14. i have known since i was arond 9. i love how these videos tell the straight people and help them understand
I am moving from NY to FL to live with my partner. We have been together for a long time living apart and visiting back and forth. I am trying to learn how to keep happiness in my life and in my Wifes life as we deal with prejudice at work and from our parents. We want to last and for happiness to flourish in our marriage.
recently I saw this presentation in a college class and it really surprise me, it talks about issues that people don't want to talk about because of ignorance, because of the lack of exposure. I'm glad that there is people in the world that are trying to communicate a better message, a message of understanding, sharing a secret with all people. My question is where can I get this presentation?
Just wanted to say that this video "outed" me to my family in a way. I only saw part of it when it aired on PBS during pledge week so I sent some money so I could get a copy. When it arrived, the video's title was printed on the outer shipping label! I totally freaked, thinking my whole family had already seen it, so I came out. Turns out, no one had even noticed the label! I can laugh about it now, realizing it was just the kick in the pants I needed. Otherwise, I might still be in the closet.
That's a great story. Thanks for sharing it. I'm told that the folks who initially distributed my first DVD "On Being Gay" also distributed one on opera, and that occasionally people who ordered one got the other by mistake. That would be an unwelcomed coming out too. "Oh, Mom, you'll love this program on opera I just got in the mail."
LOL! "Oh my, we always knew you loved show tunes, Jimmy, but opera too?! Now, you give that big metal brassiere and horned helmet back to your sister!" Seriously though, I really want to commend you on the work you do. We need more articulate, eloquent speakers like you to help educate the public on gay issues. I loaned my copy of "Growing Up Gay" to a PFLAG group a few years ago, and it was a huge hit. Several straight people said to me, "I never really thought about it like that before..."
gayscififan, you are a homosexual. Don't shy from it. We don't mind. We can adress you as a spiritual variation just like a racial or linguistic variation. I am lesbian and Muslim. From Nigeria. There is no shame in being LGBT. At all. So try to be true to the nature of the soul that Allah gifted you. Take care.
Thanks for the sentiments. I'm NOT ashamed of being gay. Not anymore. I was for the first 25 years of my life, but then I finally realized it was the rest of the world that had a problem, not me. My experiences as described in my previous comments simply show how detrimental society's attitudes toward homosexuality can be to a person's soul. I don't play that game anymore.
Well that makes two of us. All my life, I knew that I was somehow special inside. I have a special feeling about a woman, not a man. In my islamic culture, this is forbidden and this is not good. It is punishable by death in the Northern states that operate under sharia law. Women who are lesbian or bisexual can be gang raped and set on fire.
gays are the only minority whoes family isn't the same minority. i mean african americans get a hard time but they have their family to take comforit in. gays only have themselve and if their luck other gay friends
there's so many atheists now of days lol it's really not that big a deal. and you can keep that a secret from your parents and it wouldn't really affect your life that much
Times have changed. There was a poll held in the 1950s where the vast majority held that the greatest threats to society were atheists and homosexuals. Of course, in those days, atheists were equated with communists.
Thank you. I told an interviewer today that though things have improved for young gay people because of the advances we have made in our efforts to create a safer and more-affirming world for them, many teenage gay boys and lesbian girls are still struggling with the hope that they'll maintain the love of their parents and all others whose opinions they value and whose love they need.
I was crying too hard when I posted the last comment so I am elaborating now. I am a few years younger than you, and can totally relate to what you said. Now I am a teacher who sponsers a GSA at my school and it stuns me to see kids being so gutsy about being open. Thanks for a great video and good cry.
I celebrate your tears with you. Thank you for sharing them with me. It's the very best gift I'll be given today. Thank you too for your hard work in supporting the students in your school. Please tell them that I'm cheering for them.
thanks. I was wondering if I could use this video (the youtube one) in my gay straight alliance meeting. I think it would be a good discussion starter for a meeting.
Thank you. I'm grateful that it is being used so widely as an educational tool in churches, schools, and businesses. Putting a face on the issue -- whatever the issue -- is the best way of helping others understand the journey. My new book "Are You Guys Brothers?" seeks to do the same.
Im 16 years old. And its hard dealing with alot of emotions as it is with all the hormones and leaving school and all that stuff. But finding out I wasnt straight definatly added on to the pressure of trying to grow up. I agree with everyone whos commented. That was very touching.
It makes me really happy that we have come to a place in our history where young gay people can find affirmation if only on the Internet. Each of us who puts a face on the issue, regardless of our age, makes it easier for others to find their way and trust that their lives can be can be as happy as they choose them to be.
I found this video extremely touching. Being gay myself, I can relate to all the fear that you described so very well. Thinking back to it gets me kind of teary eyed. It's not often someone has a literal and very real fear of not being loved.
Thank you. Your tears are not uncommon. Often when I take an audience through the guided imagery of growing up with a secret that they're afraid to share, I look out and see the gay participants wiping away tears. Our tears are testimony to the fear and loneliness many of us felt, but also a reminder that we survived and grew strong.
Its things like this that make me wanna come out...and I want to...even though im 19...I dont want it to be the kinda thing where everyone goes well...DUHHH!!!
That 2-door example was so strong that it almost made me weep. Still.. there was no number two where i grew up with, it didnt have so many definitions. Gay was pretty much a synonym for sex between two men, and nothing more. At no point did i associate the emotional feelings with being gay... rather it was just a close-bond(even remember asking GOd to give me a man if not a woman *gasp), nothing more. It wasnt until l8er that friend and 'crushes' became distinct. And even l8er that it was gay.
I didn't experience the two-door option either. It was door Number One or Death. It is a great testimpny to the human spirit that we each found joy on our own.
He's a powerful and so truthful in his convictions.....and so true.....
iamthegame09 1 year ago
Slanted speaker ugh
uwishuweremeable 1 year ago
@uwishuweremeable so was martin luther king. real drag init!
poolerboy0077 10 months ago
He's a great speaker, and he makes an important point: the biggest problem a lot of young gays face isn't bullying or put-downs, but confusion and a sense of isolation and inferiority. Definitely tough growing up gay, whether you're in a rural or urban environment. Thanks for uploading.
goodbyepork 1 year ago
excellent speaker
shloopy5 1 year ago
Puberty is 'discovery'. US 'GAY'S' were BORN THAT WAY, PERIOD. If anyone says something different, then, they're 'BRAINWASHED'".
Celie3678 1 year ago
Puberty is 'discovery'.
Celie3678 1 year ago
Amen. I'm still trying to this day to get 'acceptance' from my own Father. I've even had my neck broken by HIM. I've since forgiven him, but..... OMG.
Celie3678 1 year ago
Fantastic video!
llTomlll 1 year ago
i knew i was lesbian when i was 8 but didnt really show it until i was about 14. i think every gay. lesbian. and bisexual person needs more people like this
bribrisbabygirl 1 year ago
this should be should in every country.
get educated...
orientation and moral are diff things....
RonLarhz 1 year ago
Very good - thank you!
deSales64 2 years ago
Wish my dad was as forward thinking as this guy. Keep up the good work you are doing a great job.
ouTandAbOut231 2 years ago
I knew I had gay feelings at about age 5. though I didn't pursue it till I was about 13 so I can see how science would get that round about number.
ouTandAbOut231 2 years ago 6
Your recollections are consistent with most gay people I know. We have an awareness at an early age of our attractions are able to name it at around 13. Data reflects our reports of awareness and adds information on the age when we are able to think in abstract terms, the age in which we develop language skills, the age at which most characteristics and behaviors seem to be set, etc. Gay men are generally aware of feelings around 11 but act out on those feelings usually a couple of years later.
bmcnaught 2 years ago
@bmcnaught me and my identical twin brother knew we had STRONG feeling for males at 5 years old, and this sounds strange for people i think. I was never molested, in fact i never kissed my first boy until i was 18... but i had deep powerful feelings for them most of my childhood as well as my adulthood, and so did my brother...
RodTalon0000 1 year ago
We need more people like him.
Zia810417 2 years ago 7
"And you'll find Johnny Mathis." LOL!!!!!!
SylvanaForrester 2 years ago 3
I love the video! Thank you so much.
aklyl 2 years ago 2
Happy birthday. I hope you enjoyed the gift.
bmcnaught 2 years ago
Your speeches are very powerful and well said. The world needs much more people like you around. I once heard someone say: "If you think twice, you will be the genius of your family." and I think that if people think twice about homosexuality, the world would be a better place.
Disturbed3650 2 years ago 5
Thank you. I agree that thinking is required to get past our fears, but it helps to have accurate information to think about. That's why those of us who have experienced the truth need to share it with others.
bmcnaught 2 years ago
I do understand your feelings of loneliness. Can you imagine yourself living someplace where who you are would be celebrated, not tolerated? Make it happen.
bmcnaught 2 years ago
I had those feelings my entire life i thought sexuallity was a choice and when i realized it was time to accept those feelings if felt like i became gay so did everyone else they made me wish i wasn't here. I had girls programed into my head and wished i had understand waht it meant. It sucks here where I live everyone hates me makeing me wish i was like them but i am not and you seem to understand what i went though almost exactly thank you for understanding that.
AiRbenderg2 2 years ago 2
thankyou for making this video, i am an out lesbian, and i am 13 years old. almost 14. i have known since i was arond 9. i love how these videos tell the straight people and help them understand
TrinityBloodRox 2 years ago 3
I'm glad that you like the videos. I hope that you are getting the loving support that you deserve.
bmcnaught 2 years ago
I am moving from NY to FL to live with my partner. We have been together for a long time living apart and visiting back and forth. I am trying to learn how to keep happiness in my life and in my Wifes life as we deal with prejudice at work and from our parents. We want to last and for happiness to flourish in our marriage.
chell86 2 years ago 2
Best of luck to you. I hope you both a long and happy life together :-)
bobby472 2 years ago
recently I saw this presentation in a college class and it really surprise me, it talks about issues that people don't want to talk about because of ignorance, because of the lack of exposure. I'm glad that there is people in the world that are trying to communicate a better message, a message of understanding, sharing a secret with all people. My question is where can I get this presentation?
giostoria 3 years ago
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bensonqt99 3 years ago
Just wanted to say that this video "outed" me to my family in a way. I only saw part of it when it aired on PBS during pledge week so I sent some money so I could get a copy. When it arrived, the video's title was printed on the outer shipping label! I totally freaked, thinking my whole family had already seen it, so I came out. Turns out, no one had even noticed the label! I can laugh about it now, realizing it was just the kick in the pants I needed. Otherwise, I might still be in the closet.
gayscififan 3 years ago 2
That's a great story. Thanks for sharing it. I'm told that the folks who initially distributed my first DVD "On Being Gay" also distributed one on opera, and that occasionally people who ordered one got the other by mistake. That would be an unwelcomed coming out too. "Oh, Mom, you'll love this program on opera I just got in the mail."
bmcnaught 3 years ago
LOL! "Oh my, we always knew you loved show tunes, Jimmy, but opera too?! Now, you give that big metal brassiere and horned helmet back to your sister!" Seriously though, I really want to commend you on the work you do. We need more articulate, eloquent speakers like you to help educate the public on gay issues. I loaned my copy of "Growing Up Gay" to a PFLAG group a few years ago, and it was a huge hit. Several straight people said to me, "I never really thought about it like that before..."
gayscififan 3 years ago
gayscififan, you are a homosexual. Don't shy from it. We don't mind. We can adress you as a spiritual variation just like a racial or linguistic variation. I am lesbian and Muslim. From Nigeria. There is no shame in being LGBT. At all. So try to be true to the nature of the soul that Allah gifted you. Take care.
eviltreemonster 3 years ago 2
Thanks for the sentiments. I'm NOT ashamed of being gay. Not anymore. I was for the first 25 years of my life, but then I finally realized it was the rest of the world that had a problem, not me. My experiences as described in my previous comments simply show how detrimental society's attitudes toward homosexuality can be to a person's soul. I don't play that game anymore.
gayscififan 3 years ago 3
Well that makes two of us. All my life, I knew that I was somehow special inside. I have a special feeling about a woman, not a man. In my islamic culture, this is forbidden and this is not good. It is punishable by death in the Northern states that operate under sharia law. Women who are lesbian or bisexual can be gang raped and set on fire.
eviltreemonster 3 years ago 3
gays are the only minority whoes family isn't the same minority. i mean african americans get a hard time but they have their family to take comforit in. gays only have themselve and if their luck other gay friends
shadowfox0900 3 years ago 16
There's another minority, atheists. Most of them were raised in theistic households.
BeatBuddy 3 years ago 2
there's so many atheists now of days lol it's really not that big a deal. and you can keep that a secret from your parents and it wouldn't really affect your life that much
dohchicken 3 years ago
Times have changed. There was a poll held in the 1950s where the vast majority held that the greatest threats to society were atheists and homosexuals. Of course, in those days, atheists were equated with communists.
BeatBuddy 3 years ago
@shadowfox0900 And if you were raised in a 12,000 town like me, congratulations, you are fucked up. I'm happy I've moved and came out.
TheAlfur 6 days ago
Wise words indeed, and very touching.
NarcissaNocturne 3 years ago
Thank you. I told an interviewer today that though things have improved for young gay people because of the advances we have made in our efforts to create a safer and more-affirming world for them, many teenage gay boys and lesbian girls are still struggling with the hope that they'll maintain the love of their parents and all others whose opinions they value and whose love they need.
bmcnaught 3 years ago
I was crying too hard when I posted the last comment so I am elaborating now. I am a few years younger than you, and can totally relate to what you said. Now I am a teacher who sponsers a GSA at my school and it stuns me to see kids being so gutsy about being open. Thanks for a great video and good cry.
dsc999 3 years ago 3
I celebrate your tears with you. Thank you for sharing them with me. It's the very best gift I'll be given today. Thank you too for your hard work in supporting the students in your school. Please tell them that I'm cheering for them.
bmcnaught 3 years ago
thanks. I was wondering if I could use this video (the youtube one) in my gay straight alliance meeting. I think it would be a good discussion starter for a meeting.
dsc999 3 years ago
This is a great video.
dsc999 3 years ago
Thank you. I'm grateful that it is being used so widely as an educational tool in churches, schools, and businesses. Putting a face on the issue -- whatever the issue -- is the best way of helping others understand the journey. My new book "Are You Guys Brothers?" seeks to do the same.
bmcnaught 3 years ago
Im 16 years old. And its hard dealing with alot of emotions as it is with all the hormones and leaving school and all that stuff. But finding out I wasnt straight definatly added on to the pressure of trying to grow up. I agree with everyone whos commented. That was very touching.
BexBullet 3 years ago
It makes me really happy that we have come to a place in our history where young gay people can find affirmation if only on the Internet. Each of us who puts a face on the issue, regardless of our age, makes it easier for others to find their way and trust that their lives can be can be as happy as they choose them to be.
bmcnaught 3 years ago
I found this video extremely touching. Being gay myself, I can relate to all the fear that you described so very well. Thinking back to it gets me kind of teary eyed. It's not often someone has a literal and very real fear of not being loved.
You nailed it. Thanks for spreading the word.
caughtindream 3 years ago 3
Thank you. Your tears are not uncommon. Often when I take an audience through the guided imagery of growing up with a secret that they're afraid to share, I look out and see the gay participants wiping away tears. Our tears are testimony to the fear and loneliness many of us felt, but also a reminder that we survived and grew strong.
bmcnaught 3 years ago
Its things like this that make me wanna come out...and I want to...even though im 19...I dont want it to be the kinda thing where everyone goes well...DUHHH!!!
NightfallIV 3 years ago 2
That 2-door example was so strong that it almost made me weep. Still.. there was no number two where i grew up with, it didnt have so many definitions. Gay was pretty much a synonym for sex between two men, and nothing more. At no point did i associate the emotional feelings with being gay... rather it was just a close-bond(even remember asking GOd to give me a man if not a woman *gasp), nothing more. It wasnt until l8er that friend and 'crushes' became distinct. And even l8er that it was gay.
leojboby 3 years ago
I didn't experience the two-door option either. It was door Number One or Death. It is a great testimpny to the human spirit that we each found joy on our own.
bmcnaught 3 years ago