Study: Alzheimer's Patients Say They Do Not Have Alzheimer's

[DarthSolid9]

its crazy how many people are taking this vid serious. Chances are an Alzheimers patient wont know they have it. And they said their kids were at home alone.... DURRRRR their kids would be mid or late adults by now.

[JackMLopez]

I may have alzheimers, but at least I don't have alzheimers

[orrgla]

SEE THIS PROVES IT!!! THIS IS WHY OBAMACARE IS NOT NECESSARY AND IM GLAD SOME SCIENTISTS FINALLY STEPPED UP TO EXPOSE THE TRUTH!!! THIS IS WHY WE NEED NEWT TO COME AND KEEP THE FEDS AWAY FROM MY MEDICARE!!!!!!1!

[OrisaOko]

Wait, Alzheimer's actually makes me sad because my grandparents had it...is something wrong with me?

[meganblivin1]

does anyone read the subtitles ? lmao

[scrogg93]

morris wilcox 0:35 looks like he is Pres Bush

[WatchSocietyBurn]

who fucking cares if alzheimers is "REAL AND SERIOUS!!!" Humans arent supposed to live to be 100 fucking years old, i would rather die at 35 than live to be 90, and have my brain slowly degenerate to nothing and i have to have someone wipe the shit from the crack of my ass. WHEN SOMETHING OUTLASTS ITS USEFULNESS YOU GET RID OF IT, THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE WHEN THAT THING IS YOURSELF. people are too bent on survival these days and its fucking pathetic. STOP BURDENING OTHERS, YOUVE HAD YOUR TIME.

[finka123456]

@WatchSocietyBurn not all people degenerate moron...at least not in the mind..most people who live to 100 are actually functional

[WatchSocietyBurn]

@finka123456 lol r u retarded? if u call functional sleeping more than half the day and breaking 5 bones when u fall a pithy 2 feet. humans are the only animals that live past the age of their teeth, which means we are outliving our own usefulness

[WatchSocietyBurn]

@finka123456 but anyway u must be right seeing as they dont degenerate when they get a degenerative disease.

[finka123456]

@WatchSocietyBurn was not talking wbout people with alalzheimers im talking about those who live to 100

[WatchSocietyBurn]

@finka123456 o ya tru they can be functional then i guess

[tachikoma747]

@WatchSocietyBurn how old are you?

[WatchSocietyBurn]

@tachikoma747 19 and you?

[tachikoma747]

@WatchSocietyBurn 25. Hopefully when you're in your 50s, you'll want to live a long and healthy life. :)

[poposao1]

@WatchSocietyBurn dude,my father got a rare case of alzhiemer and he got it with 56 years old

[sivret20]

Sometimes I just laugh at the titles of the Onion videos.

[JeffEven27]

1. Simmer down.

2. Alzheimer's is real.

3. It runs in my family and I am almost guaranteed to get it. I laughed at this. Take a joke.

[poposao1]

...alzheimer is a serious thing, 3 ppl on my family died from alzheimer...stop joking about that...

[TheYouwontgetit]

@poposao1 ...this is fake news you dumbass... ...there is no such thing as alzheimers...

[TheLtmusic]

@TheYouwontgetit lol....refusing to believe in alzheimers?

[TheYouwontgetit]

@TheLtmusic ...well i just already chose a religion, sorry...

[poposao1]

@TheYouwontgetit U FUCKING DUMBASS!!! I KNOW THE JORNAL IS FAKE, BUT ALZIEMER IS A REAL DESEASE AND ITS REALLY SERIOUS

[TheYouwontgetit]

@poposao1 ...yeah right... ...it's satire you flatfuck...

[poposao1]

@TheYouwontgetit omg!!!ur so ignorant!!!how old r u ? 8?!?!?

[knuckles91444]

@poposao1 lol this isn't real you know. how can someone believe alzheimers is actually a real thing?

[poposao1]

@knuckles91444 dude...I don't know if your trolling,or just the dumbest person in teh world!!!!

[eyeYQ2]

bull shit

[Mankindfails]

I didnt even knew we invented cold fusion ... American imperialist thugs wont let us use it anyways :-(

[cabooses1fan]

i may have Alzheimer's but at least i dont have Alzheimer's

[EuchridEucrow1]

The best part about Alzheimer's is getting to meet new people every day...in the mirror.

[annewilken]

They forgot. Didn't even watch. Still giggling over a stupider (sure it's a word, stupider). Now with some discipline, I'm going to get back to what I should be doing. Good laugh! That counts as productive.

[CloverCreekProject]

We are a band at Duke University using music to support Alzheimer's research. Donate $2.50 to the Alzheimer's Association and you receive our full 4-song EP including 'A Beautiful Life'- a meaningful song about coping with Alzheimer's.

Support the cause at CloverCreekProject dotcom !!!

[AvalonJoyous666]

LMMFAO!!! Especially the end where they were just wheeling them out then walking away lmao

[wisewarriormuzic]

AHAHAHA they pushed the patients out the fuckin door

[TrevorCakes]

I may have Alzheimer's but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

[BenP574]

GLAHHHGHH



[DerekBurn]

yes it is still breakfast.

[daltonplaysthesax]

Altzheimer's patients are always funny. I want a fallow up story. I want to know how that meeting with President Truman went.

[HeiHolaHello]

Okay, this wasn't funny.

[WilliamHardigan]

@HeiHolaHello Oh, but it was.

[HeiHolaHello]

@WilliamHardigan It's my opinion. I don't think people should make jokes about people with alzheimers, and you should respect that.

[WilliamHardigan]

@HeiHolaHello It's my opinion that you're an idiot and you need to get that stick out of your ass. You should respect that.

[anonymousman555]

@HeiHolaHello It's stupid people like you that is turning the world into a toilet.

[snowblind1985]

knock knock

whos there

dave

dave who?

dave was fighting back his tears as he realized his mother's alzheimer's was getting worse

[VitalHealthProducts]

To try to shrink that gap, Dr. Kristine Yaffe of the University of California, San Francisco and colleagues gave an overnight sleep apnea test to 298 women…

I try now trough this way as they take out the real important movies… mmmm.?!

No links allowed,… so search for; “Nasivent prevent Alzheimer” …

It’s real good to know…

[GKid51892]

Doc: "I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this GKiD, but I'm afraid you have Alzheimer's Disease...."

Me: "You're not my son..."

Doc: ..."Huh?...I'm sorry, I don't under---

Me: "Glaaaahhhhh..."

[silverwurm]

110 people are late for a meeting with Harry Truman.

[Berzerkerevl]

life is horrible. we're all born doomed and horrible things will happen to us. so why not make fun of bad things.

[Lojkovic]

@Berzerkerevl Good question.

[Killur10]

A message to Youtube. Michelle Bachmann is no longer in New Hampshire, she came and went almost like that hurricane off the coast of Maine and Canada last year, except less people cared.

[Nagisa1100]

Glaghhhh

[manrayer88]

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb

to get to the other side

[vjm3]

"You're not my son."

Oh god I can't breath.

[TheTortugaTanker]

Attention audience,

The first day of August 2011, it is going to be declared as National Alzheimer's Awareness Month.

It was actually supposed to be observed in June but we kinda forgot.

[ReneJohnMusic]

I car for them and I wrote a song on you tube Rene's Song "I'LL Carry You!!!!!!!God bless

[MilesPwn]

78% - No

10% - No, you aren't my son

7% - It's my Birthday

5% - GLAHHHGHH

[theo9449]

i like the other answers more

[colinjrob1]

5% GLLLAAAGGH... rofl.

[EpicMedic]

110 people were their son.

[sameeeeeeeeerrr]

110 people forgot to hit like

[bossyboots55]

my mother was diagnosed with alz. we dont r eceive any help and arent rich enough to put her in a good home. so if we didnt have a sense of humour we'd all go mad. as it is sometimes i feel I am going mad. so dotn feel guilty if we make jokes sometimes. its not wrong. dont be so insensitive

[farneyblakeley]

@bossyboots55 it sounds like your mother is in a good home

[bossyboots55]

@bossyboots55

thank you.

[shortnr]

@HoigeyBoobsLOL

Are you, in fact, aware that you have Ecoli in your intestines?

[jester3454]

damn, america is low on toner?

[HoigeyBoobsLOL]

my grandma has Alzheimer's and i find this casual joking about it really offensive. would you joke about cancer? or ecoli? this disease is, in a way, even more sad and distressing.

[recneps96]

@HoigeyBoobsLOL I'm pretty sure they have done both :|

[TheOmnipotentPirate]

@HoigeyBoobsLOL I'm so sorry this offended you, but until you find some damage this video has caused that isn't somebodies feelings, I'm just not going to care. I'm sure the video didn't harm your grandma in any way. People getting offended always causes more damage than harmless comedy does.

[sabasado]

@HoigeyBoobsLOL my own father has cancer, and yes, I joke about the illness.

[TheLuigiRocks]

@HoigeyBoobsLOL

My mom has cancer and I friggin lol'ed at the video where Onion joked about how knowing someone with cancer improves your health.

I don't even know how it can offend you, you must be one hell of a wimp to have your emotions hurt that bad BY TH INTERNET.

[HoigeyBoobsLOL]

@TheLuigiRocks SORRY

[05lowell05]

@HoigeyBoobsLOL,

The Onion already has an episode where it joked about Cancer. So yes, they would.

[LoveNeden]

i don't have...what? I forgot what I was talking about.

[candygrl122]

Wait, is this serious or a joke?

[MrClaytable]

@candygrl122 its totally 100% real... duh

[cloudpaw]

@candygrl122 It's a joke. The network is made up of 100% fake stuff

[candygrl122]

@cloudpaw figures

[ZhangtheGreat]

107 people...wait, you are not my son!

[Icy6222]

watched this 5 times and made me laugh everytime!

[Icy6222]

this one made me laugh so hard lol xD

[TheIheartdog]

NO.

You Aren't my Son

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

GLAHHGHH!.......<WTF this is what 5% said.

Vary funny!

[CrazedNovaProduction]

We will never leave, untill this tea kettle is boiled! Ding-Dong! Karate!

[jayblob716]

My grandmother who I loved very much died of alzheimers a little less than 2 years ago, and this made me lol in my pants.

[via321ful]

this is a joke, right?

[ThaDrasje]

@via321ful I've No idea, I hope it is...

[8soccer4life8]

search gandi bandi

[bigt12345100]

yes people who have alzheimer's dont remember they have it so they will say they dont duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[WereBrooklynAt]

0:49 like a zombie:$

[SammytheStampede]

I work with Alzheimers patients. Some of them are nicer than the the people on the outside. I know this is a joke, but jeez, these people can't help themselves....

[ImSoJohnDeleted]

my grandma was sick with alzhiemers but im not offended by this video

[3Axy10Est13]

I was at a gas station and some old lady came up to me calling me Paul, She thought i was her son, i was creeped out. But then i felt bad.

[sociopathpsych]

I'm in nursing school and work at a nursing home. Of course we have patients with Alzheimer's. I find this video HILARIOUS! Nearly fell out of my chair!

[DeviousBetrayer]

Prostitution should be made legal.

[undertyped1]

glaughaghhh

[AresExodus]

Doctor: Sir, im sorry to say you have a malignant cancer tumor.

Patient: No!

Doctor: Im afraid you also have Alzheimer's disease.

Patient: That sucks! But at least I don't have cancer.

[skillcosby88]

@AresExodus gilbert gottfried?

[geradwaylover11]

koolo

[drinkycrow67]

im not an alcoholic

[anythingnew]

LMFAO they shove them out the door

[rodzon18th]

My grandma died the night before my district championship football game cause of alzheimers but I'm not hurt by this video it was made for laughs btw we won 52-14

[iColorado303]

@rodzon18th cool story bro

[LocoGroove]

@rodzon18th Cool story bro

[xxFightxMExx]

@rodzon18th cool story bro

[vv0mp]

@rodzon18th

52-0 would've been better to honour your G-Ma with, bro.

[WalterStudiosPro]

@rodzon18th sure is a cool story bro

[reodk]

I know this is meant to be funny but come on ? really this is fucked up

[StitchedMusik]

:52 --> :54

xD

[MidnightRambler13]

That man is gonna be late for his meeting with President Truman

[Ninstroyer]

Oh my god. TheOnion news gets me EVERY TIME!!!!!! I think it's real and I'm like, "O_O" and then I'm like, ">_> fail be to me."

[WestonVonWellington]

My grandmother has Alzheimer's and I even found this funny. Some people just need to lighten up and learn how to take a joke.

"death smiles upon us all, the only thing we can do is smile back"

[crazymonkeyconnor]

@WestonVonWellington I know my grandmother died of it but I still find it funny aswell, is that bad ? :L

[shadowguard60]

@crazymonkeyconnor you monster

[saints360row]

@WestonVonWellington -Congratulations on the 69 thumbs up. ;-) And if you thought this was funny you'll love George Carlin; his philosophy is anything can be funny if the joke is told right.

[911toothache]

i love how they just shove the wheelchair people out the door.. :P

[slayman123]

Dude "onion news" should replace "weasel news" on GTA !

[Brandon33akahk]

this guy looks different in every video

[konanwahoo]

cmon someone die in someway anyway, just enjoy the comedy

[zleverette]

5%= glahhhgh!!

[sweetlolitacookies]

hmmm...thats not funny my dad died of Alzheimer's last year. I was only 14

[snakedemon11]

@sweetlolitacookies Yeah, I worry for my grandpa alot, i kno they are just trying to be funny, but sometimes it hits too close to home.

[Puglous]

@snakedemon11

You should have known it would "hit too close to home" for you just by the title.

[espark1089]

@sweetlolitacookies oooh you mean its not funny to you then...

[DirtyyMike]

Alzheimer's is great, new pussy every night

[maru14able]

Aw that's not funny

[420fury]

(exact quote from the clip we all just watched then put lol or xD like a imbred toothless hillbilly)

[dude3390]

"Glahhhghghg" LOL

[songster117]

If you ever suffer from Alzheimers or have a loved one who does, there is hope. If you want to know more detail about Nita Scoggan's story you can go to nitascoggan.comand hear her story. Hope this helps

[dandyfireable]

@Popularitycontestant 1st i'm a girl. 2nd I'm only 13. 3rd I can't find anything funny because my mom passed away

[jorgeasalas]

Conspiracy proven....Memory is store in to places in the brain and it also is in spirit. This is done because we humans now live a physical life and only a few people in the world remember just by will

And not by brain matter.

[mrcomedy454]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!

ROFL AT 0:52 !!!!!

I could not stop fucking laughing when I saw that.

[joey22306]

@mrcomedy454 Man me too!! lol

[scienceper4]

this is the best milkshake ad i have ever seen

[dandyfireable]

umm it wasn't hilarious. I know it's satire but my grandma has it so I hope she feels better.

P E A C E

[RadioactiveBoar]

@dandyfireable My grandfather has Alzheimer's as well. I found it hilarious. It's not the actual news that's hilarious (the opposite), it's the dumb fucks that tell it.

[Popularitycontestant]

@dandyfireable You, sir, are what is wrong with this anal retentive,politically correct, mockery of a nation we have. Go ingest some Hobos dick cheese please.

[kittykatro]

only in America something like this can happen!

[YourSocialCommentary]

@kittykatro

...

[Kesh789]

they did one for cancer to

[Ikymay]

alzheimer suck because it makes you forget things, shake, get older faster, forget things, and forget things, thats why parkinson sucks

[Awesomeduud]

5% Gahhhh XD

[piip4]

What was this video about again?

[eatmytool1]

@piip4 who are you?

[Unguidedone]

@piip4 i have the same problem

[Amazonwarrior777]

How many Alzhemiemers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side!

[garynewman112]

@Amazonwarrior777 I DO not get it please explain?

[PumaOPumaOPumaO]

@garynewman112

Alzheimer's makes you forget things...

[ezramcmahon]

@Amazonwarrior777 alzheimers isnt brain dyslexia, this joke is retarded.

[Amazonwarrior777]

@ezramcmahon ?

[toybox1908]

Hey, this is the Onion News Network, their catchphrase is "We do it for teh lulz!" So can it and let the rest of the world lawl in peace.

[crystallyx]

0:03

[mozzrt]

Yes it is to be cured. IT IS NOT AN ILLNESS, it is chemical poisoning! ALL HUMANS IN THE WESTERN WORLD are more or less suffering from Alzheimers. I HAVE SEEN NUMEROUS CASES; COMPLETELY CURED; WHEN STAYING AWAY FROM CHEMICALS! Try this: Take your mom/dad to a 'living food' home, where electrosmog isn't allowed. If they only use ecological stuff, THEY WILL BE dramatically improved IN 3-5 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT GOES FOR MANY SEVERE CASES OF AUTISM, ADHD also! Diabetes2 disappears COMPLETELY.

[S3bz3r0]

@mozzrt who sent you? PETA?

[mozzrt]

@S3bz3r0 Listen I have seen fantastic improvements in so many, my dad got it many years ago, in 1999 he was certified, just 4 months ago he was inellectually clear as could be. Then he got into an old folks home, and I can't go there with real food, so he has been more demented in 4r months already than in the last 12 years. Why do you think I post it for? Can anyone make money on EcoFood? I live in Sweden btw, and the situation is almost as bad as in US and UK there. Panic disorder is easycured

[S3bz3r0]

@mozzrt I do believe chemicals are extremely bad shit for the body and the brain, but besides hunting in the woods, what's ''real food''?

[mozzrt]

@S3bz3r0 Everything not poisoned ed with cemicals and insectpoisons and stay away fr pastorized/homogenized milk products. Thats about it. A MacDonald Burger has 600% more BS in it today than it had in the 70s..All coúntries where that kind of crap is little used, áre blessed from ADHD, Alzheimer etc. And the Amish ppl hasVERYVERY little thigs like that.

[scythian0528]

@mozzrt Pasteurization cannot cause harm, despite what nonsense you claim.

It's also illegal in the United States, (which most people on the internet are from), to sell or import unpasteurized food.

[mozzrt]

@scythian0528 I've studied this for 25 years and my dad got his Alzheimers diagnose 1983, and just because I knew how to do, it never got worse. Pasorized milk hasn'tdamaged us before but it does NOW, because chemiclas in our food makes sensitive to gluten and milksugar. ALL lactosallergics can drink unpasorized milk. Dont speak when you are ignorant. I suppose your part of FDA/satan/BigPharma/BigBurger/­ChemIndustries. Just you wait, you will get what is coming to you...

[scythian0528]

@mozzrt

"because chemiclas in our food makes sensitive to gluten and milksugar"

Food doesn't work the way you think it does.

"ALL lactosallergics can drink unpasorized milk." Lactose intolerant? No. Lactose digestion is made possible by an enzyme naturally produced in the stomach. There are artificial enzymes in powder/pill form for lactose intolerant people and milk with lactose extracted, but pasteurization isn't relevant at all.

"I suppose your part of" Pro-science actually.

[scythian0528]

@mozzrt You're an idiot.

[spencerchef]

Land of the Dead

With old people

[lanbir]

Hey! My grandma had Alzheimer's, and SHE ate a big chinchilla. Fucking horses!

[gdhuertas07]

I am so going to Hell for laughing at this one.