I understand, what you're talking about. I was always called an oreo because I never spoke ibonics, & in Los Angeles, especially Crenshaw, the last thing you want to advertise is how well you speak. My mother is Jamaican and she didn't brook any type of ibonics (ghetto speech), so I always spoke properly and because of that I got made fun of until I got to college. I'm happy someone asked you this question and I'm happy you shared your response with us, you're a really blessed individual. ;p
poor you. I'm Haitian and I totally understand your struggle with people calling you white. I'm sure your Haitian roommate did not meant any harm. Haitian tend to call black women white if they have long long hair or if the texture is curly or very wavy.
Thank you for this video. Some things we learn (or don't learn) as children carry over into adulthood. I myself have a lot of acquaintances, very few friends (2-3). FOCUS is key here, and not on what others think of you, but on what you WANT in your life! Only allow positive things! Until you are able to maintain your own positive energy!
@Naptural85 I totally understand. I experinced some of the same issues growing up. Being called a "White Girl" because my parents taught me proper english. I never understood that? I refused to dumb myself down to make other people feel comfortable. Some black people who are ignorant,insecure or intimidated by our intellegence will try to pull our "Black Card" if we dont fit into their idea of a typical black male or female. I refuse to entertain that foolishness!
I've been called 'white' continuously too, even by members of my own family. And I actually used to accept it. I also used to accept being the 'weirdo' and the 'awkward one,' but since college I've learned to ignore all that and just call myself 'Me.' Because that's exactly who I am.
Thank God for good friends and a sound mind. We're all beautiful.
Also don't constantly compare yourself to others. It's the path to disaster and depression. Measure up to YOU NOT anyone else.That's my life lesson. :-)
cont....meeting people from other countries! I have been talked white too hahaha. But I love me. Took me awhile to get here (and I still battle this sometimes. It sneaks up). Be wierd (well that's what some call it lol). Be interesting. Forget these folks. Be you!!!!
I see what you mean. I grew up in an all Black town and went to an all Black highschool. Then I went to college to study art. So much opened up to me. I learned alot. I got to hang around people of different races. Also learned about diff music. Got to try diff foods. It was a good thing that I did go to that school and meet so many amazing people...black, white, asian, indian, etc. It made me who I amtoday! I enjoy so many wonderful things now. I love yoga, all kinds of art, musicals, traveling
Thank you so much for this video. Although I can't relate to everything you experienced, your story definitely touched me. I feel so inspired and motivated. Thank you!
I never understood why people say I sound white. Where I work, I have to speak with people all the time & black ppl say I sound white...because I pronounce my words the correct way. Anyway, I love your channel because I see myself in you. I'm 21 & my self esteem was low because of being molested when I was 11 & having my mother abandon me. I work hard and see my worth in my work. Lol blabbing on & on. But I like you & our personalities are a lot alike.
Another thing is be yourself, as cliche as it sounds. Once I started easing up and doing/saying how I really felt and not putting up a facade for fear of what others thought I began to feel better about myself. I wasn't hiding anymore. An positive consequence of being yourself is you begin to attract TRUE FRIENDS that really appreciate you and your unique POV.
WOW! your story is kinda similar to mine :D everybody in school called me oreo or thought that I wanted to be or act white by the way I talk or represented myself! thankfully no one calls me that anymore! I think your pretty luck to have a friend that you can relate to throughout school! I wish I had one :D instead I feel so lost and never really excepted, but I know that its just high school and I need to focus on myself! thanks a bunch!! :D <3
Great Video. I agree with Everything you've said. People have referred to me using that term growing up. They didn't see how it wasn't cool, but i kept my mouth shut. I recently split with my Perfectly Wonderful bf in order to find out who I am and where I'm going. He didn't get it and i wasn't able to explain myself but now that Iv'e seen this video i can explain it in a way he and others will understand. thank you
You're awesome, I hate when lazy people don't pronounce the "R". People, don't be prejudice against R, it's a wonderful letter and it deserves your respect.
Thank you...exactly what I needed to hear...you remind me so much of myself :-D...now I'm focusing on something (and I have a YouTube page for it too). You are a blessing to many! That includes me! *smiles* Thanks!
About a week ago I actually starting to write you a similar message but didn’t know how to ask. But yeah, you’re so lucky. I went through the same thing, but I was alone. I didn’t have a best friend. I’m trying my best, but it’s really hard.
Me too I never felt like I fit anywere . I have been called the whitest black girl . I was told I sound white Im like how do you sound white . Im always really Happy and Out going "I Love Me ". I accept me. Im just fine with that :O)
It takes alot to reveal our most vulnerable moments. I am glad that you overcame such a difficult time. Thank you for sharing. So many people need to hear this, especially the aspect of finding focus. Also, most of the amazing people in the world are somewhat quirky and different. Be well.
I adore you. I have a similar story. It's so great to be connected. Thank you for sharing your story. I will continue to share mine. Encourage. Inspire. Relate. LIVE. <3 La
I completely relate to this. I grew up in Kentucky and was teased for not being black enough and supposedly wanting to be white (not that there is anything wrong with being white) but it wasn't me. Thanks for sharing your story.
I had the same problem with being called white girl. I was in grade school... I was about 10 when it started. Bullying came along with it possibly because I was so tiny. I can definitely identify. But like you said after I started working on myself and accomplishing goals I'd set for myself; just focusing on me and and not being dependent on the opinions of others my self esteem reached all new highs.
This definitely made me reflect on how far I've come. Continue being an inspiration ^_^
omg i so know what you mean...i also grew up in Providence and lived in Boston during college and I got the same type of things said to me ALL THE TIME....I never spoke "black enough", I honestly just never let it bother me, it is what it is. Oprah speaks like me, so i'm GOOD.....great vid!
This really hit home... not because I didn't know but because I forgot I knew this all along... and to really take heed. Thanks for making this video this is truly a defining momment
You are God-sent. I JUST prayed about this EXACT struggle...and here you are. I sat in bed praising God for sending you my way. I literally had to pause the video..lol. I just had this epiphany about my life like 3 days ago, prayed about it, and boom, there you go- talking about my same exact phase in life. I actually just realized that I needed to focus on something and shut the world out (even though I've always known what it was). Thankyou for posting this video. :) Godbless you.
U have no idea how much I needed to hear this. Ty so much. I now feel inspired to prove myself to myself. "U need to get up get out and do something, don't let the days of your life pass by. U need to get up get out and do something, how will you make it if you never even try?"-Outkast....I believe lol
Thanks for adding this! This is going to help many young ladies. I received this also since high school and went to an African American university to fit in. I felt so alone until I learned to love myself. My ex-husband was white so black guys would start with saying she doesn't like black guys but I love whoever loves me. Thanks for opening up.
Hey Napturals! I was never the white girl but it is alot of things out there that I dont like that people think I should like because "I AM BLACK". But I am like you...I dont see race nor color what I do see is a human race that if we cant stop using the "black/white" thing we will be worse off than we are now.
OMG I was the white girl! But you know what, I taught my kids to speak and write well too. Being educated doesn't belong to any part ethnicity and maybe if more of us got that our children would be doing better and progressing further. Thank you for sharing.
Great Vid! Grew up in California and going to other states..talking the way I do.. I'd get the same thing. "White girl", "valley girl" - yeah, you're never black enough for some people.. I understand completely and thank GOD I grew out of the "caring what people think" phase. The thing that really did it for me was, after college being established in my career (I'm a Graphic Designer too!!), moving back home -- I could see that the "cool people" I grew up with didn't turnout to be so cool...
ah, the "why do you talk like a white girl" phrase i got it ALL THE TIME in elementary, i was so smitten by it i actually tried to force myself to talk "hood" lol. it was definitely something i took for granted and wished people said it to me now lol
could u give some advice for people trying to get their first apartment??
I was also labeled "white girl" because I talked proper and because of certain things I liked. But that was just me. My family just knew I was going to marry a white man but I didnt I married a haitian. I always had friends but with my family it was that label. But I know they loved me and I got over it cause its me. I am a proud black woman. I am sweet,loving caring ,honest and wise and smart and beautiful I am me. The way God made me and I am happy with ME!!!!!
I understand too. I'm not African-American but I do understand what it's like to be labeled. I'm in high school, and for a long time I've been labeled as "scary, homo, freak, fat ass," and many other things. I'm 5'7" tall and I weigh 255 pounds. the reason I said I get called "homo" is because I'm Bi-curious. believe me I know what you guys are going through. and I can tell you that having that confidence in yourself and in who you are is what makes everybody unique
Me 2, im in high school n everyone call me a white girl even doe im black. Dey call me an oreo. But I dnt let it get to me cuz I no who I am, n im not gunna change for nunthing. :)
Oh, gosh I have been labeled the "white girl" by everyone that I know for as long as I can remember, this video spoke to me in many different ways...especially because I just recently, about 2 months ago, I deactivated my Facebook account to focus on me and learn to love myself and grow as a person and distance myself from people who will only hinder me from my goals, watching this video is just confirmation that I am on the right path, THANKS!
I had the same exact store. I was also was call the black girl who act white. & I also study graphic design. For me i also cut myself off from the world & let go of myself. for me it was eating the things i also want to (i was a dancer in high school so I didn't eat bread & soda cause it makes me gain weight) although i gain weight i began to love me w/out the knowing i was just sexy to the opposite sex.So now i'm comfortable in my own skin & style w/ out think about how people see me.
I can relate to your struggle. I remember growing up my parents wanted me to get the proper education and do well in life, even in elementary school. I was the black girl who talked and act white. I loved to read and learn different things and I still do. I am still that little black girl fascinated by science and computers. And I use to get called names and it hurt, but I never let it changed me even now that I am in college. I will continue my goals and love myself.
I can TOTALLY relate to everything you said in the video. I'm Nigerian, came over the U.S at 11- was "too African" because of my accent. Accent wore off & I became "too white" for the black kids but not white enuff for the white kids. I was the only black kid in my AP classes etc. The first time I felt that I belonged in this country was when I went away to college- ivy league school, but even then I felt that a lot of black students were trying to prove their blackness to each other, LOL.
I agree with all said. I actually had a very similar experience to yours growing up. I was the only black student at my elementary school for years! When I entered middle school I was too white for blacks. I found myself imitating accents to make others feel more comfortable with me. Now as an adult it is a habit . I catch myself imitating the accents of people I'm talking to all the time!
This video has been so helpful! I'm a 17 year old, African American, rising senior, and I have really been dreading the future. I’ve been lucky enough to find companionship with people of the Indian and Asian races, but I do fear that I won’t be as lucky as college approaches. I seem to have developed a phobia about having to move on in life and encounter the new (and primarily social) challenges that will arise. Your video has instilled a bit of hope in me. Thanks very much.
OMG, around the 4min mark YOU MIRROR ME! In July '10, I felt the same way in terms of other people's opinions of me & decided to just "get into myself" (that's what I called it). I didn't do the whole "I'm leaving Facebook, bye every1" thing bcuz it's just not me. What I needed to do was about me & not other people's opinions. I just DEACTIVATED. No warning, no nothing. It's been over a yr now & I got the "where'd you go" but things've gotten so much better since I focused on self! Keep going!
@RetroVintageChic86 Yea, and as I think about it, other cultures use broken language and proper language and they don't consider it "ghetto". They talk different ways for family, friends and professionals. They do it ON PURPOSE. We are the only country and race of people that thinks its a crime to communicate this way.
i absoulutly can relate to thsi video on so many levels. in my life while in middle school ppl would call me the white girl because i didn't have a southern twang and i was different than the other kids. i didn't have any friends except on e guy and he had an issue with weight so we could relate. many kids would call him the 'fat kid' because he was big boned. i almost cried on this video but i knew i had to be strong thank you so much for this...
I can definitely relate. Sounds like my experience growing up. The one thing I hate is when people say "you talk white" I now correct them and say "I talk as if I have an education"......Love this channel I've only been looking at the hair channel so I'm glad I subbed this one as well.
I totally can identify with this dynamic I fel like in my life it's why it's so hard to keep long lasting friendships because I've had to re-evaluate my identity and what is really true to my spirit. I spent all of high school partially fitting in with both races and now all of my "friends" are gone meanwhile I've lost touch with the real ones that fit with me all along. I've made a commitment never to try to fit where I don't. Your advice about becoming sure of your purpose sounds so spot on
You're so awesome! :) Great advice and its so unfortunate you had to go through the ridicule. I'm african american and whenever I hear someone say that another black person "acts white" because of their "proper" speech, clothes or choice of music or friends I'm so irked!!! I always address it! Some people are so ignorant.
didnt know you were a fellow rhode islander!!! (providence born and raised myself) so happy to know that. i wonder if we know any of the same people rhode island is so small, lol but you already know that. I actually live in boston now for grad school.
Thanks for being so honest, I was picked on for being too tall. In school none of the guys wanted to date me because I was taller than them , so I began to slump in my posture. I can relate so much to everything you've said. You have a gift to motivate and give people hope. Keep it up. You rock!!!!!
I just graduated from high school....and I am so ready to start life! To help myself I've written down everything I want to do in life so far. I've already established that the next 8 years is all about me and my self growth. Also I've noticed that all the people who called me whit girl aren't doing so well in life...
What an extremely caring video! Wow! So many of us have this problem ... Where we are not black enough ;( kudos to your parents and mine;) they wanted better for there kids.
Thanks so much for sharing :) I can relate in a lot of ways. Honestly it wasn't til I found my identity in someone who never changes and is greater than myself that I found security and confidence. For me that was in my Father God. I trust His opinion of me more than my own. everything else changes or comes to an end at some point. I have to remind myself that when I try and find confidence in the opinions of other humans, or in my studies, or my singing, or abilities that I'm on shaky ground.
Thank you for making this video! Im from Boston and grew up mostly in Cape Cod, so I feel you 100% :) This is so inspirational ..and keep doing what you do, I love ya videos!!
My God. THANK YOU. this so hit home for me right now. im going through the same steps that you are talking about right now, so this is my confirmation and motivation to help me to continue. thank you
Aww, You're such a beautiful person inside and out! Everyone has a story. Thanks for sharing yours. Hope it will inspire many. You have learned to keep doing what you do & forget the rest. I also encouraged my daughters, now 16 & 20 to speak proper english. They often get teased by those that don't. So I can relate to your post. Have fun with whatever you do...and keep the hair vids coming...Love your hair and the tutorials!
think she is totally right! Sometimes you have to take the time to get to know yourself and the rest will follow, the love, the confidence, and the comfort.
face-to face. Like Nap, I wasn't necessarily depressed, but just focusing on me. Consequently, I have also been setting and achieving personal goals, whether they are career related, hobby related or just personal. I have internalized all of my goals, so I try not to look to others as much advice or motivation, but rather find it within myself to achieve these. It wasn’t until I watched this video that I realized what I have been going through for almost a year. Nap nailed it perfectly! And I
All of my friends know I haven't been on Facebook since September! When asked about it I say there isn't really a person, but one friend told me there WAS but perhaps I didn't know it yet. I think Nap just articulated what I haven't been able to verbalize for myself. I too have been in a self-imposed isolation lately. I also just recently graduated from college and my last semester was difficult. I needed the time to find myself and look inward, so I relaxed social communication if it wasn't
Your spirit is amazing. Absolutely great advice. Focusing on GIVING is key. Getting involved with projects, working on something that will benefit others and acts of kindness to others will always make you feel great. Never look at what you can't do . . Just do what you can! Do things you are good at doing. Keep your focus on positive things. You will be amazed at how great you feel when you get the focus off of your short-comings (we all have) and onto the great things about you.
Yay your roommate was Haitian lol! I'm Haitian =) Usually when we say "blanc" it pertains to anyone who isn't Haitian, whether Caucasian, African American... just thought I'd chime in =)
All of this is so true for me. Since elementary school I was the "white girl". Then I went to a mostly white high school and I was the black girl who didn't "act" black. I am so happy to be finished with high school finally. Thankfully I have a best friend just like yours.
There are quite a bit of people that needed to see this video including myself... because some people automatically think that a person such as yourself being so upbeat, fun and all around so sweet; that you may have just been born with optimism in your blood lol. I have definitely struggled and still struggle sometimes with feeling like an outcast, even in my family and I've even become a loner because of it... but after taking a moment, I have started to work on myself and I'm a lot happier
I'm so glad you shared this. Please ignore the ignorance of some comments; I live in the Bahamas and you have inspired so many people along your journey and that transcend race, culture, and gender boarders, you have a lot to love yourself for because that was why we were created to love and inspire through our lives. thnks for sharing.
You will never be white enough for white kids so that made no sense what soever. If your going to try to be logical and make yourself seem to be different then the rest of us; which you are trying so hard to do please make sense thanks.... This is not logical are deep this is crap every girl goes through this its normal way of life.. Its called accepting yourself for who you are DUH!!!
Very deep and very big of you to share your personal story. You are a wonderful person from the inside. What you shared I am sure all of your viewers can benefit.
thank you I really needed this...Seriously I feel you made this video for me. I wish this was made before I graduated but as an early postgrad I still plan to apply this
Congrats on ur moving out. THat is my number one goal! being self-sufficient. I am already paying my phone bill so I guess thats a teenie step towards a long journey I plan to take....take care.
I know exactly what you are talking about! my parents are Nigerian and growing up my mother insured i speak proper english at home. also, through no real fault of my mother, i wasn't taught how to speak our native language. So i've never been black enough for black americans, b/c i 'talk white' and even among Nigerians, I'v never been nigerian enough b/c I dont speak igbo. It used to REALLY bother me when I was younger, but now I've realized I am enough for my self. and thats all that matters.
Definitely needed to watch this today! I'm in the same position that you were in, the position where you have to be by yourself and focus on yourself. I say all the time that at one point inline you have to do for the benefit of you and that's what I'm doing. Great inspiration from a beautiful woman!
It felt like you were talking directly to me. The long time friend, the "white girl" comments, senior in college. I just took a test and I didn't do as well as I wanted and I just felt really down for some reason. This really spoke to me. Thank you for making my day and I will be applying these guidelines :)
so awesome! wow, you and I have scarily parallel lives... lol right down to the friend from middle school [mine was elementary, but hey... whatev] :) I just don't have an awsome hubby like Phillipe! haha you hit some excellent points! the 'focus' element is absolutely right! and yup, I'm 43 and I STILL get the 'white girl' comments.... so sad and embarrassing [for them...] I think between 5 & my early 30s it would bug me, but now, I'm getting old now-- f* em! I've got stuff to do!
Thank you for this post! It is so good to see that I am not alone in this. I to was called the "white girl" because of the way I talked and because I cared about school. And it is sad that at 27 I am STILL dealing with this as well. I pray that other women of color who are in the same boat as you were will be inspired as I am today! Thank you again and God bless!
You Just said EVERYTHING I NEED TO HERE! You have NO idea how much you've helped me. I'm seriously crying because you've saved me from future struggles. Thank you so much, Whitney.
OMG thats so crazy cause im the same..... i went to a private school my whole life and all my friends are white so ppl would always ask me why i speak so proper and the i sound white and act white... good advise
Nice video... I actually love all your videos and i love your hair... keep posting your post and keep being you no matter what,, it really feels good to wake up and see the beauty in ourselves the way god created us,, rather is natural curley hair ... permed hair whatever just love your being you. I am natural get a lot of looks but i beel good when I wake up and go to sleep ,,
Thanks for posting this video. Very inspiring. I also experience (and still do) the title of "sounding white" and what I have learned overtime is that it is about finding your passion in life and to surround yourself by great supportive and positive friends. So I so agree with you. Keep up the good work you are fantastic!
Story of my life... wow. Thank you for sharing! I have faced this struggle ALL of my life - and still face it today. But, I'm so comfortable and blessed in my own skin! Authenticity matters - and that authenticity has allowed me to reach the hearts of women all over the world - regardless of race, age or anything else. What used to be the source of my struggle has turned out to work in my favor! To those of you struggling, just hang in there. God will use it for your good! Blessings...
Oh my goodness, what a small world! I am from Providence and grew up there and went to college in Boston! So cool to see a fellow Providence/Bostonian girl!
Btw, if it's not too much to ask, what high school and college did you go to? (I DEFINITELY understand if you do not want to give out that info..I was just curious since you grew up in the same city as me and went to college in the same state).
I identified with your description of your background. I grew up in the Caribbean, but always spoke so "proper" that people would ask if I was American. I thought I sounded "normal" but that was normal for my household. When I came to America, people where surprised that I "spoke so well". Like people from the Caribbean don't speak well *eyes rolling*. I never really fit in either. Still don't...but now I've accepted it. I'd rather stand apart :-). Thanks for this video! Blessings...
@AfroTee I'm raising my children just as your Mom raised you. I constantly correct my 5 year old, to the point of ignoring her until she speaks correctly, because I know what I've taught her and I know she knows what to say and how to say it. I'm hard core with the grammar. LOL There is no such thing as sounding "white" because there are lots of White people who don't speak well, just as there are Black people who don't speak well.
@AfroTee I went through the same thing when I cam for Barbados. It is sad that we still have to deal with this craziness despite having a black president that speaks proper English.
I loved watching this video! I live in Western Canada and most blacks who grow up here speak English well. When I go to the states I meet a lot of AA who will just stare at me because of how I speak. This happens all the time and you know what I don't care. In Canada nobody has ever said to me, "You speak English well." It's just assumed that you need to speak well. But in the US people tell me that ALL OF THE TIME.
An absolutely AMAZING video! I grew up with the same issues, the black kids making fun of me for not being "black enough". Or saying that I "talked white". Looking back on it now, it just shows how weak and lost a lot of my bullies were. Thank you, naptural, for this video, more people need to watch this for their issues of confidence or lack there of. Love you!
OMG! I swear we are so much alike! I think right now i am at the point where I am isolating myself so that I can become more sure of what I want to do in life rather then in the state of mind where I am always worried about what others think. and I KNOW how it is growing up being teased because of the way that you talk! I swear people looooved to make fun of the fact that I talked "white"! :-/... w/e Thanks for sharing this video! :-)
I AM A PERSON THAT CAN TALK WITH ANYBODY!. TALKACTIVE? YEA!! I LIVE 30 MNS FROM NYC AND MY 2 YR OLD AND I FREGUENT THE CITY EVERY WEEKENDS. WHEN EVER I AM ON THE NJ TRANSIT GOING TO NYC I END UP TALK WITH EVERYONE SITTIG NEXT TO ME! AND I'VE ACCOUNTERED ANOYONE WHO WASN'T WILLING TO HAVE A NICE CHAT. AND THESE ARE BLACKS, ASIANS, WHITES, HISPANICS, THE LIST GOES ON... I AM A SELF ASSURED PERSON, THEREFORE THAT SHOWS AND IT MAKES PPL COMFORTABLE ROUND ME. THANK YOU FOR SHARING!
thank you for sharing your story! This has been such a common struggle for myself and some of my close friends. Focusing on your goals really helps. It really helped me, but also finding a really great therapist helped me a lot!! This year I found a black therapist that I felt like I could open up to and whom I felt really validated my pain and my hurt and nurtures my self esteem. This is the first time in my life where I feel amazing on my path! it was well worth it!
(black & p.r) but you couldnt tell lol. She would call me p.r simply because of the texture of my hair, made everything about RACE, COLOR, HAIR, SPEECH. My mom didn't like me hanging with her AT ALL. lol. But to me she was just misguided, brought up to think light was right (but didnt believe it). Just all types of foolishness. Never was I stuck up or gave anyone a reason to feel I was sadity. It wasn't all just a few lames lol. I feel you girl & im on the same page. Rock on mama spread the word
I remember my bestfriend at the time (thank GOD we aren't anymore lol) who was already in high school I was in my last year of middle school, but I always hung amongst the intellectually stimulating people in my prime. Or just the older ones. Came home from school one day we were outside her house I forgot what word I used but it wasn't anything far fetch & she asked why are you always using those "big words"? I said what? Why won't you? lol. Idk even down to my hair being curly. She was mixed &
1st I'd like to say woot woot to being a B, Mass baby like me! :-D and I too moved to RI for a while but the street was horrid we had to go lol. But back to this video, girl you cease to amaze me. I swear if I knew you we'd be locked at the hip. Same ordeal with folks feeling oh your too this or that & a lot of jealous insecure people who had a problem with themselves more than they did me. I had a strong mother who taught me well so if I slipped she was right there to remind me what time it is.
That was a very insightful video! My daughter and I have gone through much of the same treatment. I've gotten over all that foolishness but this video may really help her. I'll show it to her as soon as she comes home! Thanks so much
I was def teased for being the "white girl"....so I never actually fit in with a particular group. I cried a lot and I remember my older brother saying "You don't speak white, you speak properly" and that made me feel better. I had a lot of friends and even now I still don't fit into a "group" but it doesn't even matter any more, I guess with age, there is a bigger picture. Thanks for this video. :)
Thanks for reminding me of what was "instilled" in me as a child...I've no idea how I possibly could've forgotten or became side tracked and so concerned about the thoughts of others in reference to Me and was still found myself unhappy...I also thank the person who asked the question of you, many blessings to both of you!!
Thanks! I needed this reinforcement to motivate me. I am "WAY OLDER" than you, but it's always good to hear something positive to keep your confidence up. It's good to have people in the world like you. You are awesome! I am a mother, teacher, and wife, but seem to have forgotten about me. I need to find me again. I too don't seem to fit in anywhere. Thanks so much for this video.
Girl, I love your personality! I just don't understand people sometime. You are so cool to me. I would have love to be your friend. God bless you sister!! You look beautiful.
I also had the whole "proper" thing going but I'm proud of it :)
(anyway)
This is also the story of my life so far. I'm in school for graphic design and will graduate next year...I want to get an internship but I can't push myself to do it, I'm shy and awkward when I'm not comfortable, and afraid of not understanding and messing up like in a goofball comedy movie lol
Hello, thank you for your "long" vid, "LOL"! Thanks for giving thoughtful, helpful advice. I think you're right that in order to have self-confidance you have to focus on something that is important to you until you complete the goal. Also, talking "proper" is not a bad thing, it shows intellence, maturity, and people will take you seriously. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for this inspirational vid!!!! I needed to hear that:) I am a wife,mother, & a twin sister. I have very low self esteem. People always tell me how beautiful I am but I dont see it. You have giving me some encouraging words and I thank you for it. You are a very beautiful person inside and out. Please continue to make these amazing videos! Stay Blessed:)
I have a similar story to yours. Thanks for sharing. I'm here if you need another buddy in the MD area!
truecaramel3 1 day ago
I understand, what you're talking about. I was always called an oreo because I never spoke ibonics, & in Los Angeles, especially Crenshaw, the last thing you want to advertise is how well you speak. My mother is Jamaican and she didn't brook any type of ibonics (ghetto speech), so I always spoke properly and because of that I got made fun of until I got to college. I'm happy someone asked you this question and I'm happy you shared your response with us, you're a really blessed individual. ;p
chineyeye88 3 days ago
poor you. I'm Haitian and I totally understand your struggle with people calling you white. I'm sure your Haitian roommate did not meant any harm. Haitian tend to call black women white if they have long long hair or if the texture is curly or very wavy.
good luck..
bazpoze88 1 week ago
Thank you for this video. Some things we learn (or don't learn) as children carry over into adulthood. I myself have a lot of acquaintances, very few friends (2-3). FOCUS is key here, and not on what others think of you, but on what you WANT in your life! Only allow positive things! Until you are able to maintain your own positive energy!
MissKay77 1 week ago
@Naptural85 I totally understand. I experinced some of the same issues growing up. Being called a "White Girl" because my parents taught me proper english. I never understood that? I refused to dumb myself down to make other people feel comfortable. Some black people who are ignorant,insecure or intimidated by our intellegence will try to pull our "Black Card" if we dont fit into their idea of a typical black male or female. I refuse to entertain that foolishness!
Natural010511 2 weeks ago
I really appreciate this video. Thank you so much :)
csurrell07 2 weeks ago in playlist More videos from DearNaptural85
OMG, I can related to this video. I am very well spoken and have been called the same things. Wow I know god has sent me to your channel.
UPCLOSENMAKEUP 3 weeks ago
I've been called 'white' continuously too, even by members of my own family. And I actually used to accept it. I also used to accept being the 'weirdo' and the 'awkward one,' but since college I've learned to ignore all that and just call myself 'Me.' Because that's exactly who I am.
Thank God for good friends and a sound mind. We're all beautiful.
EsentrikEntity 1 month ago
Also don't constantly compare yourself to others. It's the path to disaster and depression. Measure up to YOU NOT anyone else.That's my life lesson. :-)
up4itgal 1 month ago
*have been called(not talked) white too.
potterylady1 1 month ago
cont....meeting people from other countries! I have been talked white too hahaha. But I love me. Took me awhile to get here (and I still battle this sometimes. It sneaks up). Be wierd (well that's what some call it lol). Be interesting. Forget these folks. Be you!!!!
potterylady1 1 month ago
I see what you mean. I grew up in an all Black town and went to an all Black highschool. Then I went to college to study art. So much opened up to me. I learned alot. I got to hang around people of different races. Also learned about diff music. Got to try diff foods. It was a good thing that I did go to that school and meet so many amazing people...black, white, asian, indian, etc. It made me who I amtoday! I enjoy so many wonderful things now. I love yoga, all kinds of art, musicals, traveling
potterylady1 1 month ago
"You talk and act white". "You mean I talk and act like a human being"
wannabestarinsomthin 1 month ago
Thank you so much for this video. Although I can't relate to everything you experienced, your story definitely touched me. I feel so inspired and motivated. Thank you!
rockies2010 1 month ago
I never understood why people say I sound white. Where I work, I have to speak with people all the time & black ppl say I sound white...because I pronounce my words the correct way. Anyway, I love your channel because I see myself in you. I'm 21 & my self esteem was low because of being molested when I was 11 & having my mother abandon me. I work hard and see my worth in my work. Lol blabbing on & on. But I like you & our personalities are a lot alike.
simplyygabi 1 month ago
Show YOURSELF, What YOU are Capable of Doing...
Wow that's powerful. Thanks
DressingwithDee 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Thanks so much for this video. i needed this at this very moment.
shannelmechelle 2 months ago in playlist More videos from DearNaptural85
so speaking well is white. that is terrible. Thank u for sharing this Dear. U speak the TRUTH!
faqu529 2 months ago
preaching to the choir your story is ME!
Another thing is be yourself, as cliche as it sounds. Once I started easing up and doing/saying how I really felt and not putting up a facade for fear of what others thought I began to feel better about myself. I wasn't hiding anymore. An positive consequence of being yourself is you begin to attract TRUE FRIENDS that really appreciate you and your unique POV.
Unekwu89 2 months ago
this...is so me.
WeirdGirlParadigm 2 months ago
WOW! your story is kinda similar to mine :D everybody in school called me oreo or thought that I wanted to be or act white by the way I talk or represented myself! thankfully no one calls me that anymore! I think your pretty luck to have a friend that you can relate to throughout school! I wish I had one :D instead I feel so lost and never really excepted, but I know that its just high school and I need to focus on myself! thanks a bunch!! :D <3
00TatiPrincess00 2 months ago
Great Video. I agree with Everything you've said. People have referred to me using that term growing up. They didn't see how it wasn't cool, but i kept my mouth shut. I recently split with my Perfectly Wonderful bf in order to find out who I am and where I'm going. He didn't get it and i wasn't able to explain myself but now that Iv'e seen this video i can explain it in a way he and others will understand. thank you
camilia198773 2 months ago in playlist More videos from DearNaptural85
Thank you for the inspiration that you are xx
Litt1eLisaMarie 2 months ago
You're awesome, I hate when lazy people don't pronounce the "R". People, don't be prejudice against R, it's a wonderful letter and it deserves your respect.
Viktir666 2 months ago
My thoughts articulated. Thank you sooo much! :)
kittenzsmittenz 2 months ago
Thank you again Hun!
PLOCA82 2 months ago
Omg I am so glad I came across this. Thank you very much.
I had to get off fb as well and stay away from certain negative people in order to focus on myself and it feels pretty damn good.
PLOCA82 2 months ago
It is so wonderful that you share yourself. This is a blessing from God. The ability to witness to the betterment of others if a gift.
Thanks for giving.
I must have been your long lost big sister. This is a carbon of my life. BTW. I graduated HS in 85. 💋
Skyduchess 2 months ago
Thank you for this video. Your so right, I jus feel defeated with all these obstacles in my way. One step at a time I guess.
lilmamakay2004 3 months ago
Thank you...exactly what I needed to hear...you remind me so much of myself :-D...now I'm focusing on something (and I have a YouTube page for it too). You are a blessing to many! That includes me! *smiles* Thanks!
-Ivy
ivylove14 3 months ago
About a week ago I actually starting to write you a similar message but didn’t know how to ask. But yeah, you’re so lucky. I went through the same thing, but I was alone. I didn’t have a best friend. I’m trying my best, but it’s really hard.
Qannah 3 months ago
I went through this all the time at school, people said things to me like "you sound white and "you dont sound Black".
Now I go to a new school where people are more understanding they dont judge me they just say I have my own Swag.
kitcatmez22 3 months ago
Look your beautiful don't let no one tell you different.Bring smart and speaking properly is not white its just proper.
MrsLeticia1983 3 months ago
Wonderful, Inspirational advice. Thanks so much!
AlwaysBthankful 3 months ago
Me too I never felt like I fit anywere . I have been called the whitest black girl . I was told I sound white Im like how do you sound white . Im always really Happy and Out going "I Love Me ". I accept me. Im just fine with that :O)
iluvmetoo1 3 months ago
Your life story is pretty much identical to mine. Wow. I'm floored. Just replace Boston with Los Angeles. Crazy
briellellelley 4 months ago in playlist More videos from DearNaptural85
I really enjoyed this video because it is so true. Off the subject a little how did you start your youtube channel
caroltncc 4 months ago
Thanks for sharing . I am glad you where able to overcome your inner struggles.
pryma33 4 months ago
It takes alot to reveal our most vulnerable moments. I am glad that you overcame such a difficult time. Thank you for sharing. So many people need to hear this, especially the aspect of finding focus. Also, most of the amazing people in the world are somewhat quirky and different. Be well.
OneLadyTee 4 months ago
I adore you. I have a similar story. It's so great to be connected. Thank you for sharing your story. I will continue to share mine. Encourage. Inspire. Relate. LIVE. <3 La
lyricalpraise 4 months ago
I completely relate to this. I grew up in Kentucky and was teased for not being black enough and supposedly wanting to be white (not that there is anything wrong with being white) but it wasn't me. Thanks for sharing your story.
Mar11ena1908 4 months ago
I had the same problem with being called white girl. I was in grade school... I was about 10 when it started. Bullying came along with it possibly because I was so tiny. I can definitely identify. But like you said after I started working on myself and accomplishing goals I'd set for myself; just focusing on me and and not being dependent on the opinions of others my self esteem reached all new highs.
This definitely made me reflect on how far I've come. Continue being an inspiration ^_^
Qtym3l 5 months ago
omg i so know what you mean...i also grew up in Providence and lived in Boston during college and I got the same type of things said to me ALL THE TIME....I never spoke "black enough", I honestly just never let it bother me, it is what it is. Oprah speaks like me, so i'm GOOD.....great vid!
librascale821 5 months ago in playlist More videos from DearNaptural85
Great video!
learningmoredaily 5 months ago
I just want to thank you for sharing that letter and making a video its really uplifting to see your response.
armygirlsgt 5 months ago
Good advice. Thanks for sharing.
nicholepat71 5 months ago
This really hit home... not because I didn't know but because I forgot I knew this all along... and to really take heed. Thanks for making this video this is truly a defining momment
Daniellerae02 5 months ago
You are God-sent. I JUST prayed about this EXACT struggle...and here you are. I sat in bed praising God for sending you my way. I literally had to pause the video..lol. I just had this epiphany about my life like 3 days ago, prayed about it, and boom, there you go- talking about my same exact phase in life. I actually just realized that I needed to focus on something and shut the world out (even though I've always known what it was). Thankyou for posting this video. :) Godbless you.
musicjunkie295 5 months ago 2
U have no idea how much I needed to hear this. Ty so much. I now feel inspired to prove myself to myself. "U need to get up get out and do something, don't let the days of your life pass by. U need to get up get out and do something, how will you make it if you never even try?"-Outkast....I believe lol
akashajuliet 5 months ago
Happy I watched this vid!!...
bcleveland1215 5 months ago
WOW, I loved everything you said. i wish I knew this when I was in college, it would have helped me so much. Keep up the good work!
divinemissw 5 months ago
Great advice.
cocobrownallaround 5 months ago
i SOOOOOooooo needed to hear this! *tears* TY so much. s/n i am newly natural your vids inspire me so much
Naturalgrlonabudget 5 months ago
Uggh I know all too well about being called an oreo. But thats okay, ill most likely live a happier and wealthier life than the kids who teased me.
darlingdoofus 5 months ago
Great advice! Funny how so many people n different areas can have similar experiences.....keep up the good work.
leneahunts 5 months ago
Thanks for adding this! This is going to help many young ladies. I received this also since high school and went to an African American university to fit in. I felt so alone until I learned to love myself. My ex-husband was white so black guys would start with saying she doesn't like black guys but I love whoever loves me. Thanks for opening up.
sinhutch 5 months ago
What a wonderful public service video. God bless!
junkrack 6 months ago
Hey Napturals! I was never the white girl but it is alot of things out there that I dont like that people think I should like because "I AM BLACK". But I am like you...I dont see race nor color what I do see is a human race that if we cant stop using the "black/white" thing we will be worse off than we are now.
shortyray25 6 months ago
OMG I was the white girl! But you know what, I taught my kids to speak and write well too. Being educated doesn't belong to any part ethnicity and maybe if more of us got that our children would be doing better and progressing further. Thank you for sharing.
thelmarrie 6 months ago
Great Vid! Grew up in California and going to other states..talking the way I do.. I'd get the same thing. "White girl", "valley girl" - yeah, you're never black enough for some people.. I understand completely and thank GOD I grew out of the "caring what people think" phase. The thing that really did it for me was, after college being established in my career (I'm a Graphic Designer too!!), moving back home -- I could see that the "cool people" I grew up with didn't turnout to be so cool...
bjeaneen 6 months ago
I understand! Wow...I'm not alone. Unfortunately the "you talk/act like a white girl" thing started in ELEMENTARY school...smh
Chrissynysc 6 months ago
Hmmmm, I understand u perfectly. Good advice
lalilaksha 6 months ago
I am like that too Naptural, dont worry. I understand...
FreedomReigns55 6 months ago 2
thank you
MissWatkis 6 months ago
ah, the "why do you talk like a white girl" phrase i got it ALL THE TIME in elementary, i was so smitten by it i actually tried to force myself to talk "hood" lol. it was definitely something i took for granted and wished people said it to me now lol
could u give some advice for people trying to get their first apartment??
cherryz88 6 months ago
I was also labeled "white girl" because I talked proper and because of certain things I liked. But that was just me. My family just knew I was going to marry a white man but I didnt I married a haitian. I always had friends but with my family it was that label. But I know they loved me and I got over it cause its me. I am a proud black woman. I am sweet,loving caring ,honest and wise and smart and beautiful I am me. The way God made me and I am happy with ME!!!!!
MrsJulesThomas 6 months ago
I understand too. I'm not African-American but I do understand what it's like to be labeled. I'm in high school, and for a long time I've been labeled as "scary, homo, freak, fat ass," and many other things. I'm 5'7" tall and I weigh 255 pounds. the reason I said I get called "homo" is because I'm Bi-curious. believe me I know what you guys are going through. and I can tell you that having that confidence in yourself and in who you are is what makes everybody unique
THECATFISH63 6 months ago
Me 2, im in high school n everyone call me a white girl even doe im black. Dey call me an oreo. But I dnt let it get to me cuz I no who I am, n im not gunna change for nunthing. :)
alinabeena90 6 months ago
Another black girl called "White Girl" who's an artist. This video amazed me...
BloodandthunderVII 6 months ago
i relate.
jujulesxo 6 months ago
Oh, gosh I have been labeled the "white girl" by everyone that I know for as long as I can remember, this video spoke to me in many different ways...especially because I just recently, about 2 months ago, I deactivated my Facebook account to focus on me and learn to love myself and grow as a person and distance myself from people who will only hinder me from my goals, watching this video is just confirmation that I am on the right path, THANKS!
eclecticsoul91 7 months ago 8
Good advice...I am going to try this!!
one2keepitrl 7 months ago
I had the same exact store. I was also was call the black girl who act white. & I also study graphic design. For me i also cut myself off from the world & let go of myself. for me it was eating the things i also want to (i was a dancer in high school so I didn't eat bread & soda cause it makes me gain weight) although i gain weight i began to love me w/out the knowing i was just sexy to the opposite sex.So now i'm comfortable in my own skin & style w/ out think about how people see me.
Celeste8808 7 months ago
I can relate to your struggle. I remember growing up my parents wanted me to get the proper education and do well in life, even in elementary school. I was the black girl who talked and act white. I loved to read and learn different things and I still do. I am still that little black girl fascinated by science and computers. And I use to get called names and it hurt, but I never let it changed me even now that I am in college. I will continue my goals and love myself.
Thanks Nap <3
LovingMyOwnSkin 7 months ago
I can TOTALLY relate to everything you said in the video. I'm Nigerian, came over the U.S at 11- was "too African" because of my accent. Accent wore off & I became "too white" for the black kids but not white enuff for the white kids. I was the only black kid in my AP classes etc. The first time I felt that I belonged in this country was when I went away to college- ivy league school, but even then I felt that a lot of black students were trying to prove their blackness to each other, LOL.
babyjells 7 months ago
This was just what I needed.
soulsmart18 7 months ago
I agree with all said. I actually had a very similar experience to yours growing up. I was the only black student at my elementary school for years! When I entered middle school I was too white for blacks. I found myself imitating accents to make others feel more comfortable with me. Now as an adult it is a habit . I catch myself imitating the accents of people I'm talking to all the time!
surenufyourmama 7 months ago
This video has been so helpful! I'm a 17 year old, African American, rising senior, and I have really been dreading the future. I’ve been lucky enough to find companionship with people of the Indian and Asian races, but I do fear that I won’t be as lucky as college approaches. I seem to have developed a phobia about having to move on in life and encounter the new (and primarily social) challenges that will arise. Your video has instilled a bit of hope in me. Thanks very much.
LaBellezzaNera 7 months ago
@LaBellezzaNera wow you sound like me :)
jujulesxo 6 months ago
OMG, around the 4min mark YOU MIRROR ME! In July '10, I felt the same way in terms of other people's opinions of me & decided to just "get into myself" (that's what I called it). I didn't do the whole "I'm leaving Facebook, bye every1" thing bcuz it's just not me. What I needed to do was about me & not other people's opinions. I just DEACTIVATED. No warning, no nothing. It's been over a yr now & I got the "where'd you go" but things've gotten so much better since I focused on self! Keep going!
mstangiepangie 7 months ago
Thanks a lot for your video!
Gigidoe 7 months ago
Thank you. Your story mirrors my life. With the exception that I never really found anyone who I truly connected to. Thank you again for sharing.
Peace and Love
madetoshine2 7 months ago
@RetroVintageChic86 Yea, and as I think about it, other cultures use broken language and proper language and they don't consider it "ghetto". They talk different ways for family, friends and professionals. They do it ON PURPOSE. We are the only country and race of people that thinks its a crime to communicate this way.
MsPiinnkkii 7 months ago
you have no idea how encouraging that was for me thank you
cottoncandycurls 7 months ago
i absoulutly can relate to thsi video on so many levels. in my life while in middle school ppl would call me the white girl because i didn't have a southern twang and i was different than the other kids. i didn't have any friends except on e guy and he had an issue with weight so we could relate. many kids would call him the 'fat kid' because he was big boned. i almost cried on this video but i knew i had to be strong thank you so much for this...
sharrona4 7 months ago
This video is priceless!!!
mandy5700 7 months ago
“Without a struggle, there can be no progress.”
loupremo 7 months ago 25
I can definitely relate. Sounds like my experience growing up. The one thing I hate is when people say "you talk white" I now correct them and say "I talk as if I have an education"......Love this channel I've only been looking at the hair channel so I'm glad I subbed this one as well.
AshleyVillacorta 7 months ago 3
I totally can identify with this dynamic I fel like in my life it's why it's so hard to keep long lasting friendships because I've had to re-evaluate my identity and what is really true to my spirit. I spent all of high school partially fitting in with both races and now all of my "friends" are gone meanwhile I've lost touch with the real ones that fit with me all along. I've made a commitment never to try to fit where I don't. Your advice about becoming sure of your purpose sounds so spot on
TammaMammaJamma 7 months ago
Thank you so much for this video.
lagomie 7 months ago 12
You're so awesome! :) Great advice and its so unfortunate you had to go through the ridicule. I'm african american and whenever I hear someone say that another black person "acts white" because of their "proper" speech, clothes or choice of music or friends I'm so irked!!! I always address it! Some people are so ignorant.
OWNERBUSINESS 7 months ago
didnt know you were a fellow rhode islander!!! (providence born and raised myself) so happy to know that. i wonder if we know any of the same people rhode island is so small, lol but you already know that. I actually live in boston now for grad school.
hunydip2002 7 months ago
Thanks for being so honest, I was picked on for being too tall. In school none of the guys wanted to date me because I was taller than them , so I began to slump in my posture. I can relate so much to everything you've said. You have a gift to motivate and give people hope. Keep it up. You rock!!!!!
Fosmoore 7 months ago
Thank you so much for this video!! I really don't know what you just did for me!! Thank you Lord for letting me see this vid today!!
ericaturner32 7 months ago
You are a very wise young woman. Loved the video! Keep your eyes on the prize my dear!
BanglewoodCrafts 7 months ago
*white
lilsnotbeezy 7 months ago
I just graduated from high school....and I am so ready to start life! To help myself I've written down everything I want to do in life so far. I've already established that the next 8 years is all about me and my self growth. Also I've noticed that all the people who called me whit girl aren't doing so well in life...
lilsnotbeezy 7 months ago
What an extremely caring video! Wow! So many of us have this problem ... Where we are not black enough ;( kudos to your parents and mine;) they wanted better for there kids.
Cravenn5 7 months ago
Thanks so much for sharing :) I can relate in a lot of ways. Honestly it wasn't til I found my identity in someone who never changes and is greater than myself that I found security and confidence. For me that was in my Father God. I trust His opinion of me more than my own. everything else changes or comes to an end at some point. I have to remind myself that when I try and find confidence in the opinions of other humans, or in my studies, or my singing, or abilities that I'm on shaky ground.
bramble333 7 months ago
Wow. You and me both. I ended up hanging out with the asian kids because they accepted me more than the black kids.
TufaThanNigerianHair 7 months ago
Thank you for making this video! Im from Boston and grew up mostly in Cape Cod, so I feel you 100% :) This is so inspirational ..and keep doing what you do, I love ya videos!!
netta1567 7 months ago
I just almost cried.... Girl you just touched so much... its so hard... but thank you, its almost like a push!
ayeYoPoOh 7 months ago
My God. THANK YOU. this so hit home for me right now. im going through the same steps that you are talking about right now, so this is my confirmation and motivation to help me to continue. thank you
pyoung23805 7 months ago
Aww, You're such a beautiful person inside and out! Everyone has a story. Thanks for sharing yours. Hope it will inspire many. You have learned to keep doing what you do & forget the rest. I also encouraged my daughters, now 16 & 20 to speak proper english. They often get teased by those that don't. So I can relate to your post. Have fun with whatever you do...and keep the hair vids coming...Love your hair and the tutorials!
MsLisasTube 7 months ago
think she is totally right! Sometimes you have to take the time to get to know yourself and the rest will follow, the love, the confidence, and the comfort.
aaejae88 7 months ago
face-to face. Like Nap, I wasn't necessarily depressed, but just focusing on me. Consequently, I have also been setting and achieving personal goals, whether they are career related, hobby related or just personal. I have internalized all of my goals, so I try not to look to others as much advice or motivation, but rather find it within myself to achieve these. It wasn’t until I watched this video that I realized what I have been going through for almost a year. Nap nailed it perfectly! And I
aaejae88 7 months ago
All of my friends know I haven't been on Facebook since September! When asked about it I say there isn't really a person, but one friend told me there WAS but perhaps I didn't know it yet. I think Nap just articulated what I haven't been able to verbalize for myself. I too have been in a self-imposed isolation lately. I also just recently graduated from college and my last semester was difficult. I needed the time to find myself and look inward, so I relaxed social communication if it wasn't
aaejae88 7 months ago
Your spirit is amazing. Absolutely great advice. Focusing on GIVING is key. Getting involved with projects, working on something that will benefit others and acts of kindness to others will always make you feel great. Never look at what you can't do . . Just do what you can! Do things you are good at doing. Keep your focus on positive things. You will be amazed at how great you feel when you get the focus off of your short-comings (we all have) and onto the great things about you.
EnergyDietBook 8 months ago
Yay your roommate was Haitian lol! I'm Haitian =) Usually when we say "blanc" it pertains to anyone who isn't Haitian, whether Caucasian, African American... just thought I'd chime in =)
paulj2015 8 months ago
i wish the video was longer lol!!
blackmelon1 8 months ago
All of this is so true for me. Since elementary school I was the "white girl". Then I went to a mostly white high school and I was the black girl who didn't "act" black. I am so happy to be finished with high school finally. Thankfully I have a best friend just like yours.
chinainkable 8 months ago
There are quite a bit of people that needed to see this video including myself... because some people automatically think that a person such as yourself being so upbeat, fun and all around so sweet; that you may have just been born with optimism in your blood lol. I have definitely struggled and still struggle sometimes with feeling like an outcast, even in my family and I've even become a loner because of it... but after taking a moment, I have started to work on myself and I'm a lot happier
rutogirl21 8 months ago
I'm so glad you shared this. Please ignore the ignorance of some comments; I live in the Bahamas and you have inspired so many people along your journey and that transcend race, culture, and gender boarders, you have a lot to love yourself for because that was why we were created to love and inspire through our lives. thnks for sharing.
alexaine03 8 months ago
great video!
AceMind28 8 months ago
You will never be white enough for white kids so that made no sense what soever. If your going to try to be logical and make yourself seem to be different then the rest of us; which you are trying so hard to do please make sense thanks.... This is not logical are deep this is crap every girl goes through this its normal way of life.. Its called accepting yourself for who you are DUH!!!
swtnc0 8 months ago
Very deep and very big of you to share your personal story. You are a wonderful person from the inside. What you shared I am sure all of your viewers can benefit.
eagertresses 8 months ago
Thank you for sharing! Some real jewels in here. Blessings, Pooks.
pookinapp16 8 months ago
thank you I really needed this...Seriously I feel you made this video for me. I wish this was made before I graduated but as an early postgrad I still plan to apply this
Congrats on ur moving out. THat is my number one goal! being self-sufficient. I am already paying my phone bill so I guess thats a teenie step towards a long journey I plan to take....take care.
mspampleaseable 8 months ago
thanks so much for this video. I heard exactly what I needed to hear. Takecare
longandnatural 8 months ago
I know exactly what you are talking about! my parents are Nigerian and growing up my mother insured i speak proper english at home. also, through no real fault of my mother, i wasn't taught how to speak our native language. So i've never been black enough for black americans, b/c i 'talk white' and even among Nigerians, I'v never been nigerian enough b/c I dont speak igbo. It used to REALLY bother me when I was younger, but now I've realized I am enough for my self. and thats all that matters.
uzoma17 8 months ago
Excellent advice! I definitely agree that the PROCESS to reaching your goals is what makes you grow, and not the goal itself.
JustStayinSane 8 months ago
Definitely needed to watch this today! I'm in the same position that you were in, the position where you have to be by yourself and focus on yourself. I say all the time that at one point inline you have to do for the benefit of you and that's what I'm doing. Great inspiration from a beautiful woman!
tlinj14 8 months ago
Great message
sweetdimpelzz 8 months ago
It felt like you were talking directly to me. The long time friend, the "white girl" comments, senior in college. I just took a test and I didn't do as well as I wanted and I just felt really down for some reason. This really spoke to me. Thank you for making my day and I will be applying these guidelines :)
411blah411 8 months ago
so awesome! wow, you and I have scarily parallel lives... lol right down to the friend from middle school [mine was elementary, but hey... whatev] :) I just don't have an awsome hubby like Phillipe! haha you hit some excellent points! the 'focus' element is absolutely right! and yup, I'm 43 and I STILL get the 'white girl' comments.... so sad and embarrassing [for them...] I think between 5 & my early 30s it would bug me, but now, I'm getting old now-- f* em! I've got stuff to do!
gigimc 8 months ago
thank you so much for this post!
tamaradenelle 8 months ago
Thank you for this post! It is so good to see that I am not alone in this. I to was called the "white girl" because of the way I talked and because I cared about school. And it is sad that at 27 I am STILL dealing with this as well. I pray that other women of color who are in the same boat as you were will be inspired as I am today! Thank you again and God bless!
pjhill05 8 months ago
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pjhill05 8 months ago
Your always inspirational, you've said a mouth full thanks for sharing.......
Mrsdevsgirl 8 months ago
I think you should check out BeautifulBrownBabyDoll's page, she has a way of both inspiring and uplifting. Keep you head up!! xoxo
LocdNLovelyRita 8 months ago
You Just said EVERYTHING I NEED TO HERE! You have NO idea how much you've helped me. I'm seriously crying because you've saved me from future struggles. Thank you so much, Whitney.
iloverette 8 months ago
OMG thats so crazy cause im the same..... i went to a private school my whole life and all my friends are white so ppl would always ask me why i speak so proper and the i sound white and act white... good advise
sue487 8 months ago
Nice video... I actually love all your videos and i love your hair... keep posting your post and keep being you no matter what,, it really feels good to wake up and see the beauty in ourselves the way god created us,, rather is natural curley hair ... permed hair whatever just love your being you. I am natural get a lot of looks but i beel good when I wake up and go to sleep ,,
felicia3760 8 months ago
Thanks for posting this video. Very inspiring. I also experience (and still do) the title of "sounding white" and what I have learned overtime is that it is about finding your passion in life and to surround yourself by great supportive and positive friends. So I so agree with you. Keep up the good work you are fantastic!
bklynazucar 8 months ago
Story of my life... wow. Thank you for sharing! I have faced this struggle ALL of my life - and still face it today. But, I'm so comfortable and blessed in my own skin! Authenticity matters - and that authenticity has allowed me to reach the hearts of women all over the world - regardless of race, age or anything else. What used to be the source of my struggle has turned out to work in my favor! To those of you struggling, just hang in there. God will use it for your good! Blessings...
LaVondilyn 8 months ago
Oh my goodness, what a small world! I am from Providence and grew up there and went to college in Boston! So cool to see a fellow Providence/Bostonian girl!
NaijaFan 8 months ago
@NaijaFan
Btw, if it's not too much to ask, what high school and college did you go to? (I DEFINITELY understand if you do not want to give out that info..I was just curious since you grew up in the same city as me and went to college in the same state).
NaijaFan 8 months ago
I identified with your description of your background. I grew up in the Caribbean, but always spoke so "proper" that people would ask if I was American. I thought I sounded "normal" but that was normal for my household. When I came to America, people where surprised that I "spoke so well". Like people from the Caribbean don't speak well *eyes rolling*. I never really fit in either. Still don't...but now I've accepted it. I'd rather stand apart :-). Thanks for this video! Blessings...
AfroTee 8 months ago
@AfroTee I'm raising my children just as your Mom raised you. I constantly correct my 5 year old, to the point of ignoring her until she speaks correctly, because I know what I've taught her and I know she knows what to say and how to say it. I'm hard core with the grammar. LOL There is no such thing as sounding "white" because there are lots of White people who don't speak well, just as there are Black people who don't speak well.
AfroTee 8 months ago
@AfroTee I went through the same thing when I cam for Barbados. It is sad that we still have to deal with this craziness despite having a black president that speaks proper English.
Stamara2011 8 months ago
I loved watching this video! I live in Western Canada and most blacks who grow up here speak English well. When I go to the states I meet a lot of AA who will just stare at me because of how I speak. This happens all the time and you know what I don't care. In Canada nobody has ever said to me, "You speak English well." It's just assumed that you need to speak well. But in the US people tell me that ALL OF THE TIME.
yaya14ever 8 months ago
An absolutely AMAZING video! I grew up with the same issues, the black kids making fun of me for not being "black enough". Or saying that I "talked white". Looking back on it now, it just shows how weak and lost a lot of my bullies were. Thank you, naptural, for this video, more people need to watch this for their issues of confidence or lack there of. Love you!
-Adele-
hippiehighpriestess 8 months ago
OMG! I swear we are so much alike! I think right now i am at the point where I am isolating myself so that I can become more sure of what I want to do in life rather then in the state of mind where I am always worried about what others think. and I KNOW how it is growing up being teased because of the way that you talk! I swear people looooved to make fun of the fact that I talked "white"! :-/... w/e Thanks for sharing this video! :-)
jazzybee445 8 months ago
I AM A PERSON THAT CAN TALK WITH ANYBODY!. TALKACTIVE? YEA!! I LIVE 30 MNS FROM NYC AND MY 2 YR OLD AND I FREGUENT THE CITY EVERY WEEKENDS. WHEN EVER I AM ON THE NJ TRANSIT GOING TO NYC I END UP TALK WITH EVERYONE SITTIG NEXT TO ME! AND I'VE ACCOUNTERED ANOYONE WHO WASN'T WILLING TO HAVE A NICE CHAT. AND THESE ARE BLACKS, ASIANS, WHITES, HISPANICS, THE LIST GOES ON... I AM A SELF ASSURED PERSON, THEREFORE THAT SHOWS AND IT MAKES PPL COMFORTABLE ROUND ME. THANK YOU FOR SHARING!
jilberia86 8 months ago
thank you for sharing your story! This has been such a common struggle for myself and some of my close friends. Focusing on your goals really helps. It really helped me, but also finding a really great therapist helped me a lot!! This year I found a black therapist that I felt like I could open up to and whom I felt really validated my pain and my hurt and nurtures my self esteem. This is the first time in my life where I feel amazing on my path! it was well worth it!
seanscutewife 8 months ago
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seanscutewife 8 months ago
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seanscutewife 8 months ago
Thank you
This video is exactly what I needed right now.
Thanks :)
babines42 8 months ago
I had sooo much more to say but arghhh I dont wanna flood the page lol
DaMeekz 8 months ago
(black & p.r) but you couldnt tell lol. She would call me p.r simply because of the texture of my hair, made everything about RACE, COLOR, HAIR, SPEECH. My mom didn't like me hanging with her AT ALL. lol. But to me she was just misguided, brought up to think light was right (but didnt believe it). Just all types of foolishness. Never was I stuck up or gave anyone a reason to feel I was sadity. It wasn't all just a few lames lol. I feel you girl & im on the same page. Rock on mama spread the word
DaMeekz 8 months ago
I remember my bestfriend at the time (thank GOD we aren't anymore lol) who was already in high school I was in my last year of middle school, but I always hung amongst the intellectually stimulating people in my prime. Or just the older ones. Came home from school one day we were outside her house I forgot what word I used but it wasn't anything far fetch & she asked why are you always using those "big words"? I said what? Why won't you? lol. Idk even down to my hair being curly. She was mixed &
DaMeekz 8 months ago
1st I'd like to say woot woot to being a B, Mass baby like me! :-D and I too moved to RI for a while but the street was horrid we had to go lol. But back to this video, girl you cease to amaze me. I swear if I knew you we'd be locked at the hip. Same ordeal with folks feeling oh your too this or that & a lot of jealous insecure people who had a problem with themselves more than they did me. I had a strong mother who taught me well so if I slipped she was right there to remind me what time it is.
DaMeekz 8 months ago
That was a very insightful video! My daughter and I have gone through much of the same treatment. I've gotten over all that foolishness but this video may really help her. I'll show it to her as soon as she comes home! Thanks so much
jadar47 8 months ago
ty
kc352 8 months ago
I was def teased for being the "white girl"....so I never actually fit in with a particular group. I cried a lot and I remember my older brother saying "You don't speak white, you speak properly" and that made me feel better. I had a lot of friends and even now I still don't fit into a "group" but it doesn't even matter any more, I guess with age, there is a bigger picture. Thanks for this video. :)
avaloncar18 8 months ago
Wow....truly a blessing.
ywhite20 8 months ago
words can't describe how much you've helped me by posting this video!
thank you sooooo much! :') <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
nannyb1234555 8 months ago
Thanks for reminding me of what was "instilled" in me as a child...I've no idea how I possibly could've forgotten or became side tracked and so concerned about the thoughts of others in reference to Me and was still found myself unhappy...I also thank the person who asked the question of you, many blessings to both of you!!
Babyshells954 8 months ago
Thanks! I needed this reinforcement to motivate me. I am "WAY OLDER" than you, but it's always good to hear something positive to keep your confidence up. It's good to have people in the world like you. You are awesome! I am a mother, teacher, and wife, but seem to have forgotten about me. I need to find me again. I too don't seem to fit in anywhere. Thanks so much for this video.
nat3803 8 months ago
Really good advice. Nicely put. ;-)
naturalhairful 8 months ago
Are people really into what others think about them? WOW!
p4173 8 months ago
Girl, I love your personality! I just don't understand people sometime. You are so cool to me. I would have love to be your friend. God bless you sister!! You look beautiful.
tkokolt 8 months ago
Thanks for the advice:)
Tanaa21 8 months ago
Excellent advice!!! Great video.
herlucidsky 8 months ago
Great advice!
babynae00 8 months ago
I also had the whole "proper" thing going but I'm proud of it :)
(anyway)
This is also the story of my life so far. I'm in school for graphic design and will graduate next year...I want to get an internship but I can't push myself to do it, I'm shy and awkward when I'm not comfortable, and afraid of not understanding and messing up like in a goofball comedy movie lol
SaxophoneKitten 8 months ago
Hello, thank you for your "long" vid, "LOL"! Thanks for giving thoughtful, helpful advice. I think you're right that in order to have self-confidance you have to focus on something that is important to you until you complete the goal. Also, talking "proper" is not a bad thing, it shows intellence, maturity, and people will take you seriously. Thanks for sharing!
MsZaneta123 8 months ago
Thanks for this inspirational vid!!!! I needed to hear that:) I am a wife,mother, & a twin sister. I have very low self esteem. People always tell me how beautiful I am but I dont see it. You have giving me some encouraging words and I thank you for it. You are a very beautiful person inside and out. Please continue to make these amazing videos! Stay Blessed:)
AmbersN2BNSaved 8 months ago