dane cook athiest

[Ashdragon89]

im atheist and im lmao

[jackoffday]

lol that last bit was my favorite.

[OnlyMe8712]

i'm jewish and i am lmao

[hl2vshalo2]

im catholic, and i dont care if someone else is an athiest or not. i personally think you should believe what you want.

but i cant STAND when an athiest HAS to push me for what i believe, and not leave me alone, as i would them. the last athiest to do that to me ended up in a hospital with 3 broken fingers and a broken rib, cause he wouldnt leave me alone. i beat the fucking shit outa him.

[BackTenAndFace]

@hl2vshalo2 so much for turning the other cheek

[TylerPayne]

If you don't like Dane Cook, why are you posting in his videos?

[sparrowluv121]

HA LOLZ

[donut207]

small shrub...ha.

[daddyrizla]

That was funny,but I am an athiest and I don't believe in coming back as a poxy tree...maybe a small shrub, but a tree...thats just stupid.

[TylerPayne]

Yeah... That's the crazy part.

[OnlyMe8712]

i love the printing a bible on him part

[Qvessnessa]

Print the Bible all over him!!

[Electro519]

milk chocalatey cluster fucks lmao

[Slayton1978]

on my personal standpoint, I don't know or even care about what happens after death. No one has come back from being dead to talk about it yet. Geography, race, culture, and language has divided the people of this planet already...Religion divided us even further. If there are people I feel sorry for, they would have to be religious fanatics trying to hammer their beliefs unto others.

[MrFreeman420]

he used to be funnier

[JPisHOT94]

LOL! U PRINT THE BIBLE ON HIM!

[dlite922]

I have a question. What happens to tiny little infants that die very early? If they go to heaven, do they remain this small? they can't walk or talk, just cry. Is that what they'll be doing in heaven? As a matter of fact what about unborn children that pro-life people are so against aborting. Natural miscarriages have a soul and go to heaven as well?

What rational person believes in god? I mean seriously! Do these questions not come up?

[gothicshadowangel]

i am windextor!!!

lmfao! im athiest but i love dane cook.

[DwarfHunter28]

is that what you guys actually think? you will come back as a tree? just wondering not trying to be offensive

[i0LOVE0pixar]

no, he was being overly dramatic. i mean, i'm sure there are some people who think that, but in general, we just think that when we die.. we die. and thats it.

[ExianProductions]

dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn.... shun the non believer! Shhhhhhhhhhhhuuuunnn!! Shhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuunn!!!

[piccmi90]

dane cook isn't funny

[animation3dfx]

This guys isn't even funny. George Carlin at least put his points in with great humor. This guy has no punchline, just drab complaining like an old woman.

[LomaV12]

fuck you bitch your just pissed cause your a fuckin athiest and god hates you, suck a dick you comedy hating whore!

[animation3dfx]

Yup....you sound like a Christian to me. Gonna face your Jebus with that mouth?...LOL

[animation3dfx]

Let me know the day Dan Cook starts spouting comedy. I like jokes against atheists if they are funny...gets us publicity. South Park did a far better skit on atheists than this low grade gutter comedian.

[jv2451599]

yea but they mock god even worse

[Slayton1978]

How can a person believe in the concept of God without question? Everyone's raised that way. The belief is spoonfed on the young and there you go, he becomes part of the religion. I don't know, the more I grow up, the more I start to peel away everything my Christian elders taught me until I got down to the basics and had an open mind.

Thus I learned that whatever happens to me... It's not their God's will, it's my doing.

[ImTheKobold]

I can see that he's not trying to prove something, but believing a religion doesn't make it correct. If we were picking relgions for the sake of rewards, I'd probably go muslim.

[jaymzb1979]

Oh this guy is VERY Christian...Love thy brother...Turn the other cheek...

[tolchock1984]

That part about gesundheit offends me when he says that he feels as if he is honouring hitler when he says gesundheit, wtf? not all germans are nazis and its hypocritical of him to portray athiests as intolerant when he is displaying intolerance himself.

[Trickingenure]

Yeah but thats the point...

most people think so...

[jhonnyboy2050]

i'm not worried about him, i'm worried about the anal secretion applauding to this guy, what a bunch of losers.

[Zeeboe]

God is only real for people who have great lives. Try telling all the human beings that are being tortured and killed in places such as Burma that God is real and that he loves them. He sure has a funny way of showing it. Either God isn't real or he just doesn't give a crap about certain folks, and he likes to play favorites.

[OJD101Webshow]

I don't think so. When people are being killed, that is the Devil interfering. He is powerful and it does happen. God loves everyone and tries to help them no matter what. I'm sorry if I sound rude, that's just what I believe.

[Zeeboe]

If God is so great, then why doesn't he just kill the Devil?

[OJD101Webshow]

It's not as simple as it seems. The Devil was one of God's angels, until he rebelled against God, and caused orignal sin, which is why we have wars, murder, ect. God sent his son Jesus to die on the cross so when we sin, we may have forgiveness. In our own way, we have some power to kill the Devil, by not sinning, and helping others to do the same. The lesser souls that go to hell, the more go to Heaven and that helps God in His quest to defeat the Devil.

[Zeeboe]

Do you read what you type? You actually believe that? It sounds like a fairy tale to me. Tell me, do you believe in hobbits too?

[OJD101Webshow]

lol, no, sorry if I sounded strange, I probably did. The point I'm trying to make is 9 out of 10 reasons there are wars, etc. is because of free will that we have. God could've forced us to worship Him, but He gave us free will so we could make our own descisions, which is why there is sin. In the 1 out of 10 cases, like cancer, it can be an opportuniy for you to turn to God. I know my beliefs sound strange, but if you really think about it, it makes sense.

[Zeeboe]

Not really, no. It sounds like a way to get people to obey the rules.

[OJD101Webshow]

To me it sounds like God wanting people to return to Him because God loves everyone more than they will ever know.

[Zeeboe]

Well, if God is real he doesn't love me. So I don't love him.

[OJD101Webshow]

I don't really know the situation you're in, but what I do know is that God loves each and every one of us more than we will ever know. Sometimes we make mistakes, but God still loves us. When I was growing up I had a crisis happen in my family, but since I knew God loved and wanted the best for me, it helped me get through it, and it made me a better person. If you have any more questions about faith, feel free to ask me, I'd be glad to answer them. : )

[jv2451599]

Im tired of that same fairy tale :-)

[OJD101Webshow]

What do you mean?

[jv2451599]

lol Oh im just saying im tired of that fairy tale thats it.

[dlite922]

OJD101, I had a crisis in my life too. The flying spaghetti monster (FSM) helped me get through it. FSM loves me and he probably loves you more. FSM loves everyone more than they will ever know. How do I know? Because I prayed to FSM during my crisis and I got through it. that's how I know.

Please! Use a brain cell or two!

[Snowwolf444]

i'm atheist, and i don't really care if someone says "god bless you"

a person's religion is their own business and shouldn't really go around advertising it

[iwreckriots]

am i the only who who googles "snarky"?

lol

[OJD101Webshow]

"I am Windextor, I will clean your soul." It was all funny, but for some reason that part just made me laugh unbelievably hard.

[rottgirl164]

Dane Cook is amazing!... enough said =)

[thebigeasy87]

3:35 someone boos listen closely

[IHvADD]

What a dick.

[chillen200]

kidding me this guy is halarios

[iceboy4511]

nuggety fuck lol

[koski786]

yeah he is

[DigitalBuddah13]

sorry but no he really isnt. if you want to watch a comedian who actually IS funny then i sugggest george carlin,mitch hedburg,demitri martin. dane cook is only funny to losers who thrive on chuck norris jokes and stupid college kids.

[11spy]

praise dane cook fucking athiests

[ScottyFilms]

Come to my channel for fred, family guy, american dad, south park, SNL, and dane cook!

[williamsmorenike]

mack3108

you're a dumb ass..

learn how to spell

atheist before you try to talk

about us.

only people who DO NOT think deeply

believe in god.

it's not real

[chillen200]

fuck you athiest bitch

[mack3108]

i hate when people get defensive about religion, atheiest for the win

[elvis92795]

snarky on the Web:

sarcastic and irreverent, usually out of irritation

[imnotheretobelittle]

he sucks hes not funny and all he does is steal stuff from other people

[sn2727]

give me an example of something hes stollen.....and just so you know hes not a fav. comedian either (im not trying to be "snarky" im just curious.

[loridori]

lol funny dude

[gogohappy8]

once hes paper u print the bible on him LOL THIS DUDE IS AWSOME

[Headbanger1226]

dane cook is praised by the lord for all his awesomness

[fish4lifeFTW]

the best part is the best

[profotoswindseer]

I'm an atheist, but i don't care. he's funny. but i wanted to give him the super finger for making fun of my beliefs. that's NOT what goes down with atheists. we don't become trees. dane cook, you silly bitch

[loridori]

God rocks...peace be with you

[heromaly]

@loridori and also with you :)

[onepersontwoperson]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh HILARIOUS!!!!!

I LOVE IT!

[chelsx3jonas]

lmao. he is pretty much the funniest guy ever :]

i laugh so hard at all of his videos!

[unfortunesoull]

haha i bet that pissed off the athiests

[XximapenguinxX]

hahahaha=D

[XvolcomXradXplaidX]

aha, Dane cook is a silly bitch XD

[lookatyourself99]

over-rated

[skittlesareme]

I tried the half thing...lmfao I got windex all over the drawing i was working on...Really...If you're reading this comment....Don't try to put it half-way...Really....It's a bad idea..."Bad shit happens to good ppl" *whispers* It's true Lmfao.

[SinsNotTragedies95]

ROFL!!!

Ohmygod. That was hilarous.

[DrowSwordsman]

I'm an atheist and I didn't have time to get offended, this is the first time I've ever listened to Dane Cook and he spends WAY too much time rambling before getting to the damn joke.

Maybe I just don't know how to appreciate comedy. XD.

[yoakamae]

I agree, waaaaay too much development time before the reaches the damn punchline.

This is not a personal afront to any of you, but this is possibly the most boring comedian I've ever seen.

Dave Chappelle, there's a man who understands comedy!

[chillen200]

thats the point

[IHvADD]

I meant the guy that booed fucktard....

[Weewawoowah]

Painfully unfunny!

[simplelife88393]

One of the most over-rated standup comedians in the past 3 decades, he's up there with Carlos Mencia.

[diamehikoru2]

I put it half-way today and this was all I could think about...I really thought a ghost would come out...

[metroidgus]

i'm an atheist and i found this extremely funny

LMAO!!!!!!!! this shit was hilarious

[micha1293]

Dude I'm an atheist too and it is funny! But it's atheists like the one in this joke that give other atheists bad names.

[metroidgus]

yeah you're right man. people have to see that you can't group a whole bunch of people because of the actions of one person

[ORlver]

haha

he turn towards me....

and he sneezes like this....

"PUHHHHHH!!!"

LOL

thats great!

[thekanadiankousin]

dopeycanadian2 im canadian too. where you from?

[Girl0mezelf]

So what,

it's comedy.

Don't take it personal...

[Thedomonater234]

@Girl0mezelf amen bro. everyone has their own beliefs. im cathlic

[paula666egpk]

this was hilarious...i used to be atheist and i didnt think that. also why would people get so offended, hes talking about 1 guy not all atheists. calm down its just a damm joke.

[PshtChea]

lmfaoo im not that religious

nor am i atheist.

i do believe in god, dont read the bibile

this shit is HILARIOUS!

"and once hes paper, print the bible on him."

LOL

[cheyennehomie]

2. snarky A word that should be googled to find the definition as per direction from Dane Cook. It means short tempered or irritable.

"He was being very snarky with me. Yeah, snarky. Its a word, google it." -Dane Cook Yep...i googled it

[DaGarebear]

Ha all these atheists are going "THIS IS NOT FUNNY CUZ HE MAKING FUN OF ME >:(" Big whoop.

[jhonnyboy2050]

Wow, eh... Not funny!

[ExXerMecH]

JOHNNY WEEPING WILLOW OVER HERE

[jhonnyboy2050]

Only people with down syndrome think this is funny, more than a visual insult this mother fucker is like a terrorist attack to the human pupil.

[dom1785]

lol im athiest and i think this is halourios

[ebspurlin02]

LOL Dane cook is awsome!!

[soothuglifesmile]

ummm this was hilarious

[boshankwa]

wooo athesits =]

[LifeDuxMuffinNuts]

Me and a bunch of friends did the windex thing xD

[IB0imbetter]

nice

[FlyingVurtical]

oh man....you should video that shit!....that would be awesome.....

[Hunteress90]

"I WILL CLEAN YOUR SOUL MWAHAHAHA"

[LemonHohoLuvr]

I AM WINDEXTOR

[ORlver]

lol a ficus?

LMAOOOOOOO!

[Soap688]

cluster fuck= peanut and fuck

[deRegulater]

windextor lol

[butters574]

snarky. lol

[DarkSasuke15]

lol,when you die nothing happens

[ktluvaxx]

full of peanuts and FUCK XD

[nincompoopsofdeath]

that was so funny i almost pee my pants

[wckosara]

"There is a god he created all of us the only one who is blinded are the unsaved and stillborn everything Darwin said is wrong and evolution has never been proven and nothing is evolving now and the bible is the best book' *inhale* 'nothing in even comes close to its accuracy and if you think god's judgment is bad the devil has worse in store for all unbelievers' ...No punctuation at all in that one."

lol, Dan Cook's a retard

[arrowinmeeye]

i apercate your faith but sicence and religon can live together and mix of both gives a wider view of everything i beleve darwin is wright in some ways but they can never discont that god egsits

[Pwned1123]

wow, arrowinmeeye you need to work on your spelling.

[arrowinmeeye]

yer i know lol

[CommyEli]

Dude if you say everything Darwin SAID is wrong then that means that you believe in Evolution. Becuase Darwin was a Christian and believed in creation ... the only reason evolution came about was because Darwin was very professional and wrote down ALL thought no matter what he truly thought of it.

Just throwing that out there.

[wckosara]

eehh, i was being sarcastic by the way....

[Sputnik1337]

kind of hard to be sarcastic over the internet, don't u think?

[Sputnik1337]

i believe in the theory of evolution

[CausesSideEffects]

yeahh.. that Jim Carrey ripoff really is a retard.. Dane Crook

[profotoswindseer]

i agree with arowinmeeye. religios people are so damn aggressive and oppressive. us athiests just wanna you know learn and teach and what not, and let you guys do what ever, but while holding our dignaty, and theists( religios people) have to be all like BELIEVE ME OR YOUR FUCKED FOREVER!!!!! dude, what the hell did we do to you that you havent done to us like 10 fold?

[dumbcube69]

dont even pull the oppression card..but cause you already did i wont address that topic

my issue is you say all you wanna do is learn and teach

BY ALL FUCKING MEANS! TEACH! TILL YOUR HEARTS DESIRE! LEARN ALL THE LITERUATURE ON THE PLANET!

just dont come in my face talkin mess for what i believe

i aint done nothin to nobody

[evenj2]

I laughed so hard when the ghost came out

WINDEXTOR

[xxCapricious]

hahahaha..."snarky."

and no this is not a dubbed video, the audio is just behind [i know because i've watched this on television.]

[drunkinyoda]

ok captian banana pants. this is obviously a dubbed video. not the original i dont think its possible to lip-sync an entire hour and a half stand up comedy show.  its probably just a delay..

[buddyrocks88]

hes just cocked and PHUUUUHH!

DEBRIS CAME OUT! LMAOOOO

Bahahaha I am Windextor I will clean your soul! hahaha

[captianbananapants]

this was awesome!!! but sometimes his mouth didnt move to his words...

[BreakingDawnLuver]

I love Dane Cook. He is sooo funny. lol :)

[GabsterGangster]

bahahah! pound him down into paper and print the bible on him(x

[nukester]

"full of peanuts and FUCK.....nougety FUCK" rofl!

[AshleyXa7x]

"Hahaha I Am Wendextor Hahaha I Will Clean Your Soul Hahaha!!" lmao you gotta love it

[xeffjry]

he just cocked and PHUUUH!

XD

[Twobit333]

GOD BLESS YOU!

[Nickelbackrox104]

PRINT THE BIBLE ON HIM! XD he is so funny

[MooosMin]

dane cook rocks

[RiceThing01]

that was a good robot

[omidood]

What a waste. No one will read that bible. I guess that was the insult.

/s

[deangirl626]

johnny weeping williow over here!

I'M WINDEXOR ILL CLEAN YOUR SOUL!!!

[LittleNuf3]

Love this vid

[ReapressofDeath]

HE SNEEZED...DEBRIS...MOVEMENT...