Goliath...Giant man - Giant leap of faith.

[TheBoyFromNorfolk]

I don't know how familiar you are with slings, but the historical sling was a deadly weapon at short range, it's not comparable to the modern sling shot. In truth, Goliath never had a chance. Even  good Brass Helmet will not protect you from the force of the blow.

The Roman accounts of slingers are a fearsome read.

Not that I'm suggesting it was a real event. But the location of the helmet isn't a problem.

[rephaim23]

Whether Goliath was 6 foot 7 or 9 foot 7, he was considered a "champion."

Contrary to popular opinion, the tallest man estimated from bones would have been the Fossil giant of Castelnau - estimated height of 11 feet.

[invisiblejaguar1]

well yh i heard that goliath was around the height you mentioned, maybe even up to 10 ft, and you want to know why robert wadlow couldn't walk and needed support. well that's because robert wadlow was a human with a genetic mutation of some kind. goliath one the other hand was a nephilim, and not even the biggest of his kind. the nephilim are coming back as well by the way, their under the surface of the earth at the moment, trust me its not crazy gibberish, check out gorilla199' page

[kalsolarUK]

@invisiblejaguar1 I think you'll find that it is indeed giberish and the fact that you point me in the direction of gorilla199 for evidence is hysterical. The man is a total and utter loon of the highest order.

[RadarKat73080]

Did they have big workhorses back in Goliath's day? Maybe he had one trained to ride.

[balllliiiiinnnn]

"Jason and the aganogs" lol

[anonymousnamealso]

Here's the thing. Goliath was the most fiercest warrior of the Philistines and he was superhuman strong. His sword was over 5 ft. tall. His chain mail weighed over 60 pounds. So for such a small person to kill someone of his strength and height as well as battle skills is beyond a miracle. Goliath could through a cattle. Think of the story of Gilgamesh and just put Goliaths strength there and you'll understand what the big deal was.

[RadarKat73080]

The Dead Sea scrolls says four cubits and a span.  That made him 6'7".

[Nomiss9]

Hmm... According to 17:50 David killed Goliath with his sling and stone, but according to 17:51 he killed him (a second time?) with a sword. :/

[555myname555]

jdogg318 U PIECE OF ROTTEN PIG SHIT HARRY LAWSON UR DAD WAS AN AUSSIE PRIME MINSTER DICKTWAT

[darraghwhelan]

yeh mate dont quit your day job, your no tommy tiernan

[moultriegadog]

interesting

[jstrouse]

If Goliath was Real he was between 6 and 7 feet tall.

The ancient Dead Sea scrolls and books of the Greek Septuagint, dating as much as 1000 years older than the texts which our Bible's were based on, and BOTH read Goliath's height as "4 cubits and 1 Span".

What this means is, Goliath's height grew over time with the re-copying of later editions. A cubit is 17.5 to 20 inches, and span 9 inches.

The Bible in fact gives no evidence of giants taller than 7 1/2 feet.

[lotsbg]

worse than that in face. Take a read of wiki here:

ne of the most interesting of these relates to Goliath's height: 4QSam(a), the Dead Sea Scrolls text of Samuel, gives the height of Goliath as "four cubits and a span," (approximately 200 centimeters or about six feet seven inches), and this is what the 4th century AD Septuagint manuscripts and the 1st century AD historian Josephus also record.

So 6 Foot 7.

Just a few inches taller than me

[jstrouse]

Yeah. These texts are WAY older than the later editions which represent a 9 foot giant.

The copyists evidently added some extra cubits, or were confused with the meaning of "cubit" and "foot". 4 cubits and a span, can equal 6 feet and 1 span.

It's similar to the historian Josephus, who mentions a Jew named Eleazar in his time, who was called "the giant" and was reportedly 7 cubits in height... I think he really meant 7 feet. But the translation of foot and cubit may have been mixed up.

[gagnashdiak]

Or probably not.

Although in oral tradition Goliath was a giant, but in case he was only a giant man. He was human accoirding to the Bible.

Also by the Bible giants are around 4 metric meter tall, and Goliath is barely 3.

[jstrouse]

The Hebrew texts from 900 AD place him as 6 cubits and a span, equal to 3 meter.

But the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Greek Septuagint, and Josephus, ALL place Goliath at 4 cubits and a span, or 2 meters.

The Bible says that Og, the King of Bashan had a bed 9 cubits (4 meters) long, but the translation bed, could also mean Sarcophagus or tombstone like a Megalithic Dolmen or Menhir, such as can be found in the Golan and Transjordan fields today.

[canuckman87]

theres no proof but theres proof of a 9 foot man in robert wadlow, so i can buy that there was a 9 foot 8 guy like goliath terrorizing people a few thousund years ago...

[jdogg318]

Harry Lawson was te tallest man ever recorded...9 foot 2 inches...research him and look at what you see...

[godzilla5500]

wrong, its been concluded on multiple websites that harry lawson was tall but nowhere near 9 ft, they used an illusion, instead of an average height of a woman they used a woman that was around 4 ft but said she was 5'5, so lawson looked 9'2 when he was prob 8 ft at most, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! lmfao jp

[RadarKat73080]

If you saw that eps. of Xena: Warrior Princess, you know what happened. lol

[julzabro]

Wow...this one slipped by me! I guess we r 2 assume (as usual) that the sling shot hit directly into the eye slit of the helmet...just another crucial detail left out....lol!!!

[786empowering]

Haha!!! That was Fantastic....!

[canuckman87]

Moron he was probably 9 feet or a little more if there was such a big deal abut him. Robert Wadlow was 8'11.

[kalsolarUK]

I'm not going to quible about the height of a fictional character. You might as well argue with me about what type of shoes pixies wear. Try smiling now and again...I know it may be a painful experience, but give it a go - you might like it.

[bambataa4ever]

I honestly dont believe Wadlow was the tallest guy ever who lived in this world with his 8 feet 11 inches! If u ask why? Cause he is the tallest recorded guy and cant believe the tallest man was around just in 1900s. There is another 1900 years history and i believe inside this 1900 years there was taller ones too! Every 50 or 100 years will always come a very tall giant to this world.And i truly believe there will come 1 day a 10 feet guy too! Even very sure cause people are growing!

[krskipp]

Whilst I agree it's likely there may have been taller men it's largely impossible to verify anything without a skeleton. Going back just into the 1800s there were some giants whose height was massively exaggerated. No photography, no internet, just word of mouth and everyone's desire to trump another person's story. As for the future it's unlikely anyone will top Wadlow. Doctors would soon operate to remove the tumour and halt the growth, as has already happened with many people.

[jstrouse]

Good point krskipp, in 1906 they had the Russian Machnow who was said to be the tallest man of the world, at 9 feet 3 inches,--- But when he was measured by physicians in France, he was actually found to be 7 feet 9.7 feet tall. Most of those giants exaggerated their height by 12 or 18 inches.

[sethmanrockandroll]

Alot of helmets have "open face". Goliath's forehead around the eye area would've not been covered unless he was wearing a visor (which is how many of your medieval knights are seen).

There's no reason why a forehead beneath an open faced helmet wouldn't be access-able.

[jimmyjamjamy]

he was probably only like 6.7 or something which is more likly or maybe like 7 feet something thats y he looked like a giant. or might even of been 9ft or more lol unlickly says 9 feet in one version of the bible and 6 feet in other version mmmm

wot u think ?

[supersmash43]

the accuracy of the bible is always questionable.

[rockbu5ter]

Anyone watching this skit wish to have a Bible study on any of the subjects being parodied just send a reply. Thanks

[Hahayoureretarded]

No thanks.

[JonDeth]

Worst stand up routine ever..cept the crack about Robert going from the world's tallest man to the world's longest man when he died lol. Either make a few tall jokes and move onto short jokes, then round(fat) jokes, lean jokes or wrewrite the bit.

[WeedOfCrime]

From the untold stories of the Bible: Goliath was defeated so easily by David because he was hungover. Between the heavy boozing and getting his ass handed to him in a bar fight with Samson, Goliath was in no condition the next day to put up a real struggle.

[canuckman87]

What isnt impressive about a 9'6-10 foot tall man with great strength? Goliath would have been freightening.

[supersmash43]

there's absolutely no proof of Goliath's existence...

[SuperiorSavior]

A friend of mine surmised this for me: killing golloiath was like beating up a cow. It looks imposing, but the thing just can't fight back. I hear their (giants) bones (inc. skulls) are very thin explaining the stone thing.

[Saphira144]

ROFLMAO So true!!! 6 hedgehogs and an artichoke LOL xD plus, no one was afraid of Wadlow, why be afraid of a 9ft guy? Sure thats tall, but hes not 50feet...lol sooo inaccurate.

[J43fan]

moron goliath wasnt alone. the whole philistine army was with him. plus he waited for you to come to him so he could kill you. also this guy wasnt weak. he was strong. he could handle that heavy stuff plus goliath was arrogent. his helmet didnt go down like many helmet most likely. he figured he didnt need it. plus David was using pebbles and his rock wasnt going 2 MPH. big rock very fast. even with protection your dead if it nails you right.

[kalsolarUK]

lol, Goliath waited for you to come to him? I bet he did a lot of waiting around in that case.

[J43fan]

im sure he didnt wait all the time but you gotta realize we arent talking about someone with no strength. he could go the distance. plus sometimes what they would do is make it so you cant leave. then they just wait for you to clear them out cause they need food and water and all that stuff from trade wagons or whatever stuff they had back then

[Erilis666]

@J43fan I'll have to take your word for it, I wasn't there.

[Songbottle]

"Six hedgehogs and an artichoke" hahahahahaha!!!

[nE1canC1]

I think King Og in the bible was about 12-feet tall.

[jstrouse]

The Bible does not say king Og was 12 feet tall. It simply states that a relic, known as "Og's bed" was 13 feet long and 6 feet wide. This is undoubtedly a folk tale referring to the huge monolithic basalt slabs which are still found in the countryside of southern Syria. (Google: Gilgal Rephaim, or Rogem Hiri)

[sweetbilly]

Maybe Og wasn't 12 feet tall, can't infer much from a bed as too a persons size (i'm sure Napoleon slept in a 18 foot long bed). But Goliath's coat weighed in at an impressive 150 pounds! Just the tip of his spear was over 20 pounds alone. I doubt a man under 10 feet tall could wear a 150 pound coat or throw a spear that has a 20 pound tip very well. Not ever modern athletes can throw a shot put but 40 feet.

[farvision]

amazingly if you google for

6 cubits and a span = ? feet

you get

(6 cubits) plus (1 span) = 9.75 feet

[kalsolarUK]

lol, google..is there anything it can't do? It will be making my breakfast next.

[farvision]

google:

make breakfast = ?

leads to

Wicked Lasers Torch - Scrambled Eggs

watch?v=wsIHyRyETKg

[jstrouse]

The average height for men in the ancient period of Canaan, was roughlt 5 ft 6 in. Bones of men up to 6'6" have occasionally been excavated, most notably at Gezer in 1902, and Tell Es-Sa'idiyeh, Jordan, 1985.

Goliath would have been exceptional for his time. It was his strength, skill in combat, and great size, which I believe caused fear among the early Hebrews. This military incompetence and vulnerability among the early Hebrews, I believe stems back to a historical reality.

[Eldxale]

I highly doubt that. People were a lot shorter back then. The average height for a human now is 5 ft 7.

[jstrouse]

The common Hebrew cubit of the period in which the book of Samuel was composed (800-600 BC?) has been satisfactorily estimated at 17.5 inches via archaeological excavations in Palestine. The Span, was half the cubit, or 8-9 inches. Using these historical measurements, Goliath could be reasonably estimated at 2 meters, or 6 feet 6 inches or so.

[kalsolarUK]

Being 1 foot taller than than people of the period hardly qualifies as being a giant. I'm assuming by these alternative measurement conversions that Noahs ark was also much smaller than the measurements we currently go by. Even less room to cram the entire worlds species of animals on. What you gain on the swings, you lose on the roundabouts. lol.

[jstrouse]

Kal, do some research. You will find that Goliath's height originally was 4 cubits, 1 span high. All the ancient (200 BC-100 AD) translations of the book of Samuel agree on this fact: The Dead Sea Scrolls, the Greek Septuagint, and the historian F. Josephus, all record Goliath at "four Amma, one Zeret" tall.

The later Masoretic texts written in the Medieval period are the source of the exaggerated or mistranslated "six cubits and a span." It so happens the KJV version is based off the latter.

[blackprince84]

I have NEVER picked up on the contradiction between Goliath wearing a helmet and getting smacked in the head with a stone. Brillant catch yet again.

[Philosophobia]

Goliath was big foot.

[pornoopel]

LOL :)...you forget that the average height was only 3ft back then.. hahaha

[BryanAJParry]

Erm, no, the average height of man was never 3'. You lose. :P

Kalsolar, I read that bit of the bible, and I was all "huh!?!?". I grew up knowing thta Goliath was a giant, as in, 20ft tall of something. And then my bible says he was about 6'6.

[happyjesus123]

Things in the bible aren't that big. God is around 16.2m tall smaller than the largest dinosaurs. watch?v=8j5-FG87n44

I think this is because the Bible was written before the discovery of Texas.

[mrjamespage]

@happyjesus123 is that supposed to be funny?

[Gihaal]

Always a good laugh when I watch you.

[kalsolarUK]

lmao... I'm just digging out the hidden comedy contained in the holy book itself. Actually, most of it isn't that hidden!

[kalsolarUK]

damn you got good eyesight...it looks similar but its actually a drawing of a native american indian.

[darkhyena]

Just out of curiosity, is that a picture of Paramahansa Yogananda behind you?

[nozr138]

9 ft........fucking big but not "giant"

[omgida]

lol, this was awesome.

[ogami72]

Goliath,maybe he was a team of midgets(no offence to anyone)that worked the armor? Like something in Time Bandits.

[GerardBlaize]

ya see, this is why christianity worked better when the bible was in latin nd no one understood wtf it meant

[kalsolarUK]

Yes, now that we understand it, it is more "Holey" than Holy. hehe.

[Panman38]

Pure awesomeness!

[ArchMageZeratuL]

You're my new favourite YouTube comedian.

Keep it up. :)

[kalsolarUK]

Thanks for that, what can I say..thank god for the bible! lol.

[DeletedDelusion]

I would love to hear you talking about Genesis verse 38.

It has a bit less "physical confrontation" in it then the verses you normaly receite, but it´s still a story rarely read at sunday school ;)

[kalsolarUK]

I'll have to look that one up. I've no doubt read it and there are certaily some stories from genesis that I've missed out and still intend to come back to... the bible is just so darn big! I'm kinda glad it is though..it keeps me well entertained reading it. lol.

[RosieDesire]

What it didn't say was that Goliath's helmet was previously damaged by the magical jaw of a talking donkey rendering it useless. Once again the donkey wreaks havoc in the bible.

[hethuszar01]

Brilliant as always.

Keep up the good work.

Cheers

[worldlystone]

Goliath was magic,just like the Bible.Thats how its true.I hope you come to know the boundless love of god,because if you don't,he will set you bitch ass on fire:)

[kalsolarUK]

The bible certainly is magic... how it has worked its magic spell over so many people in the world as to make them believe in its fairy tales is truely miraculous.

[henrythesteinberg]

epic win

[ReligionIsACrutch]

I, for one, am shocked, SHOCKED that you would imply that the Bible isn't completely inerrant in every way. I can only assume that Satan is corrupting your mind and making you misunderstand this obviously completely reasonable and totally believable story. I will pray for you.

To make more of these videos!

[CheezMonsterCrazy]

Many <3's

[MeIoco]

ROFL

[kalsolarUK]

Lol, and I thought you were gonna pray for my soul... talking of which, oh crap.. I sold it to Milhouse. (Simpsons reference..erm...never mind, lol).

[lazymornings]

saw a vid by redskull about this,and it states that, davids stones just knocked goliath to the ground,then david walked up on him, and chopped off his head,then he held it up in an act of victory.check out the vid,search "redskull"

[henrythesteinberg]

no thanks

redskull is a nazi

[lazymornings]

i believe you.

[DeletedDelusion]

Read it yourself. 1 Samuel 17:48-54

There are some minor differences depending on which translation you us, but all seems to point that David killed him with the sling and used Goliaths sword only to decapitate Goliath in a symbolic act.

The ugly thing is that the Isrealites then go after the fleeing enemy and slay them along the way, then they do some plundering.

I´m glad we share some other hobbies these days.