In the US, you have the Violence Against Women Act, despite men being the overwhelming victims of violence, and half the victims of domestic violence (See Martin S. Fiebert's annotated bibliography).So, this is just a chivalrous sop from The Onion - unfunny, and way off the mark. Women initiate 70% of domestic violence, yet The Onion chose not to spoof that largely overlooked fact. Watch Domestic Violence: Women Half the Problem and watch Tom Martin sues LSE Gender Institute for teaching sexism.
@sexismBusters Women may initiate 70% of the domestic violence but who ends up being hurt more? 'She provoked me' is not a legitimate excuse I'm afraid.
@MegaWinnieGirl Self defense is a legitimate legal excuse. Further, women who initiate mutual violence are the most likely to be injured. Also, although more women are reported murdered from domestic violence than men, more men end up dead, as male victims of domestic violence who commit suicide are far greater than female DV victim suicides. Further, women who murder men are more likely to use premeditation hence more likely to get away with it or use an accomplice like a hitman or paramour.
@sexismBusters It's not sel;f defence if she hits you and then you hit her back. A man shouldn't do anything more than restrain a woman unless he is genuinely questioning his safety.
@MegaWinnieGirl Yes, it is self defense, if someone hits someone, and then the other person hits them back in order to defend them self from further violence. "A man shouldn't do anything more than restrain a woman..."? Drop the sexism please. And stop making excuses for female violence already. I blame the parents.
@sexismBusters Hey, violence initiated by anyone on anyone is wrong; period. Please don't think I'm trying to suggest women should be able to get away with murder. All I'm saying is that if a man clearly physically outmatches his spouse then he shouldn't raise his hand against her even if she does it first (she would be in the wrong for doing this but two wrongs don't make a right). And that's not how self defence works.
@MegaWinnieGirl I am legally entitled to punch you in the head if you punch me, as I don't know what you will try to do to me next - but do know women have a tendency to use weapons. You're attacking me, so it is my job to stop it, a punch to the head doing this wonderfully. I know women are more likely to smash a vase over the head, so kick you in the cunt whilst my vision is still blurry, just in case - but take no pleasure from it - then when I am personally safe, mace you and call the cops
@MegaWinnieGirl On the assumption that people reading this thread are not idiots though, what is your message to women who start violence, or to media producers like the onion, who ignore women's violence towards men (given that it is the number 1 cause of men's violence to women)?
Often the person the woman is hitting is not the spous but a child. And yes a woman can do quite a bit of damage to a child. Sadly women get a free pass on this behavior as well, or at least they did when I was younger.
@lhn6856 Then you report her; you don't 'get even' by abusing her. And there's a big difference between physically disciplining a child and abusing one (these days both seem unacceptable but abuse has always been unacceptable).
@MegaWinnieGirl The problem is that women use this lack of physical repercussions as an excuse to hit their men. Since there is an expectation that the man will never physically react, it removes a woman's very real incentive not to be violent. Physically outclassing someone is irrelevant. As an average guy, if I approached a martial arts champion and kicked him in the balls, I would totally expect and deserve to get my ass kicked. So why the double standard with the ladies?
@DrNordo You know what I hate? When guys try to teach me about how women think like they have the super secret inside information so secret that even women don't know. If a woman hits her man then she does so knowing there's no chance of her accidentally putting him in the hospital because she lost her temper.
@MegaWinnieGirl You know what I hate? When stupid bitches think that just because they aren't likely to break a jaw or an arm that it means they are immune to reprisal. Besides, women often compensate for a lack of physical strength by using weapons or going for sensitive areas (eyes, genitals). I am positive that if it was PC for men to physically retaliate against women like it is man vs man, domestic violence rates would plummet.
@MegaWinnieGirl Like it or not, the threat of getting one's ass kicked is a main part of human nature that reigns in the worst of our behaviors. Don't believe me? Look no further than the internet, where the absolute impossibility of getting one's ass kicked has turned it into the barren wasteland of humanity that it currently is.
@MegaWinnieGirl WRONG! She does so knowing that if the man she is abusing physically, and verbally can easily be arrested on nothing but her fucking say-so, if he so much as BREATHES on her in retaliation.
Women are abusers, and they do so with absolute impunity.
I'm really disappointed in the trolls who ruin the Onion News Network's reputation as a fair and balanced news channel by spreading their lies. The ONN is not "Satire" (if that is a real thing) it is a perfectly legitimate news channel. THEY ARE AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB, the venue of choice for all news channels. FIGHT THE LIES!!!!!
If you want the truth about domestic violence, Wiki "Erin Pizzey".
Read about her work with domestic violence victims and how she and her family were the victims of DEATH THREATS FROM FEMINISTS because of her findings.
Isn't it funny how many feminists are women and a lot of them very privileged and bored women. I'de like to see one of them stand up for black rights or the rights of homosexuals or even the rights of children....but no......they are so self centered that they would rather focus on subjects that deal directly with them. I remember walking around college back in the day and one of these feminists was putting stickers on every passing man that read "Rapist". Let's focus on being humanists instead.
@Flipper79able There is nothing selfish about advocating for women's rights. The womens movement frequently pairs up with black rights, gay rights and children's rights - your assertion has no factual basis. Feminists, while with all social and political movements there are extremists, seek equality. The idea that some feminists might be priviledged dosn't negate the validity of thier position.
@Flipper79able Yeah Martin Luther King and all those black panthers were so fucking selfish man, so self centered. I'd like to see one of those blacks stand up for the rights of children!
@sirdavies94 I think you comparing women's right to black's rights is laughable.First of all blacks are minorities and don't have the voice white America has.Women make up the majority of the population.I think there was a time when woman needed to fight for their rights which I support,but these days I can't think of any rights men have in America that women don't.If anything women have more reproductive rights,laws bend for them in domestic abuse cases,more cancer research goes to women, ect.
@Flipper79able so what? people can fight for whatever they find isn't fair. At least they are standing up to what they believe. Of course women have more reproductive laws, because because it's them who have the child. Of course women have more laws behind them in domestic abuse, because the vast majority of domestic abuse comes from men. Of course they have more research, because they suffer from a very common cancer that just affect women. (continues)
@Flipper79able You see? it is justified, it is not because of some sort of favoritism (which is what you are suggesting). I don't see how people fighting for equality can be viewed as a bad thing, unless you are the one who gains with that inequality.
@sirdavies94 I usually make it a point to not argue with bias people because they will ignore facts and see their point as always superior. See about this....Why is it that if you circumcise a man in America it's okay but if you even mention female circumcision your a crazy sicko. When has a feminist ever fought for the males on there basic human rights? That's just one, being a humanist is better than being a feminist that way you don't exclude and blame but include all human rights.
@Flipper79able The fact that you would even COMPARE female circumcision to male circumcision is outrageous! Female circumcision is the REMOVAL of the clitoris! If they start chopping of the heads of men's penises feminists would be advocating for children's/men's rights. That you have the audacity to make that comparison is infuriating!
@sirdavies94 P.S.- And while we are on reproductive rights why is it that when a woman has unproductive sex and get's pregnant she has the right to have an abortion or she can give it up for adoption or she can keep it but the same man that has gotten her pregnant has no choice to correct his mistake and his only option is to pay or go to jail if she decides to keep it? Is that fairness and reproductive rights? I mean that's two reproductive rights women have that men don't. I can go all day.
@Flipper79able well that is a genetic right isn't it? You can't just obligate a woman to go through an abortion just because you don't want to have the baby. When you have unprotected sex you are taking that responsibility. I don't know if in all cases the father has to pay for the baby. In that case that is something that could be better. It's ridiculous to say "when has a woman fought for men's right's" because people fight for things that affect them, I think it's pretty obvious.
@sirdavies94 I just know that both women and men can be oppressed in different ways. Both men and women have things in society that may be unfair to them, but you don't see MEN's rights groups picketing places and placing a sticker on random women that say RAPIST. I just think a lot of hostility is directed towards men from women's groups blaming them....and yet men never get their own groups protesting unfair practices towards women. Men get involved in groups that are not gender specific.
@Flipper79able Well I'm a man and I don't care if it is race, gender or whatever specific points of view, I will always support any movement that seeks for equality and justice.
@Flipper79able If you had to carry the child to term, you would want the right to decide whether to go through with the pregnancy or not too. Because it would be YOUR body that had to go through with it. You have proven that you are a complete and utter mysogynist.
It's kind of sad that people debate over who has the right to decide to euthanize a pre-natal child. They never include the child itself in the debate. It's kind of frustrating that people ignore the proto-human's interests entirely, focusing on what is preferable to adults on either of the issue.
It's a human life that is in question, and I wish people could treat that with the gravity that it deserves.
This is BITING and acerbic satire. We feel uncomfortable watching it and that is the whole point. Because women DO NOT report domestic abuse and DO END UP STAYING with these pieces of shit who beat them. That is why this hits us so hard 00 exactly because it is true. The Onion is RUTHLESS, pure genius. I have been reading it since 1998. And yes, I am a female.
serious question: does 'domestic awareness month' really stop men from beating their wives? I mean, how does a purple ribbon keep people from hurting their significant other?
Every time my wife lays the smack down on me, I know it is because she loves me and I did something wrong. There is no domestic violence, in our marriage. I deserved everything I got. She uses ice in a sock to beat me. I thought that wasn't supposed to leave bruises. Oh well, I deserved it. Oh-Oh! Madam is not happy with the message I left. I better get the pillow case full of rocks ready for her. I love madam and I shouldn't cross her anymore.
How can the media much such statements? Domestic abuse does occur despite what some people have to say about it. News organizations need to do more research.
@militia765 Well, just as long as you don't tie me up and beat me with a REAL bat.....of course, I would consider a Wiffleball bat, but I'd have to meet you, first.
@jamieblond1 the fact that your husband continues to abuse you is both his fault and your own. He for not being a real man and hitting a lady, and yours for not leaving him. File for divorce and get a restraining order. If you have no money, move in with a friend and get a job, if you have no friends, move in with your parents and get a job. Again, it is just as much his fault as yours.
@jamieblond1 i think you don't get the meaning of this Video. Its a parody of People who are abused, but say it was just a clumsy accident. Still, i also have criticism about it. Even though it is a well known fact tha One-Third of all people suffering from Domestik abuse are, in fact, Males. But they don't seem to Be representated here, do they?
Germany is not allowing any opposition.Every German is constantly forced to take part in human rights abuses.Everybody not taking part is being tortured and/or murdered,see my channel and homepage.
This results in:
1. every good German being dead (because having been murdered by his state)
2. every (remaining) German being only good when dead.
Except for the few managing to survive without collaborating.
I beg to differ! Domestic abuse IS a problem in America,
I suffer from being abused by my husband, who skull-fucks me almost every day, and I have bruises all over my body from being tied up and beaten with a Wiffleball bat.
And btw, what's wrong with that woman with the black eye? They're obviously paying her a lot of money to tell those lies.
I burst out laughing when he said the kitten won the cliffdiving contest, then my mother hit me and told me to shut up. This video is the cause of domestic abuse
@ coolwater55 A friend of mine that got abused by her boyfriend just pissed herself laughing at this so stfu and get a sense of humor. If it's not what you like... LEAVE.
@coolwater55 Haha that's even funnier. Forgive me if i have no sympathy for stupid women who stay with men who abuse them. There's always a smarter way and THAT is why my friend can laugh at how stupid she was to take it. And the whole satire of the video is pointing to the funny fact that women will defend their wifebeater husbands at no cost. It's a joke. Lighten up. Don't be so quick to try find something wrong with anything you don't like then express a biased limited opinion
@VomitShovel I would like you to take a walk in anothers shoes someday and maybe you will find that not everything is as simple as you may have thought
@coolwater55 Why do you watch The Onion? I totally agree that this video isn't the funnier around, but just don't watch The Onion if you don't like satire, that all this channel is about anyway...
Would have been funnier if they spent the whole video only showing one side of her face, and then at the end they show that she has a huge mark on her face.
Taking into consideration that more than 50% of all domestic abuse is perpetrated by women against men, this slips from the ironic into the ridiculous.
I've been saying this for years Alot of women are just plain clumsy.
gmann1695 3 hours ago
I KNEW IT!!!:D
gmann1695 12 hours ago
I do see the humour in this but I don't think domestic abuse is really at a stage where it can be made fun of. It still happens a lot.
MegaWinnieGirl 2 days ago
what are the chances all those female actresses were lesbians?
imscaredofcoffee 3 days ago
In the US, you have the Violence Against Women Act, despite men being the overwhelming victims of violence, and half the victims of domestic violence (See Martin S. Fiebert's annotated bibliography).So, this is just a chivalrous sop from The Onion - unfunny, and way off the mark. Women initiate 70% of domestic violence, yet The Onion chose not to spoof that largely overlooked fact. Watch Domestic Violence: Women Half the Problem and watch Tom Martin sues LSE Gender Institute for teaching sexism.
sexismBusters 3 days ago 6
@sexismBusters Women may initiate 70% of the domestic violence but who ends up being hurt more? 'She provoked me' is not a legitimate excuse I'm afraid.
MegaWinnieGirl 2 days ago
@MegaWinnieGirl Self defense is a legitimate legal excuse. Further, women who initiate mutual violence are the most likely to be injured. Also, although more women are reported murdered from domestic violence than men, more men end up dead, as male victims of domestic violence who commit suicide are far greater than female DV victim suicides. Further, women who murder men are more likely to use premeditation hence more likely to get away with it or use an accomplice like a hitman or paramour.
sexismBusters 2 days ago 4
@sexismBusters It's not sel;f defence if she hits you and then you hit her back. A man shouldn't do anything more than restrain a woman unless he is genuinely questioning his safety.
MegaWinnieGirl 2 days ago
@MegaWinnieGirl Yes, it is self defense, if someone hits someone, and then the other person hits them back in order to defend them self from further violence. "A man shouldn't do anything more than restrain a woman..."? Drop the sexism please. And stop making excuses for female violence already. I blame the parents.
sexismBusters 1 day ago 3
@sexismBusters Hey, violence initiated by anyone on anyone is wrong; period. Please don't think I'm trying to suggest women should be able to get away with murder. All I'm saying is that if a man clearly physically outmatches his spouse then he shouldn't raise his hand against her even if she does it first (she would be in the wrong for doing this but two wrongs don't make a right). And that's not how self defence works.
MegaWinnieGirl 1 day ago
@MegaWinnieGirl I am legally entitled to punch you in the head if you punch me, as I don't know what you will try to do to me next - but do know women have a tendency to use weapons. You're attacking me, so it is my job to stop it, a punch to the head doing this wonderfully. I know women are more likely to smash a vase over the head, so kick you in the cunt whilst my vision is still blurry, just in case - but take no pleasure from it - then when I am personally safe, mace you and call the cops
sexismBusters 14 hours ago 2
@sexismBusters You're just a sexist idiot.
MegaWinnieGirl 14 hours ago
@MegaWinnieGirl On the assumption that people reading this thread are not idiots though, what is your message to women who start violence, or to media producers like the onion, who ignore women's violence towards men (given that it is the number 1 cause of men's violence to women)?
sexismBusters 4 hours ago
@MegaWinnieGirl
Often the person the woman is hitting is not the spous but a child. And yes a woman can do quite a bit of damage to a child. Sadly women get a free pass on this behavior as well, or at least they did when I was younger.
lhn6856 14 hours ago 2
@lhn6856 Then you report her; you don't 'get even' by abusing her. And there's a big difference between physically disciplining a child and abusing one (these days both seem unacceptable but abuse has always been unacceptable).
MegaWinnieGirl 14 hours ago
@MegaWinnieGirl The problem is that women use this lack of physical repercussions as an excuse to hit their men. Since there is an expectation that the man will never physically react, it removes a woman's very real incentive not to be violent. Physically outclassing someone is irrelevant. As an average guy, if I approached a martial arts champion and kicked him in the balls, I would totally expect and deserve to get my ass kicked. So why the double standard with the ladies?
DrNordo 11 hours ago
@DrNordo You know what I hate? When guys try to teach me about how women think like they have the super secret inside information so secret that even women don't know. If a woman hits her man then she does so knowing there's no chance of her accidentally putting him in the hospital because she lost her temper.
MegaWinnieGirl 11 hours ago
@MegaWinnieGirl You know what I hate? When stupid bitches think that just because they aren't likely to break a jaw or an arm that it means they are immune to reprisal. Besides, women often compensate for a lack of physical strength by using weapons or going for sensitive areas (eyes, genitals). I am positive that if it was PC for men to physically retaliate against women like it is man vs man, domestic violence rates would plummet.
DrNordo 11 hours ago
@DrNordo There was no need for that language.
MegaWinnieGirl 10 hours ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@MegaWinnieGirl "There was no need for that language. "
You're right, sorry.
DrNordo 10 hours ago
@DrNordo Too true.
patientzero532 7 hours ago
@MegaWinnieGirl Like it or not, the threat of getting one's ass kicked is a main part of human nature that reigns in the worst of our behaviors. Don't believe me? Look no further than the internet, where the absolute impossibility of getting one's ass kicked has turned it into the barren wasteland of humanity that it currently is.
DrNordo 11 hours ago
@MegaWinnieGirl WRONG! She does so knowing that if the man she is abusing physically, and verbally can easily be arrested on nothing but her fucking say-so, if he so much as BREATHES on her in retaliation.
Women are abusers, and they do so with absolute impunity.
patientzero532 7 hours ago
best line: 'now if only we weren't so clumsy'
folly7861 1 week ago
I love women that think they're dominant. So cute =3
duckypwns 1 week ago
@duckypwns
I love men who think they're masculine. That's just precious.
Jcolinsol 1 week ago
@Jcolinsol Ew, no, that's called being a douchebag.
Man thinks he's something he's not -> Weird, shameful, etc.
Woman thinks she's something she's not -> Hot, sexy, etc.
duckypwns 1 week ago
@duckypwns
I... what?
Jcolinsol 1 week ago
@Jcolinsol Just accept it. =)
duckypwns 1 week ago
@duckypwns
I have no idea what you are trying to say.
Jcolinsol 1 week ago
@Jcolinsol Cool.
duckypwns 1 week ago
Omg I´m in that "feel-sorry-for-men-fuck-feminists"-part of youtube again..
SmileLyubov 1 week ago
I'm really disappointed in the trolls who ruin the Onion News Network's reputation as a fair and balanced news channel by spreading their lies. The ONN is not "Satire" (if that is a real thing) it is a perfectly legitimate news channel. THEY ARE AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB, the venue of choice for all news channels. FIGHT THE LIES!!!!!
9999923dd 2 weeks ago 10
Comment removed
Loufoca13 2 weeks ago
Comment removed
drjonasson19 2 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@Loufoca13 It is real? Please didn't you just watch the video? rates have dropped to zero.
drjonasson19 2 weeks ago
Lmao the doorknob was actually his fist it's ok we get your code language -wink wink-
Stockholm much.
unavaliable2 2 weeks ago
Deceptively flat floors would be a good one to add
zammation 3 weeks ago
That kitten totally deserved that win, I mean did you see his form? He was like an angel descending from the heavens.
StalkingRainbow 3 weeks ago
Domestic Violence.
R4LAXED 3 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
If you want the truth about domestic violence, Wiki "Erin Pizzey".
Read about her work with domestic violence victims and how she and her family were the victims of DEATH THREATS FROM FEMINISTS because of her findings.
StarsManny 1 month ago
Isn't it funny how many feminists are women and a lot of them very privileged and bored women. I'de like to see one of them stand up for black rights or the rights of homosexuals or even the rights of children....but no......they are so self centered that they would rather focus on subjects that deal directly with them. I remember walking around college back in the day and one of these feminists was putting stickers on every passing man that read "Rapist". Let's focus on being humanists instead.
Flipper79able 1 month ago
@Flipper79able There is nothing selfish about advocating for women's rights. The womens movement frequently pairs up with black rights, gay rights and children's rights - your assertion has no factual basis. Feminists, while with all social and political movements there are extremists, seek equality. The idea that some feminists might be priviledged dosn't negate the validity of thier position.
HappyColouredMarbles 1 month ago
@HappyColouredMarbles See my reply on this page to sirdavies94.
Flipper79able 3 weeks ago
@Flipper79able Yeah Martin Luther King and all those black panthers were so fucking selfish man, so self centered. I'd like to see one of those blacks stand up for the rights of children!
sirdavies94 4 weeks ago
@sirdavies94 I think you comparing women's right to black's rights is laughable.First of all blacks are minorities and don't have the voice white America has.Women make up the majority of the population.I think there was a time when woman needed to fight for their rights which I support,but these days I can't think of any rights men have in America that women don't.If anything women have more reproductive rights,laws bend for them in domestic abuse cases,more cancer research goes to women, ect.
Flipper79able 3 weeks ago
@Flipper79able so what? people can fight for whatever they find isn't fair. At least they are standing up to what they believe. Of course women have more reproductive laws, because because it's them who have the child. Of course women have more laws behind them in domestic abuse, because the vast majority of domestic abuse comes from men. Of course they have more research, because they suffer from a very common cancer that just affect women. (continues)
sirdavies94 3 weeks ago
@Flipper79able You see? it is justified, it is not because of some sort of favoritism (which is what you are suggesting). I don't see how people fighting for equality can be viewed as a bad thing, unless you are the one who gains with that inequality.
sirdavies94 3 weeks ago
@sirdavies94 I usually make it a point to not argue with bias people because they will ignore facts and see their point as always superior. See about this....Why is it that if you circumcise a man in America it's okay but if you even mention female circumcision your a crazy sicko. When has a feminist ever fought for the males on there basic human rights? That's just one, being a humanist is better than being a feminist that way you don't exclude and blame but include all human rights.
Flipper79able 3 weeks ago
@Flipper79able The fact that you would even COMPARE female circumcision to male circumcision is outrageous! Female circumcision is the REMOVAL of the clitoris! If they start chopping of the heads of men's penises feminists would be advocating for children's/men's rights. That you have the audacity to make that comparison is infuriating!
HappyColouredMarbles 2 weeks ago
@sirdavies94 P.S.- And while we are on reproductive rights why is it that when a woman has unproductive sex and get's pregnant she has the right to have an abortion or she can give it up for adoption or she can keep it but the same man that has gotten her pregnant has no choice to correct his mistake and his only option is to pay or go to jail if she decides to keep it? Is that fairness and reproductive rights? I mean that's two reproductive rights women have that men don't. I can go all day.
Flipper79able 3 weeks ago
@Flipper79able well that is a genetic right isn't it? You can't just obligate a woman to go through an abortion just because you don't want to have the baby. When you have unprotected sex you are taking that responsibility. I don't know if in all cases the father has to pay for the baby. In that case that is something that could be better. It's ridiculous to say "when has a woman fought for men's right's" because people fight for things that affect them, I think it's pretty obvious.
sirdavies94 3 weeks ago
@sirdavies94 I just know that both women and men can be oppressed in different ways. Both men and women have things in society that may be unfair to them, but you don't see MEN's rights groups picketing places and placing a sticker on random women that say RAPIST. I just think a lot of hostility is directed towards men from women's groups blaming them....and yet men never get their own groups protesting unfair practices towards women. Men get involved in groups that are not gender specific.
Flipper79able 3 weeks ago
@Flipper79able Well I'm a man and I don't care if it is race, gender or whatever specific points of view, I will always support any movement that seeks for equality and justice.
sirdavies94 2 weeks ago
@Flipper79able If you had to carry the child to term, you would want the right to decide whether to go through with the pregnancy or not too. Because it would be YOUR body that had to go through with it. You have proven that you are a complete and utter mysogynist.
HappyColouredMarbles 2 weeks ago
@HappyColouredMarbles
It's kind of sad that people debate over who has the right to decide to euthanize a pre-natal child. They never include the child itself in the debate. It's kind of frustrating that people ignore the proto-human's interests entirely, focusing on what is preferable to adults on either of the issue.
It's a human life that is in question, and I wish people could treat that with the gravity that it deserves.
Jcolinsol 1 week ago
fuck science
MsPingu112 1 month ago
Men who beat women are courageous and brave.
Axlena 1 month ago
@Axlena finally someone who knows what he is talking about!
sirdavies94 4 weeks ago
lol she has a black eye
blakereecemason 1 month ago
@blakereecemason she is so clumsy. they should really watch those poorly placed doorknobs
drjonasson19 1 month ago
This is idiotic.
MegaWinnieGirl 1 month ago
yep everyone thought that i was beating my wife but it was just rocks shaped like fists being thrown out of a nearby window
m1c000l 1 month ago
Lol her broken arm! It's works perfectly! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
funnguns 1 month ago
omg a kitten wins a diving championship?
johnhimura1000 1 month ago
Sickeningly genius.
dnon75 1 month ago
This one's not so funny. It's too obvious they're just saying it cause they were beat up.
Japaneseanimeguy 1 month ago
My wife doesn't understand how poorly placed those doorknobs are.
rscare 1 month ago
LMFAO.. "Poorly placed doorknobs"
xxfantomthiefxx 1 month ago
Humor is one way of facing things we otherwise would never want to.
squamish4244 1 month ago
...now if only we weren't so clumsy
dsNightly 1 month ago
RIP Brandon.
odd0odium 2 months ago
This is BITING and acerbic satire. We feel uncomfortable watching it and that is the whole point. Because women DO NOT report domestic abuse and DO END UP STAYING with these pieces of shit who beat them. That is why this hits us so hard 00 exactly because it is true. The Onion is RUTHLESS, pure genius. I have been reading it since 1998. And yes, I am a female.
SavoyTruffle78 2 months ago 21
@SavoyTruffle78 Likewise for the men who stay with the pieces of shit who beat, and abuse them. Glad you brought this up.
patientzero532 7 hours ago
I dont think I have ever laughed harder at a youtube video
xxSpearMonkeyxx 3 months ago
Okay that was kind of funny but It's still messed up lol.
MegaWinnieGirl 3 months ago
stupid clumsy cows...
TheYouwontgetit 3 months ago
@TheYouwontgetit Stupid little troll.
mikekegger 3 months ago
@mikekegger ...that too...!!!
TheYouwontgetit 3 months ago
What about men that are abused
AuskaNeumaki 3 months ago 2
serious question: does 'domestic awareness month' really stop men from beating their wives? I mean, how does a purple ribbon keep people from hurting their significant other?
3rdsnowleopard 3 months ago
Great and so funny video)))
konstantintenko 3 months ago
One of the best I've seen. As a victim of someone who made up a domestic violence story, I'm all for it.
TheWaffle106 4 months ago
not funny
aqueenowlbee 4 months ago
@aqueenowlbee hilarious
MrClaytable 3 months ago
Some things just should not be joked about.
librarybob1958 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
im watching ALL of them so delicious...
space1patrick 4 months ago in playlist Season 1
So wrong ...
so, so wrong...
frearsond1 4 months ago
cannot laugh cannot laugh cannot laughcannot laugh cannotlaugh cannotlaughcannotlaugh cannotlaughcannotlaughcannotlaughcannotlaugh-- aw dammit.
jadeyes914 4 months ago
Every time my wife lays the smack down on me, I know it is because she loves me and I did something wrong. There is no domestic violence, in our marriage. I deserved everything I got. She uses ice in a sock to beat me. I thought that wasn't supposed to leave bruises. Oh well, I deserved it. Oh-Oh! Madam is not happy with the message I left. I better get the pillow case full of rocks ready for her. I love madam and I shouldn't cross her anymore.
UnfoundWay 4 months ago 47
@UnfoundWay i.... i want to help you
HitmanAssassin11 4 months ago
@HitmanAssassin11 Oh no. Madam will not hear of such blasphemy. I deserved everything I got.
UnfoundWay 4 months ago
@UnfoundWay Beta as fuck
MegaBlueZOMBIE 1 month ago
@UnfoundWay so what's stopping you from hitting her when she makes a mistake.
jamesdragonforce 3 weeks ago
best. news. ever
Parkourpurist89 4 months ago
How can the media much such statements? Domestic abuse does occur despite what some people have to say about it. News organizations need to do more research.
railtank 4 months ago in playlist Season 1
@railtank Or maybe you need to do more research. Look up SATIRE.
SexyFish660 4 months ago
very true, Onion. most domestically abused women don't report it as such.
..probably cause it's not as funny.
XD
KerouacDon 5 months ago
Their seriousness, and honestly more journalistic approach to news than fox. Make this shit just amazingly funny
killyoufor20 5 months ago 4
LOL....this is so wrong, but I can't help laughing my ass off
pitt15220 5 months ago
Why are women so clumsy?
PsychRed 6 months ago 22
LMFAO WOW!!! So bad, but too funny =_='
reegeena 6 months ago
"now if only we weren't so clumsy"
LomTang 6 months ago 2
Wait, what? Those womena re obviously getting beaten Are you guys that stupid? Call the cops!
Nah, jk <3 Good stuff Onion.
manga4428 6 months ago
@militia765 Well, just as long as you don't tie me up and beat me with a REAL bat.....of course, I would consider a Wiffleball bat, but I'd have to meet you, first.
Do you believe in love and abuse at first sight?
jamieblond1 6 months ago
Ha ha she's probably like 450 pounds.
Lennybrucelee13 6 months ago
Funny how this video has made the pond-life emerge.
sfHypernet 6 months ago
lolololololol
MrDelusionalPenguin 6 months ago
1:00 poor woman, she got herself a Harry Potter scar...
6684lillian 6 months ago
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optimaljar12Br 6 months ago
LMFAO...I feel so bad for laughing at this!!!
I LOVE the Onion!
NappyHeadJackie 6 months ago
@jamieblond1 the fact that your husband continues to abuse you is both his fault and your own. He for not being a real man and hitting a lady, and yours for not leaving him. File for divorce and get a restraining order. If you have no money, move in with a friend and get a job, if you have no friends, move in with your parents and get a job. Again, it is just as much his fault as yours.
Thegreekboy250 6 months ago
Can it still be funny if I don't laugh? it was very clever, but made me too sad to laugh.
Sei1863 7 months ago
LOLLLLLL HOW LAME!!! THEY MAKE ME LAUGH!!!!!!!!
ripmjhuma 7 months ago
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ALL WOMEN SHOULD BE BEATEN CONSTANTLY AND TREATED LIKE THE CUM DUMPSTERS THEY ARE
REALMENBASHTHEIRWIFE 7 months ago
@REALMENBASHTHEIRWIFE umm...
MrClaytable 7 months ago
@REALMENBASHTHEIRWIFE Uh-huh. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. You, sir, are a genius.
RandomPandaChick 7 months ago
@REALMENBASHTHEIRWIFE ...Smart, real witty.
Dumbass.
RLmediashow 7 months ago
Comment removed
LuciferDaFallenAngel 6 months ago
@REALMENBASHTHEIRWIFE >___>
pricture 6 months ago
lol i thought someone was going to make the kitchen joke??
MrBigEnchilada 7 months ago
these people can make anything funny even stuff you should go to hell for laughing at.
nintendaholic 7 months ago 145
@nintendaholic They're suppose to make you think, that's the purpose of irony portrayed this way. But still good for a laugh I guess :]
thong1995 6 months ago
Oh my fucking god!! where has the onion been all my life?! I love this channel!!
Nyx00avatar 7 months ago
has bad taste become good taste?
arcaniondeath666 7 months ago
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO
Nairababi 7 months ago
I find domestic abuse fucking hilarious
Fanatic2020 7 months ago
@Fanatic2020 Ditto.
MrBrilliantChaos 6 months ago
Omg i cant even laugh at this one!!! >< lol so saaaaad
COLLEGESTUDENT343 7 months ago
So bloody genius!
EmperorOfMars 7 months ago
@jamieblond1 i think you don't get the meaning of this Video. Its a parody of People who are abused, but say it was just a clumsy accident. Still, i also have criticism about it. Even though it is a well known fact tha One-Third of all people suffering from Domestik abuse are, in fact, Males. But they don't seem to Be representated here, do they?
GhostRider659 7 months ago
@GhostRider659
how the hell is that WELL known??! lmao! never even heard that.
COLLEGESTUDENT343 7 months ago
@COLLEGESTUDENT343 Ok then Maybe im the only Nerd who Looks at the wikipedia page of everything i See, but that's Not the point^^
GhostRider659 7 months ago
@GhostRider659 Are you really a ghost rider? And what do you ride, if I may ask?
jamieblond1 7 months ago
@jamieblond1 Im a Fan of H.A.W.X.^^ that's Why I Chose that nickname
GhostRider659 7 months ago
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wwwtotalitaerde 7 months ago
LMAO. "Next, a kitten wins the Honolulu cliff diving championship." XD
ginger89kid 7 months ago 66
@ginger89kid well you know what they say, cats always land on all fours...
MisterDyslexo 6 months ago
I beg to differ! Domestic abuse IS a problem in America,
I suffer from being abused by my husband, who skull-fucks me almost every day, and I have bruises all over my body from being tied up and beaten with a Wiffleball bat.
And btw, what's wrong with that woman with the black eye? They're obviously paying her a lot of money to tell those lies.
jamieblond1 7 months ago
@jamieblond1 Your husband is a lucky man. I wish I had a woman who let me tie her up and beat her with a wiffleball bat
Towelietowel 7 months ago
@Towelietowel You sound like you might be sicker than my husband :o)
jamieblond1 7 months ago
Half of American domestic abuse is perpetrated by women. It's not like there's any sort of gender disposition to it.
CommandoDude 8 months ago
You all dont need to be making jokes about women who are abused . Maybe you all need to be smacked around to see how it feels.
isoeffinheartyou 8 months ago
Trolling News Network
darfunkelidas 8 months ago
@nrambold well its okay if they die first and they are your size. And if they have a nice car you know...
Cwolfgal 8 months ago
Omg this is so fucking hilarious but so true. People in this situation often just deny that it is even happening.
dbfan2scfan 8 months ago
poorly placed doorknobs..ya man those are everywhere
mikeyjs6 8 months ago
This is so funny and so terrible at the same time. Love it.
H1sMaj3sty 8 months ago
I burst out laughing when he said the kitten won the cliffdiving contest, then my mother hit me and told me to shut up. This video is the cause of domestic abuse
undertyped1 8 months ago
KITTEN!!! :-)
JNS033 8 months ago
Now if only we weren't so clumsy.
HAHAHAHA
@ coolwater55 A friend of mine that got abused by her boyfriend just pissed herself laughing at this so stfu and get a sense of humor. If it's not what you like... LEAVE.
This is hilarious and brilliantly thought out
VomitShovel 8 months ago
@VomitShovel
A neighbour of my sister's eventually got MURDERED after taking years of mild to severe abuse. So I think your comment is out of line.
As for the "friend " of yours that got abused? She is sick, and she should not have been laughing, she should learn to not fall for men who abuse.
If she is still with the guy, she is sick and being controlled spiritually and emotionally and physically by this man.
He is severe problems and should get help. IMHO.
coolwater55 8 months ago
@coolwater55 Haha that's even funnier. Forgive me if i have no sympathy for stupid women who stay with men who abuse them. There's always a smarter way and THAT is why my friend can laugh at how stupid she was to take it. And the whole satire of the video is pointing to the funny fact that women will defend their wifebeater husbands at no cost. It's a joke. Lighten up. Don't be so quick to try find something wrong with anything you don't like then express a biased limited opinion
VomitShovel 8 months ago
@VomitShovel I would like you to take a walk in anothers shoes someday and maybe you will find that not everything is as simple as you may have thought
Cwolfgal 8 months ago
@coolwater55 Why do you watch The Onion? I totally agree that this video isn't the funnier around, but just don't watch The Onion if you don't like satire, that all this channel is about anyway...
TwaletBrush 8 months ago
they give the gayest news in the history of gay news
emboproductions97 8 months ago
... If only we weren't so clumsy... Lol
viktorbublic 8 months ago
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WilmaXane 9 months ago
The funny part is that the women are probably the ones who are beating up their husbands....I don't trust a women in a suit.
MrKibbles2268 9 months ago
They just wouldn't shut up!
franknitty45 9 months ago
Would have been funnier if they spent the whole video only showing one side of her face, and then at the end they show that she has a huge mark on her face.
jamasianman 9 months ago 2
Holy shit...this made me laugh so hard it hurts.
MoneyIsSilver 9 months ago
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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice :P
darkmarvel 9 months ago 46
@darkmarvel Domestic abuse- because a man should never repeat himself.
Explosiveelm 9 months ago
@darkmarvel what does a woman with two black eyes do after she makes supper?
the fuckin dishes
trevortes 9 months ago
@darkmarvel I'm disgusted that you and a significant amount of other people find this humorous.
ReigningHugz 7 months ago
@darkmarvel What do you tell a woman with 3 black eyes? not to bring her mother into it next time.
youdog12345 7 months ago
These scientists are quick learners.
Youtuuuber 10 months ago
This is so Fucked up ! Swing an a Miss, ONIONHEAD
korymic 10 months ago
@korymic its the onion they did worse videos before this.
TonPappa 10 months ago
Taking into consideration that more than 50% of all domestic abuse is perpetrated by women against men, this slips from the ironic into the ridiculous.
pTheReaper 10 months ago
@pTheReaper
Where did you get that statistic?
Ranecia 9 months ago
This video makes me laugh and feel bad at the same time wtf =S
painkillerzman 10 months ago
Ahahahahhahahah this is so true
iateyourmuffinz 10 months ago
This is sooo true.
Type59 10 months ago
haha stupid whores
WanderleiCornell 10 months ago
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All those women should be in the kitchen making their husband a sammich.
pinoyboy579 10 months ago 47