51 Jokes (in Four Minutes) -www.earljr.info

[MrUsername2164]

why did the chicken cross the road.............to get to the other,........slide hahaha

what happend when the cat got punch .....................he said meowwww

why did the nerd eat hollipinios?. to be as hot as megen fox

what did the monkey do when he got locked in a matress store? he slept on the floor.

what do you call a deer with no eyes.? no efing ideer

why did the monster run away? because he saw ur moms face

[flexo144]

so theres a cat sitting with a pennis and the cat goes my life sucks the penis says why well my owner uses the same litter box as me and the penis says at least you dont get stuffed in some sort of bag and stuffed into a dark tunnel

[suchadambidiot]

theif....

[PHATkidd14]

wanna hear a joke? womens rites!

[emoreathy]

@PHATkidd14 wanna hear a joke? ur penis size

[MusicMaster144]

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

It felt crummy.

[poucka]

jew want a pancake lol

[TheyFinallyGotMe]

lol, love the biology puns. XD

[hockeyplaya131]

Why'd they change Princess Toadstool's name to Princess Peach?

Nobody wanted to save that little shit.

[buffalobanditsrock]

Ur mom goes to collage

[spongebob656]

u suck

[kumapaws376]

All of these jokes are sooo clever...very nice !!! :<)

[ashleyster13]

What black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?

A penguin rolling down a hill.

What's black and white and laughing?

The penguin that pushed him.

[toystoryowns5]

what do you call a black guy that is not a gangster?

a white guy

[toystoryowns5]

what do you call a black guy playing bingo.

blingo

[toystoryowns5]

what is black and smells like cheese?

a black guy who just farted.

whats black but is laughing?

the black guy who smelled the fart

[Bmeinemusic]

Texan: Where are you from?

Harvard grad: I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.

Texan: Okay where are you from, jackass?

[FrankBottazzo]

what's red and smells like blue paint?

[metalmouths15798]

lol this is SO stupid that its actually kinda funny!!! LoL

[sportzkid12]

How do you keep a black guy from drowning?

Take your foot off his head

What did god say when he made the first black guy?

Damn i burnt one!

and no im not racist

[highendassassin13]

the penguin one is my favorite lol

[bsguitarguy2]

ur dumb

[InATrance89]

man pleease make another those are hilarious

[darknessdeath12]

What language does a gay Jew speak? Heblew.

[Robinator23]

That is freaking hilarious!!!

[erinXevacuation]

whats is black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white... a penguin rolling down the hill.

whats black and white and laughing... the penguin that pushed him.

bahaa xD

[ManderBrat]

Whats green and red and spins around really fast?

A frog in a blender.

[sk8happy95]

bwahahaha

[MaartjeZzZ]

I like it :)

[Deshbaud]

what do you call a dog with no legs?

doesn't matter. it's still not going to come.

[czcgllc]

What do you call a COW that jumped over a barbed wire fence? An "Utter" disaster.

What do you call a COW that just gave birth to a baby COW? "Decaffinated"

And the final joke....

What do you call an Epileptic COW? "Beef Jerkey"

[czcgllc]

My favorite COW jokes...

What do you call a COW with no legs?

Why would you call him... ? He can't come.  No, really you call him "Ground Beef"

Where do you find a COW with no legs? Right where you left him.

What do you call a COW with two legs? "Lean Beef"

Where does Dragon milk come from? The COW with no legs..

[czcgllc]

SpunkRansom23 didn't quite get it right...

The joke goes like this:

"How to you catch a Unique rabbit?.... Unique up on him...."

"So how do you catch a Tame rabbit?.....Tame way."

You don't use the word "same".. and you don't repeat that unique up on him... it's understood when you simply say, "tame way".

[rabidbunny101]

What happens when 4 gay guys walk into a bar and there's only 1 chair?

They flip it over and sit ong the legs.

XD

[mattman040593]

Whats the Difference between a terrorist and a pissed off women?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

[SpunkRansom23]

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house?

Neither did she.

Why was Helen Kellers' leg yellow?

Her dog was blind too.

What does Helen Keller say when she falls off a cliff?

*make random sign language motions quickly*

[SpunkRansom23]

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

Unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?\

The same way. Unique up on it.

[Colberto568]

nice hahahahaha

[archerkid932]

lmfao!!

[sexciiMamma]

whats da only question u can neva answer.... r u sleepin??????????????

[SeriousRetail91]

unless its

"Are you sleeping?"

"No"

[behindthesky15]

yeah you can.

q) Are you sleeping.

a) No, im still awake.

[good2Batapdancer]

sry to post twice in a row but i just thought of a few jokes my friend told me

What is green and has four wheels?

grass i was kidding about the wheels

and

What do grapes and a cow have in common?

they're both purple (except for the cow)

[samg1277]

you sound like my friend.

[lpfreak1192]

dudee those are retarded but theyre awesome

[good2Batapdancer]

AWESOME!!! sry i dont hav a joke but u rock!

[Jellyclops]

wats green has 4 legs and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?

a pool table

[H0CKeyISMylife]

What did the male golfer say to the female golfer?

After 18 holes I can barely walk.

[semushj]

why'd the turkey lose it's feather's? Because it got hit by a car. Why'd it get hit by a car? Because it crossed the road. Why'd it cross the road? Because the other turkey called it a chicken!!

[rivreaper666]

lol

[pokeclub3]

here is a joke whats the difference between a snowwomen and snow man

snow balls =] lol

[Friaos09]

why did the cat put her kittens in the bin

Becuase u cant leave litter lyin round

[livingdemondrummer]

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red

depends on how hard you throw em

[giggleslawl]

i love you. youre amazing. please do more of these!

[JoDad22]

Dude you F**KING ROCK!

Awesome work! keep it up, i've never laffed so hard, i think i blew a gasket.

[mellenu82]

What do you call a fish with no eyes? FSSSSSHHHHH!

[goinggreen3]

OMG, these are sooo funny!  hahaha

[fullmetalelimental]

2 guys walked into a bar......

the third one ducked

[rogersgeordieboy]

not as gud as ur other one i have to say coz the other one is sooooo funny!!!

[UltimateSteelersFan9]

what did a guy say after he was shot in the butt.

assinine

[darkmandouglas]

what do women and rocks have in common?

if theyre flat you can skip em

[MarryandLarry]

why is 6 afraid of 7 ...7 8 9 aha

[puppies21616]

wats black, white, and and red all over?

an oreo cake that some kid bit into and lost his tooth in

[BobelVago]

Just no.

[BALLETxLUVR]

wat do vegitarian zombies eat? graiiiins :)

[stardancerkills]

there are two cupcakes in an oven. one cupcakes goes "man its hott in here." the other cupcake says "wow! a talking cupcake!"

its a really dumbass joke but for some reason i think its hilarious. im the only one tho lol.

[tcampbellla]

No, that's is hilarious! I concur!

[lpfreak1192]

youre not alone mayne

[PauloPelle14]

What did the penis say to the condom?

Cover me, I'm going in.

[elefante0z]

how do you tell if your local pychic is blind?

If she tries to bend a fork

[dillyj]

a guy walked into a bar OUCH!

[memphiselle]

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interup. MOO!!!!

[DeeGreenified]

That's always been my favorite joke LOL

[BenjaminIdle]

Two drums and a symbol walk off a cliff!

Budum tss

[LegoManiacLM]

Whats black, white, and red all over?

a zebra in a blender

Whats black, white, and read all over?

a newspaper

[kujhawk17]

how does the pirate get his ears pirced he pays a buccaneer

[kujhawk17]

whats black white and red (well 2 answers)

a penguin with a rash

or

a zebra with a cut

[raptorinator]

knock knock

whos there?

interrupting mime

interrupting mime who?

(nothing)

[Gmang2g]

Why cant Hellen Keller drive?

Because shes a woman

[indoorin]

after a bombing raid in iraq intended to kill sadam a meeting was called for his seven look alikes in the metting they were told there's good news and bad news, the good news is that sadam is alive the bad news is that he lost a arm and a leg.

[arishatkin]

what did one muffin say to the other muffin in the oven?

AAAAAAAA a talking muffin

[arishatkin]

whats the difference beetween a teacher and a train? the teacher says spit out your gum but the train says choochoo

[koltech41]

what black and white and red

a skunk in a blender

[plusleandminus]

why cant pirets play cards?

because the captin is always on the deck.

[CrazyWoWGamer]

how do you fit 51 jokes into 4 minutes?

ask Hank to do it for you ^^

[JohnnyRainey]

Why did the teddy bear drop the fork?

Because he didnt have any hands!

[UltimateSteelersFan9]

my cousin swallowed some coins and we took him to the hospital.

When I called the hosital to check up on him. The nurse said," There hasn't been change yet.

[koltech41]

what is the best phone for a emo guy

a razor

[koltech41]

i wish my grass wass emo

y

becuaes it s cuts its self

[Tomjeremiah]

what is bruce lee's favorite drink?

WATAAAA!!!!

[koltech41]

2 people r having sex one was fat and one was skinny why did the sex only last for 5 seconds

because the fat one ate him

[mashmods]

are you high?

[smileebirdy101]

lmao haha good one

[penhamster]

Wanna hear a joke? sure. WOMAN RIGHTS HAHAHAHAA

[skidd16]

hmmmm.........why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

to get to the other size.

how do you play leap frog with a porcupine?

very carefully.

[moeinatorx3]

hahahahaaa (:

[reynoldsmk1996]

wow that wuz hilarious! u should ttly make another one! i cant think of any jokes right now but i'll keep thinking!

[savannahmatthews]

this is really funny XD i like the seagull 1!!!! a lot. i also like the snoop dogg 1

what do you call a pig that knows karate?

a pork chop!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

[josh4anyt]

piss funny :D

[purplebananas54]

why did a kid fall off his bike?

someone threw a fridge at him.

[koltech41]

that one is stupid :(

[gorgasha]

went to a party and we were all feeling pretty merry, but then merry left so we had to jump for joy....

being Canadian my favorite joke is George Bush...just the fact that he exists, hilarious

[bellywubble]

Q> How do you make a hankie dance?

A> You put a little boogie in it

[studmuffins4ever4732]

hilarious!

[tcampbellla]

FIRST!.........That's funny!  Good job!

[magliadoro]

had to pause halfway to catch my breath, too funny!

[youngr33zyalldai]

whtas brown nd red brown nd red brown nd red nd brown nd red,a black man daht was stab,wuts brown a with a knife nd laughing,the man who killed him

[tika4ever]

racist!

[tcampbellla]

Porque?

[ProjectAmazing]

thats stupid

[xJEraz]

What do you do if you have Po (the panda from Kung FU Panda . ) as a pokemon and has a bad shin.

Give it a Poshin.

[PeterTheNigerian]

what do you get when you mix a pie with a rat?

a pirate!!

haha i that up myself

[izzyis2cool4school]

once a bear and a rabbit hated each other SO much! One day a fairy came and gave them both 3 wishes. The bear said, I wish that i was the only male bear in the forest, and all the rest are female.The rabbit said i want a motorcycle helmet. The bear said, i want to be the only male bear in the U.S. The rabbit said I want a motocycle. The bear said, i want to be the only male bear in the world! The bear had used up all his wishes. The rabbit had one wish left and said. I wish that bear was gay.

[14DrunkYeti41]

a man gets shot what happened to him

he died

[amustard1]

two muffins are in a oven

as it gets hotter and hotter one muffin turns to the other one and says "ahhh we're being cooked"

the other muffin turns to first muffin and says

"ahhhh Talking muffin"

[xomaryxo20]

AHAHAHA ble-ach

[RedPill2222]

Two olives were on a table one fell and the other said "Whoa whoa dude are you ok??" the one that fell said, "Olive!"  haha. like "I'll live"

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.

[trapperkeeper6845]

what did the Mushroom say to the Celery? Hey, I'm a Fun, guy!

[kartracr2]

wats the smallest muscle is a billy goats ass ...... ur dick .... haha

[1synystermofo]

dick is tissue...hence the reason it engorges with blood...

[trapperkeeper6845]

holy crap so funny

[lovinlifetothedeath]

baaahahahahahah

[Callie0h]

bow chicka bow wow!

brownchicken browncow!

[Callie0h]

What are the two sexiest farm animals?

a brown chicken, and a brown cow.

Because when you mix them together you get:

Brownchicken BrownCow! (say it like a bad porno music.)

[Machele26]

LMAO thats awsome

[democlesv10]

this is funny shit, and im not from an english speaking country :D