Protecting and Maintaining Your Heterosexual House of Cards

[SpringWaterMassives]

my wang wants your wang

[dymondusic]

i dont want to be gay anymore.

[spotsycool]

wow, that was incredibly weird..but incredibly funny! xD thumbs up!

[lduych]

How on earth are homosexuals ending the human race?

After all, homosexuals come from the same heterosexuals who are overpopulating our world to the tune of 6.7 billion and rising, exponentially!

A catholic retorted, Yeah, but what if everyone were homosexual?

To which I replied, Yeah, and what if everyone were a priest or nun?

ROTFL

[Chrisindapurplehouse]

we also call each othe fag often for the same reason it also balances out the babe

[Chrisindapurplehouse]

days

[Chrisindapurplehouse]

me and my guy mates call each other babe its kinda supposed to be ironic but also it shows our caring so that makes it meta most thinks are meta these

[regulushero]

It sounded a lot straighter when he said "sweetie pass the chips." If he told me "dude pass the chips" like he did in that video I would have passed him some fist to his face instead.

[95ConorOd]

@napoleontak I personnaly don't but I'll give you what my friends who do say: They say that they do it not because their gay but because that's their gender identity because sexuality and gender identity are completely different : Sexuality:Who or what you're sexually attracted to, Gender Identity:How you view your own gender regardless of your body as gender's a mental thing rather than physical

[Quinibus]

Whole lotta win in this video.

[f0reverdirt]

Duuuude.. wait, what? O_o

[Jynx215]

this is hilarious. its so true!

most heterosexual boys are so dumb.

[d8wf8]

Seriously hilarious. Made of 100% win. :)

[darknessofkrish]

Dude? I use dude like 5 times paying for my coffee and asking for a cheeze n chicken taquito at the 7/11

Guess my friends are right I am a fag.

[jcljockey]

Too funny.

[Bazil]

heh i've sat next to my male friend and never though anything about it.

[KarinMikazuki]

@Bazil

Stop pretending ; )

[LovelessLittleUchiha]

Does it also work if they call their buddies, "Bro" instead of "Dude" ?

[napoleontak]

i understand homosexuals but why do they just show it to everyone? i mean, they will walk right in front of you and kiss or slap each others butts and ect. i mean alot of heteros dont do that to thier girl in public unless theyre like college kids and stuff. but tell me this, why do you like to talk like a girl and wear girl clothes? if your going to do all that than become a transvastite. and if you are an tras, stop trying to pick up straight guys lol.

[95ConorOd]

@napoleontak I hope that's sarcasm

[napoleontak]

@95ConorOd damn that was a dick comment i did. but i understand where i was coming from. but i still dont understand why you wear female clothing even if you are homosexual.

[leeason1]

Who gives a fuck how people sit on the bus you fucking idiot? People can sit however the fuck they want. If you don't like it, go fuck yourself.

[ProgramMagician]

The hand note trick works like a charm!

[moneyquickeasy]

"Did you witness last night's sporting event?" "Yes I witnessed it. It was epic." "That looked totally natural." LMAO, that one cracked me up! :D

[taytelukas]

awesome...

[CarylCake]

That was awesome... Not what I was expecting, either.

[bluespringwater]

Ahahahahaha, wow.

[pepcycool]

Yow Dude! ... Kiss me! hahaha /...

[verso69]

this is real heterosexual live and behaviour! brilliant!

[touristtam]

Dude ! XD

[InXanadu2]

The seating on buses and at movies is strictly an American phenomenon.

[syll0g1sm]

same thing happens here in Australia.

[someone6878]

they r not making out if u look closely u can see

[SomeBlueNowhere]

Yeah, it looked more like they were just sort of burying their heads in each other's shoulders. xD

[gsnoop]

real men were fine with their sexuality... they never considered any -now considered gayish- sporting behaviors as awkward (wrestling, american football, rugby...etc)... until gays came along and startled them into a phobia...

can you remember when it socially acceptable to bash a fag.... god i miss those times.

[XxgamerdavexX]

you and me both buddy

[volcomfaggot]

your a fag

[jingles22]

I love the fact that the ad next to this is for an all gay cruise.

XD

[therealCanablisS]

i no eh

[Shino686]

wonderful

[theonewiththeface922]

Sweetie, pass the chips.

[Zeroxius]

Roflmao WANGZ

[AutomataAristotelico]

Hey you´re really great. Smart sarcastic humor...the world needs more of it.

[Kostaver]

i gotta stop saying dude... SHIT!

[portuguesebastard21]

WANGZ lol! Anyway i dont give a shiet about homophobes especialy since i'm gay im here and im fucking proud and if anyone trys to mess with me they will get their face smashed against a window.

[blotterbook]

hahah so good! i'm subbing :)

[oscaringolilingo]

Funny and true. Everyone has a little gayness inside, just let it all out already people!

[wreckles84]

damb thats funny pretty true too

[TheDoomBunny]

Hilarious

[CreateCreateYours]

"No sword fights with George",lol.

[MaximA014]

your vids are epic..yep, i'm subscribing! lolz

[goldliquid]

oh man the make out scene killed me ._.

...NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH HOMOSEXUALITY

[sunsdomain]

Just about the best thing I've seen on YouTube. ...Actually that isn' t much of a compliment, is it? Then how about: Just for a change, this is truly incisive, witty, and generous-spirited. Does my heart good.

P.S. One of the previous comments has the greatest Freudian slip ever: "it is a satyr, but yes unfortunately it is true in some cases "... check your dictionary firmly6 and you can laugh too ;-) (notice how I didn't say "dude")

[HeavenNewRevelation]

I have posted on this site a video entitled "Heterosexuality is a Sickness", explaining how heterosexuality is a sickness.

[OdetoWode]

Good job! I like how you don't sound sarcastic in the least and do the whole thing with such seriousness.

[LadyJeje]

hahahaha summm stupid funny shit. I like the humor in this satire..well done boys!

[wolfheart1979]

Fucking awesome! Their good!

[8thArmada]

i think, if u try really hard, you could do a Jack Black version of this.. lolz..

[Drunkenvalley]

Know what'd be awesome?

...If you reuploaded this into the proper 16:9 or 16:10 format that YouTube uses. XD

Still, it rocks.

[RayZR]

SKBaneTek, this is satire of homophobic media. Let me contexualize this:

Just because Stephen Colbert satirizes US policies doesn't mean he thinks the US should be supporting Al Qaeda (or who ever it is they're shooting these days).

[fredlovagroup]

im just saying, being gay is wrong. with mor and mor people accepting homosexuality, they r basically saying they accept that these people r ending the human race bcuz of gay ppl having no descendants!

[RayZR]

How on earth are homosexuals ending the human race? It's not like they're going on a crusade to obliterate heterosexuality. More a campaign for homosexual rights. Seriously, I'm sure all homosexuals just want to be left alone, and the campaign for homosexual rights is proof of that.

I don't doubt that there will always be more heterosexuals than homosexuals.

[oscaringolilingo]

That yuckiness you mention is a social imposition, and you bought into it, how lame.

[leeason1]

@RayZR If homosexuals "just want to be left alone" they can stop shoving their agenda down my throat and keep their rainbow flags at home.

[GodCreatesGays2]

Leeason1, what DO you want gays to shove down your throat?

Hmmm?

[Gay4U1979]

@GodCreatesGays2 ... Is that a trick question? lol

[GodCreatesGays2]

Gay4U1979, it must at least be a TRICKY question, because, as you'll notice, Leeason1 was too cowardly or confused to answer it. :)

[ironhawk10000]

@RayZR TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

wow...thats pathetic..

[Nixas]

dude!

[xXFr0gXx]

HOLY SHIT ITS JACK BLACK!!! Jk heh.

[artvandelay13]

lol "sweetie, pass the chips..."

[WamyWofieBear]

hahahah, oh man! I love your videos.

[mogulwraith]

I have been trying to say exactly this to my buddy, err i mean this dude I kick it with, unfortunately it always lends to eye contact! So now I can just set down my laptop and say "Dude, check this out" and punch him in the arm.

[heretoentertainyou]

I hate to be a negative ned, but this video is actually kind of offensive. sorry :)

[dubccatz]

GENiUS.

obey the WANGZ functions.

hah.

[aspirepixel]

dude that was awesome..

I mean, buddy, that was--

err...

Great job, straight like arrow!

[mynameisnotanumber]

Don't make out with your buddy!

[paulrodriguezart]

bro,,you are not giving any substance in your videos,,just a poor excuse to post yourself and "admire" your robotic mind process,, i can tell your mind lives your life, so sad!! snap out of it "DUDE"!!

[Vid4Kyla]

As opposed to someone NOT letting their mind live their life? *ahem* You might consider letting your mind in on your posts a little more often.

[Vid4Kyla]

That was a reply to paulrodriguezart

[purplerainatsunset]

Why verbally refer to each other at all? Why not just blow kisses? Guy on guy amicable conversation is pretty gay to begin with, amirite?

Not sure what you're saying with this one. You make me feel like the "house of cards" comment was sarcastic but how do you verify internet sarcasm, anyway?

[xxyox]

LOL.

[iwasjustthere]

lol.

[driftoner]

yea when my and my friends faces get to close bad things happen

[elementalpowerstar]

"Did you witness last night's sporting event?"

"Yes, I witnessed last night's sporting event. It was epic."

[Rodgmeister]

That was awesome.

[PyroMikeHell]

Very informative. To help maintain the wangz while on a vehicle the only has row seating (such as a wheelchair friendly bus with the wide isle and the chairs with your back to the window) place your backpack/breifcase between you and your buddy and look directly forward when talking... no eye contact. Not to mention keeps your carryon safe from pickpockets.

[treyfixx]

Wicked wideo :D

[migueldelodz]

DUDE! The same "problem" we have in Poland but insted of a word dude we use "stary" which means the same thing :) I laughed 5 minutes after youre clip xD Amazing stuff! Keep it up,I'm waiting for more!

[DarkAn1ma]

Admitting you're antiheterosexual(aka. bi, gay, lesbian) requires balls, or a lot to drink.

I've never been shamed of my bi-sexuality, I have been totally honist, even pride, about it from the day I realized it myself.

What comes to so called "homophobics" that post around these videos, they're actually normal 11-13 years old inmature mass-pre-teens, or retarded rednecks who haven't really had the chance to grow brains just yet. They'll most likely come around when they grow up, ignore them.

[lejink]

this house of card video applys more when uv got straight guys around a gay or bisexual guy. u dont wanna be a prick but u dont wanna look like a fag either :S awkward

[aworldofviolets]

I sit on my best friends lap.

[fashnek]

Thank you so much! Thanks to your video, I never go more than a couple of hours without thinking about WANGZ. Now I know I'll always be safely straight!

[artvandelay13]

lol "Don't make out with George!"

[FirstPostFTW]

FIRST ...to be 200

[Susho1985]

YOU ROCK

[ForgottenSouls666]

I say Dude Alot...

Except im Bi..

Will i get thumbs down for admiting it...

thats the fun part

[Denamic]

Admitting it requires balls, which is ironically manlier than acting straight.

[rivetgeek]

As long as yer a chick is OOOOOO-K. Says so right in the bible.

[KNrockin]

DUDE!

[twoplusoneisthree]

oh my god I love you so much!

made me smile, then laugh, then smile, than laugh... loud.

:D

[YouToobPresident]

That was well done man.. pretty funny stuff

[jimizm]

What font do you use in this video?

[alexclamations]

Helvetica

[TechnoHamster]

I thought I was the only gay dude that does the dude thing.

[rmeddy1]

Alex Albrecht lol

[BushSuxAss]

lame. steven tyler and joe perry are always all over each other and they r not gay. dumb straight boys. scourge of the earth...

[cacaselebro]

people who worry about being gay to much r gay-

[wimsey70]

That is hilarious! Thank you for the laughs.

[Pzgraf]

HAHAHA, my most homophobic friend uses the word "dude" all the time, actually he's the only one I know who does :P

[deinem]

You're like a funny version of Ben Gibbard.

[kirby1]

Nice compliment! :)

[Eropiro]

Hahaha... So funny!

[StephenStinson]

OMG!! That was fucking hilarious! I'm about to post that to more than one MySpace comment box... here we go = )

[UltraSimon007]

I HAS NEW GUIDELINES! :D

[mateoontherocks]

This is HYSTERICAL. Brilliant satire on hegemonic masculinity.

[irgy709]

that you used the phrase "hegemonic masculinity" makes me profoundly happy.

[freak1945]

Wow.THATS a gay comment, dude.

[DocHammerFan]

5/5 Too damn funny!

...dude.

[missevavavoom]

I often tell my hetero friends that making out with other dudes is not gay unless you do it like... a lot.

[lostfreak71]

Dude wangz is awesome... Dude!!!

FLIPPING funny... Haha... lol

Dude...

[TheDaftMonk]

My favourite web video. Thanks so much Mistah Ferguson!

[DemitriusSinclair]

Ha! Love Kiryby's videos. And this one is classic.

[micr0chip1]

Brilliant.

[RavnoUK]

dude xD

[PaintballMask]

...I don't know how many times I've said 'dude' to my friend Logan.

<_<!!

UH OHES.

[Raphaelus13]

lol

[11MagickMoon16]

*dies of laughter* Fantastic!

WANGZ.

[phrawzty]

The editing job is spot on - well done.

[randomvideosofme]

Wow u are funny Duuuuuuuuuude :D

[timxcampbell]

Nice editing.

[pansatyrson]

GENIUS!!! Horrifying, but GENIUS nonetheless!

[CamdenBloke]

omg, i do that stuff

[liriano728]

funny lol

[Xaixis]

Haha, kirby1's videos are amazing. He always makes me laugh, another good video buddy. Keep it up!

[kirby1]

Thank you!

[andristic]

amazing video!!

[brianepetty]

This video is pure gold.

[ghrpdx]

Frequent use of the word dude is also an indication that you might be from the west coast. Not just gay, dude. (-:

[b12nd0n]

dude...

[b12nd0n]

dude...

[andristic]

dude!

[tyzxej]

DUUUUUUUUDDDEEE!!!!!

[jussts]

Yes, I witnessed it. It was epic.

[steadfastcoward]

You're out of beer, dude.

[1422663090]

Yeah, this video is pretty accurate. I'am not too sure about the whole "dude" thing though

[danagirl23]

LMAO!!!!

[XxPnuemaxX]

I gotta show this to every guy at kickboxing class... especially Isaac and Steve... Steve called ME dude once! WTF I AM A GIRL!

[steadfastcoward]

It's an unwritten code for I want you but you just kicked my ass.

[bigtdawg69]

geez my gaydar's going off here....

[lovesdarthmaul]

omig! its truuuuueeee

*GASP*

i think ill pay attention to this now...

[brainstew232]

I don't see why one would feel the need to make sure people know for a fact without a doubt that they aren't gay. Being gay isn't the end of the world, or even a bad thing for that matter.

[backslashZ]

so that means the ninja turtles are gay???

[steadfastcoward]

No, they are MUTANTS. Mutants are an unknown and socially ambiguous and usually seen as redeeming agents to mankind. They don't have sex but they have good pizza.

[bipolarbear911]

oh man, thats funny.

[versonova]

great work . . . more please.

[frozndude]

Lol, right on.

[crbnated]

Hey! here's some fresh one's,

Try urinal etiquette, or the handshake with a one armed hug thing, or the guy who does "observational humor" thing but using subjects that have been worn to a fragile little nub,

Oh wait you're doing that one already.

[damnedandthedoomed]

So true. Where are your videos, crbnated, the ones that are better than this one?

[crbnated]

Hold on, I'll go to Comedy Central's website and start downloading videos.

[damnedandthedoomed]

crbnated

I dig that you want to hack on things. So do I. But the guy you're hacking on did work for this. Critique isn't work. Presentation is.

[frederix44]

Very good!

Exactly the same as in England, but instead of saying 'dude' they will say, 'oi', 'oi mate' or 'oi bruv'. :D

[JanesKid64]

*sigh* I think Im in love

[xMUSICrunstheBEATx]

lmao, you heteros are so funny. XD

[LittleBoiFen]

Love it.

[EYEsoFLY]

lmao nice vid. and wow bigshado actually believes in that bullshit. everyone lol at him

[jimjimereeya]

Oh yes, almost forgot. If it has been a real long time since our last "date" with a woman, our sexual orientation may be questioned. (the horror!) - Just wondering, though. If you haven't "been" with a guy in a long time, do your gay friends accuse you of being straight?

[art101tv]

Hey, jimjimereeya. Funny reply... but be careful when you use the "fag" word. That word still stings a bit and might be misinterpreted. Ummm... the short answer to your query (pun intended) is: NO. My friends (both gay and straight) never confuse my lack of dating with misplaced heterosexual tendencies.

[jimjimereeya]

Sorry about the fag thing - but I had to use some kind of pejorative in that sentence to bring just the right amount of irony to make the sentence even slightly funny. - Now the video, that was real funny.

[LumpyHippo]

Dude. What's that font in the beginning