You Can't Kill The Rooster

[DatSlowpoke]

YEEEEEAAAHHHH THEY COME TO SNUFF THE ROOSTER! AWWW YEEAAAH!! YA KNOW HE AINT GONNA DIIIIIEE!!!!!!

Couldn't resist :}

[MrNewkingjames]

I know why you cant kill the rooster but never say cant say should not

[naruthenarcicist]

yes, just yes

[jfulbright]

Did you know we do this at home! I've read almost every Sedaris story we could get out loud to my husband, voices and all. "Rooster" is one of the best. The look on my husband's face when I yelled, "Bitch, what you need is some mutherfu**in' p**sy!!" is something I'll never forget.

[pnice000]

looks like David from the neck up

[jewelgazer]

I liked how you couldn't stop laughing at times!  Thank you.

[JessicaW71970]

the rooster lives on!

[CriticalListener]

I think I bought and gave away seven copies of "Me Talk Pretty One Day" when that paperback came out. This was one of my favorite stories. Thanks for reading and posting it!

[Showaholic]

enjoyed the reading. love the book.

[longfootbuddy]

they think its funnier than i do...much funnier

[guanetote]

read another please...

[almostalice64]

I looooved this! Thanks for reading. :D

[kilwi389]

this is one of my fav Sedaris' stories. so funny

[Shinbunkisha]

Favorite Sedaris story ever!

[peregrinusnoctis]

Thank God for people who can still write well, and Thank God for people who still read aloud to others.

Excellent job. This is my favourite of Sedaris's tales. We all have our Roosters, and they keep our lives interesting!

[AAtchison1]

That's one of my favorite Sedaris stories!!! You read it extremely well. 6 to 8 Black Men and Rooster at the Hitchin' Post also top the list.

[excursustoo]

Thanks! Love it!

[ShenaLilBit]

This apsolutely hilarious! and the reader haha :P

good shit!

[BluthFunke]

This is great! You look like a younger, buff David. YUM!

[BELLAomg]

No I meant Laugh!!! hahaha soryy

[BELLAomg]

LOVE THE BOOK. Your voice is funny!

[glacierbake]

Nice reading . this too, is one of my favorites. I have listened to David's audio books so many times I feel that I grew up in that family...he truely is the Mark Twain of our time. a rock star... Check out the new "when you are engulfed in flames"

[llylabrat2]

omg. this is the first time i have heard of david sedaris and YOU need to do his audio books! complete with your laughing.

[TheKaiserW]

I am the eggman, you are the eggman, I am the Rooster

[MrPwnag3]

some motherfucker told me to get the fuck out of his motherfucking face, so i said "fuck off fuckface".

[willberb]

Reading David Sedaris is toungh because he reads his stuff all the time so its difficult for other readers in comparison.

[TheRealSchwag]

If anyone likes David Sedaris, you should check this guy out:

The Life Articles ddott ccomm

HILARIOUS!!

[sniperNInja8000]

lol

[beaEval]

Hahahaha.. oh God, I'm so happy this is up, i thought i was the only one who loved david sedaris in this sad, weird world

[plantguy666]

you can't kill the rooster, motherfucker.

[gobigorgotobed]

SOOOOOOOOOooo Glad you guys enjoy this as much as I do... Thing is, all of us, (especially us middle kids!?) have these stories to tell. So true, SO funny, SOooo Surreal. SOOOO "Some mother fucker... all lop sided and shit for the fuckin' holidays. "What happened do ya think happened next bitch?!" ...and what happened next? "...I'm guessin' he stopped when he was mother fuckin* Done!"

[cqsallie]

Just damned amazing! You can read a David Sedaris essay at the kitchen table and have everybody in convulsions of laughter.

Reading David Sedaris is the new, cool way to make the party work!!!!

Sooooo cool!

Sallie

[originaldylan]

I just read the new book, it's amazing

[anotherxdreamxwasted]

wow that was hilarious!!

[unfunkit]

this is my favorite story of aaaallllll time

[floysie21]

dude you should make an auido reading of it

[dennisthapa]

wat book is this from?

[unfunkit]

me talk pretty one day

[johnd2442]

oh. was hopeful sedaris was actually reading it. disappointing.

[ExtemporaneousKay]

One of my favorites from that book, the other being "Big Boy". You should read that one too. Very very well done.

[soadfreak313]

Definitely my favorite chapter :)

[marutehkazoo]

Haha, I just read this story to my unwilling boyfriend over the phone a couple days ago, but I love it, it's hilarious.

[Mayalex]

Great job! The first time I read this I couldn't stop laughing--funny s**t!

[monsterstinker]

thanks for posting this video. i left school and i gave this book to my favorite english teacher and i miss it now. this was my favorite story haha :)

[xarrowz]

whats the one essay that mentions his sister's parrot called??

[thefount]

"Repeat After Me"

[hlambert12]

That's my favorite one-- it always gives me the chills when I finish that essay.

[guitarfaces]

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." ;)

[emopopprincess]

ZOMFG!! i luv daviad sedaris's books!! you cant kill the rooster was one of my favorite parts! you read it well. p.s read his book naked! Bitch nobody kills the mother fucking rooster! 'SHUT YOUR MOTHER FUCKING HOLE!' LMAO and also 'please dont smoke pot in the living room.' LMAO!!

[blackeyedsiouxsie]

awesome.

[IdaSansom]

This is great! That is one of my favorite parts of this book. This really should be done more often, I think.

I like that I can see you are obviously affected by the humor in it--makes me enjoy it more.

[saylay50]

I love it! Give us some more!

[bravenewworld10]

Johnny, you are hopelessly adorable!  Woof!

[juliebuglovesdarren]

so good, thanks for the reading! I think this should be done more!

[FRANCESDANIELL]

google or yahoo

do you wish that we show up

[jstohler]

Sorry, but if you can't do the Rooster's unique N.C. accent, you shouldn't be reading this in public.

[jcooper43]

He's obviously reading to friends you dolt. Haven't you ever read something to your friends b/c it's simply funny??

[jstohler]

Yeah, but I didn't put it online and invite comments.

[baroquejen]

Very nice reading...

[jcooper43]

Best Sedaris story EVER. Thanks for the read....

[soul0luos]

i second that.  You can't kill the rooster.

[graaar]

thirded.

[neohillbilly]

great reading.

[calsweet]

David Sedaris is a good writer. and you, by the way, are very very cute.

[whateveritsnoyes]

props on this video ccmcc33,

completely hilarious.

sedaris is something else. haha.

[clementinefeline]

My favorite line was actually, "When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it,' and eat yourself some motherfucking candy."

[darkblueCAROLS]

Haa.

I just read that essay!

[jules9999999]

It doesn't matter who reads it, it's just FUNNY.

My favorite line: "Fuck the stock talk, hoss, I ain't investin' in shit!"

Makes me laugh so hard I cry every time.

[sparklystarstereo]

I liked that :)

[MargotVellocet]

Wow it doesn't seem like that much cursing when you are reading it.

Great rendition.

[KaitlynMutt]

Very nice!

[votejamie08]

wow! ive heard david sedaris' voice, i think you got the voices down so great!

[neverbnnba]

Thank you so freakin much for reading that! Sedaris is a genius, the funniest guy alive!

[jgilmer]

oh that was great!! you looked like you had such a good time reading it!!

[lot24]

Lmfao, I loved this, but nobody could do The Rooster's voice better than Amy Sedaris, off the Barrel Fever audiobook

[slotjockey34]

Agreed, but that laugh is highly annoying

[LisaW0990]

nah i loved his laughing it highly amused me ^^

[eriqkk]

you didn't have to listen, now did you?

[slotjockey34]

The Joe Pesci voice is highly appropriate!

[CaliAsInColombiana]

I wouldn't have been able to keep from laughing either lol

[owerot]

David yanks the guts outta all of us...and makes us look at em...fuckin awesome

[monsterpopstar]

ya caint keel tha rooster, mutherfuckr!

[AmoChan8878]

Great reading. I especially enjoyed the laughter. Hahahahaha!

[Umlaani]

Read some more!

[BenjiAYOU]

This is one of the best chapters of Me talk pretty one day! lol

[fauxham]

That was my favorite chapter in the whole book. I couldn't stop laughing for hours. Every now and then I use quotes from that.

[Mitsouko9]

Well done! This essay had me laughing all the way through it. I was waiting at the CVG airport killing time while my son played his Gameboy. Almost nothing takes my son's attention away from a game, but I was laughing aloud to that essay while sitting with other passengers, and my son kept throwing me looks as I continued to read and laugh! Great stuff!

[bluedotantics20165]

you laugh at the most innopurtune times, but otherwise it was a great reading.

[theproudtexan]

This guy is wicked hot. WOW! I love his nose. So hot.

[Acumensch]

I don't get it. He's not that funny.

[Ayanami0001]

You're right! you don't get it...

[Tytal]

I remember the first time I read this essay. I was at work eating at my desk. A coworker though I was choking on my food. Thanks for reading this. Brilliant writer, he is.

[brittanyrocksthehous]

Man, this is beauty. You Can't Kill the Rooster is one of my favorites of his essays. I met David Sedaris briefly at a book signing and he drew a picture of me vomiting it it; it's beauty also.

[7tCinema]

nice - what book is this from ?

[ccmcc33]

It is from "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris. I had to edit the entire essay a little to get it under ten minutes. The book is great.

[dewdropsongrass]

haha nice

[mmon2919]

Great reading. Brought back memories of reading that essay when it was first published.

[angel48]

awesome. thanks for posting this.  david and amy are so hilarious