Anne Rice once commented on Twilight and she said something along the lines of why the hell would anyone want to repeat high school over and over? If you're immortal wouldn't you take more advantage of the world like go travelling and stuff like that? Oh and Meyer's version of "vampires" *cough* sparkly fairy princesses *cough* SUCK ASS!
I was forced to watch New Moon, i was on a date. I felt like i was watching a real cheap TV movie... I remember I mentioned how I didnt care for the movie to a girl i worked with, and our relationship was never the same after that lol as BAD as that movie was, its fans are VERY loyal
well that's what happens when you have bad directors who can't director the actors. And I don't have a problem with Bella acting that way IT'S A DAMN FANTASY AND THE AUTHOR HEIGHTENED everything so what ? Twilight haters shut up already ! It's so stupid people go around hating things instead of doing something productive.
twilight was made by mormon, that explanes the stupidity of it. only mormons think that people think they deserve to be tortured just bechose they are something that they are difrent.
Fata iesti dulce. Romania are ceva de invatat de la tine. Privind cu ochi Americani imi place sa vad Romani ca tine. Iti sper numai furumesete in viata. Iesti frumoasa si cu simt bun. Traiasca Romania si romani ca tine!!!
rofl! Can't really add much. Victoria had potential as a vampire, but somehow the complete lame goodies managed to despatch her, didn't really add up for me. The only way they could make this a decent series is to have bella wake up to herself and accept that she's really in love with Jacob who actually really cares about her and Edward is just part of her emo phase, Edward flips out and starts a war with the werewolves. Werewolves win. And yeah the sparkly shit, what the fucking fuck?
When you say about Bella's suicidal self and seeing visions....It makes her sounds like she belongs in a mental instertution! lol! And its true about the school thing. I''d hate to have to go to school 50 times. Shirtless Jacob is the fanservice cause little else is going on so its a distraction maybe? lol! Oh, does the sparkles ever actually get explained? Anywhere? What causes Vampires = Sparkles? Is it a chemical in the skin? Or did Stephanie add it in for the lulz?
Has anyone ever noticed that Twilight is kinda like Inuyasha only not as well written? Think about it, teenage girl meets pretty boy demon who's well over twice her age (but looks like a teenager anyway), and some wolf character also likes the girl, but the girl only sees wolf boy as a friend. Inuyasha >>>>> Twilight!
The hype surrounding these movies only goes to show that lot of teenage girls aren't good for anything but fucking. They should start using their brains for something usefull instead of going wet over this nonsense.
Finally someone agrees with me! Hypathetically speaking, if I were a vampire I'd feed off the sinners of society, and I'd set myself on fire and end my immortal life before I live like the Cullens. Everything about them I think is pathetic.
Thank you! For saying exactly what I want to . . but I can't cause I have no video camera or web cam to make my own videos.
@blazearmoru Plenty of straight guys (yes they are straight, I've met and known some of these guys for a while now) like Twilight. Not all of us girls love Twilight, I hate it basically for the reasons Criss just listed in this video.
the only thing i like about new moon i think is it has a lafee song tell me why but i prefer the original german song wer bin ich witch is who am i love that song but yea the movie sucks dont see how they can love each other they have nothing to themselves boring people other then maybe looks is all they like
Although Christian Vampires... There was the Lancea Sanctum (catholic vampires) in another series of books, and they were actually pretty awesome because of it. Strange.
Jacob's not really in love with Bella, he's in love with her unborn child, which is really sick. I wonder what that makes Bella.... she has dirty thoughts about her unborn daughters future boyfriend. The movies are all pretty horrible compared to the book, Eclipse got a little better then the shit that we call Twilight and New Moon.
I have to agree with you, Bella was the most boring character I have ever seen, and the plot makes no fucking sense, what was Stephanie Meyer thinking? Watch my review.
once again im lmfaorotfl!!!! i completely agree about the bella thing and she has no life what so ever outside of edward its pathetic and shes so whinny.
I love this girl. She is hilarious and smart. She goes in depth in her reasoning not so much in this video but in her others she shows she is brilliant.
You'll understand why Bella is such a shell of human being in new twlight movie. Actually you won't find out because as it turns out she is just an emo at heart. I don't want to runin it for you but there is a reason for her awful souless character.
I love the accent because when you say "Twilight" it ends up sounding like "Toilet" - which is exactly how I feel about the series. Watching Bella go through her teen heart throb angst over and over again could make any grownup suicidal. That werewolf kid should just go all Dexter on everyone, just to make sure there isn't another sequel.
The movie theatre was full of screaming girls so funny hearing their reactions to the movie. I guess you are only young once. I'd read the books, which aren't bad btw (they are decently written and you get a good understanding of the emotions bella goes through), before i watched the movie so i had an understanding of the characters, but mostly i just found the movie ridiculous and i was laughing through most of it.
LMAO Criss im gonna say this when i first saw the title of new moon sucks i thought i would get pissed off when i would watch it, but i was laughing my ass off the entire time it's hilarious, I love the entire series i think its an amazing set of novels. and i do agree with you the movies are kind of lame, BUT have you actually read the books because it's kind of lame to judge only based on movies and not the books they were based on btw only edward and carlisle are vegans rest are athiest
@WhatIAm99 what i was trying to say is most of the cullens are Athiest, its only carlisle and edward who has a belief in heaven and hell & come on you dont have that much space to write everything down in replys. so i had to cut a lot what i wanted to say & also just because you think the book sucks doesn't mean that they do.
There's a werewolf movie releasing next tuesday called "Animals" that's based on a book by John Skipp and Craig Spector. The book was one that would definitely keep you up all night until you finifh it in the morning sometime, but is sadly long out of print. Skipp/Spector have a few gems, but this one is by far the best book they've done, period. I hope the movie is a tenth as good as the book. Watch it if you like paranormal horror.
I totally agree with you, the movie was a waste of time and money. And what's up with Bella. Getting on some random guy's back and jumping off cliffs like a fucking lunatic. And poor of those animals that have to be sucked by vampires cause they ae "vegeterians" And also in the beggining of the movie Edward akmost killed Bella trying to get her away from his messed up brother. The movie was such a piece of shit.
well said! that dipshit film annoyed me in every way you gave & so much more, like few films have, worse than Titanic! even the first 10 mins were agonizing!
immediately i was put off by that vomit inducing intro crap!
i love substantial, realistic characters who dont whine but for VERY good reason! grr
i'm extremely selective on films especially horror. especially vampire. especially brooding vampire shit.
Christian vampires?! WT cheese & fries?! why do they have to be Christian to be ethical?!
I had to watch New Moon a few weeks ago for the sake of a friend. it was okay, though, because I had tequila and turned it into a drinking game. Whenever you see Jacob with his shirt off, take a drink...he has his shirt off a lot.
twilight was so bad bechose nothing they did had any reason. usualy i like movies that dont do lot explaing bechose the things that hapen are understud, but when you cant understand anything and you are not explaned why the charecters do what they do then it sucks hard
I confess I have not seen either of these Twilight films, nor do I intend to do so. This review served only to confirm my suspicions that they are indeed big piles of brown stuff. It also made me laugh which is rare nowadays, so thanks...
One idea I thought I would share: if Bella is struggling to choose between a vampire and a werewolf, does that not mean these films boil down to a girl being forced to pick necrophilia or bestiality?
the twilight movies are probably the only vampire movies i will never watch, and I'm a die-hard vampire movie fan. Watch "Daybreakers" instead, it was pretty good, and Sam Neill and Willem Dafoe are in it!
You are sooooooooo right about these girls obsessing over Edward.I was at school and i said he looks like a damn hobo(he does) and all these girls in my class who I wasn't even talking 2 just started yell'n at me.Then I ended up cuss'z them out and was sent 2 ISS.OVER SOME SHIT LIKE THAT
who told you this would be the price for that? Your mother used to charge like this? Oh, is she still doing it?! Sorry, I didn't mean being ageist ...
Ya, all descriptions she gives are true: Eduard is lame, Bella is shallow and the venerable vampires look like pimps. This last one I liked even the most: they do look like pimps, blasé pimps I would add ...
the only thing thats keeping this movie alive with HUGE BIG BUCKS is the millions and millions of lil preteen girls out there in the world whos nothing but boy crazy.
and I also think the books are so devoid of sex, it's unrealistic. I don't want to read a books that's got too much of it, but a little bit is normal! :\ but no, Stephanie Meyer is far too goody goody for that shit!
I did not even bother seeing this. I tried watching Twilight on Showtime. After 20 minutes, I switched channels on an account that it was lame. Too much emo crap.
Bella is an embarrasment to all things female and i am ashamed that she would be considered a woman, it is offensive, she's like a fangirl left in the bottom drawer of the fridge too long, green and moldy. Great vid, awesome critic and beautiful accent.
If Stephenie has to have a couple of human guys and two supernatural, supposedly wonderful guys chasing after Bella, then she should at least make it somewhat plausible that Bella is worth the trouble. Bella's 'normality' and plainness should not have been emphasised-if Meyer wanted people to buy that drivel, then at least give Bella some self confidence, a personality, a decent outward appearance etc.
I actually heard that the books, especially the 4th are based off of the morman theology story, with the vampires as christians and warewolves as jews or something along those lines
Hahaha I haven't wasted my time on either movie. The only reason I'd ever read the books would be to get a good laugh. Stephenie Meyer is so obviously obsessed with her own creation it is a little creepy, even Rob Pattinson has said so. Bella does nothing but perpetually croon over two guys and let them step all over her.
lmao i felt the same way. i watched the first and second caused by sympathy.. my niece is into it.. but the first one i was like whatever.. the second one i was pissed. i absolutely agree with everything you said.. i was waiting for maybe atleast one scene of inspiration, nice unexpected action or atleast some kind of story. IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!
"please one of you of you give it to her so we can all get on with our lives" hahaha Criss I will never see the movie but this review was so entertaining.
i so agree with her about Bella im like they are fighting over this bitch there is nothing special about her ass Bella doesn't even look like shes into men
when a fan girl actuly told me that twilight "has a really dry story is is very clesay, but I love it" I knew it was something I just didn't want to see ever.
it's one thing to tweak with the vampire idea, but twilight just made a bunch of pixies that happen to drink blood.
i hate all this new BullShit with vampires and other mythological horror icons some things should stay the same or at least in the same ballpark i almost slapped a friend of mine when they asked me to go see twilight with them, literally i raised my hand, twilight light is just Hollywood Bullshit to make teen girls woo over that closet case main character,
Thank god (I just say it like that, I don't believe in god, at least not that so called god everyone believes in...spoiling comment) that I am not the only one who hates that movie!
i don't mind Twilight and New Moon, but then again,i don't mind a lot of things :P
i appreciate the ppl who like AND hate the movie and give out reasonable opinions about it, i've always liked watching a movie about problems between 2 lovers, and yes, i know Stephanie Myer is such a dumb author, the way she portrayed vampires and how Bella met Edward made NO sense!
i mean, what the fuck is Edward's purpose in going to school? Stephanie Myer just put that in just so Bella and Edward can meet
...I made the mistake of reading all the books... I hated Bella... kept hoping she would die... and she did.. but she didn't ....you know what I mean...
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
I really just wanna fuck this bitch.. But all I can hear is " where do u keep your nuclear wessels" I'm afraid I'd just be laughing in her face the whole time.. When she Deserves a wild Nut blown in her face.. Oh ya, and twilight sux ;)
personally, i like how the plot was fixated on Edward and Bella, that's why i found Twilight and New Moon awesome, it's like a forbidden love type of deal and that's always good (i think), and i liked the action in it, even though there wasn't that much, but i do agree with you, it doesn't make sense how vampires sparkle, big deal, and how Edward, (an immortal) repeats school over and over, doesn't make sense, yes, i didn't like how the vampires were portrayed, but that didn't ruin it for me.
compare it with the shawshank redemption is just the same as comparing HD1080 to minecraft
rudal90 2 weeks ago
Twilight is like porn except without sex
rodrigodet 1 month ago in playlist Uploaded videos
lol
PoFFizdaMan 1 month ago
this movie sucks
karthu1993 1 month ago
you should do breaking dawn!
HRZONE2 3 months ago
this review. me gusta.
gethsoftware 3 months ago
dancing to right said fred at the end was my favorite part.
frasian78 5 months ago
Anne Rice once commented on Twilight and she said something along the lines of why the hell would anyone want to repeat high school over and over? If you're immortal wouldn't you take more advantage of the world like go travelling and stuff like that? Oh and Meyer's version of "vampires" *cough* sparkly fairy princesses *cough* SUCK ASS!
DimSimToughBitch 5 months ago
You rock even more now.
DimSimToughBitch 5 months ago
You should dance in every video. Seriously.
Diemedes 6 months ago
I was forced to watch New Moon, i was on a date. I felt like i was watching a real cheap TV movie... I remember I mentioned how I didnt care for the movie to a girl i worked with, and our relationship was never the same after that lol as BAD as that movie was, its fans are VERY loyal
RodTalon00 8 months ago
You lost 2 hours of your life watching the movie ? nobody forced you to watch it you stupid fucker
shepspur81 8 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@shepspur81 ╭∩╮(︶︵︶)╭∩╮
DocStrange0123 8 months ago
Dr.Sabrosky (Jew),Director of US Army War College, I am 100 percent sure that 9/11 was Mossad operation:
Youtube,enter, "Military Now KNOW Israel did 9/11"
ismat45 8 months ago
Dude you're awesome SUBBED
EpikMelody 9 months ago
Why you watched this movie on the other hand...I will never understand. Vampires and werewolves are gay monsters anyways.
Reip187 10 months ago
"Hey there. *clap clap* I don't know why I'm clapping."
Made me laugh.
Reip187 10 months ago
well that's what happens when you have bad directors who can't director the actors. And I don't have a problem with Bella acting that way IT'S A DAMN FANTASY AND THE AUTHOR HEIGHTENED everything so what ? Twilight haters shut up already ! It's so stupid people go around hating things instead of doing something productive.
Team76Bella 10 months ago
twilight was made by mormon, that explanes the stupidity of it. only mormons think that people think they deserve to be tortured just bechose they are something that they are difrent.
gooddarkjedi 11 months ago
"...possibly at the same time"
Fata iesti dulce. Romania are ceva de invatat de la tine. Privind cu ochi Americani imi place sa vad Romani ca tine. Iti sper numai furumesete in viata. Iesti frumoasa si cu simt bun. Traiasca Romania si romani ca tine!!!
futate01 11 months ago
Review is worth it just to see Criss dance at the end... Well something good came out of the movie.
seeker6789 1 year ago
rofl! Can't really add much. Victoria had potential as a vampire, but somehow the complete lame goodies managed to despatch her, didn't really add up for me. The only way they could make this a decent series is to have bella wake up to herself and accept that she's really in love with Jacob who actually really cares about her and Edward is just part of her emo phase, Edward flips out and starts a war with the werewolves. Werewolves win. And yeah the sparkly shit, what the fucking fuck?
pitdroidtech 1 year ago
When you say about Bella's suicidal self and seeing visions....It makes her sounds like she belongs in a mental instertution! lol! And its true about the school thing. I''d hate to have to go to school 50 times. Shirtless Jacob is the fanservice cause little else is going on so its a distraction maybe? lol! Oh, does the sparkles ever actually get explained? Anywhere? What causes Vampires = Sparkles? Is it a chemical in the skin? Or did Stephanie add it in for the lulz?
chosha1 1 year ago
have you see lat den ratte komma in or let the right one in i think is a good movie you should see it
legolasgreenleaff 1 year ago
"since i spent two hours watching that fucking movie" haha you're funny
you kinda look like aly michalka :)
idontcare2332 1 year ago 2
this video is not working after 2.19 : (
uttaranmaiti 1 year ago
i agree twilight sucks. u rock
ConnorOellerich 1 year ago
Has anyone ever noticed that Twilight is kinda like Inuyasha only not as well written? Think about it, teenage girl meets pretty boy demon who's well over twice her age (but looks like a teenager anyway), and some wolf character also likes the girl, but the girl only sees wolf boy as a friend. Inuyasha >>>>> Twilight!
arrogantgodjealous 1 year ago
New Moon was a very bad movie.
glassessn 1 year ago
what kind of accent is that? It's nice. Sounds kind of eastern euro.
Blastaar7 1 year ago
@Blastaar7 She is Romanian. And as a Romanian I am proud of her. She represents us well.
futate01 11 months ago
@futate01 she's actually greek.
iMoreAsianR 11 months ago
@iMoreAsianR Well she herself has mentioned many times that she is Romanian, so I'm inclined to believe her more than you.
futate01 11 months ago
@futate01 lol she said she is greek in one of the blogtv's
iMoreAsianR 11 months ago
u look like Alyson Michalka. lovely!
nukanukanuka 1 year ago
The hype surrounding these movies only goes to show that lot of teenage girls aren't good for anything but fucking. They should start using their brains for something usefull instead of going wet over this nonsense.
jo05dk 1 year ago
the only thing worth watching from this movie is the srhirtless hot guy
and i have porn for that
completly sucks
majo271010 1 year ago
LOVE THIS REVIEW!!!
this proves that "TWATLIGHT" is not loved by all women and thank god for that.
you are GORGEOUS and SMART........keep it up:):):):)
mystiefan33 1 year ago 2
I can`t believe you watched a Twilight sequel, what were you thinking. Truly, they are the the teen-girl equivalent of a bukakke flick.,
MrZardoz777 1 year ago
Finally someone agrees with me! Hypathetically speaking, if I were a vampire I'd feed off the sinners of society, and I'd set myself on fire and end my immortal life before I live like the Cullens. Everything about them I think is pathetic.
Thank you! For saying exactly what I want to . . but I can't cause I have no video camera or web cam to make my own videos.
Azuban222 1 year ago
YOU ARE MY HEROINE!!
ssviator 1 year ago
zomg Ive been subscribed to her for more than a year without knowing about this second channel!
prophetchannel 1 year ago
i girl who hates twilight i think im in lover here and she can dance fuck yes
homer004 1 year ago 2
wait wait, YAY! a girl who hates twilight! it's going down!!! \o/
DIE TWILIGHT DIE!!!
blazearmoru 1 year ago 26
@blazearmoru Plenty of straight guys (yes they are straight, I've met and known some of these guys for a while now) like Twilight. Not all of us girls love Twilight, I hate it basically for the reasons Criss just listed in this video.
KendallHartz 3 months ago
5.1? That's too high, FAR too high! It does not deserve a positive score! D:<
blazearmoru 1 year ago
Brilliant, absolutly brilliant review!!!!!
SuperSteve180 1 year ago
Come on it's so obvious why he repeats High School 50 times; he wants the young girls!
frugihoyi 1 year ago
I LOVE THIS WOMAN !
Otakuish 1 year ago 22
@Otakuish She's taken already :(
izmanq 6 days ago
How can anyone NOT like you. EVERYTHING you say is SPOT on. I think these movies are crap. I think you are AMAZING.
MrMetallidude 1 year ago
I really like you. Thanks for this, I needed a laugh and you're SOO right.
TheTkhapsic 1 year ago
My Review:
Directing: 4/10
Script: 5/10 (It was pretty much taken from the book, but the book has so little speech in it, they could have added more tbh.)
Plot+ Storyline: 7/10
Cinematography and Visuals: 2/10. They could have made it look SO much better. :S
Characters and acting. I'm splitting them
Characers: 6/10. They fitted the role quite well, but they were covered with so much makeup it looks un-realistic.
Acting: 1.2/10. (The 0.2 for trying)
Thenerdydrummerguy 1 year ago
Mmmm, the best part is the end where she dances.
Darkside626 1 year ago
you're cute and i don't watch all the shitty movies you do so i'll take your word for it .. it takes some patience to sit through hollywood films
Bjouesbijou 1 year ago
oddly enough this made me want to see the movie, and sub to tooltime. yours Earl
bikemessenger7 1 year ago
That was so funny I was loling so hard at the "I'm too sexy for my shirt" part.
AmSpazz 1 year ago
the only thing i like about new moon i think is it has a lafee song tell me why but i prefer the original german song wer bin ich witch is who am i love that song but yea the movie sucks dont see how they can love each other they have nothing to themselves boring people other then maybe looks is all they like
gottsein234 1 year ago
Very good review.
Although Christian Vampires... There was the Lancea Sanctum (catholic vampires) in another series of books, and they were actually pretty awesome because of it. Strange.
zanafarr 1 year ago
I remember when i saw the first one...
Arg, so much bad memories come to my mind !
VonBoche 1 year ago
44 Twilight fans missed the Like button :|
TeamKarasu 1 year ago
Its funny when people try to justify this as a good movie. "But it won an MTV Movie Award!"
Yeah, so did Zac Efron
morgantown1 1 year ago
lmao u have the best review ive seen for this movie *claps*
zavion12345 1 year ago
Its long been my opinion that Vampires were one of the most horridly gay things man kind ever concocted by man.
Noah2112 1 year ago
I think I lost interest in that comment half way through.
Noah2112 1 year ago
"It's so fucking stupid it hurts!" LMAO! Oh that's the best quote I've heard in a while!
artman2oo3 1 year ago 2
I'm a fan of the books but your review was so funny. I really enjoyed it. I can't wait for a Breaking Dawn Review.
kathyjacks 1 year ago
Jacob's not really in love with Bella, he's in love with her unborn child, which is really sick. I wonder what that makes Bella.... she has dirty thoughts about her unborn daughters future boyfriend. The movies are all pretty horrible compared to the book, Eclipse got a little better then the shit that we call Twilight and New Moon.
Jayforshort 1 year ago
I have to agree with you, Bella was the most boring character I have ever seen, and the plot makes no fucking sense, what was Stephanie Meyer thinking? Watch my review.
Meex1989 1 year ago
once again im lmfaorotfl!!!! i completely agree about the bella thing and she has no life what so ever outside of edward its pathetic and shes so whinny.
JeffreeStarFan101 1 year ago
holy shit... the last few seconds of the "review" made my day :')
apart from that, you're right, about just about anything..
apostel13 1 year ago
Wow! Finally found a site to watch New Moon, it is: newmoon (.) webuda (.) c o m best quality!
MrGMauler 1 year ago
the romance overshadows everything else... dumb Twitards... >. > im ashamed of my generation
SkyHyghProductions 1 year ago
Yeah. Movie sucked ass. Book sucked ass. You are gorgeous and I love the accent!
ilikemonkeys100 1 year ago
I love this girl. She is hilarious and smart. She goes in depth in her reasoning not so much in this video but in her others she shows she is brilliant.
intrepidEsquire 1 year ago
You'll understand why Bella is such a shell of human being in new twlight movie. Actually you won't find out because as it turns out she is just an emo at heart. I don't want to runin it for you but there is a reason for her awful souless character.
lashkaretoiba 1 year ago
FUCKING HILARIOUS
bazzsofly 1 year ago
I love the accent because when you say "Twilight" it ends up sounding like "Toilet" - which is exactly how I feel about the series. Watching Bella go through her teen heart throb angst over and over again could make any grownup suicidal. That werewolf kid should just go all Dexter on everyone, just to make sure there isn't another sequel.
PaulGrantDesigns 1 year ago
Long Live RomaNiaNs:)
skp5388 1 year ago
I could listen to you talk about vampires for the rest of my life. Ironic eh?
oneguycoding 1 year ago
The movie theatre was full of screaming girls so funny hearing their reactions to the movie. I guess you are only young once. I'd read the books, which aren't bad btw (they are decently written and you get a good understanding of the emotions bella goes through), before i watched the movie so i had an understanding of the characters, but mostly i just found the movie ridiculous and i was laughing through most of it.
foresthat 1 year ago
I am now in love with you
Also if these vampires (and I use the word vampire VERY loosely) existed being a vampire hunter would be my career choice
LordXenocide 1 year ago
Skank!!
LordMalice6d9 1 year ago
@maxstrife maybe you think the books are good, but can you give any good reasons why they are? i know for sure that the plot and characters suck.
maybe1smile 1 year ago
LMAO Criss im gonna say this when i first saw the title of new moon sucks i thought i would get pissed off when i would watch it, but i was laughing my ass off the entire time it's hilarious, I love the entire series i think its an amazing set of novels. and i do agree with you the movies are kind of lame, BUT have you actually read the books because it's kind of lame to judge only based on movies and not the books they were based on btw only edward and carlisle are vegans rest are athiest
maxstrife 1 year ago
@maxstrife I wasn't aware 'vegan' was an ideology to be grouped in with 'atheism'.
And the books are pure shit.
WhatIAm99 1 year ago
@WhatIAm99 what i was trying to say is most of the cullens are Athiest, its only carlisle and edward who has a belief in heaven and hell & come on you dont have that much space to write everything down in replys. so i had to cut a lot what i wanted to say & also just because you think the book sucks doesn't mean that they do.
maxstrife 1 year ago
@maxstrife Yes, they do. Just because you say that the book doesn't suck, doesn't mean that it doesn't suck.
Cstrife234 1 year ago
@maxstrife The books are as shitty as the movies.
Cstrife234 1 year ago
@Cstrife234 again i say thats only your point of view
maxstrife 1 year ago
Yes, you are indeed too sexy for your cat. lol
jerrinfla 1 year ago
There's a werewolf movie releasing next tuesday called "Animals" that's based on a book by John Skipp and Craig Spector. The book was one that would definitely keep you up all night until you finifh it in the morning sometime, but is sadly long out of print. Skipp/Spector have a few gems, but this one is by far the best book they've done, period. I hope the movie is a tenth as good as the book. Watch it if you like paranormal horror.
jerrinfla 1 year ago
Intelligent, good taste AND stunningly beautiful?? Women like this actually exist? Perhaps I should go outside more often....
TheSorkDogg 1 year ago
I totally agree with you, the movie was a waste of time and money. And what's up with Bella. Getting on some random guy's back and jumping off cliffs like a fucking lunatic. And poor of those animals that have to be sucked by vampires cause they ae "vegeterians" And also in the beggining of the movie Edward akmost killed Bella trying to get her away from his messed up brother. The movie was such a piece of shit.
CubanitaLinda97 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I love this movie see the whole movie @ locomov (dot) com
AnaChaparro8 1 year ago
Well, you pretty much nailed the whole film. :D (And... Damn it woman, why is your hair so nice?!)
powerslave02 1 year ago
My view of Edward is "Teenage Hollywood Frankenstein".
Plasmon19 1 year ago
Fucking sparkle shit. Want real vampires? The Lost Boys FTW.
EmpiricalAlpha 1 year ago
My dream girl lives on the other side of the planet. :(
YourBrainOnReligion 1 year ago
SPARKLY VAMPIRES! lmao
TheHomelessCripple 1 year ago
well said! that dipshit film annoyed me in every way you gave & so much more, like few films have, worse than Titanic! even the first 10 mins were agonizing!
immediately i was put off by that vomit inducing intro crap!
i love substantial, realistic characters who dont whine but for VERY good reason! grr
i'm extremely selective on films especially horror. especially vampire. especially brooding vampire shit.
Christian vampires?! WT cheese & fries?! why do they have to be Christian to be ethical?!
VampiressOnDaProwlq 1 year ago
I had to watch New Moon a few weeks ago for the sake of a friend. it was okay, though, because I had tequila and turned it into a drinking game. Whenever you see Jacob with his shirt off, take a drink...he has his shirt off a lot.
Kelynn1031 1 year ago
twilight was so bad bechose nothing they did had any reason. usualy i like movies that dont do lot explaing bechose the things that hapen are understud, but when you cant understand anything and you are not explaned why the charecters do what they do then it sucks hard
gooddarkjedi 1 year ago
I hate Twilight,it targets the same stupid fat chix that like Justin Bieber.
New Moon sucks,You can ACTUALLY make the same story with herpies.
Vampires don't sparkle they burn to the ground, DIE STEHPANIE MEYER
SHEMEANzEVRyTHANG2ME 1 year ago
OMG U ROCK! And I love your accent!
SpavVy1993 1 year ago
I confess I have not seen either of these Twilight films, nor do I intend to do so. This review served only to confirm my suspicions that they are indeed big piles of brown stuff. It also made me laugh which is rare nowadays, so thanks...
One idea I thought I would share: if Bella is struggling to choose between a vampire and a werewolf, does that not mean these films boil down to a girl being forced to pick necrophilia or bestiality?
ThusSpokeTylerDurden 1 year ago
@ThusSpokeTylerDurden
hahahaahaha
sadisticxpenguin 1 year ago
the twilight movies are probably the only vampire movies i will never watch, and I'm a die-hard vampire movie fan. Watch "Daybreakers" instead, it was pretty good, and Sam Neill and Willem Dafoe are in it!
GovmentTookMaBaby 1 year ago
The movie is not about the plot - it's a date movie! Get the teenage girl hot and horny and finish up after the popcorn.
TheAzov 1 year ago
Id spit in her mouth
TampaFlorida813 1 year ago
You are sooooooooo right about these girls obsessing over Edward.I was at school and i said he looks like a damn hobo(he does) and all these girls in my class who I wasn't even talking 2 just started yell'n at me.Then I ended up cuss'z them out and was sent 2 ISS.OVER SOME SHIT LIKE THAT
animesierra 1 year ago
Brilliant review
kablamo9999 1 year ago
LMAO, good review ! ! !
jamesmaseobrown 1 year ago
great review, but i would give new moon a 3; it is worse than twilight imo.
Missy3737 1 year ago
this has to be my fav movie review ever
neoarcadezr 1 year ago
u made me laugh from beginning 2 end :)
Ebony2z2 1 year ago
@iOwnYouFlagFag :
who told you this would be the price for that? Your mother used to charge like this? Oh, is she still doing it?! Sorry, I didn't mean being ageist ...
francsturz 1 year ago
Ya, all descriptions she gives are true: Eduard is lame, Bella is shallow and the venerable vampires look like pimps. This last one I liked even the most: they do look like pimps, blasé pimps I would add ...
francsturz 1 year ago
Criticising Twilight and its ilk is like shooting dead fish in a aquarium with a minigun with explosive rounds.
EBTcraft15 1 year ago
@EBTcraft15 sounds like a damn good time to me :D
heavenlyheathen 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Can i fuck your mouth for 2000 dollars?
iOwnYouFlagFag 1 year ago
Lmao. I love her! xD
Way to go with this. :]
I agree with everything...pretty much. Maybe with less vulgar language but yeah. xD
iiMrOwII 1 year ago
notice women thinks twilight series sucks.
the only thing thats keeping this movie alive with HUGE BIG BUCKS is the millions and millions of lil preteen girls out there in the world whos nothing but boy crazy.
Emblemz 1 year ago
you speak truth hehe
crazyfountains 1 year ago
Marry me!
whiteyak41 1 year ago 2
and I also think the books are so devoid of sex, it's unrealistic. I don't want to read a books that's got too much of it, but a little bit is normal! :\ but no, Stephanie Meyer is far too goody goody for that shit!
maltagrl 1 year ago
I did not even bother seeing this. I tried watching Twilight on Showtime. After 20 minutes, I switched channels on an account that it was lame. Too much emo crap.
TheSecondEvolution 1 year ago
oooops ... i think i've grown a tail ... :))
m0shene 1 year ago
gosh i cant stand youtube fan girls....go marry tooltime, you sad pleb
darpachief 1 year ago
Te-ai uitat la el?!
insightliviu 1 year ago
Oh no! Edward left me, so I must make a dramatic fall over this fake foliage to make a point that I am very upset!
BackstageProds 1 year ago
Bella is an embarrasment to all things female and i am ashamed that she would be considered a woman, it is offensive, she's like a fangirl left in the bottom drawer of the fridge too long, green and moldy. Great vid, awesome critic and beautiful accent.
Drauph 1 year ago
Robert Pattinson won worst support actor in the Razzies hahahaha.
elgeras27 1 year ago
Joey: Hey that Jacobs a good guy.
Tea: I like that he doesn't wear a shirt.
quleughy 1 year ago
If Stephenie has to have a couple of human guys and two supernatural, supposedly wonderful guys chasing after Bella, then she should at least make it somewhat plausible that Bella is worth the trouble. Bella's 'normality' and plainness should not have been emphasised-if Meyer wanted people to buy that drivel, then at least give Bella some self confidence, a personality, a decent outward appearance etc.
ACompanyofSwans 1 year ago
kristian stewart sucks in these films
legzz187 2 years ago 7
suprise sex is a good thing when it happens to hot teenage girls between 18-19.
madmaxninja08 2 years ago
Yeah. Twilight sucks so hard. Bella sets the women's rights movement back about 50 years.
gir908922 2 years ago 19
@gir908922 It also sets writing back 10,000 years.
NeverAloneForever 1 year ago
If I'm not mistaken, is that an image of Marilyn Monroe imprinted onto your top? If so, I cannot express my envy in any shape or form.
Mournerable 2 years ago
wet teenage girls, so funny!!
Nine89 2 years ago
Bella's just a whorenado.
I just wanted someone to rip of her wig.
"I'm Jone Jett Bitch!!!"
tabbybful 2 years ago
Very good review, made me laugh a few times too. Sexy accent made it even better!
FreakinSweet87 2 years ago 24
I actually heard that the books, especially the 4th are based off of the morman theology story, with the vampires as christians and warewolves as jews or something along those lines
RhetoricalBullshit 2 years ago
Hahahaha good review xD and I agree with every single word about this movie you said :D
amoondria 2 years ago 2
Bella's falling off cliffs to get visions of Edward. That's the perfect thing to teach to our young teenage girls of today. :D
XXDangerZone180XX 2 years ago 2
Hahaha I haven't wasted my time on either movie. The only reason I'd ever read the books would be to get a good laugh. Stephenie Meyer is so obviously obsessed with her own creation it is a little creepy, even Rob Pattinson has said so. Bella does nothing but perpetually croon over two guys and let them step all over her.
Good review/rant, love your dancing. ^_^
FollyxXxFallen 2 years ago 3
lmao i felt the same way. i watched the first and second caused by sympathy.. my niece is into it.. but the first one i was like whatever.. the second one i was pissed. i absolutely agree with everything you said.. i was waiting for maybe atleast one scene of inspiration, nice unexpected action or atleast some kind of story. IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!
sakura2390 2 years ago 2
1) This is the best review ever.
2) Of course they are religious, it was a Mormon who wrote the books.
3) Will you marry me? oh, wait, no... I don't want to get married.
vicare2017 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Hmm i loved this movie
blauwen 2 years ago
that killed my curiosity about this retarded faux horror five stars
solreavir 2 years ago
"please one of you of you give it to her so we can all get on with our lives" hahaha Criss I will never see the movie but this review was so entertaining.
EvilBeatsmith 2 years ago
If the third movie ended with Bella getting Dp'd by Edward and Jacob then that would be the perfect climax. [all pun intended]
FreePrometheus 2 years ago 18
hey Criss you should check out (This Isn't The Twilight Saga New Moon: The XXX) and give a s a review of that i hear its much better
neoarcadezr 2 years ago
i so agree with her about Bella im like they are fighting over this bitch there is nothing special about her ass Bella doesn't even look like shes into men
neoarcadezr 2 years ago 2
when a fan girl actuly told me that twilight "has a really dry story is is very clesay, but I love it" I knew it was something I just didn't want to see ever.
it's one thing to tweak with the vampire idea, but twilight just made a bunch of pixies that happen to drink blood.
DiceWarwick 2 years ago 2
@DiceWarwick
I say they're fairies... since in some mythology fairies DO drink blood
Phoenixangelgal 2 years ago 3
@Phoenixangelgal Pixie Fairy hybrid...
orgixvi3 2 years ago
i hate all this new BullShit with vampires and other mythological horror icons some things should stay the same or at least in the same ballpark i almost slapped a friend of mine when they asked me to go see twilight with them, literally i raised my hand, twilight light is just Hollywood Bullshit to make teen girls woo over that closet case main character,
kharon8 2 years ago
funny at 0:29 "bitch please" lol
deivlhunter88 2 years ago
Thank god (I just say it like that, I don't believe in god, at least not that so called god everyone believes in...spoiling comment) that I am not the only one who hates that movie!
DjGodaryD86 2 years ago
"aw, did i mention they sparkle in the sun light?"
HAHAHAHA fuckin epic!
abmars20 2 years ago
i don't mind Twilight and New Moon, but then again,i don't mind a lot of things :P
i appreciate the ppl who like AND hate the movie and give out reasonable opinions about it, i've always liked watching a movie about problems between 2 lovers, and yes, i know Stephanie Myer is such a dumb author, the way she portrayed vampires and how Bella met Edward made NO sense!
i mean, what the fuck is Edward's purpose in going to school? Stephanie Myer just put that in just so Bella and Edward can meet
SpizzTrizz 2 years ago
i'm cumdahellon, btw ;P
SpizzTrizz 2 years ago
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SpizzTrizz 2 years ago
Comment removed
x3x3adriane 2 years ago
@x3x3adriane
i'm sorry, but i don't think she owes you ANYTHING, she's a woman who is merely just expressing her opinions
SpizzTrizz 2 years ago
Oh and it only gets worse.
drnekodr 2 years ago
...I made the mistake of reading all the books... I hated Bella... kept hoping she would die... and she did.. but she didn't ....you know what I mean...
drnekodr 2 years ago 2
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I really just wanna fuck this bitch.. But all I can hear is " where do u keep your nuclear wessels" I'm afraid I'd just be laughing in her face the whole time.. When she Deserves a wild Nut blown in her face.. Oh ya, and twilight sux ;)
DmakAttack 2 years ago
personally, i like how the plot was fixated on Edward and Bella, that's why i found Twilight and New Moon awesome, it's like a forbidden love type of deal and that's always good (i think), and i liked the action in it, even though there wasn't that much, but i do agree with you, it doesn't make sense how vampires sparkle, big deal, and how Edward, (an immortal) repeats school over and over, doesn't make sense, yes, i didn't like how the vampires were portrayed, but that didn't ruin it for me.
cumdahellon 2 years ago
twlight sucks it aint literature its like fukin harlequin romance
MsKittyKittyKat 2 years ago