Never Ask a Pack Rat to Toss Out Their Clutter

[johnniebwalkin]

this woman is a genious, sounds like personal experience

[coralprincess25]

50 ways to leave your clutter -- LOL!!!!

I will sing your song as the original soundtrack during my decluttering.

[ritaemmett]

Well, music DOES make the clutter-busting a lot easier. I agree. While you are viewing these clips, did you see the clip of my "Happy Witch's Hat"? It has nothing to do with clutter, it just is the world's greatest hat.

Warmly,

Rita

[ThePsychoticDesigner]

TRY READING THIS ON

EHOW

How to handle Collectibles - A DETOX Program

[dustbunnieboo]

So true! This works with my parents. :-)

[ritaemmett]

Dear Dustbunnieboo,

If your parents are pack rats, know this -- you don't "inherit" that characteristic.

Don't let them suck you into anything. Especially when they "clean out their clutter" and show up at your place with 18 boxes of stuff that they feel sure you can use.

Warmly,

Rita

[dustbunnieboo]

You are so right, Rita. Some clutterers are almost like drug pushers with their stuff. I've had to say "no thanks" to many boxes of my parent's 'treasures' over the years.

[ritaemmett]

Yes, another option is to smile and say "I'll take your boxes of things if you don't mind that I will donate all of it to Good will or the Salvation Army. If it's NOT OK to donate it, then I'll have to say no to taking it."

If that works for you and your folks then that would help them get rid of their clutter without adding to yours. You see, they might find it too painful or difficult to bring their stuff to Goodwill themselves. They might not mind if YOU donate it for them.

Warmly,

Rita

[dustbunnieboo]

I need to try that idea out on my mother, Rita. I have a feeling she'll say 'no'. She often gives with expectations that I will be her own personal storage unit (yikes).

Thanks again! :-)

[meowmeowkitty3]

you have described my mother. Can't get rid of any of her stuff, she flips out, I wore out my back cleaning out her entire house, and it went back to what it was...and she wants me to help her clean. I said, what's the point! She won't pick up a broom. She started bringing me crap to my apartment until I told her that I didn't need it. It's very frustrating, it had a huge affect on me growing up, I couldn't have anyone over, it was and still is very, very embarrassing.

[ritaemmett]

Unless the person helps you, getting rid of someone else's stuff doesn't work. It all comes back (as you saw). Have her read The Clutter-Busting Handbook or listen to my CDs or watch our DVD. Your library should have copies. Once she starts to CHANGE HER MIND about hanging on to stuff, then both of you can work together to get rid of her clutter. I used to be just like her. If I can break the clutter habit, so can your mom.

[ritaemmett]

Here's another thought. You can be a GREAT help to your mom by accepting the clutter she offers you AS LONG AS she agrees that you can do with it what you want. Then you can toss it out or donate it. Your mom needs that kind of help at first. I asked my neighbor to help me that way. She once said, "I know a poor family that can make good money from your 7 broken toasters." I gave them to her. I KNEW she was going to toss them out, but I couldn't do it myself. Get it??

Warmly,

Rita

[meowmeowkitty3]

That's a very good idea. She's bought me things, and I have taken them, or sometimes refused them. Is your book available on amazon. My mom doesn't want to admit she has a problem, but is terribly embarrassed by her stuff, and can't stand us talking to her about it, she flips out or starts crying and says we are picking on her. the worst fights, or the most angry or emotional she gets is about her stuff. It's frustrating.

[ritaemmett]

Back in my Pack Rat Daze, I used to be terribly embarrassed by my clutter. Didn't want anyone to see it, and if someone was coming over, I'd stuff everything into a big black plastic bag and shove it into the closet. Lost a lot of important stuff that way.

The Clutter-Busting Handbook is available at stores, at Amazon and at my website. Tell your mom that if I could convert from my Pack Rat ways, anyone can -- including her.

Warmly,

Rita

[MakingMovesMajor]

@ritaemmett my mother cannot. I cannot deal with her anymore. Seriously if there is anyone out there that knows how to overcome this please let me know

[meowmeowkitty3]

ok, I just bought a copy for my mom...and yes, what you say about going to the trash, and getting the crap out is what my mother would do...she'd go out in the middle of the night and retrieve the crap. I helped her initially with her closet. Since I moved out, her clothes now occupy my former closet, half of my bedroom, and a chest of drawers, not to mention her closet and another chest of drawers, and a bunch of purses in the back room, and the living room which houses her scarves. aaahhh!!

[ritaemmett]

You are right. That's why I never ever ask a Pack Rat to throw out anything.

The secret is to find a person or group who will cherish her stuff as much as she does. That way, if she has a jacket she hasn't worn in a year, instead of stuffing it back into the closet, she can donate it to someone who will really need it and wear it and love it. Then she can say good-bye to that jacket without breaking her heart.

[meowmeowkitty3]

I had the book sent to my mother and she started talking about giving her valuables away, like her paintings. I don't know why she did that when the point isn't to give away valuable heirlooms, but the crap like the dozens of pairs of long underwear she collects and the endless clothes that populate the whole house. I have no idea why she started talking about her paintings, I guess she was trying to be difficult or to show that your advice wasn't rational. Mom doesn't make any sense!

[ritaemmett]

You sound so frustrated ... and exhausted. This is wearing you down. Did you tell her the book was coming? Have you talked to her about her clutter? If she is unreasonable and -- as you wrote -- "doesn't make any sense", then you might just have to let this go.

As hard as it is, you might have to stay out of it or she might just get madder and madder about your concerns. Sometimes we can help and sometimes we can't.