Three In One: Bingeing,Purging,Starving (The Cycle)

[claramaynardbby]

I love this. My feelings exactly. Stay strong!

[FridgePicker]

@DJshakeit100 It means to get rid off. In this sense it means to rid of food in your stomach.

[DJshakeit100]

What's purging

[Redrumxtina]

@DJshakeit100 Purging is where you get rid of the food. It could be throwing up or using diuretics (water pills) , laxatives, Ipecac Syrup

[jcmti]

it's like you've been inside my brain while i was sleeping........

[nes11727]

The language is okay...it's how he was feeling at this time..poetry

[bjesgirl]

You're so smart and eloquent! I'm so sad that ur suffering from this disease! I hope so much u get better, ur too smart to go to waste.

[marieree1973]

Wow what deep poems. I hope you get the help you need. I love your thick hair and eyebrows. My heart goes out too you. It must be hard having this illness as a male. I am a recovering food addict. It's not an easy thing to overcome. I know I will always be a food addict. I have had it under control for six months. I really pray you get better. Your such an attractive young man with your life ahead of you.

[jtart51]

wow....such language in this one...quite different from the 2010 videos!

[MyOwnStickFigure]

@jtart51 No kidding, hard for me to even watch any videos that were me walking the world. I am now walking with the Lord and He has changed me and will continue to do so.

[OneMagicalMoment]

SO TRUE!!! thanks for this wonderfull poem.

[PaulaAbdulRoxxxx6]

this is exactly what it's like. exactly. people who havn't expirenced this may this that you're exagerating but you not. this stuff is real. you loose your friends and family. life is your own cruel and hard obbsestion.

[karynwatts123]

I think you are incredibly courageous and inspirational

[MsBloggerAnonymous]

Like a newborn. Amazing.

[OopsyDaisyyyXx]

that was unreal, lovvvvveeeedddd it (:

[shonaghify]

Thank you for posting this. You said it all in a nutshell!!!! Hope you're doing okay.

[organicjennifer]

This is so amazing. Thank you so much for posting this. I feel so related to, listening to your voice.

[joystickck]

this is so fucking true...

[mischief4911]

Beautifully written and so eloquent. You truely are in touch with your inner-self and that of others "living" with the same issues. Your words speak volumes. Thank You for sharing your soul with us all

peace, love, xoxox

[viannafin]

Your words are so powerful.

[magx3bby]

wow your an amazing poet =]

[sratrat78]

I love the part about the cashier and what they think. i work in a gorcery store and buy my binge food there after work sometimes....its so awkward and embarassing. Especially when they comment on how tired i look becuase I had been up all night purging the night before and will only repeat the cycle again.

[BelinderrrBeyBey]

omg, ur mi hero ='( i know how u feel

[bass8386]

it seems to me that im more along the lines of a starver and a binger im 6'1 and 120lbs and i weighd 210lbs 1 year and a half ago i cant stop but im soo afraid of gaining weight

[thatmanley]

What gender is this person? Is the androgeny another of the consequences of the eating disorder? Very poetic and truly insightful.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Thank you, my gender identity is male. Androgyny or my ambigious nature is not a result of my eating disorder, my eating disorders are actually a result of it in early childhood years... Anyhow, blessings your way.

[chloeroisthebest]

i really need help. i can't stop this starving and binging cycle. O GOD

[MyOwnStickFigure]

What is keeping you?

[hamsterbaby6]

everything he said is so true. i agree completely.

[MrTsBastardChild]

This shit was so fucking real. You mentioned shit I hate to admit but I'm glad you did.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

I don't know why exactly but there is something very delightful and grateful in me that you, specifically, are checking out my vids right now. Thanks you. This piece is fucking intense, omg, so real though... such a vicious cycle.

[MrTsBastardChild]

I don't know why either, but :o)

[yelenazerk]

You need to pull your shit together, make your body and mind healthy and write a book addressing all of these issues you've just described so exactly and beautifully.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

I have been published and plan to continue to do so... so thank you --- and I am in recovery... which means I am trying to make my mind and body healthy.

[Anyutka88]

i want to cry this is what i'm going through

[kazzyjbeanz]

I wish there were more people in this world , who spoke the Truth like you do. I love these videos for their honesty and reality of the situation.

[rjanew]

Beautifully written and read! It's like your words have been pulled from my mind, only I hadn't realised it until you read it (that sounds stupid but... yeah)

I totally understand what you mean with the smelly spew. I totally reak of it right now, and I just can't seem to get rid of it. And the overfilled trolly. And the inability to eat. But I mostly just block it out.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your amazing insight, and I wish you all the best!

[FantasiaBliss123]

very good poems, thanks for sharing, I like the way you tell them, seems very sincere

[LucyShy]

Leaps and bounds babe - I hope you see it!

Happening, right NOW.

Leaps and bounds.

[girlwithoutaface]

lols beach ball belly. i liked that the most

[shaunaplague]

Johnny, your videos almost always make me cry. I actually am crying right now. Your videos make me so uncomfortable/angry/sad, because you are speaking the truth, and the truth is hard to hear. When I live my ED behaviors on a day to day basis, I usually don't stop to think about what I am doing and why I am doing it, I try to block it out. But you are so insightful and full of wisdom. I hear myself in your words, and so do so many other people. You are an amazing person.

<3

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Doll, it seems to me as if you did stop and take a chance to realize the reality of your own eds. Bravo to you, this will help you move forward. I am happy to be able to reach you through my videos. THANK YOU.

[XxSaraBluexX]

Beautiful words. The last part really hit home with me. You put it into words that I never could put together. People just don't understand that it's not easy. e-e

[forevermuddledme]

you described each in the poem i think very well, i especially felt something with starving, brought me to tears along with purging. thank you for this, your poems and art really strike a chord in me, which i never thought possible. well done and keep fighting

[PringlesMinis]

Johnny you are so articulate,you really have hit the nail on the head,with all your words comes such understanding. It's so great to have you out there,understanding what most do not. Thank you so much.

[glamourizedtinkerbel]

Your words moved me to tears, they depict so much that I personally know.

[Carriesue81]

Wow! I found these very personal and Very powerful. I can related to them strongly.

[ViolinCyndee]

Powerful.. Hope you are getting healthier every day..

[peppernme]

Johnny, I shared one of your earlier videos with Cathy today because I talk so much about you. I MUST share the last one and this one too, if she will let me. These are just too important and powerful to stay alone on my computer with my bingeing belly being the only one watching. You are talent; you are love.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Lemon, I am honored you shared them with her!!!

[NoellaC47]

Omg you are AMAZING!

I love your videos!

I have Orthorexia and your videos REAALLLY have helped me!!

Thank you for being so amazing!!

-Noella

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Thank you honey. How long have you had orthorexia? Do you find yourself in control of it right now? struggling with it? I will be on TV here in a few weeks talking about orthorexia nervosa, I encourage you to watch. I will update my blog when it's going to air. It will be on ABC

[NoellaC47]

i have kind of lost track, lol. Im kind of struggleing with it still, but im gradually getting better.

And i will indeed watch it, i cant wait.

[miarose777]

You rock Johnny cakes! :)

[t3aze69]

I've been watching your videos for awhile now and I really just want to say what an inspiration you are. Just watching you makes me fight harder to stay healthy. Thank you!

[MyOwnStickFigure]

You are most welcome BUT thank you, thank you for telling me this, thank you for fighting too.

[abcdefghigkimacat]

wow. great imagery and wording. the purging one ended very powerfully even though it was describing sexual stuff...it's a great skill-to shock ur audience. i liked the binging one...the image of the super market. just great. keep up the great work.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

thank you, yes, i included that ending because it ties into my bulimia and gender identity issues which are one of the key factors to the development of this disease growing up...therefore reference of genitalia and masturbation were a great way to capture my experience... "multiples in mind" refers to repeated masturbation/ejaculation which depicts the cycle factor

[MyOwnStickFigure]

oh shit, and im not saying im over here jacking off like a madman, it's wording- referrence - artistic analogy

[abcdefghigkimacat]

lol well yeah i understand that use of artistic analogy and its a great tool. you're a very inspiring poet and good luck on that thing you're doing on ABC....when is that anyway?

[MyOwnStickFigure]

lol thanks for understanding

miguel sancho, the director, will let me know within the next few weeks when it will air. they opt for this spring.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

I AM HONORED.

[lemja]

BEAUTIFUL! I'm crying

[insidethemusicbox11]

wow. just. wow.

your words blow me away

thanks so much for sharing :)

[nevline08]

wow. I love it. thanks.

[DivaMakeup]

You ARE fucking beautiful! Johnny you will beat this! You will live for a very long time, and you will live with the knowledge and joy that you are the slayer of the twin whore monsters of mia and ana. You are much stronger than any eating disorder! You will get through this.

Stay strong, my friend.

[MyOwnStickFigure]

Thank you love. I am so up on your interview questions right now, coming along nice. I will send you a rough draft so you see where my part is going. Hey please go ask me that personal question, I am ocd dying to know!