Interview with Daniel Johns 1999

[heatherdumas]

He really is beautiful. That could have been a problem for him too. Even the prettiest, skinniest people have issues. They don't always look at themselves like everyone else does and have perfect lives. I'm sorry, but I've noticed when a guy hits on me (usually in a perverted way, like licking his lips at me or even one guy touching me), I feel so disgusted with my body. Maybe that's just me. Anyway, DJ helps me through my eating/body issues. I love this guy and relate to him in so many ways.

[EMUEXPORT3]

neon ballroom is the best fuckn album i have ever heard, in my teens it was the best outlet to the onslaught of feelings i began to feel

[whenroutinebites]

I think this was recorded with a rubber duck. And that's a cryin shame because I'd really really like to actually be able to see Daniel's stunning face.

[jamesarongray]

great i weight 65 and i don't even have a disorder... fuck it

[Danimal77]

@jamesarongray

You way 65 pounds and you don't have an eating disorder??? WHAT??? Are you serious?

[shidenblade]

@jamesarongray would that be 65 pounds or kilos??

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

Interviewer: Happier?

Daniel: Yep.

There you go. It should almost all correct :)

[ikhanisation]

@Tr8ersInShallowWater That was really nice from you to transcript the whole interview. Wow, thank you.

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

heard this album” it makes people that say you’re exploiting your problems just seem like such a little speck that you just don’t worry about it.

Interviewer: Would you say that you’re cured now? That you will be cured, in time?

Daniel: I don’t think I’m 100% cured, that would be naïve to think that, but I’m definitely on the road to being cured. Definitely better than I’ve been in the last… my state of mind at the moment is better than it’s been in the last 2 or 3 years.

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

And now out on the road with Neon Ballroom, Daniel is able to call the shots in his career more than ever and is keeping things from spiralling out of control. Critics might suggest that Daniel’s new confessional side serves a promotional service as well, but he’s got little time for such charges.

Daniel: I don’t care what people think. When you get letters that say “You’ve helped me admit to anorexia” and “You’ve helped me get… I was gonna kill myself until

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

When that happened that was like when I saw a doctor and was told to change or things would get dramatically worse.

Voice over: Fortunately things took a turn for the better. The combination of the cathartic affect of writing poetry, the helpful impact of anti-depressant medication and the positive response of his bandmates to the music he’d written, all helped draw Daniel out of his seclusion and into the studio, where Silverchair began work on their new album.

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

Daniel: Yeah because I think the biggest myth about eating disorders is that it’s all to do with fashion and it’s all to do with, it’s all to do with fitting a certain stereotype. It’s not about losing weight to a lot of people it’s more about just having control, and…

Interviewer: How much did you lose? Do you know how much you weigh?

Daniel: I know that the lightest I was was like 50kg, I don’t know what that is in pounds or anything. (On screen- 50kg = 110lbs).

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

Interviewer: So quite the opposite of thinking you’re too fat?

Daniel: Yeah, every time I guess I felt that my life was out of control and it was kinda out of my hands and couldn’t do anything about it, I guess I took control of food intake cause it was the only thing that no one could really take charge of.

Interviewer: Is that weird to you, that people just assume that it would be impossible for a guy to get caught up in something like that?

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

Ana’s Song the actual poem I was eating like, I don’t know, 2 or 3 pieces of fruit a day.

Interviewer: Just fruit? That was it?

Daniel: Yeah but, but not very much.

Interviewer: Wow.

Voice over: But like many people that suffer from eating disorders, most of whom are women, with Daniel it had nothing to do with having a negative body image.

Daniel: It was never about my body because I always, I was always embarrassed, embarrassed about being skinny. I didn’t…

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

I had to take medication because every time I left the house I’d think people were, had conspiracies and people were after me, and… every time I left the house I was gonna get beaten up.

Voice over: And while living alone, away from the watchful eyes of his family and friends, Daniel’s eating disorder intensified.

Interviewer: How little was it that your were eating?

Daniel: It got to the stage where it was pretty little, that when I was, when I wrote

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

touring in support of their Freak Show album in 1997. Back at home once the tour ended, on the advice of a therapist, Daniel moved out of his family home and into a rented house. But things took a turn for the worse when he isolated himself to the point where he saw virtually no one and did nothing but write poetry for the first 6 months of 1998.

Daniel: I didn’t want to go in public cause I felt… I had a lot of trouble with anxiety,

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

But the pain evidenced in the very personal lyrics Daniel wrote for “Ana’s Song” and indeed much of Neon Ballroom reaches beyond the cliché troubles of overnight success, and clutches right at the heart of the emotional problems he’s been grappling with for the past few years.

Daniel: When it comes to just being a person and living a normal life, and actually having a life, I didn’t for a year.

Voice over: Daniel’s depression and paranoia really began to surface as the band was

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

which, it turns out, is the general subject of the band’s single “Ana’s Song”. Our colleagues in America have the story.

Daniel: Ana’s just really a metaphor, kind of, just a name for a composite of people just hiding behind an eating disorder.

Voice over: Catapulted into the rock’n’roll fast lane before he could even drive, life certainly hasn’t been what you call normal for some time for Silverchair’s Daniel Johns.

[Tr8ersInShallowWater]

@kariiniiz Girl: Coming up, what's been making headlines in music and entertainment across the globe.

Girl: With their latest album, Neon Ballroom, to go out and promote, the Australian trio Silverchair couldn’t really hide the fact that lead singer and songwriter Daniel Johns now looks radically different from the way he did as a teenager just a few years back. Swamped by his group’s success, Johns sank into a deep depression and developed an eating disorder,

[sickenedemotion]

if he was embarrassed being skinny then why did he say "in my head the flesh seems thicker" in ana's song? just wonderin'.

[Liliumx0]

You can hear in his voice how exhausted and drained he is.

Very sad.

[kddbb]

His music was the only think i could relate to. I was really depressed back then.

[alontan]

I dont care if people says he is freak or that he is gay. I know he is not gay and that he could be some freak but he is an artist, a real artist generally has emotional disorders, I think think anyways the best record are frogstomp and freakshow, but he is an artist and I support him to the most. AGUANTE DANIEL!!

[250honda]

odd i've never seen anything about these guys on MTV :/

[mentalillnesstalking]

I had serious problems with OCD and depression when I was a teenager and listening to Neon Ballroom helped me very much. I'm grateful that Daniel Johns wrote that album because it helped me so much. I hope that his life is easier now more than 10 years later.

[GrungeMetalRocker]

my Idol !

[LovelyAj09]

This video really drive me to admire Daniel more than I do.. Keep it up! fight!! :)

[maddie8415]

What an idiot therapist to recommend he move out and live by himself...

[byalfanisa]

he helped many of us from his songs. He made me think I am not the only one that feel depress. I love him for that.

[mariaperiwinkle]

neon ballroom got me through tough times in highschool. i didn't have any friends. i'd sit in the corner downstairs in my house and listen to it in headphones and cry

[meldasue]

@mariaperiwinkle ::hugs:: I think that's why Daniel's music had so much appeal for people. He knew what that was like.

[mariaperiwinkle]

@meldasue thanks:) ya it really takes courage to put yourself out there like he does/did. it's inspirational for sure

[creasicle]

I think it's good that music can speak to people about their own lives but I felt the opposite to most people on here and that listening to Neon Ballroom made me kind of mope around when actually things weren't so bad

[TheBadAssKiller]

Silverchair USED TO BE a great hard rock band... They definitely fell into the pits of HELL and completely changed their style of music to CRAP!! It changed so much that they should have just changed the bands name altogether.

[AceGuitarR7]

@TheBadAssKiller yeh i hate the direction the bands taken. i know bands dont like doing the same thing over and over, but at least kepp it rock. i even really like diorama even though that was a different sound.

[tecabealf]

i love you 1999

[notthatbasic]

When my eating problems started it was all about control. I know this is really old now, but I'm glad someone was telling people that it isn't always all about weight.

[DanielJohnsLover]

saw them at Reading in Aug 99 - front row, total fangirl. He looked ready to drop, poor thing - ribs sticking out through his top and everything, and that was when he was going through re-feeding. He seems very happy (and mostly stoned) nowadays - this is a good thing :D

[kariiniiz]

i dont understand very much ): nobody knows where i can found this interview

in internet ( but written?)

sorry for the discomnforts . but i really want to know what he said.

[kariiniiz]

Yay !

yeah in the description is fine for me :D , i really want to know what they said.

but i dont understand the english when i hear it very well

really , thanks you !

great video ! i love silverchair

[kariiniiz]

please you can put some subtitles D:??

i dont understand the english very well , but if read i will uderstand,

almost the parts 1:40 to 2:00 please

!! :D

[meldasue]

@kariiniiz I'll see what I can do - if I can't do the subtitles, I'll put a transcript in the video description.

[Will137]

Stop the Nirvana/Silverchair crap.

Cobain couldnt hack it so gave up. Dans been through a bucketload of real life occuring problems, most of which he didn't choose. They are still going strong and have grown musically, i can't imagine nirvana would have produced anything more musically intelligent then In Utero.

[zpider96]

He killed hisself (and the band) changing that way. Ain't a shame that they goes by the hand of different band styles just to go with the music flow? They should remain as they were supposed to be...Just my opinion...don't attack me...haha

[Ramoa111]

I mean, Johns even moved like Kurt!

[Ramoa111]

Jesus. Silverchair was ignited/inspired/born FROM Nirvana. We're not talking quantum physics here! Johns probably wouldnt even have grabbed a guitar ever if it wasnt for NIrvana. I mean, even their name! Remember where it came from! It's cool thou. Silverchair moved my bones just as much as Nirvana.

I really miss Silverchair...

[kraftwerkt]

@Ramoa111 in total agreement. they were clearly influencedby nirvana, danieldoes look and sound like kurt, BUT that doesnt mean thatthey are tring to be them, jesus. they are grunge. its hardtobe grunge and notbe compared to nirvana. the point is. both band are absolutly kickass

[Music2mosh2]

@Ramoa111 hhhmm... From the earliest interviews with the band. They (Ben and Daniel) both mention that their influences were hugely from what their parents listened to. Such as Black Sabbath, Deep Purple and Led Zeppelin from the age 8 ........... And the band name was from a book called the silver chair. check it out on wikipedia, ohh and that had nothing to do with nirvana either. Nice line though.. with the whole quantum physics thing....

[MyIronDuck]

You know, I felt nostalgic for some Silverchair today, so I decided to watch a ton of their videos, but I feel inclined to ask: where are all these Kurt Cobain comparisons coming from? Are we still looking at Daniel as if he were 15 and this is 1995 all over again? Don't get me wrong I love Kurt's music, but as a person I think he was weak and pathetic and Daniel is so much stronger than that. He's not as whiny or mopy either.

[meldasue]

@MyIronDuck Let's see...both are (were) blond, both play(ed) the guitar and both front(ed) 3-man bands...conclusion: silverchair was an imitator, even though their musical style is completely different and Daniel's voice is far, far, far better than Kurt's ever was.

[OMGitsSeppie]

@meldasue i don't think those circumstances makes silverchair an imitator. there are plenty of bands who have similar line-ups. you can tell frogstomp is influenced by grunge, like a lot of music at the time was, but i wouldn't suggest they were copying or impersonating nirvana or kurt cobain at all

[meldasue]

@OMGitsSeppie I was being sarcastic, though that's harsher than MylronDuck deserved - I didn't give his/her post a fair read. I'm just fed up with all the comments and videos (all over YouTube) comparing silverchair to Nirvana, half of them from people who weren't even born when Cobain died.

[elmeuquarto]

here.. its like Tidus of FFX

[DanielJohnsLover]

he's kind of a pot head bogan these days - but considering the years of misery and pain, I say - carry on. I figure the pot use came in as a way to deal with the arthritis and it kinda stuck. He deserves happiness - I adore all 3 of them

[atillawith]

Seeing this makes me respect Daniel even more.

[MattkNT]

remind me of kurt cobain!lol

[zzsharka]

no, he puked everytime he saw food, more to it than you think.

[USASoCCerGoaL]

daniel always had a bit of a social problem. From his imaginary friend as a child to not feeling appreciated or accepted as a person even after frogstomp. Hes come along way now, im proud hes over come alot of his demons. Its not easy to beat those personal battles

[sarahjf2007]

I cant even describe how gorgeous I think this guys is-

[lenief]

sure you can, give it a shot!

[rockandroll4life1]

hey there, i love your youtube username,

lol! its cool and yeah!

SILVERCHAIR4LIFE!!!! dan's a major,

hero of mine!

[dmohr7]

dude sometimes its not tat some yrics have to make sense its te tone and sound they create

[Hoestvind]

there's one thing i just don't get.He says that it was never about a negative body image and he never felt too fat,but why is he singing "in my head the flesh seemed thicker" in Ana's song???Isn't that contradictory????

[dirrx]

it's either because the lyrics are more general, thus not speaking directly about his case or he was too embarassed to admit that it had something to do with this

or "in my head the flesh seems thicker" means that he didn't perceive himself as being that skinny, he thought he was normal but in reality he was emaciated

or he was just trying to point out that it's not about losing weight because you think you're fat in the first place, it's about self-loathing and the reasons are multiple

[tortoise35cat]

He's said in interviews that "in my head the flesh seems thicker" is about him challenging himself and seeing how far he could take it.  He's also said that he always knew he was getting really thin and could see the changes in his body, but only when he put on clothes he'd think that somehow his clothes had gotten bigger, but that nothing had changed and he still looked the same.

[Hoestvind]

but that means he had a wrong body image.cause when you're below 50kg at 1,80m height and you DONT see that you're too thin,you don't see the changes it is simply a wrong body image.

Yeah but maybe he didn't really want to admit that.

[meldasue]

Just to add to what the others have said, he's said different things at different times, probably depending on his stage of recovery and how much he felt like he could reveal to the press.

[dirrx]

yeah, I remember reading an interview where he even said that he didn't suffer specifically from anorexia when directly asked about that

i guess it just depended on his level of comfort with the interviewer

but my understanding is that he was explaining it this way because he wanted to emphasize that this illness is much more complex than what people generally think

either way, I think he was very brave about it

[akiko86]

It may be that this line is about a larger experience of Anorexia than just his personal struggle. He may also be suggesting that at the time, he didn't realize how unhealthy he had become or how bad he looked - one of the symptoms of Anorexia and of malnourishment in general is that your perception of your body is warped.

[o0SkinnyNiK0o]

it's definitely about a distorted body image. they don't see themselves the same as everyone else. clothes are bigger, the scale says one thing, people comment, but to you it hasn't changed. sometimes it sparks people to push harder or that they can take it further because they are still "fat" or havent lost any/or enough to be worried or to stop. in their head, the flesh seems thicker...

[pixxiee321]

@Hoestvind because he didnt really notice that he was losing weight. he was eating little but to him he still looked the same.

[TheBornLosers]

@Hoestvind its possible he was referring to how he was dealing with fame and touring and stuff. like, he thought he would be able to handle everything, but really couldn't. hope that made sense.

[BLueEyeButterfly]

look at him.. you really think it's bullshit? have you SEEN any of the interviews from earlier that year? the guy was a complete wreck. anxiety depression anorexia and all. he wasnt out to exploit his problems, they were just the emotional basis of his songs. he was brave enough to release ana's song which meant he evenually had to talk about his e.d. it's not a fun thing to go through.

oh and i think they did like what THREE shows in 98?

[thedayitriedtodie]

i was talking about the reporter... the BS he is making about it.

[BLueEyeButterfly]

oh alrite then.

[lovepeacenappiness23]

so sad

[robbiereindeerlover]

I can relate to this, I love silverchair.

[skinhugging]

he's amazing

[0371998]

Big..concert...Music all time...yeah its the best !! food !when you have to sing ..and play music you have not the same need of food...cause music is food...your mind is full of this!! Hmm...only the musician understand this !! Sorry for my bad english !

[14ed14ed]

He seems weak in this era but he was so charsmatic

[silverchyld]

I know this interview came later, after he was starting to get better, but you can hear in his voice how weak he was. With severe anorexia [I've seen, not a 1st person POV] a person is too weak to get a good breath and speak.

[meldasue]

He admitted later that he really wasn't well during the NB tour. It's amazing that he was able to perform so well.

[weedhoppr]

I'm a big fan

[weedhoppr]

Verey interesting indeed

[PeaceChick07]

he describes exactly how many of us with anorexia feel. It is not about appearance!

[stinkyeggs]

Well I think that maybe the reasoning behind his moving out was an attempt at control, because as he said a lot of the problem was related to how not eating was the only thing other people couldn't control. So I think they were probably trying to give him that control that he was lacking.

[meldasue]

That seems logical, and it goes along with the idea of 'relying on other people' too much - if you're relying on others, you're leaving the decision-making (control) to them.

[AlanAyazyam]

50 KG=110 Pounds

[nxvb]

poor daniel so skinny ...now he's still thin but he looks healthier...hurra!!!

[TheEvilMeow]

i dont know why, but depressed guys apeal to me much more...

[well, actually maybe i do know...]

[2x4b96123]

its cus you just wanna hug them and you feel they can relate to you?

[ElliexxVeronica]

-Are you happier?

-Yeah...

At that time that would have been the nicest thing to hear... I'm so happy he's kinda ok now. Of course, there's always that "Who knows", but i'll keep believing he's perfectly fine right now... ♥ DAN!

[eatingcandy]

omg he was so beautiful

[eatingcandy]

and I meant inside and out, when he finally decided to let it all out he really finally seemed to be himself and he was so pure and beautiful and adorable, I can't believe that they took him out of his family when he was in such an unstable condition I mean he just wanted to live a normal life and most likely had barely anything left but his family life I mean I don't know what was going on and I could be all wrong on that but it sounds like a pretty stupid decision to me.

[meldasue]

>>I can't believe that they took him out of his family when he was in such an unstable condition

I never understood that, either. I don't think he's ever said why his therapist thought it would be a good idea.

[eatingcandy]

yeah it sounds all wrong to me, especially guys use to be really childlike on the inside at that age and why make somebody live all alone if the person is already isolating him/herself from the rest of the world?

[soniasonia]

I read in an interview he said sometimes he would go home and break stuff and through fits so maybe thats why the therapist told him to go chill out, also in a Roads Report a fan said they overheard John Watson talking to someone about his mom saying "Do you have to say fuck" and he was all "Why cant i say fuck? You know what mom,fuck you" or something like that.

Idk w/e.. more pointless information i thought someone might like to know. lol

[ElliexxVeronica]

There's this thing about anorexia, that somehow people don't get well being surrounded by the ones that care most... I don't know how it is, but it's true... Even in medical centres/hospitals, parents aren't alowed to meet their children for a long time...That's for a fact...

[eatingcandy]

yep I've heard of that but as far as I know he moved to a house all by himself and he always said that he saw like noone at all besides his brother and later on paul mac so it doesn't seem like anyone besides his parents took care of him but on the other hand what do I know I just get protective when it comes to him and that's ridiculous cos it's none of my business however I'm glad that he's doing fine now.

[meldasue]

Found something: "Most of the time, I was actually living by myself . . . It was the advice from the guys I was seeing to kind of stop relying on other people so much."

(from rocknewsdotcom, 'Ready for the Year 2000, issue May 15-28, 1999)

[eatingcandy]

oh no that is breaking my heart!

[ChairRox93]

Everyone gets protective when it comes to a fragile soul like Daniel

[soniasonia]

He left home not b/c of his Anorexia. If anything isolation makes it worse b/c you have no one watching you unlike in hospitals where theres doctors supervising you, duh, so if he was seeing a therapist for eating they would never say go move out,so he was probably seeing a therapist for anger issues. He said in interviews that he would go home and break stuff and snap at people.

[soniasonia]

Also he said he wanted to leave his house b/c he had locked himself up in his room for 2 years b/c he was afraid of being beaten up. Age 16-18, hence the song and video for Cemetery

[meldasue]

He said in the RS interview that he went to the therapist to 'learn to associate with people', and perhaps moving out was a means of forcing him to deal with everyday life and people, rather than relying on his parents and others to do it for him. He didn't see the therapist for very long, so he may not have been aware of the extent of Daniel's problems. And somewhere, he said that he'd only talked to his doctor about his eating disorder.

[funsized410]

wow, finally this was uploaded! thanks so much!

I just want to give him a big hug :(

*

[meldasue]

>>wow, finally this was uploaded!

Yeah, I was surprised no one had ever uploaded it. I stumbled across it through the Wayback machine for a defunct site.

[morrisa2]

Poor guy, he was so unwell :-(

[angelfoodlips]

this is the daniel johns i fell in love with. he's sooooo different now. he seemed much kinder and gentler here.