Marcus Brigstocke - Planet Corduroy (3of8)

[Projectrez]

I was sceptical during part 1....He's getting funnier now though :-)

[StahlP]

I´m going to change it to a place called Mine... Epic!

[thenarstar]

0:08-0:23

I saw a news report on the T.V. where residents of Weymouth (where the olympic sailing events are being held) who are concerned about the parking during the games.

[kattowitz4]

"Nah the tubes be packed d'get meh? People gettin' on with javelins n shit fuck off man"

[xxcelestialangelxx]

what is he? a f**king plant? lmao ;p

[DestroyaDoll]

@EctoSpectricity -- Seriously! Watching it at home, and I was laughing my arse off...I wondered why I was the *only* one!

[EctoSpectricity]

"and pedophilia join the EU" why didn't that get any laughs?

the crowd is shit

[clonecommander62]

'Where will we park?'

[MysteriousStranger03]

a place called mine, classic :)

[Wrekkit1]

'He is a prick, and I couldnt be happier that this is going down on film'

[Alwilsh]

8 people are friends of David the neighbour! lol

[OblivionCalling]

@Alwilsh Nah, David Blaine has eight sock accounts.

[subterraneanmonkey]

"How scared does a nation of people have to be to vote for that orange-faced, self-aggrandising, cock-sucking, racist, panty pad mother-fucker?"

[iraniche]

english people who live and work abroad are still utter berks today

[jimbob1969]

he's a cunt

[shallotson]

@jimbob1969 Why are so many people hating on Marcus?

[Gerstein1]

4:03 onwards

This is the first time I can honestly type: LMAO!

[Q80Girl1986]

"The thing that frightens me is within 4 years we should all be speaking Muslim" LOL

[LUKE070069]

I'll be sure to do that you extension blocking prick =D

[CharlieSpeed16]

"I'd like him to go in a freak yachting accident. Really freak, not even at sea. Just crossing the road one day and FWOOF, yacht falls out of the sky."

[happyjellyfish]

Marcus gives Rory Bremner a run for his money doing imitations/accents. His Bush impression is just as good as Rory's Blair impression. XD

[Ki11erC]

@thewilloffire08 maybe they have the right idea about that :P lol

[traybake1]

what did his neighbour do i think i missed it? did he block his extention...the swine!!!! lol!

[CreamMonkey]

The background really fucks with your eyes

[XOXheartAmy]

Kilroy: That orange-faced, self-agrandising, cock-sucking, racist, panty-pad motherfucker

Marcus Brigstocke rules!

[Gellis2009]

great stand up show. but as a builder he is wrong about foreign builders showing up on time doing the job for less money. 9 out of 10 of my jobs is repairing botch jobs some foreigners have thrown together that falls apart in a week.

I can take a joke unlike some though so still funny.

[thewilloffire08]

to be honest,america is worse than us on the subject of immigration,they have armed men at the borders

[TheCaptainLulz]

because they dont have a 20 mile moat you git.

[pjsmoulder]

paedophilia - where paedophiles come from.

[Catherine3234]

For some reason the way he says "They'll want our things" is hilarious to me!

[DesertSun0]

The Daily Mail sounds like Fox News.

[willstar01]

Fox News is worse. You guys have Glen Beck. He is your Kilroy.

[DesertSun0]

I live in Canada so he's not really ours. The stupidity he emits does tend to leak over the border though.

[Liorte1973]

@DesertSun0 Yep, right wing and reactionary

[DainBramageStudios]

@DesertSun0 It's basically the same! Except in Britain, 99% of people ignore it!

[danbo1984]

@DainBramageStudios if only that were true...

[frusciante39]

@DesertSun0 yeah it is the equivilant far-right moronic lie peddler, but even the Daily Mail wouldn't dream of saying half the things they say on Fox News. In fact a lot of the stuff that Ann Coulter and Glenn Beck say would be illegal to say on British television on the grounds that 'inciting racial hatred' is a crime in the UK

[TornadoCreator]

@DesertSun0

That's because the Daily Mail is the UK's Fox News, just without so much Christianity, and more snobby nobility worship.

[LuxVertas]

@DesertSun0 You don't know the half of it!

[FFQueen92]

@DesertSun0 It's worse, because it's a newspaper. That means that not only does it tell people what to think but they think they're intelligent because they have to read it...

Go watch Russel Howard's show at the Apollo (It's here on YT). He sums up the contents nicely.

[Slapbass13]

@DesertSun0 Pretty much, but FOX has way more influence of the American people than the Mail has on the British public.

[ShanksDChopper]

@DesertSun0 More or less, yes. I feel that, like most UK vs US things, the UK's Daily Mail is a bit more sedate than USA's Fox News but they try and achieve the same thing.

[blingadingading]

@DesertSun0 Indeed it is.

[xXAloeVeraxX]

BRITIANS FULL!

[Tathrim]

"well the thing that frightens me is that within 4 years we will all be speaking muslim you may laugh but they eat swans" he is a fucking legend!

[knullesen]

Can't believe i haven't seen this guy before, awesome comedy!

[ShadowPandamassacre]

Boing, "Can I do your plumbing?"

[tenloginjestzajety]

OMG.. Orange-faced, self-aggrandizing, cocksucking racist, panty-pad motherfucker.. Now that's what I call detailed description

*dies*

[tenirpaslager]

the crowd is so shit

[OblivionSilk]

No worries - im red in the face to make up for them XD

[Unomite]

"A freak yachting accident, really freak, not even at sea"

LMAO

[Redroosda]

Yeah man funny AS!

[EatMyCheeseYouMother]

"Coz he's a prick and he blocked my extension"

Hahaha legend!

[Muscari]

i wanna meet this dave and kick him in the balls

[FredKongFooey]

I couldn't agree more. He needs his balls kicked so hard that they either A) Explode out of his ears or B) cave in and absorb into his blood stream so that his blood becomes 25% sperm.

[cherabim123]

He is SO right about Daily Mail readers!!  So many people don't realise how right wing and influentially racist it actually is. I love that he brings real political issues to the forefront of people's mind through his comedy. Hopefully people don't just laugh but it makes them think!

[maniacluke]

Couldn't agree more, He's the "Bill Hicks" of modern British Comedy.

[kittygirl792]

What's this extension this Brit speaks of?

[Muscari]

i think he's talking about an extension in his house, like an extra bathroom

[cherabim123]

Extension on a house...like extra room or space added on to a house

[TheMcjosh]

this gys very funny :)

[MattRhys20]

We telephone my cousin, she come round with 4 other people, we lift it eventually we work 9 extra hours, but is ok we dont charge. LOL

[AntFemale]

im from portsmouth and i love him!!!!

[TheDarkHippy93]

What is he, a fucking plant???

KEEP THINGS THE SAME! KEEP THINGS THE SAME!

[Gellis2009]

LMAO What a cut off point to the video.

"Till one of em rapes your wife"

[Stevie2Sxc]

i can imagine it as a TV show cliffhanger.

"yeah, till one of them raped your wife!" dun dun DUNNNNN!!! *credits roll*

[065bowr]

1:58 if fucking hilarious!!!

[IMyFriendAmMe]

with a fuckin stick lol

[afromanjack]

booed off? perhaps. but i heard he got a blowjob once. can u honestly say that you even know what that is? i mean i'll level with you i don't... i've got a vague idea but.. i'm not sure anyone actually knows what they are really..

[jeroennickman]

No..he didn't. He's a brilliant comdian and you're a total cunt who I bet couldn't string a single funny sentance together. You try getting over 1700 fans on Facebook alone and doing a sell-out UK before you criticize people like him you twat. He survived on the minimum wage for many years to get his comedy career on the ground so don't chat bullshit. Prove it next time, wanker.

[kaichi23]

@ancientraver19881989 Thats cuz he went on after some crap rapper was cut off lol

that and he was talking about deforetation not doing comerdy

[mesticoprincesa]

he sounds aussie sometimes!

[obviouslypepsi]

More New Zealand, I'd say. It's mostly upper-middle class english, but with a hint of the kiwi occasionally.

[kalkafraz]

pahaha he really hates his neighbour....fuckin daily mail.

[calumsensible]

"I could hear his anus HEALING OVER"

if you didnt laugh at that your not human

[SaphPunk]

what a great place to end

"till one of them rapes your wife"

:O

[BaldricksInferior]

romania, bulgaria and paedophilia... lol

[CJL2K8]

''walking down the escalator with a shotput,health n safety boyyyy'' lol fkin r8 funny

[benbrocklehurst]

"within 4 years we shall all be speaking muslim" hahahahahahaha!!!!!!

[ShedHead9]

"what is he, a fucking plant?"

haha what a legend!!

[Cha0tic86]

hehe :D

[iloveutube9999]

you may laugh Marcus but they eat swans roflmao

[cherryberry360]

AHhhh I love this guy, his voices are SO GOOD

[threecardmontegirl]

I agree with the kilroy thing! yacht falls out of the sky!

[gullivera]

Sorry to rant here, I know this is a comedy video, but I felt it was important,he assumes that all builders are like that, dishonest, lazy, and racist.

Its a shame that he presumably has either a) had a bad experience with a British builder and is tarring us all with the same brush. Or b) has never employed a British builder and is only going by what he's seen on shows like House of Horrors.

[queenastilon]

Most people who've had experience with builders have had bad ones. Yes, there are plenty of honest, dilligent people among builders, plumbers, etc., but there are also far too many who are not, and it's often too difficult to tell the difference.

Plumbers: One quoted me 650 quid for installing a simple shower (that I already had), and wanted to sabotage my emersion heater to save him installing a switch.

This does not mean, however, that immigrant builders will be any better.

[gullivera]

It can be hard to tell the difference (sometimes, and its difficult to know who to trust, I agree, but its still tarring everyone the same.

There is a certain amount of blame to be laid on the cowboys of this country, I agree. As to over charging, its important to bear in mind that self employed people have a lot of overheads to consider, and on £120 a day (What I used to earn as a plumber before work ran dry), I would just break even in a year.

[gullivera]

And yeah, the "plumber" who intended to sabotage your immersion, yeah, thats another thing I hate, he can't really call himself a plumber in all seriousness.

I'd fit a switch for if you like, but I don't touch electrics, lol!

I still think there is some snobbery about though, I've encountered it myself, one girl I met at speed dating (Don't laugh!), on learning I was a plumber said in all seriousness "Oh, so you rip*off old ladies then?"

I'm a big bloke, but it still hurts, *sniff*

[booshman15]

it doesnt matter whether builders, plumbers, electricians etc are crap and immigrant work is cheaper, better etc... he's using the stereotype people have for a laugh. chill out.

[gullivera]

Hey, I like his material, I just don't agree with him on this point. And I suspect (Being I've heard/read/seen a lot of his stuff) that he really does feel that way.

And did you not read the disclaimer at the start of his show? He encourages disagreement "its good, it shows you're thinking," thying is, this is a different situation, he's more than just a comedian, he's a commentator, he's bound to flare some people up.

[booshman15]

well that's your opinion, an your entitled to it... i love all his stuff aswell and still believe that he is simply playing on the stereotype, as all comedians do, of builders/plumbers etc are always late etc. I don't believe it is a point to agree or disagree with as he isn't trying to illicit a repsonse. It is something to find funny or not as he is only doing it to make people laugh. My dad's a builder, i know many tradesman and i understand your POV, i just don't agree :D.

[queenastilon]

I'll bet it still hurt, gullivera... that girl was being rude! (offers hugs)

If you listen to what small scale employers really say, they are currently choosing Polish workers over others because "...they work harder, turn up on time, don't call in sick so much..." That's racism, of course, but at different stages of history immigrants from different countries (far enough back: regions of the same country migrating to towns) are viewed in more or less favourable ways... always have been.

[gullivera]

Indeed, I don't think anyone can dispute that they work impressively hard (The company I was laid off from had a Hungarian labourer we nicknamed "The Terminator" for his work ethic, again cool because he pays taxes, rents a flat all above board instead of sending all his money home), and I have worked with Eastern European tradesmen (Plumbers) myself and always got on with them (although, the amount of shoddy work I've had to point out or put right is another matter).

[gullivera]

That's not to say they all do shoddy work of course.

[queenastilon]

Of course they don't all do shoddy work, but there is a difference in technology/ materials.

One Romanian friend wanted to help rebuild a broken bit of wall. He insisted on mixing the cement in a bucket instead of on the flat surface we provided, and of course it all fell down in a week. This is a well educated, experienced man. Most are not at all like the images we see on telly of peasants in rural areas. But an architect friend of mine from there told me that their cement is just different.

[wratched]

The last time I had builders in, they used one of my soup bowls to catch the drips from the boiler pipes. And they left a bit of pipe going nowhere in my kitchen. A subsequent builder looked at what they had done with the kind of expression Gordon Ramsay gets when someone serves him a Dairylea luncher.

[queenastilon]

LOL, great Ramsay image!

But is using a soup bowl so terrible? Can easily be thoroughly cleaned, unless it was their permanent solution to a problem.

My mum bought a house with a "garden room" extension, downsizing & didn't need a mortgage. When I had to sell it for her, buyers got a surveyor who found: the extension was permitted only as garden storage! No wonder it flooded so often and was full of woodlice and damp. We narrowly avoided being forced by the planning office to demolish it!

[calumsensible]

you sir, are genius.

are you Marcus Brigstocke's evil twin brother Blake?

[calumsensible]

that was supposed to be a reply to queenastilon.

[gullivera]

There does seem to be a certain amount of snobbery among the liberal elite (And, just so you know, I'[m fairly liberal myself), when it comes to British workers, I'm a fan of Marcus, but I just can't agree with him about builders, he's using a tired and generalising stereotype for all British workers. And its partly because of cheap migrant labour honest workers are losing business.

[kizo110]

i think that that the audiance gave that routine a lot less than it deserved

[4ndr3wk]

haha there actually was a daily mail article about immigrants eating swans aswell

[GrainHairyGlasses]

see at 1 min...ish he does that sort of voice thing, he based that on al murray...... they're like best mates

[takethislife89]

i fear change

keep things the same

keep things the same

[djwedgewood]

Orange faced, self-agrandising, cock-sucking, racist, pansy- pad (?) Motherfucker!

Kilroy is a cunt

[KeroSannin]

his "polish" akcent sounded more like german xD

[WelshViking666]

lmao no it doesnt. my brother's german and he does not sound like that lmao

[iamjurell]

if he's german, why aren't you?

[predator535]

prick caned portsmouth. lol guys a great comedian

[AutumnGelertToboe]

healf and safety boi!

well the thing that frightens me

his names david and he's a prick!

He blocked my extension

What is he a fucking plant!?

till one of them rapes your wife!

LOL

LOL

[sebastian1597]

every time an asylum seeker turns up at dover, we send a daily mail reader to a farm in zimbabwe . . . well done.

[Cowinspace]

...........and he blocked my extension!!!

 :)

[bubble992]

'the thing that frightens me...' LOL! i've heard that from daily mail readers soooo many times!!

[BaBtrooper]

this guys a G

10/10

[WelshViking666]

less things pmsl

[themightysian]

"Yeah..Yeah.. Till one of them rapes your wife!"

[nettysgirl00]

"you may laugh marcus but they eat swans" HAHAHA brilliant.

thanks for the upload, <3 the brigstocke

[triskaidekaphobe13]

"coming over here, taking our jobs."

"DOING our jobs, on time, for the price they quoted with a smile on their face, without needing eight gallons of tea every three minutes, and leaving a turd in your bog so big the only way you can flush it is to break it up with a stick." genius.

[HEXMETAL]

Moo.

[no10cjg]

"my next door neighbour reads the daily mail his names david and hes a prick"

love it

[NexusDarkworld338]

funny lol, its been a long time since I've watched good british comedy standup

[19911995]

People gettin on da tube wiv javelins n shit!

fantastic!! 5/5

[egdapo]

he does incredible accent immitations haha

[robdaman18]

yea, i love his ghetto voice! "healf n safety boi!!!!!" ROFL

[xSweetAboutMex]

haha fucking hell he's hilarious.

love it (Y)

[indagun]

"his name is david and he's a prick"

Brilliant

[telfordtimelord]

"yeah yeah, until one of them rapes your wife"

HAHAHAHA XDXDXDXDXDXD

so funny

[VooDooMadMan]

Hahaha... love this guy. An Polish version of song is pretty polish! :D

[Everything234]

did the courdoroy wall behind him look like it was moving?

[asulei]

just coz of the patterning i think, optical illusions and all that jazz

[Mysterioux]

HAHA, just brilliant!

Both my parents are self-confessed BNP voters and Daily Mail readers, and I have a friend who reads it and really does start sentences with "well, what frightens me...".

Funny because it's true, whatwhat.

[Oli3TB76]

'i read about it in the daily mail' LOL

[cody6202000]

"...because he's a prick"...Priceless!!! =]

[gullivera]

Its a shame he feels that way about British builders/tradesmen, I'm a plumber myself, and I try my best, but there are a lot of people out there who give us a bad name.

[angrymutha]

that sucks, but you know if your doin a gd job then nobdy can sully your name=)