Online Dating Blow Off - Why Doesn't He Respond?

[TheFarriza]

me im looking for my right guy for now



[mba2ceo]

She was ugly !!!

[HigHBulleT666]

....

[groovysherrie65]

I tend to agree with Rushhound...men aren't to busy for someone that they are attracted to. Sad, but true. :(

[cyberdating]

Who cares if it's a brushoff or not. It was meant to be, he'll get less busy some time and he'll look you up. In the mean time go on with your singles search elsewhere.

[88Cortex]

And the man takes a deep breath; he knows why ;))

[vertstylus]

I disagree with contacting 10-20-30 people...it's best to do a strongly focused search by going through the profiles...pick around 20 then look at the 20 even closer, then choose only five from that. Write each of those five a customized personal response. The numbers game invites laziness and sloppiness (the temptation to make a form letter to send everyone.).

[tharanginishadi]

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[pkpadmakumari735]

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[SmirkingValet]

Helpful stuff! Thanks!

[minoliist]

Path to success with naughty women mworld5.info

[BigAndTall666]

He gave her the finger, EASY!

[MrCryptica82]

Do any of YOU PEOPLE realize how corny you all sound, seriously, y'all are just amazing. Here's a thought, try turning the damn computer off once in a while and actually going out into the real world and getting some sunlight on ya. Then, once you have emerged from your little batcaves and seen/felt the sun again in your lives, try actually getting to know other people around you, scary concept for alot of you yo-yo's I am sure but you'd be surprised at what you find if ya just try it peace out.

[hisham175]

@MrCryptica82 probably nothing, and will end up back to square one again.

[gurlfromcali2007]

good advice. but what if someone had a picture of only their body without a face

[mercyhurstchic]

I don't do online dating. I would never do it! I hear too many bad stories. I am not that desperate to find a man.

[KatieHunter723]

Good points here. Attraction is a tricky thing and as mentioned its always better to use a photo in your profile than to send it later. If someone responds to you, you know that you may be their "type" up front.

[IRONMAIDENFAN2006]

it should be how come she dosent respond

[IRONMAIDENFAN2006]

it should be how come she dosent respond the bitch

[wadehjb]

A lot of people won't want to hear this, but good looks are important to a lot of people and we can't choose to be attracted to someone just cos they're nice people. Attractive people do better in dating and life in general. It's not fair, but that's life.

But what's stopping you from making the most of yourself? If you're overweight, diet and exercise. If you're dowdy, get some new clothes, use a tanning bed and improve your image. If you're a skinny guy, look into weight training.

[kbs1664]

I find when you get to know someone and you admire them for who they are, regardless if they're ugly or not you will find them attractive. The majority of people out there don't have this mindset or want to give it a chance. Such a shame...a lot of missed opportunities

[zewarlock]

@kbs1664 Sorry bro but if you did that with online dating you'd have to date more than 100 ppl every week. You're system to trim down the amount is by looks you know how u look n u know the range u want to get. if your a 8/1- ull want from 6-8.5

[hisham175]

@kbs1664 i agree with you to many quick to judge a little photo and come to a conclusion.

[kbs1664]

haha...I actually tried this to see what happened. I sent pictures the first time of myself, I'm just an average looking guy. A few girls actually wanted to be friends. A ton blew me off though. I sent pics of what would be a dream guy to most girls and all of them wanted to meet up in less than a week...but I didn't change my personality. In fact I think I just copied and pasted most of my emails!

[Grapes428]

I agree with hisham. People are based on looks. That's what online dating is, screening potential bfs/gfs or husbands/wives. Women want the pics to go with what they are hearing from you. They obviously paid to do online dating for a reason. People want options, they still would like to talk to someone on the side even if life isn't going well at that time. I'm tired of women expecting the perfect looking guy. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

[hisham175]

Of course its a blow off. Unfortunately ppl these days are looking for good looking (Hot) ppl and even if their personality sucks they will put up with it because the other person looks hot they don't want to be alone period. Unless you are seriously into personality this is the truth for both men and women these days, its a crewel world we are in!!!!!!!!

[punkofmudd]

as a girl myself even I just search profiles with pictures. if they aren't hideous and match my criteria i'll def. send them an email. they're right not to put all ur egss in one basket

[VictusDwayne]

Dan & Jenn, i couldn't agree more, thank you for posting this video!

[secretsocietywinks]

I'm on okcupid and you're forever seeing journal and forum threads about this issue! You get sick of saying the same thing over and over:

Okcupid users have lives that have nothing to do with being an online entity, ergo, they aren't going to be there all the time ready to feed someones insecurities. some seem to forget that they're not just some e-entities waiting for you to contact them. Be patient or get over it and move on is what I say!

[lisasummings]

How I met my hawt g/f on KissKnot d0t c0m

[Infineon77]

is the letter wirting woman that stoopid....of course that's a grade A blow off......in fact I"ve used that one myself

[hisham175]

plenty of fish also sucks!

[TashaFaun]

I love how people expect you to be psychic, not just relationship experts! Will I win the lottery guys???? LOL

[moorigs]

It was definately a blow off

[amnesiacsmuzak]

yeah, he's totally blowing her off...i give the benefit of the doubt far more than i should, but the main reason for that kind of response from a guy, means he's not interested (for some reason or another)

[Susan2daye]

Brushing you off. I vote ...yes.

[rushhound]

Let me answer "her" question in a direct manner instead of sugar coating it for 3 minutes. Of course he isn't interested. Men are never too busy for someone they are attracted to. He thought she was a troll. End of discussion case closed.

[mrstrings2006]

Agreed. If it was the girl at 1:00, he would respond!

[dudette201]

Thats basically what she asked for. A straight answer. I'm a fan of Dan and Jen. But my god.. it really was clear that you were softening the blow.

[pinkamos]

lol what a shame

[mralantoaca]

great advice here guys, keep up the excellent work dan & jen!

[herewatchingutube]

I do think that he is blowing her off very much so. He said hes taking a break...what he means to say is "I am trying to gently let you know that I didnt find your photo appealing and therefore I will be spending my break with another person." Also she might have really liked his personality and everything and she was kind of "stung" when he told her that.

[4167282353]

do you consider me eye candy? im tasty :)

[ddj8]

Here's a pretty good one: CupidsDatingNetwork

[SkinnyGirl125]

MY QUESTION FOR YOU GUYS!

What do you do if the only type of men that seem to e-mail you online are not your type?

I have listed in my profile but it doesn't seem to stop them from e-mailing me.

[SkinnyGirl125]

GREAT ADVICE!!!

I have had that happen to me from time to time and couldn't just figure it out but you guys are right, it is a numbers game and there is no telling how many girls they are talking to as well. THANKS FOR THE ADVICE!

[tigernov6]

hmmm

[theshanus]

dont think its definitely that he didnt like how you look, he did say he was going to be very busy before even seeing your photo i thought, maybe he genuinely is just very busy, believe it or not some guys are actually more bothered about you just generally being a decent person, down to earth and not self obsessed. Not trying to say you are or arent those things dont know you from Adam. If he is that shallow anyway to stop talking to you cos of how you look i dont think you lose out really.

[ORCA4312]

They make a good point about people having other issues that can come up and keep them from responding. In the case mentioned, though, I'd definitely say the guy was turned off by her pic.

Definitely have a clear photo of yourself in your profile. It's better to have people rejecting your appearance BEFORE you become emotionally connected through chat or emails. This is most true for women, as we guys are very concerned with looks (sorry, but it's true).

[delyshBB]

First of all, yes, she blew you off. I never had this happen to me. I have a friend from Pennsylvania and I'm from Europe due to this and we talked for like 2 years now and he's really cool. Talking about women not replying, I reply only to what's worth replying and most men on these dating sites are sore losers who can't get any, so why would I reply to them?

[hisham175]

@delyshBB generalising about men on dating sites being sore losers? Then what are you doing on their? That makes you a sore loser aswell. women like you are two faced aswell as men

[Belief321]

Dans accent really stands out on this one

mean that in a nice way btw :)

these videos are underrated, damn good idle 3am watching

5 stars

[datsoqwerty]

HAHAH. I can put an ad in lots of dating sites for free because it always is for the woman and the next day Ican get 100 men messages. The men always respond over and over desperation for answer and a woman because there are 100 times more men on the date sites. women dont need to use them and if they did it is so easy for them to have all the choice.

[Bobzeaux]

Then why are they even on the sites in the first place? Nobody likes a cock-tease.

[datsoqwerty]

Most women go on them just to see how many man will contacting them. I dont make the rule I only report the realist situation.

[Bobzeaux]

Alright, so they now know how many men out there find them interesting. Why don't they DO anything about it?

[datsoqwerty]

It is only a game for women that is what they do. Its is also free for most dating sites for the woman. this makes it easy for the women to be flimsy about the situation. The truth is I dont play that game I think it is very unfair to me.

[honestygetsthegirl]

This is a common view that guys have on dating sites, and I don't blame you for having that view. Women have more choice, which means as men, we have to stand out more. The majority of emails women get say the same thing 'hi how are you' or 'hi wanna chat' or 'hi got cam'. Boring! You've got to stand out from the crowd if you want to get noticed.

[tailgunner2]

I know your replay is a month old, but please bear with me. Just how the heck are we suppose to do that? When the most of us are, for the most part, doing the same thing, like working...alot.

[hisham175]

@honestygetsthegirl Im really sorry but i find your comments very arrogant but at the same time not supprising to me either. Just because a man sends an email saying "how are you" or a compliment without being perverted and acting genuine ends up being blocked for no reason what so ever? Simple no thanks is no harm btw and wouldnt offend me either. When a woman sends me a "how are you" or sends me a compliment i dont have a diva complex about it and act like im the best thing on earth.

[Bobzeaux]

"Why doesn't HE respond?"??? News flash for you; it's the WOMEN who don't reply to their emails. >:(

As for you, Miss Questioner, I'm sorry, but the guy you were talking to simply didn't find you attractive.

[gossamerwindweb]

Photos and complete honesty online are the only way to go, IMO

[DanAndJenn]

Absolutely! Don't lead someone on because you don't want to hurt their feelings, it doesn't end well usually.

Our imagination tends to fill in what we don't know, so you're so much better off playing it straight and up front in just about every situation.

-- Dan

[Bobzeaux]

And what if you have photos (and you're a pretty good-looking guy ;)) and you too believe in honesty, but get nothing (or you get a very little something which turns into nothing anyway)?

[gossamerwindweb]

Wish I knew what to tell you. It seems to me like guys have a much harder time finding people than women. And that is just an unfortunate fact. Just keep being honest. That is MY advice. Of course, I am not Dan and Jennifer. LOL

[datsoqwerty]

they do have MUCH harder times to find a women if you live in an area with not so much womens it can be very hard for the men to find girl. I know some who have had four men at the same time. some women can be greedy for games and things. When I lived in a city in the UK in Scotland in the north I could go out and be chatted on by anything like 20 or more men. It was very easy for women in such a place. I felt sad for the men because the women just want the games and they had so many choice.

[aaronmp2003]

Great advice about not putting all of your eggs in one basket, and also about putting up a picture. When I was looking online, I had tons of pictures of myself up there. It's only fair to both parties, and it saves time and heartache for both of you in the long run.

[maxbrie3]

Let's face it, she's ugly.

[hughmanwho]

Or at least ugly in this guys opinion. Could be that he dislikes people with black hair and she has black hair or something. Perhaps he doesn't like which race she is. Maybe he just built her up too much and no one except a supermodel would compare to what this guy started excepting. There are many possible reasons. It definitely could be something like she's overweight and therefore very very few guys would be attracted(there are some).

[DanAndJenn]

You're so right. We often forget that 'pretty' or 'ugly' is purely a matter of perspective. We try very hard to never judge a person entirely be a picture because you're not able to read their energy and their personality.

Having said that... We all tend to like and are attracted to certain types of people - height, weight, hair color, hobbies, career, intelligence, etc. all play a factor.

With online dating - we also tend to fill in the unknowns with our 'perfect' image of the other person.