Nothing against arrange marriage but parents thinks they know best, they don't even know if their son is some pervert who been sleeping around with any and every girl without protection before marriage and then they set up their son and a girl and the guy transmit herpes and some other std's to the girl, maybe he might be some pervert who wants to spend whole day on pc viewing porn. The parents don't know their children sexual life.
@verrrr1 so you are saying that when you enter a romantic relationship with a person you by some magical way know that your partner is not a pervert or doesn't go around sleeping with other people? the more a person(man/woman) has experience with the opposite sex the more easily he/she will be able to seduce you.and when you are in love you stop thinking rationally so you don't see the faults of the other person which is the entire point of asking for the parents opinion.
@priyochatterjee1 Well FOR ONE i never said that you will magically know whether they are some pervert who slept around or has std if you pick on your own. But my whole point is that if your pick on your own, you can better check out the person's sexual background, for example by asking to go and get a std hiv test together. And when you take time to know the person you'll get a good idea of how the person is like, whether they are a pervert or not and whether you still wanna marry them.
@priyochatterjee1 parents do not know whether their son use to fuck prostitutes without protection. They know only what they see upfront in their face. Parents don't know whether their son has an std or hiv which will perhaps infect the bride, or they don't know if their daughter slept around and have herpes and infect her new husband. Parents can't see the faults of someone just by knowing their family status or seeing that girl or guy who will potientally become apart of their family
@priyochatterjee1 I'd not want to marry someone whom i don't have any idea about their sexual history, then on our first wedding night i have sex with them and find that i catch genital warts week later. Parents does not know how a person is just by their family background, infact most parents don't even know the truth about their own kids. Now i'm not saying arrange marrage is bad, it has good side for example if you can't find someone you can trust that your parents will find someone for you
@priyochatterjee1 I'd not want to marry someone whom i don't have any idea about their sexual history, then on our first wedding night i have sex with them and find that i catch genital warts. Parents can't know a person just judging their family status. Infact parents don't even know the truth about their own kids, they just get them married off. Now arrnage marriage is not bad it has it's good side, for example if you can't find someone you parents will find someone for you.
@verrrr1 well the tests you are asking for can be done in a formal setting as well cant they?... the entire point of arranged marriage is to objectively evaluate the person for compatibility and then enter a permanent relationship with them before any feelings start to develop .today most romantic relationships are based solely on the feeling of love and not much on practical considerations.you may know and love your partner for a long time but he may still turn out to be disloyal... cont..
@priyochatterjee1 ok i agree but i was not saying arrange marriage is wrong, i'm strictly talking about it on a sexual manner. I am talking about people contradicting std's from someone they don't even know their sexual past. And who told you that love marriages are not on practical consideration. it's not fair for you to assume that because arrange marriage is part of your culture that makes it superior to love marriages. Arrange marriages last longer because of cultural pressure
@priyochatterjee1 ok i agree but i was not saying arrange marriage is wrong, i'm strictly talking about it on a sexual manner. I am talking about people contracting std's from someone they don't even know their sexual past. And who told you that love marriages are not on practical consideration. it's not fair for you to assume that because arrange marriage is part of your culture that makes it superior to love marriages. Arrange marriages last longer because of cultural pressure
@verrrr1 i agree that the system of arranged marriage in India isn't perfect but neither is the system of love marriages in the us otherwise there wouldn't be such a high divorce rate. at least the system of arranged marriage recognizes that the feeling of love can not be the sole criteria for selecting a partner, compatibility is more important.and since both men and women are prone to making bad judgements under the influence of strong emotions like attraction why not let a third party ..cont.
@verrrr1 i agree that the system of arranged marriage in India isn't perfect but neither is the system of love marriages in the us otherwise there wouldn't be such a high divorce rate. at least the system of arranged marriage recognizes that the feeling of love can not be the sole criteria for selecting a partner, compatibility is more important.and since both men and women are prone to making bad judgements under the influence of strong emotions like attraction why not let a third party ..cont.
Arrange marriages last longer for many reasons, such as it's harder for a woman in india to get a divorce, it's harder for her to remarry, She will face stigma. Not always the case but she might not have the fianancial means to support herself so she has to stay in the marriage anyway. Also the guy might be unhappy in the marriage but stay because of the kids and his parents etc.
@verrrr1 how do you define happiness? i find it horrible to think that my partner can just walk away after 3 or 4 years because she may not like my snoring or she likes some other guy. if you can just get up and leave when ever you want why go through marriage? why not just be in an open relationship.just like when we enter into an agreement with a person we sigh a formal contract similarly marriage should also be like a contract between 2 people with penalties for its violation...cont...
@verrrr1 as for the society part you must remember that the concept of marriage started in times when the concept of government did not exist. agreements between people would be recognized and enforced by members of society themselves and since India is still a very traditional country these ideas are still enforced by society. i agree that women are unfairly dis empowered in many rural parts of India which needs to change.but i see no problem in agreeing to certain preconditions before .. cont.
@verrrr1 marrying someone.i think we are debating two issues here do you evaluate your partner(with the help of third parties).. marry them.. and fall in love or do you fall in love.. evaluate your partner(which becomes difficult because of the emotions involved).. and then marry. the second issue is should marriage be viewed as a contract whose violation can have penalties(social/legal) or should it be treated informally with no consequences if one decides to pull out for some silly reason.
@priyochatterjee1 And i find it hard to believe that i have to be in an unhappy marriage just because i care too much what society thinks. I'm not going to continue this with you because it's ridiculous, i was not speaking about happiness or whether i think love marriage is better vs arrange marriage. i was simply talking people carrying STD's into a new arrange marriage because the parents don't know about ur sex life. So this whole conversation about arrange marriage vs love marriage is over.
it has been statistically proven that indian men have the smallest penises in the world. this is why they need arranged marriages otherwise the women will just run as soon as they see the guys dick the first time.
also for that reason I appreciate this girl for being honest.
the main reason why arranged marriages works in India bcoz of poverty reason, I know many families who lived their life in mumbai, in just one room with father, mother, wife and children, but things have changed, present generation is not as adaptable as their parents were, because for the simple fact, they have more money now, so I mean if all Indians gets as much money as american then you will see the increase in divorce percentage
@junaidcg man, 50% of your population is still poor, so barel anything has changed, it si just for american money, that is why it is happening less, so they can get US money.
I born in India in pretty cultural muslim family but later I moved to UK for higher education and been here since I got a job in following area I was interested in, I did date few girls here since, both Indian, brit-Indian and non Indian but honestly I feel brit-indians are big time confused, and I found that I can only feel loved and think of settling down with either Indian or a non Indian, because I don't think best from both world works at all.
भई लड़की वालो ने लड़के वालो की बहुत इज्ज़त की रिश्ता पका हुआ, धूम धाम से शादी हुयी शादी की रात को लड़के को पता चला की लड़की है
दुल्के को पता चल गया की उसका चूतिया कट गया है लड़की के माँ बाप को कहा तो वो बोले भई अब तो शादी हो गयी यह तो मिया बीवी का मामला है बस और उसने अपने आप को सड़क में घोड़े पर बैठा हुआ चूतिया दिखा पाया ......i love how some indian families con others in arrange marriage in the name of culture ....ha ha ha ha really funny
Check out this site we just started. We are trying to create a platform where singles can meet without having to worry about things like caste, religion, economic status and so on.
India's divorce rate would be much higher if unhappy men and women had the option of divorcing like they do in the USA. In India if you are divorced you carry a negative stigma and may even face backlash from family. In the USA if your unhappy you can get divorced and life goes on. This is why the divorce rate in the USA is 50%. Don't get me wrong, many arranged marriages do work out fine. But many don't, and in most cases they have no choice but to stay together
@eldiezmaradona show me a link which shows how many arranged married couples are unhappy,your just making a generalized statement with zero proof.
They work around their problems and solve them,divorce is the absolute last resort,there are a lot of love marriages in India as well,people DO divorce,but they are less likely to do so for the sake of the kids(if they have any)
In every 1 hr &45min a girl is murdered or abused or commits suicide in India for dowry. Ramneek's scenario over here is 1 in a million in India because ramneek is a lucky guy to be born to a wealthy family who enjoys showing their superior social status whereas 80% of india's population are not. he is educated, got money and wants his marriage to be a business deal... so be it. and i still don't understand how you can say a marriage is successful if the couple doesn't get divorced.
@SonofSivadas is it the rest 20% fault that the 80% people believe in the dowry system and have 10 kids per family and kill the female babies?
There are so many Indian NGO's trying to educate these stupid fucks,however the poor people are happy in their stupid little village eating gutka and drinking cheap alcohol.
@mpingola the majority speaks louder... even if dowry and abortion of a fetus after 12 weeks (after 12 weeks the baby's sex is determined) is illegal; it is practiced rampantly in India. Didn't you read yesterday's bbc report?? i was shocked to read it.
@mpingola Your comment just showed your ignorance and hatred towards lower class people.
let me guess you didn't read the article or my comment, i said that dowry is illegal.
Quote:"even if dowry and abortion of a fetus after 12 weeks (after 12 weeks the baby's sex is determined) is illegal; it is practiced rampantly in India."
most offenders are members of the growing middle-class and affluent Indians, this is the truth, no matter how much you want to live in your fantasy land.
Well the idea of Arranged Marriages dates back even before Christ. And is practiced even in Japan. So yeah... I think neither side should trample on each other's heritage and customs.
@hosweetim89 Bollocks! It's a stupid and backward tradition. Trying to justify this farse of a tradition by saying is ancient is implying other old repressive traditions are ok such as slavery and colonialism.
@bittercottoncandy Alot of things are ancient if you think about it. Like dictatorship. No one can dictate other peoples lives, but things adapt and change over time. If arranged marriages work then there's no need to fix it. Ultimately things should come down to the individual's consent.
I don't think one can normatively say that arranged marriage is better than "love" marriage or vice versa. The cultures that they have developed in were conducive to love/arranged marriage respectively and imposing love marriage in a country like india or arranged marriage in a country like america wouldn't work.
I'm against marriage in the west because love is fickle and seems more about possession than anything else. As a black man though this would be perfect for rebuilding the black family structure.
Ok IF you only look at this from the good point of view, then yah arranged marriages seems a lot better and easier than dating. But NOT everyone gets lucky....personally I think that it would be wonderful if my parents showed me to different people and planned all things elaborate parties....but whatever floats your boat
lol I'm 19 and my 26 year old house mate was telling me how his parents have shown girls to him and stuff. It seems cool, I cant wait till I get older and my parents do the same :D ........ I understand that not everybody looks hot and hip to go clubbing and meet chicks. Plus the 'village' chicks are way better than cosmopolitan mod-chicks ! ya'll knw wat i'm on about !
@hardfelony yes, but remember, indian village chicks aren't the same as European village chicks, they are more malnourished and misused than in the west as their family has no money....
Part 1 I think this is a very old and wise tradition. It is however very hard to understand. But is it that hard?? A family looks to another family Mother and father seek out a mother and father, they meet they talk they see if that first connection is going to work between families. This is by far a better way to secure a strong family unit. If Mom and Dad dont like Mom and Dad then they pass and find another, its a good way to keep the "mother in law" problem in check for sure!
True they have a low divorce rate.....They R like brother and sister, no man & women love relations. They do't divorce because there is no reason they R single...... Live their whole life not ever filling true love. In most cases the women are just domestic slaves to her new family. What happens if the man has a 1 inch dick R the woman really likes other women. I don't understand how does India have a pop. of 1.25 billion people.
@rick5690 Pt:3 Again at the same time, I hope that all people realize that a happy marriage takes more then love. Just because the love isn't as fresh or as exciting as it was at first, it doesn't mean that you should get divorced. You should think about each other, your children and family and sort of differences to lead a life of content.
Funny how Americas has The world Largest divorse Rate In the World? In America Men marry The Hottest Girl, And Women Marry the Richest Coolest Guy, And The 6 Years Later They Divorse With, 3 Kids Having Emotional Scars For The rest of Their Lifes?....Not Only That But In america, People get Married as Much As 4 Times In Their Lifes!!
Does america Really Have the right to Judge? Where Moms Live From welfare Checks And Dads Abandon their Kids??
@Sonicku Pt 1: I am not opposed to arranged marriages. But you speak of American culture in such a condescending way and wrongly so. The other thing is divorce is viewed as being 'immoral'? A lot of times, husband and wife can't live a compatible life in a lot many ways. But yet they have to carry on as husband and wife in Indian culture.
@Sonicku Pt: 2 Marriage isn't any show put up by a couple for society to judge. I do agree that divorce brings in complications. But if the couple genuinely think their lives and their children's lives would benefit from a divorce, then why not. What do you know of the 1000's of cases of matrimonial abuse which occurs in India, yet divorce is never seen as an option. Arranged marriages may work out often, but don't speak of it as a gold standard for a happy married life.
@Sonicku Clearly u don't see the two side of the picture. Do u honestly think if the parents are unhappy the kids will be? I would rather see my parents be happy than seeing them screaming at each other everyday at dinner and then slamming the doors behind them after they leave the table.What they didn't see is me secretly crying. Those are what i call emotional scars. MoNkEyCaKeS85 is correct, your called moral value is superficial. It's simply pride in disguise.
p.s. india people are willing to live the rest of there lives unhappy to stay married and also all the things you said also happens in india but not at the same rate as the usa
@Sonicku Yes, America and I will judge you, conservative people, based on Western Morals which are based solely on sober debate, rational discussion and objectivism. Don't think I don't judge all the people who needlessly divorce.
You are merely throwing an emotional argument at the civilized world, because you cannot stand criticism. Like no Indian ever could.
@Sonicku I think its worth considering that family/societal pressures that are pervasive in Indian culture discourage women or men in arranged marriages from seeking a divorce when they find themselves in the position that they are unhappy. Low divorce rate don't necessarily reflect successful marriages.
@Sonicku i mean people you have to Really, REALLY imaging yourself in this position.. how would u feel having your parents divorce? bein "shared" by mom and dad? your mom bein married multiple time and your dad having a different woman in his house every Saturday?... and also imaging yourself as a parent "IS YOUR ROMANTIC HAPPINESS REALLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR KIDS?"
@Sonicku they are not judging. It is just discussion. Anyway all or world expect china, everyone arrange their kids follow a religion. evan anthist arrage their kids to broght up in to certain religion. I personly think religion should not be arranged. what religion give confussion, but arrange marriage still marriage and we got same deal sexaully.
Sex is issue when it come to marriage. Marriage/sex produce a child a life. arrange religion and arrange marriage which one best? which is worst?
Arranged marriage is one of the best things in the Indian culture. i have seen lots of marriages that crossed 25 year mark; seeing the ups an down of life and still deeply in love with each other. As a matter of fact my grand dad and grand ma will celebrate there 50th anniversary next year and the love and understanding they have is amazing.
As far as Finding true love is concerned You can never be sure.
Indian culture regarding marriage sucks. There are good people but many are crazy. They are more worried about other people and culture when it comes to marriage. Its more to do with the status than the couple in marriage. Hence divorce is also guided by the same rule. No one will dare to divorce because the status in society will be lost. Its nothing to do with Love.
arranged marriages are generally a good idea however alot depends on the families involved. usually everything about a woman is heavily scrutinised by the guy`s family...they can ask some really pathetic questions on things like...weight, skin colour, cooking abilities lol.
why would anybody ever allowed for somebody else to arrange their marrige? That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard. IT'S YOUR LIFE SO YOU MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS.......Religion, culture and dumb ass parents can all wait. YOU must be happy not everybody else.
@Redcaster916 Not everyone wants to please themselves. The reason for arranged marriages is because these people mainly want to please and bring honor to their parents. The love of family is more important than self pleasure.
@xiyui I don't understand how I'm being contradictory. How is an arranged marriage bringing suffering to another family member?
I'm assuming you are thinking that the woman would be unhappy with her husband and marrying him only because that's what her parents want? If that's the case, then you are mistaken. Happiness for them is marrying the man of their family's choice and bringing them honor.
@metropolis3043 fortunately i understand just as there are arranged marriages that work there are those that don’t. Those who are happy were able balance out the happiness between the marriage and their family and not because “Not everyone wants to please themselves” or “The love of family is more important than self pleasure.” Do you honestly think that a woman would be happy if her marriage was miserable? Of course you do because to you “Happiness for them is marrying the man of their
@xiyui family's choice and bringing them honour.” Do you actually believe happiness is distributed systematically as long as women marry the man their family picked? Or worse do you actually believe it is their duty to be satisfied with the men their family chose? Stop your delusions.
PEOPLE MAKING COMMENTS LIKE PEOPLE IN ARRANGED MARRIAGE COUNTRIES CANT GET OUT THATS A BOLD FACE LIE....IN ANCIENT ISLAMIC COUNTRIES DIVORCE WAS HIGHER THAN IT IS TODAY AND USUALLY COULD BE INITIATED BY THE WOMAN.,.....ALSO IF A WOMAN IN A COUNTRY CANT GET OUT OF AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE SHE CANT GET OUT OF A LOVE MARRAIGE EITHER AS DIVORCE IS BAD RIGHT?
Sure the divorce rate may be low but isn't it because if you do divorce it's considered disgraceful?
It seems that no one cares if the man/woman is unhappy, oh no....as long as everyone thinks you are content and it makes your family look good and reputable then its all good. Boo to arranged marriages.
actually usually they are happy, its like when you meet someone you start liking them, and things progress well its kinda like that except u do that in the marriage, i have many people in documentaries who are happy, its like learning someone for the 1st time, so you bond together over time
@MoNkEyCaKeS85 Arranged marriages aren't necessarily or even usually forced. I think the Indian practice is where two couples bring their children together and suggest their children should marry.
@MoNkEyCaKeS85 actually studies have shown that couples that got married by means of arranged marrage are on average happier about their relationship with their spouse than couples that got married by means of the romantic tradition.
I think arranged marriages are just the solution for west. Children can focus on education and career, while parents look out for agood bride/groom. morever the divorce rate of less then 2% means it is successeful. From religious point of view one does not need to have pre-martial sex of sleeping with several poeple and land up in a marriage which has 50% divorce rate.
@msiddiqui135 do you know why the divorce rate is low in arranged marriages thats because if you divorce the person you have been arranged to it brings a bad reputation to your family as an indian male i am against arranged marriages becuase not everything in an arranged marriage is fun and luck my parents are still together only because of their children or they would have been divorced back when i was just 2 years old
Of course they had little problems accepting her white fiance there children would have a lighter skin complexion than her and probably all the other family members. In Indian culture the lighter you are the better and the more attractive you are perceived ( much like in America ) So of course they would be all for their daughter marring a white guy with little to no reservations but let an Indian girl try that with a Black man or a half black man that sure as hell wouldn't have flown . LMAO
@BiracialGirl1977 It has nothing to do with looks and skin color or the guy being white or black. We're watching the same video right? She did say her parents had a problem with her marrying out of her race, but at the end of the day she'll do what she wants to do & the parents have to accept it sooner or later & in her case it was sooner so she is lucky.
@Ocean3589 umm no her parents accepted it immediately when she said she was going to marry this white dude 7:17. It was her cousins who said she will get divorced just because her fiance was white 8:06.
This news guy is so rude in his ignorance. Treat the chick your interviewing like a normal person no some alien from a differant planet. Shes an american born and raised here.
@shaqdaddy11 YES UR SO SMART BUT IS LOVE MARRIAGE NOT A CULTURE OF THE USA AND MOST WESTERN COUNTRIES STOP TALKING OUT UR ASS. THATS CULTURE TOO.....AND THIS VIDEO CLIP IS PROMOTING THAT, JUST ASS HER COUSINS WERE PROMOTING THIER CULTURE. IM NOT INDIAN AND IM GOING TO HAVE A LOVE MARRIAGE BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN IM STUPID AND IGNORANT LIKE U TO MAKE SUCH DUMB COMMENTS.
@shaqdaddy11 no it isnt fool but the person u choose to live ur life with in terms of marriage is..,....if u choose arrange marriage and grow to love them and u meet a restaurant and then fall in love and get married is it not all still love.......in both situations have there not been fallouts........my point is ur in no place to pull down anothers way of doing things,,,,,so the only moron is u an ignorant foolish one at that.
"In India, marriage is thought to be for life,[3] and the divorce rate is extremely low due to societal and family pressures on the consequences of a separation."
also, how can she be westernized if she's been born there? I mean she's from the US, Indian heritage, but she isn't westernized, she IS western!!
very interesting...I can see the situation in a cultural way and the westernize way, but I think arrange marriage is more of a culture shock to some people and everyone should just respect people's tradition and stop with all the negative criticisms (^.^)
I don't understand why so many people are against arranged marriages. It's just a cultural thing. You can't expect things to be the same everywhere.
I'm an Indian-American raised in the U.S., and I don't plan on having an arranged marriage, but I know many Indians my age who do, and I honestly don't see any problem with it. It's not like other systems are any better.
Her parents are more cooler? Sorry to nitpick but I can't stand it when people can't use grammar properly. I'll accept "cool" as a slang because I use it all the time, most Americans do. But it would be "more cool." Sorry, that just irks me.
Pauleen has been whitewashed. Everything from her name to her choice of man. I don't care if Indian women have arranged marriages or date openly as long as their partners are Indian. And that white guy she married doesn't look handsome at all.
It's horrible that just because it's "hard" for you to have an actual date you'll turn lazy and let your parents decide.... It's horrible and sad. I would prefer to be alone for along time than let any other person decide whom I should share my pillow with.
It was the Arab Muslims, who first brought this arranged marriage tradition to India. Now almost all Indians, especially Hindus, practice it as their own. No where in the Vedic scriptures it mentions of this Islamic type arranged marriages practiced by Hindus.
If there is please give the Verse, and Chapter number of the ancient Sanskrit literature.
@Politactic arranged marriage is not mentioned in qur'an as well but premarital sex is forbidden in Islam, hence, arrange marriage is developed culturally in order to avoid premarital sex and promiscuity and I think Indians have same ideology about premarital sex, which may be why they adopted or have that culture
P.s In my opinion arrange marriage in not bad as long as it is not "forced arranged marriage"
media is stupid...tat girl is not indian she is American..born in America ...your culture is the society you live in not just your mom and dad...
in USA the family is failed concept....at 50 % divorce rate nothing to feel happy about... with couple not ready to adjust to each others shortcoming marrige is bound fail..arraiged or love marriage does not matter
1) Marriage is a business contract anyway. Love clouds your judgment. How many women are with complete losers because of love. At least if you have your family helping you can make a right decision. Plus look at divorce rates in the US and in India. As long as both people are willing partners more power to them.
some over-ambitious parents kill the life of their kids and they get them a contract of a wife or a Husband. And this is coming from an Indian, whose Indian girl friend , who happen to be of same community has been forced into a marriage by her parents... and I lost her .. next life may be,
desi means local person like a native as opposed to foreigner. since its indian (hindi) it would have to mean local indian person. so isn't ABCD an oxymoron? Since when is an american born person a desi?
pauleen i think u r ABCD....many ppl know which side they want to be on....no 1 is confused....i think u were confused....dats y u were not married till the age of 23 or 24....ur cousins were not confused...they knew their culture....when 1 person forgets their own culture and adops another culture...they are confused...ur skin colour is "brown"...u r desi....ur culture cant be american...i think u r confused...dats y u gave looney tunes example...
fuck u pauleen...i grew up in canada...i will marry a pakistani girl from back home...i live like a pakistani....pakistan is in my heart....i take my culture very seriously....not every1 sits in front of the TV, eats cereal and watches looney tunes....so fuck u....u white washed person....many of us sit and drink tea and eat parathay...n watch cricket
I came here when i was 5 years old too and have great respect for my Indian culture and HIndu religion...i strongly believe in arrange marriages because it worked out soo well in my family. Not a single person has gone through a divorce in my family and all are happily married. My family would never force me to marry an old ugly hag. If my time comes, they told me that I have the freedom to choose a man for marriage...I know it sure as hell will be an Indian/ hindu :-)
A lousy excuse to force wed someone young to an old fuck. When your older it's your life adults don't need nozy old tea bags to pamper someone over 20s to 30 s. Bs just go to America free country:3
The last guy I was with was to be married in an arranged marriage but wanted to have as much sex as possible first....would've been funny if it happened to anyone else lol
and in pakistan some women are murdered if they say no, was recent on news here in usa, a young paki girl was strangled by her own dad cause she refused to marry what her father chosen for her.
Thats a bit too beyond the line. I try to think that Pakistanis know the existence of Humanity. I just lost that thought. Good on you father for killing your own daughter, just because she said no for a marriage. Fucking pathetic father.
arranged marriage are so great i had a love relationship it was so sad arranged marriage is less 1%..love marriage is so sad and emotional mixed marriages are the worst.
I'm glad Pauline is happy with her choice. She wouldn't have been happy if she had an arranged marriage, chosen by her parents. And what's more, if her groom had come from India, he would not have settled or assimilated well in a Western country.
Indians are fully western since many cultures around the world have adopted many western customs and habits. With history of Indian, europeans had a major influence on India.
It all depends on the TYPE of family you have- not all are the same! A sociologist I met few yrs back said that about 23% of Indian-Americans were marrying someone outside their background.
plz don't get me wrong..I, in no way shapeorform support people who force their daughters to marry against their wishes... this is totally against Islam. M/b this is a cultural custom but it's NOT part of Islam. Im a Pakistani Canadian but dont do arranged marriages and my fam definately don't force n e 1 to marry someone we don't want 2. Islamically, if a girl doesn't want 2 marry some1, she doesn't have to. The last say is the girls say nd w/o her consent the marriage is void...not acceptable!
Indians cannot marry cousins because of gotra. Your Pakistani culture adopts the Arab system of marrying cousins to breed inbred half-genetic retards.
derpflirp
allanlovespizza 1 month ago
Is eating cereal in front of TV and watching loony tunes culture !!?
nyxophile 2 months ago
@nyxophile fortunally for them it is in wisconsin and minnesota :D
8sakuraleaf9 2 weeks ago
3:30 that is one badass little drummer
THEANnetWork 4 months ago
Nothing against arrange marriage but parents thinks they know best, they don't even know if their son is some pervert who been sleeping around with any and every girl without protection before marriage and then they set up their son and a girl and the guy transmit herpes and some other std's to the girl, maybe he might be some pervert who wants to spend whole day on pc viewing porn. The parents don't know their children sexual life.
verrrr1 4 months ago
@verrrr1 so you are saying that when you enter a romantic relationship with a person you by some magical way know that your partner is not a pervert or doesn't go around sleeping with other people? the more a person(man/woman) has experience with the opposite sex the more easily he/she will be able to seduce you.and when you are in love you stop thinking rationally so you don't see the faults of the other person which is the entire point of asking for the parents opinion.
priyochatterjee1 4 months ago
@priyochatterjee1 Well FOR ONE i never said that you will magically know whether they are some pervert who slept around or has std if you pick on your own. But my whole point is that if your pick on your own, you can better check out the person's sexual background, for example by asking to go and get a std hiv test together. And when you take time to know the person you'll get a good idea of how the person is like, whether they are a pervert or not and whether you still wanna marry them.
verrrr1 4 months ago
@priyochatterjee1 parents do not know whether their son use to fuck prostitutes without protection. They know only what they see upfront in their face. Parents don't know whether their son has an std or hiv which will perhaps infect the bride, or they don't know if their daughter slept around and have herpes and infect her new husband. Parents can't see the faults of someone just by knowing their family status or seeing that girl or guy who will potientally become apart of their family
verrrr1 4 months ago
@priyochatterjee1 I'd not want to marry someone whom i don't have any idea about their sexual history, then on our first wedding night i have sex with them and find that i catch genital warts week later. Parents does not know how a person is just by their family background, infact most parents don't even know the truth about their own kids. Now i'm not saying arrange marrage is bad, it has good side for example if you can't find someone you can trust that your parents will find someone for you
verrrr1 4 months ago
@priyochatterjee1 I'd not want to marry someone whom i don't have any idea about their sexual history, then on our first wedding night i have sex with them and find that i catch genital warts. Parents can't know a person just judging their family status. Infact parents don't even know the truth about their own kids, they just get them married off. Now arrnage marriage is not bad it has it's good side, for example if you can't find someone you parents will find someone for you.
verrrr1 4 months ago
@verrrr1 well the tests you are asking for can be done in a formal setting as well cant they?... the entire point of arranged marriage is to objectively evaluate the person for compatibility and then enter a permanent relationship with them before any feelings start to develop .today most romantic relationships are based solely on the feeling of love and not much on practical considerations.you may know and love your partner for a long time but he may still turn out to be disloyal... cont..
priyochatterjee1 4 months ago
@priyochatterjee1 ok i agree but i was not saying arrange marriage is wrong, i'm strictly talking about it on a sexual manner. I am talking about people contradicting std's from someone they don't even know their sexual past. And who told you that love marriages are not on practical consideration. it's not fair for you to assume that because arrange marriage is part of your culture that makes it superior to love marriages. Arrange marriages last longer because of cultural pressure
verrrr1 4 months ago
@priyochatterjee1 ok i agree but i was not saying arrange marriage is wrong, i'm strictly talking about it on a sexual manner. I am talking about people contracting std's from someone they don't even know their sexual past. And who told you that love marriages are not on practical consideration. it's not fair for you to assume that because arrange marriage is part of your culture that makes it superior to love marriages. Arrange marriages last longer because of cultural pressure
verrrr1 4 months ago
@verrrr1 i agree that the system of arranged marriage in India isn't perfect but neither is the system of love marriages in the us otherwise there wouldn't be such a high divorce rate. at least the system of arranged marriage recognizes that the feeling of love can not be the sole criteria for selecting a partner, compatibility is more important.and since both men and women are prone to making bad judgements under the influence of strong emotions like attraction why not let a third party ..cont.
priyochatterjee1 4 months ago
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@verrrr1 i agree that the system of arranged marriage in India isn't perfect but neither is the system of love marriages in the us otherwise there wouldn't be such a high divorce rate. at least the system of arranged marriage recognizes that the feeling of love can not be the sole criteria for selecting a partner, compatibility is more important.and since both men and women are prone to making bad judgements under the influence of strong emotions like attraction why not let a third party ..cont.
priyochatterjee1 4 months ago
@verrrr1 with no personal interest such as parents or a trusted friend or relative decide for you at the initial stages of the relationship.
priyochatterjee1 4 months ago
Comment removed
verrrr1 4 months ago
Arrange marriages last longer for many reasons, such as it's harder for a woman in india to get a divorce, it's harder for her to remarry, She will face stigma. Not always the case but she might not have the fianancial means to support herself so she has to stay in the marriage anyway. Also the guy might be unhappy in the marriage but stay because of the kids and his parents etc.
verrrr1 4 months ago
@verrrr1 how do you define happiness? i find it horrible to think that my partner can just walk away after 3 or 4 years because she may not like my snoring or she likes some other guy. if you can just get up and leave when ever you want why go through marriage? why not just be in an open relationship.just like when we enter into an agreement with a person we sigh a formal contract similarly marriage should also be like a contract between 2 people with penalties for its violation...cont...
priyochatterjee1 4 months ago
@verrrr1 as for the society part you must remember that the concept of marriage started in times when the concept of government did not exist. agreements between people would be recognized and enforced by members of society themselves and since India is still a very traditional country these ideas are still enforced by society. i agree that women are unfairly dis empowered in many rural parts of India which needs to change.but i see no problem in agreeing to certain preconditions before .. cont.
priyochatterjee1 4 months ago
@verrrr1 marrying someone.i think we are debating two issues here do you evaluate your partner(with the help of third parties).. marry them.. and fall in love or do you fall in love.. evaluate your partner(which becomes difficult because of the emotions involved).. and then marry. the second issue is should marriage be viewed as a contract whose violation can have penalties(social/legal) or should it be treated informally with no consequences if one decides to pull out for some silly reason.
priyochatterjee1 4 months ago
@priyochatterjee1 And i find it hard to believe that i have to be in an unhappy marriage just because i care too much what society thinks. I'm not going to continue this with you because it's ridiculous, i was not speaking about happiness or whether i think love marriage is better vs arrange marriage. i was simply talking people carrying STD's into a new arrange marriage because the parents don't know about ur sex life. So this whole conversation about arrange marriage vs love marriage is over.
verrrr1 4 months ago
Comment removed
priyochatterjee1 4 months ago
@kickmeout1 is not the size of the tool but how you use it :)
JDWiskeeBreil 5 months ago
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it has been statistically proven that indian men have the smallest penises in the world. this is why they need arranged marriages otherwise the women will just run as soon as they see the guys dick the first time.
kickmeout1 6 months ago
also for that reason I appreciate this girl for being honest.
the main reason why arranged marriages works in India bcoz of poverty reason, I know many families who lived their life in mumbai, in just one room with father, mother, wife and children, but things have changed, present generation is not as adaptable as their parents were, because for the simple fact, they have more money now, so I mean if all Indians gets as much money as american then you will see the increase in divorce percentage
junaidcg 7 months ago
I wonder if arranged marriages are also allowed in the United States of American, just curious?
maxtull21 5 months ago
@junaidcg man, 50% of your population is still poor, so barel anything has changed, it si just for american money, that is why it is happening less, so they can get US money.
harris3693 5 months ago
I born in India in pretty cultural muslim family but later I moved to UK for higher education and been here since I got a job in following area I was interested in, I did date few girls here since, both Indian, brit-Indian and non Indian but honestly I feel brit-indians are big time confused, and I found that I can only feel loved and think of settling down with either Indian or a non Indian, because I don't think best from both world works at all.
junaidcg 7 months ago
arranged marriages work better if it is set by smart parents and smart people.
fredfelosofar 7 months ago
9 months!!!!!! WOW great....
yathimovies 8 months ago
भई लड़की वालो ने लड़के वालो की बहुत इज्ज़त की रिश्ता पका हुआ, धूम धाम से शादी हुयी शादी की रात को लड़के को पता चला की लड़की है
दुल्के को पता चल गया की उसका चूतिया कट गया है लड़की के माँ बाप को कहा तो वो बोले भई अब तो शादी हो गयी यह तो मिया बीवी का मामला है बस और उसने अपने आप को सड़क में घोड़े पर बैठा हुआ चूतिया दिखा पाया ......i love how some indian families con others in arrange marriage in the name of culture ....ha ha ha ha really funny
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SupahCheesy 8 months ago
India's divorce rate would be much higher if unhappy men and women had the option of divorcing like they do in the USA. In India if you are divorced you carry a negative stigma and may even face backlash from family. In the USA if your unhappy you can get divorced and life goes on. This is why the divorce rate in the USA is 50%. Don't get me wrong, many arranged marriages do work out fine. But many don't, and in most cases they have no choice but to stay together
eldiezmaradona 9 months ago
@eldiezmaradona show me a link which shows how many arranged married couples are unhappy,your just making a generalized statement with zero proof.
They work around their problems and solve them,divorce is the absolute last resort,there are a lot of love marriages in India as well,people DO divorce,but they are less likely to do so for the sake of the kids(if they have any)
mpingola 8 months ago
@eldiezmaradona define happiness please
priyochatterjee1 4 months ago
In every 1 hr &45min a girl is murdered or abused or commits suicide in India for dowry. Ramneek's scenario over here is 1 in a million in India because ramneek is a lucky guy to be born to a wealthy family who enjoys showing their superior social status whereas 80% of india's population are not. he is educated, got money and wants his marriage to be a business deal... so be it. and i still don't understand how you can say a marriage is successful if the couple doesn't get divorced.
SonofSivadas 9 months ago 2
@SonofSivadas is it the rest 20% fault that the 80% people believe in the dowry system and have 10 kids per family and kill the female babies?
There are so many Indian NGO's trying to educate these stupid fucks,however the poor people are happy in their stupid little village eating gutka and drinking cheap alcohol.
mpingola 8 months ago
@mpingola the majority speaks louder... even if dowry and abortion of a fetus after 12 weeks (after 12 weeks the baby's sex is determined) is illegal; it is practiced rampantly in India. Didn't you read yesterday's bbc report?? i was shocked to read it.
bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-13264301
Most of the families are middle class.
SonofSivadas 8 months ago
@SonofSivadas Did you read the article?
India outlawed dowry in 1961.
Thats it.India doesnt support this,they even put people in jail for doing this if they are caught.
If you think you can stop it,then go do it.join an NGO and create awareness and stop it.
And they are not middle class.You are obviously not Indian,just pretending like every anti-Indian on youtube
The majority are uneducated,whatever they say is irrelevant.
mpingola 8 months ago
@mpingola Your comment just showed your ignorance and hatred towards lower class people.
let me guess you didn't read the article or my comment, i said that dowry is illegal.
Quote:"even if dowry and abortion of a fetus after 12 weeks (after 12 weeks the baby's sex is determined) is illegal; it is practiced rampantly in India."
most offenders are members of the growing middle-class and affluent Indians, this is the truth, no matter how much you want to live in your fantasy land.
SonofSivadas 8 months ago
some people actually fall in love and are happy from arranged marriages, not all of them are unhappy.
It's half and half, like the divorce rate in america
phoenixbluex 9 months ago
In my opinion arranged marriage is great if you are an individual who does not believe in love. As long as your partner is attractive, who cares.
But it is wrong when the individual is in love and in relationship with someone and without permission is forced to marry someone else.
castelinop 9 months ago
Well the idea of Arranged Marriages dates back even before Christ. And is practiced even in Japan. So yeah... I think neither side should trample on each other's heritage and customs.
hosweetim89 9 months ago
@hosweetim89 Bollocks! It's a stupid and backward tradition. Trying to justify this farse of a tradition by saying is ancient is implying other old repressive traditions are ok such as slavery and colonialism.
bittercottoncandy 9 months ago
@bittercottoncandy Alot of things are ancient if you think about it. Like dictatorship. No one can dictate other peoples lives, but things adapt and change over time. If arranged marriages work then there's no need to fix it. Ultimately things should come down to the individual's consent.
hosweetim89 9 months ago
I don't think one can normatively say that arranged marriage is better than "love" marriage or vice versa. The cultures that they have developed in were conducive to love/arranged marriage respectively and imposing love marriage in a country like india or arranged marriage in a country like america wouldn't work.
ubermensch826 11 months ago
I'm against marriage in the west because love is fickle and seems more about possession than anything else. As a black man though this would be perfect for rebuilding the black family structure.
mizong84 11 months ago
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BnhghuNbhghy 11 months ago
theres a lot of pro's and con's to arranged marriage, not just con's.
several indians actually like the safety it offers, ofc theres also a large crowd who dislike it
testwordz 1 year ago
@testwordz the only thing they like is money, because they are poor dirty hoes, hence they have like 8 daughters and literally sell them out!!!
harris3693 5 months ago
Divorce rate among Americans is through the roof.
You have a 45% of getting a divorce !
Man that's like flipping a coin - heads or tales.
orangedac 1 year ago
Ok IF you only look at this from the good point of view, then yah arranged marriages seems a lot better and easier than dating. But NOT everyone gets lucky....personally I think that it would be wonderful if my parents showed me to different people and planned all things elaborate parties....but whatever floats your boat
VMKjelly 1 year ago
lol I'm 19 and my 26 year old house mate was telling me how his parents have shown girls to him and stuff. It seems cool, I cant wait till I get older and my parents do the same :D ........ I understand that not everybody looks hot and hip to go clubbing and meet chicks. Plus the 'village' chicks are way better than cosmopolitan mod-chicks ! ya'll knw wat i'm on about !
hardfelony 1 year ago
@hardfelony yes, but remember, indian village chicks aren't the same as European village chicks, they are more malnourished and misused than in the west as their family has no money....
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annajuikjuikol 1 year ago
Part 1 I think this is a very old and wise tradition. It is however very hard to understand. But is it that hard?? A family looks to another family Mother and father seek out a mother and father, they meet they talk they see if that first connection is going to work between families. This is by far a better way to secure a strong family unit. If Mom and Dad dont like Mom and Dad then they pass and find another, its a good way to keep the "mother in law" problem in check for sure!
OneMindsEye 1 year ago
@OneMindsEye do your mother and father have to live with your husband or you?
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sindianyubd 1 year ago
divorce rate is low... but rape case murder and child marriage is high....
seksey89 1 year ago
True they have a low divorce rate.....They R like brother and sister, no man & women love relations. They do't divorce because there is no reason they R single...... Live their whole life not ever filling true love. In most cases the women are just domestic slaves to her new family. What happens if the man has a 1 inch dick R the woman really likes other women. I don't understand how does India have a pop. of 1.25 billion people.
rick5690 1 year ago 2
@rick5690 Pt:3 Again at the same time, I hope that all people realize that a happy marriage takes more then love. Just because the love isn't as fresh or as exciting as it was at first, it doesn't mean that you should get divorced. You should think about each other, your children and family and sort of differences to lead a life of content.
TejasM14 1 year ago
@rick5690 alot of poor goldigging pimps who sell their daughters for money.....
harris3693 5 months ago
Funny how Americas has The world Largest divorse Rate In the World? In America Men marry The Hottest Girl, And Women Marry the Richest Coolest Guy, And The 6 Years Later They Divorse With, 3 Kids Having Emotional Scars For The rest of Their Lifes?....Not Only That But In america, People get Married as Much As 4 Times In Their Lifes!!
Does america Really Have the right to Judge? Where Moms Live From welfare Checks And Dads Abandon their Kids??
Wow... At least India Lives With Moral Values
Sonicku 1 year ago 34
@Sonicku Do you think American man are civilised society this are cow boys.
IndiaCobra 1 year ago
@Sonicku Pt 1: I am not opposed to arranged marriages. But you speak of American culture in such a condescending way and wrongly so. The other thing is divorce is viewed as being 'immoral'? A lot of times, husband and wife can't live a compatible life in a lot many ways. But yet they have to carry on as husband and wife in Indian culture.
TejasM14 1 year ago
@Sonicku Pt: 2 Marriage isn't any show put up by a couple for society to judge. I do agree that divorce brings in complications. But if the couple genuinely think their lives and their children's lives would benefit from a divorce, then why not. What do you know of the 1000's of cases of matrimonial abuse which occurs in India, yet divorce is never seen as an option. Arranged marriages may work out often, but don't speak of it as a gold standard for a happy married life.
TejasM14 1 year ago
@Sonicku You nailed it !! well said !!
rajgreat44 10 months ago
@rajgreat44 Well said!? Hardly.
Yuri92001 10 months ago
@rajgreat44 His "good argument" stops after the first sentence.
Yuri92001 10 months ago 2
@Sonicku yeah right, the girls must give money to the husband, get a lide cow piss drinker!!!
harris3693 9 months ago
@Sonicku Clearly u don't see the two side of the picture. Do u honestly think if the parents are unhappy the kids will be? I would rather see my parents be happy than seeing them screaming at each other everyday at dinner and then slamming the doors behind them after they leave the table.What they didn't see is me secretly crying. Those are what i call emotional scars. MoNkEyCaKeS85 is correct, your called moral value is superficial. It's simply pride in disguise.
xiyui 9 months ago
@Sonicku just ha ha your just.........
be real and stop making generalization
hanespam 9 months ago
@Sonicku just ha ha your just.........
be real and stop making generalization
p.s. india people are willing to live the rest of there lives unhappy to stay married and also all the things you said also happens in india but not at the same rate as the usa
hanespam 9 months ago
@Sonicku Yes, America and I will judge you, conservative people, based on Western Morals which are based solely on sober debate, rational discussion and objectivism. Don't think I don't judge all the people who needlessly divorce.
You are merely throwing an emotional argument at the civilized world, because you cannot stand criticism. Like no Indian ever could.
LukeTheP 7 months ago
@Sonicku I am Canadian, well written I completely agree with you
umk123 5 months ago
@Sonicku I think its worth considering that family/societal pressures that are pervasive in Indian culture discourage women or men in arranged marriages from seeking a divorce when they find themselves in the position that they are unhappy. Low divorce rate don't necessarily reflect successful marriages.
ysomnay 4 months ago
@Sonicku i mean people you have to Really, REALLY imaging yourself in this position.. how would u feel having your parents divorce? bein "shared" by mom and dad? your mom bein married multiple time and your dad having a different woman in his house every Saturday?... and also imaging yourself as a parent "IS YOUR ROMANTIC HAPPINESS REALLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR KIDS?"
Sonicku 4 months ago
@Sonicku they are not judging. It is just discussion. Anyway all or world expect china, everyone arrange their kids follow a religion. evan anthist arrage their kids to broght up in to certain religion. I personly think religion should not be arranged. what religion give confussion, but arrange marriage still marriage and we got same deal sexaully.
Sex is issue when it come to marriage. Marriage/sex produce a child a life. arrange religion and arrange marriage which one best? which is worst?
steveniruthaya 3 months ago
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iBlabbalot 1 year ago
.........sure.
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ftgyhtdryfgyrtytr 1 year ago
I don't know...
You cannot choose to love them, you would practically have to. =[
LuckyIzzy659 1 year ago
Arranged marriage is one of the best things in the Indian culture. i have seen lots of marriages that crossed 25 year mark; seeing the ups an down of life and still deeply in love with each other. As a matter of fact my grand dad and grand ma will celebrate there 50th anniversary next year and the love and understanding they have is amazing.
As far as Finding true love is concerned You can never be sure.
malani292 1 year ago
Indian culture regarding marriage sucks. There are good people but many are crazy. They are more worried about other people and culture when it comes to marriage. Its more to do with the status than the couple in marriage. Hence divorce is also guided by the same rule. No one will dare to divorce because the status in society will be lost. Its nothing to do with Love.
pencildot 1 year ago 2
arranged marriages are generally a good idea however alot depends on the families involved. usually everything about a woman is heavily scrutinised by the guy`s family...they can ask some really pathetic questions on things like...weight, skin colour, cooking abilities lol.
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kchrstnsn 1 year ago
why would anybody ever allowed for somebody else to arrange their marrige? That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard. IT'S YOUR LIFE SO YOU MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS.......Religion, culture and dumb ass parents can all wait. YOU must be happy not everybody else.
Redcaster916 1 year ago 3
@Redcaster916 Not everyone wants to please themselves. The reason for arranged marriages is because these people mainly want to please and bring honor to their parents. The love of family is more important than self pleasure.
metropolis3043 11 months ago
@metropolis3043 Your sentence is such a contradiction. If the so called love of family is mutual then why bring suffering to another family member?
xiyui 9 months ago
@xiyui I don't understand how I'm being contradictory. How is an arranged marriage bringing suffering to another family member?
I'm assuming you are thinking that the woman would be unhappy with her husband and marrying him only because that's what her parents want? If that's the case, then you are mistaken. Happiness for them is marrying the man of their family's choice and bringing them honor.
metropolis3043 9 months ago
@metropolis3043 fortunately i understand just as there are arranged marriages that work there are those that don’t. Those who are happy were able balance out the happiness between the marriage and their family and not because “Not everyone wants to please themselves” or “The love of family is more important than self pleasure.” Do you honestly think that a woman would be happy if her marriage was miserable? Of course you do because to you “Happiness for them is marrying the man of their
xiyui 9 months ago
@xiyui family's choice and bringing them honour.” Do you actually believe happiness is distributed systematically as long as women marry the man their family picked? Or worse do you actually believe it is their duty to be satisfied with the men their family chose? Stop your delusions.
xiyui 9 months ago
PEOPLE MAKING COMMENTS LIKE PEOPLE IN ARRANGED MARRIAGE COUNTRIES CANT GET OUT THATS A BOLD FACE LIE....IN ANCIENT ISLAMIC COUNTRIES DIVORCE WAS HIGHER THAN IT IS TODAY AND USUALLY COULD BE INITIATED BY THE WOMAN.,.....ALSO IF A WOMAN IN A COUNTRY CANT GET OUT OF AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE SHE CANT GET OUT OF A LOVE MARRAIGE EITHER AS DIVORCE IS BAD RIGHT?
sguardian870 1 year ago
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@sguardian870 too long. didnt read. capslock sucks.
DaWeedHH 1 year ago
SO WHATS WRONG WITH KEEPING WITH UR TRADITION EXACTLY....
sguardian870 1 year ago 2
NOTE THE KEY WORD THEY BOTH SAID YES....
sguardian870 1 year ago
Sure the divorce rate may be low but isn't it because if you do divorce it's considered disgraceful?
It seems that no one cares if the man/woman is unhappy, oh no....as long as everyone thinks you are content and it makes your family look good and reputable then its all good. Boo to arranged marriages.
MoNkEyCaKeS85 1 year ago 31
@MoNkEyCaKeS85
actually usually they are happy, its like when you meet someone you start liking them, and things progress well its kinda like that except u do that in the marriage, i have many people in documentaries who are happy, its like learning someone for the 1st time, so you bond together over time
CaligirlSofia 1 year ago
@MoNkEyCaKeS85 Arranged marriages aren't necessarily or even usually forced. I think the Indian practice is where two couples bring their children together and suggest their children should marry.
Myrtone 10 months ago
@MoNkEyCaKeS85 someone should nuke hardliner arranged marriage sex slavers!!!
harris3693 5 months ago
@MoNkEyCaKeS85 actually studies have shown that couples that got married by means of arranged marrage are on average happier about their relationship with their spouse than couples that got married by means of the romantic tradition.
omgitsaghiles 4 months ago
after 3 years still you are married happy couple or got divorce babe hahahaa
iloveindiaSweden 1 year ago
I think arranged marriages are just the solution for west. Children can focus on education and career, while parents look out for agood bride/groom. morever the divorce rate of less then 2% means it is successeful. From religious point of view one does not need to have pre-martial sex of sleeping with several poeple and land up in a marriage which has 50% divorce rate.
msiddiqui135 1 year ago
@msiddiqui135 do you know why the divorce rate is low in arranged marriages thats because if you divorce the person you have been arranged to it brings a bad reputation to your family as an indian male i am against arranged marriages becuase not everything in an arranged marriage is fun and luck my parents are still together only because of their children or they would have been divorced back when i was just 2 years old
monikhushalpuri 1 year ago 2
The only reason why the divorce rate is under 2% is because if you get a divorce you disgrace the family.
TheSecretsofAngels 1 year ago
Of course they had little problems accepting her white fiance there children would have a lighter skin complexion than her and probably all the other family members. In Indian culture the lighter you are the better and the more attractive you are perceived ( much like in America ) So of course they would be all for their daughter marring a white guy with little to no reservations but let an Indian girl try that with a Black man or a half black man that sure as hell wouldn't have flown . LMAO
BiracialGirl1977 1 year ago
@BiracialGirl1977 It has nothing to do with looks and skin color or the guy being white or black. We're watching the same video right? She did say her parents had a problem with her marrying out of her race, but at the end of the day she'll do what she wants to do & the parents have to accept it sooner or later & in her case it was sooner so she is lucky.
Ocean3589 10 months ago
@Ocean3589 umm no her parents accepted it immediately when she said she was going to marry this white dude 7:17. It was her cousins who said she will get divorced just because her fiance was white 8:06.
xiyui 9 months ago
What happens if the dude has a small 2 inch dick...then what??? lol
canibus19 1 year ago
This news guy is so rude in his ignorance. Treat the chick your interviewing like a normal person no some alien from a differant planet. Shes an american born and raised here.
shaqdaddy11 1 year ago
culture: who gives a flying fuk about culture. Only the sheep follow culture the thinkers make there own path in live.
shaqdaddy11 1 year ago
@shaqdaddy11 YES UR SO SMART BUT IS LOVE MARRIAGE NOT A CULTURE OF THE USA AND MOST WESTERN COUNTRIES STOP TALKING OUT UR ASS. THATS CULTURE TOO.....AND THIS VIDEO CLIP IS PROMOTING THAT, JUST ASS HER COUSINS WERE PROMOTING THIER CULTURE. IM NOT INDIAN AND IM GOING TO HAVE A LOVE MARRIAGE BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN IM STUPID AND IGNORANT LIKE U TO MAKE SUCH DUMB COMMENTS.
sguardian870 1 year ago
@sguardian870 "LOVE" is not a cultural phenomenon you moron.
shaqdaddy11 1 year ago
@shaqdaddy11 no it isnt fool but the person u choose to live ur life with in terms of marriage is..,....if u choose arrange marriage and grow to love them and u meet a restaurant and then fall in love and get married is it not all still love.......in both situations have there not been fallouts........my point is ur in no place to pull down anothers way of doing things,,,,,so the only moron is u an ignorant foolish one at that.
sguardian870 1 year ago
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but arranged marriages have success with the blessings of elders
dheerajcipet 1 year ago
Ahh i wish i could marry a good Indian guy through an aranged marriage! but im not indian soooo i dont think its possible?
NATiVEBABi916LADy 1 year ago
Im Indian, So I Can Say This, Indian Marriages Are Now All For Show. Kinda Like A MTV TV Show! Not A Good Thing
kashisall1 1 year ago
"In India, marriage is thought to be for life,[3] and the divorce rate is extremely low due to societal and family pressures on the consequences of a separation."
also, how can she be westernized if she's been born there? I mean she's from the US, Indian heritage, but she isn't westernized, she IS western!!
akissy 1 year ago 2
very interesting...I can see the situation in a cultural way and the westernize way, but I think arrange marriage is more of a culture shock to some people and everyone should just respect people's tradition and stop with all the negative criticisms (^.^)
marylovecast 1 year ago
haha American Born confused Desi funny
That white guy she married is too pale even for a white guy,don't you think?
TheQueenGia 1 year ago
I don't understand why so many people are against arranged marriages. It's just a cultural thing. You can't expect things to be the same everywhere.
I'm an Indian-American raised in the U.S., and I don't plan on having an arranged marriage, but I know many Indians my age who do, and I honestly don't see any problem with it. It's not like other systems are any better.
SJJGautham08 1 year ago
Her parents are more cooler? Sorry to nitpick but I can't stand it when people can't use grammar properly. I'll accept "cool" as a slang because I use it all the time, most Americans do. But it would be "more cool." Sorry, that just irks me.
raerae1281 1 year ago
They should interview her after 4 or 6 years and ask her about her marriage if she is still married that is.
Marriage in America has become a joke.
motorola99 1 year ago 3
listen if u want love marriage, u fuking have love marriage, yes respect ur culture but u dont force urself ever 4 arrange. its simple isn't it.
chinikumhai 1 year ago
Pauleen has been whitewashed. Everything from her name to her choice of man. I don't care if Indian women have arranged marriages or date openly as long as their partners are Indian. And that white guy she married doesn't look handsome at all.
qazzaqs123 1 year ago
It's horrible that just because it's "hard" for you to have an actual date you'll turn lazy and let your parents decide.... It's horrible and sad. I would prefer to be alone for along time than let any other person decide whom I should share my pillow with.
akissy 1 year ago
It was the Arab Muslims, who first brought this arranged marriage tradition to India. Now almost all Indians, especially Hindus, practice it as their own. No where in the Vedic scriptures it mentions of this Islamic type arranged marriages practiced by Hindus.
If there is please give the Verse, and Chapter number of the ancient Sanskrit literature.
sanskritism . com
Politactic 1 year ago 3
@Politactic arranged marriage is not mentioned in qur'an as well but premarital sex is forbidden in Islam, hence, arrange marriage is developed culturally in order to avoid premarital sex and promiscuity and I think Indians have same ideology about premarital sex, which may be why they adopted or have that culture
P.s In my opinion arrange marriage in not bad as long as it is not "forced arranged marriage"
ezgarl1 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Arranged marriage is like a biz deal, a compromise.
# the girl needs a male and financial security.
# the boy needs a sexual partner.
# the father of boy wants Return on Investments on the money he spend on boy.
# the mother of boy needs a girl from same caste and same culture.
On the parents level its about exchange of money & on personal level its about sex. nothing more than that.
no love, equality, respect, understanding. Just living together as a sexual partners. im indian btw :P
chint 1 year ago
media is stupid...tat girl is not indian she is American..born in America ...your culture is the society you live in not just your mom and dad...
in USA the family is failed concept....at 50 % divorce rate nothing to feel happy about... with couple not ready to adjust to each others shortcoming marrige is bound fail..arraiged or love marriage does not matter
IdoCareForPeople 1 year ago
1) Marriage is a business contract anyway. Love clouds your judgment. How many women are with complete losers because of love. At least if you have your family helping you can make a right decision. Plus look at divorce rates in the US and in India. As long as both people are willing partners more power to them.
MYacono 1 year ago
some over-ambitious parents kill the life of their kids and they get them a contract of a wife or a Husband. And this is coming from an Indian, whose Indian girl friend , who happen to be of same community has been forced into a marriage by her parents... and I lost her .. next life may be,
saikiranoruganti 1 year ago
desi means local person like a native as opposed to foreigner. since its indian (hindi) it would have to mean local indian person. so isn't ABCD an oxymoron? Since when is an american born person a desi?
bobbytmathew 1 year ago
he he saw this in sociology class the other day...
xoCrackAox 1 year ago
How do you celebrate for a week? I'm ready to go home after an 8 hour American wedding.
SepherStar 1 year ago 2
@SepherStar I'm surprised weddings are that damn long. That would be grueling.
enterjcs 1 year ago
pauleen i think u r ABCD....many ppl know which side they want to be on....no 1 is confused....i think u were confused....dats y u were not married till the age of 23 or 24....ur cousins were not confused...they knew their culture....when 1 person forgets their own culture and adops another culture...they are confused...ur skin colour is "brown"...u r desi....ur culture cant be american...i think u r confused...dats y u gave looney tunes example...
lotaywala 1 year ago
fuck u pauleen...i grew up in canada...i will marry a pakistani girl from back home...i live like a pakistani....pakistan is in my heart....i take my culture very seriously....not every1 sits in front of the TV, eats cereal and watches looney tunes....so fuck u....u white washed person....many of us sit and drink tea and eat parathay...n watch cricket
lotaywala 1 year ago
i luv preet's hair
eurasia12 1 year ago
@Daktech13 well said bro!
I came here when i was 5 years old too and have great respect for my Indian culture and HIndu religion...i strongly believe in arrange marriages because it worked out soo well in my family. Not a single person has gone through a divorce in my family and all are happily married. My family would never force me to marry an old ugly hag. If my time comes, they told me that I have the freedom to choose a man for marriage...I know it sure as hell will be an Indian/ hindu :-)
desichick 1 year ago
I totally agree with the lady who married the white guy
XxTajinderxX 1 year ago
I have two Indian American friends and their families are going to have a huge influence in who they marry. I just shake my head.
isw1214 1 year ago
There are pros and cons to arranged marriages just as the fact that there are pros and cons to love marriages. There's no right or wrong...
heyjackie19 1 year ago
A lousy excuse to force wed someone young to an old fuck. When your older it's your life adults don't need nozy old tea bags to pamper someone over 20s to 30 s. Bs just go to America free country:3
Clarince1 1 year ago
I wonder if she's still married?
indianguy998877 1 year ago
The last guy I was with was to be married in an arranged marriage but wanted to have as much sex as possible first....would've been funny if it happened to anyone else lol
mooki3babiiyonkerz 1 year ago
and in pakistan some women are murdered if they say no, was recent on news here in usa, a young paki girl was strangled by her own dad cause she refused to marry what her father chosen for her.
debz12180 2 years ago
Thats a bit too beyond the line. I try to think that Pakistanis know the existence of Humanity. I just lost that thought. Good on you father for killing your own daughter, just because she said no for a marriage. Fucking pathetic father.
railpressureflip 2 years ago
and the men are allowed to have up to 4 wives, lol. this way he'll never get bored and have new piece of ass,
debz12180 2 years ago
they only marry like this cause of money and even if their marriage goes bad, the woman stays married cause her family would not take her back,
debz12180 2 years ago
she goes to back of the car, lol.
debz12180 2 years ago
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa what if she were ugly?? does he still marry her just to please his mommy???
debz12180 2 years ago
Quran allows first cousin marriages & Muslim parents encourage their kids to marry their first cousins!!!!! THIS IS A FACT.
rayj778 2 years ago 2
9 months lol
jaysingh6418 2 years ago
She is totally right your parents know you the best.Why wouldn't they pick the best for you.
cbrun67176 2 years ago
arranged marriage are so great i had a love relationship it was so sad arranged marriage is less 1%..love marriage is so sad and emotional mixed marriages are the worst.
lasog341 2 years ago
arranged or not, marriage is scary .Just not my thing. Just saying
buzzingbee25 2 years ago 14
@buzzingbee25 Fuck that..i'm ok with marriage if I can have 10 wives. LMAO
canibus19 1 year ago
@buzzingbee25 lol!!!
dashiatv 1 year ago
Parents black mail their own children for this! They program their children's mind, brain wash them!
This sucks big time and we are in the 21st century... imagine that!
latinfireat 2 years ago
I'm glad Pauline is happy with her choice. She wouldn't have been happy if she had an arranged marriage, chosen by her parents. And what's more, if her groom had come from India, he would not have settled or assimilated well in a Western country.
fgth1984 2 years ago 2
Indians are fully western since many cultures around the world have adopted many western customs and habits. With history of Indian, europeans had a major influence on India.
guljindersd 2 years ago
The bride(That agreed with the marriage) is very pretty.
RikuFan111 2 years ago 4
@RikuFan111 She was quite smitten by him I think.
SepherStar 1 year ago
It all depends on the TYPE of family you have- not all are the same! A sociologist I met few yrs back said that about 23% of Indian-Americans were marrying someone outside their background.
knightleyemma 2 years ago
plz don't get me wrong..I, in no way shapeorform support people who force their daughters to marry against their wishes... this is totally against Islam. M/b this is a cultural custom but it's NOT part of Islam. Im a Pakistani Canadian but dont do arranged marriages and my fam definately don't force n e 1 to marry someone we don't want 2. Islamically, if a girl doesn't want 2 marry some1, she doesn't have to. The last say is the girls say nd w/o her consent the marriage is void...not acceptable!
brownangel786 2 years ago 3
No in Pakistani culture you marry yours cousins......
mullah666 2 years ago
uhh indians also marry cousins, so do bengalis wht's ur point?
brownangel786 2 years ago
Indians cannot marry cousins because of gotra. Your Pakistani culture adopts the Arab system of marrying cousins to breed inbred half-genetic retards.
mullah666 2 years ago