A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' from curtis
i'm no funny person but i'll give it a try errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm?!?! awwwww crap I can't think of anything (fart).
Batman interrogation (Batman) Where is he Owl (Owl) Whooo (Batman) where's harvey Dent? (Owl)Whoooo (Batman) Rgggggh WHERE ARE HARVEY DONT LIE TO ME .....JUST forget it (Batman)Where is Harvey Dent Bat? (Bat) ..................... (Batman)Thanks Fello Bat (Commissioner) What where Dent? (Batman)Avenue X (Commissioner) you speak Bat but not Owls? thats why they call him the batman
emgo316 reads " and yay he doth deliver the exclusives unto me for to him i am thankful to he who hath made me laugh" .... why not its obviously transclesrant to see i win
OMG OMG OMG ITS A CONTEST FOR TWO EXCLUSIVE TOYS OMG OMG OMG :D :D :D :D :D I WANT TO ENTER SO BADLY OMG OMG I HAVE SO LITTLE TIME TO COME UP WITH A JOKE OMG OMG PLUS YOU WONT THINK THIS IS FUNNY AT ALL BUT I HAVE AN AWESOME JOKE......hi.
a man dies in car accident with his wife. "It is very easy to get into heaven just spell the word love" says ST Peter. the man says "That is easy L-O-V-E" ST Peter says "that is right you can come in." but then something comes up and ST Peter says "Could you watch the gates for me thanks" while standing at the gates the man sees his wife coming he says "what are you doing here?" she says "I died in the crash too" so the man says "Oh its very easy to get into heaven just spell Czechoslovakia"
And so our vailient hero walks on to freedom and the promise of a new tomorrow!
And he will come to rue and lament it but he knows this will only come too soon.
He hast made it so far ... to have to once again come back to the hords of Godless zombies and demons that will only serve to sap his soul, taking him piece by piece just how much can this man of valor take? How much can he endure?
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
i know i will win because i got a email from chuck norris saying that if i dont win he will kick not just mascots ass but megatrons ass and shockwaves ass and my ass as well so please emgo i dont want to get my ass kicked by chuck norris.
A duck walks into a barn and asks the farmer "do you have any eggs" and the farmer says "no" the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes into the same barn and asks the same thing and the farmer says the same thing but he gets angry and tells duck and says "Never come back if you do i will nail you to the wall!". the next day the duck comes back and when the farmer sees him he is enraged but this time duck ask "do you have any nails?" the farmer says no so the duck asks "do you have any eggs?
A string walks into a bar and says bartender how about a drink.
Bartender says we don't serve strings here. The string looks around the bar a little and says bartender how about that drink.
The bartender says I told you we don't serve strings here now leave.
The string goes into the bathroom looks in the mirror and messes up his hair real good. Goes back out sits down and says bartender how bout a drink. Tender says you the same string I just told to leave. String says nope I'm a frayed knot
this is how i learned to mind my own biusness. i walked by the mental hospital and they were yelling 13 13. so i looked through a hole in the planks and someone poked me in the eye and they then yelled 14 14
(toysRus ) (Manager) Remember Bob always put a smile:) (Bob)sure boss (bob) hey welcome to toyRus do you need help with anything:) (Me) Yeah iv'e got a question (bob) yes:) (Me) do sell toys here? (bob)you do know this is a toy store and yes anything else (Me) yes what toys you have here (Bob) Transformers,Star Wars,Gi Joe,Hot Wheels,Pokemon,Jurassic Park.. (Me) umh what is he saying all man i hope its not a quiz (Bob)anything you like (ME)yes,no maybe i dont know (Me)you sell toys (Bob):(
did you see on the news? Police shot and killed a man. The guy was driving in his car with his gas cap open and flicked a cigarette out the window and the cigarette went into the gas tank and caught the car on fire. The man stopped the car and got out while on fire, police showed up and shot him....because he had fire arms.
a blond girl goes to the docter to get her ultrasound done and the docter comes in with the results and says"congrateulations your pergant with twins" and then she starts crying and the docter asks "don't you want them?" and she responds "no i want them, but i don't know who the second father is!"
Three friends a blond, a brunette, and a red head get stranded on an island. They find a bottle and rub it. A genie appeared before them and said I will grant you each one wish. The red head wished for a boat to get off the island and back home, the brunette wished for a plane and went home. The blond started to cry so the genie asked why are you crying, the blond said I wish my friends could be here
FOR SALE BY OWNER: complete set of encyclopedia britannica. 45 volumes. excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. no longer needed. got married last weekend. Wife knows everything. also, braille dictionary for sale. bust see to appreciate. AND some free puppies!: 1/2 cocker spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog
1. Chuck Norris is so awesome that he spit on a truck and that truck attained his DNA and is now Optimus Prime. 2. Why did ganondorf's computer get a virus? He clicked on too many links!
an old man was sitting on a bench in the park. A young guy walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. Every time the young guy looked, the old man was staring. The young guy finally said sarcastically "what the F**** the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the old man replied, " Got drunk once and F***** a parrot. I was just wondering if your my son.
find the E eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Once a man in a bar made a bet with another man that if the other man can float outside the bar and go back in, he wins 90 dollars. The starter went first and floated to outside and back and the other man decided to try that but when he jumped out the window, he fell to his death. The bar-tender told to the man who floated: "Superman, you're an asshole."
Yeah so there are alot of really stupid jokes on here and really bad momma jokes so yeah anyways now to the making you laugh part:
.........you will laugh........you will laugh ..............you will laugh...... are you laughing let? No. hmmm............. lets try this so a guy walks in to a bar.............. no those never work........... you will laugh......... geez still not laughing I swear making you laugh is harder then trying to put butter up a wildcat's rear end with a hot poker
once there was a frenchman a mexican and an american on a ship the boat was sinking so each person had to through something over board the frenchman dumded out a barrel of crusants and said "we have to many of those in our country." the mexican threw over a barrel of burritos and siad "we have to many of those in our country." then the american picked up the mexican and threw him overboard and said "we have to many of those in our country." ( I am not trying to be racist because i luv mexicans)
over at my sisters house they have a wooden railing on thier stairs that my nephew always slides down, one day while i was there for a visit he slid down and met me at the bottom with a strange look on his face, i asked whats wrong, he said i'll never do that again, i asked why "DARE I SAY", he replied, i was heading north and met a splinter going south...... OUCH!!!! GEEK4LIFE LOL
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment!" Also here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
Never thought another grown man would fulfill my dreams of giving me his pink motorcycle, and doubt it will happen now :( Guess I better keep on dreaming.
The only jokes I know of are adult related, and some perverted. However; I do know a trick.
close your eyes for 45 seconds to a few minutes (2 or 3 minutes). While doing that, only think about bald, focus your mind on any form of baldness. when the time is up open your eyes and look at anybody close to you (family, friends, love ones, whoever), and let the laughter begins.
Sometimes this trick works for some people, and yes there is a way to reverse this.
Hey EmGo... you know you want to laugh at this comment as it's COCONUT FREE!!!!!!! Speaking of coconut, I had a mounds candy bar the other day and found myself chewing on the coconut for quite a while, it seemed like it refused to break down... almost made me want to go on strike against coconuts.
This is a joke not real. Me and my dad got pulled over 4 speeding and my dad said I'm trying to go bury a dead body in the trunk the officer said I'm going to call the super visor the super visor came and said my deputy says u hv a dead body in the trunk my dad says no there isn't and he pops the trunk with nothing in of my dad says see he's lying and I bet that lying son of a bitch will say I was speeding to
Well, Cup, it is halloween night. Our human friends have gone trick-or-treating, and I got our giant jack o'lanterns put out. Hey, Hot Rod? What is it, Bumblebee? You're not going to believe this, but I just saw the ghost of Optimus Prime, and he wants something from us. Oh, no! It's him. Oh, no! He's going to steal the energon candy. I thought you'd be more afraid that he'd kill us. Who cares if he kills us? We don't want him to steal the energon candy for the trick-or-treaters.
everyone is Captured by Megatron and everyone but jack and bee but bee is injured (Bee) (Bee) bee bot bo bo bee bot boo boobuewww (Jack) what happen (Bee) (Bee) bee bot bo bo bee bot boo boobuewww bot bo bo (Jack) i Cant understand you (Bee) BEE BOT BOO BOO BO BEE BOT BUEEWW 4 Hours Later of :Bee bot bo bo ba boobuewww (Jack) Man why didn't raf gave me his autobot decepticon translating book (Bee) Help me get raf and the others (Jack) Wait you can talk ??? i must be crazy be can talk???
(M) Any Last Words Bot Before i Kill Optimus your leader (B) bee bot bo bo bee bot boo buuuuwoo (M) Hummmh (B) bee bot bo bo bee bot boo boo (M) Now Why should i do that? (Bee) bee bot bo bo bee bot boo boo bot be be be.... (M) hummmh Yes ............ (M) .........yes Alright Scout you Win this Time (M) But Next time i wont give mercy (Translate) (M) Any Last Words Bot Before i Kill Optimus your leader (B) Wait Dont Do it (M)Hummh (B) If u Kill him you will have no one to challenge
About 3-ish years ago, my dad and I went to the movies. I forgot what movie we saw, but you'll hopefully understand when I tell you this story. It was winter and very cold. There was snow all over the parking lot of the theater. As we walked up to the theater we saw this empty wheelchair in an empty parking space. My dad immediately said "It must be really cold outside because whoever was in that wheelchair got up and walked home. I bet his family members shouted 'IT'S A MIRACLE!'." Very funny.
Three men got shipwrecked on a deserted island. They went exploring one day and found a magical lamp. They rub the lamp and a Genie came out and said you have three wishes. The first man wish I was back home and the second man wished the same. The Genie ask the last man what is your wish, he said I sure am lonely I wish my friends were back here.
Hey emgo316 i don't know did you have this awkward situation but i have it yesterday : i was in the market buying leader class sentinel prime and the seller asked is that for my son and i tell her that the toy is for me and the she start to laugh and that was very awkward :)
my little budgie jut broke its leg so i made him a splint with 2 swan vestas matches. u should have seen his little face light up when he started to walk
When you got to pay more attention to school: re-taking a math-final for the gazillionth time, and end up in the wrong exam room three times in a row. Now I aign't much of a funny guy but what must be said is that it is awesome for a great reviewer to pull something like this off, keep it going Emgo, an can't wait till your Prime reviews go up, since they are most likely not to appear yet AGAIN in Europe!
To cope with my girlfriends cat terrorizing my dogs I give it nicknames. My top two are "Colon Kitty" for being under my feet and "Hippo-Kat-imus" just because she is fat as sin.
Bumblebee said to arcee milk milk lemonade around the corner fudge is made and all the autobots looked at him
TheMrboy10 2 weeks ago
kitty kitty mu mu stick your head in doo doo from curtis
keana7101 3 weeks ago
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'' from curtis
keana7101 3 weeks ago
why did the dog dide to mak a ass
MILDRED981 1 month ago
Making Love To...
How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher,a nurse or an airline stewardess?
A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we get it right.
A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit.
And a airline stewardness says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.
lmfaocamiwashere 1 month ago
itchy ratchet rusty my bum hole optimus scratch it
9GodzillaFan 2 months ago
i'm no funny person but i'll give it a try errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm, errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm?!?! awwwww crap I can't think of anything (fart).
Trax400 2 months ago
i lick robo dick and i sucked unicrons cock PINGAS!
theautobotjedi 3 months ago
What do Transformers say if they hate something?
S-crap!
redblast246 3 months ago
Hey emgo, Diarrhea!
heheheheheehehehehehe
BionicleSpot 3 months ago
megatron's mother was a toaster
mrUnclejackass 3 months ago
MythoBot 3 months ago
Robot boobies !!!
floridadragon1 3 months ago
k go to dragon ball z vegeta ransformation real life then click the first one and fyi think of it as the worlds most epic crap
cosmocat34 3 months ago
Emgo superior. Soundwave *wimp* inferior. Pick me emgo, o great transformers god- son of primus!
beywiz 3 months ago
Comment removed
MrIb0t 3 months ago
Baby addicted to transformers and baby needs a fix
jaboo1man 3 months ago
Robo boobies !!
floridadragon1 3 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Hey emgo
RROOBBOO BBOOOOBBIIEESS!!!! XD
floridadragon1 3 months ago
dare i say WHY NOT!?
kayene 3 months ago
Hey hey emgo
RROOBBOO BBOOOOBBIIEESS!! XD
floridadragon1 3 months ago
emgo316 reads " and yay he doth deliver the exclusives unto me for to him i am thankful to he who hath made me laugh" .... why not its obviously transclesrant to see i win
kayene 3 months ago
1+1=Potato
RandomToyReviewer 3 months ago
Plz let me win I dnt hv much of anything
floridadragon1 3 months ago
Comment removed
MrIb0t 3 months ago
Q: how come omega supreme can fly and trypticon cant?
A: Trypticon stores every GIGANTIC decepticons in him.
123Bulkhead 3 months ago
Comment removed
MrIb0t 3 months ago
A Kreon medic was createing a ratchet and he was like he has a lot of red pieces Who is reb alret
jesuscordoba30 3 months ago
Have seen kick ass well u shoud it kicks ass
jesuscordoba30 3 months ago
Sorry not finish
jesuscordoba30 3 months ago
Have u seen super bad well
jesuscordoba30 3 months ago
Well I helped make a video called Super Dude with the user called Ryder Omega i hope you can find it
ThePrimetime84 3 months ago
OMG OMG OMG ITS A CONTEST FOR TWO EXCLUSIVE TOYS OMG OMG OMG :D :D :D :D :D I WANT TO ENTER SO BADLY OMG OMG I HAVE SO LITTLE TIME TO COME UP WITH A JOKE OMG OMG PLUS YOU WONT THINK THIS IS FUNNY AT ALL BUT I HAVE AN AWESOME JOKE......hi.
BloodyDreamcast 3 months ago
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
toydude22 3 months ago
What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
If I win those toys, I'm gonna be happier than a Junkion at flea market...
Btw, if Prowl beats someone up, isn't that police brutality?
Hyuk Hyuk... ahhhh I kill me.
Please send me toys. Kthx.
ChuckSkillz 3 months ago
a man dies in car accident with his wife. "It is very easy to get into heaven just spell the word love" says ST Peter. the man says "That is easy L-O-V-E" ST Peter says "that is right you can come in." but then something comes up and ST Peter says "Could you watch the gates for me thanks" while standing at the gates the man sees his wife coming he says "what are you doing here?" she says "I died in the crash too" so the man says "Oh its very easy to get into heaven just spell Czechoslovakia"
chucker173 3 months ago
just watch oooohhh . . . all of your videos!
You don't stop playing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop playing! Be geek, be proud! and now I say: PALM IN YO FACE!!!!!!!!!!
Robotindisguise25 3 months ago
Has Arcee taken out a Restraining order on you yet?
JHydon 3 months ago in playlist More videos from emgo316
Why is Soundwave so popular? I mean, he's such a stereotype...literary!
And what about Thunderblast from Cybertron, they actually gave her boobs in the cartoon. Which means she’s a motorboat…that you can “motorboat”?!
They should have called her Bombshell, because that’s what she is!
In Beast Wars they reused the name Inferno to a fire ant, as opposed to a fire truck. I can’t believe they didn’t name one of the crabs Sideways!
holsson85 3 months ago
how many decepticons does it take to fix a lamp? none they just wanna destroy it
TheTransmon 3 months ago
And so our vailient hero walks on to freedom and the promise of a new tomorrow!
And he will come to rue and lament it but he knows this will only come too soon.
He hast made it so far ... to have to once again come back to the hords of Godless zombies and demons that will only serve to sap his soul, taking him piece by piece just how much can this man of valor take? How much can he endure?
But he knows it must... be ...DONE!
He has to clock in at 7:30am. Damn you Walmart.
norbulousprime 3 months ago
a club walked into a seal
no wait
a baby club walked into
no
a bat and a seal
no
oh yeah
a baby seal walked into a club!
castrovictor 3 months ago
hi
castrovictor 3 months ago
Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.
scarex22 3 months ago
If I ever have twins, I’d use one for parts.
scarex22 3 months ago
i know i will win because i got a email from chuck norris saying that if i dont win he will kick not just mascots ass but megatrons ass and shockwaves ass and my ass as well so please emgo i dont want to get my ass kicked by chuck norris.
1mymm 3 months ago
What do girls and fractions have in common? If they are under 18 do them in your head! LOL
sushanthsangem123 3 months ago
yo mamma so fat that when she reads the menu she says YES!!!
AutobotAwsomeness 4 months ago
yo mamma so fat that her belly button has an echo
AutobotAwsomeness 4 months ago
yo mamma so fat that they had to babtize her at sea world
AutobotAwsomeness 4 months ago
A duck walks into a barn and asks the farmer "do you have any eggs" and the farmer says "no" the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes into the same barn and asks the same thing and the farmer says the same thing but he gets angry and tells duck and says "Never come back if you do i will nail you to the wall!". the next day the duck comes back and when the farmer sees him he is enraged but this time duck ask "do you have any nails?" the farmer says no so the duck asks "do you have any eggs?
chucker173 4 months ago
A string walks into a bar and says bartender how about a drink.
Bartender says we don't serve strings here. The string looks around the bar a little and says bartender how about that drink.
The bartender says I told you we don't serve strings here now leave.
The string goes into the bathroom looks in the mirror and messes up his hair real good. Goes back out sits down and says bartender how bout a drink. Tender says you the same string I just told to leave. String says nope I'm a frayed knot
bruiserbrandal 4 months ago
okay so you know that last scene from catwoman
with haley berry is just plain awfull well its
because of the fact that the main reson is that
sharon stone (main villen in the stroy) is 96 years
old so thats why the action is horrible in the last
action scene...LOL
sporeuploder15 4 months ago
twilight is almost over (praying to jesus) thank you!!
sporeuploder15 4 months ago
this is how i learned to mind my own biusness. i walked by the mental hospital and they were yelling 13 13. so i looked through a hole in the planks and someone poked me in the eye and they then yelled 14 14
dstarblaster123 4 months ago in playlist More videos from emgo316
Making a joke contest? Emgo, what IN THE UNIVERSE are YOU DOING?
IDraken35 4 months ago
MythoBot 4 months ago
JOKES! coming soon
jesuscordoba30 4 months ago
Comment removed
Tiggerlol1234 4 months ago
To mammas so fat, they call her Eclipse
TheBradHarper 4 months ago
To mammas so stupid, she puts glasses on to watch 20/20
TheBradHarper 4 months ago
a newfie walks up to another newfie and says
"eh, by, your house is burnin' down!"
the other one says
"ah, it's fine, I got enough lumber in the attic to build
another one!"
(by the way, im not trying to insult newfies. I AM one.)
megatronchenz22 4 months ago
ok i need a bigger keypad on my phone.... or maybe just borrow mascots little hands
kayene 4 months ago
sorry fat fingers.... that was suppises to read DARE i say why not
kayene 4 months ago
EMGO FOR PRESIDENT!!!! why not!? ..... date I say WHY NOT?! mascot as the secretary of defense!
kayene 4 months ago
A wise man once said "Never trust anything that bleeds for 3-5 days an dose'nt die"
Xybertron80 4 months ago
i have a video called the time i was so bored i danced episode 1 the hamster dance song if you havethe time watch it . it is funny
cetlayodin3737 4 months ago
did you see on the news? Police shot and killed a man. The guy was driving in his car with his gas cap open and flicked a cigarette out the window and the cigarette went into the gas tank and caught the car on fire. The man stopped the car and got out while on fire, police showed up and shot him....because he had fire arms.
CrispyKlown 4 months ago
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it was tied to the monkey!
JackPoke29 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have there motives questioned...
tributicon 4 months ago
Comment removed
tributicon 4 months ago
This'll make you laugh!
/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
tributicon 4 months ago
Gearge Lucas! HAHA!
tributicon 4 months ago
a blond girl goes to the docter to get her ultrasound done and the docter comes in with the results and says"congrateulations your pergant with twins" and then she starts crying and the docter asks "don't you want them?" and she responds "no i want them, but i don't know who the second father is!"
mrUnclejackass 4 months ago
Three friends a blond, a brunette, and a red head get stranded on an island. They find a bottle and rub it. A genie appeared before them and said I will grant you each one wish. The red head wished for a boat to get off the island and back home, the brunette wished for a plane and went home. The blond started to cry so the genie asked why are you crying, the blond said I wish my friends could be here
ThePrimetime84 4 months ago
Q: What's the one thing Heavy Labor (Longhaul) doesn't want to hear from Dr. Crank?
A: The balls are innert.
AoiKaze2000 4 months ago
hey emgo, check out my video, the trap, to me it's pretty funny!
MrOptimuspirme 4 months ago
FOR SALE BY OWNER: complete set of encyclopedia britannica. 45 volumes. excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. no longer needed. got married last weekend. Wife knows everything. also, braille dictionary for sale. bust see to appreciate. AND some free puppies!: 1/2 cocker spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog
took an hour to think of these...
drunkenfish6 4 months ago
oh and by the way i walked into a wall at school today.
i was sleep-learning
1mymm 4 months ago
chuck norris shot one bullet from a gun.
that gun s now known as megatron
1mymm 4 months ago
Nostalgia.
It's not what it used to be.
JHydon 4 months ago
It's sad how Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence, and not for his brilliantly realistic paintings of tunnels.
JHydon 4 months ago
If Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him.
JHydon 4 months ago
Six men locked away in steel tubes for a year and a half to simulate a mission to Mars have emerged from isolation.
After hearing the music of Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black, they have now agreed to do a mission to Pluto.
JHydon 4 months ago
1. Chuck Norris is so awesome that he spit on a truck and that truck attained his DNA and is now Optimus Prime. 2. Why did ganondorf's computer get a virus? He clicked on too many links!
Robotindisguise25 4 months ago
an old man was sitting on a bench in the park. A young guy walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. Every time the young guy looked, the old man was staring. The young guy finally said sarcastically "what the F**** the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the old man replied, " Got drunk once and F***** a parrot. I was just wondering if your my son.
galvatron691 4 months ago
What does a scientist say when something stinks?
Eureka
(You reek aaaahhh)
Aladar20003 4 months ago
joke is joke butt a joke is not a joke now you should go take bath now!!!!!! gime da toy or die LOL
CrazyRexWaffle 4 months ago
find the E eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
MTtoys5757 4 months ago
unicron trilogy optimus is way better thank jesus he got revided more times
kipris11 4 months ago
Why do women have boobs?....So you got something to look at while you talk to them!
How'd the bullet loose it's job?....Get's fired.....
LUGNUT1995 4 months ago
OMG!!! PLASITCI KIBBLE!!!!! *Arms Flayling and much screaming*
Foxfirestorm78 4 months ago
you want to hear a dirty joke
the pig was rolling in the mud!!!
wildjack64 4 months ago
yo mama so fat she got stuck in the grand canyon LOL
wildjack64 4 months ago
Enjoy the video project I did with muh friend, James, Emgo.
I'm the Norbert! ^_^ And the precious prize of Bumblebee and Arcee shall be MINE!
Enjoy, Emgo! I'm AKA Norbulousprime here
MrDeathMullet 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
happiness is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth!
brindapari1 4 months ago
I was out for a drink with my wife last night and I said, "I love you".
She asked me, "Is that you or the beer talking"
I said, "It's me........I'm talking to the beer"!
ensenada99 4 months ago
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
ensenada99 4 months ago
Once a man in a bar made a bet with another man that if the other man can float outside the bar and go back in, he wins 90 dollars. The starter went first and floated to outside and back and the other man decided to try that but when he jumped out the window, he fell to his death. The bar-tender told to the man who floated: "Superman, you're an asshole."
themetalsonic94 4 months ago
ha why did the monkey get ditenshon
cus he was monkeing a round
obiwankiller777 4 months ago
hey emgo you missed a flick
file374 4 months ago in playlist More videos from emgo316
Yeah so there are alot of really stupid jokes on here and really bad momma jokes so yeah anyways now to the making you laugh part:
.........you will laugh........you will laugh ..............you will laugh...... are you laughing let? No. hmmm............. lets try this so a guy walks in to a bar.............. no those never work........... you will laugh......... geez still not laughing I swear making you laugh is harder then trying to put butter up a wildcat's rear end with a hot poker
rogue1021 4 months ago
Sometimes, when no one is around, I cover myself with Vaseline and pretend I'm a slug.
starscreamer20 4 months ago 2
Your mama is so hairy she speaks chewbaca =)
atomicaj24 4 months ago
hey .... i got nothin
Ferret673 4 months ago
yo mama so fat she needs a watch for each time zone (not ment to be offensive to the obbese)
lazercat99 4 months ago
once there was a frenchman a mexican and an american on a ship the boat was sinking so each person had to through something over board the frenchman dumded out a barrel of crusants and said "we have to many of those in our country." the mexican threw over a barrel of burritos and siad "we have to many of those in our country." then the american picked up the mexican and threw him overboard and said "we have to many of those in our country." ( I am not trying to be racist because i luv mexicans)
murphylaw127 4 months ago
Yo mama so old when she acked her on age she turnd to dust
obiwankiller777 4 months ago in playlist More videos from emgo316
Yo mama so fat and old, that she was identified as mother earths twin.
beywiz 4 months ago
girls are like usernames: all the best ones are gone
TheMetalvideogame 4 months ago
What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with 3 catholic nuns?
NUN-CHUCKS LOLOLOLOLOL
EGT1984 4 months ago
This is the comment, OF JUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!
EGT1984 4 months ago
You know those smart phones that has the autocorrect function when you're texting? Well this happened to someone I know:
Girl: I love you!
Guy: I love you too! I'd buy you a casket so you can be in it forever!
*No reply from girl*
Guy: Man! What I meant was castle!
*Still no reply from girl* Honey? got my text? Hello?
ShockedSoundwave 4 months ago
Emgo superior Soundwave *wimp* inferior.
beywiz 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
is emgo316 the human incarnation of wreck-gar or scourge? :) ;) :)
caymemarvin 4 months ago
Comment removed
caymemarvin 4 months ago
Something funny? Ok. Revenge of the Fallen was a Emmy worthy movie and Micheal Bay's BEST WORK!!!!
WyntersHunter 4 months ago
what do you call a baby shooting poop at you???
anixben 4 months ago
guy1: (eating a half cooked meat)
guy2: (enters) Hey dude you know that your going to get a salmonella if you eat a half cooked food right?
guy3: (commented) Are you dumb he is not eating a salmon so he will not get a salmonella he will just get a meateella!!!
guy 1: so what if you eat a cinder block does it means your going to get a cinderella?
bontigaoa 4 months ago
yo momma so fat that she eat the m on the McDonald sign
SuperDellr 4 months ago
yo momma so dumb she got ran over by a parked car
chray815 4 months ago
over at my sisters house they have a wooden railing on thier stairs that my nephew always slides down, one day while i was there for a visit he slid down and met me at the bottom with a strange look on his face, i asked whats wrong, he said i'll never do that again, i asked why "DARE I SAY", he replied, i was heading north and met a splinter going south...... OUCH!!!! GEEK4LIFE LOL
MrSolitudio 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
this will make you laugh youtube.com/watch?v=QXldV3ZmxYw
Jlikoful 4 months ago
Yo mamma is so stupid that when she stuck a quarter in each ear, and when i asked her what she was doing she said i" i am listening to fifty cent
SuperGodzilla45 4 months ago
Hi, I just made you laugh! HAR HAR HARRRRRRRRRR
JNBakuBrawler 4 months ago
Is Obama homeless, Well why does he always ask for change.
ThePrimetime84 4 months ago
Yo mammas so fat, she didn't see the dwarf under her armpit
TheBradHarper 4 months ago
What is a toilets fav. Game.....
CALL OF DUTY!!!!
reytheman6019 4 months ago
Yo momma's so fat, pigs have a poster of her in thir stall
TheBradHarper 4 months ago
Yo mammas so fat, she's 101% body fat
TheBradHarper 4 months ago
Dad: Son your teacher called and he says your failing grammar
Son: Meh fail grammar thats umpossible
octivenote 4 months ago
its peanutbutter jelly time, peanutbutter jelly time
PrankBustersXD 4 months ago
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment!" Also here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
AstoundingChaos 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
baby let me put my loving in your eye so you can see me coming
DannyMozer 4 months ago
i got toes for noes
SuperDellr 4 months ago
i got dooo dooo in my pants
SuperDellr 4 months ago
rosa parks did not give up her seat on the bus because she was saving it for CHUCK NORRIS.
what do you get when you croos a old disney movie and a robot?
MEGA-TRON
1mymm 4 months ago
autobots: putting humans in the line of fire for thair own safety for 30 years.
needs to be on a shirt
thegenero 4 months ago
here's another - Why did the runner quit the race against Bigfoot? . . . . . . . . .
He couldn't face defeet!!
MetalBen721 4 months ago
Here's one I found - There were three men on a hill with their watches.
The first man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The second man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The third man threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and caught it.
The other two men were puzzled and asked the third man how he did it.
The third man said, "Easy. My watch is 5 minutes slow!"
MetalBen721 4 months ago
Never thought another grown man would fulfill my dreams of giving me his pink motorcycle, and doubt it will happen now :( Guess I better keep on dreaming.
Toddjumper 4 months ago
Sup Emgo,
The only jokes I know of are adult related, and some perverted. However; I do know a trick.
close your eyes for 45 seconds to a few minutes (2 or 3 minutes). While doing that, only think about bald, focus your mind on any form of baldness. when the time is up open your eyes and look at anybody close to you (family, friends, love ones, whoever), and let the laughter begins.
Sometimes this trick works for some people, and yes there is a way to reverse this.
Cool vid !
NightViewer00 4 months ago
Laugh emgo Laugh emgo, LAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! or snowbolimus prime will feed you COCONUTS!!!!
minotaur818 4 months ago
Hey EmGo... you know you want to laugh at this comment as it's COCONUT FREE!!!!!!! Speaking of coconut, I had a mounds candy bar the other day and found myself chewing on the coconut for quite a while, it seemed like it refused to break down... almost made me want to go on strike against coconuts.
Jenkaru 4 months ago
@Jenkaru FOR EMGO: Now laugh.. please?
Jenkaru 4 months ago
Kinny: What do you call to ghost's parents?
Smith: Transparents!
ACofCA 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@floridadragon1 whey to go to try KEEPING IT CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AutobotAwsomeness 4 months ago
Comment removed
TheQuincyT118 4 months ago
I made this one up for my daughter for halloween, and she liked it.
What did the baby vampire say to his victim?
"I want to suck your thumb!"
Happy Halloween!
Bunkheaded 4 months ago
This is a joke not real. Me and my dad got pulled over 4 speeding and my dad said I'm trying to go bury a dead body in the trunk the officer said I'm going to call the super visor the super visor came and said my deputy says u hv a dead body in the trunk my dad says no there isn't and he pops the trunk with nothing in of my dad says see he's lying and I bet that lying son of a bitch will say I was speeding to
floridadragon1 4 months ago
Well, Cup, it is halloween night. Our human friends have gone trick-or-treating, and I got our giant jack o'lanterns put out. Hey, Hot Rod? What is it, Bumblebee? You're not going to believe this, but I just saw the ghost of Optimus Prime, and he wants something from us. Oh, no! It's him. Oh, no! He's going to steal the energon candy. I thought you'd be more afraid that he'd kill us. Who cares if he kills us? We don't want him to steal the energon candy for the trick-or-treaters.
optimusnightwatch 4 months ago
emgo i dont really know what makes u laugh but am still trying
jesuscordoba30 4 months ago
MythoBot 4 months ago
MythoBot 4 months ago
(Mascot) Emgo I Cant Here you Its Dark in Here
MythoBot 4 months ago
You know what's really funny? How often people don't listen to rules when entering a contest.
torrentofinsanity 4 months ago
Love me some Creamy Filling......love Creamy Filling......
AutobotDrift 4 months ago
I am Starscreams Bitch he spanks me with his metal Rod....Rods...Rodimus?......
AutobotDrift 4 months ago
Elmo Wants Blood!!!!
AutobotDrift 4 months ago
If you look at both of the sides bumblebee look like hes touch rafs butt and jack looks at acree like really acree you had to be pink : D
TheDilla2012 4 months ago
About 3-ish years ago, my dad and I went to the movies. I forgot what movie we saw, but you'll hopefully understand when I tell you this story. It was winter and very cold. There was snow all over the parking lot of the theater. As we walked up to the theater we saw this empty wheelchair in an empty parking space. My dad immediately said "It must be really cold outside because whoever was in that wheelchair got up and walked home. I bet his family members shouted 'IT'S A MIRACLE!'." Very funny.
DeJuane1 4 months ago
Three men got shipwrecked on a deserted island. They went exploring one day and found a magical lamp. They rub the lamp and a Genie came out and said you have three wishes. The first man wish I was back home and the second man wished the same. The Genie ask the last man what is your wish, he said I sure am lonely I wish my friends were back here.
mastermaine28 4 months ago
Hey emgo316 i don't know did you have this awkward situation but i have it yesterday : i was in the market buying leader class sentinel prime and the seller asked is that for my son and i tell her that the toy is for me and the she start to laugh and that was very awkward :)
Jlikoful 4 months ago
what is a mega problem to the auto bots
MEGATRON!!!!!!!!!
wildjack64 4 months ago
How does a blind parachutist tell when the ground is close?
The leash on his guide dog goes slack.
pacord 4 months ago
Comment removed
wildjack64 4 months ago
Wives are magicians...They can turn anything into an argument
pacord 4 months ago
my little budgie jut broke its leg so i made him a splint with 2 swan vestas matches. u should have seen his little face light up when he started to walk
messey04 4 months ago
When you got to pay more attention to school: re-taking a math-final for the gazillionth time, and end up in the wrong exam room three times in a row. Now I aign't much of a funny guy but what must be said is that it is awesome for a great reviewer to pull something like this off, keep it going Emgo, an can't wait till your Prime reviews go up, since they are most likely not to appear yet AGAIN in Europe!
dragonnetstorm 4 months ago
To cope with my girlfriends cat terrorizing my dogs I give it nicknames. My top two are "Colon Kitty" for being under my feet and "Hippo-Kat-imus" just because she is fat as sin.
cakedup83 4 months ago
Do you know why there are no life on mars?
Because Chuck Norris went there before nasa
minotaur818 4 months ago
Q: George W. Bush is now under treatment for what two problems? A: Electile dysfunction and premature congratulation
minotaur818 4 months ago