Added: 5 years ago
From: JonnyRaz99
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  • no this is it......

    jack and jill went up the hill

    to fetch a pale of water

    jill forgot to take the pill

    and now they have a daughter..

  • John Hogarth WHAT AN EGG!

  • Ricky Gervais <3

    Genius

  • LOL... made me laugh hard... thanks for sharing this video... :)

  • insane!

  • i sen't them to mend an egg!

    ARE YOU MENTAL?!

  • GENIUS

  • one of the best most creative comedy bits of all time . if i ever met this man i would thank him personally for this bit alone. First time saw it was on shrooms or acid i dont really remember but i do remember crying of laughter on the floor.

  • I think the moral to humpty dumpty is that the one in charge can't fix everything

  • "How's the baby?"

    "It's an egg. Just an egg" lmao

  • Humpty Dumpty was a riddle. The answer was that he's an egg

  • @jossjoss40 humpty dumpty was actually a canon,not an egg

  • @mdnoorfairouz Type humpty dumpty into Google Images. He's an egg.

  • @RoytonValeAFC could be,but the rhyme doesnt explicitly says dat its an egg..throughout the ages scholars and others alike hv come up with ideas that maybe humpty dumpty was a thing,a person and what not but the most popular was that its an egg,sooooo...the truth is i dont know,we just hv to agree to disagree...

  • @tommyboy980

    LOL!

    i love seeing someone take the troll bait!!

  • oooooh the egg the egg

  • RICKY GERVAIS IS THEE FUNNIEST PERSON EVERRR(;

  • Watching this now on C4. PMSL!!

  • @bass109 Fag

  • @bass109 Fag

  • Comment removed

  • @bass109 Jesus Christ is not real. If he IS lord though, then he's the same as Allah, God, Buddha and any other God you can think of.

  • @tpstrat14 Jesus christ is real and you should make him you lord and savior. Repent to Jesus and pray daily to Jesus christ. You will meet Jesus someday so build your relationship with Jesus. God love you forever

  • @bass109 Now, you see, that's the kind of Christianity that is an influence for good in the world. Unfortunately, there is the opposite type, which you expressed earlier. You will do no good for the world by telling people to believe or persish. There is nothing to lose in this life, only everything to gain.

  • Comment removed

  • @bass109 Prosletyzing on a Ricky Gervais vid comment section? What a twat.

  • genius

  • I love the way he dresses.

  • "If your surname is Dumpty, DON'T CALL YOUR FIRST-BORN HUMPTY! How much of a stigma is that? For a boy that's ALREADY an egg, he'll have the piss ripped out of him! He probably jumped off that wall." XD Ricky Gervais = comedy genius

  • HE'S ALREADY AN EGG!

  • "if your ser name is Dumpty...don't call your first born Humpty!" Haha Ricky Gervais is definitly a comedy genius

  • @animerox1995 surname*

  • Humpty Dumpty was written about a cannon that fell from the battlements in my home town, Colchester.

  • @clownclown3 I've heard that theory. I also think that the "horses" were actually cavalry soldiers as opposed to foot soldiers ("The King's Men").

  • Well duh.

  • "It's obvious, they haven't got the dexterity!"

  • Well he's a writer, not a stand-up. That's why he repeats the same routine. It's great writing but he couldn't write this week in week out like a lot of comedians on the circuit do.

  • he did the same exact routine for hbo now im pissed

  • Yeah, I've seen him do the same stand up routine many different times.

  • Anyone who's ever mended an egg, knows you'd never get an needle through the shell, you'd use glue, of course. So, definately, the horses would be able to lend a hoof, so to speak..

  • Comedian Gary Gulman stole this joke from Ricky Gervais

  • "Probably jumped off the wall" rofl

  • LOL "If i had to design a perfect egg-crushing device, it would be a HOOF"... OMG almost shit my pants

  • Lol favorite parts were when he was like

    " i sent them to mend an egg"

    "Are you fucking mental!??"

    And

    "here read this"

    "fuck...."

  • DON'T SIT ON A WALL IF YOUR AN EGG PEOPLE !!!! Hahahaha

  • i thought it meant hat too

  • @jellybobish haha me too!

  • oh my gosh i love ricky gervais XD <3

  • Still funny

  • LOVE THIS ITS SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!! Even after a few months.

  • are you fucking mental ?

  • It was Lewis Caroll that made him an egg in Through the Looking Glass (the sequel to Alice in Wonderland)

  • humpty dumpty was actualy a famous cannon that fell off a castle and shattered, but dont how it came to be known as an egg

  • WRONG! That's actually some shit someone made up.

  • I never even thought about that, how do we even know that humpty dumpty was an egg? Did the first person that wrote the story about him also illustrate it, or was he in other stories at the time that mentioned he was an egg? Or did recent illustrators just decide to cast him as an egg?

    Because if he had originally been a human, falling apart into different pieces would have probably been too gory for a children's tale.

  • bryguy95:

    After I saw this a while ago I went and looked it up, and what I found was that apparently the Humpty Dumpty rhyme was a riddle, and the answer to the riddle was that Humpty Dumpty was an egg. (I guess without the trappings it's: "Item A fell off a wall.  The most powerful forces of man could not put it together again. What is Item A?- An egg.")

  • Humpty Dumpty is (surprisingly) the story of a massive Royalist arterilly piece in the English Civil war. they put the gun up in a tower. tower collasped gun broke up, the Kings men couldnt put it together again.

  • @marinoshulagreise: i heard the same thing

  • or thats what i heard anyway

  • dont fuck around with sluts or you'll get your head caved in.

  • My stomach hurts and I have tears in my eyes. So hilarious!

  • ' certainly don't send all of them....its gonna be chaos '

    i love his face at 2:49 he looks so worried and disturbed!

    Gervais is amazing. Saw his Science tour at Portsmouth a few nights ago, cracking evening- he was on top form.

  • wow didnt know he was doing another tour!

  • Lmao his face at 1:15 "fuck.." was classic, such a funny little extra bit he threw in.

  • 1:14 rather.

  • probably jumped off the wall

  • Ricky Gervais

  • Comment removed

  • Where in the rhyme do they mention that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

  • pictorial evidence.

  • 'look read that,' (looks up) ' fuck'

    so good

  • Comment removed

  • "it's just an egg"

  • drinking carling eh ricky//// ouch.

  • LOL Humpty Dumpty committed suicide off the wall and got his shit ruined by the king's horses...

  • This is probably my favourite comedy piece ever. Ever, ever, ever.

    xDD

  • "I'd go once right, there was an egg that could climb walls."

    Funniest man in the world <3 <3 <3

  • "HE'S ALREADY AN EGG!"

  • pure genius, only gervais wud point stuff like dat out LOL

  • never laughed like that. never never never. its the funniest bloody shit on heart.

    what if french are comin? where are the horses? What? i send them 2 mend an egg.. R U MENTAL? R U MENTAL?

    totally hilarious, totally genious

  • "he probably jumped off the wall"

    oh man.. i laughed so loud, the entire lounge was looking at me

  • "He probably jumped off the wall"!!!! LOL XD!!!!

  • wtf

  • Piss off.

  • Oh My God! I'm almost crying with laughter!!

    But there's a thought, if you actually sing the rhyme about humpty dumpty, nothing is actually mentioned about him being an egg. o__o Nursery rhymes are fucked up...o__O;;

    But omg! this vid is brilliant! Pure genious! xD thanks for uploading! 8D

  • genius even...

  • Aye, sorry for the typo! Thanks! :3

  • wtf is up with this jew hater the whole fucking quran is bullshit.

  • Omg you freak...what are you on about..."satan commands the wicked to torture their children" etc etc

    Why are you saying that as if it as fact? As if to say "look see, it says it here so you are wrong to do it". Fucking hell man, it could say the exact opposite thing in some other religion, and they would have an equally pathetic basis to argue their opinion. Use your brain dude, yes we are a smart spieces, and it saddens me to see 'smart' people with such a strange blind belief.

  • "Once right, there was an egg that could climb walls!!"

    ahahahahahaha

  • hahahahahahha oh my god..that was too funny. "dont sit on a wall if your an egg" AHHAHAHAHAHA

  • "Don't fuck around with sluts or get your head caved in"

    too true too true LOL

  • You're a moron. Still to Al Murray...

  • What's Al Murray got to do with what I said?

  • isn't this the guy on grand theft auto IV

    he sounds a lot like him

  • yepp. He did Stand up at the Split Sides

  • Ricky Gervais was indeed featured in GTA4.

  • I'm sorry, it's a bit lame question. I'm not English or American, I only learn English in the school, and I understand the whole video, except one sentence. And that's after he says: "Jack and Jill went up the hill to fatch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown...". And here comes that sentence. Can someone write it down to me?:-D Thanks a lot.

  • "which i later learned meant his cranium. I just thought his hat fell off or something. And Jill came tumbling after."

  • Thank you very much!:-D

  • ..and jill came tumbling after?

  • "If I had to design a perfect egg-crushing device, it would be a hoof"

    LOL

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  • I dont understand why people would take their time to watch something just to complain. Some people must have really sad boring lives.

    Ricky Gervais is a God. (For the record)

  • @rdautenhahn I agree !!

  • jealousy makes you a little man

  • Well he seems to be making people laugh... unlike you

  • get a life

    why did u watch this if u dont even like ricky gervais??

  • oh F off he is funny a fOck and fable or rhyme not a fail

  • oh yeah thanks,u've made me realise the whole sketch isnt funny... oh wait

  • what kind of twat writes that comment??fuck off and get a sense of humour you boring cunt.

  • oh shoot, and i laughed and everything...if only i KNEW!

  • You hate him? So why are you watching his videos you sad little cunt.

  • yes, follow the crowd, cause if you don't love ricky gervais like everyone else on earth the thought police are going to smash down your door and shove rats in your eyes. Seriously, is it that hard to accept that no one cares about your opinion?

  • So I'm a sheep for not caring what you think? You're contradicting yourself my friend

  • why the FUCK does it make him a sheep if he is the one who watches videos that he ENJOYS rather than watching videos so he can complain so that that little interaction will waste a little more of his useless existence. its called YOUtube, YOU can watch what you want, stop complaining!

  • what kind of a sad little cunt picks up on stuff like that? Its comedy you dick not a documentary about fables.

  • are you mental are you fucking mental! lol..

    dont get on a wall if your an egg!!

    he probly jumped off the wall lol.. those 3 made me laugh so much!

  • humpty dumpty was a cannon!!! it was sat on a hill in colchester

  • ...did it fall off?

  • i reckon

  • Dont normally like ricky gervais but this is pretty funny!!

  • Yeah, we'll do that. Then we will spend all looking up 9/11 conspiracies at work.

    FUCK YOU ASSCLOWN.

  • humpty dumpty is actually spose to be a riddle, everyone nowadays knows he's an egg but if you listen carefully that part is never actually said, you were spose to guess what he was.

  • I looked this guy up cuz people were saying on a Frankie Boyle vid that this guy's better. He had me belly laughing with tears in my eyes for half an hour after the video ended!

  • No no.  The horses were made into glue obviously.

    8^)

  • Comment removed

  • The rhyme does not actually state that Humpty Dumpty is an egg. In its first full printed form in 1810, the rhyme is posed as a riddle and exploits for misdirection the fact that "humpty dumpty" was also eighteeth-century reduplicative slang for a short and clumsy person; the riddle being that, whereas a clumsy person falling off a wall would not be irreparably damaged, an egg would be.[1] The rhyme is no longer posed as a riddle, since the answer is now so well known.

  • I heard though, that during a recent archeological dig at the north pole, a version of the riddle dating back to 150B.C. was found, in wich Humpty Dumpty is described as an alien lifeform that crashlanded on earth.

  • Humoty dumpty is actually a cannon from the siege of colchester, it was up high and shot sown, hence humpty dumpty had a great fall.

  • I bet you're a riot at partys.

  • Hahaha..youtube comments rarely make me laugh like i did

  • shut the fuck up its funny.

  • I just copied it from wiki. Who knows the real reason, maybe it is just: don't sit on a wall if you're an egg.

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  • 'dont sit on there if your an egg' Fuck!

    mint

  • "they don't have the dexterity"

  • ha ha ha ha poor egg.

  • so good

  • hahahahaha. ricky is amazinggggggg.

  • Que esta? No se.

  • what its the egg

  • 'Dnt sit on a wall if ur an egg'

    Lmao

  • 'know one' or 'no one' ? And George who? Burns? Bit sill trying to compare stand-up comnedians since they all specialise in different genres and are good/bad in their own way. Originality and delivery are key.

  • now poor jack and jill all they wanted was a good time being together and got there head caved in! ha ha ha haha ha ha now thats what i say

  • if i was to desighn a perfect egg crushing device.

    "It would be a hoof"!

    lol

  • with me when i heard it i slapped my hand on my knee so hard i cryed with pain and laughter ha ha ha

  • lol very funny thanks for the share Countrygurl1975

  • when i first heard this i was laughing so hard it was ac tually painful and i started to get scared then he started saying all that shit about if your son was an egg dont call him humpty and i swear i thought i was gonna die lol

  • hilarious

  • well carlin is funny but i still love ricky he is the best hands down. i mean ricky is the number one and like i said before if you dont like ricky then you dont need to see him

  • ya its just your opinion but personally i think he is funnier then any other actor on this earth and you can like who you like an ricky gervais fans can like him.

  • Now I'm not arguing that Gervais is lame, but Dane Cook and Jeff Dunham?! When has ventriloquism EVER been funny? Please, watch a real comedian: George Carlin.

  • Oh mannnn.... George Carlin would cry if read that. He had respect for anyone who could get up on the stage, and so should you.

  • Yes, shame on you. George and Ricky are entirely different styles of comedian. Like comparing a singer with a painter. Comedy comes down to one's individual sense of humour once you're above a certain level of originality and delivery.

  • Wow man! your critical knowledge knows no boundaries!! I wish I was as clever as you!! If I was gay I would be with you so you could educate me haha :-)

  • If you are not gay, why did you make overtures toward me and, having been rebuffed, now obsessively stalk me all over the web? The only education you need is a few sessions with a good psychiatrist, mate.