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From: darknlooking
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  • obviously taking the bible literally sounds funny... maybe one day there will be a book about talking monky's.... ;)

  • fuck god. fuck jesus. love your friends. love your family. live your life free of restrictions.

  • Funny man..but horrible understanding of the Bible. Just to clear things up, God created everything with the knowledge that we would one day ruin His creation. God is love, He cannot deviate from that nature (when you hear ppl ask well can God sin? the answer is no because that is not apart of His nature). You've often heard ppl say, if you love something set it free, right? well that's exactly what God did with His creation, because that's what love is about.

    Most of you can connect the dots

  • @fenderplayer1100 its a comedy bit. Calm down.

  • god is love? god is an idea. love is an emotion...but you can connect the dots right?

  • @Kh4yl i guess we can all just say things and expect them to be true can't we? you have your reality and i have mine. since none of us were there at the beginning of time you cannot tell me what is and what isn't. just look at the news..a simple tooth caused so much excitement in the scientific community that brought some to question the "out of africa" theory. i can't leave this earth knowing that my truth can change so drastically that i'd be looked at as primitive..like Darwinistic evolution

  • @fenderplayer1100

    Just to clear things up, there is no God or gods.

  • @fenderplayer1100 It's humorous that you claimed God is love even though he will ruin everything he created. Why create us in the first place? Just to destroy us many millenia later? Also, there is only one reality. You can say everyone has their own OPINION, but never their own reality. You can't claim that no one knows what happened because no one was there, and yet be certain that God created everything.

    To answer your question, yes God can sin (1 Samuel 15: the genocide of Amalek).

  • What i honestly would like to know, not having read more than five pages of the Bible without comparing it to Humpty Dumpty, is who was present to give a first or second hand account of the making of the Universe? Did Jesus mention it at all?

    Or.... or.... did someone just make it up?

  • @mrface19

    ...Made up by bronze age sheep-herders that thought the earth was flat.

  • This man is one of the best comedians of this era. The snake's punishment bit qualifies this claim, in my opinion.

  • okay I consider myself a christian (although I do believe the bible is not 100%-if it is then I'll find out one day lol) but that snake part made my day. 

  • lmao eve was more interested in the apple & the serpent being the shape of a man's you know what

    then adam's junk!

  • Where can I watch ALL of the creationism lecture?

  • @bundleHastings

    you can listen to dan barker on youtube

  • it does NOT say apple in the bible, gosh i hate when religion mixes in with scripture!

  • he skimed over my favorite part...when the serpent changes gods words around to trick eve!!!

    wowo most non christian never notice that1

  • @SakuraSymphony the serpent didn't changed anything. It asked about a rumour it heard.

  • Yeah now ^^

  • Love this job, talk to people while I'm drinking some beer ...

    He is a genious !

  • Yes... I did piss myself a wee bit. *snicker*

  • good one !

  • omg, i practically died from laughter! xD

  • "I wish I could fly like normal!" That made me laugh for about ten minutes :)

  • this is hillarious lol hahaha

  • "I'm crap in bed but at least i have bad breath"

  • It's not fair, the bible is funny all by itself.

  • I think Yahweh just made the snake to have an excuse to punish.

    He is a sadist.

    We all know that.

  • 'back off, he's got a twizzer'

    lol

  • Doing comedy with this material is like cheating.

  • i know cause it's so funny on it's own

  • lmao.

  • @JimmyCueBalls If it's funny, who the fuck cares?

  • God goes mental...ahahahahaha. This always makes me piss myself.

  • now if everyone taught the bible like this then there would be no christians

  • God STOPPED people from doing bad things?! He ENABLED them! It's the ultimate excuse to do anything at all, you assume ultimate authority with god on your side.

  • I find that very condescending towards 'many people'. Nobody needs God, they're just being raised with a need for him.

    And really, religion is always used as a form of authority, the highest authority, to justify any actions, especially wars.

    The Brits where convinced God protected the UK, while 'God Sind Mit Uns' could be read on the SS belt buckles.

    If people would just stop think that they're serving for the ultimate good, the world would be a much wiser and more peaceful place indeed.

  • Comment removed

  • When examples like Hitler and Stalin are being used, they often are dismissed as being mere individuals who did evil deeds. But that's false, they wouldn't be in the position to do such evil things if it wasn't for whole populations backing them up.

    And that's where I'm pointing to. Religion teaches people to take something as true without evidence and act on that. That's how it enables leaders to motivate masses to do the most horrible acts.

  • And if you don't believe the belt buckle thing. Simply google 'nazi belt buckle' and click on 'pictures'.

    But maybe you don't want to, maybe it's too wrong for you to be right.

  • Im sorry because of the buckle

    Hitler didnt want to have religion in his state, but he wasnt able to extinguish it.He even was affirmed by the pope.

    BUT dont you think,that christian religion learned its lesson?

    Yeah in America it is really stupid what you do. Forbidding Darwin in classes because some idiots say, they dont want to believe it and fighting a war in the name of God,but always saying how good you can separate state and religion.

    But that doesnt count for everyone who hopes for more

  • You're wrong on Hitler again.

    Or to quote him:

    "We were convinced that the people needs and requires this faith. We have therefore undertaken the fight against the atheistic movement, and that not merely with a few theoretical declarations: we have stamped it out.

    ( Adolf Hitler, in a speech delivered in Berlin, October 24, 1933. )

    And no, I do not think the religion has learned it's lesson.

  • Comment removed

  • OK STOP the whole Hitler-thing... I was wron you were right. I deserve negative votes on that. Hitlers romantic views of the ancient Germany with christian backround (16th century) was his basic idea that declared Arish(don't know the english term) Ideology worth more than everything else in the world.

    I know more about that now. We can stop this stupid nonsense...

  • I'm sorry, I didn't want to cause any comotion. I apologize, I was just agreeing with BaileysBeads. Truce. :)

  • Comment removed

  • And you're god, then? You're acting like it. Surely, one would listen to you, seeing as how you're randomly insulting the people you're adressing. Dare I say, you really wasted your time? Oh yeah. You did.

    I'm going to give you a treat and do something I pretty much never do, and I certainly don't condone. But you deserve it. Here: Fuck off.

  • Hey. I wasn't in this discussion. I was just watching the funny man go about his funny business, and I glanced down at the comments and saw you shouting your lungs off. See, I didn't exactly have a hard time ignoring the conversation below. But your message stood out to be as pointless and offensive, so I took the time to reply.

    I've spent maybe a total of one minute typing comments for this video. I'm not wasting much time.

  • agreed artmania

  • @randomjoe333333 One can dream...

  • i dont get why he doesn't mention phil collins, i thought phil collins was the main vocalist in genesis did he talk about him or peter gabriel in part 1 of this genesis lecture ?

  • Thats because Phil Collins wasnt born when God created the universe 6000 years ago.

  • Lmao...

  • are you sure about that?

  • @darknlooking Shit! That blows my faith in Phil Collins! Damn. Now I have to pray to another musical god... Maybe Dio? :P

  • @darknlooking hahahahahaha.... 6000 years ago... wow your dumb

  • @TOCDistribution It's 'You're' dumb...

  • @darknlooking I don't see how you can be so dogmatic about Phil Collins not being there 6000 years ago? Where is your evidence that he was not?

  • @tallscarab

    He mentioned him.

    Phil Collins is the blabbing snake.

  • well al i can say is Canada is a much nicer place of the world which is not run by a wack job leader and a bunch of arse kissing money grabbing Jews (not implying that all jews are bad just saying it is alarming how many corporate arseholes r red sea padestrians)

  • That's a load of bullshit and I live in the country...what you mentioned (except for the jews part) IS TRUE!

  • How could you not believe in a talking snake with legs?

  • hahaha University of Alabama...It's so sad that they lack basic standards to form a university in your country.  If you came to Canada or any other part of the Western world with your stupid ity of the Bible being literally true you'd be laughed out of the room. "Flintstones meet the Flintstones"

  • He is funny. But yes, practically anyone can make fun of the bible. It's comical idiocy is quite blatant.

  • Ok you do it for a 45 minute set infront of 1500 - 2000 strangers. Then tell me "practically anyone" can make fun of the bible.

  • Ok. Give us a few bits of your material.

  • Alabama huh? Nuff said.

  • yeah, but americans' sense of humour is pathetic

  • im a devout christian and i found this very funny id say i have a good sense of humor man

  • Usually, comedy comes after the critical thinking. Laughing at what we now see as really stupid. Also, the delivery is really good.

  • not all by any means - and dont forget we put out some awful comedy -

    2 pints of larger

    the krankies

    ................ just awful awful awful -

  • 2 pints is brilliant. Very low brow, but it's good for what it is.

  • but so few do. that's the point. i happen to think it's hilarious. i know it probably makes fun of your religious beliefs...but that's just because those beliefs are rather funny. sorry to offend but it is true.

  • oh just shut up and laugh!

  • you are all bored...enjoy the comedy..

  • If god created man in his image than we posses all the characteristics of god. Perhaps god saved all the good things for himself. Why would god put people on Earth knowing they would fail? Do we let a child run around without supervision?

  • .....funny

  • You are completely wacko!

  • I said it once, I'll say it again. You are completely WACKO!

  • I think around 200,000 BC we also took on the shape of an elephant/giraffe so we could eat leaves and drink water just by standing in one spot. I believe Luke wrote about it in his gospel.

  • you need him for understanding those things which you don't believe the laws will explain, such as consciousness, or why you only live to a certain length of time- life and death- stuff like that. God is always associated with those things that you do not understand. Therefore I don't think that the laws can be considered to be like God because they have been figured out. -Richard Feynman

  • God was invented to explain mystery. God is always invented to explain those things that you do not understand. Now, when you finally discover how something works, you get some laws which you're taking away from God; you don't need him anymore. But you need him for the other mysteries. So therefore you leave him to create the universe because we haven't figured that out yet;

  • Thats because he doesnt want to die. Simple. Just because today's christians are a litte less violent than muslims, doesnt mean their religion is "truer" than islam. Being an atheist he doesnt want to put his only life he'll ever get in danger. I dont see your point. I'm sure you'll explain yourself in great detail soon. Thanks.

  • Genesis is in the Qur'an too.

  • @alias1689 What's the point when he can knock them all down with one stone?

  • @alias1689 Maybe he's an ex-Christian and knows more about The Bible than he does about the Quran? I would personally shit on the Quran, because I am an ex-Muslim and know more about it than Christianity/Judaism.

  • Brisks.

    I don't know what your trying to do here. What does that comment have to do with the video in question? It's comedy, I think you need to stop thinking that this is a science lesson.

  • I just dont agree with people that are so closed minded that they want to silence the people that dont agree with them. Kind of like what the Islamic terrorists do, don't you think? They want to get rid of anyone that opposes their views. The athiest movement is moving in this direction. Listen to how they devalue mthose that oppose them even saying that the world would be better without Religious people. Kind of like terrorists that want to silence those that oppose them.

  • Which is harder to blieve??? God created us from the DNA of Adam or.. We were once amebas floating in the ocean then we turned into a fishy then we grew arms and legs and crawled up on land like a fishy with arms then we turned into something between a fishy with legs and an ape then we turned into an ape then we turned into man. LOL hmmm Scientists arent always right. darknlooking blocks you if you dont agree with his views and pat him on the back.. What a wimp.. soo bye bye

  • if you are a faithful follower of the bible, i suggest you don't try and discredit the theory of evaluation by implying that its irrational. maybe you should remind yourself, that you believe, that a 600 year old man built an arch, a couple of acts of incest created the entire human race, and a jolly bearded fellow, who, lets be honest, in most depictions bears a striking resemblance to Santa, lives in the sky and hears everything you say.

  • ninjastevil.. So who did the first evolved men mate with? Do you realize that some scientists say that the earth is spinning slower than it did at first? This could mean that men were older according to how fast the earth spins. By the way, God is not man he is spirit and no one has seen his face.

  • ninjastevil ...Did you know that you have electrical energy inside of you and energy does not just disappear it goes somewhere else when you die. Do you believe that you are made up of atoms with with protons neutrons and electrons circling about? Maybe this was the best way to describe spirit in that time period. The Bible speaks symbolically on many occasions. Example: lamb = Jesus

  • Don't try and use science to justify the existence of the soul if you don't understand it. All atoms are balanced they have a neutral charge because there are the same amount of protons as electrons. Unless they becme Ionised, but if that happens you die.

    The only electrical charge you have in your body is for your nervous system and that is a very little ammount of energy which is transfered to the bugs that eat you once you die.

  • i love ricky gervais i will do anything he does now i know hes an atheist i guess im an atheist he is the best i love him and miss him.

  • why dont all of you just go to a religious chat room and duke it out there where it's appropriate... this is comedy- get over yourselves.

  • that was beautiful

  • i would rather beleive the lord of the rings books than the bible. the bible is shit and for retards that beleive that a man in the sky created everythin

  • The best line 'I wish I could fly like normal'

  • Ricky is great.

  • mrsnakes; "I have all the answers, God supplies them through the Bible". hughjarrse and every other skeptic here, Do you really feel the need to keep arguing with this guy?

  • not arguing discussing, you say you have all the answers, I have one question for you, What did God make the heavens and the Earth out of? you tell me Adam was made from dirt, and Eve was made out of Adams rib

  • I think you got the wrong idea, I dont believe in God and I was implying that mrsnakes is a moron. Anyone who says "I have all the answers, God supplies them through the Bible" in my opinion is a little nutty. I'm the guy who posted this video :)

  • I guess Atheists live in hope. ;)

  • God never created man, rather that Man created God and the only reason he did so was to explain things that science could not. The more science can explain things to us the more redundant religion becomes until eventually there is nothing left for it. This is why people cling on to the creation of life and the universe, because we can't yet fully explain it. Science IS the new religion, just a tool to explain the world we live in

  • So wait, let me get this straight. Your saying science is a religion? Your saying science dosent explain everthing but your still putting your trust in it? Well then why do you think Im so stupid? I have all the answers, God supplies them through the Bible. You just keep hoping that science will someday give you an answer.

  • Science probably doesn't even scratch the surface, but the Bible is "bronze age" Harry Potter, it give no answers whatsoever, what it gives is comfort to the "faithful" I have no problem with that

  • The bible does not have all the answers. If you take the bible as undisputed truth than why aren't you killing homosexuals? You have to rationalize away such garbage. Like believing in santa claus. You have to believe all the lies to support your beliefs.

  • Marty is right, at least to an extent. Religion has been around for a while BUT 2000 years ago there was no such thing as modern day science so to explain things that scared and astounded them, someone said that God had created it. That being said who can tell if God really exists or not? No one can prove it and no one can dissprove it, you just have to wait till you die. If you go to heaven or hell, you know God exists, if he doesnts then you have no conciousness anymore so it wont matter.

  • Most humans like to feel in control of their surroundings, its why we invent superstitions - to fool ourselves into believing we can avoid bad luck and bring good luck.

    Religion is simply a sophisticated extension of that principle. When your crops fail due to freak weather (and you live 6000 years ago) why not buy into the local shaman who claims he can control the weather, all he requests is occasional worship of his god.

  • This guy is ridiculous. Any topic discussed with such sarcasim and disrespect of subject matter could sound foolish. Including and especially evolution.

  • ever heard of the "Back Button"? If you dont like it, dont watch it :)

  • Hey calm down, creationists have lampooned Evolutionists for far longer, does "The Monkey Song" ring any bells? life is about progression, when your a child you believe in the Tooth Fairy,Santa,Elves and stuff like that, but as you get wiser you dismiss it as junk, I guess Evolutionists and scientists are just less naive than creationists

  • well excuse me, I had no idea you were so intellectually above my level.

  • If I tell you that water boils above 100 degrees you can say "how do you know" I can say because it says so in this science book! you can then say "why should I believe a book" and I will say, Ok lets get a thermometer a pan of water and a source of heat and see what happens when it reaches 100 degrees, I can prove what I first stated. Christianity has the book but no proof,. there are some people who don't wish to use the brain that evolution has given them and state ."the book is the proof".

  • I think evolution is your god. "Evolution has given me a brain" according to you. Does evolution think? Does it have a plan? Sounds like you've found yourself a god. Evolution is a bunch of theories. When one theory fails, you make up a new ones. It used to be the big bang, now its punctuated equalibrium. The Bible never changes and never ever needs to be corrected.

  • My belief in evolution is a based on overwhelming evidence, Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, Berkeley all universities with global recognition for excellence pretty much treat creationism as myth (although I believe there is some historical value in the Bible) To suggest Evolution is my God is a bit strange? I don't dress up in funny clothes, or have any parts of my body removed as a sign of my Evolutionary beliefs! No "real" scientists believes in creationism, that why you have Liberty University

  • What evidence? Tell me something that is more than a theory.

  • You say the Bible "never" changes, so when did you last stone someone to death for working on a sunday? Exodus 35:2 (I think)

  • Christians believe in forgivness and mercey, everyone should be shown love and forgivness. That stoning law was written to the Jews while they were wondering in the desert. If you read in the new testement Jesus, who is God, stops people from stoning the sinners. We are all equally sinnful.

  • There is not even a shred of evidence (outside of the Bible) to say the Jewish slaves roamed the desert (for 40yrs) also if the universe is only 6,000yrs old why are most stars and galaxy's more than 6,000 light years away? Ahh! but your going to say they're not, so when scientists use light speed to make your television, telephone, radio work, your happy to accept it (the internet) but when the same logic is used to measure distance your not, just because it contradicts a "bronze age" book

  • why dont you ever answer questions? I answer my questions all the time. You keep changing the subject. Yes, there is evidence about the Jew in the desert. And dont tell me what Im going to say. There is no doubt that the universe is vast. I have no idea how that disproves God to you. I never said 6000 years, we have no idea how long Adam was in the garden. It could have been a very long time.

  • Evidence for evolution: Humans have a coxis (residual tail) we have toe nails (that as far as I can see serve no purpose in humans) the appendix is superfluous in modern humans, why are all early foetuses female? why do snakes have residual legs? human females all menstruate at the same time if left together long enough?... sorry but most people who study "the good book" get it to around 6,000yrs, but they would have to have lived in the garden around 15 billion yrs before they had Kane and Able

  • Your very smart, but you overcomplicate things. Why cant that be just the way we were created? Why cant our toe nails just be there because we need them when we have an itch. As far as the tail thing, Ive never seen a fossil skeleton or anything where a human has had a tail. I could go on about the other things but this can only be "500 characters."

    And I have no reason to think they were here for that long at all.

  • Sorry if you think Im being smart (I'm actually dyslexic, and have to use spell check) Apes don't have tails, monkeys do, although both share DNA from an ancient and common ancestor that probably had a tail, the tail could well have disappeared long before anything that could be mistaken for a human had evolved so the "missing link" "holy grail" hasn't shown up, if Man, woman, animals and plants were all made from different things (dust, ribs,etc.) how come all have similar DNA? 500 is too short

  • When I said you were smart I was actually just complimenting you, I meant the intelligent kind of smart. Human DNA may be similiar to other mammals, but we are clearly very different. I've never seen monkeys do trigonometry or go to the moon. Hughjarrse, if I told you that a tornado went through a junkyard and randomy assembled a fully functional 747 jet, would you believe that?

  • If a tornado assembled a fully functional 747 it would be the greatest thing for creationists, as an inanimate non organic (for the most part) entity it can't evolve so it "requires" a creator (not usually tornados) so for one to appear over night would be powerful augment for God! but thats an extreme analogy of evolution, Even if you believe in God the he doesn't produce fully formed man! egg, sperm, cell, embryo, baby, child, man. overwhelming odds is the worst argument against evolution

  • The atomic structures of many inanimate objects are very complex. How do you suppose the got here?

  • That's way above my head.., it's like me asking you were God came from? If you believe, as I do, that the universe started out extremely hot, you could have the analogy of Hot steam cooling down and forming drops of water, in that case you have structure formed from non structure just by the physical act of cooling.

  • I dont believe that that the universe started out extreamly hot. I dont believe there was steam or anything. Saying that the was leads to the question, where did it come from? Before the "big bag," what was there? If there was something, where did it come from? Matter does not just materialize.

  • it was an analogy, of course there was no steam in the big bang, I was trying to illustrate the form from no form problem,.. ."Matter does not just materialize" you believe exactly that, it was "spoken" into existence

  • Oh! and for the record, I don't think your stupid at all, I simply disagree with you

  • "Why cant that be just the way we were created?" Because it would be stupid design - and hence not God.

    For example, an octopuses eye has blood vessels and nerve connections on the back of the retina - thus no blind spot and no weakening of the image. Makes sense doesnt it? A logical way to construct the eye.

    It just plain bad design to put the nerves and blood vessels on the inside of the retina.

  • if it was just adam and eve when it was first "created" and after she bore 2 sons the first time then wouldnt they had to have had sex with there mothers to reproduce and even if they didnt have sex with her we would have died off cause there's no way 2 men can have sex and make babies ALSO if it was just those to it would be including such "sinful" things as incest and homosexuality still resolving in the death of all man kind

  • what lies christians dont belive in forgivness at all thats why the created hell its to punish those who dont belive and those who "sin"

  • "When one theory fails, you make up a new ones. It used to be the big bang, now its punctuated equalibrium."

    How those two ideas relate to one another is beyond me... or maybe you havent a clue what youre talking about. Since when has the big bang had anything to do with evolution?

    "The Bible never changes and never ever needs to be corrected."

    No because youll always hold dear to your senseless faith, thats why.

  • Uh thats a lie the bible has changed the origial version and the king james version are different

  • ... and you probably never will.

  • Well maybe the religious caracture of evolution but I doubt anyone could read from origin of the species and come up with such good material.

  • Dunno about you but I use my fingernails to get rid of an itch not my toenails.

  • "Dunno about you but I use my fingernails to get rid of an itch not my toenails." Wow you've managed to disprove all of evolutionary theory in one sentence! You found the one flaw in the evolution argument! How will science answer that little problem eh? I don't use my toe nails to sratch in itch so evolution is obviously wrong. My life and everything I thought was real is collapsing around me!

  • No, you see if God created everything for a purpose, the toenails would have a point to them. At present (due to the speed of human social evolution) they do not - just like the human appendix. They are unnecessary.

  • LoL

  • Real good stuff!

  • Man this is great, thanks for putting it up!

  • Excellent find.

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