Big Train Church of Science sketch

[sputnik4134]

the second part is missing where the bearded guy shoots another guy and says wats going on lol

[yinge101]

SPACEOLOGY

[MrAmritasya]

Why're everyone talking about christianity? This is about the Church of Scientology, hence "Church of Science"

[0joe]

I saw another clip about the church of scientology, and there was also another long barren debate started, lol, about sum contentious subject... which deterred any further posts specifically about the CoS.

Makes you wonder if they are anal, self-indulgent excutives who worry about losing their salaries, if they find someone creating anti-CoS content, that they cant convincing refute.

[zilbiol]

It's obviously political bias when you claim the bible shouldn't be treated objectively as a historical source. When historians look at the tomb paintings of Ramses II they don't believe he really was 50 feet tall and conversed with the gods or claim it's a forgery and Ramses II never existed, they read between the lines and assume he was a religious authority, the same should be done with the bible.

[innergogo]

@zilbiol But historians don't take the tomb paintings of Ramses II as an objective, historical source. You just said so yourself.

Historians look at multiple sources to determine historicity. What the bible presents as history needs to be corroborated by other sources. Most of it isn't.

That's not "political bias". The observation that the bible isn't historically very accurate was first made by believers who were trying to corroborate what the bible says and were dismayed when they couldn't.

[agmr1256]

i dont understand any of it. can someone please explain this skit to me? thanks.

[slytown]

I don't think I've watched the whole second series. I have to now. That was awesome.

[Danster547]

THIS is why I carry pepper spray... lol jk

[LoafOfPint]

People realise that Jesus didn't actually exist, right? The mythic character of Jesus was loosely - as in almost barely at all - based on some guy called Yeshua who just went around proclaiming love and democracy, and was crucified for it. The shit about him healing the sick, being born of a virgin and being resurrected are all well-established astrological allegories that are found in almost all ancient religions.

As for the sketch, I've seen better, but I loved Mark Heap's voice at the end.

[charlyandjosh]

@LoafOfPint "People realise that Jesus didn't actually exist, right?"

Biblical scholars and historians would almost universally disagree with that, but, hey, if that's your belief, it's your choice.

[satanicrawrofdoom]

last time i checked i was watching a comedy sketch, nothing about religious debates. please, keep the comments relevant and don't make anyone feel uncomfortable.

[davechristiemiller]

'nothing about religious debates says' @satanicrawrofdoom .. haha just joking man..

[slightlyodd999]

omg reminds me of the time the scientologists grabbed me off the street and made me hold some metal things then kept asking me if I was stressed!

[zegroovatron]

who gives a shit to religion!? lets all watch big train the real bloody god!

[YouSuckPeriod]

Yes folks, this is scientologists actually believe.

[Audioepics]

First of all, this sketch is hilarious. Secondly, humour should be something fun that brings people together. Can't we leave the endless bickering about religion for some other place and time? And thirdly, I'm so terribly sick of people using condescending and aggressive language who have no respect for other people's viewpoints, no matter what your opinion is. Learn some humility, no one has all the answers and what rings true for one person may not seem right to another. Quit the arrogance!

[revilo314]

Easy advertisement for 3663 food delivery right there!

[123456yum123456]

I'll now be too scared to ever take a personality questionnaire.

[coljac]

Where's the follow up sketch about the questionnaire? "How about this question - do you own or rent?"

[Atvishees]

where's the point? or joke?

[namiecat]

haha" poor him!

[LighthawkForce]

You can watch full episodes of this series on my channel! I love big train.

[Sonicmountain09]

Ha ha ha

[BuddahUK]

I love Mark Heap's weedy little voice at the end "Noo" LOL!

[flankspeed]

I bet Katie Holmes wishes she'd seen this...

[Aheadstix85]

What year is it 2009?, well?, and it A.D. which mans after death! meaning his death was such a big deal the Romans started recording history after they hung him up which means he must have existed! hes in the History books man!, you cant argue with facts!

[ianclivewright]

No, the Romans started recording it hundreds of years after his death, when Rome became a Christian empire. When or if he died, no one took much notice, except for some bizarre cult called Christianity.

You can't rely on the history as made up by the credulous and stupid. It's like in 2000 years Michael Jackson is the new Christ, because his fans just went on about it for a few hundred years.

Rome just recorded they'd killed someone, they didn't care who.

Really, I depair.

[SpiroEx]

@ianclivewright You depair? Is that splitting things up?

I was going to point out that there was plenty of evidence Gospels were written in Greek within the first century and that the Romans simply collated an earlier work but it's much more fun making fun of your spelling, plus I'd have to agree what the heck does this have to do with the frankly hilarious video?

[TboneWillsone]

@ianclivewright There are records of the Christian movement, and these records talk about christianity in the eyes of the pre-christian roman empire. They refer to christianity much like a revolutionary movement, with Jesus essentially being a comparable character to Che Guavara. The reason why it was so hard to eradicate and suppress was because the higher classes of roman society got converted, and were often fanatical believers. And the romans did what they do best, they assimilated it.

[radbarij]

@TboneWillsone Indeed. I can recommend the book "Constantine's Sword" if you're into this sort of thing. Of course, there is considerable doubt over the "historical Jesus" that the faithful like to bandy about... I can recommend "The Incredible Shrinking Son of Man" for a scholarly overview of that whole thing.

[TboneWillsone]

@radbarij :D Cheers for the recommendation, I will definitely look into buying that book, it definitely interests me, trying to find out the factual truth, that are not distorted by bias.

[Aheadstix85]

Ah?, yeah moron thats why hes in the history books in jerusalem schools and thats why the romans recorded his Crucifixtion and death, even the so called date. Its where we get our fuckin calander from, idiot!!, have you just come out from under you rock and missed the last 2 and a half thousand years pal?.

[ianclivewright]

lol, well history books in the sense of made up history. There's no conclusive proof that Jesus existed, that's what is known as bad history.

The Romans nailed up loads of people, and it's possible he's a sort of construct of lots of different people. One things for sure, if he did exist, when they nailed him up, he stayed dead.

Or are you going to tell me they've got biology textbooks with the resurrection in them?

[tofster666]

Well seeing as Biology and every other kind of scientific know how rests on the improbability of improbabilities id say anything is pretty realistic. Especially giving credit to the revolutionary progress of quantam theory, pretty much anything could be concievably possible :)

[ianclivewright]

"Well seeing as Biology and every other kind of scientific know how rests on the improbability of improbabilities", does it really, could you perhaps make that point clearer, sounds like you're starting with an abstract assumption to me?

"Especially giving credit to the revolutionary progress of quantam theory, pretty much anything could be concievably possible :) "

How so, what's possible is what can be discovered and replicated, that's not "anything", just what's possible :>

[Exarian]

yeh, but not necessarily to this universe. you either go with Schrödinger model of quantum mechanics, where everything happens in this universe, and the alternative, where each time a quantum chance occurs, a splinter universe forms for each possible outcome of the individual chance.

[TheWordOfBod]

@tofster666 you mean anything that is conceivable is therefore possible. i conceive you being quiet...

[marknpeyton]

Why do atheists spend so much time trying to convert people away from religion, casual conparisions between scientology and christianity is the usual method. You are far worse that evangelical Christians in that you are try to convince people of nothing. Yes religion has been exploited to comit acts of wrongdoing but what atheists often disregard is the force for good that religion can be. Religion doesnt give the answer to all questions but Atheism doesnt ask any questions at all.

[ianclivewright]

Well they don't really, they just point out to people who believe in a pixie that lives in cloud fluffy land, that their beliefs are very childish and silly. I think you are confusing religious people who try to explain to people that absurd things are true, with rational people, who explain that a little man who lives in the sky is about as likely as a person having a soul.

Atheism is the result of rational enquiry, it's religion that never questions, just repeats ridiculous scripture.

Sorry.

[ianclivewright]

That's not an answer, but then all your answers were worked out 2000 years ago by people who didn't understand the mechanics of rainfall.

[KapernicusI]

@ianclivewright Your grasp of historical fact is just wrong. It is undisputed in legitimate historical circles that Christ existed. His death is recorded. There is to much documentary evidence of his life and execution for it to be denied.

The fact that this one man had such an effect on so many men who worked so hard in his memory shows there must have been someone.

[canisfamilliaris]

@KapernicusI

No it's very disputed that he existed, in lots of circles. What isn't disputed is that lots of trouble makers, and nutty messiahs were running around causing trouble, and the Romans had to crucify quite a lot of them to get some peace.

The Christ bedtime story is probably just a amalgam of terrorists and various malcontents, all fused into one baby story, like Robin Hood, or Mohamed, or any other of the hundreds of myths that have come and gone, it's just one more.

[KapernicusI]

@canisfamilliaris You have completed ignored my point about the childish nature of sin and redemptions and continued with your drivel about pixies and such crap. It sems that you are the peurile one.

You suggestion that Mohammed is a fiction shows that you have no understanding of history and then all your assertions, especially ones refering o the historical existance of Jesus, are to be laughed at bu all who have sense.

[canisfamilliaris]

@KapernicusI

Sin and Redemption is childish I agree, like believing in things there's no evidence for: Pixies, Jesus, Mohamed, Christ, Robin Hood, Sweeny Tod, they're all the same because they're all make believe.

You can tell this by the fact that there's absolutely no evidence for any of them, not one tiny shred.

No, there is no actual evidence that Mohamed actually existed. But say he did? A murderous, evil child molester existed once, big deal, how impressive.

[KapernicusI]

@canisfamilliaris I would say the sudden spread of Arabs from the peninsula was evidence. Someone had to create Islam and it was the warlord Mohammed who wrote a book. There is also many people who knew him who where kaliffs later. To suggest that he did not exist is absurd, whatever next? There's no evidence for Caesar? Alfred the Great was an almgamation of various Earls?

[KapernicusI]

@canisfamilliaris The many Christians who tryed to spread the word after Jesus' death is evidence of his existance. People can only be motivated to do this by a charismatic man like Jesus. Although you may consider the Gospels untrustworthy because of when and by whom they were written, the fact the remains that the were written for a reason. The writers cannot have invented people like Paul because hundreds of people would have rembered him. Whether Jesus was Christ or not is another matter.

[canisfamilliaris]

@KapernicusI

You might as well say Gorgons exist, or Jove, or the Kraken if your taking the amount of people who believe as a criteria for somethings existence. I think you should try to investigate how scientific method works.

What about the Pope, he really must be God's right hand man, as so many people believe it to be true? A ridiculous inversion of reality, logic that would shame a 5 year old.

Charismatic people exist, Pol Pot, Hitler, Stalin, Jesus, Mohamed, there's no difference.

[KapernicusI]

@canisfamilliaris 'Charismatic people exist'. That is what I was saying, Jesus was a charismatic person. I did not mean the number of people who believe but the number of people who claim to have met him and experienced his charisma, inspiring them to do things which they woulld not otherwise do.

[KapernicusI]

@canisfamilliaris I hope you understand that I was being sarcastic about sin and redemption being childish. They are very high philosophical ideas and also a very basic part of our existance. All people, no matter what they believe, are aware of there sins and similarly feel the need for redemption. Most children have not quite experienced enough to feel this need. The fact that children live in the here and now means that calling the huge philosophical concepts of religion childish is silly.

[canisfamilliaris]

@KapernicusI

I didn't understand that, sorry I thought you had at least one realistic brain cell, obviously I thought wrong?

The evidence, shows, we are evolved simians, like all other creatures, we live for a bit then our atoms go off to do other things. Sin, Redemption, morality, are extensions of social learning, (memes?), and instinct. The make believe stuff is just some group or another trying to get power.

Communism, Religion, Fascism, all the same, belief systems. Hitler == Jesus et al.

[KapernicusI]

@canisfamilliaris You seem to think that because something is an extension of social learning it doesn't matter. The ideas of sin and redemption are abstract concepts which describe something we all experience. They are very important and they matter.

It is not true that ideologies are a group trying to get power. The people who found them and many who practice them believe. Sometimes undesirable people use tham to wield power but such instance are rare.

[JapeUK]

@KapernicusI Hahaha! Yes very rarely do powerful groups and institutions get used by the self-interested. Social 'climbers' and people with 'leadership skills' are almost always to an extent self-interested. Becoming an Emperor or Pope wont make you less full of yourself, thats for sure.

[KapernicusI]

@ianclivewright Yes, because ideas of the nature of sin and redemption are very childish and silly. Your claim to being rational and looking at the evidance is rather undermined by the fact that you canstantly attack those who believe in the divine in a rather juevenile way making allegations which are just false.

[canisfamilliaris]

@KapernicusI

Well that's not true, I've not made any false accusations, merely pointed out the silly childish nature, of grown adults who believe a pixie (or is it a squirrel?), lives in the sky in fluffy dumpling land.

You are free to believe in whatever evidence free drivel you want, and you can even spout on about it.

Doesn't change the simple facts, no evidence, not one single shred, just lots and lots of very silly people, with puerile ideas.

[VengaboysRbackINtown]

Lol. South Park copied this.

[sellout87]

the church is probably just as much of a joke than scientology is just more people believe it.

[sacredgeometry]

probably? haha it is a joke all religion serves as the biggest point of laughter for anyone with a scrap of common sense or sense of humor.

[ianclivewright]

I don't think "probably" is true, try certainly.

[Metallicman1985]

A church of people who believe in alien worship over Jesus christ, someone they have proven existed and have a book about, over little green men who as far as we know are seen after to much piss( alcohol for you yanks) is just mind boggling to me, i think it a government conspiracy.

[ianclivewright]

Alien worship, Jesus Christ, there's no proof he existed, like there's not proof that Robin Hood existed. If he did exist, he was just some political agitator who got nailed up for his pains.

Him being the Son of the Sky Troll, is even less likely than the little green man philosophy.

[UncleMcCrustyPoo]

Who are you talking about, Robin Hood or Jesus, coz I can't remember Robin Hood being the son of a Sky Troll

[ianclivewright]

It's a little known fact that Robin Hood was the result of the congress between an elf and a wood nymph, I'm starting a new religion based on it. Aheadstix85 will join, he's pretty credulous.

All donations gratefully accepted, I've got an ambition to loll on a beach all day.

[UncleMcCrustyPoo]

Of Course! It's all falling into place now.

[talatsmum]

lmao brilliant

[quasarsphere]

Did anybody else notice Dead Can Dance in the music? Just a few seconds of it.

[Mysanitydoesfly]

Yeah, I noticed it, but it's actually a Lisa Gerrard solo track.

[quasarsphere]

Oh yeah! :)

[macgill2k]

an early dig at scientology, classic

[garvan]

I'm so grateful to whoever upload this! Was wanting for ages for it. Thanks!

[moneywaker]

the science of science, lol

[seahorseoysterfish]

Anyone who even thinks "Scientology" is a proper word is clearly making it up as they go along.

[mistermuffin420]

lol the beginning where they pretend like he is special is an actual gimmick with the church of scientology. even their title is misleading as iyt has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with science

[FukkSteveIrwin]

lol nice

[SteffanLlwyd]

Somewhere near Kings Cross, their lurks a Messiah... called Kevin. The twelve disciples are Sandra, Lance, Tracey, Brian, Ed, Roger, Bert, Ronny, Benny, Ruthy, Dave and Pod.

Watch out for Pod. He's treacherous...

[CharitableView]

Pod is a false messiah. The true disciples are Dave, Dave, Jeremy, Dave, George, Dave, Steve, Dave, George, Dave and Louise and Trev.

[SteffanLlwyd]

Pod betrayed Kevin with a BigMac. The Extra Fries drew Kevin's attention to the suspect nature of Pod's gift to him in Denmark Street. Kevin, Louise, Trev and Pod met there to try Telecasters and Rickenbackers. So Pod claimed. Then the Anti-Christ turned up and zapped Kevin ('cos Pod gave 'im a tip-off as to where Kevin would be.) Louise was freaked. Kevin and the Anti-Christ settled it by seeing who could play best lead guitar. K's licks were best, so the Anti-Crist went home to Tooting.

[hayesy316]

Don't think so, no...

[yorkanoncam]

i lold, lots!

[RandomnessUK]

Awesome scientology dig =]

[upsidedowngiraffe]

wasn't scientology almost unheard of in the uk when they made this? i wouldn't remember with my age and all that. but thats some foresight if it wasn't. class.

[RandomnessUK]

Scientology has been shrinking for years, was much bigger in the late 80s and early 90s before all the fraud and abuse became public.

[upsidedowngiraffe]

damn good job too. forgive my young mind.

[Dn2kproductions]

pretty much it was a very original script, the new covered alot of stories about it

[vveet]

big train was always disterbing yet funny