The Ass at Mass

[OhCurt]

SINNER!

;-)

[Avinashda]

she's a dyke for sure hahaha , they always try to be manly and shit fuckin gay bastards

[distorteddogma]

Not to worry. Your entire episode only made the rest of the congregation closer to God. As they were all thanking him that it had not happened to them.

Be Well.

[Laurlaur543]

i graduated from a catholic high school. one time in an all school mass i refused to give peace to everyone because the dude beside me had been picking his nose and eatting his boogers during the whole mass and i refused to touch his hand. everyone thought i was a total bitch. so much for being sanitary lol!

[MattieCooper]

If I had been dragged to church by my parents, your cell phone would have been a great entertainment break!

[whencowzbark]

lmfaoooo.

[rippac86]

omg its u!!! I FINALLY FOUND U! my dream is to be ur stalker...

[mousenblack]

Wow your still making videos all these years later awesome!

[vjm1234]

God forgives us all =) SmileyD

[tonygem]

For some reason I find it hard to believe that you're a catholic, Kelly. It's not exactly the most open-minded organization in the religious world.

[davidanastasiou]

Funny and true. What I hate, is that events like that could never be repeated even if your life depended on it. An evil villain is about to blast you into oblivion and your only hope is to trigger the music player on your phone with your butt and activate the sonic disarm. Nope. You won't be able to do it. I promise.

[LOVEEET]

nutcheese are you gay

[yamnema]

i so would have looked up towards heaven when the phone went off, and say loudly, "Yes, Lord?"

lol, funny story.

[urielwirth]

Well, one things for sure, i had too many subscriptions because I had no notification (or at least a noticable one) that you had posted this video. But why do you care about that? onto my comment.

Farting in church may have been equally embarrassing. My mum let one rip at easter service and the fam is Lutheran. People turned around and a child was trying to conceal his adorable laughter. Moral: Don't fart in church.

[iluvmyducks]

Lol I love NutCheese srories!

[GuitargirlandI]

Kelley kelley i am the perfect ass

For it seems like, the harder u try to do right, the less u achieve, for i have found, I am never going to be perfect in my eyes> but in his eyes he see me as a perfect ass no matter my faults Amen

[CJU08]

LOL only you. wish i was there to see the reaction on your face.

[polska1967]

You're gonna burn in hell for what you did!!! or maybe just your ass will.

[MyPinkElephants]

haha! Was it a loud obnoxious song? :D

[VanityChique]

Sounds like you belong in the glass room in the back of the church with the speakers in it.

[marshvernet]

nice to see you...

[maineladydi]

Was the song "I've God Big Balls" by AC/DC?

[RupertsCrystals]

That's easy... just set your phone ring to a fart sound.

[NutCheese]

Be careful of poison oak.

[thebigfatlamp]

the question is, what song went off? would have been super embarrassing had it been like the thong song or something. :D

[fehquig]

Good to see you making a video again! You have just had enough embarrassment to last another year...

[NutCheese]

Ha! This kind of thing happens to me regularly.

[pernoy]

It seems like the phone always goes off at the wrong times...

[NutCheese]

without a doubt

[kokohawk]

It's good to see you making a video again! Couldn't you have just turn the power off on the phone?

[NutCheese]

Trust me... I was trying.

[orju]

Happy Hanukkah

[NutCheese]

Shalom!

[monicavm]

You were mad at yourself. That's worse than anything your body could do. It was your own failing. Yeah, embarrassing.

[NutCheese]

Huh?

[moomay11649]

So, you're HOLY, eh?

Luvs,

Mooz

[NutCheese]

I have NEVER been asked that question before. HA!

[stzach]

So you suffered -- did you offer it up? One way or the other, it counts for points, you know. I learned all about that after years and years and years of parochial school and nuns and church and choir boy practice and everything else. If you suffered, you were ahead of the game. Congrats Kelly -- you scored!

[NutCheese]

Oh crap... there is a point system to this???

[cooksterz]

HAHA - Humility is a grace, isnt it!! Im sure you got dirty looks, but someone prolly prayed for you :D Merry Christmas Nutcheese :D

[NutCheese]

It's a grace huh... well, it was a painful grace experience!

[matthewserta]

i blame Verizon :D

[NutCheese]

My phone is possessed by Verizon!!!

[avalonaviir]

I'm so sorry, well now you know not to put it in your back pocket. ; )

[NutCheese]

It was in my bag!

[wildbrain03]

Kelly, I want to know what ring tone you had on your phone????? Too funny!

[NutCheese]

It wasn't a ringtone... it was a song by REM called "Try not to breathe" My ringtone is "Hey Jude".

[xjasongarciax]

aww, you go to church? You're such a softy. You know, like that brown stuff that comes out of our asses.

:o)

[NutCheese]

Yeah... I go to church. You got something to say about that sucker! ;)

Aww... you know the way to a womans heart... by leaving a comment about poop!

[wyldewynd]

Lol I so would of liked to of seen this happen lol

[NutCheese]

Sorry... you will have to live it vicariously through my video. It wont be happening again.

[wyldewynd]

very cute video. thank you for making my day better

[ASECONDCHANCEAROUND]

lmao, I have done that before..

**Kisses**

[NutCheese]

Like that's a real shocker... that phone is surgically attached to your ear!

[PrincessDiana161]

Had to watch this again without you and Jenn yappin in my ear LOL

[NutCheese]

It was worth it to hear you cracking up as you watched it.

[suekosa]

Hahaha, I've done something like that before, I ended up hearing "Wanted Dead or Alive" Full blast in my ears, ouch!

It's good to see you again, haven't from you in a while. Merry Christmas if I don't see you again before the holidays.

[NutCheese]

Merry Christmas! Hopefully I'll be putting some more videos up soon.

[treetopteresa]

Another example that God has a sense of humor. lol

[NutCheese]

Yeah... He could lay off on using that humor on me though. That last one took it out of me! ;)

[3CoolKats]

Say three Hail Mary's and smash your phone with a sledgehammer and all will be forgiven:)

[NutCheese]

I'll just dip my phone in Holy Water.

[777Marlene]

sweety, that must have been an absolutely cathartic catastrophe of earthshaking proportion which bordered on being life-changing....it oh so totally reminds me of an experience which happened to me in the fourth grade, in front of the entire school, and played a large role in creating the eccentric shut-in that i have become.....i will pray for you and issue 287 hail mary's(and im not even catholic)...at least , my dear...you didnt cut a rock concert loud fart in the middle of the library((hugg)

[NutCheese]

I'm a bit of a shut-in.... I just happen take it outside at times. The world needs to be exposed to us eccentrics to keep them on their toes!

[777Marlene]

ooh lil sis....we are the last hope the world has for redemptive insanity((luv u))

[mysteryglo]

Phones have a way of going off when you least expect it! LOL

[NutCheese]

Stupid phones!

[captainfury2007]

Oh man, thats awful.

[NutCheese]

Finally... a sympathetic comment!

Wait a second... are you talking about the quality of my video being awful???

[flynlizard]

ih well at least your a loveable ass ;0

[NutCheese]

That I am. :)

[NutCheese]

Email.

[phototech11]

You crack me up...nice one...need to get Jenn back to San Fran for some more video fun

[NutCheese]

Jenn lives here now. I've just been slacking when it comes to making videos.

[phototech11]

You slacker...you guys need to get busy. Tell Jenn we miss her also!!!!

[sweetcharade518]

I've missed you! You WOULD feel more comfortable farting, haha!

[NutCheese]

A fart is like an earthquake... it hits you, but is over pretty quick. The music lingered!

[myloflex]

yea bb has a habbit of just going crazy at random times in ones pocket.

[NutCheese]

The stupid thing wouldn't shut off for the life of me!

[Tiredofcrap]

Stupid phone you made me look bad.... courage

[NutCheese]

As if I needed any help

[siknastynik]

:) this story made me smile.. not at your pain.. it's just i know exactly how frantic you get when it goes off in church

[NutCheese]

Oh sure... laugh at my humiliation why don't you! ;)

[SillyLilTea]

i like me some nutcheese :D

[BrotherofNalts]

My iPhone is easy to silence. I just have to will it with prayer. You have a pagan phone.

[NutCheese]

Maybe it doesn't go off because people don't call you because you're a pain in their ass by suggesting things like going to Confession? :))

[BrotherofNalts]

My phone has an App for that.

[NutCheese]

Make a note to go and confess this addiction you have with your iphone. I'm starting to become concerned.

[BrotherofNalts]

It also has an App for co-dependence. And iPieta deals with the spiritual side.

[NutCheese]

You sure are good that justifying things. Say it with me... I'm powerless over my addiction to my iphone.

Keep coming back, it works if you work it.

[BrotherofNalts]

Do you just hover over your comments? Glad that works for you!

My phone has an App for that.

[NutCheese]

Do you just sit around waiting for replies to these your comments you think are so witty?

Actually I just got home from Mass where my phone didn't happen to go off and so because I was so thankful I decided to take this time to reply to comments. I'm just spreading the love.

Is there an app for that?

[BrotherofNalts]

There's no App for spreading the love. That has to be done in person.

But maybe I need to turn off these YT alerts so my phone stops telling me that you've left another comment...

[NutCheese]

Oops... did I make your phone go off again? They should really make an app for that!

[BrotherofNalts]

Actually, they do! Just activated it!

[NutCheese]

So much for "spreading the love" huh?

Is there an app called iNutCheeseIsAnnoying?

[strangeparty]

I fart in church all the time. I try to do it on the amen's, which muffles it a bit.

[NutCheese]

A nun in the pew in front of me farted. It wasn't on the amen, so it wasn't muffled.

[ChristopherMast]

Yikes.  No side exits?

[Mernie9]

Sweet! :)

[BulletteKitty]

Oh wow, that would have been VERY embarrassing! But it's ok, what happened in the past is in the past- don't worry about it. BTW, what was the song that played??

[NutCheese]

It was a song by REM called "Try Not to Breathe". That would have been more fitting if it was after I farted.

[Indie1Rob]

See, we athiests can keep our phone on anywhere...but we do tend to call people while they are in church, just for fun.

[NutCheese]

To remind them to pray for you?

[Indie1Rob]

If that makes them feel happy, it is not a bad thing.

[katalina2007]

I think that it is WAY cool that you attend mass--ON holy days of obligation :) Merry Christmas, Kel!

[NutCheese]

Shhhh... don't tell anyone! It will be our little secret.

[katalina2007]

:o)

[jayess]

That was a good story. Well told.

[FaceForRadio63]

Ass music? Is that a fart joke? I agree, it is inappropriate to fart at mass and by "inappropriate" I mean fun.

Pass the bean plate, er, offering plate.

[NutCheese]

Who me? Make a fart joke? NEVER!!!

[Jersey526]

You're going straight to.... hold on, I have to get that.

[NutCheese]

Oh yeah, well you can... hold on, my ass is ringing again.

[JimmerSD]

Better there than in the theater. People might really get pissed.

[NutCheese]

They were too busy thinking... "I'm sure glad that wasn't me!"

[qiranger]

That's a great story Kelley!

[NutCheese]

I thought you might enjoy that one. :)

[sheldon80]

I just set my cell phone to fart mode.

[NutCheese]

I have that ring tone. Are you surprised?

[sheldon80]

yes. We are prob. really the most odoriferous ones around. :P

Blagh

[Zipster08]

That's why I got rid of my cell phone! It went off EVERY TIME I went to church!

[agirlwithguitar]

IM SURE!

[NutCheese]

You got rid of your phone because you couldn't figure out how to work it!

[P00P0STER0US]

Hahaha, I love you.

[kateam1975]

the fart would have been quakier

[NutCheese]

I'm Catholic, not Amish. Good thing too because I'm a computer nerd.

[BoomerChick55]

ABSOLUTELY GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!!

[NutCheese]

*waves*

[kismet0717]

Lol...In the old days....The priest would have sent Sister Mary Francis to wack ya with a ruler.

Butt dialing is the worst! BTDT!

HugZ! ~jOjO~ ;-P

[NutCheese]

That probably would have made me feel better about the situation. Mortification FTW!!!

[HumanBlade666]

A great video nutcheese! glad to see you back to posting. how did all your exams go?

[NutCheese]

I finished... I passed.  It's all good.

[Perroquet51]

Go straight to Hell, don't pass Go, don't collect your wafer.

I assume your phone wasn't playing Ave Maria.

To this day, I'm still ticked off that I was born on Dec 9 instead of Dec 8.

[NutCheese]

At least it didn't play some of the other songs I have on there. The situation could have been MUCH worse!

[OneWithJesus]

I thought it was going to be about you farting in your pew by the title. I am sure you will be forgiven.

[NutCheese]

I have yet to fart in Mass. Give it time... it will happen. It was close today. I'm getting over the flu and things are still a bit unsettled down there. I notice the old people in church fart a lot. It makes me giggle every time!

[1938superman]

I think I hear the baby Jesus crying. :-)

[NutCheese]

He's not a fan of REM?

[1938superman]

Oh God, please tell me it was "That's me in the corner". lol :-)

[NutCheese]

LOL! If that was the song I would have said it in the video. Really most of their songs have a dark message, but at least this was one people wouldn't know the words to. It was "Try not to breathe"

[spydog97]

what a terrible walk of shame! I'm so surprised the priest didn't call you out on it. That would have been the icing on the shitcake!

[NutCheese]

LOL! They all know I go out of my way not to draw attention to myself. If anything they saw the irony of the situation.

[lancastercounty2007]

If that was me i would have just took the phone and stomped on it just to shut it up

[NutCheese]

Trust me... I was very tempted to do that.

[RyanXHavok]

gotta love technology lol great vid! :)

[NutCheese]

I live technology until it pisses me off.

[TravMcTavish]

YAY! I'm so glad you exams are over now! More Nutcheese videos please! Gotta love arse triggered music. :)

[NutCheese]

I'll try to make some more videos now that I have a little down time.

[dijornopizza]

YOU HAVE really straight teeth

[NutCheese]

I was born with them

[bowiechick]

If my first child comes out with a full set of teeth, I will name it after you.

[NutCheese]

I'm going to hold you to that. I think NutCheese would be a precious name for a baby.

[IWalk4tnt]

Love it, I miss your stories Kelley!

[NutCheese]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[oneiblind30]

What a heartwarming story.

[NutCheese]

yeah... real touching huh?

[bohogirl1]

aw kelly i feel for ya!

[NutCheese]

BS... you are laughing at me. Admit it!

[PrincessDiana161]

I was gonna say.. it DOES take a lot fo embarrass you!!

BTW I was counting the seconds till your ADD moment :)

[NutCheese]

All it takes is white patio furniture.

[VioletKitty411]

My pastor would say "that had better be Jesus calling."

[bubbabrand]

i went to this one church where the pastor would say... DONT answer that, its the DEVIL!

[NutCheese]

I would tell him that I didn't need any comments from the peanut gallery.

[thizizliz]

Oh gosh - I never thought of that happening - of course I only go for funerals and weddings, so turn it off totally for stuff like that. But it's so easy with today's phones for stuff you didn't intend to happen to just start - sounds as though you handled it the only way possible.

[NutCheese]

I was prepared by putting the ringer on mute... wasn't aware the music would still be loud.

[thizizliz]

Good point - and who expects the dang thing to go off like that? I think its a sign. Even as a person allergic to church, I'd have been embarrassed too. Most of the time, I love technology, but once in a while, it bites you in the butt. Thanks for sharing the story with us.

[OhCurt]

Pounding away at your what, now??!

[NutCheese]

My phone. I have no idea what you are inferring to. *adjusts halo*

[mikma]

mikma was here

[NutCheese]

stalker

[kenrg]

I've done the butt dialing, but not the butt music playing. And not in church.

[NutCheese]

I have no idea how it happened! Stupid blackberry!

[funkwurm]

hehehehe, that's hilarious XD

[NutCheese]

yeah, yeah... yuck it up wurm :P

[sunsetlover]

oh my goodness, I dont think I have ever had a phone go off, But someones rang during my mothers funeral... it was fitting though she Loved her cell phone.. so it seemed like no body minded ... .weird

[NutCheese]

I saw someone answer a phone and start a conversation during a Baptism. I was like... you have got to be freakin kidding me!

now thats a ass in mass