Dane Cook -The Sneeze

[ImAnAustralian]

snark·y/ˈsnärkē/

Adjective:

(of a person, words, or a mood) Critical; cutting; testy.

[XxTwiPiresxX]

lol I actually sneezed during this

[Minisniper555]

i sent to my crush a few months back and he thought i had a great sense of humor and now were dating <3 THANKS DANE

[Grain1234]

Everybody who is a member of an organized religion was inculcated (brainwashed) by parents and other authority figures. If you are a Christian, but had been born in Saudi Arabia, you'd be a Muslim, and vice versa. Had you been born in India, you'd be Hindu. One man's lies are as good as the next.

[snugglebear4]

i call people snarky all the time

[TheMelonhead1996]

What do you say to an Atheist when he sneezes uhh..... "When you die nothing happens...?"

[RationalArgumentMan]

All christians, catholics, whatever. Not all atheists are like this. Just like some Christians give you guys a bad name there is some atheists like that too. Most atheists are nice and will leave you alone with your beliefs, so please don't generalize atheists as douchebags. (Btw this vid was funny).

[Xinfinitude]

Arrogance is something I just can't stand. I'm an atheist, so to tell the truth I probably would have been laughing on the inside about the persons beliefs, but I would strongly avoid actually being condescending by laughing and such, as to not offend them.

Of course, had I been the guy who sneezed, I wouldn't feel obligated to say I'm an atheist in the first place, just because they mentioned god lol.

[M8NSTY]

I am banging bmy head as i am typing bvthis.

[bigsean5569]

to all atheists that like this video god bless u ...... oh wait 

[CowsInConverse77]

Best thing ever xD 

[juniorfly700]

he just owned tht atheist at the end

[ReservoirDog1026]

Cuz we all know Atheists live a pretty hard life.

[MegaMeowser]

hes just waving his arms crazily.

[hillothere]

XD laughed so hard!! XD

[SheerEpic]

i am atheist and i am honestly offended but i still think it's pretty damn funny

[TaylorRiot1990]

the guy thinks he's gonna come back as a fucking ficus. Lmfao.

[MrTote191]

Laughed SO FUCKING HARD

[blondeysama]

i actually tried the windex sht... XD

[cutiejule98]

@blondeysama what happened? Did you see a ghost? lmbo!

[blondeysama]

@cutiejule98 I got a a stain about 8 clicks *click click click* xD

[AliGirl10123]

this video totally made my day awesome!

[BlueWinterFlame]

All the people who dislike this, are atheist 

[Avdallabill]

@BlueWinterFlame Nope I'm an Atheist and I loved this..

[BlueWinterFlame]

@Avdallabill Im sorry i was just being a smart elic! :) i ment to offence

[IOutDoSyndicate]

@BlueWinterFlame All the idiots in the world, are religious people.

[N4RVS]

@IOutDoSyndicate Not necessarily. There are dumb non-religious people.

[BlueWinterFlame]

@N4RVS Thank u

[N4RVS]

@BlueWinterFlame You're welcome :)

[evanatromitoszarsaz]

Urban Dictionary:

snarky 10978 up, 1810 down

A word that should be googled to find the definition as per direction from Dane Cook. It means short tempered or irritable.

"He was being very snarky with me. Yeah, snarky. Its a word, google it." -Dane Cook

lol

[AngielovesuDavid]

lol

[Disneygirly1982]

cute!

[snootynewt]

snarky means crochety and snappish, attitudeish

[DragonsLKG]

windextor..........the new leader of the decepticons

[Fr3k3]

I AM WINDEXTOR

[matafuko]

Wow... he's like a Bargain Bin version of Jim Carrey who has undergone comedy bypass surgery...

[MarvelousBARBIEx]

I loveeeeeeeeee when he says "and once he's paper .. you print the bible on him!" HIS FACE AFTER IS SOO EPIC ! xD

[babyangelm9m28]

h0w many people g0ogled SNARKY after watching dis??? :)

[TheBrokenhearted8]

I AM WINDEXTOR.. I WILL CLEAN YOUR SOUL!!!!;:D

[truvelocity]

Excellent comedian. Really enjoy his delivery. Great job Dane Cook.

[gabbagurlz]

johnny weeping willow.... LMFAO HILARIOUS!!!!

[josheastgate]

No, those 64 dislikes were from people who understand Dane Cook is one of the worst comedians going around. He's one of those comedians that think the louder you yell, the funnier you are. Terrible comedian. Try Bill Hicks instead.

[froststar1216]

those 64 dislikes where from atheist not that i have anything agaist them their just odd or confssed.

[sunshinebooboo101]

Lmao im chatholic too... i honestly half expected a bunch of nuns with rulers to come whoop him for all that swearing

[Dayne50]

He's laughing at you because he makes sense, you moron. I hate that this fool has the same name as me.

[superanimecutie3]

I googled snarky well i watched this

[prowla14]

i tryed that windex stuff yah never do that now i am clean

[MrOvipare]

LOL! How people even laugh at this?

[dokha]

@MrOvipare i am so angry.. of the lots of people who dont like dane cook like you, i see lots of comments like this and let me say that you only accept what you please of humor u dont take the whole package, humour has many sides and and faces i learned to accept all of the kinds, every comedian has his own kind, it doesnt have to be clever or fast, yes dane drags his pionts and this is what he is best at. so if you dont love him for who he is find another comedian and dont whine about it here.

[tomisinakatkid]

I WILL CLEAANN YOUR SOULLL!

[chelita85]

I said, "God bless you"... but it kind of sounded like "Cover your f**king mouth." ~Incognito

[KonekoKatsumi]

56 people put that shit on halfway and Windextor didn't come out.

[amaroq69]

Fuckin' funny, even fer this athiest...:D

[manduh87]

GESUNDTEIT! I wind up on the history channel cause a guy sneezed!

[000funkyorange000]

ahahahaha i'm laughin so hard i sense a six-pack comin on XD

[bladedaawesome2]

i really wish i could find some damn windex right now.

[123lovedovey]

Im an athiest and i found that to be pretty damn funny. Not quite sure how to many athiests can find that offensive with all the other crap we go through. Nice job dane cook that made me laugh.

[OrlyI95]

@123lovedovey explain to something you say all atheists go through bad stuff I have a friend who everyday gets mad at other friends because they let there emotions show to everyone and I agree but it gets me mad when he himself does the same thing expect in a different way and hes an atheist my point is y does everyone say your lifes are hard just because your an atheist thats stupid my lifes hard to

[123lovedovey]

@OrlyI95 Im sure youre life is hard not trying t say its not or that anyones isnt hard just saying that we too get persecuted like the christians for our faith. Im not speaking for all athiests and neither is your friend just merly giving my point of view.

[angelcent0824]

@NewStyleBros first of all, that's disrespectful to atheists. second of all, that's an unoriginal comment. third of all, maybe 53 people just didn't find dane cook funny o.0

(btw, not all atheists are jackasses like the guy dane was talking about)

[djxavier1234]

* Atheists Sneezed * WHEN YOU DIE NOTHING HAPPENS . HAHAHA XD

[nattyluvshellokitty]

haha this is great!!

[sunnydudeable]

54 people met windextor

[J4M1983]

GESUNDHEIT ! ^^

[KennedyCorey]

I've never seen a comic do so well with such shitty material......terrible comdy writer but a great natural performer.

[Cilibi]

XD

[Chronosaur]

Um... maybe you only find him funny if you're a girl?

[AQWShadowpalidin]

thumbs up if you googled snarky

[DUSKvsDAWN]

i am atheïst, got a fucking problem with that?

lol

[d4rkcurs3sz]

Gotta quick-scope this grease spot!

[Strawberriesrule4568]

52 people are atheists

[LahCraziMark]

Tons of people think he's hilarious. If you can't deal with the fact that you and he aren't super best friends and that other people can enjoy him, too, well then, it sucks to be you. Besides the fact that you assume Germans are Nazis, you're also hating on atheists. I've got no problem with free speech, but that's taking it way too far. I'm done with this, and I'm done with you, so screw off and keep your filthy racist ass off the internet.

[LahCraziMark]

I hope you weren't taught this by your parents, because if you did, ddrboy54, then that's two more hateful, racist assholes, and I think you fill that niche plenty fine on your own. If you're Catholic, then you must have heard about the good Samaritan? He wasn't catholic, but he was certainly a great person, so why can't you take a lesson from the Good Book that you supposedly follow and stop being such an asshole. I think Dane Cook is hilarious. My Jewish friends think he's hilarious.

[LahCraziMark]

No, they're not Nazis. I answered my own question because you're obviously too busy wiping your ass with the Koran or some other hateful shit to pay attention to anything else. A ton of schools teach German. That doesn't make the teachers Nazi recruiters. Read some of the other comments. Atheists think this is funny. Read hielovr12 or yellowfang98's comments. Fuck you. I hope you came up with these opinions on your own and weren't taught to you by your parents.

[njccustomz619]

ima google snarky

[hieilovr12]

Hey I'm atheist and I thought this was fucking hilarious! I love Dane, his jokes are too funny to hate.

[rafay40]

Snarky: A word that should be googled to find the definition as per direction from Dane Cook.

[xoxoRobbynxoxo]

ilh!!

[yellowfang98]

I'm an atheist, and this is fucking hilarious! X3

[minipro25]

LOL i searched snarky and it said "as said to google by Dane Cook"

[dtf64]

51 people r atheist thats why they dont like dis joke but i thougth it was hilarious and im catholic thanks for putting dis up :)

[rkvv7]

@dtf64 i haz mani frends dat r athiest and like dis too

[ddrboy54]

Anyone speaking German is a Nazi. Also, this man has had his dreams come true! But he disagreed with my fairy tale book... TIME TO KILL HIM AND DESECRATE HIS REMAINS!

-Catholicism

[k8eful]

@ddrboy54 i'm a catholic and my protestant mother is german so that means that i'm a german catholic so SHUT UP you hurt my feelings and Gesundheit means "to your health" thank you much!

[LahCraziMark]

@ddrboy54 Hey, here's an idea. Fuck you. Fuck you ddrboy54. I know a ton of Germans. You must live in fucking Swatsika-town or something, because I've never seen or do I plan to see, a Nazi. Fuck you, you racist, religious-profiling fuck. I'm a Roman Catholic. I bet the Pope speaks German. He's from Europe, and he's very important, so he relates to all of the world. I bet some of your friends (oh, wait, you're too big an asshole to have friends), but people you know speak German. Are they Nazis?

[ddrboy54]

@LahCraziMark Wow you're retarded. I was satirizing the message Dane Cook is spreading. Oh you said you're catholic. Problem found.

[daphne2blake]

@ddrboy54- whats that suppost to mean," oh and u say ur catholic. problem found." what the hell is that suppost to mean huh...

[timemanguy]

The next Windextor cult meetin is next tuesday see you all there!!

[Whiskers2468]

i was calling people and saying in a demonic voice : I AM...WINDEXTOR! before i even saw this video ._. thats some weird shit

[GRITS205]

And once he's paper.. You print the BIBLE on him! :D

[TheBastered]

@GRITS205 yup, u got that right in the punch. That I hope that will happen thous Atheist and the fallen that believed they will come back as some kind of thing.

[greenlime0097]

snarky means :rudely sarcastic, short tempered, i looked it up at answers.com xDDD

[ropeburn2]

thumbs up if you looked up snarky!

[shadowcresent6]

looks like grayson hunt from bulletstorm

[KinaBlurb]

I am Windextor, I will clean your soul! hahahahaha. he told you not to do it! xD I love that part. 

[TheTrueUSPatriot]

Wow and please excuse my awful typos. Haha.

[TheTrueUSPatriot]

@brycycle8 And yes I believe in god, most would think being into science and being a christian, or trying to, is contradicting. But honestly, it's usually just stereotype.

[TheTrueUSPatriot]

@brycycle8 Actually, a man in the sky making everything seems more logical. Science shows that energy is eternal, the first law of thermodynamics states that. It also states it cannot be created nor destroyed it can only transform into one form or another. God in the bible is depicted as a being of light, light is energy, it's photons, photons are ripples in the 5th dimension. That very energy could be god and the 5th dimension could be he heaven. Asa physics major I am telling you this...

[mutanay77]

lol print the bible on him

[museloverx96]

im an athiest but i love himm! =]

[Logmiller1]

41 people are Atheist

[NoCodfishAllowed]

thumbs up if you just Googled 'snarky!'

[m1994z]

if the guy does become a tree then theres no point in printing the bible anyways.

[MYLollipop13666]

41 ppl missed the like button

[Paulkotsu]

@MYLollipop13666

41 people have good taste

[tciera1124]

@Paulkotsu what is wrong with u..... u have a crappy opinion

[devensheaven]

these are stories you can pass on to your chil

[devensheaven]

this may be the funniest man on the planet

[alyann39]

I LOVE DANE! He always seemed to me like he could be Jim Carrey's son or nephew! SO F-ING HILARIOUS!!!!!

[reddevil16carrick]

How can people hate this guy? He's damn hilarious!!!

[amberroley3]

That's awesome!:))

[mesuhlikemusic]

Fail. I think he meant he kisses and head butts the ENTER BUTTON. Because if it was the space bar, it would be like. How *bam* dare *bam* you *bam*.

Etc.

[RayeOfSunshine93]

Like this if you tried your windex half way!

[MYLollipop13666]

@RayeOfSunshine93 I did and windextor came out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was scary

[MrGamesWeekly]

@RayeOfSunshine93 doesnt do anything

[weaponbros]

@RayeOfSunshine93 Ok did you even listen to him bad things happen to good people.

[Justin1234239]

hahaahahahahahhahahahahahahahh­asshahahahahahahahahahahasshah­ahahahahhahahahasshahahahahaha­hhasshahahahahahahahahasshahah­ahasshahahahahahassahahahhahas­sahahhahaahahasshahahahah

[TheMrMurcielago]

OMFG his laugh at 2:15.. EPIC

[77row]

dane cook goes off topic to much... but its good cuz he gives us a extra joke

[47Syn]

I basically have no religious preference whatsoever, but GOD this man cracks me up. XDDD

[graywolf303]

...i watched this with an atheist friend...she died laughing...

[vdchgffgv]

@graywolf303 Maybe she'll turn into a tree? :D

[caligirl2u2]

@vdchgffgv And then the bible:)

[rockprincess626]

@xxChildoftheMoonxx ha i was thinking the same thing like arent u supposed to space between words lol

[SpEeDyZTiTaN]

buahhahahahahahahhhah xD

[UVRAwesomness]

Once hes paper,you print the bible on him.

[UVRAwesomness]

sweating guy with an axe HAHAHA!

[belongtobill]

can i just say that dane cooks amazingly ADORABLE at 3:42?

[XxTHATMEXICANKIDDxX]

i dont understand why so many people hate on dane cook, i love this guy he makes me laugh!!:D

[CelinaaBabii]

when you use the windex bottle never put that shit half way. always make sure its lined up. THERES NO JOKE HERE. DONT DO THAT! BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

[TheTarantulaMan]

39 people got attacked by Windextor

[thedarkmasters123]

snarky-

1.(of a person, words, or a mood) Sharply critical; cutting; snide

- the kid who makes snarky remarks in class

2.Cranky; irritable

- Bobby's always a bit snarky before his nap

googled it hell yeah

[TheSuperArhum]

iam muslim and this rockzzzzzzzzz!!

[TheSuperArhum]

thumbs up if u googed snarsky!

[xXRyuSeimeiXx]

how dare u *ku*

how dare all of u *ku*

[darkstalker243]

I AM WINDEXTOR...I WILL CLEAN YOUR SOUL HAHAHA

[KateKayleeGoneWild]

LEGEND !

[N33DL3R]

I'm religious, and I think this guy sucks.

[darkstalker243]

@N33DL3R well not ta hate but its a joke i think its kinda funny

[iluvmuzik96]

@N33DL3R get over it then

[HwarangOfFaith]

i didn't even chuckle. didn't think that was possible watching a "comedy" show.

[iluvmuzik96]

@HwarangOfFaith screw u then. hundreds think he is hilarious. r u an athiest...

[WierdPerv4U]

FLUUUH!

Lol

[DuffPaddy1]

He makes Michael McIntyre look like Bill Hicks...so bad.

Anybody else agree with the other guy?

[themeggster5]

he's laughing at me and he's coming back as a friken ficus hey hey everybody it's jonny weeping willow

[TheBJellyroll]

who else tried spraying Windex while it's half-way?? XD

[dizzynarutolover]

@TheBJellyroll

its funny

[NoodleLoops]

make sure that shit is lined up.theres no joke here.dont do that.bad things happen to good people. xDDDD

[gialloLantern1]

"Ha ha ha ha ha! He told you not to! I am Windextor! And I will clean your soul!" >:D

[comprimiser]

"which was god bless you, but sounded more like. "cover your fucking mouth!"

[NoodleLoops]

@comprimiser yeah...incognito...>:) GASUNTITE!

[MsDragonballfan01]

yes. yes. ;D

[Kaorukyle789]

he just cocked and PHLUHHHH!!!!!!

[Galaneter]

im the 100.100th viewer

[FabulousXGFFxurzxtru]

I GOOGLED IT

[Raeahehleynah]

Watch, the guy he's talking about watched this and converted to christianity just because he was affraid of the big sweaty dude.

[QuizillaBunny]

37 people didn't line up their windex

[trooper555able]

@GamerzHideaway Well, I have nothing against people who actually have a religion. I just hope that Athiests become trees, a big sweaty guy comes and chops'em down, then grinds them, then puts the bible on them.

[AnimeCutie9898]

@trooper555able Not all of them, just ones that sneeze and do the robot from '85

[sirmikeNike]

PHLAUGH!!!!

[TheStarKiddo]

i think it would be freakin hilarious if that same guy was in the audience! XD

[Dragon11730]

i got nothin against athiests, im catholic, but i find it friekin hilarious to print the bible on them

and i luv his expression at 3:24

[Dragon11730]

i got nothin against athiests, im catholic, but i find it friekin hilarious to print the bible on them

[crassology]

@Dragon11730 why wait until they're trees? Get the tattoo gun now

[JustinBeiberSasuNaru]

I'm an Atheist but I don't believe that I'll turn into a tree.. e.e

[lampyish]

End = pwned!