When I first started cutting, that was a choice. However, once I became addicted, I wasn't making a choice to hurt myself anymore, nor was I clear headed enough to know how or have the strength to stop. It's been six years now, and I'm still trying to quit. If I could take anything in my whole life back, it would be that, the day that I first cut.
i'm not a harmer myself. But my cousin committed suicide & i was extremely close to him. He had a tattoo across his forearmwhich said "To Write Love on Her Arms" being from the UK I thought it was just a lyric from a song or something. Looking into it now, I can see he was crying out for help :( it's so sad and hurtful. Just talk about it to someone. I could've helped him if i'd have known (or i like to think i could've)
~ 1:15 "It's not a choice." It is a choice, just like alcoholism, drug use and other forms of self injury. I choose to burn my skin and I choose to use drugs. That part is pretty much bullshit. There's always a choice. People often speak about not having a choice in a matter, but you always have one. I could choose to stop doing these things to myself, but I don't.
I think it's hard to define 'choice' precisely enough to really have an answer on that. For me there was a mental state I would end up in where I had no idea what was happening - had no control at all. But there was a point where I could tell that I was entering that mental state, and choose to seek help at that stage... though it wasn't easy. I hope you do choose to get some help to stop when you're ready.
but it's not about choice if it becomes an addiction, andi gues you could say i'm choosing to stop, but a lot of things are easier said then done people self harm is because they don't have a the mental strength to cope, let alone stop they're way of coping. that's like having a head ache and saying i choose not to take pain killers because it will go, but the longer you leave it the more it hurts so you're willing to do anything to stop it hurting, even if that means hurting in a different way.
Well I felt I had no choice- and FYI alcoholism is an illness passed down through families. Many things are not choices even though they seem to be. Sounds like you've been watching too much Jeremy Kyle! perhaps you could explain to all the people in distress and harming, and using, that they can just decide not to? Good luck with that.
@snakedad It's different for different people, depending on many factors especially what stage of the addiction you're in. Technically it might be a choice, but for most cutters there are so many overwhelming emotions compelling the person to continue the behavior that it's meaningless to say it's a choice and just write it off as a lack of will-power. Once true addiction sets in, the only choice the addict has is to seek treatment. It's almost always impossible for them to stop on their own.
love the vid i'm a recovering self harmer and i'm going for an interview tomorrow to hopefully volunteer with people with mental health issues, whether they will take me on with my past of self harm i don't know but i really hope so, unfortunately i had a bad experience with therapist and i ended up going through basically alone...my heart goes out to all those with the addiction because it's a cruel cycle but you will get out of it eventually <3 x x
Hiya i have tourretes sydrome am 15 and i suffer from self harm and depressin and OCD if anyone eles can relate to any of my conditons watch my video message ?? xx
I s/h alot too much like luv4eva2u was told i was attention seeking.ive been harming since a young age but recently came out for help to get no where because of prejudge ended up in hospital from a OD and got the same there people should understand especially medical staff maybe more clips and dvds could help harmers and staff alike i would like to stop but not that easy is it?
This is really an admirable video. It's sort of alien to me HOW they describe some things but when they describe others it's like 'oh, yeah, that's how I feel and what happens with me'
I never realized that me cutting was an addiction, even though I've done it for five years. I realize now, I need help, but i dont know how to get it. or even ask for it for that matter.
i no exactly what you mean. i did it for two years before i finally got help. and the first people i went to were my friends. i've never had more support from anyone, but them. if they are you "True" friends they will always be there for you to help you. It took me some time to tell them, but when I did, I felt so much better. You should try talking to them. It might help. :]
I've been cutting for 3 years. And I went to my school counselor to seek help and she told me I was just desperate for attention. You seek help and people judge you. But I have been 4 months without cutting. I'm extremely proud of myself. But it is so hard to not do it. Its like locking away alcohol from an alcoholic. Its tough
they dont understand us i went for help like u all they did was send me around the school and i finally found some1 who try to help i ended up talkin to some therapist he called and that bitch got me hospitalized all i wanted was ta go back ta therapy some1 ta tell my parents ta let me go back they saw my arm cover in cuts and blood thats all that bitch saw she dint even talk to me all i wanted was ta talk not be judge by som cuts if i wanted ta kill myself i would of try again n not gone 4 help
i watched this dvd after self harming 4 about 7 or 8 yrs and this realy helped me to uderstand i want the only one out there i have bin fighting the battel for the passe yr and a half i have relapsed a few times but am oin verry well if eny one would like to talke to me or ask for help i am willing to shere my story with u guys good luck and dont let ppl get u down they dont understand x
i have a friend who is a self harmer but i dont understand why she does it she has a happy life with no traumatising incidents and as i am not a self harmer myself i dont ghet why people do it so i just want someone to help understnad just a little bit so that i can try and help her and i dont want to affend any self harmers
i need some advice my fdriend is a self harmer but i still dont no why she does it she has a good life good friends supportive family and as far as i know she hasnt had any traumatic experiances i just want to help her can anyone help i know that because i am not a self harmer i will never really get why people do it but it would help if i could understand a little bit
I've been self harmer for 2 years and a half now ..I think I've been through for all at this point . I just took about 4 months until I understand that I was addicted .. and then I tried to stop . I work so hard for that but I just can't . I gave up two months ago . And before that my old sister discovered .. I just told her to shut up and I yell at her, she'll not tell to anybody .. so Im fine =P
I've been self harmer for 2 years and a half now ..I think I've been through for all at this point . I just took about 4 months until I understand that I was addicted .. and then I tried to stop . I work so hard for that but I just can't . I gave up two months ago . And before that my old sister discovered .. I just told her to shut up and I yell at her, she'll not tell to anybody .. so Im fine =P
It becomes addicting. Like, soon EVERY LITTLE THING to upset you or ruin your day, you run to your dresser drawr. It's hard. If you ever think about self harming, and havent yet. Take it from us self harmers and do whatever it takes not to.
Satveer's description of the A&E experience and the "anxiety and depression that comes along after self-harm" was really quite refreshing. I agree wholeheartedly with her comments.
I share that 'fear' of getting help and being afraid of those that can probably help. It's been about nine years for me now. I'm beginning to ask for help.
The DVD looks ever so interesting, I'd have loved to have been a part of it. Well done!
I just came across this video today. This is the first time I have seen something about self harm that didn't make me roll my eyes because this film seems to actually portray how so many of us feel. Thank you.
I totally agree with the woman who speaks last about the stereotypical mental health patient - i'm a model, suffering from mental illness/self harm and i have come across this during my time in hospital and also with friends and family, they seem to think because you wear lipstick and look after your appearence that obviously you are not really ill - it kind of freaks them out.
the guy at the beginning talking about his head feeling like a whirlwind described exactly how i feel just before i SH. thanks for this video, really got through to me :)
i was in tears watching this lool its good to hear words from a harmers view for once. i myself am a harmer but i dont get any help, no one in my family knows, i wish to tell them but im to terrified. just hope this documentry sheds some light to me and push me to get helpp
i really agree with what fiona says but i hardly understand satveer. i got the first part with going to the hospital but i couldnt understand what she was saying the secound time.
anyway, i can really relate to what they say and i feel exactly like they do. i think they are beyond brave to talk about self harming cos its something really private and a taboo in our society.
it's interesting that some self-harmers do it for attention, and what people need to realize is that wanting attention isnt a bad thing. people want someone to look out and care for them especially when they're feeling down. ive seen people look down on self-harmers for the fact that they do it for attention, but no one should be scrutinized for wanting love, concern, and affection. excellent video.
The stuff about hospital treatment definitely struck a chord with me.
Besides the point if mental health (and crisis) services were better people would be less likely to end up in A&E, it's ridiculous that people who choose to drink or play dangerous sports are treated with respect compared to self-harmers.
The fact is depression, anxiety and the rest of the mental spectrum are serious illnesses, and people are bound to be injured or ill in the process. Keep holding on.
I'm 1 year, 7 months and 23 days self-injury free. I loved this trailer for your DVD and will definitely be looking to purchase it if you are able to send it internationally.
Hi, I don't really understand self-harm, but I'll be sharing this video with friends and family. Even this short one has given me a bit more empathy and willingness to understand.
hey there, its Joy (I had contact with Harmless last year in Nottingham). Just wanted to say thanks for the video... The speakers really articulated well what goes through someone's head at the point of self-harm. Really well-made video. Keep up all the great work you guys are doing!!
When I first started cutting, that was a choice. However, once I became addicted, I wasn't making a choice to hurt myself anymore, nor was I clear headed enough to know how or have the strength to stop. It's been six years now, and I'm still trying to quit. If I could take anything in my whole life back, it would be that, the day that I first cut.
rachiedoubt 2 years ago 14
i'm not a harmer myself. But my cousin committed suicide & i was extremely close to him. He had a tattoo across his forearmwhich said "To Write Love on Her Arms" being from the UK I thought it was just a lyric from a song or something. Looking into it now, I can see he was crying out for help :( it's so sad and hurtful. Just talk about it to someone. I could've helped him if i'd have known (or i like to think i could've)
unfabulousme 2 years ago
:O, when fonia said her thing it really touched me ....
What she said is soooooo true!!! :) xx
123amylove 2 years ago 5
Medical help dosent work, you dont have a choice, when ur addicted u are! you cant stop, i hate selfharm :( it ruins my life
bexemo 2 years ago
what that song- 'let it snow' -anyone know sho its by?
lovemusic1222 2 years ago
@lovemusic1222
Tom Clelland - it's on his 'Little Stories' Album, which is gorgeous.
harmlessUK 1 year ago
~ 1:15 "It's not a choice." It is a choice, just like alcoholism, drug use and other forms of self injury. I choose to burn my skin and I choose to use drugs. That part is pretty much bullshit. There's always a choice. People often speak about not having a choice in a matter, but you always have one. I could choose to stop doing these things to myself, but I don't.
snakedad 2 years ago
I think it's hard to define 'choice' precisely enough to really have an answer on that. For me there was a mental state I would end up in where I had no idea what was happening - had no control at all. But there was a point where I could tell that I was entering that mental state, and choose to seek help at that stage... though it wasn't easy. I hope you do choose to get some help to stop when you're ready.
harmlessUK 2 years ago
but it's not about choice if it becomes an addiction, andi gues you could say i'm choosing to stop, but a lot of things are easier said then done people self harm is because they don't have a the mental strength to cope, let alone stop they're way of coping. that's like having a head ache and saying i choose not to take pain killers because it will go, but the longer you leave it the more it hurts so you're willing to do anything to stop it hurting, even if that means hurting in a different way.
Chiara4JD 2 years ago
Well I felt I had no choice- and FYI alcoholism is an illness passed down through families. Many things are not choices even though they seem to be. Sounds like you've been watching too much Jeremy Kyle! perhaps you could explain to all the people in distress and harming, and using, that they can just decide not to? Good luck with that.
ThePurplefiona 2 years ago
@snakedad It's different for different people, depending on many factors especially what stage of the addiction you're in. Technically it might be a choice, but for most cutters there are so many overwhelming emotions compelling the person to continue the behavior that it's meaningless to say it's a choice and just write it off as a lack of will-power. Once true addiction sets in, the only choice the addict has is to seek treatment. It's almost always impossible for them to stop on their own.
itstheMAC 2 years ago
love the vid i'm a recovering self harmer and i'm going for an interview tomorrow to hopefully volunteer with people with mental health issues, whether they will take me on with my past of self harm i don't know but i really hope so, unfortunately i had a bad experience with therapist and i ended up going through basically alone...my heart goes out to all those with the addiction because it's a cruel cycle but you will get out of it eventually <3 x x
yrangelion 2 years ago 8
Hiya i have tourretes sydrome am 15 and i suffer from self harm and depressin and OCD if anyone eles can relate to any of my conditons watch my video message ?? xx
rosenatalie14 2 years ago
I s/h alot too much like luv4eva2u was told i was attention seeking.ive been harming since a young age but recently came out for help to get no where because of prejudge ended up in hospital from a OD and got the same there people should understand especially medical staff maybe more clips and dvds could help harmers and staff alike i would like to stop but not that easy is it?
TheGhostinthefog13 2 years ago
im crying, thankyou for this. Ive delt with alot of people not being able to understand me
FairytaleAsylum 2 years ago 12
Same
EllieNashFan14 2 years ago 3
you not alon.
sasorigirl154 2 years ago 4
This is really an admirable video. It's sort of alien to me HOW they describe some things but when they describe others it's like 'oh, yeah, that's how I feel and what happens with me'
AltAnna 2 years ago
I never realized that me cutting was an addiction, even though I've done it for five years. I realize now, I need help, but i dont know how to get it. or even ask for it for that matter.
korienikolenolan 2 years ago 2
i no exactly what you mean. i did it for two years before i finally got help. and the first people i went to were my friends. i've never had more support from anyone, but them. if they are you "True" friends they will always be there for you to help you. It took me some time to tell them, but when I did, I felt so much better. You should try talking to them. It might help. :]
BlackDragon2067 2 years ago
go to ur general practicioner(doctor) he/ she can refere u to the experts.
suicidal78688 2 years ago
a youtube video has never touched my heart the way this one did.
thank you
hannahXheroin 2 years ago
I've been cutting for 3 years. And I went to my school counselor to seek help and she told me I was just desperate for attention. You seek help and people judge you. But I have been 4 months without cutting. I'm extremely proud of myself. But it is so hard to not do it. Its like locking away alcohol from an alcoholic. Its tough
Luv4Eva2U 2 years ago 8
they dont understand us i went for help like u all they did was send me around the school and i finally found some1 who try to help i ended up talkin to some therapist he called and that bitch got me hospitalized all i wanted was ta go back ta therapy some1 ta tell my parents ta let me go back they saw my arm cover in cuts and blood thats all that bitch saw she dint even talk to me all i wanted was ta talk not be judge by som cuts if i wanted ta kill myself i would of try again n not gone 4 help
MyRedBlade99 2 years ago 9
hay guys,
i watched this dvd after self harming 4 about 7 or 8 yrs and this realy helped me to uderstand i want the only one out there i have bin fighting the battel for the passe yr and a half i have relapsed a few times but am oin verry well if eny one would like to talke to me or ask for help i am willing to shere my story with u guys good luck and dont let ppl get u down they dont understand x
donnagroves1989 2 years ago
i've been a cutter for about ,
2 years , i didn't think i was addicted untill rougly january , this year
all i wouldn't think about was cutting
covering it up , and worried how bad it would be this time , but i can't help myself , i need to
i do it almost everynight , but on my legs i keep it isolated , to my thighs , but i need help , i'm running out of skin ,
slytherin0queen 2 years ago
Help, 3 years, Im soo adiicated.
I dont liek it wenppl say ur attention seeker, coz i try and hide it soo bad.
N i feel shitty . Why dus everything av to rip out my heart :( ..
This video is soo meaninfull its beautfull...
Heeeeellppppp </3</3 </3 </3
XGangstaxHannieX 2 years ago
''it's like being in a tornado like in the wizard of oz, and the only way you can calm things is by cutting yourself''
That makes so much sense.
Hanatbh 2 years ago 8
i have a friend who is a self harmer but i dont understand why she does it she has a happy life with no traumatising incidents and as i am not a self harmer myself i dont ghet why people do it so i just want someone to help understnad just a little bit so that i can try and help her and i dont want to affend any self harmers
princess2094 2 years ago
i need some advice my fdriend is a self harmer but i still dont no why she does it she has a good life good friends supportive family and as far as i know she hasnt had any traumatic experiances i just want to help her can anyone help i know that because i am not a self harmer i will never really get why people do it but it would help if i could understand a little bit
princess2094 2 years ago
Thanks ! The video is AMAZING .
I've been self harmer for 2 years and a half now ..I think I've been through for all at this point . I just took about 4 months until I understand that I was addicted .. and then I tried to stop . I work so hard for that but I just can't . I gave up two months ago . And before that my old sister discovered .. I just told her to shut up and I yell at her, she'll not tell to anybody .. so Im fine =P
maybe someday I'll be okay .. =)
thanks for this video .
Filipaakaulitz 2 years ago 4
Thanks ! The video is AMAZING .
I've been self harmer for 2 years and a half now ..I think I've been through for all at this point . I just took about 4 months until I understand that I was addicted .. and then I tried to stop . I work so hard for that but I just can't . I gave up two months ago . And before that my old sister discovered .. I just told her to shut up and I yell at her, she'll not tell to anybody .. so Im fine =P
maybe someday I'll be okay .. =)
thanks for this video .
Filipaakaulitz 2 years ago
It becomes addicting. Like, soon EVERY LITTLE THING to upset you or ruin your day, you run to your dresser drawr. It's hard. If you ever think about self harming, and havent yet. Take it from us self harmers and do whatever it takes not to.
mansonisgod13 2 years ago 2
OMG I think I know Fiona! Does she morris dance? 1:20
DZrache 2 years ago
Satveer's description of the A&E experience and the "anxiety and depression that comes along after self-harm" was really quite refreshing. I agree wholeheartedly with her comments.
I share that 'fear' of getting help and being afraid of those that can probably help. It's been about nine years for me now. I'm beginning to ask for help.
The DVD looks ever so interesting, I'd have loved to have been a part of it. Well done!
shalli01 2 years ago
I just came across this video today. This is the first time I have seen something about self harm that didn't make me roll my eyes because this film seems to actually portray how so many of us feel. Thank you.
heatherandkaren 2 years ago
I totally agree with the woman who speaks last about the stereotypical mental health patient - i'm a model, suffering from mental illness/self harm and i have come across this during my time in hospital and also with friends and family, they seem to think because you wear lipstick and look after your appearence that obviously you are not really ill - it kind of freaks them out.
Jezabellexxxx 2 years ago
idk if many people from the US know about this, but they should. Self Harm is so taboo here.....Thanks for making this video
xxMakeYouLoveME 3 years ago 2
the guy at the beginning talking about his head feeling like a whirlwind described exactly how i feel just before i SH. thanks for this video, really got through to me :)
terri120 3 years ago
i was in tears watching this lool its good to hear words from a harmers view for once. i myself am a harmer but i dont get any help, no one in my family knows, i wish to tell them but im to terrified. just hope this documentry sheds some light to me and push me to get helpp
sidebumz 3 years ago
it has a good feeling of healing :)
shallwethen 3 years ago
This video made me cry. I watched it and as someone who was an extreme self harmer it hit really close to my heart.
sublimebutterfly 3 years ago
i really agree with what fiona says but i hardly understand satveer. i got the first part with going to the hospital but i couldnt understand what she was saying the secound time.
anyway, i can really relate to what they say and i feel exactly like they do. i think they are beyond brave to talk about self harming cos its something really private and a taboo in our society.
elliganzweitweg 3 years ago
it's interesting that some self-harmers do it for attention, and what people need to realize is that wanting attention isnt a bad thing. people want someone to look out and care for them especially when they're feeling down. ive seen people look down on self-harmers for the fact that they do it for attention, but no one should be scrutinized for wanting love, concern, and affection. excellent video.
xXxhybridmeteoraxXx 3 years ago
The stuff about hospital treatment definitely struck a chord with me.
Besides the point if mental health (and crisis) services were better people would be less likely to end up in A&E, it's ridiculous that people who choose to drink or play dangerous sports are treated with respect compared to self-harmers.
The fact is depression, anxiety and the rest of the mental spectrum are serious illnesses, and people are bound to be injured or ill in the process. Keep holding on.
WattyTV 3 years ago
I'm 1 year, 7 months and 23 days self-injury free. I loved this trailer for your DVD and will definitely be looking to purchase it if you are able to send it internationally.
Dimruthien 3 years ago
I think this is briliant, some of the things they said really stuck a chord with me, as a self harmer.
niveacool1 3 years ago 50
Hi, I don't really understand self-harm, but I'll be sharing this video with friends and family. Even this short one has given me a bit more empathy and willingness to understand.
eggvip 3 years ago
As a person who used to self-harm, I really see where you guys are coming from & what you're trying to achieve & it really is amazing.
Keep it up. Loved the video.
BelindaTree 3 years ago 36
hey there, its Joy (I had contact with Harmless last year in Nottingham). Just wanted to say thanks for the video... The speakers really articulated well what goes through someone's head at the point of self-harm. Really well-made video. Keep up all the great work you guys are doing!!
fighting2bfree 3 years ago 9
Hi Joy,
It's great to hear from you and your comments about the video. I'm glad that you like it, and I hope that you are well!
harmlessUK 3 years ago
Song is 'Let it snow' by Tom Clelland, from the album 'Little Stories'. You can get it on amazon.
Tom gave his music to the project for free - Thank you Tom!
harmlessUK 3 years ago
I love the song in this. Does anyone know what its called?
x
xxyournameherexx 3 years ago
Love the preview,can't wait to see the full thing
sofaraway04 3 years ago 2