Achmed, the dead terrorist (Jeff Dunham)

[iTrXzZ]

they still call me a terrorist :D

[toni116]

you idiot you dont have an ass !!

[TheGreenGummyBear121]

Wait! I could have Clay Aiken!

[XxHoPeNaToRxX]

"Are you kidding , I'll keel you for a klondake bar!" XD

LOL

[AuditionGuy258]

infidel

[xXDuskPawXx]

2:30 son of a bitch! What the Hell!

[allmecht]

whre´s the part with the honda prius gone?

[dodgeguy13]

knock knock

who's there?

Me! I kill you!

[swfu2roblox]

@dodgeguy13 oh yea i kill u instead lol

[lilmiss306]

a

c

fleeeeemch

(: lawl.

[KersyBoo]

I love him <3

[maggieificationable]

STOP TOUCHING MEHHH!!

[123musicmonkey]

hey ever think osama bin ladin laughed at this guy

[3xXtaytayXx3]

hello, can you hear me no- "poof"

lol

[Raghad1M]

this is really dumb and stupid -__-

[X3aboorahX]

LOOOOOOL his beard , i'm in love with him

[natalialuvsuall]

Walter fart!!!!!silence i kill uuu!!!!

he is so gay

[natalialuvsuall]

what the H'-00 happended to my feet

u son of a b*&^$ what happened

STOP TOUCHING MEEE!!!

I NEED SOME LIGIMENTS!!!!

[OliviaMe2You]

premature detination... you know what that's like right, mr hurricanneee...

[ITSOVER9000ish]

Achmed: I set the timer for thirty minutes but it went off in four seconds. You know what that's like, right?

Me: Burn!

[stephenfont]

Achmed:if i'm dead i get my 72 virgins T_T are u my virgins god i hope not:Jeff why

Achmed:if u r then i been screwed

[stephenfont]

he has gass

[stephenfont]

silence i keel u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lilman4899]

I need to see him

[Lilman4899]

That is the best show ever

[Danceluver7789]

jeff: so what was the last thing that went through you head?

Achemed:My ass

ahhh gotta love jeff dunham :)

[Halomaster261]

STOP TOUCHING ME fav part

[SelcukTheLqnd]

U idiot u don't have an ass

[vebgra]

goooooood evening..... infiiiiiiiiidel

[AK47Money1]

enih



[LilChicOf2011]

check on my ass it says made in china-LOOOL

jokes!! :p

[jhawkFUN]

What the hell happened to my feet. Son of a bitch what the hell. STOP TOUCHING ME!! I KILL YOU. OK wait what are you doing holy crap I'm in the air wait, wait something is backwards holy crap. I NEED SOME LIGIMENTS

[jhawkFUN]

@jhawkFUN Part cracks me up.

[susanccyrus]

dat is funny

[randomshuffler23]

What the hell happend to my feet, STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!, I>>>>KILL>>>>>YOU!!!!

[joejoesx]

Yay, just got like 1000.

[thejoker234567]

jeff dunham is funny

[MrPrestoman]

55 people were run over by a frikin lawn mower

[killjoy2137]

New guy= fire marshal bill

the truth has been revealed

[Nyrikkii]

"I set the timer for 30 minutes but it went off in four seconds .... You know what that's like, right?"

[matefeedkillrepeat45]

500

[frankrulez8395]

I hacked up something awful trying to pronounce his name

[skarmark1]

achmed killed 54 people lol

[JustineEIsnor95]

`wut the hell happend to my feet?` hahahaha ```son on a bitch`` XD

[johnnycash1022]

AAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO!­!!!!!!!!  I'm Lindsay Lohan!!!!!!!!!!

[Charlee123me]

6:34 Nock Nock,... Whos there... ME I KILL OYU! haha xx

[DaddysPrincess148]

ELLOOOOOOOO I AM LINDSEY LOHAN!!!!!!!!!!! i love a part where he says " Achmed are you a musalem?" "Hell No Have You Looked On My ASS It Says Made In China" HA HA HA HA HA

[VolleyballChicka716]

"You racist bastard!" "I did the same thing with 2 Catholic priests but I tossed in a small boy..and the winner had to fight Michael Jackson!!"

hahahaha...God...Allah..whatev­er...I love Achmed!!

[jollyranchersism]

omg this is so funny

[G04SK8]

Imagine if Achmed comes to your house:

Achmed: Knock Knock!

You: Who's there ?

Achmed: Me! I kill you!

[sademogirl423]

ELLOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I AM LINDSEY LOHAN!

[aaron98a]

Wait...If I'm dead, that means I get my 72 virgins...O_O...Are you my virgins?...I hope not...Why?...There's a bunch of ugly ass guys out there...(O)_(O)...HAHAHA >:D

[ZillionMuffin]

51 people got a flesh wound

[MegaMr46]

Silence! Achmed Keeled 51 People!

[pandapuppylover1]

today i i lost my flash drive for a school project i said god dammit then my mom Hey i was like oh i mean allah dmmit

[xXDjPokkiieeXx]

your dead.

what.? no im not. i feel fine..

but... your all bone..

its a flesh woond.

[piratekid321]

@xXDjPokkiieeXx thanks i didnt get it the first time

[Trickishismael360]

God damn it!! Oh oh... I mean Allah damn it.

[xEAGL3Sx]

this is osama

[bnpsullivan]

Were looking for some idiots with no future

[bnpsullivan]

Oh thats easy, they open the suitcase and I say" Elloooooooooo I am Lindsay Lohan!"

[igottarestartthis23]

silence!!! i kill uu achmed thats what i said no u said achme its acccc how do u spell it a lets see ac flemch

[mcgiggity69]

"ohh I love Bu-...oh you mean the President! I'm sorry!" XD

[CoolioRockstar]

"Hello, Im Lindsay Lohan!" XD

[GeorginaArapi]

heeheehee funny!!!

[ILovePenesula]

" What the hell happened to me feet?!? Son of a Bitch!!!.... Holy Crap I'm In The Air!!!!"

[parkourtraceuses]

sudm's musterd gas is nothing compared to walter's farts

what you don't let jews in your bar? you rasist basterd ha ha ha lol this is so awsome and funny achemed is the greatist!

[Cooki3Gurl0705]

"im kiding i would not kill the jews, no i would toss a penny between them and watch them fight to d death, hahaha yes yes i did the same thing with 2 catholic priest but i tossed in a small boy, hahaha yes yes and the winner had 2 fight Michel Jackson " LMFAO

[MrKingofevil]

LMAO ... this is so awesome :D

[NovaSpec17]

48 people know what good humor is

[legokid785]

lol "How do you spell it?" "WHAT!?" "How do you spell your name?" "Ugh... let's see, A-C-PHLEGM" LOL

[DanGerMiel]

"It's a fleshwound."

Well now... is that a rip-off OF or a shout-out TO Monty Python's Black Knight? ;)

[TheNarutoguy59]

XD

" I had a pre-mature detonation. I set the timer for 30 minutes, but it went off in 4 seconds. You know what that's like right?"

[coolomarmukhtar]

his name is acflimch

[IESHAROX2010]

If your dead....... WHY CAN YOU HAVE VIRGINS

[donahuesrock]

wow

[kfdyy]

(insert funny quote from video to get thumbs up)

[TheArachnoid]

Um. . .I did laugh at some but some of it was kinda. . .awkward. 

[BoredInfinitely]

"do i scare you now?" No. "GOD DAMMIT!.... sorry i i mean ALLAH DAMMIT!"

[Gideonslc]

It was a premature detonation... you know what that's like don't you? Mr Hurricane?!

[omgpushplay8]

oh achmed

[ljk65]

what was the last thing that went through your mind

MY ASS!

[beasto90]

its so funny i pee'd in my friken pants

[darkfairyhauntsu]

XD his ass went through his mind first!

[Calzified]

"And the winner had to fight Michael Jackson!"

I'm a Michael Jackson fan, but I gotta admit, that is some funny shit.

[1gwenfan]

Id Kill you for a Klondike Bar.

[daxling12]

why the hell do people quet the damn youtube video itsso freaking annoying!

[mileysoroxmesox]

HOLLY CRAP IM IN THE AIR!

[austinronnie]

this is the hardest thing to watch in youtube history

[rob2fresh]

Achmed: Knock Knock!!

Jeff: Who's there?

Achmed: Me....... I kill you!!

[GeorginaArapi]

@rob2fresh I loved that quote! HEEHEE

[dogluv3r22]

silence! i kill you! lol love that part <33

[maromma]

I don't think you need to be 'anti Islam' to enjoy this. Just stupid enough to laugh 'silence. I kill you' every 30 seconds.

Racism doesn't come into it....

[mahamza86]

Stop blaming this terrorism to Islam, Terrorists aren't Muslims, they use Islamic terms to disgrace Islam, they are actually not even human beings.

[XxGoldenStrikeXx]

im muslim and this is very funny

[wizardohjero]

@XxGoldenStrikeXx u gotta have a sense of humor this isnt racist in any way i loved it from begining to end lol

salaam

[develz]

Anybody who needs to channel his comedic ability through an inanimate fucking puppet shouldn't be allowed to do stand-up.

[oblivion7986]

when they open the case i say hello i am linzy lohan

[Lonelismist]

Wait. I don't get the Lindsay Lohan joke. Can someone please explain ? =]

[jakeriddoch]

@Lonelismist Lindsay Lohan has a reputation for being very skinny (or anorexic) - therefore, for a skeleton to pretend to be Lohan is taking the piss out of her skinniness

[oblivion7986]

lol wut the hell happened to my feet.....STOP TOUCHIINNGG MEEEE.....I KIILL UU

[wendyjuh12]

They open the case and I go "Hellooo! I am Lindsay Lohan! xD

[thabasum23]

i literally went "ooooooohhhhh" outloud at the catholic priests joke

[malsoft3d]

so achmed

no no its acHHmed

thats what i said

no you said akmed its achmed h hh hhhhh

silence I KILL YOU!

how do you spell it

what???!!

how do you spell your name?

well lets see A C FLAME HH

[Keylibella]

"GOD DAMMIT!!! Wait, no I mean, ALLAH dammit" xD

[MuzziDomination]

Awsome man.... Look at akhmed scared from the old guy lol

[awesome100able]

are u my 72 virginsi hope not why? because theres some ugly ass guys out there LMAO

[usamatexas]

Wut u don't let jews in your parkh...... you racist!!!

hahahahaha

[scoobyrds]

HELLOOOOOO!!! I AM LINDSAY LOHAN!!

[mightygreenm]

And the winner had to fight Michael Jackson!

[gilbert89209time]

SILENCE!! i kill you!

[247babycakes]

fra fra fra bitches

[jullietamelody28]

me i kill you lol

[VetteMonte]

Are you kidding, I;d kill you for a Klondike bar.

[uZuMaKi777z]

LOL, "For example, the Washington Monument, it looks nothing like the guy... it looks like a tribute to Bill Clinton!" After a whole year, I just got the joke. Heh.

[lucia56605]

r u my virgins i hope not

[Spock103]

A..... C.... Phlem

[Dragonenforcer15]

Please do not put me in the same suitcase as him...! Why? He has gaaaaass... XD

[JackRabbit894]

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Me. I kill you!"

[honeycombedlite]

this is just hilarious!

[ajr4ever14]

are you kidding me,,,,,,, i kill you for a klondike bar

[bdogsfootball24]

ok 2 jews walk into a bar.....

[halo3pownstar6199999]

Are you kidding me i keel u for a klondike bar lol

[StoneCold1998GTA]

lol god damn it u u u i mean ALLAH DAMN IT THATS THE BEST BIT LOOL

[needa66762]

SILENCE I KILL YOU!

[BrKiD88]

@needa66762 its keel

[deathofhalfaheart]

LMFAO I love Achmed, Jeff Dunham is awesome XD

'Do you see a white light?'

'Only if you're dumb enough to look at the explosion.'

[skullz648]

haha this vid funny silence i kill u

[videowithmeaning]

This isn't evne funny. It just plays on the American ideas of terrorist stereotypes. Its basically just propaganda put into a comedy act. This kind of comedy is way to easy to do because people will laugh because it's attacking something they don't like, without even being satirical about it. It's just reinforcing these viewpoints.

[ahboyzxcc]

uh i love bu. oh you mean the president! LOL

[InvisibleComedian1]

Wait... if I'm dead, that means I get my 72 virgins!

[smasher2441]

@InvisibleComedian1 are you my virgins? i hope not :)

[vonicius90]

@InvisibleComedian1

not but until now you get 51

[InvisibleComedian1]

What kind of terrorist are you?

"A terrifying.... terrorist..."

[rockbandnerd100]

Are u scared? No, not really. Arrrggh.

And now? No, not really. Oh "Arrrggh".

How about now? No, not really.

[thecodmaster22]

@InvisibleComedian1

I mean "Allah Dammit

[tomz67123]

So r u Muslim? No. Your not? No ofcourse not, look at my ass it says made in china!

LMFAO

[TheBakuGirl1]

Look, if you've been in my suitcase all this time, how have we been getting through security at the airports? Oh, that's easy... They open the case and I go "Hellooo! I am Lindsay Lohan!" Jeff Dunham and Achmed are a incredible together! xD

[CitrusTheFool]

"And the winner had to kill michael Jackson" LMAO

[gokudomatic]

to fight Michael Jackson, not to kill him.

[tomdissonance]

incredibly shit

[futurecomic75]

"what was the last thing you saw?"

"i saw flying car parts."

[pontuskevin1337]

HHAHAHAHAHi can do knock knock jokes ? probaly better, okay, knock knock! whos there? Me i kill you! ::dddddddddddddddddddddddddddd­ddddddddd

[rahmantheblazer1]

.

funny lol slince i kill u

[aquadias]

I don't care, I lol'd.

[Fiamma64]

Are you kidding me I'd kill you for a klondike bar

[gogetyourverb]

YOU IDIOT YOU DONT HAVE AN ASS!!!!

[Taaharehman]

Boo you idiot

[toybot123]

this is too funny XD

[getalife77767]

love this video and got this saying stuck in my head "I KELL YOU" i keel you for a klondike bar

[BlueSpy545]

arabs can say K not akh

[beautubestar]

hilarious.x

[cinnawaffls]

"Mr Hurricane"

After 2 years I FINALLY understood the joke. =P

[DoctaWhoFan101]

I cant and its been 3 for me

[cinnawaffls]

The way I understood it, the "premature detenation" is equal to "Premature ejaculation".

And Achmed was probably saying Jeff either whacks off and cums before he should or he cums before he gets any real action with some chick.

Anyways, great video

[Ne0nLiteZ]

explain

[cinnawaffls]

Dude, if you read my second post, I already explained.

[paigey89]

You Dont Let Jews In Your Bar....You Racist Bastard

Helloooooo, Im Lindsay Lohan.

PSML!

[bluebablue]

oh holy crud i think i blew my head offf!!

Thats from christmas special

[DoctaWhoFan101]

Its

 oh holy Crap i fink i blew my foot of

[terikippe]

5-10 to 5-20 lol

[nazarzozo]

muslims are not terrorists why yall think dat they are

[paigey89]

beucase almost every terroist wears a turban and wants to tae over the world with muslim babies.

[papagalop]

-Knock-knock.

-Who's in?

-Me.I KIIL YOU!

ahahhahahahahahahah laughed to DEATH!!!!!!!!!

[megatrongal]

STOP TOUCHING MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

[gamesmaster90]

All you idiots who commented, why do you feel that you have to keep repeating these crap jokes. This is a load of racist ignorant unfunny shit!!

[manbearpigfoo]

god dammit! uhh.. i mean Ala dammit lol

[juankaloko123]

hello!!! I'M LINDSAY LOHAN!! XDD

[urbanfilms1]

and the winner had to fight michael jackson XD

[tabrismacbeth]

Wait, this is Jeff Dunham. What's this doing in "Comedy"?

-Tabris

[slyfox43]

i took that verzion bastard with me hahah mna i would of loved to see that hahaha

[noah0928]

Rofl and wolverine32 who cares they are deAd he doesn't care anymore he's dead oh and here's a small boy roflmao

[zimbe2712]

hahah! i:

soooo funny! xD

[miloo8997]

Good evening Infedel......SILIENCE I KILL YOU!

ELLO I AM LINSY LOHAN!