Feedback to this video? I was "too lazy to live" until I built a solid relationship with my now fiancee. I was motivated to respect myself, love myself as much as he loves me and in turn I became an active and healthy perdon. I'm not co-dependant, but being with people and having good communication helped me learn more about myself and I found the desire of betterment deep in me. The desire to better yourself cant be given to you by a doctor, you have to find it by your own.
@bluefroggies5 No offense but take the initiative, go get what you want. Don't wait for happiness to fall into your lap. Don't expect the man to do it alone.
You have enlightened on the most important thing in this life is healthy relationships between human beings but I wonder why people not giving weights to those other than money or what money can buy. Thank you-Dr.RMJB Ratnayake
my dad, the man that has always been there for me is growing old and i never got the chance to pay him back for all he did for me. and when i look at people like paris hilton and Simon cowl spending in a day what my family makes in a year, why would anyone bother with anything. at the end of the day your friends and woman that is with you would rather be with them and your contribution doesn't make the slightest difference. its not always the persons fault, sometimes nothing goes right.
i also got rejected by the only girl i ever cared about. after i got over her it happened again with another girl. so i guess psychology doesn't save any bodies life. sometimes life just finds another way to screw you over. i know people keep saying there is plenty of fish in the sea, i think they are just native, they have never been disappointed thats why they believe opportunities are so abundant. maybe it is for them, but those are the lucky ones.
i do not fear people nor am afraid of failure. i think that those situations made me very cautious and nerves. i have never had a permanent job either. so relationships with people can have a lot of influence on your over all life experience. for me things went wrong the day i moved to UK. also i had a lot of dreams and ambitions and when i saw what the people of UK were like, i was also deluded. i guess we all fight for each other, and when there is no one to fight for, everything just stops.
i agree with this whole relationship idea. nearly 90% of all the problems in my life is nothing to do with my lack of effort, confidence or any disability or fear of rejection. i moved to UK over 10 years ago and as i attended my first year in my new school, i was bullied and harassed by the other kids. i was a victim of racism. 10 years later i have never been able to establish strong relations with anyone because i generally just hate people.
I am the smartest man to ever enter existence because I have a P.H.D.
Your brains are all inferior to mine, I am a therapist and within 5 minutes of meeting you I know every single thing about you, I know if your mama breast fed you, I know what you did last summer, I know who you fucked on vacation 14 years ago, and I know about that time you shit yourself in public.
I know EVERYTHING because I went to college longer then anybody else.
@thedirtynasty So what good will that do me? Would you uncover the hidden secrets that, unlocked, can turn me into a superhero? If so, you will earn your wages!!!
@Inteligento: I understand your point, but it looks like maybe you could use LESS of an ego. "Your overconfidence is your weakness" - Luke Skywalker (to the evil Emperor, no less). I can safely say (guarantee?) that when you finally come down from your pedestal (and you will), you'll need people, and no one's going to want to be there for YOU. Running away from people is not running away from loneliness, it's running toward it - Sol Justice (808)
@blackrainbowusmc(cont): only) a few people in life that you can trust. It takes years, sometimes decades, to develop an everlasting trust with someone. Once you learn/realize you can have true faith in the person, you can rest/sit back with ease knowing you've made/found that connection... that we ALL need (despite what SOME people say). I hope I helped.
@blackrainbowusmc: I feel you, man, but my advice is to learn from the mistake of trusting the WRONG girl/person. Don't distrust and alienate everyone/anyone, just shield yourself better and learn who to trust and who not too. I don't know how long your relationship was, but we all learn, most times the hard way, that there are (sometimes
I am 13 and I am a girl. I do have some friends but they only hang out with me @ school really. And they aren't that trustable. like my main friend (the one I hang out with the most) cuts herself and has lots of problems with life. I do have a really good friend that is a boy and I like him more than a friend so I am nervous to go and sit with him or call him. I am a very shy person too. my grandma said she feels bad for me cuz I need a friend I can have girl talk with,
I'm 20 and i think i fit in the category of people who don't 2 many friends in their life., i'm a reserve person who ( introverted by nature) i sometimes find it very difficult to mingle with people. My friends are not so many. WHAT DO U THINK.
I can appreciate that there is a lot of truth in this video but problems arise when previous relationships have fallen apart acrimoniously. For me this has created a negative feedback cycle where I am far les trusting than I was when younger.
It's a natural tendency to avoid close friendships and sexual intimacy when you've allowed people in before only to realise that they were using you. Becoming assertive and developing a tough skin around a sensitive ego is the only solution.
The more self actuated you are the less you need others. Short of infirmity, disease, poverty, or oppression; lack of intimacy is only debilitating if one suffers from lack of ego. Our reason for living is the stimulation we get from thinking others need us or put another way is to have our ego stroked . That is why we have an undying need to contribute to society. No stimulation equals no need to live.
well its a great video. ofcourse intimacy leads you to go high and high in the life. reading the many comment and also in best of my to many human r not able to form some stable relationship. how can we help humanity is this aspect. best of luck .
relationships lead u to broken hearts girls cheat and always look for greed.,, fuck! i just hang with sluts now and mov on to the next girl. i will never open up to any girl again i was faithful but she failed and i can never trust again.
I've had no "real" friends for literally about 5 years now. I am almost 19 years old.
Past friends from elementary school and such like you mentioned about your 5th grade friend, they just stopped being friends with me for no real reason. so.. oh well. I have no one. not really anyone my age I can just go to talk to.
I enjoyed this video because it talks about what really happens in our lives. I mean, when we are in love, when we have someone to share everything, we feel stronger, we can face and win the life's troubles and also if we become healther. Nothing is better than having a faithful friend.
I call it the power of love. God didn't creat the man to stay alone. We all need each other.
Him being able to share his inner feelings and experiences helped him understand his past more. Most of all, he saw that there was someone out there who cared about him, and wanted to listen. Since then, he has improved immensely. He isn't suicidal or depressed. At this moment, he is working on a better relationship with his mom, along with encouragement from me. Being able to be close and intimate with just one other person helps so much. One last thing: he knows that I love him, too ;)
This is video is very very true, because I would know. When I first met my boyfriend, he was suicidal, emotionally unstable, and depressed. I helped him with that by talking through his past, one of which was not very joyful or bright. He had just moved to another city and had a bad relationship with his mom. Knowing how hard this was on him, I asked him if he wanted to talk about it, and he did.
Good luck on the journey of writing your book. I happen to be someone who spends a great deal of time alone. I believe this has helped me go very deeply into my own self and develop my spiritual and intuitive side. My family structure was such that it encouraged me to be self sufficient. I could have chosen to let that weaken me, but instead I chose let it benefit me.
In my life now there are no many friends as I would wish. I used to live in another country where I had many friends but now -here it is not easy for me to find ones with whom I would share things. I am a sociable person and like people, I am open and sincere to people but that is not enough looks like. I guess because I am not like most of them they do not except me.
Wonderful! Radhia you are very intelligent person! And i think you have the ability to analyse people, their behavior, attitudes to different things, their relations and relationships. Almost all people dont have such giftedness as you do. I like it. for real! Thank You for sharing this video and talking to people!
Paradoxical, huh! Sweet soul gives exactly what they want! However, to gain reciprocation, consciously figure out how to challenge others' natural need for continued stimulation. My note here could be really helpful!
By routinely giving more than 82% of anything another expects, or wants, one communicates that s/he is down & out, a people-pleaser, & is fully expecting (used-to) being taken for granted, & is certainly strong enough to live in such pain, which happens. Below:
Attraction dissipates once a person intimately conquers over 82% of another. This is natural law in the ebb & flow of all dynamic relationships.
Simple weapons for reciprocation are:
~Keep attractive others flirting (the innocuous feelings in good-thought mate-jealousy play is healthy for both her & suitor.)
~Stay 18% uncooperative; this way authenticity & challenge remains ~ to tease growth into occurring thru a life of abiding happiness, especially with ones we care deepest about.
I am a person that struggles to build relationships. I find it hard to trust and I typically oly have a few close people I feel I can share with. My wife and I took on two foster children 4 months a go and it brought out he week areas in our relationship. I recently lost my Grnadmother, we were very close. My wife attempted suicide and has now left me. The boys are gone in which I bonded with and now my wife has taken one of our dogs in which I loved very much. I feel like I am losing everything
am not an expert, but l believe u should find something you love and do it. if u like travelling, then travel more often. if u want to bond with something, try a pet or get another foster kid. volunteer more. i think it will do you well.
however some of the quotes is where social conditiong has really brought the public to it's knees thinking that having a relationship will solve thei PROBLEMS, this is the easy way out. When really they should find out what their insecurities face them change them, have amazing social skills and abundance MUCH LOVE TO ALL
Good relationship=both mentally healthy and are not babies they can take care of themselves, they have emotions and control, they are secure because they have LIFE EXPERIENCE, they have social skills to meet new people in their life and new women if they so choose, they are no longer isolated, This is the key to all things and finding love within life not external things with in yourself......
Hi Radhia I admire your writing a book etc, I don't beleive that it iis wise or HEALTHY TO RELY on someone else for your own emotional and physical stability you and I both know that is not beneficial for the individual. If one can control ones self then that is the key then he can concentrate on bringing love to a relationship instead of being A NEEDY INSECURE GUY, theres nothing attractive about that!
Yeah I think "Lazy" might be accusative, because it implies that "Everything people need for happiness is laid out before everyone in equal measure, any obstacles that may exist are of equal hindrance to everyone, and happiness is right here for you if only you'd stop making excuses and being so damn lazy"
And I do not think that is accurate, though I agree with a lot of points made in Radhia's video's, and espouse optimum dietary and alternative health options, but there are variables that
interfere with people's ability to make choices that would improve their lives or get involved or reach potential, variables that require closer attention to particular personal circumstances and honest acknowledgment, life is problematic and a lot of things are out of our control or sneak up on us, as well as none of us being perfect...so to say "Laziness" I don't know if that is the best word to inflict on people who are in the midst of an unhealthy, unenlightened life, non ideal circumstances
Hi, this is a very touching video. My health deteriorated right about the time a childhood friend decided to no longer maintain our friendship. After that I felt lonely as I no longer had that feedback thing happening. Interesting.
not to say there is anything wrong with love , you need love to stay sane , you need it to stay insane as well . but love is great , and a necessity in a way . so crack open a cold one , cause you're a loser .
i don't understand what the question is , sex is a product of hormones . a relationship is the delusion that - well you love someone so you'll be together and happy with them forever . as lovely as that sentiment is , rarely is it a reality . but you try anyway because it's the right thing to do , settle down from your teenage years of sexual experimenting , and ignore all the problems that you'll be facing for the rest of your worthless life.
AlanKeyes has some good points here. Men do wanna fuck the SHIT outta as many hot women as possible. I don't care if the women has PhDs, money, status - if they're hot, fruitfully fertile lookin.. chances are I'm gonna try and fuck 'em :) But once a man is content sexually, there is surely also an emotional need - even in us men.
id do or say anything regardless if its true or not just to lick pussy and fuck , its the way men are programmed by nature
For Men our primary goal is to Fuck as many hot women as we possibly can , i couldnt care less about a womans personality or what she says, my main goal is to fuck her and move on to next woman and just keep on Fucking
Hey hun, the only difference between u and i is that im honest . Truth is and admit it, you love to get fucked and have alot of hot steamy lustful sex !
admit it, you and i are no different, you want to get Laid just as much as i do.
I agree that we want to fuck, but it's not just men...women want to fuck too. Also, it's not practical to fuck as many hot women as you possibly can unless you can get it every single day. If you can't get it every single day, it's better to have just one, loyal girlfriend or wife that you love and get along with so you can fuck her whenever you want.
To VitalSigns1, AlanKeyes2, greatgiginthesky2739, mysticalpaladin.
I acculy find it more learning to read what you guys think(and so does I) is logical mutch more learning then hearing the old granny nag on about some things that you allready know. I also think that we are made to fuck and make our race survive. So why does almost all humans put on a "blindfold" and think it's non-humanistic and not fitting for society?
They say that it is animalistic to fuck when we feel like it... well,duh! we are animals, in fact we are the highest developed animal existing on earth becuse we fuck so mutch so our race won't die out. It is pure instinct, so why do people think it's unnatural to do so? why are you marked as a "perv" just becuse you fallow your instincts and your true meaning on this planet of ours? why is it a bad thing to fuck? why does the bible and the church think it's satanistic to do it b4 marrige?
Well I understand your point to a degree, Sex is natural, and shouldn't be something that should be attached to extreme feelings of guilt or fear, but like anything there can be consequences for reckless or thoughtless or destructive sexual behavior, like intentionally overstepping a partners sexual/psychological boundaries, or having multiple partners and passing on STDs, or sleeping with someone else's partner...sex deals with strong primal emotions and influences the social fabric..
I agree that consenting adults who want to practice sexual freedom should be able to do so without being judged, nor do I agree with people who think a vigorous sex life is evil or "satanistic" but sex like anything is problematic in many different ways, and you cant ignore some of the negative consequences of reckless, mindless, immature, or abusive sides that can transpire within human sexuality.
after all I said, I do agree that there are ways in which people in our society can be very oppressive when it comes to issues of sexuality, I gotta say that also...in addition to the other comments..
these things where nicely and well said catgumart. :) I understand your argue and the more I read it the more I like it ^^ well, there are some bad sides of sex but it's also for evryone to experiance and not to have a parent or a reletive to say it's wrong to have sex before you are married. My cousin and his family is in a god religous group and it says clearly in their "laws" that you shall not have intimate sexual relasionship before marrige. you know what? my cousin went against that :P
Just like some of your patients I spend a lot of my time engaging in self destructive thoughts. I don't have family, friends or a mate. So I find myself doing it quite a bit.
Even when I have had all of the above, they weren't ever good for me. They weren't supportive. So even while I had them I engaged in self destructive thoughts because they made me feel bad for being me.
Even though I want to be close to others, it's better this way. I don't have so many voices telling me I'm wrong.
I love you. You and everything that makes you, you. Understand that you are special and unique. You have something to offer people, the world, everyone, even me! Until you love yourself, and do not seek other people's approval for your own happiness, is when you will find love.
I have been through some horrible relationships and finally I sat down and asked myself what do I really need, not want and now I have someone that truly shares my life, instead of ingratiating me into their life.
A person with many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Keep you hopes and you pants up people and don't define your self by your relationships :P
Work on being the kind of friend you want to have. The rest will work its self out.
I have a boyfriend and we have been together for a year and a month, we love each other but one thing is, he lives far away...I feel longing to meet him, there is a chance I'll be able to meet him next March Break, but if I cant go to where he is...I feel like I'll go crazy...I am in Canada and he is in Nevada, USA....I want to feel his warm and loving embrace...and feel his kisses of love...that hope of seeing him is keeping me sane..but if I can't see him...I'll probably go insane.
Being able to make a contribution in life is the highest priority for me, above everything else. For the past years I have gradually isolated myself in an attempt to get ahead in work, which only resulted in major increasing depression. The ideal situation for me would be to find a partner that would understand because she has the same priority above me, just as I would above her. I believe having intimacy is essential to health, but it is not enough for me if I can't do my life's work.
Relationships and people are more important than work. If you spend your whole life isolating yourself from others by working to achieive something, when you finally get there you will have no one to share it with. Look for a partner or family first, and then you can journey through life WITH them, whether ending up successful or not. Things must be sacrificed for happiness.
i've also had intimate relationships with others where i have been used. for example when i was 16 i was raped by this guy i was in "love" with. now i can't have any relationships with guys. i haven't even kissed a guy in 3 years. i always push them away when they try and get close. i have no idea what to do. i'm tired of living in this bubble cut off from the world.
ever since i was a little girl (i'm now 19) i've had this social phobia i guess its called. i've always been sort of a loner, i never put myself out there to meet new people. i think its the whole rejection aspect. i'm also afraid to be hurt. i've had alot of family problems and that has also caused me to steer clear of any relationships.
I would say that in western industrialised societies, the primary relationships are economic. Due to mobility issues, family structures diminish and too much reliance for delivery of social, emotional and physical support is placed in the hands of a significant other. Quite often it's asking too much of one person to be everything to the other all the time.
What needs to be done is a different social paradigm. We are not just producers and consumers we are social biengs.
This made me depressed. Because I am still under the impression that anyone who seeks emotional support is weak and a failure to function.
I wonder where that came from. Either way, I know that I do long for companionship, however I am not only afraid, but rather turned off to the idea of perusing any relationship, intimate or not, because of such a large diversity in the way people are. People are scum. And I don't want scum in my life. So I'm alone, and I keep telling myself I like it.
I'm exactly the same, very dissapointed most of the time and going strong without anyone else :) Being considerate of others makes you end up being taken as a fool and stomped on. When I realize I'm getting that, I'm so pissed already I end up being too agressive. I'm living in almost complete isolation for a year now and altough I try to make new friends, I keep being pushed back by their egoistic attitude. Used to think it's me but now I just think the world is one big asshole :)
Yes, life sucks. But it's how we handle it that counts.
Being a millennium teen, straight out of the good side of hummingbird lane, I have no leg to stand on when I say that, but I say it anyway.
This is somewhat more for adults, but hey, words of wisdom can be from any source.
I eventually concluded what you said. People suck, (most of them), and I want to have nothing to do with them. I'm only worried about how much longer I can get away with that.
I believe that need for initmacy is a chemical phenomenon. If a male keeps his semen well dispelled via self-release using porn or such, they do not seek intimacy. I find it true in my experience. People say that is makes people sound like lab rats, but the fact remains. I feel that there are so many diseases and forms of damaging co-dependency around today and that intimacy is a great violation of personal security.
I've always been introverted and I also have social phobia. It makes really hard for me to date or just make friends with strangers. I have a few friends but I don't really feel connected to them. When I fell in love (which has happened twice so far) life became unbearable, because I couldn't get close to the person. I've been living alone for 3 years now, and I feel lonely many times. However I try to make the best of my independence but it's not the same to enjoy things on your own.
I'm really lonely and my "social web" is thin as air. My problem is that I don't find people who are "same kind as I" in mental level. I really feel like nobody understand my way of thinking or can see the world as I do. Why to speak if no one understands you? I get frustrated to this and I don't even want to try to share my world with someone. I have tried to do that but I haven't found anything good enouch to keep close to my heart. I'm female,23-years old and "doing ok" with my work/school.
I understand what u mean but sometimes eventhough people dont see things they way u do or think like you they can still be good freinds no matter how different they are. u should focus on the things u have in common instead of diffrences. it takes to to make a freindship, you cant just get frustrated when they dont understand u, u cant try to understand them or find something in common. good luck
Besides social phobia I also have bipolar. When I'm manic, I can leave my fears behind for a little while and at these times I can be really convincing. Though these occasions are rare. Other times when I'm at a party, a little alcohol can help me socializing but many times it just worsens my loneliness. It's easier for me to get to know people when I'm with my friends. It makes me very nervous and withdrawn when I'm alone at a party, but I always try cope with it somehow.
and family issues. rejection/acceptance issues(b/c of some family members long story). relationship issues. so yes, relationships = are key! ppl say i should 'change' or conform to society's standards when thats the LEAST thing i wanna do. but now, after my dad's death i see what life really is. its love/acceptance/appreciating lifes moments. im just contributing for your book and maybe you can offer tips to us lot. many thanks. :)
well im a non-conformist. been labeled a loner, in fact i literally am one now. dont hang out with friends ne more. i cut them off b/c well i saw through their charade and hypocrisy. i have no job, just a college student, mourning my dad's death. no desire to continue school. hate this american society but its the same everywhere else. ALWAYS had trouble maintaining friendships or making new ones. i have trust issues.
i agree with every ones comments! Lets see, I'm labeled a high school drop out, I have no car,no money,no job,no I.D,I'm stuck in a small town no one has ever heard of! I've been skateboarding for 10 years and thats all i got going for me! but this place holds me back from THE WORLD! i just wanna get out there and help people too... on the other hand. I still don't know whats right and whats wrong, It's almost as if everyone's minds are in reverse. Law of attraction? Or GOD? i bet ur an Aquarius
I am 28. In the last 4 years I went through a terrible break up with my girlfriend, my mother suffered a serious episode of bipolar disorder, my brother has been suffering from depression,I moved to my capital city, and my relationship status is worsening on all levels(family, friends, women etc). I can relate a lot to the video. Intimacy and being able to open oneself to another is great.
i was in austin for a long time, and now i'm in san antonio, and now i finally get your channel? hahahahaha, where were you when i need you,lol, well, i'll email you later
I'm in college now and recently ALL of my friends moved away and are going to different colleges. I'm trying to make new friends at work and school but find it extremely difficult to connect with others. I don't know why this is...
i meet new ppl everyday at certain places, like work or school, but not anywhere else, like book stores. in NY, i find it hard to meet ppl, because i take my time, and NY is rush, rush, rush!! it seems i'm never really satisfied with what i have, i always want see more. maybe its cuz im young.
I've never had a large quantity of friends but the friends I did have I considered really good ones that I could count on. After I got out of my 20's a few years ago our lives all started to change so much as did we. The differences have made it hard for us to connect anymore so those friendships are more distant and almost non exsistent. I wonder sometimes if that's just how our culture is these days or if it's a personal problem. Are all relationships destined to grow apart?
i have healthy relationships with lovers and friends, however i find it hard to make new friends. People often offend me with their conservtive values.
CAFECARO, I suspect you're just as judgemental as "conservatives". Conservatism is a natural inclination to resist change. Perhaps compassion for your more conservative acquaintances would yield more diverse relationships for yourself and expose others to your more liberal values. That is, if you're truly liberal and not just an intellectual snob.
WOW Jeremia!! That was downright mean and nasty! For one, my parents are very conservative and i love them dearly and understand their views. i dont think its fair for you to judge me even though you know nothing about me, my life and my struggles. Besides mt comment was for the video host.
hi i don't believe you will get back to me. However i have just gone through a divorce and i don't have any friends can't seem to get any and feel very depressed i'm doing a psycholoy class and enjoying it, however i am the oldest there at 33 and feel like an old man because i have lots of grey hair. Cant get any friends and just feel the lowest ever in my life yet i keep on smiling as if everyting is ok
It could always be worse, everyone goes through problems. Tommorow is a new day, suck it up and adapt. You only have yourself in this life you should be happy with it.
It was a curt opening to a bigger theme and I understand that, the curtness bothers me, I value your openness and value it as an opportunity for clear understanding.
Ok have you done previous prescribing because if have your expliotative process of asking me an individual a question asking if Im too lazy to live is post partum from and earlier medicated and sedative state in my life, my worst memory in life is mental health so I have given my choice over to pure dedicated strengthening of mental focus people will have to catch up sooner or later.ONe misdiagnosis crazy angry genius amongst many.
i don't usually trust people because i believe we are fundamentally evil...i have some friends and i am involved in a relationship (7years) but i don't rely on anyone, but myself.
Life is the only game in town. Though not perfect I like it. Being Human has its drawbacks but that is just more of what keeps life interesting, challenging and the good guys in there pitching.
after my mother died, I felt a profound lack purpose. I got grief symptoms that I never expected. I explained to hospice councelor that I had lost my enthusiasm for EVERY thing. Like 'it' (purpose) had all been an elusion, and now the naked truth was exposed to me. the harsh reality that there is no MEANING OF LIFE. we're born,then die..we die..thats what spoiled it for me. there is no REAL meaning in that context. I needed (SOMETHING) to live for, to believe in, to be needed (ah! the key!)
Fundamentally a lot of the issues covered in your book are a result of a lack of willpower and drive/commitment, aims and goals are needed to push on. It is easy enough to rationalise a decision, but difficult to implement it when lacking the necessary willpower/push. The root source of many mental and physical ailments is lack of self-belief. You need to want to help yourself in order to be helped, as a practitioner I'm sure you understand that. I came to this conclusion long ago.
I find that when I feel my life is not in balance, usually I am having a hard time with relationships. Whether it is a dependence upon one friend or lover, or when my family is disapproving of my choices, these rifts are usually at the core of all my problems. Right now I'm having difficultly getting into grad school, but since my relationships with others are doing well I don't feel so lost in the world.
What you talk about regarding relationships is also a zen attitude. By that I mean the idea of being one with all things. An intimate relationship allows you to be one with another person and by zen standards get a small taste of what it's like to realize that you are one with all things. Being loving and kind to others will help promote health. I find when I am in need I give to others, this is a good way to cure your problems.
As an old soul I've always got along better with people older than myself. I always find it extremely difficult to deal with people in the same age group as me, unless I "come down" to their level. To clarify, this has absolutely nothing to do with ego or levels of intelligence, I'm talking about the soul. If you are born with a high level of spirituality, people step away from you and they don't consciously know why. The energy is too strong for them and they wonder "what's wrong" with them.
I'm guessing that those life expectancy numbers for women are factoring in death from domestic violence. While unmarried women can be victims, also, they may not be to the same degree as married women for a variety of reasons.
Recently I have been treated by Heilkunst Homeopathy, and all my illnesses and problems have been treated on an emotional level. I have lost weight and balanced my hormones by not only addressing physical habits and nutrition, but by tackling the monsters in my closet and my personality traits. Right now I am dealing with grief... and my sinus condition is clearing up. Mind over matter? It works....
I think in today's society people are influenced by the media and institutions to keep to their selves more or to ignore people who aren't responding to the pressure to conform. It's definitely hard for me to find people who share an interest in both art and athletics which are two things I enjoy greatly.
I think you could help a lot of people who resist analyzing their own self destructive behavior in relationships. I don't think it's much different than self destructive behavior regarding sleep, nutrition, etc. in your 8 other chapters. Which ever area of their life they sabotage, the bigger question to me is WHY? What makes them want less for themselves?
OK. Seems like a good solution. I would suggest that you write a tenth chapter where you might try to unite the previous nine. Perhaps there is a way to bring your philosophy together for a sort of 'unified theory.' Good luck with the book and I wish you lots of inspiration.
to the woman in the clip - funny - you come across confident and seem to believe in what you are saying then at the end of giving out the title of the book you grimace - you just took all that confidence away - lol
The reality is is that even the modes considered "depression" or "elation" are an assumed value or experience. A far more interactive method can be by way of intention, or simply telling yourself and others the way you are, be. Go ahead, the next moment, minute, hour, day, year, life is yours to dictate.
This life is your fantasy. Perhaps you are the only one here and everything else is a hologram. Identify the "author"ity. Remember those rebellious emotions? It's a yearning. Do it or forget it
offcourse in life nothing is permenant. Its a bummer when something good changes. I guess the key to survival is coping with the bad times untill the good times come along. Sure its great if you have family or one or two real friends but this is not always the case.
There are people better and worse off. We must always see the silver lining in a cloud or even fantasise with belief the subconcious will find away. When Im 100 still be pondering life :).
Isn't one of your goals to be happy and fulfilled whether by yourself or with others? No, it's not good to be by yourself too much but a spiritual journey is usually a solo journey much of the time.
I dont get lonely too often but I do find myself preferring to be alone than w/the baffoons I've been meeting lately (men). Im gonna do what I prefer even if it isn't healthy. I may prefer to stay home and have my wine alone than to go out drinking w/friends. Just my preference sometimes. Some people think Im depressed but I like it.
Good video. Relationships are definitely very important and I struggle quite a bit with loneliness. I think generally for me, problems are relating to people I don't feel I have anything in common with.
i think the problem with relationships and very close friendship is you become reliant on those people and believe you need those people there to be happy, which is why i think depression is a common theme when one of these people e.g. dies.
i think people need to realise we dnt need anyone, the key is being happy in your own mind, and if you realise you dnt need anyone to be happy, i think tht makes a successful relationship far more possible.
I disagree, as you say it is possible to survive on your own, but with love (like drugs) there are extreme highs and lows, some might argue that the highs are worth the lows, others might not
you should become my therapist.
SunnieView 1 month ago
Feedback to this video? I was "too lazy to live" until I built a solid relationship with my now fiancee. I was motivated to respect myself, love myself as much as he loves me and in turn I became an active and healthy perdon. I'm not co-dependant, but being with people and having good communication helped me learn more about myself and I found the desire of betterment deep in me. The desire to better yourself cant be given to you by a doctor, you have to find it by your own.
xxxAlbelxxx 7 months ago
I can't get a Bf for my life I'm not ugly or anything, I have gotten compliments all the time but no one ever asks me out
bluefroggies5 9 months ago
@bluefroggies5 No offense but take the initiative, go get what you want. Don't wait for happiness to fall into your lap. Don't expect the man to do it alone.
yashaouchan 9 months ago
You have enlightened on the most important thing in this life is healthy relationships between human beings but I wonder why people not giving weights to those other than money or what money can buy. Thank you-Dr.RMJB Ratnayake
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darseeify 1 year ago
my dad, the man that has always been there for me is growing old and i never got the chance to pay him back for all he did for me. and when i look at people like paris hilton and Simon cowl spending in a day what my family makes in a year, why would anyone bother with anything. at the end of the day your friends and woman that is with you would rather be with them and your contribution doesn't make the slightest difference. its not always the persons fault, sometimes nothing goes right.
TheScienceofnature 1 year ago
i also got rejected by the only girl i ever cared about. after i got over her it happened again with another girl. so i guess psychology doesn't save any bodies life. sometimes life just finds another way to screw you over. i know people keep saying there is plenty of fish in the sea, i think they are just native, they have never been disappointed thats why they believe opportunities are so abundant. maybe it is for them, but those are the lucky ones.
TheScienceofnature 1 year ago
i do not fear people nor am afraid of failure. i think that those situations made me very cautious and nerves. i have never had a permanent job either. so relationships with people can have a lot of influence on your over all life experience. for me things went wrong the day i moved to UK. also i had a lot of dreams and ambitions and when i saw what the people of UK were like, i was also deluded. i guess we all fight for each other, and when there is no one to fight for, everything just stops.
TheScienceofnature 1 year ago
i agree with this whole relationship idea. nearly 90% of all the problems in my life is nothing to do with my lack of effort, confidence or any disability or fear of rejection. i moved to UK over 10 years ago and as i attended my first year in my new school, i was bullied and harassed by the other kids. i was a victim of racism. 10 years later i have never been able to establish strong relations with anyone because i generally just hate people.
TheScienceofnature 1 year ago
A healthy relationship is when you fight, But you fight fair.
URNemesis108 1 year ago
I am too lazy to live...
PtolemyJones 1 year ago
I am the smartest man to ever enter existence because I have a P.H.D.
Your brains are all inferior to mine, I am a therapist and within 5 minutes of meeting you I know every single thing about you, I know if your mama breast fed you, I know what you did last summer, I know who you fucked on vacation 14 years ago, and I know about that time you shit yourself in public.
I know EVERYTHING because I went to college longer then anybody else.
thedirtynasty 1 year ago
@thedirtynasty nigger you stylin'
Asphixyated 1 year ago
@thedirtynasty So what good will that do me? Would you uncover the hidden secrets that, unlocked, can turn me into a superhero? If so, you will earn your wages!!!
Agent1W 1 year ago
i cliked this because it said Sexual and Intimate
Asphixyated 1 year ago
@Asphixyated same here. I can't believe she didn't even get her baps out.
enoxib 1 year ago
@Inteligento: I understand your point, but it looks like maybe you could use LESS of an ego. "Your overconfidence is your weakness" - Luke Skywalker (to the evil Emperor, no less). I can safely say (guarantee?) that when you finally come down from your pedestal (and you will), you'll need people, and no one's going to want to be there for YOU. Running away from people is not running away from loneliness, it's running toward it - Sol Justice (808)
SolJustice808 1 year ago
@blackrainbowusmc(cont): only) a few people in life that you can trust. It takes years, sometimes decades, to develop an everlasting trust with someone. Once you learn/realize you can have true faith in the person, you can rest/sit back with ease knowing you've made/found that connection... that we ALL need (despite what SOME people say). I hope I helped.
SolJustice808 1 year ago
@blackrainbowusmc: I feel you, man, but my advice is to learn from the mistake of trusting the WRONG girl/person. Don't distrust and alienate everyone/anyone, just shield yourself better and learn who to trust and who not too. I don't know how long your relationship was, but we all learn, most times the hard way, that there are (sometimes
SolJustice808 1 year ago
ther`s no balance in human nature!!!!no purpoze!nothing!!!!we live in an illussionary world of our mind!no one like the reality!
kachetil 1 year ago
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cristinaroy54 1 year ago
I am 13 and I am a girl. I do have some friends but they only hang out with me @ school really. And they aren't that trustable. like my main friend (the one I hang out with the most) cuts herself and has lots of problems with life. I do have a really good friend that is a boy and I like him more than a friend so I am nervous to go and sit with him or call him. I am a very shy person too. my grandma said she feels bad for me cuz I need a friend I can have girl talk with,
mirralynn7 1 year ago
interesting.
sunshineflag 2 years ago
I'm working on an audio book called Are you too lazy to read the book are you too lazy to live?
channel303 2 years ago 3
if its not a porno book im not bying
witchkingfire 2 years ago
I'm 20 and i think i fit in the category of people who don't 2 many friends in their life., i'm a reserve person who ( introverted by nature) i sometimes find it very difficult to mingle with people. My friends are not so many. WHAT DO U THINK.
funom123 2 years ago 2
The quote about intimate relationships being the reason to live is something I connect with
awenalove 2 years ago 7
I can appreciate that there is a lot of truth in this video but problems arise when previous relationships have fallen apart acrimoniously. For me this has created a negative feedback cycle where I am far les trusting than I was when younger.
It's a natural tendency to avoid close friendships and sexual intimacy when you've allowed people in before only to realise that they were using you. Becoming assertive and developing a tough skin around a sensitive ego is the only solution.
PrimeM92 2 years ago
Insecure people need others around for support.
The more self actuated you are the less you need others. Short of infirmity, disease, poverty, or oppression; lack of intimacy is only debilitating if one suffers from lack of ego. Our reason for living is the stimulation we get from thinking others need us or put another way is to have our ego stroked . That is why we have an undying need to contribute to society. No stimulation equals no need to live.
Inteligento 2 years ago 3
Couldn't have put it better myself.... I completely agree with you.
Now stroke my ego and rate my comment.
howzitman 2 years ago
well its a great video. ofcourse intimacy leads you to go high and high in the life. reading the many comment and also in best of my to many human r not able to form some stable relationship. how can we help humanity is this aspect. best of luck .
pcoshic 2 years ago
relationships lead u to broken hearts girls cheat and always look for greed.,, fuck! i just hang with sluts now and mov on to the next girl. i will never open up to any girl again i was faithful but she failed and i can never trust again.
blackrainbowusmc 2 years ago
"Self praise is no recommendation"
ahmed742 2 years ago
I've had no "real" friends for literally about 5 years now. I am almost 19 years old.
Past friends from elementary school and such like you mentioned about your 5th grade friend, they just stopped being friends with me for no real reason. so.. oh well. I have no one. not really anyone my age I can just go to talk to.
mts2457 2 years ago
I enjoyed this video because it talks about what really happens in our lives. I mean, when we are in love, when we have someone to share everything, we feel stronger, we can face and win the life's troubles and also if we become healther. Nothing is better than having a faithful friend.
I call it the power of love. God didn't creat the man to stay alone. We all need each other.
rosacontatosonline 2 years ago 12
Him being able to share his inner feelings and experiences helped him understand his past more. Most of all, he saw that there was someone out there who cared about him, and wanted to listen. Since then, he has improved immensely. He isn't suicidal or depressed. At this moment, he is working on a better relationship with his mom, along with encouragement from me. Being able to be close and intimate with just one other person helps so much. One last thing: he knows that I love him, too ;)
earlywirlybird 2 years ago
This is video is very very true, because I would know. When I first met my boyfriend, he was suicidal, emotionally unstable, and depressed. I helped him with that by talking through his past, one of which was not very joyful or bright. He had just moved to another city and had a bad relationship with his mom. Knowing how hard this was on him, I asked him if he wanted to talk about it, and he did.
earlywirlybird 2 years ago
Good luck on the journey of writing your book. I happen to be someone who spends a great deal of time alone. I believe this has helped me go very deeply into my own self and develop my spiritual and intuitive side. My family structure was such that it encouraged me to be self sufficient. I could have chosen to let that weaken me, but instead I chose let it benefit me.
estaralla1956 2 years ago
Hi NatalieBelikova When you have a lot of friends you lose the best
houffa2 2 years ago
Realy?..How is that soo?
babejayoung 2 years ago
Hi Radhia
In my life now there are no many friends as I would wish. I used to live in another country where I had many friends but now -here it is not easy for me to find ones with whom I would share things. I am a sociable person and like people, I am open and sincere to people but that is not enough looks like. I guess because I am not like most of them they do not except me.
Thank you for your video!
And good luck in writing a book!!!
Natalie
NatalieBelikova 2 years ago
Wonderful! Radhia you are very intelligent person! And i think you have the ability to analyse people, their behavior, attitudes to different things, their relations and relationships. Almost all people dont have such giftedness as you do. I like it. for real! Thank You for sharing this video and talking to people!
SauberEifer 2 years ago
Dear Radhia,
i enjoyed watching, well done contribution.
Got another link for you today, will you leave a comment there, it's something nice i promise. Hope you like it:
......"/watch?v=XZIeM1WXZMs" x
jollyfellow25 2 years ago
great vid.
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And i recoreded it onto a tape and i have over 15 minutes of girls crying.
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BigBaddDawg 2 years ago
Pt.1:
Lizzo25:
Paradoxical, huh! Sweet soul gives exactly what they want! However, to gain reciprocation, consciously figure out how to challenge others' natural need for continued stimulation. My note here could be really helpful!
By routinely giving more than 82% of anything another expects, or wants, one communicates that s/he is down & out, a people-pleaser, & is fully expecting (used-to) being taken for granted, & is certainly strong enough to live in such pain, which happens. Below:
Bestmountjoy 2 years ago
Pt. 2:
Attraction dissipates once a person intimately conquers over 82% of another. This is natural law in the ebb & flow of all dynamic relationships.
Simple weapons for reciprocation are:
~Keep attractive others flirting (the innocuous feelings in good-thought mate-jealousy play is healthy for both her & suitor.)
~Stay 18% uncooperative; this way authenticity & challenge remains ~ to tease growth into occurring thru a life of abiding happiness, especially with ones we care deepest about.
Bestmountjoy 2 years ago
I am a person that struggles to build relationships. I find it hard to trust and I typically oly have a few close people I feel I can share with. My wife and I took on two foster children 4 months a go and it brought out he week areas in our relationship. I recently lost my Grnadmother, we were very close. My wife attempted suicide and has now left me. The boys are gone in which I bonded with and now my wife has taken one of our dogs in which I loved very much. I feel like I am losing everything
bigiron71 2 years ago
am not an expert, but l believe u should find something you love and do it. if u like travelling, then travel more often. if u want to bond with something, try a pet or get another foster kid. volunteer more. i think it will do you well.
pmpanga 2 years ago
I can't believe she took the dog.
What a hateful woman,
I would get a new dog, and buy a membership to the singles sites, Start having fun, Sheit happens,
You can't take it personal.
WWJD, Hang in there brother.
ktkgbxer 2 years ago
Comment removed
miqer 2 years ago
Some times they say having something is worst than not having it, because you will lose it eventually.
If you never have a lover, is better than having a lover and loosing him/her.
Something about us humans, we cant stand loosing.
lastmoh1989 2 years ago
however some of the quotes is where social conditiong has really brought the public to it's knees thinking that having a relationship will solve thei PROBLEMS, this is the easy way out. When really they should find out what their insecurities face them change them, have amazing social skills and abundance MUCH LOVE TO ALL
jimib5863 2 years ago 2
Good relationship=both mentally healthy and are not babies they can take care of themselves, they have emotions and control, they are secure because they have LIFE EXPERIENCE, they have social skills to meet new people in their life and new women if they so choose, they are no longer isolated, This is the key to all things and finding love within life not external things with in yourself......
Thanks for the posting of this video
jimib5863 2 years ago
Hi Radhia I admire your writing a book etc, I don't beleive that it iis wise or HEALTHY TO RELY on someone else for your own emotional and physical stability you and I both know that is not beneficial for the individual. If one can control ones self then that is the key then he can concentrate on bringing love to a relationship instead of being A NEEDY INSECURE GUY, theres nothing attractive about that!
.
jimib5863 2 years ago
I really would like to hear her speak in person!!!
moviedude22 2 years ago 2
its true, sex is very good for your health, physical and mental. <3
princessannikki 2 years ago
I noticed that the title was accusational , slightly - most people might not think so ...yet...
. I suggest a simpler title more forward less insinuating and safer on an adversarial level .
May I suggest simply - "Too tired to live" it's a good theme and this is the American syndrome .
You have your finger on a major nerve .
euripideesshreds 2 years ago
Yeah I think "Lazy" might be accusative, because it implies that "Everything people need for happiness is laid out before everyone in equal measure, any obstacles that may exist are of equal hindrance to everyone, and happiness is right here for you if only you'd stop making excuses and being so damn lazy"
And I do not think that is accurate, though I agree with a lot of points made in Radhia's video's, and espouse optimum dietary and alternative health options, but there are variables that
catgumart 2 years ago 2
interfere with people's ability to make choices that would improve their lives or get involved or reach potential, variables that require closer attention to particular personal circumstances and honest acknowledgment, life is problematic and a lot of things are out of our control or sneak up on us, as well as none of us being perfect...so to say "Laziness" I don't know if that is the best word to inflict on people who are in the midst of an unhealthy, unenlightened life, non ideal circumstances
catgumart 2 years ago
Hi, this is a very touching video. My health deteriorated right about the time a childhood friend decided to no longer maintain our friendship. After that I felt lonely as I no longer had that feedback thing happening. Interesting.
GiuseppinaBA 3 years ago
you seem like a very cool and understanding person, let me know when your book hits the shelves
Oubersnout 3 years ago
not to say there is anything wrong with love , you need love to stay sane , you need it to stay insane as well . but love is great , and a necessity in a way . so crack open a cold one , cause you're a loser .
PluggingMyEars 3 years ago
i know that sounds a bit crued , but someone had to say it.
PluggingMyEars 3 years ago
i don't understand what the question is , sex is a product of hormones . a relationship is the delusion that - well you love someone so you'll be together and happy with them forever . as lovely as that sentiment is , rarely is it a reality . but you try anyway because it's the right thing to do , settle down from your teenage years of sexual experimenting , and ignore all the problems that you'll be facing for the rest of your worthless life.
PluggingMyEars 3 years ago
AlanKeyes has some good points here. Men do wanna fuck the SHIT outta as many hot women as possible. I don't care if the women has PhDs, money, status - if they're hot, fruitfully fertile lookin.. chances are I'm gonna try and fuck 'em :) But once a man is content sexually, there is surely also an emotional need - even in us men.
BluntActivist2008 3 years ago
Very Interesting!!
kosmicreader 3 years ago
Why do we want relationships so much?
mysticalpaladin 3 years ago
well as men, i can say we just wanna fuck !
id do or say anything regardless if its true or not just to lick pussy and fuck , its the way men are programmed by nature
For Men our primary goal is to Fuck as many hot women as we possibly can , i couldnt care less about a womans personality or what she says, my main goal is to fuck her and move on to next woman and just keep on Fucking
harsh ? maybe, but its true
AlanKeyes2 3 years ago 3
harsh? yeah .
true? maybe .
but not every man on this earth is a cold hearted dick =)
greatgiginthesky2739 3 years ago 3
Hey hun, the only difference between u and i is that im honest . Truth is and admit it, you love to get fucked and have alot of hot steamy lustful sex !
admit it, you and i are no different, you want to get Laid just as much as i do.
so why dont you have the honesty to admit it ?
AlanKeyes2 3 years ago 2
greatgigin
True ? Not maybe, actually the correct answer is YES, why are you so afraid and shy in admitting the obvious
AlanKeyes2 3 years ago
I agree that we want to fuck, but it's not just men...women want to fuck too. Also, it's not practical to fuck as many hot women as you possibly can unless you can get it every single day. If you can't get it every single day, it's better to have just one, loyal girlfriend or wife that you love and get along with so you can fuck her whenever you want.
VitalSigns1 3 years ago
Thats why im studying the MYSTERY METHOD and SPEED SEDUCTION, they allow you to get as many women as you want in bed
check em out on here
AlanKeyes2 3 years ago
You want to fuck because you want lots of kids.
zombiehellmonkey 3 years ago
To VitalSigns1, AlanKeyes2, greatgiginthesky2739, mysticalpaladin.
I acculy find it more learning to read what you guys think(and so does I) is logical mutch more learning then hearing the old granny nag on about some things that you allready know. I also think that we are made to fuck and make our race survive. So why does almost all humans put on a "blindfold" and think it's non-humanistic and not fitting for society?
jackmikesalomon 2 years ago
They say that it is animalistic to fuck when we feel like it... well,duh! we are animals, in fact we are the highest developed animal existing on earth becuse we fuck so mutch so our race won't die out. It is pure instinct, so why do people think it's unnatural to do so? why are you marked as a "perv" just becuse you fallow your instincts and your true meaning on this planet of ours? why is it a bad thing to fuck? why does the bible and the church think it's satanistic to do it b4 marrige?
jackmikesalomon 2 years ago
Well I understand your point to a degree, Sex is natural, and shouldn't be something that should be attached to extreme feelings of guilt or fear, but like anything there can be consequences for reckless or thoughtless or destructive sexual behavior, like intentionally overstepping a partners sexual/psychological boundaries, or having multiple partners and passing on STDs, or sleeping with someone else's partner...sex deals with strong primal emotions and influences the social fabric..
catgumart 2 years ago
Im replying to jackmikesalmon here...........
catgumart 2 years ago
I agree that consenting adults who want to practice sexual freedom should be able to do so without being judged, nor do I agree with people who think a vigorous sex life is evil or "satanistic" but sex like anything is problematic in many different ways, and you cant ignore some of the negative consequences of reckless, mindless, immature, or abusive sides that can transpire within human sexuality.
catgumart 2 years ago
after all I said, I do agree that there are ways in which people in our society can be very oppressive when it comes to issues of sexuality, I gotta say that also...in addition to the other comments..
catgumart 2 years ago
these things where nicely and well said catgumart. :) I understand your argue and the more I read it the more I like it ^^ well, there are some bad sides of sex but it's also for evryone to experiance and not to have a parent or a reletive to say it's wrong to have sex before you are married. My cousin and his family is in a god religous group and it says clearly in their "laws" that you shall not have intimate sexual relasionship before marrige. you know what? my cousin went against that :P
jackmikesalomon 2 years ago
you're immature - but hey, chances are you probably don't know about the Illuminati and if so, maybe you are proud! Humanity is destroying itself.
MopDMTBARTL 2 years ago
I been to lazy to live at one point in my life.
Nutrition does play a roll, but many other factors were also the reason- i couldn't get off the couch.Nutrition is a good first step !
zappaelcrappa 3 years ago
Just like some of your patients I spend a lot of my time engaging in self destructive thoughts. I don't have family, friends or a mate. So I find myself doing it quite a bit.
Even when I have had all of the above, they weren't ever good for me. They weren't supportive. So even while I had them I engaged in self destructive thoughts because they made me feel bad for being me.
Even though I want to be close to others, it's better this way. I don't have so many voices telling me I'm wrong.
litnight 3 years ago 3
I love you. You and everything that makes you, you. Understand that you are special and unique. You have something to offer people, the world, everyone, even me! Until you love yourself, and do not seek other people's approval for your own happiness, is when you will find love.
Smile. You're beautiful.
peisel04 3 years ago 3
I have been through some horrible relationships and finally I sat down and asked myself what do I really need, not want and now I have someone that truly shares my life, instead of ingratiating me into their life.
gothickiss86 3 years ago
I've lost 2 of my best friends and an intimate relationship shortly after, and my small family seems to be getting more separated. What should I do?
jtmoneyky 3 years ago
howard y. lee and the light of life energy has changed my life
kryzdion 3 years ago
A person with many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Keep you hopes and you pants up people and don't define your self by your relationships :P
Work on being the kind of friend you want to have. The rest will work its self out.
cheaphardwarez 3 years ago
I have a boyfriend and we have been together for a year and a month, we love each other but one thing is, he lives far away...I feel longing to meet him, there is a chance I'll be able to meet him next March Break, but if I cant go to where he is...I feel like I'll go crazy...I am in Canada and he is in Nevada, USA....I want to feel his warm and loving embrace...and feel his kisses of love...that hope of seeing him is keeping me sane..but if I can't see him...I'll probably go insane.
WolfDOuka 3 years ago
Being able to make a contribution in life is the highest priority for me, above everything else. For the past years I have gradually isolated myself in an attempt to get ahead in work, which only resulted in major increasing depression. The ideal situation for me would be to find a partner that would understand because she has the same priority above me, just as I would above her. I believe having intimacy is essential to health, but it is not enough for me if I can't do my life's work.
twinter20 3 years ago
Relationships and people are more important than work. If you spend your whole life isolating yourself from others by working to achieive something, when you finally get there you will have no one to share it with. Look for a partner or family first, and then you can journey through life WITH them, whether ending up successful or not. Things must be sacrificed for happiness.
mrtjkool100730 3 years ago
I deep down on an emotional level BELIEVE it's too late to change..What's the use then?
juggyng 3 years ago
i've also had intimate relationships with others where i have been used. for example when i was 16 i was raped by this guy i was in "love" with. now i can't have any relationships with guys. i haven't even kissed a guy in 3 years. i always push them away when they try and get close. i have no idea what to do. i'm tired of living in this bubble cut off from the world.
inFAITHLOVEandPEACE 3 years ago
ever since i was a little girl (i'm now 19) i've had this social phobia i guess its called. i've always been sort of a loner, i never put myself out there to meet new people. i think its the whole rejection aspect. i'm also afraid to be hurt. i've had alot of family problems and that has also caused me to steer clear of any relationships.
inFAITHLOVEandPEACE 3 years ago
I would say that in western industrialised societies, the primary relationships are economic. Due to mobility issues, family structures diminish and too much reliance for delivery of social, emotional and physical support is placed in the hands of a significant other. Quite often it's asking too much of one person to be everything to the other all the time.
What needs to be done is a different social paradigm. We are not just producers and consumers we are social biengs.
Petrof51 3 years ago
This made me depressed. Because I am still under the impression that anyone who seeks emotional support is weak and a failure to function.
I wonder where that came from. Either way, I know that I do long for companionship, however I am not only afraid, but rather turned off to the idea of perusing any relationship, intimate or not, because of such a large diversity in the way people are. People are scum. And I don't want scum in my life. So I'm alone, and I keep telling myself I like it.
BlindDogFulton 3 years ago
You might want to research a recently developed concept called the cyncially shy.
lucyandspike 3 years ago
i agree with you a 100%..
overrated1345 3 years ago
I'm exactly the same, very dissapointed most of the time and going strong without anyone else :) Being considerate of others makes you end up being taken as a fool and stomped on. When I realize I'm getting that, I'm so pissed already I end up being too agressive. I'm living in almost complete isolation for a year now and altough I try to make new friends, I keep being pushed back by their egoistic attitude. Used to think it's me but now I just think the world is one big asshole :)
shaneanu 3 years ago
Yes, life sucks. But it's how we handle it that counts.
Being a millennium teen, straight out of the good side of hummingbird lane, I have no leg to stand on when I say that, but I say it anyway.
This is somewhat more for adults, but hey, words of wisdom can be from any source.
I eventually concluded what you said. People suck, (most of them), and I want to have nothing to do with them. I'm only worried about how much longer I can get away with that.
BlindDogFulton 3 years ago
"It is not good for man to be alone..."
- The Bible
hisbeatnik 3 years ago
Yeah, except when you want any kind of companionship with anyone. It's dirty and sinful. The Bible is so full of self-contradictory bullshit.
BlindDogFulton 3 years ago
the bible, so far, is the only thing perfect.
truthknowledge com
MopDMTBARTL 2 years ago 4
I believe that need for initmacy is a chemical phenomenon. If a male keeps his semen well dispelled via self-release using porn or such, they do not seek intimacy. I find it true in my experience. People say that is makes people sound like lab rats, but the fact remains. I feel that there are so many diseases and forms of damaging co-dependency around today and that intimacy is a great violation of personal security.
myview28 3 years ago
I've always been introverted and I also have social phobia. It makes really hard for me to date or just make friends with strangers. I have a few friends but I don't really feel connected to them. When I fell in love (which has happened twice so far) life became unbearable, because I couldn't get close to the person. I've been living alone for 3 years now, and I feel lonely many times. However I try to make the best of my independence but it's not the same to enjoy things on your own.
ojeco 3 years ago
you must be female. a male wouldn't have a chance getting a date with a social phobia, so if you were in a couple of relationships its clear. Female
markclark5 3 years ago
Why do most married people despise the other? In the beginning they loved and later some kill the other. Why?
TankerBelly 3 years ago
I'm really lonely and my "social web" is thin as air. My problem is that I don't find people who are "same kind as I" in mental level. I really feel like nobody understand my way of thinking or can see the world as I do. Why to speak if no one understands you? I get frustrated to this and I don't even want to try to share my world with someone. I have tried to do that but I haven't found anything good enouch to keep close to my heart. I'm female,23-years old and "doing ok" with my work/school.
6kuuta 3 years ago
I understand what u mean but sometimes eventhough people dont see things they way u do or think like you they can still be good freinds no matter how different they are. u should focus on the things u have in common instead of diffrences. it takes to to make a freindship, you cant just get frustrated when they dont understand u, u cant try to understand them or find something in common. good luck
gurliegurl89 3 years ago
Actually I'm a guy :-)
Besides social phobia I also have bipolar. When I'm manic, I can leave my fears behind for a little while and at these times I can be really convincing. Though these occasions are rare. Other times when I'm at a party, a little alcohol can help me socializing but many times it just worsens my loneliness. It's easier for me to get to know people when I'm with my friends. It makes me very nervous and withdrawn when I'm alone at a party, but I always try cope with it somehow.
ojeco 3 years ago
and family issues. rejection/acceptance issues(b/c of some family members long story). relationship issues. so yes, relationships = are key! ppl say i should 'change' or conform to society's standards when thats the LEAST thing i wanna do. but now, after my dad's death i see what life really is. its love/acceptance/appreciating lifes moments. im just contributing for your book and maybe you can offer tips to us lot. many thanks. :)
YourOasis97 3 years ago
well im a non-conformist. been labeled a loner, in fact i literally am one now. dont hang out with friends ne more. i cut them off b/c well i saw through their charade and hypocrisy. i have no job, just a college student, mourning my dad's death. no desire to continue school. hate this american society but its the same everywhere else. ALWAYS had trouble maintaining friendships or making new ones. i have trust issues.
YourOasis97 3 years ago
i agree with every ones comments! Lets see, I'm labeled a high school drop out, I have no car,no money,no job,no I.D,I'm stuck in a small town no one has ever heard of! I've been skateboarding for 10 years and thats all i got going for me! but this place holds me back from THE WORLD! i just wanna get out there and help people too... on the other hand. I still don't know whats right and whats wrong, It's almost as if everyone's minds are in reverse. Law of attraction? Or GOD? i bet ur an Aquarius
eSFasho 3 years ago
I am 28. In the last 4 years I went through a terrible break up with my girlfriend, my mother suffered a serious episode of bipolar disorder, my brother has been suffering from depression,I moved to my capital city, and my relationship status is worsening on all levels(family, friends, women etc). I can relate a lot to the video. Intimacy and being able to open oneself to another is great.
rovomilos 3 years ago
i was in austin for a long time, and now i'm in san antonio, and now i finally get your channel? hahahahaha, where were you when i need you,lol, well, i'll email you later
peace be with you
redsolardragon1320 3 years ago
Comment removed
MiracleYouR2Me 3 years ago
You're in Austin - odd. This could be a stretch but do you know anyone named NINA?
Snowflake70 3 years ago
I'm in college now and recently ALL of my friends moved away and are going to different colleges. I'm trying to make new friends at work and school but find it extremely difficult to connect with others. I don't know why this is...
crayonsiheart 3 years ago
i meet new ppl everyday at certain places, like work or school, but not anywhere else, like book stores. in NY, i find it hard to meet ppl, because i take my time, and NY is rush, rush, rush!! it seems i'm never really satisfied with what i have, i always want see more. maybe its cuz im young.
kinokid 3 years ago
I've never had a large quantity of friends but the friends I did have I considered really good ones that I could count on. After I got out of my 20's a few years ago our lives all started to change so much as did we. The differences have made it hard for us to connect anymore so those friendships are more distant and almost non exsistent. I wonder sometimes if that's just how our culture is these days or if it's a personal problem. Are all relationships destined to grow apart?
AprilDawn555 3 years ago
i have healthy relationships with lovers and friends, however i find it hard to make new friends. People often offend me with their conservtive values.
cafecaro 3 years ago
CAFECARO, I suspect you're just as judgemental as "conservatives". Conservatism is a natural inclination to resist change. Perhaps compassion for your more conservative acquaintances would yield more diverse relationships for yourself and expose others to your more liberal values. That is, if you're truly liberal and not just an intellectual snob.
jeremiahp 3 years ago
WOW Jeremia!! That was downright mean and nasty! For one, my parents are very conservative and i love them dearly and understand their views. i dont think its fair for you to judge me even though you know nothing about me, my life and my struggles. Besides mt comment was for the video host.
cafecaro 3 years ago
ah..... hello you will be judged by what you write. here I think you should turn your statement around and see it from an outside perspective
gaura 3 years ago
As an outsider i would relate to my comment.
cafecaro 3 years ago
hi i don't believe you will get back to me. However i have just gone through a divorce and i don't have any friends can't seem to get any and feel very depressed i'm doing a psycholoy class and enjoying it, however i am the oldest there at 33 and feel like an old man because i have lots of grey hair. Cant get any friends and just feel the lowest ever in my life yet i keep on smiling as if everyting is ok
lasercat10cc 3 years ago
It could always be worse, everyone goes through problems. Tommorow is a new day, suck it up and adapt. You only have yourself in this life you should be happy with it.
pyro51090 3 years ago
It was a curt opening to a bigger theme and I understand that, the curtness bothers me, I value your openness and value it as an opportunity for clear understanding.
DemonosZXZ 3 years ago
Ok have you done previous prescribing because if have your expliotative process of asking me an individual a question asking if Im too lazy to live is post partum from and earlier medicated and sedative state in my life, my worst memory in life is mental health so I have given my choice over to pure dedicated strengthening of mental focus people will have to catch up sooner or later.ONe misdiagnosis crazy angry genius amongst many.
DemonosZXZ 3 years ago
Found that very useful and true at most parts.
Thanks for your time Professor Rudy.
LostInFraction 3 years ago
i don't usually trust people because i believe we are fundamentally evil...i have some friends and i am involved in a relationship (7years) but i don't rely on anyone, but myself.
anaid8064 3 years ago
You are a good one! Thanks for caring!
Life is the only game in town. Though not perfect I like it. Being Human has its drawbacks but that is just more of what keeps life interesting, challenging and the good guys in there pitching.
c16467 3 years ago
after my mother died, I felt a profound lack purpose. I got grief symptoms that I never expected. I explained to hospice councelor that I had lost my enthusiasm for EVERY thing. Like 'it' (purpose) had all been an elusion, and now the naked truth was exposed to me. the harsh reality that there is no MEANING OF LIFE. we're born,then die..we die..thats what spoiled it for me. there is no REAL meaning in that context. I needed (SOMETHING) to live for, to believe in, to be needed (ah! the key!)
christopher0530 3 years ago
im going through the same right now. lost my dad last month. i try to be calm and happy but it doesnt last very long. :P
YourOasis97 3 years ago
Fundamentally a lot of the issues covered in your book are a result of a lack of willpower and drive/commitment, aims and goals are needed to push on. It is easy enough to rationalise a decision, but difficult to implement it when lacking the necessary willpower/push. The root source of many mental and physical ailments is lack of self-belief. You need to want to help yourself in order to be helped, as a practitioner I'm sure you understand that. I came to this conclusion long ago.
LikeYouButDifferent 3 years ago
i love the title! don't change it
Soulfab 3 years ago
I find that when I feel my life is not in balance, usually I am having a hard time with relationships. Whether it is a dependence upon one friend or lover, or when my family is disapproving of my choices, these rifts are usually at the core of all my problems. Right now I'm having difficultly getting into grad school, but since my relationships with others are doing well I don't feel so lost in the world.
bleubirxes 3 years ago
What you talk about regarding relationships is also a zen attitude. By that I mean the idea of being one with all things. An intimate relationship allows you to be one with another person and by zen standards get a small taste of what it's like to realize that you are one with all things. Being loving and kind to others will help promote health. I find when I am in need I give to others, this is a good way to cure your problems.
tiuric77 3 years ago
intimate relationships can break your heart
and ruin your life as well...
truthspeaker2000 3 years ago
Especially if you kill your spouse.
Markohoppis 3 years ago
As an old soul I've always got along better with people older than myself. I always find it extremely difficult to deal with people in the same age group as me, unless I "come down" to their level. To clarify, this has absolutely nothing to do with ego or levels of intelligence, I'm talking about the soul. If you are born with a high level of spirituality, people step away from you and they don't consciously know why. The energy is too strong for them and they wonder "what's wrong" with them.
downtuned4life 3 years ago
I'm guessing that those life expectancy numbers for women are factoring in death from domestic violence. While unmarried women can be victims, also, they may not be to the same degree as married women for a variety of reasons.
majorgeek 3 years ago
I just wanna fuck.
writertrump 3 years ago
On behalf of whomever you may help, thank you for so selflessly sharing your talents. :)
tjakube 3 years ago
Recently I have been treated by Heilkunst Homeopathy, and all my illnesses and problems have been treated on an emotional level. I have lost weight and balanced my hormones by not only addressing physical habits and nutrition, but by tackling the monsters in my closet and my personality traits. Right now I am dealing with grief... and my sinus condition is clearing up. Mind over matter? It works....
MegOMegOMegO 3 years ago
I think in today's society people are influenced by the media and institutions to keep to their selves more or to ignore people who aren't responding to the pressure to conform. It's definitely hard for me to find people who share an interest in both art and athletics which are two things I enjoy greatly.
zombieszombiesz 3 years ago 2
i only have 2 good friends and i do get along with my family. but thats it...
vivahateakaanabanana 3 years ago 2
I think you could help a lot of people who resist analyzing their own self destructive behavior in relationships. I don't think it's much different than self destructive behavior regarding sleep, nutrition, etc. in your 8 other chapters. Which ever area of their life they sabotage, the bigger question to me is WHY? What makes them want less for themselves?
ControlThis 3 years ago
OK. Seems like a good solution. I would suggest that you write a tenth chapter where you might try to unite the previous nine. Perhaps there is a way to bring your philosophy together for a sort of 'unified theory.' Good luck with the book and I wish you lots of inspiration.
Do it for the world!
DEZZIELIGHTBULB007 3 years ago
to the woman in the clip - funny - you come across confident and seem to believe in what you are saying then at the end of giving out the title of the book you grimace - you just took all that confidence away - lol
scorpio1066 3 years ago
How about u get married. That will help u a lot with ur book.
tupacisincuba 3 years ago
to feel wanted thats all i want since being a kid i dont think ive ever felt wanted thats my big one
rockon1384 3 years ago
The reality is is that even the modes considered "depression" or "elation" are an assumed value or experience. A far more interactive method can be by way of intention, or simply telling yourself and others the way you are, be. Go ahead, the next moment, minute, hour, day, year, life is yours to dictate.
This life is your fantasy. Perhaps you are the only one here and everything else is a hologram. Identify the "author"ity. Remember those rebellious emotions? It's a yearning. Do it or forget it
wreckerpecker 3 years ago
Radhia all off what you have said is right.
offcourse in life nothing is permenant. Its a bummer when something good changes. I guess the key to survival is coping with the bad times untill the good times come along. Sure its great if you have family or one or two real friends but this is not always the case.
There are people better and worse off. We must always see the silver lining in a cloud or even fantasise with belief the subconcious will find away. When Im 100 still be pondering life :).
Magicalmike1 3 years ago
Isn't one of your goals to be happy and fulfilled whether by yourself or with others? No, it's not good to be by yourself too much but a spiritual journey is usually a solo journey much of the time.
mikwid 3 years ago
Radhia, you are beautiful!
mishtary 3 years ago 3
I dont get lonely too often but I do find myself preferring to be alone than w/the baffoons I've been meeting lately (men). Im gonna do what I prefer even if it isn't healthy. I may prefer to stay home and have my wine alone than to go out drinking w/friends. Just my preference sometimes. Some people think Im depressed but I like it.
mand1sh3p 3 years ago
Good video. Relationships are definitely very important and I struggle quite a bit with loneliness. I think generally for me, problems are relating to people I don't feel I have anything in common with.
ozjthomas 3 years ago
i think the problem with relationships and very close friendship is you become reliant on those people and believe you need those people there to be happy, which is why i think depression is a common theme when one of these people e.g. dies.
i think people need to realise we dnt need anyone, the key is being happy in your own mind, and if you realise you dnt need anyone to be happy, i think tht makes a successful relationship far more possible.
kershrock06 3 years ago 2
I disagree, as you say it is possible to survive on your own, but with love (like drugs) there are extreme highs and lows, some might argue that the highs are worth the lows, others might not
HEarl114 3 years ago