@ninjascroll6789 Thanks for shouting your question. It is not *my* assumption that people with gender dysphoria are in the wrong body, but their own. Only they can know how it feels, and if they feel that they are inhabiting the body of the gender opposite to the one they would feel comfortable in, then for them, it is the wrong body. That does not mean that they are in any way lacking as a person, and nowhere do I say as much.
@RobNorthampton yeah thats right they were born in the wrong body which means there is something wrong with them. i never said they are lacking as a person
@ninjascroll6789 We have something wrong with us in the sense that we are in the wrong body. Rob said there is nothing wrong with us, meaning not lacking as a person.
I actually used to be a rather homophobic until I went to University and met gay people and it totally changed my view and your videos confirm I was somewhat misguided as a young man. I didn't hit anyone or anything I just made a few anti-gay comments when I was a teenager. I suppose when we are young and questioning our own sexuality it can be easy to use anti-gay rhetoric as a skapegoat for confronting our own identity.
@BritishArrow It's no surprise that kids pick up on homophobic taunts from their peers, because we still don't have a robust education system that includes diversity in all its forms. The upshot of that is that people, not just kids, make up their own delusions about LGBTs or pick them up from others. Besides, if people can make one group inferior, it boosts their own egos.
@RobNorthampton Didn't you think 'My Transsexual Summer' was a really touching documentary series? I thought it took the whole concept of reality TV and made something productive out of it, it was a joy to watch people helping each other.
@BritishArrow Absolutely! As you were saying yourself, once you were exposed to gay people in University, your opinions changed, because you came to know them as people. If mainstream society had more exposure to sexual minorities, their ignorance on the subject would subside and they could make more informed and rational decisions . I think the series was a very positive thing, both for the participants and the viewers. :-)
It's unfortunate there aren't more people knowledgeable on this subject. It really should be covered in standard sex education (maybe it is now, but it wasn't when I was in school). I only delved into gender and sexuality because I studied psychology, albeit briefly. If I hadn't I would probably be very ignorant on the subject (and probably still prejudiced). Great video, subbed.
@jakebowkett01 I think sex education is sadly lacking in many areas although we are supposedly living in an 'enlightened society'. Thanks for the comment and sub, Jake!
We don't talk enough about gender as a society. I'm glad you're thinking and talking about it, and you've clearly provoked discussion on the subject. You seem keen to talk about trans issues using the right sort of language, and you've largely succeeded, however some of your phrasing/terminology could be more sensitively put. I'm sure that as you read more about gender issues you'll naturally come to understand this better. Again, fantastic that you made the video.
@TahaFHassan I'm sorry if you thought I was being insensitive at any point. Maybe if you could let me know where exactly, I could make sure I didn't make the same mistake again.
i enjoyed your vid and i've subbed to your channel. you seem like a well spoken, thoughtful and polite gentleman. i look forward to watching your other vids. also in perusing your responses i can see that my initial impression is true of your conversation with others as well. :-)
@screaminmeani Thank you very much. I post videos less frequently these days, usually due to shortness of free time or lack of inspiration, but I'm not going anywhere, so hang on in there and I'll be back soon! :-)
There was a German psychiatrist that said: 'If we are surgically mutilating the bodies of "transgender" people and help them "turn" into the opposite sex, why aren't we doing surgeries to people who believe that they are Napoleon to make them look like him?"
I think there are actually other internal issues who come up at the surface of these people as the feeling of being stuck in a wrong body. And these issues should be addressed and treated, not necessarily the bodily appearances.
@grozde I'm pretty sure that gender reassignment surgery is never entered into lightly. There is usually a considerable amount of time between a person making the decision and the actual operation. In that time, they are usually counselled by mental health specialists to ensure that they are happy and secure in their decision.
@grozde You may be right, but if trans people are just another aspect of human sexuality, empirical evidence over many generations of psychiatrists conclude that like homosexuality or bisexuality it is not a mental illness. That's not to say that sexual minorities don't suffer from psychiatric problems, but I think that is more down to the judgmental society they live in than any internal struggles. As ever, education is key, and most of us never receive any on human diversity.
I just want to clarify that I don't consider transsexuality to be a mental illness; but I would assume that it might be a symptom of some sort of unresolved psychological burden.
Once again, I'm by no means an expert in this field, so I might be completely wrong...
But you are right - education and understanding are the keys.
There is no such thing like "I should've been a girl/boy". It's variation. Nature produces all kinds of people and only the one's who reproduce and/or are helpfull to society are the "successful" ones, but in the end, only reproducing counts.
Having said that: Who am I to judge someone, just because variation made him a bit "more different" as others? If people with IQ above 130 would reproduce less, than people with IQ under 130, that would mean, that nature chooses less IQ over more IQ.
@HeilLoki So, are people with high IQ less worth than people with lower IQ???
That's a pretty big dilemma. Still, I don't think, mutilating one's genetals is a bright idea, no matter how someone feels. Same as someone starts taking drugs (or whatever) to lower his IQ, because of whatever reason.
I don't think it's correct, but I wouldn't make laws against it.
@HeilLoki I'm not sure exactly what your argument is. Are you saying that trans people should not strive to be the people they feel they could be? The thing is, neither you nor I can know what it feels like if we are not transsexual ourselves. I know that if I woke up tomorrow morning and had a woman's body, I would be horrified, and want to be male again. It's a bad example, but it's the nearest I can imagine....
We are agreed that nature produces all kinds of people, but why should only the ones who breed be "successful" or "helpful to society". What if a transsexual person with a high IQ were to discover a cure for AIDS, or could eradicate all forms of cancer? Would that person not be seen as successful and helpful to others? And, (I'm playing devil's advocate here) if that same person had had gender reassignment surgery, what difference would it make to anyone else but that person?
All I am saying is that we are only here for a short time, and I think everyone should have the chance to feel happy in their own skin. If that means that they opt to reassign their gender, it has no impact on anyone else, and is entirely their own concern.
@RobNorthampton Absolutly, but I wouldn't recommend going to a surgeon, but to a psychiatrist. Again: It's like a depression. You can't cure depression, by trying to make a person happy with a new car or whatever. A depressed person will still be depressed.
New looking genetals don't help transgender people. Man still have XY, not XX chromosomes! You are still the same person with the same feeling, the same genitals (but in a different shape) and have the same issues with your self perception.
@RobNorthampton Of course, it's "helpful to society" to get rid of diseases of any kind. What I was trying to say is, that no sane person, would tell someone who honestly feels, that he should've been born with 1 leg, instead of 2 (and there are a lot of people who feel that way), that he should cut his leg off. I think, you see, where I'm going. We would tell them, to see a psychiatrist, not a surgeon. That's my whole point there.
@RobNorthampton And don't get me wrong: That's doesn't mean, that transgender people are insane or diseased or retarded or whatever horrible word someone may use. It's like having a depression. Nobody is a "bad" person or "insane", just because something in his brain is fucked up. I'm pretty sure, everyone has some issues and I'm certain, I have some too. ;)
With "successful" I meant: In the end only the ones who reproduce get their genes on to the next generation. variation + natural selection
As an atheist, the notion of being born into the wrong body is a non-starter. Something may occur in the fetal forming process that makes the brain contrary to the gender that you are born as. I'am a transgendered male who is probably not a candidate for re asignment, however I get a lot of personal joy and comfort out of dressing up female.
I really wanted the attention of my brother's older friend. I was 5 and he was 8. I believe that was my first gay crush. He once tried to make my brother jealous by telling me a secret about 10 feet away from my brother. It felt great. Bobby was a good looking cool boy to a 5 year old. These experiences start real young!
@marinello6 As a youngster, I would enjoy baking cakes with Mum or digging the garden with Dad. I never liked team sports, but neither did I like dolls and other girly stuff. As an adult, I can cook a mean Sunday roast, build a brick wall, sew, lay floor and wall tiles, paint a canvas, decorate a room, cut hair, plant flowers, change spark plugs etc etc. Do our abilities define our sexuality, or does our sexuality enable our abilities? Another video subject maybe!
@RobNorthampton I really like your perspective. As a student of psychology, I've had many classes and read many books on gender identity and human sexuality. It seems to me that our gender identity is really nothing more than a reinforced social expectation. There's no reason why your gender or sexuality should cause you to like dolls over guns or sports over baking. I think we have plenty of examples in our population to demonstrate any combination of things.
It is so individual. If I woke up with a vagina, I would be quite disturbed. I considered my brother a friend yet had a female girlfriend. This is around age 4-6. I had a dollhouse, would furnish it, play earthquake or ask my grandfather to blow cigarette smoke into it so it looked like a burning house. The games I played with my "girlfriend" were usually gender neutral. When she would play with real girly stuff with other girls, I would walk away. I liked playing with both sexes.
@marinello6 I think whether we are gay or hetero, we can all experience our male and female 'sides' at different times, but few of us actually feel as if we are inhabiting the wrong body, and wish it were the opposite gender. My heart goes out to people who feel this way. I'm lucky that although I've always fancied men, I have had no wish to be anything other than a man myself. Thanks for your comment, Albert :-)
Well...everyone starts out as XX female in the womb...(that's why men have nipples) and then at a certain point one X changes into a Y for the male...making him XY...so it seems very feasible these changes may take an uneven distribution.
I remember someone who's gender was opposite of their physical body said, "Your gender is not defined by what is between your legs." I thought it was well said because it was simple enough for a tard to figure out.
@truvelocity True enough. Gender and sexuality can become very confusing. I once knew a man who went for gender reassignment surgery so that s/he could embark on a proper lesbian relationship with her bisexual girlfriend. It can be difficult for outsiders to understand, but we don't have to. So long as the people within the relationship are happy, that's all that matters. :-)
@parkourDrew4745619 I always get at least one dislike on every video. Sometimes several! :-) But hey-ho, you can't please everyone, and I'm too long in the tooth to let it bother me. :-)
I will never EVER understand why some people get so obsessed with trying to tell anyone with gender dysphoria how to live their lives. What the hell has it go do with them!?
@SteeveeStrange Exactly! But then again, there will always be a section of society that wants to eradicate all LGBT people, as if we all just dropped down from some alien planet! They fail to see that we are all the products of straight, and sometimes religious folks. We also still belong to families too, yet the religious right always seem to call their groups "Family" something or other, as if we don't know what one is! :-)
Thanks for commenting, Steve. Hugsnsmushystuff to ya! :-) x
@RobNorthampton I just wish all homophobic bible bashers would stop having sleepless nights worrying about the souls of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and what they get up to in the privacy of their homes. ;-)
Rob, again you're a voice of friendly understanding for people feeling they're in the wilderness alone. Wonderful video, and very good to see you, my friend. x
Honestly, I've learned to let people tell me who they are rather than impose my own conceptions onto them. If I see someone who appears to be to be masculine but asks to be considered as a woman, then that person is a woman to me without question and vice-versa; my opinion on the subject would be irrelevant, so I don't waste the time to form one. It saves so much time and energy not to fight other people over how they see themselves.
@TeenTwinkTween Justin! I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. My clunky PC is still hanging on, but IT decides what it wants to do on any given day! I hope you and the guys are doing better. To the PM...
@AncientAtheist John! Good to hear from you! I've not been the best, but I'm still here yabbering on, eh? Thanks for checking me out. I'm surprised that anyone still clicks on my stuff anymore, as I haven't really been 'active' on YouTube for the past year, so it's nice to hear from old friends. I hope you're still knocking 'em dead with your cunning logic and reason! :-)
@RobNorthampton I most certainly am not! I've had my own grip of issues in the past year - physical and mental health related - but I think I've turned yet another corner and have made some progress towards "normalcy". Whatever the fuck THAT is.
I'll check out your videos for as long as either of us stays at this site, Rob. You're definitely one of the good guys, IMO.
Thank you, Rob! I really hope this video will reach some of the young people who would need the encouragement and the advise you give. I think that your age and your masculine appeirence gives weight to your message. It's a joy to see that you care for the young people like you do. Sorry to hear about your health - my very best whishes to you!
@Thomasfiddle Hi Thomas, and thanks! I think if anything, *my weight* gives weight to my message! :-D I really could do with losing some! But yes, I do care that young people shouldn't have to struggle with stuff like confusion over their gender, sexuality or both. Life is tough enough without the naysayers and haters making life worse for them.
I have hospital and doctor's appointments coming up, and hopefully i will be able to get to the root of my problems soon. Thanks for your message! :-)
It's complex...as a hetro girl...i was a TOMboy...cos that was freedom to DO for us girls.....But I do agree...the xx and the xy chromosomes can become a close thing and mixed up at birth. We all start out as female...that is why men have nipples...the penis is an enlarged clitoris...sometime the margins get blurred. And that is hard for those concerned.
@Poemsapennyeach I guess life would be easier for everyone if we all had the same "equipment" and yet somehow still managed to breed. Of course, real life isn't like that, and so many people like to pigeonhole others that they perceive as "different".
Incidentally, I once told a workmate the fact that we all start out as female in the womb, and he said, "I think you should lay off the whisky! It's melting your brain!"
@RobNorthampton No matter...the truth remains...You say...it would be easier if we all had the same equip...well we did at the beginning..of course...The female self produced...xx...but the Y was a mutation...I jest not..this is not a feminist statement...but fact....the 2nd x slowly mutated into a Y...( science diagram to make a point) and the male became about.
@RobNorthampton Aw shucks...women get this ALL the time....never ending abuse...don't talk to me about abuse towards women...or you will get me going..nite nite.
Rob...you again offer guidance, support and information for those on a very difficult and sometimes confusing life journey. Great video :) Trust you are well.
@whistonlass Thank you Jacquie! I think being gay is now a piece of cake when I consider all the problems that trans people have to face. However, people are very resilient, and can often find a happy path for themselves regardless of so many external problems. Given a nudge in the right direction by people who know the pitfalls can only help. I'm not putting myself in that category, but just informing that they do exist! :-)
My health is not the best at present, but I keep plodding on! :-) x
@RobNorthampton Sorry to learn you are not in good health at present, Rob....take things gently. x I realize too that transgender people face a very tough road....your video can only bring them encouragement. Keep plodding, Rob.
@twish1999 I can but hope so, Trish, and thanks very much for your glowing comment. Whilst education about gay folks is better these days than it was, trans people are often still overlooked. For those youngsters that find themselves in that position, it can be a very difficult and distressing time for them. I wish there were more resources available for them.
Great video Rob. While I don't have any issues with my own gender, I have known transgendered people in the past and it's certainly not easy for them.
@ANDREWBALLINA Thanks very much, Andrew! It's a funny old world we live in, but we all have to try to jog along together somehow, eh? There's far too many dickheads out there, ready and raring to throw a spanner in the works at the earliest opportunity!
I may have entertained the thought of changing gender once or twice, but why not make the best of what I am already? Perhaps I have trouble understanding what gender dysphoria feels like to experience...
@fehquig Andy! Good to hear from you! I think you are perfectly fine just the way you are, and have the lovely Cindy who loves and understands you probably better than you understand yourself! Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll be alright!
@parkourDrew4745619 You are quite welcome, Drew. I hope you manage to find the least rocky path on your journey through life. Check out the Mermaids site. It looks promising, and they have trained professionals who know what you're going through, and can help. Also, check out the video link at the bottom of 'Show More' under my video for the female to male transsexual talking with his mum about stuff that you may also be worried about. I hope things work out just as well with your family!
...And of course check out any of the other videos on YT that have been posted by transsexuals, if you haven't already. They all offer an insight into how they are dealing with their own feelings. As for the coming out, it will happen naturally for you when you are ready. If you think it might help, or if you think you will stumble with your words or get into an argument, write down how you feel in a letter, and let it sink in before answering their questions. Good luck with it all, my friend!
I think it's easy to let society force you into a decision where you either have to be the womanly woman or the manly man, with no choice of anything inbetween. Thing is, you've got to find your own way forward, though talking to others can surely help you to do that.
@CuriousMoth I heed and agree with everything you say. Many people still seem to need to put labels on others to make them feel more comfortable about themselves. If only more people could live and let live, the world would be a happier place to exist.
What's helped me more than anything is my wife who accepts me for who I am and whatever decisions I make. I'm lucky, I know like 5 transexuals who got married to someone who wouldn't accept their feelings, all leading to divorce.
I don't have any plans right now to transition but it does still drive me crazy. What helps a lot with accepting who I am is making it clear to others my feelings, and most people are very understanding in my area.
@aphoxema You are very lucky to have such an understanding partner. As you say yourself, Many transexuals don't have an easy time of it, but it's people like you who are not afraid to stand up and be counted that make the world a better place for anyone else in a similar position. As usual, the ignorance regarding gender and/or sexuality comes from a lack of education. The more that people are exposed to variance, the easier it becomes to accept as the norm.
@RobNorthampton When people make judgments, they rely on novelty or obvious things. It's strange and easy to latch onto some creepy guy on the bus who doesn't do very good at looking like a woman. Most people have never had any need to account for the people who pass and integrate perfectly. It's this inherent contradiction that makes awareness difficult; the idea for most is to just live a normal life without the need for disclosure, but they're the best examples that go unnoticed.
@CristianApostol I have to say - you are obviously more curious than I am. When I think of all the things that women have to endure, I'm quite happy to be male. :-)
Hehe, I am a male born in a male body but one who sees me well.. there are strong female influences in me. And I use those to my gain to balance things out.
So would I desire to turn into a female by body? Nah.. I will stick with my body as it is. But I will let my female sides pour through what I do. It is much to fun not to
@masticina I suppose we all have many aspects to our personalities, some which may be construed as male, and some female. However, it's not how we are made, but if we are happy with our lot. I'm pleased that you are! :-)
@Perroquet51 Hahahaha! Thanks for the belly laugh, Marc! But to be honest, I really don't think you'd want my wreck of a body. It's definitely seen better days! :-) x
YOUR TITLE SAYS BORN IN THE WRONG BODY BUT THEN YOU SAY THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM. HOW CAN THERE BE NOTHING WRONG IF YOU HAVE THE WRONG BODY?
ninjascroll6789 2 months ago
@ninjascroll6789 Thanks for shouting your question. It is not *my* assumption that people with gender dysphoria are in the wrong body, but their own. Only they can know how it feels, and if they feel that they are inhabiting the body of the gender opposite to the one they would feel comfortable in, then for them, it is the wrong body. That does not mean that they are in any way lacking as a person, and nowhere do I say as much.
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
@RobNorthampton yeah thats right they were born in the wrong body which means there is something wrong with them. i never said they are lacking as a person
ninjascroll6789 2 months ago
@ninjascroll6789 We have something wrong with us in the sense that we are in the wrong body. Rob said there is nothing wrong with us, meaning not lacking as a person.
parkourDrew4745619 1 month ago
I actually used to be a rather homophobic until I went to University and met gay people and it totally changed my view and your videos confirm I was somewhat misguided as a young man. I didn't hit anyone or anything I just made a few anti-gay comments when I was a teenager. I suppose when we are young and questioning our own sexuality it can be easy to use anti-gay rhetoric as a skapegoat for confronting our own identity.
BritishArrow 2 months ago
@BritishArrow It's no surprise that kids pick up on homophobic taunts from their peers, because we still don't have a robust education system that includes diversity in all its forms. The upshot of that is that people, not just kids, make up their own delusions about LGBTs or pick them up from others. Besides, if people can make one group inferior, it boosts their own egos.
Thanks for being so candid and honest, Dave.
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
@RobNorthampton Didn't you think 'My Transsexual Summer' was a really touching documentary series? I thought it took the whole concept of reality TV and made something productive out of it, it was a joy to watch people helping each other.
BritishArrow 2 months ago
@BritishArrow Absolutely! As you were saying yourself, once you were exposed to gay people in University, your opinions changed, because you came to know them as people. If mainstream society had more exposure to sexual minorities, their ignorance on the subject would subside and they could make more informed and rational decisions . I think the series was a very positive thing, both for the participants and the viewers. :-)
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
I wish more people were as understanding as you (and your accent is great!)
FSrevolution 2 months ago
@FSrevolution Thanks very much! :-)
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
i think of is*
FirstPolopo23 2 months ago
Hell No I look at girls and all i think of if fuking their ass
thats my answer to the question
FirstPolopo23 2 months ago
@FirstPolopo23 Let's hope you find plenty of girls who like anal then.
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
It's unfortunate there aren't more people knowledgeable on this subject. It really should be covered in standard sex education (maybe it is now, but it wasn't when I was in school). I only delved into gender and sexuality because I studied psychology, albeit briefly. If I hadn't I would probably be very ignorant on the subject (and probably still prejudiced). Great video, subbed.
jakebowkett01 2 months ago
@jakebowkett01 I think sex education is sadly lacking in many areas although we are supposedly living in an 'enlightened society'. Thanks for the comment and sub, Jake!
:-)
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
We don't talk enough about gender as a society. I'm glad you're thinking and talking about it, and you've clearly provoked discussion on the subject. You seem keen to talk about trans issues using the right sort of language, and you've largely succeeded, however some of your phrasing/terminology could be more sensitively put. I'm sure that as you read more about gender issues you'll naturally come to understand this better. Again, fantastic that you made the video.
TahaFHassan 2 months ago
@TahaFHassan I'm sorry if you thought I was being insensitive at any point. Maybe if you could let me know where exactly, I could make sure I didn't make the same mistake again.
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
i enjoyed your vid and i've subbed to your channel. you seem like a well spoken, thoughtful and polite gentleman. i look forward to watching your other vids. also in perusing your responses i can see that my initial impression is true of your conversation with others as well. :-)
screaminmeani 2 months ago
@screaminmeani Thank you very much. I post videos less frequently these days, usually due to shortness of free time or lack of inspiration, but I'm not going anywhere, so hang on in there and I'll be back soon! :-)
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
Another gteat video Rob xxxx
tonightwefly 2 months ago
@tonightwefly Thanks very much. I hope things are going well for you!
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
There was a German psychiatrist that said: 'If we are surgically mutilating the bodies of "transgender" people and help them "turn" into the opposite sex, why aren't we doing surgeries to people who believe that they are Napoleon to make them look like him?"
I think there are actually other internal issues who come up at the surface of these people as the feeling of being stuck in a wrong body. And these issues should be addressed and treated, not necessarily the bodily appearances.
grozde 2 months ago
@grozde I'm pretty sure that gender reassignment surgery is never entered into lightly. There is usually a considerable amount of time between a person making the decision and the actual operation. In that time, they are usually counselled by mental health specialists to ensure that they are happy and secure in their decision.
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
@RobNorthampton
Of course!
But if you as a person who thinks he's Napoleon would he happy with his new Napoleon looks - he'd probably also confirm it...
I'm more inclined to believe that out of PD and in pursuit of profit, TG people do not get enough/proper psychiatric evaluation.
grozde 2 months ago
@grozde You may be right, but if trans people are just another aspect of human sexuality, empirical evidence over many generations of psychiatrists conclude that like homosexuality or bisexuality it is not a mental illness. That's not to say that sexual minorities don't suffer from psychiatric problems, but I think that is more down to the judgmental society they live in than any internal struggles. As ever, education is key, and most of us never receive any on human diversity.
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
@RobNorthampton
I just want to clarify that I don't consider transsexuality to be a mental illness; but I would assume that it might be a symptom of some sort of unresolved psychological burden.
Once again, I'm by no means an expert in this field, so I might be completely wrong...
But you are right - education and understanding are the keys.
grozde 2 months ago
Yes. I think I'm 6 foot 5 and built like John Cena.
...although that's only after a bottle of Smirnoff.
DrJReefer 2 months ago
There is no such thing like "I should've been a girl/boy". It's variation. Nature produces all kinds of people and only the one's who reproduce and/or are helpfull to society are the "successful" ones, but in the end, only reproducing counts.
Having said that: Who am I to judge someone, just because variation made him a bit "more different" as others? If people with IQ above 130 would reproduce less, than people with IQ under 130, that would mean, that nature chooses less IQ over more IQ.
HeilLoki 2 months ago
@HeilLoki So, are people with high IQ less worth than people with lower IQ???
That's a pretty big dilemma. Still, I don't think, mutilating one's genetals is a bright idea, no matter how someone feels. Same as someone starts taking drugs (or whatever) to lower his IQ, because of whatever reason.
I don't think it's correct, but I wouldn't make laws against it.
HeilLoki 2 months ago
@HeilLoki I'm not sure exactly what your argument is. Are you saying that trans people should not strive to be the people they feel they could be? The thing is, neither you nor I can know what it feels like if we are not transsexual ourselves. I know that if I woke up tomorrow morning and had a woman's body, I would be horrified, and want to be male again. It's a bad example, but it's the nearest I can imagine....
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
We are agreed that nature produces all kinds of people, but why should only the ones who breed be "successful" or "helpful to society". What if a transsexual person with a high IQ were to discover a cure for AIDS, or could eradicate all forms of cancer? Would that person not be seen as successful and helpful to others? And, (I'm playing devil's advocate here) if that same person had had gender reassignment surgery, what difference would it make to anyone else but that person?
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
All I am saying is that we are only here for a short time, and I think everyone should have the chance to feel happy in their own skin. If that means that they opt to reassign their gender, it has no impact on anyone else, and is entirely their own concern.
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
@RobNorthampton Absolutly, but I wouldn't recommend going to a surgeon, but to a psychiatrist. Again: It's like a depression. You can't cure depression, by trying to make a person happy with a new car or whatever. A depressed person will still be depressed.
New looking genetals don't help transgender people. Man still have XY, not XX chromosomes! You are still the same person with the same feeling, the same genitals (but in a different shape) and have the same issues with your self perception.
HeilLoki 2 months ago
@RobNorthampton Of course, it's "helpful to society" to get rid of diseases of any kind. What I was trying to say is, that no sane person, would tell someone who honestly feels, that he should've been born with 1 leg, instead of 2 (and there are a lot of people who feel that way), that he should cut his leg off. I think, you see, where I'm going. We would tell them, to see a psychiatrist, not a surgeon. That's my whole point there.
HeilLoki 2 months ago
@RobNorthampton And don't get me wrong: That's doesn't mean, that transgender people are insane or diseased or retarded or whatever horrible word someone may use. It's like having a depression. Nobody is a "bad" person or "insane", just because something in his brain is fucked up. I'm pretty sure, everyone has some issues and I'm certain, I have some too. ;)
With "successful" I meant: In the end only the ones who reproduce get their genes on to the next generation. variation + natural selection
HeilLoki 2 months ago
As an atheist, the notion of being born into the wrong body is a non-starter. Something may occur in the fetal forming process that makes the brain contrary to the gender that you are born as. I'am a transgendered male who is probably not a candidate for re asignment, however I get a lot of personal joy and comfort out of dressing up female.
morg52 2 months ago
@morg52 As the saying goes - whatever rings your bell! :-)
Good luck and good health to you!
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
' It can be difficult for outsiders to understand, but we don't have to. '
—Well said Rob. Great video — you have a big heart and I wish there were more like you x
TheraminTrees 2 months ago
@TheraminTrees Aw, thanks Link! Good to hear from you again. I hope you are well and happy! :-) x
RobNorthampton 2 months ago
I really wanted the attention of my brother's older friend. I was 5 and he was 8. I believe that was my first gay crush. He once tried to make my brother jealous by telling me a secret about 10 feet away from my brother. It felt great. Bobby was a good looking cool boy to a 5 year old. These experiences start real young!
marinello6 3 months ago
@marinello6 As a youngster, I would enjoy baking cakes with Mum or digging the garden with Dad. I never liked team sports, but neither did I like dolls and other girly stuff. As an adult, I can cook a mean Sunday roast, build a brick wall, sew, lay floor and wall tiles, paint a canvas, decorate a room, cut hair, plant flowers, change spark plugs etc etc. Do our abilities define our sexuality, or does our sexuality enable our abilities? Another video subject maybe!
:-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
@RobNorthampton The best chef are men...yet cooking is associated with women. Go figure!
marinello6 2 months ago
@RobNorthampton I really like your perspective. As a student of psychology, I've had many classes and read many books on gender identity and human sexuality. It seems to me that our gender identity is really nothing more than a reinforced social expectation. There's no reason why your gender or sexuality should cause you to like dolls over guns or sports over baking. I think we have plenty of examples in our population to demonstrate any combination of things.
TheRavensGhost 2 months ago
It is so individual. If I woke up with a vagina, I would be quite disturbed. I considered my brother a friend yet had a female girlfriend. This is around age 4-6. I had a dollhouse, would furnish it, play earthquake or ask my grandfather to blow cigarette smoke into it so it looked like a burning house. The games I played with my "girlfriend" were usually gender neutral. When she would play with real girly stuff with other girls, I would walk away. I liked playing with both sexes.
marinello6 3 months ago
@marinello6 I think whether we are gay or hetero, we can all experience our male and female 'sides' at different times, but few of us actually feel as if we are inhabiting the wrong body, and wish it were the opposite gender. My heart goes out to people who feel this way. I'm lucky that although I've always fancied men, I have had no wish to be anything other than a man myself. Thanks for your comment, Albert :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
Well...everyone starts out as XX female in the womb...(that's why men have nipples) and then at a certain point one X changes into a Y for the male...making him XY...so it seems very feasible these changes may take an uneven distribution.
Poemsapennyeach 3 months ago
I remember someone who's gender was opposite of their physical body said, "Your gender is not defined by what is between your legs." I thought it was well said because it was simple enough for a tard to figure out.
truvelocity 3 months ago
@truvelocity True enough. Gender and sexuality can become very confusing. I once knew a man who went for gender reassignment surgery so that s/he could embark on a proper lesbian relationship with her bisexual girlfriend. It can be difficult for outsiders to understand, but we don't have to. So long as the people within the relationship are happy, that's all that matters. :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
Probably some bible basher who disliked.
parkourDrew4745619 3 months ago
@parkourDrew4745619 I always get at least one dislike on every video. Sometimes several! :-) But hey-ho, you can't please everyone, and I'm too long in the tooth to let it bother me. :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
@RobNorthampton ^.^
parkourDrew4745619 3 months ago
I will never EVER understand why some people get so obsessed with trying to tell anyone with gender dysphoria how to live their lives. What the hell has it go do with them!?
Love you Rob xx <3
SteeveeStrange 3 months ago
@SteeveeStrange Exactly! But then again, there will always be a section of society that wants to eradicate all LGBT people, as if we all just dropped down from some alien planet! They fail to see that we are all the products of straight, and sometimes religious folks. We also still belong to families too, yet the religious right always seem to call their groups "Family" something or other, as if we don't know what one is! :-)
Thanks for commenting, Steve. Hugsnsmushystuff to ya! :-) x
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
@RobNorthampton I just wish all homophobic bible bashers would stop having sleepless nights worrying about the souls of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and what they get up to in the privacy of their homes. ;-)
SteeveeStrange 3 months ago
Rob, again you're a voice of friendly understanding for people feeling they're in the wilderness alone. Wonderful video, and very good to see you, my friend. x
QualiaSoup 3 months ago 2
@QualiaSoup Doug, I think you give me too much credit, but I thank you for it anyway! :-)
I regret in a way that I am only a bit player on YouTube these days, so it's great to hear from old friends on here again.
Thank you for dropping by! :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
I've always felt that I should be a giraffe.
PluralOfEverything 3 months ago
@PluralOfEverything I think you're right. That extremely long neck of yours is a dead giveaway!
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
(But to be honest, you're too damned cute to be a giraffe!) :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
Honestly, I've learned to let people tell me who they are rather than impose my own conceptions onto them. If I see someone who appears to be to be masculine but asks to be considered as a woman, then that person is a woman to me without question and vice-versa; my opinion on the subject would be irrelevant, so I don't waste the time to form one. It saves so much time and energy not to fight other people over how they see themselves.
deriamis 3 months ago 2
@deriamis I wish more people could take such a mature and positive standpoint. The world would be a much better place. Thanks for commenting! :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
Good video, Rob. I'm going to send you a PM.
TeenTwinkTween 3 months ago
@TeenTwinkTween Justin! I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. My clunky PC is still hanging on, but IT decides what it wants to do on any given day! I hope you and the guys are doing better. To the PM...
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
Good words of encouragement, Rob. Hope you've been well.
AncientAtheist 3 months ago
@AncientAtheist John! Good to hear from you! I've not been the best, but I'm still here yabbering on, eh? Thanks for checking me out. I'm surprised that anyone still clicks on my stuff anymore, as I haven't really been 'active' on YouTube for the past year, so it's nice to hear from old friends. I hope you're still knocking 'em dead with your cunning logic and reason! :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
@RobNorthampton I most certainly am not! I've had my own grip of issues in the past year - physical and mental health related - but I think I've turned yet another corner and have made some progress towards "normalcy". Whatever the fuck THAT is.
I'll check out your videos for as long as either of us stays at this site, Rob. You're definitely one of the good guys, IMO.
AncientAtheist 3 months ago
Thank you, Rob! I really hope this video will reach some of the young people who would need the encouragement and the advise you give. I think that your age and your masculine appeirence gives weight to your message. It's a joy to see that you care for the young people like you do. Sorry to hear about your health - my very best whishes to you!
Thomasfiddle 3 months ago
@Thomasfiddle Hi Thomas, and thanks! I think if anything, *my weight* gives weight to my message! :-D I really could do with losing some! But yes, I do care that young people shouldn't have to struggle with stuff like confusion over their gender, sexuality or both. Life is tough enough without the naysayers and haters making life worse for them.
I have hospital and doctor's appointments coming up, and hopefully i will be able to get to the root of my problems soon. Thanks for your message! :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
@RobNorthampton 'Uncle' is the word i was looking for. You look like the confident uncle :)
Thomasfiddle 3 months ago
It's complex...as a hetro girl...i was a TOMboy...cos that was freedom to DO for us girls.....But I do agree...the xx and the xy chromosomes can become a close thing and mixed up at birth. We all start out as female...that is why men have nipples...the penis is an enlarged clitoris...sometime the margins get blurred. And that is hard for those concerned.
Poemsapennyeach 3 months ago
@Poemsapennyeach I guess life would be easier for everyone if we all had the same "equipment" and yet somehow still managed to breed. Of course, real life isn't like that, and so many people like to pigeonhole others that they perceive as "different".
Incidentally, I once told a workmate the fact that we all start out as female in the womb, and he said, "I think you should lay off the whisky! It's melting your brain!"
You just can't educate some people! :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
@RobNorthampton No matter...the truth remains...You say...it would be easier if we all had the same equip...well we did at the beginning..of course...The female self produced...xx...but the Y was a mutation...I jest not..this is not a feminist statement...but fact....the 2nd x slowly mutated into a Y...( science diagram to make a point) and the male became about.
xyzllii 3 months ago
@xyzllii Yes, I realise this, but try telling that to the jerk on the bus who spits at a transexual because he or she "looks funny".
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
@RobNorthampton Aw shucks...women get this ALL the time....never ending abuse...don't talk to me about abuse towards women...or you will get me going..nite nite.
xyzllii 3 months ago
Rob...you again offer guidance, support and information for those on a very difficult and sometimes confusing life journey. Great video :) Trust you are well.
whistonlass 3 months ago
@whistonlass Thank you Jacquie! I think being gay is now a piece of cake when I consider all the problems that trans people have to face. However, people are very resilient, and can often find a happy path for themselves regardless of so many external problems. Given a nudge in the right direction by people who know the pitfalls can only help. I'm not putting myself in that category, but just informing that they do exist! :-)
My health is not the best at present, but I keep plodding on! :-) x
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
@RobNorthampton Sorry to learn you are not in good health at present, Rob....take things gently. x I realize too that transgender people face a very tough road....your video can only bring them encouragement. Keep plodding, Rob.
whistonlass 3 months ago
What a fantastic video Rob
You always make such amazing videos with such positive messages... this video could help someone so much, so thank you
:-)
twish1999 3 months ago
@twish1999 I can but hope so, Trish, and thanks very much for your glowing comment. Whilst education about gay folks is better these days than it was, trans people are often still overlooked. For those youngsters that find themselves in that position, it can be a very difficult and distressing time for them. I wish there were more resources available for them.
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
Great video Rob. While I don't have any issues with my own gender, I have known transgendered people in the past and it's certainly not easy for them.
The world needs more people like you in it.
ANDREWBALLINA 3 months ago
@ANDREWBALLINA Thanks very much, Andrew! It's a funny old world we live in, but we all have to try to jog along together somehow, eh? There's far too many dickheads out there, ready and raring to throw a spanner in the works at the earliest opportunity!
Thanks for commenting, my friend! :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
I may have entertained the thought of changing gender once or twice, but why not make the best of what I am already? Perhaps I have trouble understanding what gender dysphoria feels like to experience...
fehquig 3 months ago
@fehquig Andy! Good to hear from you! I think you are perfectly fine just the way you are, and have the lovely Cindy who loves and understands you probably better than you understand yourself! Keep on doing what you're doing, and you'll be alright!
:-) x
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
As always Rob, your videos are helpful, encouraging and well worth watching. -Steve-
OceanTownPictures 3 months ago
@OceanTownPictures Thank you very much, Steve! I kind of feel like trailing my toe in the sand and saying, "Aw shucks!" now! ;-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
Thank you so much!
It means a lot to me to be listened to.
parkourDrew4745619 3 months ago
@parkourDrew4745619 You are quite welcome, Drew. I hope you manage to find the least rocky path on your journey through life. Check out the Mermaids site. It looks promising, and they have trained professionals who know what you're going through, and can help. Also, check out the video link at the bottom of 'Show More' under my video for the female to male transsexual talking with his mum about stuff that you may also be worried about. I hope things work out just as well with your family!
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
...And of course check out any of the other videos on YT that have been posted by transsexuals, if you haven't already. They all offer an insight into how they are dealing with their own feelings. As for the coming out, it will happen naturally for you when you are ready. If you think it might help, or if you think you will stumble with your words or get into an argument, write down how you feel in a letter, and let it sink in before answering their questions. Good luck with it all, my friend!
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
I think it's easy to let society force you into a decision where you either have to be the womanly woman or the manly man, with no choice of anything inbetween. Thing is, you've got to find your own way forward, though talking to others can surely help you to do that.
CuriousMoth 3 months ago
@CuriousMoth I heed and agree with everything you say. Many people still seem to need to put labels on others to make them feel more comfortable about themselves. If only more people could live and let live, the world would be a happier place to exist.
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
What's helped me more than anything is my wife who accepts me for who I am and whatever decisions I make. I'm lucky, I know like 5 transexuals who got married to someone who wouldn't accept their feelings, all leading to divorce.
I don't have any plans right now to transition but it does still drive me crazy. What helps a lot with accepting who I am is making it clear to others my feelings, and most people are very understanding in my area.
aphoxema 3 months ago
@aphoxema You are very lucky to have such an understanding partner. As you say yourself, Many transexuals don't have an easy time of it, but it's people like you who are not afraid to stand up and be counted that make the world a better place for anyone else in a similar position. As usual, the ignorance regarding gender and/or sexuality comes from a lack of education. The more that people are exposed to variance, the easier it becomes to accept as the norm.
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
@RobNorthampton When people make judgments, they rely on novelty or obvious things. It's strange and easy to latch onto some creepy guy on the bus who doesn't do very good at looking like a woman. Most people have never had any need to account for the people who pass and integrate perfectly. It's this inherent contradiction that makes awareness difficult; the idea for most is to just live a normal life without the need for disclosure, but they're the best examples that go unnoticed.
aphoxema 3 months ago
i always wanted to be a woman, mostly out of curiosity
CristianApostol 3 months ago
@CristianApostol I have to say - you are obviously more curious than I am. When I think of all the things that women have to endure, I'm quite happy to be male. :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
Hehe, I am a male born in a male body but one who sees me well.. there are strong female influences in me. And I use those to my gain to balance things out.
So would I desire to turn into a female by body? Nah.. I will stick with my body as it is. But I will let my female sides pour through what I do. It is much to fun not to
masticina 3 months ago
@masticina I suppose we all have many aspects to our personalities, some which may be construed as male, and some female. However, it's not how we are made, but if we are happy with our lot. I'm pleased that you are! :-)
RobNorthampton 3 months ago
@RobNorthampton
Oh yes and if a female is stuck in a male body they got my blessings to go for the Op.
We all find our own path in life. Some of us got chocolate cookies on our path!
masticina 3 months ago
I wasn't born the wrong gender, but I was definitely born in the wrong body. I should have been born in yours.
Perroquet51 3 months ago
@Perroquet51 Hahahaha! Thanks for the belly laugh, Marc! But to be honest, I really don't think you'd want my wreck of a body. It's definitely seen better days! :-) x
RobNorthampton 3 months ago