Christopher Titus - Norman Rockwell is Bleeding 4/9

[lb012006]

At noon... or "beer" O' clock lmfao

[FanBoy10000]

i cant imagine titus as a kid i only imagine him in miniature size

[ThatsWhatSheSaid789]

and? And?! AND!!!!!! oh well thats a new one... AHAHAH best part!! =D

[busterporter2010]

i didnt realize i had any problems till you fucking brought it up

[sephiroth21347]

Hey dad, Im pretty sure your supposed to put the beer down first! lolz

[SOA209]

lol we need more comedians like him lol

[c00lstuff1]

WHERE IS THIS GODDAMN TAPE!

[Sulekram93]

21 people are mad because shit hit the fan

[Sulekram93]

"Soon as your confidence returns, so will I!"

[Mokona7654]

21 people are half OJ Simpson and half OJ Simpson.

[mesolovely1]

that shit got cancelled didnt it

[Fireproofretz]

man I reember all of these jokes in the Titus show.... man I miss it

[rac99992001]

@Fireproofretz best show ever

[rac99992001]

@Fireproofretz best show ever

[movieaddict19]

21 people got they're asses kicked by the stuffing

[XKon23]

4:26

[narutowhy1]

"This guy was half O.J Simpson and half O.J Simpson" lol

[8secHemiCharger69]

AAAAAAANNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDD

[waterwind2266]

That chair looks really uncomfortable. Hey! There's an idea! If I were a comic, I'd have a freaking recliner on stage! Most comfortable way to do a show ever!

[imperialwarlord]

21 people have normal families

[lisottachaz]

love this fucking guy hes fucking funny

[sevelev711]

Half OJ Simpson and Half OJ Simpson

[TheFlames376]

"Hello Mr. Titus, this is Iris Stevenson" ".....and?" "well, sir, I'm your mother's Lawyer" "ohhh.......aaaand....?" "well, sir, your mom's in prison.." "AAAAAAAAAND????" Well, sir, She's killed her husband" "oooohh........okay, thats a new one....."

[JonZam83]

Hey you're standing behind the fan lol

[PhysPhil2]

“Hey dad, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to put the beer down first” (play)

[pirategirlfan301]

Mom, can we have a sleepover at Christohper Titus' house? They have a raft in the living room! We can just row to breakfast in the morning! I can actually be Captain Crunch!

[MrIKTPQ4life]

I love being from a slightly dysfunctional family.

[JollyG3]

christapher titus should fuckign adopt me

[Netherwolf6100]

"I think without me pushing you boy you never would have made it" I hate that response. its like a cheap way to justify how harshly you treated your kids.

Man I can't wait to use that one

[vegetafan09]

@Netherwolf6100 Screw you dude. Its just a joke. Hes been through hell and hes trying to make it funny

[vegetafan09]

@Netherwolf6100 I dont know whether to thumbs up or thumbs down that one. and sorry for the earlier message. I sent it to the wrong person. My apologies.

[JubblyTV]

"Well sir she's killed her husband."

"Okay, that's a new one" xD

[Wolfboy093]

I love how after all the bad things that Christopher Titus has went through. He still finds a way to make it funny.

[li9hts0ut56]

the bitch is crazy and he stuffing kicks my ass

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!­!!!!!

[Petelover25]

19 Ppl Are Vampires With Paper Routes XP

[pirateatheart123]

the bitch is crazy and her stuffing kicks my ass xD

[16mcheer]

Hey dad im pretty sure your suppose to put the beer down first!......and touch your own nose..... Hey has anybody else seen a cop that pissed off? Oh dad, do those sticks hurt?

[ProjectOmega05]

"Hey dad, you got a cigerete?" "Yeah hold up. Is that funny, you little son of a bitch?"

[MichaelHansenFUN]

touch your own nose!!!

[Furrylove40]

and that shit got canceled didn't it? lmao

[movieaddict19]

Fuckin hilarious man, Titus is awesome

[xxphantomxwolfxx]

"you could be mid-sentence with my dad, and all of a sudden he'd NNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" xD

[Vampirelover12100]

Manger huh but a real man would own his own business. Now leave me alone, I'm off to destroy your brother.

[XxHellsingrulzxX]

"Then about noon, or Beer-o-clock."

[Netherwolf6100]

@XxHellsingrulzxX Remember, its always happy hour somewhere XD

[NecrisBrock]

19 people forgot to put the beer down first.

[ineedyaoi]

19 people didn't have a screwed up family while they grew up

[Blasted2Oblivion]

You got a cigarette? Ya hold up.....That funny you son of a bitch?

[1xgloopx6]

@Blasted2Oblivion  hahahaha yes it was

[shagohod666]

if i have any kids im gonna be anti-dad. just like my dad was to me and my grandfather was to my dad lol

[DLeo16]

na when the cops call at 3 in the morning i always figure its about my older bro coming back from a bar

[njspit]

The most negative superhero on the planet! Anti-Dad! Wherever there is hope, I will stop it! Where self-esteem rears its shiny head I'll be there to kick it in the testicles!

[TheGeneralCritic]

@njspit Thanks. If you hadn't repeated these lines, my small attention span might never have caught it. God bless you!

[k2daBoose]

This is the guy I looked up in high school and still do :D

[YesWhatBoutIt]

My mom had this thing when she walked into town she would alway attract the alpha loser of that town. This guy was not good this guy was half Oj Simpson and half Oj Simpson with a little sprinkle of Scott Peterson on top and a side of Robert Blake.

[sanctified8]

I'm not going! NO! No the bitch is crazy and her stuffing kicks my ass I'm not going!

[PieMaster1994]

"Eaargghhhhhh! (Snort, cough) hel- grah!! (Snort) arr, hello- raaaaaagh!!... Hel-arrrrrg(cough, cough)... Raaaargh!!! Hello!?!?!?" Most of us feel that way in the morning, right?

[PurpleGem1]

@PieMaster1994 the only difference is that the first word out of my mouth would be "FUCK!!" ~covers head w/shields self from light and hisses~

[chazphenom]

BEER o'clock

[12londongirl]

we can just row to breakfast in the morning. i can actually be captain crunch. thts too cute xD

[Aresftfun]

Pshhh 180 IQ is literally genius. She would have probably been famous more than that.

(Unless he's talking about Hiram Titus)

[mokshalovely]

HAHAHAHA the bitch is crazy and her stuffing kicks my ass I'm not going!

[MaakaKarin17]

"You know how God balances his good and evil right about here? Mom was waaaaaaaayyyyyy the hell out here, man."

I can't watch that part without laughing till I choke. XD

[smokey2124]

anddddddddd well sir she's killed her husband .......oh that's a new one

[thetrooper0341]

18 people smoke alot of crack.

[pokemonty]

hey have a smoke...............hey shot your ass about eight feet did'nt it

[AAAvlar]

lol "and that shit got canceled didnt it!?" haha.. fuckin FOX.

[jonm3000]

at 4:28 i almost pissed myself i was laughing so hard

[thescarletpimpernel8]

"MOM can we have sleep over at Christopher Titus's house?? They have a RAFT in the living room!! WE can just row to Breakfast in the MORNING!! I can actually BE Caption Crunch!!'

[ag3458hg]

They should have never canceled his shows.

[sallyrockswroxy]

i think without me pushin ya boy you never would have made it

[D33DeeD33Guy]

"Hello Mr. Titus, this is Irus Stevenson"

"And?"

"Well sir, I'm your mother's lawyer"

"Ugh and?"

"Well sir, your mom's in prison"

"ANNNNNDDD??????"

"Well sir, your mom killed her husband"

"ugh.............ok that's a new one..."

XD I love this guy! He is alot like Bill Burr, just one of those comics who has a mental unstable edge yet puts it in a way that makes sense to you and you laugh our ass off

[DaUziel]

Yeah, I stopped breathing five minutes into this.

Congratulations, Mr. Titus, you have killed me.

[LittleMsMadness]

hahaha dude i love that part "i didnt know i had any problems till you fuckin brought it up"

it reminds me of elementary when kids would be like "MAH GRANDMA GAVE ME A HAND MADE SWEATER AND SUM COOKIEZ!"

and id be like".....what the fuck...thats weird my grandma holds a knife to my throat threatening to kill me for swallowing gum"

lol xD i thought everyone was fucked up

[ldclyw]

"6 am, I'm like a vampire with a paper route." lol

[lordofthedrums93]

Beer O'clock.

[kittyloserface]

"Sir she's killed her husband"

"Oh....Okay that's a new one..."

[copnite12342]

sobre as a saint...drunk..satan...

2:33-35 epic

[DarkMidget15]

@copnite12342 ... It's sober, buddy.



[copnite12342]

@DarkMidget15 sorry mistyped.

[copnite12342]

sobre as a saint...drunk..satan...

[RevJamesVoodoo]

my stomach hurts from laughing now...........

[DrAchO2]

Don't mess with Anti-Dad.

[FatGuyWithAKatana]

AAAAAAAAAAND!?

[lordofthekings014]

@FatGuyWithAKatana your username just made my day XD

[FatGuyWithAKatana]

@lordofthekings014 my videos will make your day even more probably :3

[TWEC21]

Hey Dad? Pretty sure you're suppossed to put the BEER DOWN FIRST!

[Showergrove]

ANNNNDDD??????! lol

[YaOiFaNgUrL961]

Mom, can we have a sleep over at Christopher Titus's house? They have a raft in the living room! We can just row to breakfast in the morning! I can actually BE Captain Crunch! XD lol

[Sru2012]

I can't feel my legs!!!

[chazphenom]

half OJ simpson and half OJ simpson

[TWEC21]

@chazphenom Scott peterson sprinkles...

[hisyu]

what a h.m.o?

[halloweenfan92]

@hisyu very very shitty money grubbing docters

[Barock3]

anti-dad!

[jrthesoutherner]

im not going......NNOO!!!! lmaof i love that part!!

[iloveanime7]

@jrthesoutherner "The bitch is crazy and her stuffing kicks my ass." XD

[jrthesoutherner]

@iloveanime7 lol

[dig2013]

you could be mid sentence with my dad and he would go NAAAAAAAAA lmao

[shonenjump18]

Ok thats a new one.

[astronaut529]

you think that's funny you little son of a bitch

[carriker420]

and.........?

[ApollosPrototype1994]

6:16 XDD Tht's my mom

[MMA8908]

HAHAHA at 4:28... Pricless

[foreverknight13]

anti dad! That describes my advisory teacher perfectly!

[69suicides]

my dad did the cigerette thing too

[Hyan36]

"Beautiful but more voices in her head then the Wu Tang Clan"

LOL! it surprises me that he knows about them and the crow too cuz they understood the joke

[JonathansGurl91]

"mom can we have a sleepover at Christopher Titus' house they have a raft in the living room!!! we can just row to breakfast in the morning...I can actually be Cap'n Crunch!" lolz hilarious ^_^

[DLMxSoRr0wZz]

4:26 hahahaha

[Nirvash89]

Hey, dad, you got a cigarette?

[Wardag10]

um... i didnt realized i had any problems till u FUCKIN brought it up

[ryan62468]

lol hes the man!

[wahzooo]

this is a pretty intense routine

[Dawnwalker19]

think thats funny ya son of a bitch??

[bjcksn012]

well sir your moms in prison. ANDDDDDDD?????!!!!! lmao

[inner0zombie]

AND THAT SHIT GOT CANCLED DINDNT IT!!!

[REBELSOUTH1]

i can actually be Captan Crunch!!

[kierraberra]

lol I was the coolest kid in 3rd grade

[KaristaSwiss]

oh man 2:00 That Sh-- got cancelled :o

[Mwells5237]

In the show, he says in the negative space HMO's: "We like to save lives but we don't get all freaky about."

[MrMayhem3k]

hey dad, got a ciggerette?

-.-

[30stmgrl]

more voices in her head than the

Wu-Tang Clan

[pirateatheart123]

where self esteem reers it's shiney head i will be there to kick it in the testicles

[nooneknows78]

This is a man who survived 4 heart attacks. The doctor revoked his Organ-Doner card.

LMAO

[nightmiztrez]

She even took the C word... I know I know!!!

[scardman07]

Titus is my favorite comedian...followed by Gabriel Iglesias

[GrantUchida]

lol a heart "epsode"

[ConfirmedShot]

I wish I had a dad like Ken Titus

[DuctTapeUtopia]

This guy was not a good guy. This guy was half O.J. Simpson and half O.J. Simpson.

[nightmiztrez]

With a side of Scott Peterson

[brown5261]

"how do you handle all the problems?"

"well ummm I didn't reilize I had any problems till you fuckin brought it up"

[808kamahiwa]

"6 am i'm like a vampire with a paper route" lmao!!!

[shagohod666]

ur suppose to put the beer down first? so thats what i did wrong lol

[SilverRose5]

"where self-estem rears it's shiney head i'll be there to kick it the testicals!!!" lmfao

[CSDGames]

its not an A is it son???

[heffmiester]

When your confidence returns so will I *flies away*

[ThePotking18]

MY uncle does the same thing at thanksgiving, he eats alot of turkey and then passes out on the couch lol.

[GeneralRenji]

ANTI-DAD

[thecatinthehat111]

Chris: Dad can i have a smoke

Dad: pat pat pat you think thats funny you little son ofa bitch

Chris: now for real can i have a smoke

Dad: pat pat pat Damn

[Marion085]

AND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

[emogurl2451]

omg anti-dad! thats my dad right there!

[itzmeleighann]

@emogurl2451 yeah that's definitely my mom right there hahaah

[katsitsiaientos]

WANTED: loving caring man that can take a BULLET!! LMAO XD my kinda man

[andy5421]

@katsitsiaientos Loving CHECK Caring CHECK Willing to take a bullet: Just don't ask me to and don't be the one firing the bullet at me.

[thegeekifier]

lol love anti-dad

[xXtsunadeismygirlxX]

me too. freaking awesome

[gskaloyan]

Hih dad may have been rough on him but think of how much it probably toughened him up, to the point he actually started his own company, made a TV show, has a carrer in stand up, Chris admit his dad never missed work, or a payment, or the rent, or let his kids go hungry, though he did sometimes.

A rough guy true, but a fair example of a man. Without whom Chris probably wouldn't be as well adjusted as he is. He'd likely be in a institution by now.

[Saiko47]

@gskaloyan Rough man. but good father.

[SuicydeKing]

@gskaloyan good point

[lovefan300]

@gskaloyan thats the gospel truth my man i got a father a little bit like chris's dad and i tell you i wouldn't be the man i am today if he wasn't my dad

[meaningawaitsforyou]

@gskaloyan yeah, in that family i think he had the right dad he needed, though if he was in a family. . .not like that, then it'd just fuck him up

[bigAshizzle]

@gskaloyan Well said. Not only that, but he's turned his dad's negative criticisms into positive reinforcement and comedic material.

[DSB0313]

Heat EPISODE because his last heart attack he was on a hmo LMAO

[cigaro0]

and around noon or beer oclock. yeah that dosent get old for 20 FUCKING YEARS

[atat0707]

Is that episode actually when his dad died, or just a show?

[Marnekaim]

Isn't that kind of the point he's making with this stand up, though? Everyone goes through shit in their life, but there's no point in curling up w/your sadness forever. That just holds you back. If he can talk about his family and his mother and still laugh about it, usually means he has way more mental and emotional strength than someone who'd break down and cry. He lived it, he got through it, he moved on.

[blackmecca14]

It's called being a professional, the people just wanna laugh and not bring too much of your emotional, personal life into it

[outstretchedwings]

And?!

[BitchinnShoes07]

How does he talk about his mom without crying?

[thejpshow15]

it called not caring :) ir happens to the best of us

[BitchinnShoes07]

Well I would be crying about mama titus.

[Zonker66]

@thejpshow15 It amazes me that you think he doesn't care. He's a passionate guy that loves his family. When things get that bad you just have to laugh.

[BitchinnShoes07]

Man I bet his dad hates his ass.

[thejipo1]

and that shit got canseled dident it

[bbliinkk182]

uuuh..did you guys have the turkey??

[johnnybwp1488]

your not going to do that again are you...kkshhhh

[MtofShadows]

Alter Ego... Anti Dad.

[BlackHatMatt2600]

6 a.m. I'm a little grumpy. I am a computer programmer so i can relate

[719TheStig]

some comedians have their good and bad shows, but every special this guy has ever done has about made me die laughing. good stuff titus.

[gothberry16]

I can actually be Capt. Crunch!

bitchin'~

[gretschcatalinamaple]

Graduated high school huh? Well you didnt come close to valedictorian did you loser? When your confidence returns so will I!!!!