Anderson Cooper - The Nth Before Christmas

[goddessnextdoor1]

Oh anderson!!

[gaybot9000]

i like his old studio better :\ it's got windows and everything. pretty nifty. the one he's in now makes it feel like he's reporting from an underground bunker somewhere.

[fizified]

Twas the Nth before Christmas, we finished our jobs.

Not a creature was stirring, not even Lou Dobbs;

The Nielsens were tracked by the suits with great care,

In hopes that good ratings soon would be there;

[fizified]

The anchors were nestled all snug in their beds,

While personal assistants bought rugs for their heads;

When outside the set there arose such a clatter,

I clapped on my lights and said, Oh! Whats the matter?

Away to the window the camera pans,

Revealing a gaggle of CNN fans.

[fizified]

Hey, Cooper, wheres Gupta? Wheres Hemmer, that vixen?

Wheres Woodruff? Wheres Carlson? Wheres Carville or Blitzer?

I spoke not a word but went back to my work,

And read all the copy then turned with a jerk,

And lifting a finger made clear to the mob

That stalkers are not a fun part of this job;

[fizified]

I sprang to my feet, to my crew gave a whistle,

And the fans they took off like a patriot missile.

For they heard me exclaim, At least next time name me!

Happy Christmas to all and to thee, Nth Degee.

[ScarletxCrimson]

Cute, lol.