Software Indicates Missing Child Likely A Prostitute By Now

[OutakuGirl]

Is this show just full of assholes fuk it I was gunna say I don't want to live on this planet anymore but screw it I like this planet YOU get off

[lordsonnyxixi]

gay gay gay fag fag gay fake gay fag retard

[Yepimdatguy]

413 people thought this was fake.

[hunnybee271]

this gay and fucking fake get a life and this news the onion is so gay retarded and fake yuh are just sayin stuff cause yuh dont have a life yuh are saying fake things like yuh are fake to

[SanguisDiabolus]

@hunnybee271 Such eloquence. Stay in school kid, if you're not already a meth addict.

[MrBrilliantChaos]

@hunnybee271 So, where did you learn deep throat from?

[LeonLovesIt]

aww the moms face is so sad :(

[sarahfulker100]

this is so f***ing fake stop!

[BloodorangesAshley]

This is called black comedy. >.>

[CrazyMonkey124]

@BloodorangesAshley Satire is a more common name.

[diptdipt]

In all this game, the devil is losing and at the end will be accused of everything because GOD don’t want any rivals. Conclusion: live at the full in the freedom of GOD (praying in a right form, following the INSTRUCTIONS in the Bible - keeping the 10 commandments - including keeping the Saturday as the 7th day etc.) instead of in the incapacity and limited power of devil because he is just a temporary puppet. Jesus Christ is our savior and our hope!

[gorgeousaur]

@diptdipt Can God not get rid of Satan whenever he wants? If God "don't want" any rivals, then why did he let him stick around for the supposed 6,000 or so years we've been on Earth?

[diptdipt]

@gorgeousaur For GOD 1.000 years=1 day and in order to end with satan, he provided field in order to gather proofs of the worst of the adversary and nowadays looking to what is happening in the world, I don't think that GOD will not allow too much time to the suffer and angry go worst.

[gorgeousaur]

@diptdipt Your grammar is atrocious. I can't understand a thing you're saying.

[dejimmeistahmon4742]

@diptdipt SHUT UP DAMMIT! Do you really think people are going to convert religions because they saw a comment on an Onion News video on Youtube?

[Legitimatemuffins]

@diptdipt typical christian grammar?

[MrBrilliantChaos]

@diptdipt What?

[L4MD4]

"The deep sadness in Tanya's eyes." Priceless, heh.

[smartmag14]

@MattTheWeedMaster i maybe a dude but at least i know what is funny and what is not and this is totally not funny

[mrmalcolm]

Pretty depressing even though it's meant to be comical, ah well..

[Roblox901143]

O_O

[18iser]

This is how they make faces of crystal meth

[Robb9096]

WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO HER POOR MOTHER! THIS FELLOW IS FULL OF SHIT!

[redwingfanfl]

@Robb9096 its fake you dumbass, the onion is satire

[laithinator3000]

@redwingfanfl WHY DID YOU SPOIL IT FOR THE IDIOTS?

[eugeneplusyeah]

April 1st, 2008.

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

[AtNiite]

lol at the end the date is April 1st, 2008

[derwos]

You guys realize this is funny because it's horrible, right?

[alternitivepat]

oh god I know it's the onion but this one was still really sad

[karkarthebunnywabbit]

even if people have never ever heard of theonion there is just no excuse for questioning whether it is real or not....like honestly....i am still amazed by comments from people who are like FAKKE FAAAAAKE....thank you sherlock for clearing that up for us your a regular herashio...

[19nono91]

Lol this must be a joke

[popcornbebop]

@19nono91 yes, of course it is.

[HifeMan]

@CanadaDan1971 people also poke at death that made to be funny even when thousands die everyday. Don't look at everything in a negative way.

[CanadaDan1971]

I don't want to be "That Guy" but I really don't think this is funny. This is true for way to many runaways. I know it didn't happen to this particular girl but it does happen to thousands of girls every year.

[Karopex]

@CanadaDan1971 I see your point but it's supposed to be ironic. Many kids ARE in this situation and things news stations do are pointless and don't help at all.

[RomanEmpire509]

Hahaha. Wat the fuk. funny shit.

[Flabadoodle135]

Lol on the final photo it says "1st April" xD

[yeshuaisraeli]

......she would've bleached her hair blode, to increase has market value as a prostitute......... LMAO @Blondies

[Blankname101]

Damn and whoever believes this is real well it's not so relax lol

[mrs7195]

1:50 the transformation after "she started taking crystal meth" :-D :-D :-D I love The Onion!

[jeremimi]

thats good shes off the drugs LOL

[dwena39]

F'n idiots....

[PhillysPhiladelphia]

Oh I actually thought this was real for the first two minutes.

[KillerPunk42]

Id laugh if she was watching this and she had her own house, red hair, and she was obese...she would be like, "WTF ME?!!"

[onehitwonderwoman]

the meth transformation is priceless!!!

[PabloJalan]

I like satire but this is just tasteless... even for the onion.

[Dman761]

@PabloJalan nah, you just don't have good taste in comedy

[ZenSeizure]

@Dman761 What does comedy taste like?

[1manmafia]

@ZenSeizure Comedy tastes like onions.

[sam61133]

i don't wanna write a essay here bout why i think this could be wrong or something like that but bottom line i'd totally punch the the wanna be nerd and the 2 reporters >not the mom>

[shufflesara]

1:42, so beautiful.

[h0rnd0917]

I think. I saw her diggin in a trash can after she gave sum1 a BJ

[jessivi90]

This isnt real people!

[no1sexgodforever]

the mother's face.....LMFAO BRILLIANT!!!

[MrNottawa]

Epppppppiiiiiiiiiiicc!!!

[chimemonster]

my first thumbs down to you guys.

here's hoping to positivity.

[chimemonster]

yeah onn , even as humour , this was not quite as funny.

i hope for better fare from you guys.

this and other such cases like these are heart wrenching.

[Mossgate97]

@chimemonster I disagree, and i think many, many...many other people do also. I hope to hear less "Supposed " fans who just happen to also be bleeding hearts.

[chimemonster]

@Mossgate97

fortunately the world does not move or bleed as you would like , so keep hoping against hope,

i am not a bleedin' heart ,I find this a little too black, and empathize with the misfortune of a missing person which usually just gets from bad to worse.

[Mossgate97]

@Mossgate97 Too black, so your racist?

[TheYouwontgetit]

i think i fucked that slut last week... it was only $ 50, extra $ 20 for ass-to-mouth...

[naruto4sakura4sasuke]

i wonder what the mother must have felt like with all that going on since its probably mostly wrong xD

[NickyAmerica]

Since when did Onion report real news?

[xeternity4evax]

is this 4 real or what??

[crimzonchyld]

@xeternity4evax

Okay, whenever you see that Onion logo at the top, it's from The Onion and that is a fake show, it's a joke, it's a comedy show, it's black humor and it's NOT real.

[jeezusallahchrist]

@xeternity4evax you really are a mindless idiot

[xeternity4evax]

@jeezusallahchrist errr, thanks!?

[xeternity4evax]

@jeezusallahchrist errr, thanks!?

[Offended83Shadow]

I used to live on the streets as a teen. I should be offended. I am dying laughing my ass off. I know like 12 girls who look JUST LIKE that now

[naveganteenelvacio]

all people in that program are bad. fucking crazy.

En mi pais le decimos "amarillismo".

Trabajen en serio o pidanse un seguro social.

[PuReGoLd982]

she looks like shes been brutally beaten

[TheYouwontgetit]

@cryinglaughingloving ...that is disgusting...!

[TheYouwontgetit]

@cryinglaughingloving ...is she still a prostitute or did i miss my chance...?

[TheYouwontgetit]

i hope they found her...

[Purplemonkeyz1]

I feel bad for her mother she looks like shes about to cry

[thevoodoophoenix]

OMG that's sick but funny

[BadVoodo0]

:53

2:20 DAM!

[Theriot6592]

I laughed at this....am I going to Hell?

[kikoonthemove]

''are those bruises from a pimp douglas''

[yayazein222]

the poor mother

[SICKgraffiti21]

hey, hey wait thats my sister

WTF!??!

[robiiiiee]

LOL!!!!

[vycon88]

hahahhahahaaahha

[ouwetwarrior]

I cant imagine what the mother is thinking when they continue to change her pic LOOOL

[2002bret]

HOLY CRAP!! Im from OHIO, I know at least 50 girls that look like that, do crystal meth and have illegitimate children!

[mymoyasin01]

is this a JOKE, a sett up lol

[whitemage4ever]

At one point she was 6 feet tall, and then went back down to 4feet.

[68django]

@whitemage4ever It's the meth.

[phenomenalclassic93]

@whitemage4ever well she gained 5 inches in '04

[whitemage4ever]

Lols. Her height kept changing.

[24noemidiaz]

wtf is this lol

chicken wings lol



[aomb20]

wtf?



[trdless13]

this is the second onion video ive watched and have just relised its a fucking joke lol but so funny

[colmonhs]

This is disturbing

[NoFaceNowThatsAce]

Bruise from her pimp? XD Onion is sooo fucked up hahaha

[lolitoki]

Great sketches!

[SpikepeejRules]

This is a joke, right?

[aoidwr08091823]

thats a fucking joke

[TheJcc1996]

Wait, i have seen her on my bus...

[seacucumberable]

This is the one onion video I've seen that I think w_hores out for shock laughs at the expense of a cutting societal criticism...

[Primordialfan1]

I can masturbate to this.

[Gragoryg95]

the look on her mom's face. priceless.

[Che8t]

Ha, how to turn a tool shed into a home for your parents. So funny

[rogerbee1234567]

i'd hit it

[rebelslayer13]

"That's good she's off the drugs." lol

[cjcool91]

@GnatMinion .....OH! Now I get it.

[Tavares5749]

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKED UP.They kind of steped over the line on this one

[FFreeLevant]

The Onion... merciless like always

[pharisdrp]

LOL ONLY onion news can make that shit funny they are good at going that extreme&still be funny,the look on moms face.is priceless!!!!!!!!

[IanC29]

haha funny

[krishna687]

wat the FUCK

[baldriss]

omg they are so cruel ! this poor mother, how can they show pictures like this ? :(

[WaendchenWand]

@baldriss really? you're 27 and believe this shit? this video is fake. it's satire. check the onion news network on wikipedia if you don't believe me.

[passionfruit127]

@baldriss its fake lol

[chancy319]

"She would have adopted crystal meth". I DIED laughing at that part.

[abyssalspecter93]

@chancy319 I died not laughing at it because you ruined it, you inconsiderate piece of shit.

[wtbfacepst]

@abyssalspecter93 gay person is gay

[abyssalspecter93]

@wtbfacepst no u

[NoNeedForAGoodName]

@abyssalspecter93

Well,don't read comments before you've watched the vid,douche...

[abyssalspecter93]

@NoNeedForAGoodName I have a big monitor and I see them out of the corner out my eye, dumbass.

[chancy319]

@abyssalspecter93 Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like some cheese with that WHINE?

[abyssalspecter93]

@chancy319 If your parents put you in nursery school and a bunch of summer camps and after school programs, I don't blame them. You're probably annoying as fuck irl, or you're 12 and don't know any better.

[chancy319]

@abyssalspecter93 Cool story, bro.

[abyssalspecter93]

@chancy319 Cool bro.

[SilentShadowOfDeath]

@chancy319 Rest in peace, chancy319. Rest in peace.

[TryMyStride]

I'm going to hell.

[Tavares5749]

@TryMyStride yea every one who even laughed for a second is lol

[Quadroblitz]

She actually looks healthier in the last one. If this was real, I'd be glad she's at least trying to take care of the baby.

[maha77]

i know that girl, i gave her 5$ and some string cheese for a handjob

[makantang]

@maha77 hahahaha

[spinnernet1]

LMFAO!!! I'm literally laughing out loud.

[jesslovelyone]

ROFLMSAO! XD

[theatheistpreacher]

donate to find a pimp foundation

[TheRandomYoshii]

Is it wrong that i laughed my Ass off at this whole video and the pictures of the girl they showed? XD

[TappyBeatz]

@jen2471 of course it's not real. They just make it look real.

[caner6966]

OMG i just gave that girl 5 bucks for a handy behind the 7 11

[jen2471]

Is this real, the poor mother , how do they know that happened. This can't be real

[yuo252]

@jen2471 Its the onion you idiot. Its a comedy show.

[Uzianium]

How much work do they put into these?

[TradeMarkMercenarys]

@Uzianium haha its theonion... they joke around

[samasjacaj]

I think that's my sister. trololololo

[sharks445]

@samasjacaj trollolololololol

[kangto76]

I feel sorry for the network and people making these kind of video. How terrible....

[Rith9789]

No shit Cleveland Ohio for the win!

[TradeMarkMercenarys]

@Rith9789 yay... me too

[triplexxxbanana]

Hopefully she would have her own gang to get rid of their pregnacy to die from chicken wings. xD This shit is so fucking funny

[githm]

I've watched a bunch of these shows and I think I laugh just as hard at the comments as I do watching the show. The ones that comment that aren't sure if it's real or not...the ones that pretend they don't know it's real to bait other commenters to explain, for the millionth time that it's satire...that set up is hilarious...

[getreadyyou]

I can't believe that in a country such as the US would make a mockery of the missing persons epidemic you have there. This is so sick I can't imagine the hurt that this would cause for the parents, family and friends of the 800.000 + people that go missing each year in this country. SHAM ON YOU AMERICA IF YOU FIND THIS REMOTELY AMUSING!

[dinnydorf]

@getreadyyou

not gonna lie, I find it absolutely hilarious.

and I'll have one first-class ticket to hell, please.

[getreadyyou]

@dinnydorf lol you would because you are still a baby and only think of having fun and can't feel deeply enough yet to have compassion for others. But when you have children I think it my open your eyes to a whole new reality. I wish you well........ and peace 8^)

[Dr1Canuckchuck]

Is this show really on TV somewhere? The look on the mother's face was priceless, hilarious.

[Blockanthropist]

I'm afraid it's not likely whatsoever Jim.

[heliogabalus227]

"Are the bruises from her pimp, Douglas?" "Yes."

[TheYouPoop]

is this real? cus the mom looked shocked

[emanrulez1]

@TheYouPoop no

[TheRetroZombie]

lol, people who take this seriously are fucking stupid XD

[xlostxmemoryx01x]

This is all speculation. Thats BULLSHIT !!!!

[TheYouPoop]

the mom looked SHOKED LIKE FUK i feel srry 4 her

[ConfirmedKIll55]

I found this video surprisingly easy to masturbate to.

[NoNeedForAGoodName]

worst titel for destroying the funniest movie moment/joke by promting it...

[ohthatweirdgirl]

30 pounds overweight due to eating chicken wings from a dumpster... only Onion news could hit the nail on the head in such a way.

[b1bIs1337]

@ohthatweirdgirl the baby ate the wings

[1059232]

3 and 8

[myquill23]

Onion did a follow up of this story just a few days ago.

It turns out that Tanya is currently doing well. She was adopted by an old wealthy couple. She also turned out to be a gifted child with an exceptionally high IQ, like Doogie Howser.

At age 13, she entered med school and graduated a few months later at the top of her class. Next year she finished law while getting her med license.

Her adoptive parents are now dead, making her heir to a vast business empire.

Life is strange, sometimes.

[blackjesuscracker616]

@myquill23

faggot go beat off to your happily ever after fantasy



[myquill23]

@blackjesuscracker616

Why? Running out of bad stories to use as an excuse for your sorry life? :-)

[danyel89634lovedrew6]

FAKE AND GGAY

[1ShoT555]

@danyel89634lovedrew6 lol u serious? Onion news is suppose to be a joke.. and this is fkn hilarious i dno w hat ur talking about



[danyel89634lovedrew6]

@1ShoT555 ii know im justkiding

[lifeisfunwithpeople]

they sure have a wild imagination o.O

[terrorlord15]

lol it wouldnt have been THAT bad they coulda made it a little more realistic.

[JDzTH3B3ST3V4R]

the sketcher made the mom feel hella disapointed lol

[BlueBloodTasty]

Great sketch!

[jack101564]

haha i died at 1:45