im thinking about murder suicide. i hate this fucking planet. i want to destroy the people who hurt me. i have no one to talk to. no one can deal with me. i have been to a million psyche wards, seen a million doctors, taken medications. there is no cure for hate. there is no fucking mercy.
sleep is truly so important Jaycee, our modern lives have messed with our sleep patterns and depression is becoming epidemic. try not to watch tv or use the internet after dark, you'll be bored to sleep by 9:30, the next day you'll feel great! Like everything it's about compromise, sure you love staying up late but is it worth the depression? maybe give it a try? I hope you are feeling better soon sweetheart.
Oh, sweetheart. I am sorry you are so stressed and sad. Your ED Family is always here to support you! I am glad you made this video and shared from your heart. Your comments list alone is proof that many around the world are with you in spirit! *safe hugs* You are not alone! Please try to make sleep a critical priority. Sleep deprivation augments the negative impact of every stressor. Be well, precious one!
had a total meltdown. With that said, you are a courageous, hard working, beautiful girl. I know you can do it!! Lean on any support you can right now. People will be happy to be there for you because you are a great girl and I trust that you are there for them when the need it. I'm giving you a hug right now. Sending positive vibes your way.
hey jaycee, I've watched you videos for ages and think you're just the sweetest thing. I wanted to tell you I did almost the same degree as you in Uni and in my last year I found my depression and e.d. to be the worst. I think the transition is frightening. You know, not knowing what you're going to do after. Leaving your friends and wanting to be over your e.d. by the end of uni. It's okay if you don't end up finishing this year...i had to take time off for e.d. treatment because i (cont'd)
I am sitting here watching this and wishing I could just reach out to give you a hug and let you lay on my shoulder and cry! We all go through rough patches, and I wish that there was something I could do. I also struggle with expressing myself, and I am always trying to do things so that others do not get hurt like you said. Sometimes it is good to cry, and I hope that this venting and crying was helpful to you! *virtual hugs* Good luck with your revision and exams! love you!
awwwww:( I hope you feel better. Your videos have hepled me alot with my bulmia. I might be 13 but i know that depression can hit someone really hard. I felt like that for 3 mounths straight. Stressing about grades, my body, and my family crumbling to peices. Durng that time i felt like crap! All i have to say is to get better soon! your such a great person!!! xoxo
It's good to cry baby :'( it's good to cry... promise. I hope this cry felt good... THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! YOU'RE INCREDIBLE!!!!!
...I have faith in you. I have faith in you even when you do not. I love you.
Oh babe :( Its good to cry sometimes and let it all out. just keep thinking, after that dissertation is handed in you dont need to think about it til results, just focus on revison I know you can do it. More importantly however, don't push yourself too hard, depression is a bitch and will take its hold when you are least able to fight it off :( I know you can get through this, Im here if you need to talk or vent.
Oh hon. You seem utterly overwhelmed and scared and exhausted. Depression is an a-hole. It strips you of all of your energy and emotional resources. It sounds like everything has just gotten on top of you. Good on you for reaching out - for making this video, and for showing the real face of depression. Crying is good. Sleep is pretty good too - sounds like you need some of that, you're no good to anything without it. Take care of you please. *hugs*
Hey, don't ever feel bad for telling people how you feel. It's so much better to get your emotions out there and let others in so they can help you. Just find someone you love and trust, they'll want to know so that they can help you. I hope you're feeling a little better. Don't stress so much, the more you psych yourself out, the harder it becomes to focus on actually getting stuff done. Your YouTube family loves you! -3
Hey lovely,I know we haven't chatted before, but i just wanted to say I'm so sorry you feeling rubbish at the moment, i'm sorry things are such a struggle.It's a horrible place to be in, and I hope you can take strength from the love and support of your friends. As the others have said, you're never on your own.Massive hugs and loads of lovexxxxx
Aww lovely :(. i really wish i knew what to say, and in all honesty i dont :(. I'm so sorry you feel so rubbish right now, i wish there was something i could do. I'm sure when you've handed in your dissertation im sure it will be such a huge amount of stress off of your shoulders. Just remember, we're all here and willing to support you every step of the way, wish i could run down there and give you a big hug :(.. I loves you Jaycee, Thinking of you <3 XxxX
Awww, babe! :'( Please don't cry- things wont be like this forever. ((((HUGS)))) Wish I could come give you real hugs. I think you are just exhausted and that makes the darkness feel bigger. You can always call/skype me anytime and just vent. You are not on your own. I'm sure you will feel better when your diss is handed in. You need some Jaycee time to find yourself in all of this. Never feel ashamed of your ED- you didnt choose this babe. You will get through this and you will beat bulimia.
We all love you precious..this breaks my heart to see you so upset...think of our meeting in May hunnie bun :) We have such a fantastic support system and we are all here for you! <3
But if you feel really terribly in another day or so, if sleep doesn't help at all, then please promise you will reach out for more support/help from a professional even if you can. If you are feeling seriously at risk please tell your mum and go to hospital, please, you deserve a happy life! You are the most lovely soul and I'm worried for you...pm me if you need an ear, or if I could be of any help...
And have so much to cope with. You are a good person. Don't blame yourself for how you are feeling. It happens to lots of us. I've had a very difficult week this past one in so many ways, and even when I'm sleeping I'm having nightmares at 37-38!(my b-days on April 12) lol....anyways what I'm saying is...it should pass.....not to make light of any of it. I'm glad you've got your mum tho...
Oh darlin I wish I weren't so far away, I just want to wrap my arms around you and make it better for you! I completely get what you are saying. You are in a rough place right now. You've sailed along good fir a time...now us the dip, your time in the valley, instead of on top on the peak. Life is friggin hard! And you are so young
honey, depression sucks. & w/an ED, it's worse. You are SO not alone. We tend to take on so much b/c we think we can handle it, truth is we cant. & Trying to be positive is usually a foreshadow to a breakdown. There is no shame in this dear, none at all. We put SO much pressure on ourselves that others then do the same & it becomes too much. Tears are GOOD! A cruel release indeed. You're very brave for putting this out there. & bravery is a step toward healing. Msg me if you need to vent more.
Sorry you're so upset, literally had a break down tonight too, so I know how rubbish you feel :( -hence trawling youtube. I think we both need a good sleep!
And i feel i have been very naive in not realising tears are salty! :L
@Snidders oh, im really sorry to hear your feeling crap too! *holds out hand* let's be in it together? let's see if we can squeeze ourselves a good dream sesh in?
aww hun ((hugs)) if i had your number i would phone you! your a great person! your very successful (sorry about my spelling) let the pressure go babes just let it out you doing this vid might have helped a bit, dont admit defeat yet hun you aint lost yet! try relax remember how far you have come! without help if thats not an achevement i dunno what is! your a legend hun! and you got people on here that understand, the depression part is hard but you no you will get thu it! here for you hun xx
You must give me the name of your interior decorator
BoyMonarch 2 weeks ago
This made me cry :'( hope your okay lovely <3
Heathhzz 9 months ago
im thinking about murder suicide. i hate this fucking planet. i want to destroy the people who hurt me. i have no one to talk to. no one can deal with me. i have been to a million psyche wards, seen a million doctors, taken medications. there is no cure for hate. there is no fucking mercy.
666alilthrowedoff666 10 months ago
sleep is truly so important Jaycee, our modern lives have messed with our sleep patterns and depression is becoming epidemic. try not to watch tv or use the internet after dark, you'll be bored to sleep by 9:30, the next day you'll feel great! Like everything it's about compromise, sure you love staying up late but is it worth the depression? maybe give it a try? I hope you are feeling better soon sweetheart.
brindabellaoffroad 10 months ago
Cheer up. The world needs to hear your incredible singing talent once again. :)
Singing can also be a form of healing. Don't give up tons of people believe in ya.
BattlecryXMoon 10 months ago
@lilmover:
Oh, sweetheart. I am sorry you are so stressed and sad. Your ED Family is always here to support you! I am glad you made this video and shared from your heart. Your comments list alone is proof that many around the world are with you in spirit! *safe hugs* You are not alone! Please try to make sleep a critical priority. Sleep deprivation augments the negative impact of every stressor. Be well, precious one!
AnaGirlEmpath 10 months ago
big hugs your way.... stay strong and remember the good times!!
iamoutherenow 10 months ago
had a total meltdown. With that said, you are a courageous, hard working, beautiful girl. I know you can do it!! Lean on any support you can right now. People will be happy to be there for you because you are a great girl and I trust that you are there for them when the need it. I'm giving you a hug right now. Sending positive vibes your way.
debb10 10 months ago
hey jaycee, I've watched you videos for ages and think you're just the sweetest thing. I wanted to tell you I did almost the same degree as you in Uni and in my last year I found my depression and e.d. to be the worst. I think the transition is frightening. You know, not knowing what you're going to do after. Leaving your friends and wanting to be over your e.d. by the end of uni. It's okay if you don't end up finishing this year...i had to take time off for e.d. treatment because i (cont'd)
debb10 10 months ago
I am sitting here watching this and wishing I could just reach out to give you a hug and let you lay on my shoulder and cry! We all go through rough patches, and I wish that there was something I could do. I also struggle with expressing myself, and I am always trying to do things so that others do not get hurt like you said. Sometimes it is good to cry, and I hope that this venting and crying was helpful to you! *virtual hugs* Good luck with your revision and exams! love you!
TheEmmyR 10 months ago
awwwww:( I hope you feel better. Your videos have hepled me alot with my bulmia. I might be 13 but i know that depression can hit someone really hard. I felt like that for 3 mounths straight. Stressing about grades, my body, and my family crumbling to peices. Durng that time i felt like crap! All i have to say is to get better soon! your such a great person!!! xoxo
cheergirl3198 10 months ago
It's good to cry baby :'( it's good to cry... promise. I hope this cry felt good... THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! YOU'RE INCREDIBLE!!!!!
...I have faith in you. I have faith in you even when you do not. I love you.
Singing4Him4ever 10 months ago
Oh babe :( Its good to cry sometimes and let it all out. just keep thinking, after that dissertation is handed in you dont need to think about it til results, just focus on revison I know you can do it. More importantly however, don't push yourself too hard, depression is a bitch and will take its hold when you are least able to fight it off :( I know you can get through this, Im here if you need to talk or vent.
We can kick depressions arse!! <3 <3 <3
Hanziepanzieness 10 months ago
hugs. i feel you. love and light x
favea 10 months ago
Oh hon. You seem utterly overwhelmed and scared and exhausted. Depression is an a-hole. It strips you of all of your energy and emotional resources. It sounds like everything has just gotten on top of you. Good on you for reaching out - for making this video, and for showing the real face of depression. Crying is good. Sleep is pretty good too - sounds like you need some of that, you're no good to anything without it. Take care of you please. *hugs*
PixieEleven 10 months ago
Chin up darling!!! see you soon!! love you! ring me anytime you wish!!! xxxxx
jossyh1989 10 months ago
Hey, don't ever feel bad for telling people how you feel. It's so much better to get your emotions out there and let others in so they can help you. Just find someone you love and trust, they'll want to know so that they can help you. I hope you're feeling a little better. Don't stress so much, the more you psych yourself out, the harder it becomes to focus on actually getting stuff done. Your YouTube family loves you! -3
madfil2012 10 months ago
Hey lovely,I know we haven't chatted before, but i just wanted to say I'm so sorry you feeling rubbish at the moment, i'm sorry things are such a struggle.It's a horrible place to be in, and I hope you can take strength from the love and support of your friends. As the others have said, you're never on your own.Massive hugs and loads of lovexxxxx
helen4231 10 months ago
Aww lovely :(. i really wish i knew what to say, and in all honesty i dont :(. I'm so sorry you feel so rubbish right now, i wish there was something i could do. I'm sure when you've handed in your dissertation im sure it will be such a huge amount of stress off of your shoulders. Just remember, we're all here and willing to support you every step of the way, wish i could run down there and give you a big hug :(.. I loves you Jaycee, Thinking of you <3 XxxX
ImperfectlyFine91 10 months ago
cont... Hang on in there. Love you so so so so much. xxxxx
diaryofabulimic 10 months ago
Awww, babe! :'( Please don't cry- things wont be like this forever. ((((HUGS)))) Wish I could come give you real hugs. I think you are just exhausted and that makes the darkness feel bigger. You can always call/skype me anytime and just vent. You are not on your own. I'm sure you will feel better when your diss is handed in. You need some Jaycee time to find yourself in all of this. Never feel ashamed of your ED- you didnt choose this babe. You will get through this and you will beat bulimia.
diaryofabulimic 10 months ago
yourr such an awsome person i hope you feel beter someday :(
griebel11 10 months ago
I love you so much, you are such a special person, I wish I could give you a massive cuddle right now, xxx <3 xxx
Ilovebobbetty 10 months ago
We all love you precious..this breaks my heart to see you so upset...think of our meeting in May hunnie bun :) We have such a fantastic support system and we are all here for you! <3
xbornindiex 10 months ago
it breaks my heart 2 see u so upset... i love you darling. xoxo big hugs sweetie. xoxo
TheMakeupPixie 10 months ago
It's so hard to watch this because I hate seeing you upset this way. :( I'm praying for you and really hope you are going to be okay <3
questions117 10 months ago
it breaks my heart seeing you like this. I.. I.. don't even know what to say.
itsmefer 10 months ago
Jaycee, I'm here for you. Please remember that. I'm not doing so hot myself, but I'm still here for you. Love you to death!!! xx <3
Donnyboy1984 10 months ago
****enormous hugs******
xx katie
kayteeee99 10 months ago
But if you feel really terribly in another day or so, if sleep doesn't help at all, then please promise you will reach out for more support/help from a professional even if you can. If you are feeling seriously at risk please tell your mum and go to hospital, please, you deserve a happy life! You are the most lovely soul and I'm worried for you...pm me if you need an ear, or if I could be of any help...
Ikimification 10 months ago
And have so much to cope with. You are a good person. Don't blame yourself for how you are feeling. It happens to lots of us. I've had a very difficult week this past one in so many ways, and even when I'm sleeping I'm having nightmares at 37-38!(my b-days on April 12) lol....anyways what I'm saying is...it should pass.....not to make light of any of it. I'm glad you've got your mum tho...
Ikimification 10 months ago
Oh darlin I wish I weren't so far away, I just want to wrap my arms around you and make it better for you! I completely get what you are saying. You are in a rough place right now. You've sailed along good fir a time...now us the dip, your time in the valley, instead of on top on the peak. Life is friggin hard! And you are so young
Ikimification 10 months ago
honey, depression sucks. & w/an ED, it's worse. You are SO not alone. We tend to take on so much b/c we think we can handle it, truth is we cant. & Trying to be positive is usually a foreshadow to a breakdown. There is no shame in this dear, none at all. We put SO much pressure on ourselves that others then do the same & it becomes too much. Tears are GOOD! A cruel release indeed. You're very brave for putting this out there. & bravery is a step toward healing. Msg me if you need to vent more.
TrustorBust716 10 months ago
@wishiwasdifferent :-) thanks beautiful! <3 <3 <3
lilmover 10 months ago
Sorry you're so upset, literally had a break down tonight too, so I know how rubbish you feel :( -hence trawling youtube. I think we both need a good sleep!
And i feel i have been very naive in not realising tears are salty! :L
xx
Snidders 10 months ago
@Snidders oh, im really sorry to hear your feeling crap too! *holds out hand* let's be in it together? let's see if we can squeeze ourselves a good dream sesh in?
many hugs xx
lilmover 10 months ago
aww hun ((hugs)) if i had your number i would phone you! your a great person! your very successful (sorry about my spelling) let the pressure go babes just let it out you doing this vid might have helped a bit, dont admit defeat yet hun you aint lost yet! try relax remember how far you have come! without help if thats not an achevement i dunno what is! your a legend hun! and you got people on here that understand, the depression part is hard but you no you will get thu it! here for you hun xx
covblazebabe21 10 months ago
@covblazebabe21 thanks so so so so much xx
lilmover 10 months ago