Added: 1 year ago
From: agoodatheist
Views: 56,097
Sort by time | Sort by thread (beta)

Link to this comment:

Share to:

All Comments (741)

Sign In or Sign Up now to post a comment!
  • There's an old saying, "There are no atheists in foxholes.". The implication is that in extremely dangerous situations, and it appears death is imminent, people turn to a higher/divine power. Who or what they choose to call on is entirely up to them, but the point still stands.

  • It wouldn't be a prayer, exactly...but the word 'holy' would come up.

  • I definitely don't call god to replace my brake pads. lol

  • wasn't it god who made the brakes fail in the first place?

  • this is funny? what a dick!

  • I'd shift down as far as possible, use the handbrake, put the lever in park, steer the car towards something to slide against to brake, there are lots of ways that DO work..and idiotic ways that do NOT work..like "praying to an invisible man in the sky".. : )

  • Not funny. But then Craig never was funny....it's all about the smile, the swearing, and the accent.

  • a good Mechanic . God can kiss my fuzzy ass.

  • On-Star of course. Craig knew that.

  • @ChristopherakaPaul all I want is facts, I'm a guy who believes in evidence and factual information. God is just as real to me as the tooth fairy or Santa clause.

  • Why does a person who "does not believe in the existence" of the Creator, spend his / her time trying to prove that He does not exist?

  • @ChristopherakaPaul To argue with idiots that believe in an invisible man in the sky.

  • When my friend was diagnosed with a pancreatic cyst which needed immediate operation, we called on The Great Physician.

    When a woman I know in Barbados was diagnosed with a cancerous tumour, we called on The Great Physician.

    When a taxi driver I met was stung in his chest by a scorpion, he called on The Great Physician.

    When I was diagnosed with an incurable disease, I called on The Great Physician.

    If you're ever diagnosed with something incurable, you better call on The Great Physician.

  • @ChristopherakaPaul Hail The Great Physician.

  • It's funny because he's joking... and the christians here don't realize that.

  • We call on doctors and EMTs, not fairies or gods. The next time one of you religious morons needs to call on someone after an accident just pray and see where that gets you.... best of luck! :)

  • @augustmoon0004 I have and so have others and He answers those who are humble.

  • @augustmoon0004 yes with my 0.1 seconds left of time before the car crash that ignites my car spontaneously combuste, let me just call 911 NOW!!

  • This video shows how blind and dumb atheists r.

  • @Terceira73 do you have any evidence or factual information to back up your god?

  • @TheFlowshizle who is blind and dumb now?

  • @TheFlowshizle message me and I will share the information you seek.

  • @TheFlowshizle How can a person who never read the bible describe the God of that bible thru his own personal encounter with jesus?

  • if people are christian just by saying "oh god", then pornstars must be preachers when they aren't on set

  • @pleetf I agree with you. This is a wrong classification.

  • Atheists don't know there is no God just like theists don't know there is a God. Anyone from either side who pretends to know the truth w.r.t. that question is practicing a pretence of knowledge. Many theists don't hide from the fact that faith is requisit for maintaining their belief in God. Wish Atheists could admit that such faith is also requisit for their non-belief in God. Science doesn't say anything w.r.t this question.

    An agnostic friend.

  • @suitabledude I absolutely agree.

  • I'm an atheist and I thought the joke was funny.

    You'd have to have some seriously thin skin to get offended by that joke.

  • @Primalxbeast it's not offensive it's just dumb. Craig Ferguson isn't funny.

  • @Primalxbeast Bill hicks did this joke much better. He asked what Atheists say when they cum during sex, instead of: Oh God, we say: CHEMICAL CHHAAANCE! :p

  • How predictable. Comedians make fun of religious people all the time, it's almost a mandatory part of their routines, but if a comedian makes an atheist joke, which by the way are extremely rare, atheists have to take it all seriously, they cannot laugh at even the silliest joke, they have to whine about it. Anyone that gets bent out of shape or actually bitches about a joke as if it's serious discourse is neurotic.

  • @germanamericanable in all fairness, I think the response given by the youtuber who posted this vid is pretty tame. It's not whining or carrying on for 20 minutes about a single joke, neither is the response angry or defensive. He didn't write an epistle. I think you're blowing this out of proportion. Even if the poster *were* angry, it's easy to understand becoming upset when the majority makes jokes at the expense of a minority. :-)

  • @PlasteredDragon Comedians have done that for as long as they've existed. I think it's a question of intent. I dont enjoy humor that demeans any group of people as a group. This joke is focused on one specific person that was giving him attitude. So I don't see it as offensive towards an entire group. Given that I am gay, I understand quite well what it is like to be ridiculed by comedians (and society).

  • @agoodatheist I don't think you get the point.

  • Actually I say "Oh Fuck!"

  • It was funny. And he's right. It's my irrationality that goes along with "OH shit oh shit oh shit!!!". Throw a Jesus or good in there for insurance

  • well considering god made those mechanics and doctors i guess your calling on him ^^

  • @Debello36 what you did there, I see it...

  • If you die and go to heaven, and you find that you are the only member of your family, or friends , past present or future. who is ever going to be there, Can you still call it heaven!!!

  • @macnefrititi Very good point!!

  • @macnefrititi Yes.

  • @macnefrititi Heaven is heaven, there is nothing else to call it.

  • Wow, this is a little embarrassing, but I call on Craig Ferguson.

  • at least this little prick could be funny...

  • Religious hypocrytes make me laugh. Yelling for god to help you is not only futile, but selfish too. Think of it as if there WAS a god. Why would he suspend the laws of physics to do YOU a favor before the other 7 BILLION of his kids all whisper to him too? Do yourself a favor. Sleep in Sundays, burn any religious mythology, then breathe easy for only then will you be truly FREE

  • These comments here are EPIC FAILS!

  • And yet, astonishingly, this is not evidence for the existence of God!

  • i thank god for doctors and mechanics. comprende?

  • @metalf919

    Why would god need humans to do his own work?

    You mean to say he created the galaxies, the planets, the billions of stars....But now needs man to help him do something as simple as a operation LOL kind of a step down the ladder...

  • @devante1No, He does not need any of us. He is God. Your point is well taken and I agree with you. He doesn't need us, we need Him. We don't do the will of God because we cannot. We cannot because we are wretched sinners and fall well short of His glory. God's mission is not for us to do His will, His mission is to save us and work through us to get His will done. He saved me, a wretched sinner, and He can save each one of you as well.

  • @devante11 Save you from what? From an eternal hell.  We have broken God's law, the 10 commandments, and He, being a perfect judge, must punish us for our crimes. As He is eternal, our punishment is eternal. But He, in His loving kindness, gave us a way to be saved from that. He gave His only Son to take the punishment and die for us that we would have our debt paid and we be redeemed to God and to spend eternity with Him.

  • when your brakes fail on your piece of shit prius while your doing 50 and the throttle is stuck there isnt a mechanic in the world that can save u. better start prayin.

  • who do u call when the doctor tells u your gonna die and they cant stop it? ghostbusters?

  • From what I understand, Craig Ferguson is actually an atheist himself.

  • lmao when something bad happens..........ooooooooooooo­ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck or ddddddddddddaaaaaaaaaammmmnit comes out of my mouth. :)

  • It's not that an atheist doesn't believe in God. That's ridiculous. How can you not believe in the One Who's self-evident? The issue is this...an atheist doesn't want to believe in God. Because if God is real, then He has the final authority. The atheist wants to be his own authority, his own god. It's the same sin that got Satan kicked out of heaven. Oh wait, that's right, Satan is just a social construct. Yep. And so is our national debt, health care crisis, and impending collapse.

  • @andrewdreiling11

    Where's this self-evident god of yours then? Oh that's right... in your little brain.

  • You know why one can never have an intelligent conversation with an atheist? Because they have all the answers. Don't believe me? Just ask one.

  • What a fuckin moron

  • it was pretty funny...

  • stop acting like comedians do not have an agenda... all jokes except for very few attempt to convey an issue, a belief, ... but then how did Abel and Cain have children lol

  • Uh, you call a fucking mechanic.

  • i agree with burori1, he is correct. lol.

  • he is a fucking comedian. dumbass

  • It's a joke. If you think about it to hard it doesn't work.

  • This is ripped from Bill Hicks ...

  • I think he's funny - what does an atheist say in these types of situations?

  • I usually say "Oh shit !!" .... it has the same effect

  • Lol its funny because it dosent matter who you call on your prob

  • He's a comedian, get over it. Comedians crack jokes on everybody.

  • So we atheists take jokes seriously now? Come on, guys.

  • @agoodatheist You're a stupid ass bitch, dumbasses like you shouldn't be allowed to post videos.

  • It's funny because it doesn't matter who you call on

  • Lol I love when butthurt atheists get bent out of shape over one comedian making a joke about them, yet 50,000 comedians talk shit about Christians every chance they get and you guys laugh your asses off like it's the most original thing you've ever heard even though they all say the same shit every single time.

  • We just use a different word for the same thing: "Oh shit!"

  • O.O thats supposed to convert anyone ?? thats just so stupid

  • I'm an atheist who drives a land yacht that gets under 20 miles to the gallon, and I recently totaled an SUV by blindsiding it. My car was a little damaged, but mostly to its pride. The girl driving the SUV was unharmed, except for a nice big smack in the face from her side airbag. I was deeply concerned and, after confirming that she was alright, sincerely apologized, gave her and the officer on site my personal info, and insurance took care of the rest.

    What now, superstitious bigot?

  • well whatever you are, if you take it up the arse, or you read from a bible, whatever you're saying is delusional : " I think Ferguson is making fun of certain Christians or Muslims or whoever who have the stupidest arguments against atheism and make fools of themselves." He is just making fun of the average wack-job atheist..if you think he's saying anything more than that you're more delusional than the people who learn verses of fantasy from books. Go fuck yourself atheist.

  • fuck agoodatheist you small minded little prick, and i say that about all atheists who fly the atheist flag, you all stink a mile away. Get your heads out of your asses your opinions don't matter.If you're so sure about the universe why don't you fucking do something about it? wipe out religious people?oh fuck! thats already happened. To every ass sniffing self-proclaiming atheist out there:it's a slippery slope that doesn't get you or anyone else anywhere.there are more important things in life

  • Is there a god called "FUCK"? Cos that's the one I'd shout for ^^

  • This is Ferguson making fun of people who make fun of atheists, NOT him simply making fun of atheists. Therefore, this video is stupid.

  • @YouTubricant sorry to shit all over your comment because it already stinks so bad. Craig Ferguson IS making fun of atheists. It's actually that type of person who thinks a white beam of enlightenment shines from their asscrack. Get over yourselves atheists and suck it.

  • @KulaAShaker I am actually somewhat of a Christian, haha...and I share your disdain for atheists who think they're so damned enlightened. But I still disagree with you...I think Ferguson is making fun of certain Christians or Muslims or whoever who have the stupidest arguments against atheism and make fools of themselves. But I may be wrong. Eye dee kay.

  • Comment removed

  • ANSWER: I don't call upon anyone. I just swear a lot. It's enough.

  • I'm sick and tired of seeing people diss Christianity. We can believe whatever we want and not all of us are out trying to convert everyone that isn't a Christian.

  • I'm atheist and I laughed. If you can't laugh at yourself, you're a very sad person.

  • I CALL UPON YOU GOD, USE YOUR MAGIC POWERS TO SAVE ME!

  • @PALETRON87 yeah right on!! because I already called the fucking AA and they wanted to charge me 100 quid! so I said screw you, you fucking heathens, I know who to call...GOD!!..yeah, he's on my side! him or the ghostbusters should do it.

  • I know who you wouldn't call on, and thats some piece of shit in the sky who's already given you a life time of misery.

  • Comment removed

  • I'm calling upon my bad-ass driving abilities! XD

  • I'm calling upon my bad-ass driving abilities! XD

  • @agoodatheist i feel sorry for you man, can't you see he is just making a joke, i bet you said "religious people are narrow minded with no sense of humor" i think in that case you are being just the same, everybody on the video were laughing, i don't think they are all christians but they have tolerance and some sense of humor, stop taking everything so serious and get a life driving your pryus hahahaha

  • There are no good athiests.

  • @mrjiveyjr Christopher Hitchens was a really good atheist. Richard Dawkins continues to be a good atheist. Stephen Hawking, as long as he is still living, contributes much to the atheist cause. And you know why i made a witty remark revolving around sentence structure rather than properly responding to your claim? Because your claim is asinine, baseless, and a piss poor resemblance to rhetoric. And by the way, i'm a real good atheist ;)

  • @proprodigySD You have no soul. You have no moral compass.

  • @mrjiveyjr "there are no good atheist" spoken like a true braindead religious nut-job

  • @MrMilagroqq Thanks for the input dummy.

  • Honestly, I wish people would see that Craig was just being a comedian. It wasn't an actual shot at Atheism, It was just a funny thing that he said. Have a sense of humor and stop trying to disprove religion on every video. Ooh, someone is openly Christian, big fucking deal. In fact, while we are on it, we all need to learn to stop disproving each others beliefs. People think this current generation is screwed yet, all the previous generation does is argue like little bitches.

  • @ThatIndianGuy7116 Hi, having watched this, I don't think he is openly Christian actually. What the fuck gave you the idea he was choosing sides. Fuck every little prick who thinks this guy is this way or that just from watching a video. IT IS NOT IMPORTANT.

  • @KulaAShaker I wasn't saying HE was openly Christian. I was saying the idea of someone being openly christian or openly atheist or whatever seems to be so weird to people nowadays. Sorry, i guess I should have been a bit more clear. My apologies.

  • @ThatIndianGuy7116 no probz mate

  • @ThatIndianGuy7116 Actually that kind of primitive thinking is dangerous and generally holds the world back. I for one encourage every person to rip on every religious person as much as possible and hopefully one glorious day this scourge of retardation will leave our planet.

  • @ThrowDownArtists Primitive? If you're referring to Christianity, it was ahead of its time - and still is.

  • @zenalaus In my opinion, no religion is ahead, or behind, or in it's time. most of them involve a past or future that is so vastly different from ours that you wouldn't even see how they are similar

  • @zenalaus LOL what a fucking joke. Were you dropped on your head as an infant? Oh thats right you were brainwashed as a child. .....Ahead of its time....*chortle*

  • @zenalaus christianity was created to stop primitive people from murdering each other in a primitive world. It was necessary to convince the absolute fucking retards of the past that they had to behave. Now it is a dangerous and evil cult that needs to be eradicated, in my opinion all you religious people need to either convert to atheism now or die. pick one.

  • @ThrowDownArtists That's not really going to get people to join your cause. Just sayin'.

  • @pas84av2 Time for getting people to join is over. They need to die now.

  • @ThrowDownArtists all the religions in the world today are cults. if they pay taxes they are a reliogion. if they don't pay taxes they are a cult

  • @briney1973 who cares, its their retarded and dangerous beliefs that need to end. i could give a fuck if they pay taxes. they are all viruses and need to be eradicated.

  • @ThrowDownArtists hey amigo,I know your kinda pissed about the religious people of the world. but look man, that very strong opinion you have about them, they share that same opinion about you. there is no reasoning with either of you two groups. I remember a time when I could just be cool with an atheist, but now you guys are all hardcore and I'll be honest just too damn preachy for me (sound familiar?). plus your platform sounds like Hitler's. you really think that'll help? NEIN! NEIN! NEIN!

  • @travisdalewhite plus. I'm friends with a lot of christians, and I'd be willing to bet they have more guns than you...seriously come down to the bible belt with talk, they'll show you how they throw down. and believe me it won't be that artistic.( hint that was a bit of wordplay with your profile name. not trying to poke at your intelligence because I know how touchy you guys get about that) Also when did being atheist mean your a genius? bc I know an atheist and he's as dumb as a box of rocks.

  • @ThatIndianGuy7116 It's okay for people to try to disprove other people's beliefs. Just try to do it respectfully. Anyways, yes, Craig was just being a comedian. Comedians are just comedians. They say a lot of things. But this 'answer' video is silly because it's not a question of 'either or.' Where did anyone get the idea Jesus was against science? Where did anyone get the idea Christians don't become scientists or go to doctors? Fringe groups? Fringe groups r in everything.

  • ?what do you call when you are in a falling plane

    A good mechanics to fix a flying plane from falling or a well qualified doctor that will fix you after falling!!!

  • @alialshaikh [?what do you call when you are in a falling plane]

    Personally, I would call upon the god of excrement because I would be screaming "OH SHITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!"

  • @sleazybtd screaming OHHHH SHITTTTTTT!!!!! well end up by you falling directly into an assHole

  • there is still plenty of gas in the tank so yell TORA! TORA! TOYODA!!!!

  • I'm an atheist, and a Craig fan ... is he really a believer or is this just comic material? He seems smarter than that to me, but perhaps I'm wrong ...(no, not wrong about the 'god' thing)

  • fuck i just wanted to hear sum comedy ruitines and i ended up in strange youtube *clicks back button twice

  • try praying and read your bible that should do it if you have faith ``just watch what ya say when your talking about god ```you will regreat that day```there is only one way and that is through JESUS```the olny way ``later america`

  • We don't call for anyone. We say fuck, shit, crap, motherfucker, piece of shit car, etc, etc.

  • And that's assuming we call out anthing 8U

  • Simple, we go "FUCK!"

  • @Burori1 THEN GOD FUCKED YOU

  • @KulaAShaker ... Stupid.

  • Comment removed

  • Comment removed

  • @KulaAShaker God fucked me just as much as Superman fucked you. No wait, Superman was actually a good character u _ u

  • Dick!

  • i damn god, because it was the damn christians that got us to this point.

  • As Craig would say: "IT'S A JOOOOOKE!!!"

  • Ha-ha!

  • WAIT WUT IS CRAIG A DEIST!?!

  • hold on i want to pull a christian.

    "typical christians" right because you know when a person starts off with typical its going to be a good one. typical christians always in there mind when the word god is used.... its instantly there own. damn it i hate that word typical. but what i said has truth behind it.

  • heh as good as christian rock

  • A tow company. Like most theists. Does God come and start your cars?

  • even the text response to the comedy has it wrong. It is too late to call on a good mechanic and if the accident is major it will be too late to get help from a good doctor. Putting yourself in the hands of God is not such a bad thing.

    Also who said it was medical science versus God. Certainly not the Christian doctors I know.

  • atheists are funny people

  • The Bible LOUDLY states, that the cross(of Jesus) and basically all things related to it(Bible), are foolishness, to those who perish. I feel sorry for yas. No really.

  • @TucoGBandU I feel sorry for those who were indoctrinated to fear skeptical inquiry, not just with whatever religious dogma you adhere to but most others religious dogmas as well

  • Creationists, what do you think you are filling up your car with? (and on the third day god created crude oil). Morons.

  • @MrShepperson Oh, yeah. Fossil fuel comes from -- fossils!! Those things God salted the desert with to test our faith.

  • I don't see why people care about what other people believe? If you want to believe in an infinite void of nothingness then go right ahead, or if you want to believe in a higher spiritual being than go right ahead. The more people make fun of another belief, just makes their own religion or belief seem like it's filled with a bunch of Douchebags. You should just call Christianity, Douchebagianity or Atheism, Douchebagism.

  • Dissecting a joke is like dissecting a frog: Nobody's really interested and it kills the frog.

  • @qdHazen Actually the quote is: "Analysing comedy is like dissecting a frog. Nobody laughs and the frog dies."

    Ironically, you told it wrong and could have made it funnier by doing it properly.

  • do atheists love their families? because they are just chemical reactions?

  • @ikawpipa Absolutely not. We just wait for our wives to go into heat and copulate then. *sarcasm*

  • @sudburylawyer - life has no meaning for atheists.

  • @ikawpipa that's right. We give our lives meaning.

  • @ikawpipa You're thinking of nihilists...

  • @haugaard - ok thanks.. are nihilists also atheists?

  • I call State Farm. State Farm is there, with a tow truck!

  • i dial 999 or if in the US 911..

    

  • @lilmissmachiavelli I was just telling a story from my life. It was in response to the the end of the video and the point of my story was doctors being good at what they do does not disprove the existence of God. may God bless you in all that you do....

  • Comment removed

  • i just smoke weed