Brooke Alvarez Attempts To Connect With The Common Man By Answering Viewer Questions

[SuperWarking]

I have a question for you Brooke. You are hot and very attractive.

[TheSolitaryTraveller]

She nailed it, that was a genius answer.

[Evanest25isBack]

Question for lady Alvarez: how you are so damn hot at your age?

[Catandthespoon]

she isn't funny

[Fettster777]

If she started doing porn I would jack so much to until my testicles could no longer produce semen.

[JMaSsA11]

i want the regular onion videos back!

[TheExileElite]

the end

[OnlySticksAndStones]

@TheExileElite I laughed pretty hard

[TheExileElite]

@OnlySticksAndStones may God bless you with health and wealth good sir.

[TheExileElite]

OWW I BURNED MY FINGER AAHHHH SH?IT WHHTY AMM I STTIOLL TYPININGG??":

[TheExileElite]

IT"S ON FIRE NOW

[TheExileElite]

OH SHIT I SPILLED WATER ON MY LAPTOP

[TheExileElite]

oh man i just got blood on my keyboard. just gonna wipe it off.....

[TheExileElite]

shit it's bleeding.

[TheExileElite]

ahhhh it hurts so bad ahhhhh God help me!

[TheExileElite]

i just stubbed my toe mother fucker aahhhhh! still posted a comment though, cause imma fuckin thug. ahhhh shit.

[zvi303]

Wow! The Onion avoided using a obscenity. Perhaps they're graduating to 11 grade humor.

[crackface5]

You can tell by her neck that she sucks a lot of dick.

[articcoyfox]

WOW even Brooke Alvarez knocks around in a simple t shirt!!! Stars they are just like us!

[YurrahAlHadi]

Wow, ppl, meaning guys, can very sick. Whats up with all the sexual comments?

[lexxypexxy]

is that her real name?

[tissuekins]

Man she is hot, my dick wants to ask her vagina some questions.

[nzst2011]

I'm on a horse.

[Defenestrati2700]

Doesn't the header say "viewer questions", plural. Damn you Brooke Alvarez, damn you... Oh, no, wait, I'm sorry don't be mad Brooke I love you.

[weirddudeonice]

@greycloud24 I didn't say you did, but alright, I see what your saying.

[LordXehenniar]

Brooke says FU to trolls

[britishcoder]

Total crap. The Onion used to be really good. The most amusing show(for me) has always been Today Now. More of that, please. Also the round table show is excellent.

[WillShakespeare2007]

@britishcoder - Why should they give a fuck what you like? You are not even American, so you are basically getting free entertainment and then complaining about it like a bitch. What are you offering in return?

[britishcoder]

@WillShakespeare2007 Troll much? You have to be trolling because no one can be so stupid as to not realise that all The Onion cares about is ad views/clicks(money) and doesn't give a crap from where the click comes.

Further, if you're actually serious and don't get that William Shakespare(I'm, referring to your username here) is British and you're STEALING by reading his books for free, you're a moron. And yes, of course the whole stealing thing is a joke, just like your reply to me.

[WillShakespeare2007]

@britishcoder - William Shakespeare has been dead for 400 years, with no living relative and even if he did his work would have been out of copy right for 300 years.

My point is you are a typical whiny little bitch that even though you are getting free entertainment you are still complaining when you offer nothing in return. I would add that this is a U.S. TELEVISION show you fucking idiot. That is how they pay for this. Do you think you clicking here pays for it? Fuck you're an idiot.

[britishcoder]

@WillShakespeare2007 Clearly you're trolling, as I previously said. If you're serious, you really are a moron.

This content is ad-supported on TV in the US and put on YouTube for both of us to view. It's ad-funded on YouTube, so my location really doesn't matter; if they had some problem with people in my country watching it, it would be unavailable.

Given that I'd be more likely to click an ad shown within better content, I'm offering suggestions as to how they can make more money.

[WillShakespeare2007]

@britishcoder - No! The Onion put $1 million dollars into producing YouTube content to build a following. The ad revenue on YouTube is not close to what they need to produce their work. They used this to get a TV deal. They just signed for a second season which mean they can continue to produce work. If cunts like you slag it off all the time it might get dropped and then it stops. You get it for free as the YouTube adverts are irrelevant to their income. Why complain and destroy it?

[FortyFive456]

@Darkwave70 you really have to do that? come on... Youtube is made for videos, not for "TOP COMMENTS", thats so douchy

[FortyFive456]

@Darkwave70 you really have to do that? come on... Youtube is made for videos, not for "TOP COMMENTS", thats so douchy

[davidls11]

Didn't these used to be more amusing?

[scottg4520]

I had an orgasm just by looking at her without touching myself :)

[xthevenomouskissx]

LMFAO the comments XD *DEAD*

[MrNemitri]

who is she supposed to parody anyways?



[katsumorymoto]

I'm still crying from the honesty in that answer. ಥ_ಥ

[One777oto72ide]

@Darkwave70 ctrl-f Polyfusia

its not hard

[weirddudeonice]

I feel so bad for her... I hope they keep her away from the comments section on these videos XD

[greycloud24]

@weirddudeonice i am assuming than that you assume that women are weak and emotionally unstable? i don't feel bad for her in the slightest, she obviously must have a sense of humor or she is in the wrong field. either way she deserves the trolls, stalkers, creepers, and the rest of the scum that comes with being any form of public star.

[weirddudeonice]

@greycloud24 What in the hell is your problem? That's something that anyone should find a little creepy, it goes well beyond humor. And while being a public figure will guarantee you some strange stalkers, creepers, and trolls, every other comment about you shouldn't be someone saying they want to fuck you...

[greycloud24]

@weirddudeonice i don't have a problem, i didn't say i wanted to fuck her (i don't in fact, she is too ugly). but my comment in parenthasis there is probably more offensive to her than the idiots saying they want to screw her. if you work with the public for very long, you realize that the public is mostly made up of idiots that should be ignored for the most part if possible.

[Shyhalu]

@weirddudeonice why not? we hearts hot chicks and lesbians

[69hockeyman69]

@weirddudeonice if youre offended by the onion or any comments related to the onion, you dont get the onion

[weirddudeonice]

@69hockeyman69 What? "God damn, everyone there needs to DIE! I'm not fucking kidding, the Onion is retarded as hell, and these people are asshole cunt-mongers. Start flagging ALL of their videos so we don't have to be around this shit!"

That is a possible comment related to the Onion. plz stfu.

[icecreamcakeandpiex]

Her voice sounds like Charlie Sheen in a girl's version and sped up O_o

[BrothersGroove]

I'm the 39,999th viewer :(

What the hell? Seriously! What the hell?!

[Jenna08848]

I totally agree Brooke. I have taken my 78 year old parents to court because they had me without being able to keep me in a lifestyle to which I would like to be accustomed too. How wtf arrogent are they to give birth to me without including a silver spoon. The nerve of some folks. I will see them homeless out on the streets when this is over.

[TheConSept]

Where is it? WHERE IS IT? I just can't seem to figure this out. It's so hard when you don't have a light....

[HectorL360]

I call Rule 34!!!

[BoltaVS]

i just can't see what is so sexy about this woman to all of you people oO

[EuchridEucrow1]

@BoltaVS

You're probably a woman.

[BoltaVS]

@EuchridEucrow1 no i'm not,in scale 1-10 she's about 5,and i really don't see whats wrong with all of you people,maybe its some kind of joke that i just don't understand...

[kaisergrendel]

@BoltaVS 5 out of 10? Huh?

[BoltaVS]

@kaisergrendel what? huh? what?

[kaisergrendel]

@BoltaVS Hunh?

[BoltaVS]

@kaisergrendel what?

[pjerforever]

people saying shes hot......your all fucking crazy, shes old and loos as fuck, i recommend that you all go and get your eyes checked

[BoltaVS]

@pjerforever EXACTLY !

[Qermaq]

I like Brooke, but need more Andrea. :)

[Steven4152]

Wow you guys are seriously the most sad and pathetic group of people on the internet. Or you are just trolling. Pretty much the same thing, whether you are serious or not.

[LordCorinth]

shes got a looooong neck

[Muzikman127]

@LordCorinth woah.

[liveleakTV9]

"Here is a question posted by Mark Woodland on Facebook. He ass...."

Seriously? Just fucking pronounce "ask!"

[Skindoggiedog]

@liveleakTV9 "Seriously? Just fucking pronounce "ask!" "

asks*

[BeAnBeAn22]

ewwwwwwwwwwwwww all you fuckers are over 30 no wonder u sick fucks.

[pandadardar]

I'd do her.....

[farneyblakeley]

I like the other chick a lot more, dark hair, don't remember her name, Brooke is lame in comparison

[TheKlink]

Both work for me. Thanks Brooke!!

[jnguyen0749]

She's wearing the same thing as the last episode, minus the hoo-die :D

[Alenahhh]

and that's how sue c's it

[sylvur]

OMG! She like answered everything that was like WTF about my life!!! Thank you Brooke!

[reasonformirrors]

Brooke, you look chill as fuck, like we could just have a beer and talk about Tom Brady or some shit.

[larssonk22]

Brooke, what happened to Walt?!?!

Waaaalt!!

[ProJanitor]

i bet all types of shallow end of the gene pool dumbasses send emails to them

[justplainruk]

Psh. Pretending she's trying to understand us unwashed masses while wearing a New York T-shirt. NOT EVERYONE LIVES IN NEW YORK, BROOKE ALVAREZ!

[themanwiththepan]

She's not Mexican.

[salasrcp90]

@themanwiththepan no shit dumbass Brooke Alvarez isnt even her real name.

[lostship47]

@themanwiththepan She could be. I knew a half-Brazillian guy who was as white as it gets.

[Xezatt]

old lady

[frankgon4]

Suzanne, I don't know how you keep a straight face. Always good for a laugh.

[alwaystextback]

Spot on answer!

[Hyper92793]

Would someone believe me if I well you this people doesn't exist and they are CGI

[kurumais]

the brooke alvarez sex tape remains unleaked at this time

[cbcsmithers]

@PnzrDiv666 HAHAHA I seriously hope that gets on the show.

[NicosMind]

@PnzrDiv666 I checked. She said yes. But she wants you to stalk her and take her by surprised. Ans dont lub anything up just ram it right in there!!

[shadowC10ne]

I don't know...Mark Woodland's question was perfectly clear yet she was kinda rude. Who would risk that?

[tomthefunky]

Michelle Obama is a man.

[mattakudesu]

i think im voting for this woman...

[RoundenBrown]

Mike

India

Lima

Foxtrot

[sw204me]

Is she never not amazingly hot?

[tawfikakkad]

bangable

[onyxxx101]

is this naked news?

[pedosintalgon]

sweet sweet Brook... I'm going to masturbate now.

[bakersfieldmusicnow]

well put .

[passivepower]

I want to be inside Brooke all day err' day.

[jazzer741]

I want to have sex with her more now, now that I know shes normal like us.

[ThisIsNotPictureTube]

thanks, cutie

[TheSilverDubber]

Perfect delivery, DAYUM!!

[xSobhan]

lol

[Mcupobob]

Wheres the Hoooodie? I feel uncomfortable by all this formal wear.

[PsychoticOperaSinger]

The Psychotic Opera Singer says make Opera and not Youtube videos! Hey Hey!!!

[FxckCensors]

You know whats funny, I Googled her and she used to be an anchor woman for Fox.

Not too much of a change fore her.

[Anarchist86ed]

@FxckCensors except this news is more realer.

[ericstrattendgtmy]

Self important New Yorkers could suck more if they tried. Globalists kill your finest on 9-11 and you cower in fear, say nothing, and watch your lame Yankees.

[VegeXP]

@ProjectRegenesis View all comments > press CTRL+F and type what you want to search

[n3wtype]

o cool ur wearing a tee shurt

[culwin]

Can we get a video of Brooke doing nothing but saying curse words?

[brendan129]

I want to make porn with you.

[cromartie800]

No Hooodie???

[CallMeSlejvXD]

*nods* good question! 

[GustavoMsTrashCan]

wat

[WulfBand]

Hey Brooke, will you go out with me ? :)

[calebp9503]

LMAO!

[RJTamm93]

I wonder what her actual personality is like...

[MrHotshott101]

shes hot 

[b0h3ma]

[immature dick joke]

Imma be so meta, fo sho!

Fuck gramma!

[assfuck37]

i love you!

[Sammys09]

She took the hewdie off!!!

[yellowcougar18]

@Sammys09 Hey, maybe we'll get luck, like the naked news, and she'll start removing clothing during every video...

First the hoodie, then the tee-shirt, and on and on...

Excuse me, I gotta take a cold shower.

[FletcherHabit]

Her &%@! does stink, it's just that it stinks like flowers

[Suomiis]

Did anyone notice that she has the exact same clothes as in the first video minus the casual hoodie? :D

[LetMeBeMe]

@Suomiis You're implying that these two videos were shot in the same day? :O

[AJEdaAssassin31491]

She would be an excellent female comic.

[kinkyjelly]

Solid answer.

[louisuniverse]

i mean, she's really a people person right ?

[MrBiwinner]

now i have to look for Polyfusia... thx youtube

[machewbaccas]

@MrBiwinner are you like, expecting a thumbs up or something?

[IngloriousBastard911]

why do i like milfs?

[sanseg]

this is like.. thats it, you know, its all one needs to know.

[Sammys09]

WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!! I NEVER GET TOP COMMENT!! WHAT THE HELLLL

[JVhapu]

@Sammys09 you just don't have anything interesting or funny (ORIGINAL) to say.

[IIPozZeZzedII]

can you sit on my face and let out a big stinky,bloody,puss filled fart into my mouth?

[iannetta11]

I don't get it.

[Jugularkill]

@iannetta11 Every video by The Onion is based on real life news, but as a joke version. I take it that some real life news reporter attempted to "connect" with viewers and they found it funny.

[iannetta11]

@Jugularkill I lied. I did get it. Also, CRESSBECKLER 2012 !!!

[nightwing20050089]

MILF.. ^_^

[loupgarou5z3w]

How is it that Fox News hasn't hired Brooke? She's blonde & prettier than Monica Crowley.

[MrChessguy2]

@loupgarou5z3w She originally was with FOX I believe. So, she had experience in the field before the onion. :P

[flipgood89]

@loupgarou5z3w ...she was fired for having a brain

[OmegaPisces]

I'm confused... is she Spanish?

[Snipe4Life9001]

Makes total sense

[maniek1st]

brooke we wuv u <3

[ivanovsd]

Pffffff a definite MILF !!!

[WaKeZnDrAnKz]

brooke Why is your neck so long? are u an alien?

[TheOkham]

Bloomberg has a reporter that looks very much like Brooke

[P0IS0N]

I'd give blood to see her take off that shirt.

[leedaomillz]

@P0IS0N

Then you wouldn't have the blood to maintain a proper boner :|

[votumseparatum1]

@leedaomillz LMAO!!

[Nick4563880]

I only like new York as a friend

[MrBigRedKoolaid]

she has a long neck

[Snowflake70]

People talk a LOT about Love.... but what they fail to realize is that the opposite of love is not Hate....it's indifference.

Thanks for providing your sh*t - AKA fertilizer to the garbage heap. We appreciate all that you do - -

[xlhotlx]

this was stupid...why dosent the vid have more dislikes?

[RealKeenan]

she is so gracious to come down from her mountain to the mountain that normal gods come down to to send a lesser god with a message and a couple of used tissues of wisdom for the mortals

[pchtermino1]

Awwwwww sigh! The future ex Mrs Pchtermino

[hudiegirl]

@defect530 i know right im unsubscribing because i never watch their videos anymore

[brianific]

LIIIIIEEEEESSSSSS!!!

[wuz352]

I like New York, too. I indentify w/ Brooke Alvarez. She is me. She is my voice!