Mike Tyson - Funniest Moments and Punch Lines

[bubacarrsarge1]

I'll kick you children on the head

[devinyandreywilliams]

Hes a damn animal trapped in a humans body!



[s0bad]

The first part fukn killed it about stompin on kids testicles hahha hands down!

[pcoric3]

mike tyson is the most bad ass mother fucker

[jhwrip7]

i sacrafice so much in my life...can i atleast get laid? u kno wat i mean? i been robbed for most of my money can i atleast get a blow job....lmaooooo

[staywithaces1984]

he has to be the funiest person w/o trying or knowing

[bostonrocks7]

is this your shortest fight ever?

[RRRRapify]

where's "my back is broken?"

[dlk190239]

All praise be to Allah!!!

[m3oothy100]

He's Muslim .. I Respect .. I Love The Islam

Allah Akbr .. MUSLIM 4 EVER !

[wizkidify]

tyson is hilarious

[njdon89]

SIGN A CONTRACT BIG BOY :D lmfao

[jordanx213]

spit it out mike tyson

[Channel5Menace]

lmfao

[RPM11111]

Too bad McBride backed up his word and Tyson didn't.

[vampkitty891]

fuck him sexist pig

[Turso8]

@vampkitty891 If You Dont Like Tyson Why Watch The Video??

[zPhresh]

I normally don't do interviews unless a fornicate with them, with a straight dead serious look, LMAO

[NewAmsterdamThug12]

i dont understand a word what is being said with the girl at 4:16. can anyone write it please?

[shaneshaneist]

@NewAmsterdamThug12 He says 'I usually don't usually do interviews with women unless i fornicate with them, so you shouldn't talk anymore unless you want to...you know' Serious shit hahaha

[wildstylelg]

can i at least get laid?

[taco398]

tht guy wouldnt say tht to his face

[DarkerPhoenix1]

Sign the contract big boy sign the contract!

[asilvy58]

I think its even funnier that hr said he was gonna gut Kevin like a fish and he lost the fight... I still think mike tyson is the baddest dude ALIVE!!!

[ELDIOSUN0]

Funniest person on the face of the earth. And the funny part is he's just being himself and not even trying to be funny.

[abulkhair77]

I'll fuck you till you love me

[MultiBrados]

Damn I can't find high quality for this :/

[GETzUM55]

He is to good fuck what people say!!!!

[buntos88]

Sign the contract big boy,, Sign the contract !!!

[virtualsnake1994]

man.... WHAT?

[MrLukedanger]

where isthe i broke my back one lol

[fyte4luv808]

6 ppl got their kids eaten by mike

[HellsHighwayTrooper]

"Siignn the contract big boy, ssiggnnn the contract" lol

[tylerbshaw14]

it ill put ur fuse out

[Theboss4103]

u mess with me ile put ur shoes out, haha big nigger

[jerumd]

3:53 I'll fuck you till you love me faggot!! XD LMFAO!!!

[1gazzagary]

lol ima break ya hand

[ForME4mi]

pain in testicles.. oh boy mike!

[area51er6]

"Tomatoe Can"

[zaneegamara]

"....i've sacrificed so much in my life, can i atleast get laid? you know what i mean? i've been robbed with most of my money can i atleast get a blowjob? i wish one of you guys have children so i can kick them in the fucking head or stomp on their testicles for you to feel my pain cos that's the pain i have. you know what i mean?"

[DrazahMusik]

@ 1:56 rick ross??

[pacmanpirini]

LOL XD knock drugs out of your life by just saying no LMAO!! couldent have picked a better time to put that scene in

[krackjatt]

I'LL FUCK TILL YOU LOVE ME FAGGOT

[DaTrixta999]

l0l0l0l

[katxassa]

BOB SAPP IS LATE!I THINK MIKES FUSE MIGHT HAVE BEEN PUT OUT FOR A LONG TIME.

[helpdonate1]

Q Is this you shortest fight ever?

A "Salaam Alaykum, lenox im comin fo you"

lol

Brain damage is fun lol

[larylilshit1]

I don't get how thats funny at 4:05? Can someone explain to me please?

[chango316]

@larylilshit1 did u see what he was wearing? plus the pitch of his voice too its just funny lookin

[GholaTlx]

@larylilshit1

Let me see if I got this right. When americans say "You're a knockout!" or "She's a knockout"! to a girl they mean she is so beautiful and sexy that the instantaneous orgasm they have when they see her knocks them out like Mike Tyson. But to ask ugly ass Tyson "Aren't you that young knockout kid?" it's a bit far-fetched

[larylilshit1]

@GholaTlx Hahahaha Thankyou :)

[kltiswhoib]

Lol, how can you not like a guy like this? Yeah, he's sort of crazy but you can't hold that against him though. He is a raw guy.

[sh0werp0wer]

Is it just me or does that huge Irish guy sound like a retard on crack or something, wtf is he saying? punch him on the chin for the island of Ireland

[amhensler]

5 people had their ears bitten off in a fight...

[sh0werp0wer]

ill fuck u till u love me faggot

[TheEXpothead]

funniest is I think

"they called me a rapist & a recluse, I'm not a recluse."

[DaddiJosh]

you cant touch me your not man enough! i'll eat your off alive you bitch! call anyone in here cant fuck with this! this is the ultimate man. FUCK YOU YOU HOE! come say that in my face and i'll fuck you in front of everybody.you bitch! come on you BITCH! you scared coward. your not man enough to fuck with me. you cant last two minutes in my world bitch! look at you scared now hoe scared like a little white pussy! SCARED OF THE REAL MAN!!!! I'LL FUCK YOU TO YOU LOVE ME FAGGOT! FUNNIEST QUOTE EVER.

[TheEvilelvis89]

LOL the diet pepsi commercial was awesome !

[KelzMon]

"I'm the best ever. I'm the most brutal and vicious, the most ruthless champion there has ever been. No one can stop me. Lennox is a conqueror? No! I'm Alexander! He's no Alexander! I'm the best ever. There’s never been anyone as ruthless as me. I'm Sonny Liston. I'm Jack Dempsey. There's no one like me. I'm from their cloth.There is no one who can match me. My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want his heart! I want to eat his children!Praise b to allah!



[eastsiderida100]

@KelzMon lmao

[goemonyhannon]

@KelzMon correction... he's the most ruffless champion there has ever been

[fedorwand]

do you have problem turn? off your station!fuck off lol

[covington55]

hahaha. I wish one of you guys could have kids so i could kick them in the fuckin head or somethihn. ahhahaha what!?!??!

[drdruc4o5]

"I fffaacafise so much in my lyfe..." 

[simoneblackstock]

@drdruc4o5 LMFAOOOOO!!!

[o0ojFizzleo0o]

hahahahaha im going to fuck you till you love me

[whythisway]

Mike tyson was the best boxer in his prime. Can not fault any moves he done. apart from the ear biting. other then that he was the best.

the stuff he is saying here makes me laugh, his a smart guy but just says little silly things sometimes. like many of us in this world.

[asassin6]

@whythisway A big part of being smart is knowing what to say and when to say it. That means not acting like you're bat-shit crazy in public and committing random acts of violence and disrespecting women.

[erosensai]

@asassin6 being smart is the rate at which you learn things. you mean being intelligent or wise.

[asassin6]

@erosensai showing mental alertness and calculation and resourcefulness-Smart.  So no...I meant smart.

[bcalix11]

His favorite quote he has ever said."If god made anything better than pussy he is keeping it for himself."-Mike Tyson...Legend

[wezzybad101]

spot the patch

[WatsupBroh]

lol he's the best

[Jaguar9310]

"i hate gettin bitten"

[frimodig]

3:00 Im a big strong nigger!

[kyliaminaj1235]

look at u u scared now...ill fuck u till u love me faget lol

[NoFear457]

LOL

[ElSpewtardo]

four people need to have their childwen kicked in the fuckin head and their tethticles sthomped on so they can feel Mike'th pain

[alexbek100]

all da legends of da world are muslims, mohammed ali, mike tyson, michael jackson, ice cube, n otherssssss, Allahu Akbarr :D

[jabbking]

How can anyone say that he is intelligent after this video...one slip up is forgivable, maybe two, but this is like 20. Which one doesn't fit?....Albert Einstein, Alfred Nobel, Theodore Roosevelt, Mike Tyson, Ronald Reagan.

[shamwowftl]

PUNCH lines hehehe....

[mark1007]

Mike doesn't even know who he is....

[rocknroll4eva100]

@3SkullProductions Well i bet you do boxing. I can just tell by reading from your comment.

[theguest00]

This is really not funny! Mike is human like everyone one of us. Unlike many people, Mike is not afraid to speak his mind, even if it ruined his reputation. I'm pretty sure he's not the only person to want kick someone in the head and fornicate with women.

[VitaNegern77]

If you pay attention then you will notice that Mike can actually be quite well-spoken and intelligent. Too bad that he is such a "street" person and doesn't try being intelligent more.

[ymelaku10]

"im 36 years old goin on to 36" hahahaha

[3SkullProductions]

that wat boxin do to you u get fucken in da brain its not rlly worth it

[columbien19]

3:19 hells angels

[timmyz55]

Mike is quite eloquent, it shows that he's not as dumb as some people think he is. Going by what's been said on how he grew up, who can blame him for being eccentric?

[WuTangChillaBee]

just watch his autobigraphy film, then you'll see the real tyson.

[idangle6]

hes for sure not dumb jsut crazy and cocky but u gotta love it

[justinchigs]

1:10 ... he can rap haha

[SmexyPC]

"ill sign it in blood punk, where you at" that was pretty unprofessional lulz

[bkillinsoftly]

mike is so awesome

[swabss]

mike spoke his mind and he was hated for that by some

[idangle6]

@swabss thats what boxers do

[MrDivotion]

i is fighting with is hand i shoot him in the face i won yeeee

[NebunLaCap]

how long did he serve for rape?? isnt rape 25 to life?

[mj19580]

@NebunLaCap 3 years

[TheKPiech]

listen to im an island by kaz piech

[merrittairianna]

this isnt funny its sad... a street uneducated man gets taken advantage of

[packiechan88]

@merrittairianna you're right its not funny, its fucking hilarious

[w00texCY]

HAHAHAHAHA

[JonWayneEastLondon]

Tyson has never been the same since gus tomatoe died. gus tomatoe was his grandad and his trainer. some old white man. he was a great trainer . r.i.p guss

[brodysnowboards]

im a big strong nigger that knocks out people and rapes people

[xB3Gx4xM3RCYx]

@brodysnowboards You just dont admit that infront of everyone.

[Mannerheim85]

With that intelligence Mike has had a great will to become a professional world champion at the age of 19. Mike was a great character INSIDE the ring

[Vinniemac0909]

ill eat your asshole alive you bitch

[Radnsmash101]

4 people are going to get knocked out

[davidbehman]

search The BURNT TWINKIE EATER

[stronga1999]

i dont talk to women unless i fornicate with them..........so you shouldn't talk unless if you wanna you know lol

[Budsmokee]

he's a crazy sob, but damn he's funny ..

[Kronoz92]

"I'll fuck you until you love me faggot!"

This man is a God! Roflmao

[Mateo151]

what does mike say before fight tonight? marks and queensberg? hmm?

[newman447]

@Mateo151 marquess of queensbury, or were you takin the piss?

[robtakers]

Look at this scumbag now - He's a loser and a has been !!

[Eatmybologna]

@robtakers Who is idolized by millions around the world and could have a job at any boxing or MMA organization at a moments notice (not as a fighter). Hes rich, lives in a mansion and is living better then you ever will.

You sound a bit jealous if you ask me.

[Waxfiretape]

Wat tha!

Did Tyson just say " I'll fuk U toll u love me "

[Mr420woo]

mike is the man. least he can back up all his shit talking like a man

[Bramzpeakz]

"sign the contract big boy, sign the contract."

[Shadhin101]

I cant wait till the 28th ,im gonna make you my girlfirend....LMFAOOOO

[josefius14]

you scared like a little white pussy

[cbra66]

"so you shouldn't talk anymore unless you wanna.......you know"

[realcrp]

mike why do you have to talk like that

[GunShotEcho]

Lmao

[3littleducks123]

LMAOOOO GOTTO LOVE THIS GUY!!!

[kevinramirez13]

"Your going to break yo hand" lol

[MrRavishraven]

i never like tyson, i think he is a stupid moron

[Max95Cro]

@MrRavishraven

i think you're an asshole, when u do what he did then u have the right to comment.

untill then, stfu dumb cunt.

[Dennissays]

"...I wanna eat his children, praise be to Allah" HAHAHAHAHAH!

[parisa1988]

mike is a fuken idiot hes a disgrace to muslims

[DanLeeKellett5891]

@parisa1988 theres no such thing as a disgrace to muslims.. there all fuckin disgraces!

[RebelRouser1219]

@DanLeeKellett5891 Wow dude...You truly are a disgrace. I'm not Muslim by the way, but you really are fucked up in the head. How can you even say something like that? Plus, I bet you know like 2 or 3 of them personally, but probably never even talked to them. "Oh but Bin Laden and Sadam..."

[ClamCrunchy]

Tyson comes across as crude in this video, but he can be quite intelligent.

[TheInfamousIceman]

@ClamCrunchy you cant be that smart if you act like a fucking douchebag to everyone and a pervert

[tiopira5]

@TheInfamousIceman your wrong

[TheInfamousIceman]

@tiopira5 your wronger

[tiopira5]

@TheInfamousIceman your wrongEST! full stop. end of story

[TheInfamousIceman]

@tiopira5 your wrongest x2 wtv you say...now no matter what u say ull still be 2 times wronger....eat it

[tiopira5]

@TheInfamousIceman what you say doesnt matter because i already said end of story so that makes you wrong and me right

[TheInfamousIceman]

@tiopira5 that doesnt count bcuz...eh screw i dont care lol

[ILIKEWALLS]

@ClamCrunchy hes also a rapist to be fair. so fuck how how comes across

[chronozxiii]

this is the scariest dude ever

[1rralphh1]

ive FFaciffiiffed moffft of my life. can i at leafffftt get laid ? epic :P

[EziixPked]

I wish you had children... So I could stomp on their testicles, because that's the pain I feel. Lmao!

[harmonicgrunt]

Respect.☺

[Xecutionner2K]

TYSON U DA BEST EVA BRO

[XHeartofapoptartX]

lmfao 0:13-0:20

[airmedi27]

sign the contract big boy, sign the contract lol

[7TJB7]

Mike Tyson had anger issues. he is funny though

[mACheavelli]

"I'll fuck you 'til you love me faggot"

can i get a no homo...or something?

[allenreyjr917]

are you talking out of turn..... lmmfao

[StyrbjornStarke]

I wanna eat your children! praise be to allah!

[daha33]

4:11 fucking epic LMAO

[csection7]

ill fuck u to u love me faggot classic

[msarband]

i like how he raises his hand to say something in the interview!

[Fr3aKBG]

"Have a nice fight Mike"

"F*ck off"

[TheAmericanWeirdo]

Nappy Birthday Mike Tyson

[RileyGuitarDude]

Class Act :D

[scatcoitus]

i dont like my friends and my fans___mike tyson. mike tyson is very honest

[MrIGrowDank]

your going to kick my children in the head, then stamp on their testicles? wtf?!?! o.O

[TommyTonic10]

@MrIGrowDank so you can feel my pain? yes.

[xNightsAfterDreamsx]

fuck off lol

[jamesnicholasmartin]

I'm gonna make you my girlfriend.

[Moderm101]

ill fuck you till you love me faggot

[WhySoSerious31184]

the best and funniest freakin' lines eva:

"I'll eat yo asshole alive!"

"I'll fuck you 'til you love me, faggot!"

[Moosixman]

I don't talk to women unless I get to fuck them. - God.

[Chiefksam]

ive been robbed of most of my money can i at least get a blowjob. Hahahaha

[hitmancoolio]

He's nothing like this anymore, he's a better man. Check out my video of him talking at a black tie event. Sitting front row listening to him speak. Gets emotional about Muhammad Ali, too.