Added: 2 years ago
From: RobohX360
Views: 46,382
Sort by time | Sort by thread (beta)

Link to this comment:

Share to:

All Comments (285)

Sign In or Sign Up now to post a comment!
  • I'm not sure which bit of the film jarred more- the bit when the heroic Optimus tears off an opponent's face before he finishes him, or Megan Fox attempting to portray heartbreak.

  • This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen

  • @KicoWolf And I'm 13

  • Viz the Megan Fox thing- I think all you need to know about her as an actress is that the main review line on the "Jennifer's Body" ad was "Fox is incredibly hot".

  • Kermode is wrong. Transformers is a classic toy and the target audience are no longer boys. However, the movie is still a piece of crap with nothing redemptive about it.

  • 'Wooaahr! Look, Wooaahr! Car look, Wooaahr! Megan Fox, Wooaahr!'

  • My favourite review of Transformers 2 was the words "It's not so much a movie as the site of an industrial accident."

  • This movie was just UNBELIEVABLY long. It's my main problem with the series . I can appreciate that some people enjoy the films as mindless entertainment to watch the SFX. But I cannot abide by Shia's parents talking about his cock, him being molested in the toilet, dogs humping each other, robots humping Megan Fox's leg, the car squirting women with fluid, Shia screaming HEY at the top of his lungs, and on and on. Braindead entertainment is fine, but at the 1:45, you're pushing your luck.

  • @hanshotfirst1138 You are so right about that.

  • @Luvie1980 Look, I'm not a snob. I loved PREDATORS and THE EXPENDABLES. I'm a lifelong POWER RANGERS fan, for God's sake. But at least when I watch a Kung-Fu movie like IRON MONKEY, it has the damn sense to be 90 minutes long.

  • @hanshotfirst1138 im about to post this everywhere because u r soo right

  • i am falling out of my chair laughing on his "whoa!eh?" rant and this is probably shameful but im listening to this review for the 50th time now and laugh every time:D

  • I wasted 2 and a half hours of my life watching this film! Utter dross!

  • what's with the laugh track?

  • @Casarzino it's not a laugh track, it was a special version of the show performed in front of a live audience at the Edinburgh Film Festival.

  • @Casarzino It was a live audience.

  • Worst film I've ever seen

  • @DomCJS nah his sex and the city rants are better imo

  • Should be interesting to see what he says about Transformers : Dark of the moon.

  • "Megan Fucks"

  • Ummm.... where is the VIDEO part of this video?

  • When I walked out of the theater I just accepted it. I just focused on the great visuals and tried to ignore the utter refusal to tell a story. 

  • I made it through the first Transformers, maybe because it followed some kind of traditional narrative structure, but the second one is unbearable. It’s just incompetently told.

  • I do pray that film three at least has a plot. The first film was alright as it had a plot and some good jokes.

  • For me this is the worst film I have ever seen. It reminds me of the review Mark did with Colin Murray for Knowing, when Colin says its the worst film he's ever seen. Mark says thats not true, the problem being that he hadn't seen enough bad films. That may well be the case in my situation. But T2: ROTF is absolutely horrific beyond all proportions. Just felt like spreading the hate lol.

  • This film is Science Fiction guys. Come on, live with it. Discovery Networks is already having fun with it and doing all kinds of analysis. And yet you guys say stupid criticism about its Director. -.- Mindless bananas.

  • @mickypure,

    As there's no science in it, it's not science fiction.

  • @OxTheWriter oh okay.

  • I'm sure that seeing Transformers in 3D will change Mark's views on life itself

  • "Nothing happens very loudly about 100 times."

    That's a pretty good summary of Michael Bay's entire filmography.

  • i could not believe how bad this was. it was aimed at RETARDS. everyone in the cinema that did not walk out  looked so defeated and depressed when the film ended.

    michael bay is a creep.

  • "Transformers is the best film of all time!"

    Legendary listener XD

  • I liked Bill Hicks review of Basic Instinct; 'Its a piece of shit, just walk away!'

  • WORRR LOOKIT DAT CAR WORRR GIANT ROBOT WORRR YA LIKE THAT EH?

    Yup. That's about right.

  • Defensing is a typo I was trying to type defending.

  • quite possibly one of the worst films I have ever seen. Complete tripe!

  • i pretty much agree with everything kermode says (even though i thought the effects stunning) but the sad fact is that this fillm exceeded $1b at the box office.

  • I'm proud to say that I was in the same room as Kermode and Mayo when he made this review at the Cineworld in Edinburgh for the film festival in 2009.

  • This movie has a robot that looks like Gaogaigar that alone redeems it.

  • Laugh track?

  • @Williamsfan

    No, it was done in front of a live audience. 

  • woooorrr ....robots......woooorrr  lol

  • Annyone who's dumb enough to go to a Michael Bay for annything other than mindless action has no write to conplain about it.

  • Comment removed

  • @RumourdProd

    So spelling one word wrong makes me illiterate? Yeah lets see how well spell with an autism spectrum disorder. Secondly I wasnt defensing this film dumbass I was saying you should know what your in for with a this kind of film and it's your own fault if you go to see it.

    Regardless of this films quality it's sucsess could lead to things like Gundam and Evangelion getting live action adaptions that's good thing.

  • @TeamTowers1 I hate people who claim your argument is invalid because of a spelling mistake, ob

  • SHOUT OUT TO CROYDON YAY!

    

  • best review ever, no question. funnier than his pirates 3 review and that was a very entertaining review mark gave us.

  • Michael Bay: Whhhooaaa! Hey! Whhhoaaaa! Hey look here comes a large group of people! Whhhhooaaa! They have pitchforks, torches and guns! Whoooaaaa! They must be my fanclub!!!

  • ".... nothing happens very loudly about 100 times."

    Spot on.

  • It's actually a very interesting movie if you study the techniques of getting across the christian right wing message, with all the according references.

    examples:

    'the fallen'- the devil

    the righteous army

    tons of biblical allusions trust me watch it again I can't remember most of them right now

  • @natmanprime I noticed some religious references of sorts, heck, the writers compared the Fallen to Judas.

  • @EvilgidgitReturns hmmm...I saw you liked the movie further down the page..a post 1 year ago...

    I DISAPPROVE

    : (

    anyhow, there's loads of allusions there you've got to have another look

    : P

  • @natmanprime I did really enjoy it when I first watched it, but over time I see its become a bit of a mess.

  • @natmanprime and what those it do to the story?

    no wait! it those not have one.

    Sorry that I asked!

  • @danxtur ?

  • lmao the Michael Bay impression, on the same level as his Gwyneth Paltrow one

  • @bumblebee11111 Well, according to the film industry, he's the tenth best reviewer to ever exist.

  • Why are people commenting saying this is going over their heads? He's talking in clear english and makes a clear analysis without going into hardcore minute detail. It's simple and simply brilliant :/

  • Ravage's design was awesome.

  • Kermode is spot on

  • @davidhealey100 Norn Iron supporter?

  • @dowling1981 Nope, although I am aware of a player with the same name as me

  • @davidhealey100 I bet you get that a lot. Do you support him?

  • This was a stupid movie but I would be lying if I said I didnt enjoy it.

    Kermode on the other hand can fuck himself even though this film was pretty crappy he goes about stating his opion in such a smug way.

  • @Thattowersguy1

    well it is his opinion so he can be as smug as he wants lol

  • @Thattowersguy1 well if you can't even spell properly don't try to make a coherent argument against the good doctor. Though that's just my "opion" to use your words.

  • Good on him, I couldnt agree more.

  • The film was ....okkkk started good then lost me at the twins then got a bit blahhh

  • It's a dumb movie for dumb people.

  • @enisijzer Yes...yes it is.

  • Technically Michael Bays Transformers films are glorified Military adverts for stupid Americans with autisism, low IQs, Fast Food eating habits, extremely narrow world view (America-Fuck Yeah vs Terrorists), girlfriendless, friendless, basement dwelling, Megan Fox fapping idiots that wouldn't know a proper film from their arse-hole.

    After suffering the first film anyone form the UK who says Transformers is good- needs to get some "real" friends.

  • PS:

    Phwoar! It's a car!

    Phwoar! Look at Megan Fox bent over a motorcycle.

    Phwoar! Robots hitting each other for two hours.

  • I must admit, Transformers 2 is entertaining, but that is all, apart from that, it is an awful, awful film. Bad acting, bad one-liners, terrible plot. Plus I hate that thing that Michael Bay does, he adds in these little 'funny scenes' which aren't funny at all and take your attention away from the relevant plot or scene, not that there were any in there...

  • @DanthemanCTU24 Yea that's what really bugs me about his films. He keeps trying to put in comedy and he's NOT GOOD AT IT. Dare I say his sense of "humor" makes me die a little inside.

  • shes hot, yet

    YouTube's defo not great for hot nude models- defo check out Rudey tube . awesome short videos

  • I just saw Logan's Run for the first time yesterday, and I thought it was a Michael Bay film; in terms of the way it depicts female characters as just sex objects.

    For some reason, I see this in alot of science fiction and action movies from the 70's, like soylent green. Was this just because we were just being as sexist as we could possibly be?

  • thank god for critics like mark, the world needs more of them hes spot on in this review

  • 1:53 "you know what robots hit eachother"

  • A classic rant

  • Kermode is right, Transformers 2 was loud, stupid, boring and once again proves Bay has ZERO brains, even when he's trying to be serious.

  • In another review, Mark suggests that the best way to remember Transformers 2 is to imagine Megan Fox bending over a motorcycle sticking her arse in the air farting. That's how that film should be remembered.

  • Spot on, such a waste of money that film was

  • boo

  • @thepissflap What!?! Kermode is spot on with this review. I disagreed with him on his review of the first film, but I could not state how much I agree with him on this film. It was a money making film with a badly rushed script with bad acting and worst of all no heart. Kermode can rant about this film as much as he wants and I have never agreed with him more about a film. It is a horrible film.

  • @luvpump1 oh and you aren't? (sarcastic tone)

  • Haven't heard a Kermodian rant in ages. Anyone else noticed?

  • AMEN! michael bay ruined my childhood!

  • Teenagers watched Transformers long before Michael Bay came into the picture.

  • Mark Kermode to host Film Review on BBC1 please....

  • Michael Bay is Damian haha

    "Mind-bendingly terrible" He really is great

    Rob x

  • Kermode rocks! He is dead right about  Transformers 2 - a vile, boring, offensive piece of poo. Like him I have no problem with B movie action films, in fact I love them. But this was just grotesque.

  • I am the only person in my class who thinks this movie is awful.

  • @Filmhunter66 you are evidently the only person in the class with any taste...

  • I.... HATED IT!

    *applause*

    Epic.

  • This movie was absolutely awful.

  • absolutely SPOT ON!!!!

  • Way to go Mark.I agree 100% with everything you say about this film

  • Best review - EVER! I feel sorry for the person who buys Mr Kermode a copy of Transformers II for Christmas...

  • No Mark's getting Pirates 1-3 boxset

  • Wooooooaaaaa!!! Ay? Wooooaaaa!! Gotta love kermode's way of expressing his criticism. I didn't watch any transformers movie but I understand that the only thing behind the whole franchise is moneymaking. This is not entertainment; this is robbery.

  • I didn't like Transformers 2 at all but I'm not going to act like Michael Bay deliberately made the film like that to spite me. These things are subjective and if you don't enjoy them... tough. Move on to something else. Life's too short for getting upset about something that wasn't really made with you in mind. These things are always pretty hit an' miss.

  • This film grossed 800 million world wide...yea this madness needs to stop. BTW that's about as much as The Dark Knight in case you're wondering.

  • The Dark Knight has grossed over a billion !!

  • 800 Million is only 200 million (only ha!) away from 1 billion.

    I mean yea it's almost as much as The Dark Knight...well almost.

    But isn't that ABSURD? I think it was all for that crazy bitch Meagan Fox.

  • It is pretty crazy that something so awful could make that kind of money !

    It really is terrible, a waste in every way :(

  • I think it's awful that any film makes that amount of money, no matter how good or bad...

    I mean that could probably feed Africa for years and we wasted it in weeks? What priorities society has.

  • I found the film enjoyable overall but like the first film there are a lot of problems. Fox was not needed, Bay improved in camera quality but not in jokes, most of the new characters (Soundwave, Arcee, Sideswipe, Devastator) got little screentime and character development, Prime was not really much of a good guy but more of a serial killer, etc.

  • This is a good review, and I couldn't sit through the whole thing. I was given a free IMAX ticket to this by a friend and went to be polite, and it was the first film I've walked out on in years...the story was crap, the characters were crap, and the action was so dreadfully dull, and that's the worst crime.

    I didn't go to see this to think, I went to be entertained at the most base level, and it couldn't even do that.

  • He is so fucking right in so many ways. We deserve better. This is being served to our children, it's being served to us as culture? This is what the world has come to? There's nothing challenging, thought provoking or intelligent about it. And Michael Bay is a really horrible, despicable filmmaker.

  • Brilliant review as always. I'd never celebrate another person's death, unless they were really horrible people, but if Michael Bay was suddenly no longer with us, well I wouldn't cry anyway.

  • i havent even seen it but this film sux!!!!!

  • Hear Hear!

  • looks like that Jackass RobohX360 took off the thumbs up/thumbs down thing, looks like he didn't want anybody to thumbing down any moron agreeing with this idiot!

    Mark Kermode is a dick and so are you!

  • Keep crying. Transformers is absolutely awful in every way. Its made for morons and we could so much better.

  • Wow you're really uneducated and bitter. Go and jack off to Nascar. Leave the interesting stories and characters to us.

  • And you must be the hated person on youtube!

    BTW I am educated!

    Interesting characters and stories, like what?

    Kevin and Perry, yeah thats real genius isn't it!

    loser!

  • Thanks for your intellectual input.

  • Better yet - I'll watch an action movie that doesn't suck, like Die Hard.

  • Woah!

  • Michael Bay Defense Force, assemble!

    Seriously, though, the film made over $800 million-bajillion dollars. It's already a blockbuster. Kermode's review isn't the end of the world. Downvoting other people's comments en masse says a lot more about the fanbase for this film than anything Bay has done.

  • "Did this guy even see the movie?"

    Yes, he did, and he got paid for it.

    Good question, though...do you ask the umpire at a ballgame if he's blind, too?

    Original thinking...try it.

  • 7:08 to 7:40 is truly poetic.

  • Haha let's rebel by down rating me some more. Weak.

  • GI Joe was far from perfect, but it was a million times better than this racist, sexist piece of CRAP!

  • I liked really G.I Joe too. It wasn't too memorable, but it was a very fun movie and certainly a lot better than Transformers 2. Sommers actually seems to care more about plot and characters to go with the loud and brash action.

  • The humor in this film is the equivalent of fart jokes told by kids on a playground. Everything in the film is done in an "in your face" style. Granted, the film had some amazing action sequences, but it NOTHING to gel them all together.

  • It is all about looking cool. It is a poser film. It looks cool but it is not intelligent, not thought-provoking and most of all NOT FUN!

    I don't know anything about Transformers. But I know that a movie about a children's toy, about robots that morph into things should be FUN! And its not. Its just like a weird combination of The Birth of a Nation and Hustler magazine.

    It is a movie completely inappropriate for children, yet it is about what was originally a children's toy!

  • I don't know about you, but I thought the first Transformers was a decent movie. But here Bay seems to be on "overload" with the bad taste. I thought he amplified the flaws of the first movie tenfold.

  • I don't really remember watching the first one. I know my friends enjoyed it and I had no real complaints about it. I think it was perfectly passable film.

  • I heard Spielberg had more involvement with the first. The plot was decently paced, it had some good moments, and Bay's humor seems more restrained compared to ROTF.

  • If everyone who enjoyed and defended this film was shot then the world would be a better place.

  • I still find it amazing to believe that people HONESTLY thought this was a "good" movie. This was some of the worst garbage I've seen on the big screen this year.

  • They seem to be oblivious to its massive, gaping flaws and happy to accept all the action as representing a good time out at the cinemas.

    I don't think they are Transformer fans or anything to make them bias. They just like shit movies.

  • The Michael Bay Defense force is out in numbers it seems.

  • Who are all these jack-asses who are voting down all the negative comments towards the movie? Do you have no lives? Don't listen to a Mark Kermode pan of a Michael Bay film if you don't agree with it. It's that simple. Idiots.

  • the last minute where he's tying it all up is awesome- "i HATED it" nice

  • See the thing is, people these days think mind-blowing action makes incredible movies. And I'll admit we are pretty dumb for it. These are the kind of movies that come out. Many movies have bad plots and are long, but many people only care about how awesome everything looks.

  • I enjoyed ROTF, my only gripes are the use of Fox and Isabel Lucas, little screentime for new characters and the marijuana joke.

  • Transformers 2 is tosh, but Kermode's major objection is that it objectifies women. Do you know why Kermode always goes on about that stuff? Because his wife is a feminist professor and cracks the whip-hand. Therefore,he is an extremely dishonest reviewer, a sop to PC attitudes, hardly the paragon of bullshit-free reviews that his fans think. Having a wank over Megan Fox's exposed arse is nothing to be ashamed of. Bay appeals to the caveman in us all-a trashy hack, but more honest than Kermode.

  • Yeah how dare he have views on things "grrr". . . it *must* be his wife he couldn't possibly have the same views as her because they are compatible human beings.

  • Uh...no. Kermode's wife IS an influence on many of his views. That is well know, if you'd bothered to read up on Kermode. It's not just my conjecture. It's no great crime, but it proves you can take many of the things he says with a pinch of salt - which is notable because all his fans like to hold him up as some sort of fearless, outspoken critic. I find the sad reality extremely amusing.

  • How does that bare any relation to your Feminism argument?

  • Um you can be a man and suport feminism you know.

  • Worst movie EVER.

  • The movie would be decent if you cut out all the "humor".

    Ditch all the humping, any scene with the twins, any fart / butt / testies jokes, and you're left with an acceptable 90 minute movie. One that still retains the same amount of "sense" it originally had, but with none of the crap meant to stimulate retarded gits.

  • Yes, it is boring.

  • i wish the person who spammed all the comments which were negative towards transfomers 2 would kill themselves. the film is so shockingly bad  its existence almost makes the case for abolishing cinema

  • It's funny, Michael Bay is pretty much a tool for Paramount to make money with, the sad thing is he thinks he's good.

  • "You deserve better than this." So true. It's not about hating mindless entertainment; Star Trek was mindless entertainment and it was great. James Bond films aren't exactly arthouse wonders but they are often terrific fun. Transformers 2 is simply unacceptable as a popcorn film. Michael Bay is indeed Damien.

  • a sound point- nothing wrong with movies that are designed to excite and be fun... but theres got to be SOMETHING to them. i enjoyed Star Trek, which i wasnt expecting to, not being a fan, but i had a free ticket- the difference between that and transformers 2 is vast

  • Megan Fox

  • i went to watch fantastic special effects and shit hot fights with robots, n thats wot i got! loved it!

  • The film, like it or loathe it, stays very true to the cartoon in which many of us grew up watching, action, action, guns, fire, guns, metal, fire, guns and for that sentimental value i actually enjoyed the film (that combined with seeing old TF characters reinvented).

    Don't get me wrong though, my brain tells me it is a piss poor film which deviates from TF lore and creates an unrealistic portrayal of scenes that should have been realistic.

  • it was a awsome MOVIE

  • no it was not it was boring dull and not funny

  • Even for free I think I will give it a miss.

  • If anything, I think Bay proved once and for all that being well-made and being highly entertaining are not cojoined concepts for a movie. One can be one without being the other.

    The movie has plenty of technical, and story flaws, and IMO a number of execution problems as well (some justified, some not). Nonetheless, I enjoyed watching it very much, and would happily see it again, and buy it on DVD.

  • fags. fuck the movies u like then. this was a good movie.

  • Not it wasn't. It was a big bag of wank.

  • You mean "No" retard learn how to fucking spell. wank? Who the fuck says that? Faggot.

  • Me cockmunch. I say that. And shitloads of other people to. They maybe don't say it at the homophobic circle jerks you go to but it said quite a lot.

  • wtf? im not a homo like u ok. i dont rape little boys like u do cocksucker. ive never heard one person say that except for u, an online predator.

  • WTF. So because I disaggree with you I am now a peado, are you fucking serious?. I really think you need to go se a pshrink.