Russian Navy on the Move! Gnooze 12-5-07

[Misha9380]

Народ, эта деваха ни капли НЕ наезжает на Россию , так что хорош на неё наезжать:)

[nevsky1961]

This is the 1st time I have seen these gnoose videos, and they are quite funny. Are you going to do any videos on current events, or are you done. Thx!

[LilChuckyWoodenHead]

Isn't that little news chick the cutest thing ? Good thing too cause she's not too smart !

[russdrift]

I mean No more U.S.A sorry... spells it as "Use" since that word wasnt important and didnt mean anything to me..

[russdrift]

Ah... omg we dont even need our ships to even be there.... send1 tupolev and BOOM.... no more use... :)

[russiadefence]

Cute girl...

If you enjoy discussing Russian military, join us at the Russia Defence Forum. Check my profile for the link.

[TheSapron]

ты сука тупая!!!

[BorshCaen]

Да ладно, девка жгет.

[themoe18]

i love this shit i really like this

[mattmatt115]

"Hello, we are only moving our ships and aircraft to prove, that we could do it if we wanted to. We dont mean any harm, we are just telling you that, perhaps, we could kick your ass here if we needed to."

HAHA omg that was so awesome i love this chick

Its so true tho omg. If news was like this, i would believe it and i would even watch it!

5 stars for sure

[SpetsnazSS]

HAHAHAH

Go Girl !

[SharRehTV]

your show is great, marta. I love watching yours!

[zombieseezombiedo]

what kind of pills are you popping?

[aqibarain]

russia did right thing.... Georgia deserves this...........

[tgamirov]

ФАК Ю!!!!!!!

АЙМ ФРОМ РАША!!!

[ukrainesuperpower87]

fuck russia

i am from Ukraine

[athoq32]

Ok, you are one of the smartest girl that I have ever seem in my whole life , and of course also pretty(this has double value because you are inteligent)

[lifeh0use]

dude she is just joking...she isnt saying anything bad about russia in fact most things she says are in favour of russia

[FzSBLACKMAGICK]

She does a great Russian accent, she sounds just like a Russian speaking English...

We like Russia, no really...we do, you guys have snow, lots of snow and a lot less nukes than we do and Putin, yea you have Putin, well you had Putin, who is your Presidente now? I forget and digress.

My point is there is alot to like about Russia, like...did I mention snow?

And you have Kosovo...ooops, I mean had, oh well, what's a few less acres among comrades?

[jayers2]

Oh shut up. You just cant take a joke.

[GeorgeHarrysSon]

Howzabout:

A nod is as good as a wink to a news media with its head buried up it's whatchamacallit!

Oh. Maybe not. Pity.

[dorchester02122]

Nice Marta! I really enjoy your Gnooze! Thanks.

[lorianngreen]

Marta! U R such brilliant satirist on so many

levels. Keep up the great work and don't burn

out whatever u do!

[acberquist]

Yay Sweden!

[hthglllkhgjg]

sweden sux

[gr8dalmuti]

"You know, sometimes there aren't enough rocks." - Forrest Gump

[nocafeine]

you rock marta c.

[missjo5ie]

In my opinion. You should switch from idioms to puns... Like:

If news was still written on clay tablets. There'd be a lot of breaking news

[MattVnation]

The Gnooze is awesome!

Keep Rocking!

-MVN

[sarrygrey]

You do that "hurting my brain" thing so well!

[evilwhitey98]

Wow!

[parsaim]

Wanted a Comment?

Ahmadinejad is GAY (say Kooni in persian).

[halizzle]

"Take that put that in your abstinence pipe and SMOKE IT!"

THANK YOU!

[johnnymoondog]

Never eat !

[johnnymoondog]

Ever !!

[FrederikSOlesen]

Haha! That might be true. I've been told so on previous occasions at least. :p (Also, whenever I memorise something, it's more or less based on the patterns of it... kind of like thinking in vector graphics instead of bitmap graphics. And I seem to always abstract things. Hohum. And rambling I do quite a bit of as well...)

Never eat!

(That's a bit harsh though, and apparently quite unhealthy.)

[GeorgeHarrysSon]

Something in the website is messing up here and putting our replies up as if they were new text comments.....webmasters/mistre­sses aware of this?

[gnooze]

If you click "view all comments" down at the bottom, it gets it right.... :)

[GeorgeHarrysSon]

Geez, thanx

[MBRHIndustries]

Holy crap, I cheered for nuclear wessels. When you said it, not the strategically placed submarines.

[johnnymoondog]

Never eat with your mouth !

[FrederikSOlesen]

Never eat with your?

[lameshot]

You do it so nice I like

[UnderseaCaveman]

Pregnancies are up to overcome the grief of War, that's a common reaction... note the Baby Boomers post World War!

[MangoBingSa]

Thanks for the clue

-Mango

[misslisaof3]

OMG this reminded me of the time my mother came to visit me ( when I lived in LET ME OUT Taylor Tx) she was amazed that the schoo had a daycare.. she actually thought it was for the teachers ! hahahahaaa.... I was like "ummmmm, mom, I love you, please come out of rich I know nothing world, this is for the students! "

luv yas !

[misslisaof3]

ROFL stick that in your abstinence (sp?- its fkn late, no time to google my spelling) pipe and smoke it !

[MyHappySock]

Ok, Marta, I have one for you.

That Putin is homelier than a barrel of pickled butts.

[BilliLovesMargot]

ok so i get all of my entertainment news from brigitte and now i'm officially turning of my local news cast for you.

hi, i'm billi, your new subscriber.

[D4Shawn]

Your Russian accent is too good! Are you sure you're not a spy?

[D4Shawn]

I'm sure the Iraqi people aren't all that concerned about Blackwater; they have much bigger fish to fry. I mean... how many people did Blackwater kill compared to The U.S. Military, the various Iraqi militant/insurgent groups, and everybody else who's killing people over there. I'd say Blackwater was fairly insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

[wikimon]

I propose "Gagging on the cross" as an idiom for anything someone does with a religious motive that backfires on them

[justplayman]

Damn,...got me ta look the word up...

I'm so dumb I saw it com'in...

I asked Marina,...our trusty "hotforwords"... the origin of the word idiom...

Maybe she'll post a vid...

[Zarbod]

Yeah, Marta. About the rise in teen pregnacy. Umm. Look, I'm sorry about that.

[gnooze]

How indeed!

[gnooze]

Thanks for subscribing! And I'm totally going to use "argy-bargy!"

[PiFan7]

It kills me that this comment is marked as spam. It's especially nonsensical since it's Marta's very own comment.

What are people thinking!?

[Electrophill]

I'm behind you all the way.

That way, when we turn around and run, I'll be in front.

[photofu]

haha smurfs and gargamelle(mispelled?)..nice as always...thank you maddam...

[gedlongbow]

Idiom: Don't shoot yourself in the foot. That's what my teacher always says because half my math class are idiots lol. It's grown to be my favorite idiom xD

In other gnooze, the gnooze was great as awlays

[ostinsfriend]

HA - Love the Russian Accent! Gave You a ShoutOut in Today's Video - posted it as a Vid Response! Keep It Up Marta!

[airborne373]

I am a new fan, subscribed.

[ostinsfriend]

5* babe!

[CommentorX]

Teenage girls having sex. Film at 11.

[scottfreitas]

LOL!

CNN all the way.

[momerath42]

I'll just crank up my IdioMatic for ya.

[GeorgeHarrysSon]

By Popeil!! I've got one of those, too, to make my own homes-pun idomatic logic!! We ought to get together and kill lunch.

(No money for real lunch. But if you run over squirrel, save for me, poochkin?)

[familyfunny]

Here's a question Marta: What's an "idiom"?

[mopuffy01]

I'm not martha, but an idiom is basically an idiot reply.

A: "Hey you dont look good. Are you okay?"

B: "Oh i'm fine. I just have a headache.

[franknyt]

You, only spelled slighTly differenT. :)

Couldn'T resisT.

[minutemon2]

You are adorable! After seeing your video I realize that I need to get a beautiful young girl to host my video.

[zodezambo]

i wanna screw blonde girls like that one. perfect tight mouth for my big 0.0 ^^

[TheSuperstarWannabe]

Rated 5 star as always :-D x

[satiev1]

I can smell the russophobia in this room.

[ShatterYourIndra]

Another excellent episode. Well, they're all excellent really. =]

[onboardvideo]

You do a good Russian accent!

"Who needs the ooze, when you've got the gnooze."

Okay, nevermind.

[johnnymoondog]

Never eat on an empty stomach !

[inertia186]

An idiom: Who coined the phrase, "To coin a phrase?"

[geekyvince]

nice video I guess john stewart was right russia is back lol

[Northern5tar]

I cant think of an idiom but I would like to request the monkey again.

Ohhhh that could be one!

"Sometimes you just have to ask for the monkey"

I dont know what it means but I am very proud of it.

[lisasimpson]

Thanks, Marta!!

I'm finding your channel to be the most entertaining news channel ever!

[TheBabyEaters]

Idiom of the day: A captapillars eye only sees the wings of others.

[sandyib3ll]

Damn, I really like your Russian accent, but it's only because you're good at it and it turns out hilarious, but let me give you a little tip: you might wanna tone down the sexyness in your accent or else there will, and you just have to read all the comments, be guys stocking you!! And maybe girl also hahaha, joking, it's only normal they loved ya, you funny and good looking, and blond (hint hint :D )

Good job Marta!

[anmoose]

LOL!! I do think sometimes that you do Russian articles just so you can use the accent. It's hilarious!

Great Gnooze, as always!

Moosie

[anmoose]

Yes, Natasha, it's the squirrel... It's ALWAYS the squirrel.

[mopuffy01]

Damn it! She has a ring on!!!! I wanted to marry her :-(

[Oxygum]

yea, teenage pragnances. More Americans! Yea!

[GeorgeHarrysSon]

If you look at the more obscure meaning of the word 'idiom,' we could suggest something like a turban-headed gypsy reading future news items from a crystal ball....yes, yes, mistress? I have completed zee unmble task? Oh gratitude and bliss...may I keez zee foot? :) yuk-yuk

[GeorgeHarrysSon]

(cont'd. from below) Or maybe mocking the two-headed establishment really IS doing something about it; some people can't appreciate Michael Moore's contribution.

But once they pay for the biscuit, how can they miss the .50 cent piece? (My attempt at a paraphrase/saying same thing two ways.)

[GeorgeHarrysSon]

Thanks for explaining your terms, I'm a stupid

single-cultured US citizen. Maybe it is a valid criticism; we too often take people (and nations!) to task, but we are too afraid to step in and take charge; instead we stand on the sidelines and yell for our side. I think if you look at Marta enough you will see that she is (also) standing apart from either of the two popular sides. Still it is

'idle' criticism; and merely being funny is not doing something constructive to solve the situation.

[SonomaDave1]

Its funny how your eyes light up when you do the Russian accent. I love it.

Secondly, you should get yourself a "magic eightball" for the times when you don't know what the future holds. It works for me. Just shake it good first.

[Zenobios]

Life is like a Russian crystal ball, it makes you pancakes for breakfast and tells the future, until you piss it off and it eats your children.

[GeorgeHarrysSon]

Are you sure you're not Adrian Kodresku in disguise?

Sounds like one of his idioms, or syllogisms.

[Listman11]

How about: "mind the gap" all of them.

[iniksbane]

Hah... We have moose. We have squirrell., that was really funny. Go Boris and Natasha. :) Anyways great show today.

[jokertim777]

I don't appreciate being called an Idiom. You should be nicer to your viewers :P

[GeorgeHarrysSon]

So you "stay the course" people are now willing to compromise? I didn't think that word was in the conservative vocabulary.

[qiranger]

I'm digging the Russian accent! Great job!

[FiremanMajor]

Major was here!

[countrygent32084]

When do we get to see you in a mini skirt?

[pigdemons]

Awesome Marta,

I almost spit my coffee out my nose when you said the Smurf thing.

How 'bout the "G" is silent, but the "O's" can get as Loud as they feel!

Peace,

Er,Lauren

[Blargaldalien]

True,

In every gnooze cast,we get to see her "O" face...

[HarleyDrider]

Idiom: Politicians are like "Crystal Balls" you can't predict their future, but you can see right through them.

How about that one Marta?

Trauma

[trillian57]

The Gnooze is the BEST! ☺

[ladypn]

"ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO SPIT". My suggestion for your closing idiom.

[Blargaldalien]

Oh?

Have you seen their files?

[ladypn]

You DO do a very good Russian accent. The Pentagon accent, the Iraqi accent - not so much. LOL :)

[goobersayshey]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY! Super Job on the Russian Accent stuff. You made my week! Now I can die a happy man! Natasha Fatale (of Rocky and Bullwinkle fame) has nothing on you sister!

Can't wait for tomorrrow's Show - you tireless public servant. YOu deserve a medal, or a statue of honor!

Marta uber Alles!

[goobersayshey]

Idiom: "Crystal balls beat Disco balls, but it's harder to find the right pants."

[goobersayshey]

How about a lymeric?

While shopping the big city malls --

He met Krystal, so striking and tall- Till death do them part -- He meant from his heart -

But was shocked when he saw Krystal's balls

[goobersayshey]

That's all I got for now...

Thanks Martastic!

[mike8494]

Love the smurfs and you rock 5 Stars for you  Marta :-D Thanks you for making my day Mike...

[walternyc]

Russian part was very good. Keep it up marta

[daddioux]

Valentine card: "Life is a bucket of Hot Sauce", won't you be my Nacho?

[Blargaldalien]

FTW comment,5 stars

[daddioux]

Thanks Blarg, I respect yours and zarbs comments as well.

[Blargaldalien]

You will learn to regret it,however.

[daddioux]

Learn? Unlikely :-)

[Blargaldalien]

Hello,Marta.

Thank you for the Rocky and Bullwinkle moment. I am not worried about only 11 ships and 47 aircraft being deployed. The United States sink the same amount of ships for artificial rees,annually. And they put twice as many aircraft in museums. But when it comes to sexy secret agents,well.....

[Blargaldalien]

"The gnooze",spread all over your day like peanut butter on crackers!.

[gnooze]

So many idioms about food, so much hungry Marta!

[phosgene2]

maybe you should do a collaboration video with hotforwords with the best idiom. i don't know if it fits the precise definition of idiom, but i'm thinking that "finger lickin' good" might generate some interest... the possibilities are endless.

[Nic33rd]

Where would I get all my Russian news, if not for you, Marta.

Who knew they had so much going on?

[gnooze]

The world is paying attention to them... some less USA-centric news outlets play Russia stories pretty prominently.

[Nic33rd]

Excellent! I should be more aware of where I get my news from the news . . . also, I should read the newspaper more . . .

[AlterEgoTrip]

"like a fortune teller without a crystal ball"... actually I've been looking for one.. found it but can't buy it.. too much.. but one day!!!! yeah if I sell a kidney (not legal here) or my guitar :( ah yeah great Gnooze!!!! :D

[gnooze]

I would totally hang on to your kidney, if I were you. Like I always say now, sometimes life is just a bucket of hot sauce and you might need it someday.

[caverly]

"NO crystal ball" - man ,i am sooo out-of-here.

What is THIS ??

Somekind of cut-rate turkey-shoot :-}}}}}

[caverly]

'i get my marbles straightened daily'

i watch the gnooze :-}

'She don't need no stinkin' buttons or zippers'

Marta's bustin' out always.

'she's a confection of popcorn, M&M's and champagne .'

[gnooze]

:) Do you really think popcorn, M&Ms and champagne go together? Come to think of it, it doesn't sound half bad, especially if it's caramel corn.

[mohawow]

Well done

Very NICE work.

thanks

"Gnooza is Samosa" So delicious.

Keep up the good work.............;]

[gnooze]

MMMMMMM. Samosas! I'm starving! I didn't get lunch today. Whoops!

Thanks for your kind words about the show!

[CallMeNiel]

"Your metaphors are like a shark, they leave much to be desired."

[gnooze]

LOL! I don't quite get it, but I think I get the gist. :)

[PiFan7]

Good job using the Peter's projection map!

Idiom I just made up:

Idiom: Find the squirrel's nuts

Meaning: Look intently and inappropriately closely at something

Idiom I've used for many years:

Idiom: Sitting in butter

Meaning: Having a great time

My favorite British idiom:

Idiom: Gone pear-shaped.

Meaning: Took an unexpected turn for the worse.

[gnooze]

Oooh, sometimes I feel like things have gone pear-shaped. I will have to remember that one.

[Machination1]

I think you're choosing Russian stories just for an excuse to use that killer accent. :P

[gnooze]

Well... I do like doing that voice, but also, I try to keep a global perspective on things. This was a pretty big story outside of the US.

[ujdo]

Here's one: Complaints rise through management faster than complements.

or

Life is like pepper spray. It hurts like hell and you rarely see it coming.

Since Putin is aligned with Iran, Isreal is probably real nervous right now.

[gnooze]

Hahahahahaha!  Love the pepper spray one. But thank goodness I don't really know what that feels like!

[micahsamaniac]

well you knoww. I donno what no idiom is. hahahaha Im kidding

[gnooze]

An idiom is expression that doesn't readily make sense by the context of the words... it's sort of like a saying that takes a minute to understand.

Oh wait, you said you were kidding! Well nevermind, Smartypants! :)

[megamandapop]

You're a pro at not messing up. Do you ever really studder? Ever??

[gnooze]

Yes. But back in the day, I was known as "One Take Costello." Mostly by me and people I told to call me that.

But seriously, I do mess up. We just edit that out. Generally I don't mess up THAT much though.

[merickinhawaii]

Yes the accents are what keeps me here! lol. Well, plus your news is a lot easier to handle than some drab reporter, telling me who killed, how many, and where. Keep them comming Marta ! Alohas,  Rick.

[gnooze]

Been there, done that. Regular TV news is depressing! :) Thanks for sticking around!

[PVicario]

Great as always.

[gnooze]

Thank you!!!

[SensualSorrow]

A NEW ONE! Whoo! I love the Gnooze. ^^

[PiratePuppetMelba]

Me too.  Always a lot a fun!

[gnooze]

:D Hooray! Glad you like it!