THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IN HOSPITAL - Mock the Week Series 9 Episode 1 Preview - BBC Two

[bidefordrfc]

Hugh dennis cracks me up!

[panzerivtank]

Russell is a legend

[theodorecowell]

I like how after the first joke that Russell Makes, you can see Milton Jones nearly collapsing in laughter because it's the type of joke he'd make.

I love Milton!<3

[FoxySpiritOfJazz]

Milton Jones is the best!

[RS14988]

"this is the doctor who will be performing the sugery, doctor stevens and i'm the anesthetist...doctor doom!"

[natoandchado98]

umm.... who's penis is this?

[JezBernezHarez]

This show hasn't been the same since Frankie left.

[MrXbox16]

i am being sexest but sorry female comedians fail at being funny its just a fact

[mystudio611]

Mock the week should stop bringing females, seriously there not funny.

[WoodymanTHEJ]

"Welcome to hospital radio. My name's Justin Bieber."

[300warrior300]

I love the way milton is sticking his hair up at 0.52

[LokkerG]

@CenterdMag If the tool didn't understand the grammatical difference, do you really think pointing out spelling will make any difference?

[FreakinAyobaMan]

ROFLMAO

[MuzikFreak161]

OMG! One of the guys form Skins! >;D

[Gingerfreakable]

Shut up yanky doodle

[FreakinAyobaMan]

@annebolynzarsilve and that's what makes them super awesome ^_^

[musicneedsmeaning]

@annebolynzarsilve why even bother correcting grammar that isn't wrong? In hospital makes perfect sense.

[DarkCloudX9]

she is cute :)

[MyNameIsNeutron]

Get the popcorn; the colonoscopy's starting!

[Canaderek]

Generic four word comment.

[Draenix572]

Andy Parsons is fucking HILARIOUS :D

[Crandasher]

As much as I do not like Andy Parsons I think that as the show has progressed he has a little bit better. Giving up the whole..... talking..... with.... huge..... gaps and so forth.

[FourSabres]

"Hello, I'm Andrew Lansley..."



[cardcaptorzoe]

Things you don't want to hear in a hospital: Whoops!

[MrRandomDude360]

Things you don't want to hear in hospital: You're death.

[tarrizzzzzzzzz]

@MrRandomDude360 I'd very much like to be death, in fact! :) I wouldn't want to hear, 'you're dead' or 'your death', but your suggestion is fine ;)

[MrRobinjam]

@tarrizzzzzzzzz I'm afraid it's Grim news, Mr. Reaper.

[MixedBag27]

Dr Mengele will see you now.

[Gingrnut]

I love how milton jones stands. Like a baws.

[thedawg199370]

that girl was kinda hot, whats her name???

[rudejoni]

why aren't women funny ffs

[Fluffball99]

Who was the guy at

0:15

and the girl at

0:48

(I'm putting a time down anyway even though she's the only girl there)

[IronMaster777]

@Fluffball99 chris addison and diane morgan

[michaelklog]

most likely things to see in the comments - Mock the Week

joke 1 : this super bad joke

joke 2 : the last joke because it was in this video

[LoveSeungYeon]

The woman is so not funny

[Theultimateperso1000]

why does everyone hate seeing the jokes in the comments?

[sqi8000]

@Theultimateperso1000 because we have ears...? And because then the best ones are always top.. and ruin it.

[Theultimateperso1000]

@sqi8000 so its just people appreciating the jokes and if the top comments ruin it for you just don't read them till the videos over, pretty simple you must be an idiot to be honest.

[sqi8000]

@Theultimateperso1000 Appreciate them in silence then. Some of us have larger screens and is impossible to not view the first few comments so.. NB: Yes I know there is a full screen mode. But that rather restricts what else you can do in that mode.

[8gerrard8]

Hugh Dennis is God and MIlton Jones is Jesus.

[ListOfRandomNumbers]

*insert comment about people commenting jokes.*

[GarretsShadow]

Things you don't want to see in the comments:

The best jokes from the video

[MrPeteyMax]

@GarretsShadow *laughter and applause*

[MrAbeLink]

Do you know what I find most wonderful about this clip? The fact that the guests can say "fuck" without being censored. Hey America, you hear this? The world didn't end because somebody said a curse! Thanks, BBC! <3

[yurismir1]

@MrAbeLink I think it's funnier when it's censored

[NuclearWARed]

and if you dont want to see the shit jokes below look away now

[kimmorin141]

"I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you only have 3 weeks to live. The good news is that you're pregnant!! Wait..."

[15leighton]

*Why take my comment so seriously?*

[TheRammsteizer]

*insert comment about a certain passage of the video that I enjoyed, because I wanna share what I enjoyed in the video*

[snazzymason303]

ahahahahaha!!!!!

[The666thBowelOfHell]

I couldn't stop staring at Diane's breast

[SirKingOfTheSwing]

THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IN HOSPITAL 'Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep' as in the heart monitor no longer detecting a pulse. I thought that was preety good off the top of my head :)

[1998krish]

what weres jamie red knap 

[Phoenixxfyre]

LOL. The MRSA one was good. XD;

[forgivensign]

The satan joke was hilarious

[GetSumNutz]

And his last one is just a variation on the Doctor in Family Guy!

[GetSumNutz]

Love russel but that first joke is from American Dad. ROBBERY!

[tennisp1ayer]

The girls are never funny...

[itgull99]

Things you don't want to hear in a hospital: OH SHIT, what's this?, wait what just happened?, whoops!, is that supposed to happen?.

[anthonybc1811]

*insert repetitive and unoriginal joke about inserting jokes.*

[13Bee1]

the female comedian is so pretty! ^_^

[priamyvate]

whats funnier than a female comedian (esp. this one)

everything

[Manningfamily12]

hi

[dancinpelican]

whats with the beep?

[MassiveZero]

I hate that laughter and very loud BEEP. My English sucks so this makes it even harder to listen to

[StaraziaSelin66]

@MassiveZero ...and yet you clicked it.

[MassiveZero]

@StaraziaSelin66 Thats what I call "learning".

[poolmaster18]

RUSSEL HOWARD'S A LEGEND

[nikoincroatia]

Oh shit, who is she?

[TheISaunders]

@xxhyperhypekidxx Thank you for repeating the joke for me in the comment section, I'm deaf...

[VIRTUALPOPAUDOM]

@15leighton will i still get a thumbs up????

[theamvgirlx]

@15leighton How ironic.

[Tellmeimaninja]

@15leighton Good god, at least their thumb-whoring had something to do with the video, then.

[Mx41204]

@15leighton Or maybe it's because they're bored and maybe, just maybe, have something funny to say (not a large percentage of them of course)? Not everyone on the internet is a failure in life.

[15leighton]

@Mx41204 I agree with you, it was never my intention to receive the large ammount of thumbs up. Think I was just having a bad day when I posted that & kinda ironically its come back to bite me in the ass!

[Mx41204]

@15leighton Don't worry, we all have our days.

[KickSumAssProduction]

Christ I keep getting the same comments, Im a girl I agree but so n so is better. Cool story. I like some women comedians. Like Dawn French LOL

[stonedcold12]

milton is a nut

[eddieoxford]

milton :D you gave birth to a baby cow :D ROFL

[TheSacredSiren]

"I'm his brain surgeon. He's always got the top of my head off when I try to watch fucking Countdown."

[RyanOsangOfficial]

"How many fingers? ... Right, fuck off!"

[jwheat65]

Wonderful stuff!

"We're going to put you to sleep now, because you're old and it's the kindest thing to do..." !!

[ThomasBrendanDawes]

How many fingers? That's right, two, fuck off. HAHAHA

[LaoGahn]

"ACCEPT THIS SACRIFICE OH MIGHTY SATAAAN!"

Loved it. I about pissed myself there.

[teazombie14]

I would have loved one of them to just say: 'Oops.'

[legend23452]

how awkward is it when women tell jokes on this show

[FOOTYMTW]

Who's the woman?

[iTzJonesyX]

some one should've said "hope to see you again soon!"

[Sheepy127]

11 people heard this in a hospital

[KitsuneProject]

"Oh yes, the nutter who stapled his bollocks to a stack of paper in art class"

[KitsuneProject]

"There's A Tallywacker on the floor, watch where you stand, it belongs to my dad"

[KitsuneProject]

"i'm sorry, your baby has 3 extra heads and a lizard's tail"

[KitsuneProject]

'what's that missing arm doing in reception!? oh, it's off this gentlemen who caught it in a combine harvister

[KitsuneProject]

Michael Jackson For A Nother Fucking Nose Job?

[JoeBURNSyeah]

females just arnt funny

[hezza3000]

the best 6 frankie boyle

huhg dennis

russel howard

sterwart francis

andy parsons

chris addison

[lmiddleman]

Honestly that is the first time I've seen Andy Parsons say something funny.

[kooljohnmason]

Whaatt Chris Moyles is epic!

[KitsuneProject]

@SultanMalefor 'bend over please... my partner would like to put something up your arse'

[MrBaysies]

a baby cow ?????????

[Academician100]

@MrBaysies "Will you carve?" sounds like "Will you calve?"

calve meaning: to give birth to a calf (baby cow)

[Mejuz]

@KickSumAssProduction: Being funny and taking the stage with a joke is not part of the female role in most societies. So we expect women to be less funny (fact: there are less female comedians, so no surprise..). Question: are women really so much less fun judged individually or are we just easier to convince that they are? I discovered this show today, did watch some 20 vids and saw 3 women.. My best laughs were on male jokes, yes, but also the least funny ones. Women scored average..;-)

[nickjujitsu]

@KickSumAssProduction Say what you want about her not being funny, but honestly, i'd fuck her.

[JoshMufc101]

@KickSumAssProduction

some of them are really bad? all of them more like

[caroegc]

@KickSumAssProduction As a girl myself, I agree. However Holly Walsh was funny in the the rejected exam questions one.

[DoctorPossum]

@caroegc Totally agree, the amnesia joke was brilliant.

[caroegc]

@DoctorPossum Finally some agreeing with someone else on youtube :) But yes I nearly dies when she said "or 4) The battle of Hastings"

[areiaamaliaAzelas12]

@KickSumAssProduction I'm a girl and i agree. the guys are the best by far :)

[LivPaige93]

@KickSumAssProduction I frequently say most of the female comedians around at the moment are shit, and I am a girl.

[FullMetalAlcohol]

@KickSumAssProduction Yup. I think Andi Osho wasn't too bad though.

[merrituber1]

host has some fangs on him

[kitaarmes]

I pmsl at... " Umm... Who's penis is this" XD

[dsherstonbaker]

Chris Moyles was on air for a bit longer than just 14 hours :P

[ellenmelon771]

You've got acute angina... and your tits aren't bad, either.

LOL XD xXx

[LemonMan91]

its a good job Frankie boyle wasnt on this one :|

[dalekdalekdalek]

What's the point in the microphone? They are all already wearing microphones o_O'

[TropChuette]

@dalekdalekdalek

Maybe it makes them feel comfortable? Like a podium when you don't have any papers.

[ZhangsterDuck]

0:55 - one of the science teachers at my school's called dr thomas... =/

[ihavethedirtygiggle]

Epic !! Love Mock The Week Always Makes Me Laugh !:)

[kitaarmes]

i lol'd at the errm who's penis is this xx :P

[Boddrs]

Don't want to see quotes from past patients? Then go on youtube and see half of the arguments that most of the idiots get up to?

Seriously, stop quoting everything, make your own stuff up, if you can't ... well ... there really is no hope for you anymore.

[jackloobyloo]

Do you want to find the results of your test

find out after the break !

that is of cause my lunch break...

[abthenoob]

Lol. 1:14 is as funny as shitty fuck!

[johnjullisthebest]

If you dont want the top comments to be a quote from th video, like now

[ror96]

any one else notice when they went to andey parsons 1:06 the camera went down????

[koalaXluv]

I don't get the fingers one...

[BikerBabeNiloy]

@koalaXluv In Britain you flip people by putting up both your middle and index finger. Therefore, two :)

[Rohan2300]

@BikerBabeNiloy well, not exactly true, we use both :P

[BikerBabeNiloy]

@Rohan2300 I tend to get the impression the British are more shocked when you use two instead of one :P but that is just my personal observation of walking around in London for a while :D

[Rohan2300]

@BikerBabeNiloy hehe, that's london, where the middle finger in some areas is just an achnowledgement that you exist. while two fingers is less common, so more offensive still..it sorta says "I'm annoyed enough that I'm going to use a swear sign outside of my normal range"

but much more succintly :P

in the rest of the country, pretty much interchangeable.

[Rohan2300]

@BikerBabeNiloy hehe, that's london, where the middle finger in some areas is just an achnowledgement that you exist. while two fingers is less common, so more offensive still..it sorta says "I'm annoyed enough that I'm going to use a swear sign outside of my normal range"

but much more succintly :P

[andrewclark81]

I know! When will these idiots stop quoting what is said on the video??? SOOO irritating and completely pointless. Not funny at all guys...

[goshootyaself5]

@andrewclark81 0:15, i think they just foud your penis

[JumpRunnerS]

i like how diane didnt laugh at chris addison's joke at 0:12

[TheSamee]

Anyone know who the woman comedian is?

[598sapphire895]

@TheSamee Diane Morgan; it says so in the description box

[lolalinger]

at 1:06 they bring the camera so far down so you can see the new guy

[theskatergirl23]

wow the comments up top are SO original

[Jstuff96]

both of the top two comments are complaining about all the comments being the same... facepalm

[fuckuyawanker]

they need to stop these fucking hitler jokes their in bad taste anne frankley their not funny xD

[5Oblivion]

hold 0 for Hugh humping0

[LemonZeppelin]

The woman is just a female version of Alex Zane.

[Squidgington]

@LemonZeppelin Is Alex Zane not funny either?

[LemonZeppelin]

@Squidgington He's not that bad, search him on YouTube

[200400986]

Its 5am... i was supposed to be asleep at 12.... how many 4 minute videos in 5h??? XD

[saturnstargirl]

I love this show.

[ZiiPoP96]

they actually left out a bit when andy comes back on stage a sadi well as you can see MRSA and Mrs. A look quite alike and it was really funny :D

[coleeeee24]

Andy Parson's sacrafice joke actually made me cry. Too funny.

[Bibiwolfhound]

Hitler didnt have one ball

[HappyIsFleeting]

@Bibiwolfhound Hitler had 4, to kill that many you need 'em!

[SkullJokeBrook]

@Bibiwolfhound That implies that he had none.

[Bibiwolfhound]

@SkullJokeBrook well he did commit suicide rather than face the result of his crimes......

[SkullJokeBrook]

@Bibiwolfhound Yes he did. and his wife that he had been married to for a day.

But what does that have to do with how many testicles he has?

[Bibiwolfhound]

@SkullJokeBrook the metophorical term that he was a coward and didnt have any balls.

[nuttymonkey11]

X( i hate how the two top comments are the same!

[xIonacharliex7]

*insert line from the video we've just seen*

[SupraPresents]

'Bobo! Come back with that! Bad dog!'

[rangieowner]

I don't wanna put a downer on things but, one thing you don't want to hear in hospital (seconds after the birth of your child) is "CAN WE HAVE A CRASH TEAM PLEASE!" It happened to us in July! Not funny but I thought I'd share it with you all!! (Baby ended up fine btw) :o)

[SkrateBeastin]

0:32

Speaking of MRSA... One of my friends was working at hospital one day and this girl came in with MRSA. On her ass.

Three days later, the same girl came in again. She now had MRSA on three of her fingers.

[MPHAMMER1095]

@Stu3100 ur the prick

Milton Jones, prick!