Recognising Emotional Abuse - Dealing with it...

[Daniellegympro1]

or If I am. I knwo i mcan be very rude and judgemental but, all that I say is out of defense. I am constantly on gaurd ready to defend myself. I told him I know he feels like I am white, Bit**, wjos negative.. but hes says i just need to work on my negativity. Its hard Im on guard all the time. I want to put my wals down, but there is not trust. I have left before and he didnt care he liked me gone even asked me to leave...but now says thats a mistake and im his everthing ...can you help me?

[Daniellegympro1]

about the same thing. And I say becasue the same thing never changes. I dont know if he realizes the emotional block I have with him. Is it becasue hes a guy? But even when I do tell him he says Im to sentive and I need to get over it. He says he doesnt feel the same way I do becasue he really has no feelings. he can fall asleep next me as I cry myself to sleep. He hugs and kisses me and hold me but I feel like a child not a wife. I do not feel respected. And I dont know if he is the problem...

[Daniellegympro1]

He loves me but I dont know if me being here anymore is out of comfort or real love. We dont do anything together. I dont want to hang out with the people he works with and that upsets him. Becasue I dont like what he likes he says im close-minded and need to be more open-minded. But I have an opinion, I dont have to like everything or even tolerate it! I always feel alone and my family is tired of hearing about it. I have no one to talk to. When I tell him he says...well you always complain...

[Daniellegympro1]

Not that this really matters but, it does when race issues are constantly being brought up. I know iam negative becasue, I feel i have to be defensive. He always says he hates white people and then says he was kidding. He says Im always negative, but I am deppressed and he doesnt want ot listen or help me. Im stuck at home all day whi;e he works. Im disapointed by how he changed into a person I feel i cannot trust with my feeling and sometimes other issues. Contined on another post...

[Daniellegympro1]

Both me and my husand are very young. I kind of tie that into all our problems. I always felt strong, but delt wiht depression many times in my life. My dad was emotionally abusive calling me names, cursing ar me and more Ironically I met my husband at a christian college but, he changed after we left and got married.. We no longer go to church and always argue. Another big issue is hes african american and im white. I will continue this on another comment Ive run out of room...

[MultiSunflower2]

You are so right !!!

[ritumoni]

i recongnize that my ex boyfriend was emotionally abusive, but i want to ask you,

why do you think they are like that,>? what happend in their childhood specifically?

my second question is do they do it intentionally? the abuse the hurt? could it be that they are subconcisouly doing it and dont realize the pain they are inflicting on their partner?

[janarosem]

OMG, yeah. Thanks.

[dynamitecomedy]

This is great! I was with a emotionally abusive women. It is mentally challenging. But let me tell you the sensible thing to do is leave. But I was left with PTSD. That was nightmares, ramdom crying, flashbacks of the cruelty. How do you deal with the aftermath?

[Kamirarenee]

Hmmm on second thought. I'm thinking cutting any ties would be best. I dont' need the emotional roller coaster ride and damage to my esteem.

[Kamirarenee]

Watching your video I just realized my ex, who I just recently reconnected via email, is an emotional abuser based on the behaviors you described. (ie: irrational outbursts, name calling, he makes excuses never accountable for anything & rehashes the past.) I alwaysthought I was a confident person but thought I was going nuts whenever my ex would switch topics in same conversation. I see now his "victim "attitude is his strategy of controlling. Should I end communication or keep at arms length?

[fetishisticrose]

The 'crazy-making' thing is something I am putting up with now...do you really think these manipulators are purposely DOING this? Or do they not know any better? I feel like I am going crazy whenever I try to discuss anything with my partner, he blame shifts CONSTANTLY. How can he not know how this makes me feel? If he really truly believes that I am the terrible person he says I am , then why does he want to be around me and he can't do anything without me? He smothers me to death & is jealous

[KrisJonesnh]

@fetishisticrose I feel the same as you. I am trying to get him to leave but he won't I have been a stay at home mom of threee for almost 10 years and have no financial/family support. I am trying to build a career right now to get some money rolling, but he sabotages that every time. He is also jealous and does not "allow" me to hug friends or really hardly talk to them...I understand the crazy-making thing, he totally does that, but it seems to me my husband doesn't realize

[fetishisticrose]

@KrisJonesnh wow , I'm sorry ...it's got to be hard with kids. Maybe you can move in with a friend...just a thought....don't you get sick of complaining and nothing ever changes?It's like they have no respect that you are a SEPARATE person-not part of them. Now he's making subtle threats to me...like he'll cheat on me with some teenage girl...(he can't cheat when we're not having sex,lol ..but that's another story. )He's a stranger to me.He's very sarcastic.

[mikhail113]

Thank you!

[TheMightykaz]

Thank u for post! In the process of leaving an emotional abusive woman that lives with me. I am amazed how emotionally and physically drained I feel. I stayed at a friends house last night and was bombarded with 30 phone calls and voicemails. Her emotions ranged from crying and begging to full out rage and blame and insults. I am hoping she leaves soon because I can't handle anymore of her manipulation tactics. She has attempted suicide in the past and I don't know how to handle this. HELP!

[ChangingPost]

@TheMightykaz Hi, just wanted to find out how you've gotten on? As I know that 'in the process' doesn't always have the outcome you want, especially with abusive people. There are lots of books out there that will help, perhaps e-mail me more and I can help more, if I can. Wishing you lots of resolve to escape and become independent, where you can re-build your self-esteem so you don't do the same again. Cheers Will