Mitchell & Webb Live - Fear of Children

[LucasPeep]

Paedophobe... 

[darthralin]

That womble voice sounded an awfull lot like a dalek voice (only not as electronic and without the over announciated syllables).

[rattiepeake]

David's better with TV acting - he doesn't seem 'big' enough for the theatre, somehow.

[SpannerScrew]

I know what he's talking about and I'm 14

[cornishpixies69]

"The truth is... I'm a bit of a paedophobe" "Oh... I guess I always sort of suspected"

[DiamondbackCobra]

...To massacre in oral sex is the last time so.

[pantherion82]

how bloody true!

[LilithFilth]

The kareoke thing killed me!

I'm 33 & don't have kids for that precise reason.....I "enjoy kareoke" a little too much you see. :)

[wybo2]

I'm gonna be uncle in a few mounths, and I'm afraid this senario probelby comming up.

[jimmyshitbags]

@wybo2 it definitely will, I'm 23 and have a cousin who's 2 or 3 or whatever, and I just do not know what the fuck to say to "him" on the few occasions I've had to be in his presence. Then when I do my best trying to avoid any interaction he eventually just sits and stares me out.

[davidmichael07]

If I could either have a puppy or a baby brother or sister, I'm quite certain that I would choose the puppy. Less strange and more exciting.

[Izaak247]

' I want to die' sums up some moments I. My life ;)

[dmvg32]

kiss noise

[dmvg32]

kiss noise



[cnra7x]

Watching David Mitchell do Karaoke would be the best thing ever

[Skellyimp19]

'and i want to die' <3

[MissOwlee]

I like how the captions struggle with what the actress is saying, and when she does the womble voice the captions just sigh and fuck off.

[sofipiggy2796]

lol at the first few seconds with the captions:

"to massacre in oral sex"!? xDD

[mrowsan]

Fear of children, or fear of CREEPY MOTHERS

[scrapheapchallenge1]

Damn right! Keep your noisy, destructive, rude kids away from me until they have learned to talk and found some manners. Sterilisation FTW! I personally hate all women who tell me "oh you'll want one of your own one day". NO I SODDING DON'T! Just because I'm a woman does NOT mean I want a damn brat, I've known that since *I* was a kid. I had to wait till I was 31 even for the doctor to take me seriously about insisting on sterilisation.

[80snessEj]

Lol at how he is just like a child himself xD

[MissOwlee]

When he puts the Womble down I was sure he threw it and was looking in the background for the rest of the video for it the plummet down to earth. After about a minute I was sure David was a super hero.

[drjamespotter]

I can sort of get people finding their own spawn cute and fun, but that is no reason for them to think that the rest of us feel anything other than revulsion. I love my horse and I think he is funny and cute, but I don't expect other people to think the same.

[williamwilson666]

Children are fairly awful- put parents are SO much worse.

[mysterywhiteboy72]

Reminds me of my 4th birthday somehow. I loved Wombles but came to understand they were only 3-4 feet tall. As a surprise a family member burst into the room in a Womble costume, towering over me. I think that was my first taste of true terror. Mike Batt ruled my nightmares for years to come.

[IngaFrid]

'That is like no Womble I have ever heard.' :D

[switchaka345]

Haha, I'm like that around kids...

[255ad]

baby's are disgusting and children are depressing because they remind you of a bygone time of your life

[caramaccat]

NO! WHEN WILL MOTHERS LEARN THAT I HATE YOUR CHILDREN AND DO NOT WANT ANY CONTACT WITH THEM!

[NicWester]

Aside from the last two minutes, that's pretty much identical to how I reacted to my nephew.

[JTProud]

I've never felt more intimately connected to another human being than I do to David Mitchell in this sketch.

[spiegalr]

Super ace.

[whoiscraig]

Why does he have no neck?

[ozziog]

I don't like children.....

[8DX]

@zeeslag123 Young children are cute. Soft skin and head / eye / body ratio makes for cute. Also as a parent (from my experience) you do get the parenting hormones running through your body, and that's why the end of the vid is so funny and true - if we weren't hormone-pumped, we'd all find sex as something icky, sweaty and disgusting - just like children do.

[TalonWolf]

There will be a day when I accidentally impregnate somebody...

And that'll be the day I book a one way ticket to Canada.

[8DX]

@TalonWolf What happens when you accidentally impregnate somebody in Canada?

[TalonWolf]

@8DX Smoke a colossal amount of weed and pretend everything's ok.

[MJMedin]

ha ha we all know a new mother like this! I always pity their kids...

[LiberaLib]

GO ON JOHN!!

[vulcangrl13]

XD I adore children but this is hilarious!

[faulknmd]

Just actually amazing

[8DX]

That end line .... high five man!

[Francis2061]

Do you think this is what David is like with Robert and Abigail's actual daughter?

[Merocet]

FOR ADDED HILARITY TURN ON TRANSCRIBE AUDIO

[LlamasOnAcid]

"and that would mean i would have to have sex and theres no way im doing that!"

LOL

[RacheyBaby1989]

This sketch is me personified. I completely freak out around small children.

[21saz07]

I would have to have sex for that to happen!

I am NOT going there! Lol muchly!

[357Snowball]

NO ONE can look uncomfortable like David Mitchell.

Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed!!!!!!

Lol

[FrederickThePie]

That kid will die from embarrassment when she's older.

[255ad]

@FrederickThePie I think that's a doll

[dragonlordsam]

kiss noise! xD

[LiekaQueenofDarkness]

The Womble Voice actually made me spit tea. :D I love this sketch.

[simpleton7]

Tiny play :)

[pacatrue]

Yay, the sketch ends with the Prince scream!

[susannaaaa]

Aw, look at cute pudgy David Mitchell.

[DeHerg]

I am not sure which will scarf the psyche of that child more, the guy who is afraid of it or this ... this women

If I where the child it would be definitely the women

[jomayc0ck]

This is exactly how I feel about children....

[Redbaron011]

"Children haven't had their heads screwed up yet, so we can't blame them for much."

[Idnarmadur]

"OH MY GOD, I'M SO EMBARASSED!"

I sympathise. So often I want to shout it out in the middle of what to other people seems like a perfectly normal situation _._

[CornishCreamtea07]

poor girl I feel sorry for her having a Mother who is that mental

[zeeslag123]

young childeren aren't cute. they're icky and weird :P

[TherealMrChristophel]

yeah, the IDEA of young children is good but not phyiscly

[Ellisaphant]

Amen!

[existenceisrelative]

@bumfacefuck Interesting perspective. You ever hear the adolescents? I think they have a song you might like.

[DumbassDude]

That woman annoyed me.

[martiniisgood]

This is me.

[WKaliberr]

i hate children

they should be put down

[wIcKeDbRaInDuMp]

hahaha "that is like no womble i've ever heard"

[gurgezgirl]

anyone know who plays susan?

[NoekieB]

That's Abigail Burdess, Robert Webb's wife. :)

[Mysterioux]

God, my name is Jenny. Just them saying Jenny like that cracked me up.

[trooper2469]

whos more scary? jenny or d baby? lol

[seyfosoley]

hahaaaaaaa "what just sort of dab it?" . brilliant, simply brilliant!

[dalek1808]

I've never heard a womble like that either.

[Sharon4192]

Mitchell and Webb are fab - no one can touch them as far as I am concerned, but then I am a very sophisticated person ,

lol

[ojc4546]

only sophisticated peoples like them :)

[InsanitysApothecary]

She scares the SHIT out of me. lol. I'd die if she was my mum :P

[AntonHu]

I'd no idea David Mitchell knew me!

But actually, it's not fear of the children but more embarassment/inhibition brought on by fear of offending/obligation to please the parents.

Like sex though!

[LilaMae99]

God yeah. It's not the children, it's the parents.

[1100ema1100]

what? just sort of dab it against her?

LMAO!!!!!!! XD

[EllIExxxxxX92]

that is like no womble ive eve heard

ahahaha

[1100ema1100]

that part was hilarious xDD

[thatdrattedcat]

Is that Abigail Burdess?

[Dextrous]

Yup!

[loveyoutodeathbut]

Some people are just born nurturers =)

[fagottist]

yup, that's me that man is

[cegriffin]

I'm a little bit in love with that woman.

[TherealMrChristophel]

Y'know... I think she might just be that actress who played Moaning Murtill in HP 2, she was also in Doctor Who.

[cegriffin]

You're thinking of Shirley Henderson, though they do sound and look similar. From some of the past comments on here, this woman seems to be Robert Webb's wife? Is that right?

Either way, she's a really hilarious in this scene. Nice halfway point between straightwoman and ridiculous caricature.

[TherealMrChristophel]

Oh God yes. (probably now someone's gonna start ranting at me for saying "Oh God yes".

[cjwKILLEDcool]

Comments aside, lol at the video!

[TherealMrChristophel]

Even then what is shown in this video is not a hatered of kids but a fear of them...pediophobia or pediaphobia.

[TherealMrChristophel]

Do not confuse age, or rather a lack of it, with inexperiance.

[LostFanFiction]

Do not confuse inexperiance with inexperience.

[TherealMrChristophel]

Ummm... ooookkkaaayyy?

[TherealMrChristophel]

Yes but THAT is where you shoot yourself in the foot because your saying that you should assume that,based on the fact that the person is 13 years old, they can't do that,even though it is mind-boglingly unrealistic that they can. Don't say a 13-year-old can't perform open-heart surgery because of his or her age,say that a person,who happens to be 13, can't perform open-heart surgery because they arn't a surgen. Anyway we have gone off-topic, we're talking about hating kids for being kids.

[TherealMrChristophel]

Then I apologise profusly for a poor choise of words in my prevous comments. I have said "discrimination" whereas I was meaning "prejudice". I shall strive from now on to use the correct terms. I would also like to remind Maverician that now if he's complaning about such a small thing that he is just nit-picking.

[TherealMrChristophel]

Interesting...

[TherealMrChristophel]

In fact, Maverician, you should writ a book about this, " How To Be A Predujistic Twat That Keeps Humanity From Progressing" or would you be considered to be copying George Bush's memours... once he is able to find a red crayon, that is.

[MelchiahTheObscene]

This is exactly how I feel about children.

[hugiesrox]

Oh, grow up...

[Maverician]

It is not as bad as racism or sexism, as both race differences and sex inequalities are not as definitively pronounced.

Age differences are hugely pronounced and the processes that determine this are well known.

[TherealMrChristophel]

All discrimination is as bad as any sort of discrimination you can care to name.

[Maverician]

The fuck it is, discrimination is one of the most important abilities that we have as a species.

It is discrimination that stops people with heart conditions becoming fighter pilots, yet surely that is a good thing?

The only discrimination that is bad is prejudice. Prejudice is unreasoned. Age discrimination is more reasoned than race or sex discrimination.

[MelchiahTheObscene]

One must not confuse age related prejudice with discrimination based on ability. For example, a 13 year old could not be realistically expected to perform the role of a heart surgeon, nor could a pensioner who can't see to read, and nor could I for that matter.

This is not due to age, this is due to an inability to perform tasks required of such a position

[sopho01]

"thats is like no Womble i have ever heard" rolfl hilarious

"im so miserably embaressed, i want to die!" lol ;-)

[NevTheDeranged]

what the heck is on his face?

[slightlyodd999]

a mic

[TheHenryCatman]

It's his microphone if you mean David :P

[explodingplant]

there's nothing wrong with hating kids! they're so weird! they have nooo sense of etiquette.

[kapowz3r]

yea! i hate kids!

[AgentMcgeek]

@explodingplant I must say I take offence at your lack of "ettiquete".

[3infactapples]

she reminds me of Queeny XD

[21031215]

That woman was very creepy. Why do people talk to babies in such horiffying voices?

[JayfuzOMarley]

she sounds like pee wee herman

HELLO MR BREAKFAST FACE !!!!

[72master]

but then i would have to have sex no way i am doing that lol

[jagai]

kiss noise!

[0adam0ant0fan0]

that is so gd!

[angelawyz99]

I think that kid would be traumatized.

[filthmonger171]

i think if i saw a real womble i would hunt it

[72master]

was tht doll a womble ?

[filthmonger171]

yes

[Lewisthemad]

l.o.l funneist duble act ever i saw them live at hammer smith.

[oywidapoodles]

"Then I'd have to have sex, an there's no way I'm doing that!" Ahh, I love him!

[bobzilla211]

what, just sort of dab it against her?

[CornishCreamtea07]

00:28 she sounds like Queenie from Blackadder II

[NalaNosivad]

YES! That was my first thought too!

[mattovboro]

me too lol

[JamesehWameseh]

Jimmy, love your comment. Haha!

[aldamaster]

best line- "yes but then i'd have to have sex..... and theres no way i'm doing that!!!!!"

[HeatherRawriee]

"That is like no Womble I've ever heard."

[clawlesslawless]

crazy coincedence,i had to pause "gett off" by prince to listen to that sketch then it comes on at the end,not interestin to anybody else except me maybe ,but a coincedence i felt worthy of comment

[a2n2queen]

That is like no womble I have ever heard.

[twattish00]

''OMG im so embarrassed !

Im so miserably embarrassed and i want to die ! ''

[JamesehWameseh]

Is the woman on pills or something?

I love the way they stereo-typed the average mother, hyper and screaming in every sentence with a smile an elephant would be proud of on her face.

It's just genius.

[twattish00]

you're an idiot.

stereo-typing and all that bullshit. just shush.

[JamesehWameseh]

Funny isn't it, how they agree with me and not with your comment. :)

[twattish00]

i wouldn't say it was funny,

you are clearly just chatting shit and trying a little to hard to be 'funny' , these dumbasses are just too cynical to realise this :)

[bbopadoe]

Right, and everyone else is wrong and your right.....and he's obviously not trying a little too hard seeing as he is the one with the thumbs up and your just being an asshole....(view the amount of thumb's down you have if you think otherwise).Your just trying a lil too hard to get a bit of attention by being a prick

peace.

[twattish00]

i dont see why you feel you have to get involved, does it make JamesehWameseh's comment more correct just cus he has some loser backing him up now? and sweety, i dont have to try too hard, being a prick comes naturally to me.

and also, its only 8 thumbs down ive had, thats probably two from you and two from that dickhead meaning only like 4 other people disagree with me. not as if ive been defeated have i, LOL.

thanks for giving me the attention tho XD.

[MolkoxLewd]

The whole echoing effect is super freaky.

[Theechosen1from1993]

that is like no womble i've ever heard

[adamwinmill]

"what, just sort of dab it against her?"

genius

[GirEatsChewyMeatPies]

*kiss noise*

[Nayrbarr1234]

that womble has a SCARY voice!

[multitudinal]

the woman is Robert Webb's wife in real life

[MrsLovett112]

Eugh, I hate it when parents are all hyped like that. Hilarious to see it portrayed like this :P

[amyvsmith1989]

This sums up my feelings towards kids!

[lozzotownsend]

david mitchell is so right with my views.

[00Screenager00]

"Do a womble voice."

"..Jesus."

[warrenlaidler]

I know just how he feels.

[wardyladohaye]

lmao...perfection

[justspenny]

well give her a kiss from the womble then!

what, just sort of dab it against her?

I DIED LAUGHING.

[Hydermard]

You type well considering how the rigor mortis must be screwing your fingers up. ;)

[bequist]

This is spot on!!! Absolutely perfect!! David is so right. Why cannot people (especially elderly women) talk to children in a normal way, instead of using this ridiculous "baby talk"???

[mygoodness717]

This is perfect - I have never been able to explain my fear/dislike of children to my friends. I think I will refer them to this video in future.

[jwforever316a]

so you want me to just dab it againsther?

pissed meself for some reason. i love that man. David, you are a god.

[jimmyshitbags]

this is why i will never have children, because i would feel like a fucking idiot having to act like this. he has got it spot on here, i just would not know what to do. the thought of having to interact with anyone younger than 15 makes me shudder, and i am only 20.

[chalkwantsin]

Shes sexy in a scary way

[xmissxHx]

thats robert webbs wife lol

[super0cabbage]

what dvd is this off?

love it

[xxTakeAChanceOnMe]

Lol i love how primalscream got three thumbs ups for what he said but someone else got three down for agreeing :P

[thechaos44]

Que?

[WKaliber1]

its GangStarr

the star of gangs