Friends & Haters

[MeMeCloud]

I always thought that I had little desire to hurt the feelings of others. But at the same time, I've often kept people at arms length, rarely allowing them to do anything for me. Some see this as being giving without wanting anything in return. But in truth, it's because I refuse to allow a complete bond with anyone. I somewhat wonder, if perhaps not giving all that I have to give, is being a toxic friend, because I hold back, even as they try to move in.

[RSmith2125]

Good speech young lady. You must love these people from afar.  Be nice to them. Just don't hang with them. If you are a praying person, then pray for them.

[RSmith2125]

Truly great speech young lady. Keep your distance from these people if they make you feel bad. However, you must have compassion for them because they are leading unhappy lives. They are sad and depressed and want to bring you down to their level. Don't hang out with them. But be nice to them. They might be hurting inside. If you are a praying person, pray for them. Love them from a afar.

[blacklakelight]

You psychetruth people need to bring this woman back, NOW! She great. 

[hlimkb]

indeed,all the best

[mossberg451]

i like her shes really nice how ever girl should be

[axdv1092]

i totally agree with u.

but we can't change what HATERs do.

yeah~ powerless........ i mean me.

maybe the way i can have some change is to study hard.

to meet some more polite or high-class people.

PS. i come from asia so i try my best to express the feel in english soory~

and do u have facebook? :)

[whiff1962]

How about psycho-babble vampires? I think that you are a drain to listen to after one video. But, like a bad car accident, I had to listen to several of your Health-Nazi propaganda videos. Talk about a Church lady mentality! You are a drain!

[Phantasmzero]

actually how do you suggesting cutting ties with someone exactly like you described?

[Phantasmzero]

5:00 to 6:00 hit home for me.

[clonard]

i know someone like this. He seems to always play up on my personal disadvantages, like I can't drive etc, stupid little things. It's like he seems to be always trying to get one up on me. I thouht I was been paranoid at first, but after watching this, his behaviour ticks all these boxes. good vid by the way.

[ILOVECATS08]

people make you feel bad because they have there own self limiting belifes. lack of confidence is the answer to why people do things like this. I have step brother who makes me feel like this but now he doesnt live with me thank God

[dlpine71]

i've always called these people 'trashers'.

they put other people down to raise themselves up. but, they're never really up, are they?? i have three brothers/sisters who fit this sad mold. i've chosen not to see or speak with them for almost five years. although it can hurt not to have siblings in my life i have found peace of mind. great video!!

[beatityatube]

Emotional Vampires are pretty real. I've known one or two. These people get their kicks from putting you down. They lower your estimation and raise their own. Seriously think about it, have you ever been in the company of someone you find physically draining, who leaves you unhappy and exhausted? Perhaps even a partner? Then you've just been the victim of an emotional vampire. A relationship like that is very bad for your health. Break all ties with that person, for your own good.

[drfunk444]

Emotional Vampires?  LOL

[davehiggod]

Every girlfriend I've ever had, makes me feel bad. I have a fairly prosperous life, but, they always criticize me for my lack of ambition. Even though, It happens not to be true. On another note, I've had a few buddies. And, we joke around. But one of them,, I never realized that he took all my jokes personally. But, once I found out, I was sure to stop joking with him, in such a manner. Even though I saw nothing harmful with my innocent jokes, it did make him feel unhappy. so i stopped

[beatityatube]

dave, your girlfriends sound as though they've treated you badly. Although you have to accept that they cannot all be wrong. OK maybe you are picking similar types but the wrong types, so it's probably not this simple. Remakrs that hurt your friend, are more interesting, and might be a clue to a bit of work needing done in your general attitude, and accepting when to draw the line. Words hurt people, consider how you'd feel if the same things were continually said about you.

[Mike251]

I just realized that I'm the bad type of friend. I really hope this video was life changing.

[beatityatube]

Good to hear that Mike. We can all do better.

[martysoffice]

It is sooooooo true and sad. When I really took a good look at this I realized sadly that over 90% of my so called freiends were bringing me down. It was and is very sad and lonely when you actually put this in action yet theres a joy in knowing that your'e taking care of yourself. I guess the key is to replace them with real friends and not get too stuck in the transtion without anyone. Good vid.

[soccom8341576]

This video is good. I have some friends that like to be really competitive. I'm not a competitive person, because I believe in trying my best and not trying to beat people.

[cid420cid420]

i think friends at times need to put friends down . ie joey joins a street gang better to get put down by a friend then get shot by a gangbanger or cop.very often if a friend never puts u down ,their not a friend but playing u ,agree if they putting u down for no reason other then to boost themselfs their dirt,dump them

[redlisab]

Dear Sandy, I just discovered your videos today. I am so enamoured of your style and information that I cannot wait to watch the next one! I am 45 years old, disabled (bipolar disorder) and after 9 years of mental illness, am looking for new solutions to my problems besides the traditional approaches. I have been through a lot of pain because of lack of insight into the truths about these problems which are so prevalent in our culture.

[bipolarorwakingup]

I learned that secret to life about 15 years ago. If you always feel bad being around a so-called friend, ditch`em. Open up that space for a kindred soul.

[beatityatube]

There's a song where I come form called "Caledonia" by Scottish musician Dougie McLean. There is a line in the song that goes, "lost the friends I needed losing - found others on the way".

[ProvocativeDimitri]

YES!

[OwenHiggins]

background music is desperate... I felt like killing myself..

Friends are bullshit... burn your own path and when people slag you off (make fun of you) just realise that they do this because they are insecure about themselves..

And rise above it.... by understanding it

[SentientUnit]

I had friends that were bullshit, and I don't wish them well, I wish that they go through something that makes them better people. Continuous happiness leads to nothing but something bad may teach em a lesson.

[grim7xbox7]

sometimes it's necessary to be around people who make you feel bad in order to approve upon yourself. For instance if you feel bad when you are with a friend who is much more succesful than you, instead of avoiding him because he makes you feel bad you should reflect on why he makes you feel bad. You may decide that you should try striving to your full potential and leading a more successful life like your friend.

[ceo560]

These people you spoke of aren't necessarily bad people, they just aren't your kind of people. I and the "I'm out of debt" guy would probably get along great, because we have similar personalities. You and him weren't personality compatible. It doesn't make him or you a bad person. People must pick friends that fit them and not change to fit their friends.

[beejenny38]

Good video. What is sad is when the one pulling another down is a close family member. Even a parent or spouse. That's when the destruction is difficult to deal with.

[cybervigilante]

People who are hypercritical feel very bad inside - their goal is to get you feeling as bad as they do so they have company in their misery ;')

[cybervigilante]

But oddly enough, so many women are attracted to the ratbastards and pass up the good guys like a pay-car passes a bum. I think it's genetic. If nobody bred with the creeps there wouldn't be so many of them. They must have creep-magnetism. Maybe it's a form of hypnosis, like when a bird is fascinated by a snake ;')

[JimmyK76]

If you have friends who when you tell them good news, (especially if it doesn't involve them) they don't seem genuinely happy for you, then reevaluate the relationship. If all someone does is bring you down, then you don't need that person to be a strong factor in your life.

[PLpr0]

I dont really think avoiding haters is ok. I personally think you should tell them gently how you feel about them, and listen what they have to say. Often they dont realize that they are being mean or sth. After this you can still decide to avoid such people or not.

I personally dont like to runaway from problems. I feel better when I face them. Greets.

[givebirthathome]

yes! Marshall Rosenberg's Compassionate Communication is not quite the panacea that some make it out to be, but particularly good for some of that problem-facing.

[MusicBox1986]

Great Great Video!!!!! Made me feel better.

[vtwinheart]

You're not mad about the horse joke are you? If so please send me a message so I have a chance to apologise.

[mcurren2004]

It just goes back to the old saying..if you can't say something positive to a person then keep quiet..unless they ask your opinion. When someone says something negative to me like that, I always ask them why they said it..just to see where they're coming from. Gotta choose your friends. Mary

[JustOneEarth]

Great video.

Got me thinking about a guy I know that is a real downer. I think it's part of his sense of humor and he just doesn't see how much his words and attitude can grate on everyone nerves, but it's really irritating at times.

[psychpatient101]

Great advice! I think a lot of people live with negative people and don't realize this is why they feel like crap all the time. How can you grow when someone is putting you down all the time? Think of them in terms as an emotional vampire- sucking the life out of you.

[ranera]

well words can make people kill themselves

[SFJane]

no, people kill themselves voluntarily because they can not take it anymore, words do not *make* you kill yourself, you *make* yourself die, let's accept personal responsibility here and not grant occult powers to the written or spoken word ranera

[Serenity1211]

I don't all believe in all the friends who make me feel good all the time and pretending. I mean some are good but some true friends really pointing out the mistake of yours. They are more like harsh teachers, like my brother who doesn't make me feel 'Good' all the time. We argue a lot but later on we got okay. But, 'friends' can be a little bit different; btw, the word 'Hate' you use is really strong.

I st feels that I also have insecure feelings inside; 'I think' (not sure).

[mec7070]

Most of us who view this are _probably_ not the ones making others as described, but, how do we know? I don't think I do this to anyone, but I think it's a good idea for me at least to think about how I affect others and make sure I'm not doing exactly what I dislike that's described here. Thanks for the great video.

[saturateu]

I sent this to my teenager. I hope she watches it!

[saturateu]

Excellent video!

[veranichole1981]

Wow! Your friend sounds so much like the person that I'm screening my phone calls to avoid. When everything got down for me I just started to notice how much I dreaded talking to her. Every time I got off the phone I felt like I was a pathetic loser and she was the whole sun and the earth. Worst part is that she is going to be a social worker so she is going to be doing this to others professionally on a daily basis. I feel so sorry for them.

[veranichole1981]

In fact, I made a video about it to vent my frustration so I hope you don't mind if I post it?

[psychetruth]

feel free.

[Invesigator]

To psychetruth: Who is the lady featured in the above video? What is her name? She's quite good looking. Give me her name!

[psychetruth]

Her name is Sandy. No video from her this week; she is having her wisdom teeth removed this week. But she will be a regular on the channel.

[fiftycaliberfistfuck]

wow, I must be the devil incarnate, every single psychetruth video I watch just slams the hell out of me... jeez louise.. i do everything wrong, according to the philosophy of Cartman of SouthPark. welcome to the abyss! I guess I'm down with Satan, the rebel...

[psychetruth]

The fact that you continue to watch my videos means there is still hope brother. :)

[girlwithoutgrey]

Good point! I usually do not pay attention who makes me feel good or bad, people in my life are so stressed recently that they tend to get even more negative most of the time.

[kiya3]

This describes my father perfectly, except I did not have a choice as a child to walk away. Now I am FAR AWAY from that ass hole.

[iqchip]

Thank you for this video. This goes on in my world, but I internalize and think "well maybe its because I really am just crazy or blahblah..." but you know... only one person does that to me in my life, so maybe i should just disregard it or move away from it if it keeps happening. Thanks for the insight... very helpful.

[Daveyolous]

Very good video and some good points made. I love your work

[bikebunny2005]

great vid :o)) youre a great & genuine good person thats my opinion on ya hope ya dont mind keep those vids rolling you do ace :)

[jimsim3]

Don't be to soft, tell the person were to get off...."Don't be mean I like bill etc".. tell them to stop, If not Reverse the roll, and Control there emotions.

kill the conversation before there punch line with a "yeah well" and walk away. Take the wind out of there sail. most joker,s get the picture. No spot light SEE.

As for stress fine some where you love and keep it close to your heart for me it mountains I can walk the path,s in my mind.

[Jervns]

The simple truth's are the best. I'm smiling at the end of this video. Why do you suppose that is? :D

[Ouroboros6]

Lovely stuff.

[arewethereyet]

I've had a friend for a long time who I like, but honestly she makes me feel like crap most of the time. Over the years I've gotten much better at telling her this, and letting her know when she's being rude or sarcastic (which is often). But I also know she's been through a lot with her family, and I think a big part of it is how she was socialized growing up.

[arewethereyet]

(cont'd) I think about cutting all ties with her sometimes, but we've been friends for so long, and share a large group of common friends that it would really be hard, and I don't know that I would even want to do that. Small doses is the key I guess.

[L8nitedave]

Your vids make me feel good. I'll keep hanging out with you. I reciently changed jobs for this very reason. Good post.

[uselessfilm]

Only problem is, most of the people I know both cause me stress, and make me feel good. Part of life I think. Of course, as you said, there are those that are not worth your time.

Cool video.

[Seabrook78in]

Wow. Cool.

[SFJane]

5 stars Mike!

The secret to removing a TON of psycho-emotional stress in your life is to get away from losers, haters, bigots, abusers and people with extreme unmanaged mental illness.

You have to take care of yourself, you can't save everyone. Make boundaries and do not allow yourself to be abused by others, especially family and associates.

[psychetruth]

Hehe, I thought you might agree with this one Jane. I kind of like the way you state it more directly, "get away from losers, haters, bigots, abusers and people with extreme unmanaged mental illness."

[AlterEgoTrip]

I get where you are coming from, but the truth, let it be known, I often avoid family members, in fact so much I moved to a whole different country. :) But seriously, I know I don't feel bad when people get down on other people and not let others live and be without judgement. I often joke to my mother in law, if she can't say something nice, then stop right there.

[psychetruth]

There is Buddhist proverb, "Speak only when you can improve on silence."

[JPortfolio]

Very good video. I think it's a very good advice. All you need is to keep your eyes open to see who is an "energy drainer", and enough willpower to leave that person away.

[peaceandparty]

but i strongly disagree with avoiding people who stress us and essentially ignoring them..........i think getting more centred in ourselves and becoming more resistant to the sometimes crazy weathers of emotions that challenge us through life is much better than the easy path of ignorance...haters are ignorant....and i think its ultimately selfish-ignoring!

[psychetruth]

Well I've heard that argument before but disagree. I'm capable of being a good friend but I don't owe my friendship to anyone, nor am I obligated to spend my time w/ assholes. I beleive it's important to give people a second and maybe even a third chance, but at some point you have to call an asshole an asshole and cut them out of your life or continue to be negatively affected by them.

[SFJane]

that is one of the wisest things you have ever said Mike. I agree 110%, and that attitude is the right antidote for those that do not respect themselves or feel that suffering people for social connections leads to virtue

[peaceandparty]

well.....its not one way or the other but a mix of both ways!obviously we dont need to keep "assholes"in our lives but we can also attract the "asshole" when we believe in the mirror effect......i cannot explain myself at the mo...but i am happy that many people are interested in this subject...i will one day in the future do a video!thx

[peaceandparty]

i am happy that more and more people will join together and try and help erradicate ,over time,the feelings of need to hate others who dont (not literally)speak our language!