PORTAL 2 - Wheatley Quotes | Part 2

[Pikalove18]

"There are tests subjects in Africa who don't even have moniters in their test chambers." I had to pause the video cuz I laughed too much XD

[FR3DKRU3G3R]

I just lol'ed at the whole rant with us smashing his monitors. XD

[NeoItoh]

'Remember when I first told you you had to find that little portal thing you love so much? Well, I thought you'd die on the way, if I'm honest. All the others did. You didn't think you were the first, did you? Hahaha, no, no, no! Fifth! No, I lied - sixth! Perhaps it's best to leave it to your imagination what happened to the other five. Do you know what? I think we're well past the point of tasteful restraint, so I'll tell you what happened to them - they died.'

That's creepy coming from him.

[Misteve101]

Never played the game but god... i love listening to these XD

[TheMorbidSideOfMusic]

13:18

"It's literally your only puRRpose."

XD <3

[carlotta4th]

Wheately! Stop yelling at me. ;_; Don't you remember the good 'ol days when you'd be like "come back" and I'd be like, "sure?"

[MzAbc123yo]

feeling bad for the test subjects in Africa who don't have monitors in their test chambers :(

[ttsquared24]

@BeautifulCreature I know how you feel!! I remember in the beginning when GLaDOS "crushed" him and I was all like "Wheatley!!!" D: and when he said he hated me/Chell, I was so sad. And I felt even worse at the end when he yells "Grab me grab me grab me!" :(

[FakerUKAccents]

I bet that's not even fire coming out of the walls!

[FakerUKAccents]

"I'm a bloody genius now...I don't even know what I just said!"

"Are you still alive?! You're joking!"

"Now we're all going to bloody die!"

"Don't press that button! I forbid you to press it!"

[drowningmouse]

Most intimidating part of dealing with Wheatley: "Who's the boss? Who's the boss? *moves very close* It's me."

[linkamajora14]

space. space? spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace

[linkamajora14]

is the voices in order?

[AkatsukiCerberus]

"Brain damaged. Like a fox."

[RabuPep]

Y'know, I've always wondered how he thinks Chell could've bossed him around if she's mute... Maybe he's just a moron. xD

[E1craZ4life]

@RabuPep HE! IS NOT! A MORON!

[Yinga2]

5:12 Aaargh! aagh! eaaagh! o.o

[darkria4]

"GRAB ME GRAB ME GRAM ME GRAB MEEEEEEE!!"

[darkria4]

5:00 O__O

[KyaotheYandere]

PFFFFFFFT.... BOOBIE trap....

[AloneUnknown]

0 dislikes! interesting..

[benjaminfan666]

2:38 .... wheatley orgasm....

[Aviarmew]

10:45

"*sigh*... Just stop itttttt..."

XD

[tanyajuge]

He sounds like the geico lizard!!! >3<

[captchaluff]

7:43 I cried.;_;

[MewYuki23]

"This place would've been a triumph!" Were you gonna make a note here?

[lilanthia]

I saw Stephen Merchant's stand up comedy gig a few days ago, hilarious. Although now it's hard to listen to Wheatley without wanting to here him say 'An innocent copy of 'The Goonies'? IS IT BOLLOCKS!!!'

[VueiyVisarelli]

"Ya' know what, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers, alright? Why don't you think about that before you break any more of them yeah? Yeah."

So humanitarian of him.

[fzeroracer623]

Clever girl

[havoc697]

Grab Me gab megrabmegrabmegrabmeeeee

[88FingersEddward]

5:30 Fatty. :D

[SaintTiny300pl]

"～You are not using the program in the traditional form. Please, consult the manual.～"

That's the spanish bit, in the closest translation I can muster.

[NESDragon20]

I think Wheatly just needs some cake.

[Emerrichan]

"Oh did you bring your little portal gun? There's nothing to portal on to here love just 10 pounds of dead weight, about to be 2010... fatty."

Always makes me lol xD

[PrinceLuigii]

whaa "You've been a thorn in my side for long enough"....

RIIIIIICK, YOU GOT IN HIS HEAD!

[Hippiehater1683]

As I listened to the Spanish speaking part, he says something along the lines of "You are using this software incorrectly. Please consult the manual."

XD

[2KingdomHearts345243]

Awww....Stooop ittttt :D So cute

[TehNerdQueen]

I was itchy this morning, damned mosquitoes. And all I could think about was him, and I was all "WTF BRAIN?!"

[BeautifulCreature]

@The0infected Yup, totally understand your feelings. My first reaction to his speech was: "Wha---Why?!Why,Wheatley?!Why are you so mean to me?!"

Seriously, I didn't do anything o_O....and I'm not fat! ;__;

I so much enjoy listening to his babbling.The monitor-speech is delighting! Even during the end-battle I caught myself giggeling!

I Always missed him during the game when he wasn't around.I love his maniac laughter.The "GRAB ME!"-part broke my heart, though...

Stephen Merchant is a genius.

[Oyashirosamananodesu]

*overheats* o//////o

[The0Infected]

"Am I being to Vague? I despise you, I LOATHE you! Your arrogant, smugly quiet, awful, jumpsuited MONSTER of a woman! You and your little Potato friend! This place would have been a triumph if it wasn't for you!"  Oh.... I think my heart just crumbled to pieces.. That hurt, Wheatley, that hurt. </3

[MilesRose2]

Wheatley and the angry itch

[LimeChao]

I have to test, otherwise I get this itch.. LOL WHEATLEY!

[AJT112524]

There are test subjects in Africa that don't even HAVE monitors in their test chambers!

[Unseendark69]

lol the screen parts is hillarous xD

[mannystella]

08:08 Well this thorn is about to take you down!!! Man! that sounded a lot better in my head.

[TheFlyingStar11]

I lol'd at Wheatley's orgasms.

[BitgateMobile]

"You're gonna test, and I'm gonna watch".

Yes, Wheatley. That's what a Peeping Tom does. Thumbs up if you think Wheatley's a Peeping Tom. Thumbs way up if you think Wheatley's a Perverted Peeping Tom.

[jessieandjames4ever]

DON'T! DON'T DO IT! DONT'T PRESS IT! I FORBID YOU TO PRESS THE DISLIKE BUTTON!

[invadercatty]

Oh god when i heard the "OOOH YES..." part i just facepalmed. XD

My mind is so wrong yet...

SO RIGHT.

[negativenoble]

"Just stop iiiit..."

oh god I love smashing screens

[brandonjamesbarnes]

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaah" Wheatley's scream is awesome.

[SuperSegaliSister]

How can Chell boss someone around when she's mute?

[101Wolfy]

@SuperSegaliSister Good point....

[lajaggahagga]

8:37 ...................... LOL!

[Maphysto]

Lots of sharp bitz welded onto the front bitz.

And he wants to make them shoot fire.

It's official. Wheatley is an Ork in disguise.

[Chibichan86]

"Come on, solve it. Solve IT! SOLVE IT! *Commanding voice*" XD

[variable2102]

Yeah, brain damaged, LIKE A FOX!

[xXYaoiKittyXx]

"This.. This ITCH.."

:D -helps Wheatley with his "ITCH"-

[animefanJC]

TESTGASMS. <3

[JinxElite119]

Well, I'm still in control, and I have NO IDEA how to fix this place!

[kariedme]

Precious HUMAN moon? Does that mean that there is also a robot moon?

[xXYaoiKittyXx]

-grunting Sound from Wheatley-

Me: O.O.... -mind whirs into dirty mode- DAMMIT D///X

[PrinceOfAltea]

It would be funny as hell if there was an Aperture test chamber in Africa that in fact DIDN'T have monitors. XD

[derplol12]

Stephen Merchant has one of the sexiest voices ever.

[YearOfTheShadow]

@derplol12 Hell yeah, i completely agree XD

[xxxanimepopxxx]

@derplol12 I agree entirely ♥

[kariedme]

As soon as he started to say "I did this" the first thing that came to my mind was, "I DID THIS FOR YOU!!!"

...

I need to stop watching so many videos...

[xxxanimepopxxx]

" In fact, You might even say your going to love it ... to death. "

For a moment there, he actually sounded like a really sexy villain ... until he stuttered.

[drowningmouse]

@xxxanimepopxxx Yeah, then he just sounded adorable. lol

[UndeadAngel993]

He sounds like an axe crazy ex-boyfriend XD

[xxxanimepopxxx]

@UndeadAngel993 Until he gets distracted by his own mind and stutters, then he just sounds like a cute moron. An axe-crazy, cute, moron ex-boyfriend (if it was me he wouldn't be an ex, I'd never want to break up with him lol)

[breaksystembse]

o_0....

...xD

[Nerf570]

Am I actualy watching all of the videos...nice...

[Evilchick101]

Wheatley's voice= *girlish squeal* XD 10/10!

[kitster900]

2:13 "No problem! I'll just make an exit! (suddenly less confident voice) For your test."

[Nickirkpatrick]

HAAAAAX!

[SpiffyRock21]

You know what? Wheatley is a pimp. I'm serious. He makes his ho's get him the satisfaction he needs FOUR TIMES IN A ROW, then once it stops working for him, he's like "fu*k you" and decides to kill you. Wheatley don't care. Wheatley don't give a damn, he goes through ten bitches a WEEK.

[SpiffyRock21]

"...commanding voice...." Why do I love that part so much?!

[MistressYume]

Wheatley: You might say that you're going to love it...

Captions: You might say that you're going to war.

Wtf. Biggest differences.

[Sasura16inLoVe]

he reminds me of Stewie ^^

[normalguycap]

Musta been fantastic to do the voice recording.

[xxxanimepopxxx]

2:38 *giggle* getting a little excited there are we, Wheatley?

[lotusgirl002]

@xxxanimepopxxx

oh that was just embarrassing LOL

my brother already finished playing Portal 2

so when it was my turn to play, he always watched

...I had to hide my face at that part <///<

[ronathandaman]

Only the parts when he's in control?

[lazicful]

Scizophrenia. XD

[Ledgendveemon]

*spanish gibbrish*

[LionheartMachinima]

"Tell me Karl, what do YOU think about testing?"

[loucam08]

3:10

...and everything is going to be just...fine.

SHUT UP!

Whoa!

That part is funny :)

[FlippinBooks]

Now, whenever I see something I can't explain, I'm just going to attribute it to "cleverly placed lights and papier mache".

[DeeShizoku208]

5:15 I know someone had a pervy mind about this ._. XD

[TDLBallistic]

WHEATLEY STOP FAPPING TO TESTS

[bononcrusher2]

@TDLBallistic Can you blame him? The new Chell is HOT!!!!

[rainethesage]

Having done nothing but listen to Wheatley babble for the last half-hour, I am beginning to feel dumber.

[demonspite]

"Brain damaged like a fox, you!"

[MaverickV1111]

The guy is English. He sounds like a combination of welsh and norfolk, which isn't too far from the truth since he was born in Bristol.

[MaverickV1111]

@MaverickV1111 Bollocks, I meant Cornish, i.e Cornwall.. not Norfolk. That's what a few stellas does to ya...

[CynderTheDragon1]

I have this kind of accent...I feel special now XD

[kirmra]

@CynderTheDragon1 That is so cool, I love Wheatley's accent!!

[CynderTheDragon1]

@kirmra you're not the only one. XD I usually hate my accent, but as soon as I heard Wheatley's voice, I was like...Aw yeah XD

[64hoshi]

From 2:39 to 2:49 0//0 Wheatley?! What the hell are you doing!? Giving me a nosebleed?

[xxxanimepopxxx]

@64hoshi My nose litterally started bleeding. I'm not even lying. I don't know if it was because of that, or something else, but my nose is bleeding ... I feel like ... a moron now FFFFFUUUUU---

[64hoshi]

@xxxanimepopxxx I don't really but the sound he made can really turn someone on

[IsaTheAwesome]

@64hoshi My thoughts exactly.

It was probably pretty awkward recording those lines. XD

[64hoshi]

@IsaTheAwesome I think it is awkward and hot at the same time.

the fact this game is rated E10+, I'm not kidding.

[IsaTheAwesome]

@64hoshi I know, right? I have no idea how those lines got past the radar, but I'm glad they did.

[64hoshi]

@IsaTheAwesome at least we know they have a dirty mind.

[Trukknotmunky]

I think his spanish line was something like: "Warning: Central core incorrectly installed. Please consult a manual to avoid core corruption."

[IsaTheAwesome]

@Trukknotmunky He said, "You are using the translation software incorrectly. Please consult the manual."

[fang11803]

The monitor bit was funny XD

[Violetthehedgehog756]

Wheatley makes me proud to be British :D <3

[totallyish]

8:40 PAPIEY MASHE

wheatley i love you.

[marxandkirbyrocks]

I lol'd at "I dunno what a homeless person would do with them... (big tv) and you can't unscrew them, they're bolted in...Just stop iiiit!"

[Marescaux93]

Sounds Yorkshire to me.

[Deathowl90]

only 10 pounds of dead weight. about to be 210... fatty xD

[kingdomofheaven666]

Love him to bits :D I don't care if he is evil

[yayacomment]

Just a heads up to everyone that said "He said mate! Is he Australian?" As an Australian myself I can safely say his accent is not. In fact when I first heard Wheatleys voice I was kinda confused because it sounded to me like a combination of an English and Irish accent. Lol. Stupid me! Accents can be bloody confusing.

[LolitaAlchemist]

@yayacomment The voice actor, Stephen Merchant, is VERY much so English. But he has a habit of saying mate in real life.

[LionheartMachinima]

@LolitaAlchemist ...

...We say mate too, mate.

[Chiliearts]

Brain damage. Like a FOX.

[drpaino]

your gonna love it.. TO DEATH!

[Bumblebee13241]

lol @ 5:29

[Lottechu]

Wheatley loved us ;A; that made me cry X'D

at 07:42

[Bumblebee13241]

wheatley has a british accent. wow.

[NobleSkull]

@Bumblebee13241 so?

[Bumblebee13241]

@NobleSkull i thought it was funny, now i realise it is British\Australian.

[NobleSkull]

@Bumblebee13241 No dude. No. Don't embarass yourself. Australian is nothing like british. I'm scottish. Steven Merchant is english from cornwall, and is no where near australian.

[YearOfTheShadow]

@NobleSkull Just asking, but i heard he was from bristol? Also i agree, australian is knowhere near the same as english, in fact there's almost no resemblance except we both SPEAK english.

[NobleSkull]

@YearOfTheShadow Oh, sorry, my mistake, he is from bristol.

[Bumblebee13241]

@Bumblebee13241 well, i don't know much about accent, but isn't "mate" Australian?

[Leiriko]

@Bumblebee13241 Mate is English!!! Wheatley has a cockney accent from the west (I'm from the west midlands) and TRUST ME when I say pretty much everyone in england (guys mostly) say mate and love. Wheatley is English, his voice actor Stephen Merchant used his own natural voice.

[Bumblebee13241]

@Leiriko I feel like an idiot now, but thanks for telling me, now I can tell my friends I made a mistake, but still, thanks.

[Vetis213]

@Bumblebee13241 so did he lol its not cockney its west country near cornwall, bristol :)

[Vetis213]

@Leiriko its not cockney at all, thats just a london area accent. east end of london mainly(stratford etc) . He is from the west country, other side of england from london and cockneys. its getting towards the cornish/stereotype farmer accent of that area.

[Leiriko]

@Vetis213 Lol I'd love to argue with you but I figure it's better to just let people enjoy being wrong x

I find it hard anyway to even pinpoint accents. I'm from the west midlands, he sounds like people from the WEST so given that, y'know, I was right at the begining ^_^

[TheCakeIsALieGLaDOS7]

"Papie mashe" xD

[amythemistcat]

@TheCakeIsALieGLaDOS7 That's actually one of the two pronunciations.

Technically, it's more accurate.

[TheCakeIsALieGLaDOS7]

@amythemistcat Its still funny.

[amythemistcat]

@TheCakeIsALieGLaDOS7

/shrug

[Bumblebee13241]

@TheCakeIsALieGLaDOS7 umm, Wheatley its paper ma-she.

[SailorYue]

i love the moniter smashing quotes... i kept getting 'bless your primate brain" cuz if you die the lines reset. >.>

[KenzieKaddl]

"Just ten pounds of dead weight...about to be two hundred and ten...FATTY!" oooooo snap, Chell betta recognize

[pinkyoshiequalshappy]

Ooohhh, man alive! 3:01

[theskepkitty]

Thumbs up if you got here from TV Tropes.

[virginiarules510]

"You're just delaying the inevitable, all right, you cannot run from my bombs forever.....Well, you can if I keep aiming them poorly."

That line made me literally laugh out loud.  Perfect.

[Masterferret7]

At 13:09, what is it he's saying in Spanish there?

[TabsTabsTabs]

@Masterferret7 "You are using the translation software incorrectly. Please consult the manual."

[NeedsMoarShrooms]

@Masterferret7 something with incorrect comission ( i think) and please consult the manual

[SemTatsuki]

There's nothing to portal onto here, love! Just 10 pounds of dead weight! About to be 210... fatty. D: <

[CheshireCrowy]

amg. <3 I love his evil laugh.

[93TheAce]

Brain damaged like a fox.

[YearOfTheShadow]

is it just me or is some of the stuff wheatley says (even the evil killing stuff) sound ever so slightly sexual...

[Feeniefan12345336]

@YearOfTheShadow

"OHHH YES! Ohhh, well done!"

Slightly? He just had a robotgasm. XD

[8leggdbutterfly]

@YearOfTheShadow Well it should! XD GLaDOS says that testing is wired to some pleasure center in the AI. So testing is sort of like weird robot masturbation. Haaaaa.

[YearOfTheShadow]

@8leggdbutterfly Oh yeah, i never thought of it like that! Plus, GLaDOS explains that the effect ran out for her ages ago, thats why she didn't make any of the noises. she was just in it for the science. Though i think Cave Johnsons lemon rant may have recindled that, if you've ever heard that converation...

[DongoFett617]

Best villain of 2011

[mechaheart]

You're going to love it.... to death.. Gonna love it until- until it kills you- until you're dead.

[halobabe117]

Lol, ' about to be 210!......fatty!'

[Phiglee]

Haha when he says paper mâché as "pap-ee-ay mash-ay" does he just not know what it is because he's a robot or or is that a british thing?

[TehNerdQueen]

@Phiglee Nah he's just...not very bright xD

[Nalenthi]

@Phiglee It's a British thing.

[anima2221]

@Phiglee I think it's a british thing, and where is that on the timeline? thx :3

[philjt7474]

@Phiglee actualy he is pronuncing it correctly Papier-mâché is french for chewed paper I think most people from europe say it right but I think americans say it wrong (like aluminium)

[SetsugekkaRikimaru]

@philjt7474 Yeah I never got why they call it "Aloominum"

[TheGerschDevice]

ITSSSS MEEE I CUMMIIINNNG