Cave Johnson Lemons

[nitbot]

I just applied this philosophy to a problem and .... it worked.

[ErnestoBarbicha]

I don't, man. The track team captain had a much better use for his lemons.

[cupecake1236]

lol this is so funny

olivia

[optionen100]

When Youtube gives you a new Layout, dont make lemonade. Make life take the Layout back!

Get mad! I dont want your damn Layout, what am I supposed to do with these?

Demand to see life´s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give

Cave Johnson a new Layout! Do you know who I am? I´m the man who´s gonna burn your

Server down! With the Layout! I´m gonna get my engineers to invent a Combustable

Layout that burns your Server down!

[Spreewaldtopf]

I like the ending. he sounds like hes using his last breath trieng to say the last words. hes in rage man.

[supereldinho]

His presidential elections speech:

When electives give you promises, don't make votes. Make elections, take the promises back. Get mad. I don't want your damn promises what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see your supporters. Make elections rue the day it thought it could give CAVE JOHNSON promises do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your reputation down...with the promises. I'm gonna get my voters to invent a combustible promsie that burns your reputation down!

CJ FTW!

[XXZonisXX]

30 people no longer have houses

[Kipkat13]

umad bro?

[Kythanaable]

That's a very nice lemon you have there...ssssss

[LucianVanShnitzle]

OBBY!! THIS IS SOO.... AMAZING!!!!!!!!

[themanclaw2]

lol is cave johnson the capitalist opposite of Leninade?

[PJsparkman]

CANT...STOP...LISTENING. SO...AWESOME! SOOOOOO...FUNNNNNNNNNNNNY!

[rub1k]

If life gives you melons, you're just dyslexic,

[Wargod2]

k i been thinking, when youtubers gives you thumbs down,dont QQ over it!, make youtubers take the thumbs down BACK! GET RAAAAGE! I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN THUMBSDOWN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE? DEMAND TO SEE YOUTUBE MANAGER! MAKE YOUTUBE RUE THE DAY AT THOUGHT THAT YOUTUBE GIVE U A THUMBS DOWN! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? im the man whos gonna who is gonna THUMBS u DOWN with the DESLIKE BUTTON! im gonna get my dog to invent a combustible thumbsdown button THAT BURNS YOUR ACCOUNT DOWN

[josewaycoolerthanu]

EVERY

VILLAIN

IS

LEMONS

Also known as EVIL!!

[mrepicnobody]

I believe, in a new fresh world, lemons rule the world

[Temeraireguy]

2 Combustible lemons please! I want to blow something up and burn some houses down

[REsidentVille]

I ate some lemons and I was more than k

[InternetUploader]

I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN LEMMONS I WANT MY INTERENET TO BE FASTER SO I CAN WATCH YOUTUBE VIDEOS WITHOUT WAITING HALF A HOUR FOR IT TO LOAD DAMMIT

[WW2obsession]

Ufufu~

[FunPika4]

Cave Johnson: Burning life's house down with lemons, LIKE A BOSS!

[PhantomFluttershy]

Lemon battery or potato battery. Choices, choices.

[AcePilot199]

I don't want your lemons! I want pictures of Spider-Man!

[jayden96100]

he sounds and looks like Mr Johnson from the spiderman movies

[MCPOSJ117films]

@jayden96100 you mean mr. jameson. and they're voiced/played by the same guy.

[IAMAMEGAMANpunch]

cans.wav

[xXZayzeXx]

IM THE MAN WHO'SE GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN WITH A LEMON. FUCK LOGIC

[ImmaShindou]

When life give you lemons,daaance!

[tailsawsome17]

CAVE JOHNSON FOR PRESIDENT in 2012

[13mungoman13]

When life gives you lemons MAKE THEM EXPLODE >:D

[LeeStudios815]

Me: Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE? DEMAND TO SE LIFE'S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOU HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'M GOING TO GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

Cleverbot:What are you going to eat?

[ZombiEgirL432]

Nick tm always says this :D

Except he says darn instead of d......

Whatever

The thing is he got me here ;D

[TheExplosiveBomb]

I worship this man.

[bellakitty00]

@optionen100 i actually prefer this new layout. people just don't like it because they aren't used to it. I find it rather useful to be able to enlarge without fullscreen.

[6blanks]

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade.... make beef stew.

[Permafry42]

maybe this is why ign gave portal 2 GOTY 2011: because it's actually the funniest video game ever made!

[MrRMC1994]

When life gives ya lemons make grape juice and keep them wondering. 'how'

[duckwithnukes]

I used to like Cave Johnson, but then I took a lemon through the knee.

[Kizzadafatman]

Replace 'lemons' with 'SOPA' :D GET MAD

[ezekgta4fan]

When life gives you lemons, make apple sauce and make life wonder,

""HOW THE FUCK DID HE MAKE APPLE SAUCE???"

[brightespeon]

Im the man whos gonna burn your house down... with the lemons!!!!

[SecretGrenadeStash]

I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS.... I WANT PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN!!!

[theSWORDisR3BORN]

@SecretGrenadeStash haha that was good bro

[AboveAllElseLove]

Alright, I've been thinking: When Congress gives you SOPA, don't take websites down! Make Congress take SOPA back! Get mad! I don't want your damn SOPA, what am I supposed to do with this? Demand to see Congress' Speaker of the House! Make Congress rue the day it thought it could give AMERICA SOPA! Do you know who we are? We're the ones who are gonna burn the House of Representatives down: with SOPA! We'll get our engineers to invent COMBUSTIBLE SOPA that BURNS THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES DOWN!

[shadowyoshigamernerd]

@AboveAllElseLove YOU BEAT ME TO IT.

[AboveAllElseLove]

@shadowyoshigamernerd Great minds think alike. :)

[cookedjepi]

GIVE MY LEMONS BACK GIVE THEM BACK  I DONT WANNA UR DAMN LEMONS WHAT I OPPOSED TO DO WHIT THESE:D

[ExtremeYaoiFanatic]

The awkward moment when you realize that you were drinking lemonade, whle listening to this...

[Frannsuha]

Cave Johnson: "I want you to get up now, go to the window, open it, stick your head out and yell: I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take these (lemons) anymore!!!!!"

[FearfulPerson]

i gave him a lime

[sourlime151]

@FearfulPerson Dun touch me!

[WindyEBowerstone]

I laughed so hard I had tears run down my face XD

[pordiogo]

Did anyone notice he almost started laughing at end of the video?

[DanteForever20XX]

@pordiogo Nah he was coughing.

[mvilla1998]

lesson learned, dont give cave johnson lemons

[LegendaryAsshole]

Potato lemon

[hellokn100]

Take lemons out and replace it with revision, Makes me feel a little better.

[1v1atrix]

Take lemons out and put in Apple...

[ImmaAnime]

U MAD?

[ChaelesBehhett]

Wise words from a great man.

[Delgranja]

Get mad!

[pikorar]

Lemons + Grenades = Lemonades.

[xChrisBoulterx]

@pikorar Brilliant, especially when considering that at the end of his speech he claims he's gonna get his engineers to invent a combustible lemon, therefore a lemonade, absolutely brilliant.

[PikKirby]

@pikorar

I love you.

[Kasia120612]

@pikorar COINCIDENT???!??!!? I Think Not!

[01Lagger]

I don't want lemons, I want pictures! Pictures of Spider-man!

[mkomkomkome]

lol i love this vid

[CaptainDynamite110]

@mkomkomkome You was the 1,337th comment. You are now leet.

[Shenty117]

When an archer shoots you in the knee, don't stop adventuring, get mad! I don't want your damn arrows, what am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see the archer's manager, make him rue the day he thought he could shoot you in the knee! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With a shout! I'll learn a shout the burns your house down!

[TheRof1copter]

@Shenty117 EPIC!!!

[DickHertz0]

@weegee123oncp its from skyrim.....

[Dean11link]

I WILL CALL IT THE NEW CAVE JOHNSON BRAND LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!!!!!

[Smak9000]

I used to watch people make lemon grenades, then I shot a guy in the knee with an arrow.

[Coldwatercavs01]

I used to make lemon grenades, then I took an arrow to the knee.

[weegee234oncp]

WHAT THE FUCK DOES ARROW TO THE KNEE MEAN????

[halohawks8859]

@weegee234oncp its from skyrim, look it up

[weegee234oncp]

@halohawks8859 I will

[Agmented]

When life gives you lemons, dont make lemonade make apple juice and watch people say "How the fuck he'd do that?!"

[peruboy42]

So what do you do with kumquats?

[Grandsnake1]

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCC­CCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­EEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????­???????

[TheMRbinkieboy]

what a nice man

[EtherealSun111]

When life gives you lemons, you take an arrow to the knee....

[MagoGabriel]

Thom yorke:"bitch please"

[Ziggist123]

how do u burn someones house down... with lemons?

[sonicfangamer2]

@Ziggist123 Lemon + grenade = Lemonade.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

[ThePlatoon4]

when life give you lemons, you make orange juice.

[optionen100]

When Youtube gives you a new Layout, dont make lemonade. Make life take the Layout back!

Get mad! I dont want your damn Layout, what am I supposed to do with these?

Demand to see life´s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give

Cave Johnson a new Layout! Do you know who I am? I´m the man who´s gonna burn your

Server down! With the Layout! I´m gonna get my engineers to invent a Combustable Layout that burns your Server down!

[cavrianer]

@optionen100 Now change it into facebook.

And write it down better.

[SupaSoap590]

@jasonkkarimi All three of them rule! :D

[red25888]

with the lemon... seriously?

[TheHaLoJeDi]

Cave Johnson: The only man I know who can get a potato to reach climax.

[zacksterful]

When life gives you Ponies, DON'T watch the show. Make Life take the Ponies back! Get mad! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN PONIES, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE??? Demand to see Life's Manager! Make Life RUE the day he thought he could give a Nerd Ponies. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?!? I'm the man Who's gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! With the PONIES! I'm gonna get my hater friends to make a Combustible Pony, that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN! *Coughs hystarically*

[KalleWerner]

Holy shit was has he been smoking?

[zacksterful]

Replace every "Lemon" with "Pony" and you've got my situation.

[jasonkkarimi]

@zacksterful Fact, 99.9% of things that are popular, are good, hence why they are popular, examples include lemon, TF2, and ponies

[Schlamp96]

@jasonkkarimi Is Justin Beiber good?

[jasonkkarimi]

@Schlamp96 thats the final .1 percent my good chap

[zacksterful]

@KalleWerner It was moondust Cave was smoking, my friend.

[barbermaskin]

and then life was changed. FOREVER!

[Rack44hoonmaster]

From The Taking of Pelham 123

[Rack44hoonmaster]

John Travolta style - "When life gets you fired from Wallstreet and you're sent to jail, don't look for another job. Make life remind itself they're your bitch! Get MAD! I don't want to start over when I get out of jail, what the hell am I supposed to do? Demand life to give you your fucking money you earned and when they don't, start killing the hostages on that subway train you highjacked! Do you know who I am? I'm the guy who's gonna burn your GODAMN FUCKING HOUSE DOWN, MOTHERFUCKERS!!

[supergirl9ish]

YEAH YEAH YEAH OH ILIKE THIS GUY LIKE BUTTON

[madpistol]

26 people died of asbestos poisoning

[shadowkid1993]

when god gives you lemons you FIND A NEW GOD!

[HammerNHook]

When bad guys give you arrows, don't stop being an adventurer! Get MAD! I don't want your damn arrows! what the hell are these?! Demand to see Skyrim's Manager! Make Skyrim Rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson arrows! Do you know who I am? I'm the guy who's going to burn your village down! With the ARROWS! i'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustable arrow that BURNS YOUR VILLAGE DOWN!

[michaelm0522]

25 peoples houses were burnt down...WITH THE LEMONS!

[PowerOptix]

Combustible lemons! Better than hand grenades.

[sonicrocks942]

Transcribe audio: Dominated laminated makes life. Also, Lemons P_I_O (LOLWUT?) or adult on the matter has been a barrier house down with the lab.

[Jadyn1112]

No, Cave. You don't make life take back the lemons.

YOU MAKE LIFE WATCH /watch?v=rMBpZ4mb-n8&feature=c­hannel_video_title

[phuturephunk]

Why thank you Dr. Emil Skoda!

[ps3freak44]

When life hits you in the knee with an arrow, don’t become a town guard. Shoot life back with the arrow! Get mad! I don’t want my darn dreams crushed, what the hell am I supposed to do then? I demand to see life’s thane! Make life rue the day it could shoot an adventurer with an arrow! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who will burn your village down! With an arrow! I’m going to get the mages to invent a combustible arrow that will burn your village down!

[Teeheehee093]

@ps3freak44 Don't be a fucking faggot. Copying the top comment. So sad :(

[weezing22arbok]

@ps3freak44 if you're going to copy a comment... PLEASE do NOT choose the top comment. Not only will it give you away, it also makes you look more stupid than someone who got shot in the knee with an arrow.

[aug325]

You can hear the voice actor trying not to laugh at the end of that line. XD

[Badgaldinger]

Cave Johnson-"Veni, Vidi, Facio Scientae."

[dwarvenater]

@Badgaldinger I came, I saw, I did science? Very nice, but you forgot the arrow to the knee.

[IlersichProductions]

@Badgaldinger deinde incendo.

[TheVGamer]

Ok, I want a combustible lemon as a weapon in HL3.

[jdawg0009]

@makiza01 omg lmfao xD

[Thedogwhomeows]

@makiza01 *claps*

[TheGlitch7]

@makiza01 *clap clap clap clap*

[Remerai]

@makiza01 I would clap, but then I took an arrow to the knee... A combustible arrow.

[eviltube1111]

@makiza01 Congratulations! You're unfunny joke commenter number 10,000,000!!! You win thumbs up from more than 30 faggots!

[KlipschWolf]

@eviltube1111 Congratulations! you're the infinity and oneth "faggot" fail troll!!!

You win thumbs down from ninety-nine one hundredths of the population of Youtube!

[poiuytrewqazxcvbnm09]

@makiza01 You just made my day. Bravo, good sir!

[mex1jvr]

@makiza01 please don't steal comments from other people... you lack originality. it was funny first time.. so come up with something of your own.

[TheYO064]

"I'm gonna get my engineers to create a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"

... a lemon-ade?

[OctaviaRavia]

@TheYO064 Lemon-nade

[jcchurch]

There's a tinge at the end of the audio where I believe J. K. Simmons is trying hard not to laugh.

[ZKY2]

@jcchurch There is also when he says "Do you know who I am?!"

[CetinTango]

Life without the lemons.

[Jadyn1112]

I don't get my lemons from life!

I get them at Kroger...

[GoodWhispers]

lolololol I've been laughing for 5 mins!

[warriorwolf777]

I was yelling this at gym, and when I started saying "when life gives you lemons.."

My friend replied: "Make orange juice :D"

I replied "I was thinking combustible lemons..but okay :>"

[MrPhazeTwo]

When Life gives you lemons, make lemonade, build a lemonade stand, profit. Thanks Life!

[Drokob]

When life gives you lemons, make orange juice. And leave life wondering how the fuck you did it.

[Agmented]

@Drokob ive actually said that before. just with apple juice XD

[insaninater]

you cut out the best part! its rare that you get to hear a robot in sexual extacy!

[nexusprime000]

I don't want your DAMN LEMONS! I want pictures of SPIDER MAN!

[KnighferDK]

I hear him laughing a little, from 29 til the end :D

[dash2k3]

@KnighferDK Actually, there is more to the audio clip where he breaks into a coughing fit.

[n00bz00rd]

Sooo, when life gives you lemons make a combustible lemon and burn life's manager's house down?

[MutatedKitty]

BURNING PEOPLE! HE SAYS WHAT WE'RE ALL THINKING!

[Thegreatwario383]

There should be a recolor of the Pyro's flare gun in TF2 that shoots combustible lemons. Thumbs up if you agree!

[SuperStewcat]

I don't want your damn lemons, I want spiderman!!!!!

[BlueFlashProductions]

I used part of this for my Senior Quote for my high school yearbook.

[iwannabepresident]

So he's gonna make lemon-nades?

[iBringDaLULZ]

@iwannabepresident bah-dum-tis!

[Thegreatwario383]

@iwannabepresident Win.

[CalebJaqua]

@iwannabepresident

Flawless. Fucking. Victory.

[CheckaFlicka2]

When Valve gives you Team Fortress 2 crates, don't take them. Make Valve take the crates back! Get MAD!! I don't want your damn crates!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?! Demand to see Gabe Newell! Make Valve rue the day they thought they could give [insertsteamnamehere] crates!! Do you know who I am?! I'm the man/woman who's gonna burn your house down!! WITH THE CRATES. I'm gonna get the Engineers to invent a combustible CRATE that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!

[demortis666]

If you listen carefully, you can hear him trying (and failing) to hide his laughter.

[Gizandjesss]

@demortis666 If you play Portal 2, you would know that he was ill at that point, and what you think was laughing was his coughing.

[demortis666]

@Gizandjesss Apparently, you've never been caught laughing at an inappropriate time.

[GoldenCobraa]

@demortis666 Apparently, you've never coughed whilst talking.

[demortis666]

@GoldenCobraa Oh for fucks sake, listen to the video at 0:29 and you'll hear Simmons crack up. He covers it up with a cough.

[GoldenCobraa]

@demortis666 And still you remain adamant that you're right. You're wrong. Ever heard of voice acting? They have to do about 1 line and repeat it lots until the producers get the perfect one. Do you really think they would just let him start laughing and release it into the actual game? No, it's the start of a little coughing fit.

@Go