Jeff Dunham Spark of Insanity Part 5/8

[grifyle456]

Achmed: OK I will not move my ass

Walter U idot u dount have an ass

lol XD

[tomfeltonsgirl11]

STOP TOUCHING MEEEEE!!!!! I. KILL. YOOUUUUUU!!!! XDDDD

[samsgirl99]

"A terrifying... terrorist."

"Okay. I wont move my ass." "You idiot! You don't have an ass!"

"Stop touching meeeeeee! "

[cocobeansprout1266]

Stop touching meeeee! I kiiiiilll yoooouuu!

[mithories]

I was putting gas in my car and I answered my cell phone. Hello- PSHHH...

[DanTheCaptain]

Achmed: what do you want me to do Knock Knock jokes?

Jeff: i'll probably be better.

Achmed: OK

Knock Knock!

Jeff: who's there?

Achmed: Me! I KILL YOU!

ANANANANANAN! my one and only fav Knock Knock joke! HEHE!

[smouticous]

" i know i can have clay aiken! " nah he aint a virgin but feel free to go for justin beiber :P

[Mattz511]

@smouticous um question, who would go for that little prick other than a blind homo o.o

[smouticous]

@Mattz511 well maybe achmed would, im tryin to get my man achmed some here dude he died for 70 virgins he deserved 1 :/

[carbon257]

Stop touching meeeee i killll youuuu

[TheTheballstoyou]

funny shit



[MentallyillOfficial]

god damat !oh imean alla damat!

[carbon257]

@MentallyillOfficial its allah dont offend a religion now thats not very fair poor dead terrorists

[silverowleyes71]

How do you spell it?

Uh, A-C-Flemck

[irkeninvaderzimfan]

its ok i took that verizon basterd wit me

[chrrycke04]

Dont think he wants to be Lindsay these days hahaha o_0

[crazyozzy30]

STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!!!!!!!SILENC IKILL YOU!!!!!!!!WHAT ARE YOU DOING ...HOLY CRAP IM IN THE AIR!!!!!!

[TheDarktornado]

How do you spell it? what? o.O

[neversaynever164]

I like this onem, I got your dvd coming to my place sometime soon, I like it lots.... I have it coming to me on blu ray

[shinydino]

he should do a routine with bubba j and sweet daddy dee.

"Oh, look! He's making a left turn!"

[KevlarNinja]

@TheJetixknight That was Walter? Sounded more like a cross between Bubba Jay and Sweet Daddy Dee.

[CATSrawsome123]

Good evening...infedel

[hoefty]

STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!!



[ryansrose17]

i can have clay aiken!

[popitmonful]

out of no where "You idiot you dont have an ass!"

[LoneSpark088]

"you dont let jews in your bars? you racist bastard!"

[Allhearts100]

3:04 look at Jeff's right hand

[Souleaterboy376]

@Allhearts100 its his left hand, but i saw

[kratos040200]

Lmfao

[foxdeamo]

im ashamed to admit this but mj jokes are still funny! xD

"im killing! so to speak.."xDDD

[snipesAndrew123]

If you look at the sheet metal behind the dead terrorist, it looks like the building remains of the World Trade Center just after the 9/11 attacks.

[sheltonle77]

Like if you can quote every line from this :)

[foxdeamo]

@sheltonle77 this is not facedick it called "thumbs up"

[MrTramul]

what you learn from that?

location location location!!

[dannynaylor352]

Anyone else notice achmeds left arm is broken?

[JustinBlottin]

"You're dead"

"No I'm not."

"But you're all bone"

"It's a flesh wound."

[dannimocha20]

achhmed is by far my favorite!! lol Silence! I KEEL U!!!!!!!!

[nightreader26]

"STOP TOUCHING ME!"

"I KILL YOU YOU!"

"OK I WON'T MOVE MY A**"

"YOU IDIOT! YOU DON'T HAVE AN A**!"

[4everchalek151]

are you my 72 virgins? i hope not! why? there are a bunch of ugly a** guys out there!!

[thebigfour13]

It's a flesh wound. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Even ventriloquists have seen it.

[LefteesAssassin]

2 people lost to MJ

[GreyJuggernaut]

I'm surprised no one commented on the Lindsay joke. Well allow me: Lose the beard and i'd definitely mistake you for Lindsay Lohan.

[lilmisscheesemonger]

the two dislikes are the priest that lost n the little boy :)

[10valk]

The 2 dislikes were from the 2 catholic priests who fought for the small boy!!!

[DatFeature]

@10valk an then lost to michel jackson

[harleyzheng]

u see the dislike bar?no?me neither.

[mytimeisnowish]

its ozama

[WildNaru7]

Was this Achmed's first appearance?

[sazmullium]

@WildNaru7 yes :3

[TheRaymond389]

@WildNaru7 -yes



[cboy607]

he has a broken arm

[KVfilms]

love the quality!

[ackbarfan5556]

SILENCE! I KEEL YOU!

[AnimeCutie9898]

Jeff: So, Acmed...

Achmed: No nono, its Achmed.

Jeff: Thats what I said?

Achmed: No you said Akmed, its Achmed! Ch ch! Ch ch ch!!! SILENCE! I KEEL YOU!!!

Jeff: How do y ou spell it?

Achmed: WUT?

Jeff: How do you spell your name?

Achmed: Oh well lets see ahh...A....C....phlemchhhhh!

[num1A7Xfanatic1219]

A.C.*plegm*...



[brokencydebeeotch17]

elllllllloooooooooooooo i am lindsey lohan !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :3

[HollyMonstaSoul]

its a flesh wound?

isn't that from Holy Grail?

[mannyortiz16]

@HollyMonstaSoul did you really just ask if that's a reference to monty python and the holy grail?

[Jediknight404]

STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!!! Lol

[arviagent13]

SILENCE....................I KILL YOU!!!

[topi625]

mister hurricane EH EH EH

[thesoftballfreak96]

Ahahaa , its a flesh wound !

[Patches0693]

Achmed: "Two Jews walk into a bar" Dunham: "no. . . no, no"

Achmed"What, what, you don't let Jews in your bar. You racist bastard!"

roflmao!!

[Thehunter525]

@Patches0693 dude he had just started that joke when i read this.

[Patches0693]

@Thehunter525 haha ironic. is that a good thing or a bad thing or neither it just is?

[marialee330]

I just got my flu shot!

[ZergOverlord9374]

"look at my ass, it says MADE IN CHINA"

[division301]

"Oh thats easy. They open the case and i say Helloooooo, I am Lindsy Lohan!"

[AidenSkittles]

"Location, location, location." Lmao! Achmed's the best!

[RuskyIsaac]

"I Need some ligaments!"

[Guyanesebr0z]

How do you spell it?

Whatt?!

[brightsparx100]

My ASS

Thats not a car- thats a lunchbox ! 

[8522801]

1 person drives a blue prius

[ishneakyShneaky]

hello! i am lindsey lohan hahaha lol

[DMP13ily]

When you're sick, keep saying achmed... It makes your throat feel better... XD

[CookieCat94]

it's just a flesh wound

[curlylego456]

How do you spell your name?

Let's see A - C - Phleghm . . . . SILENCE! I KILL YOU!

[DanceMoveQueen]

A terrifying...terroist. XD Lol, Jeff Dunham is awesome. =D

[nicoleabc171]

@SakuraReborn11 no is wasn't. It was location, location, location.

[SakuraReborn11]

@mouousileno @mnp4e

when achmed said that wasnt it look asian, look asian, look asian?

[mnp4e]

What does location, location means? i mean i know what a locatios is but this is meaning to an army reference isn´t it?

[mouousileno]

@mnp4e actually location, location, location is taken from the real estate business, where they use it to refer to the fact that a real estate property value is raised by it's location. So the golden rule is location, location,location

[Pokek1d]

slience i killlll you

[jamielynn156]

does anybody else realize Achmed's broken left arm? hah

[expertstrategy]

Achmed can't Dunham a "racist" since the Jews are a religious group and not a race. But hell, this is one funny piece of comedy.

[tdawgturner]

What does Achmed say at 6:47, Catholic priests he threw in a what?

[stonermanpigbird]

@tdawgturner a small boy

[TheMadjag]

the idiot tried to PRACTICE

[JackandSally4ever]

The one person who didn't like this was Clay akin

[ratarypa]

9:02 what did he say?

[jamielynn156]

@ratarypa achmed said" at first i thought it was because i went over my minutes"

[ritsfata]

It's the eyes that make Achmed's character for me.

[SnlpErlsNaStY]

(Quote from the video)

[jerstar8]

hahaha i told another joke i can do this crap to! XD

[GriffinBing]

"what was the last thing that went through your mind?"

"My ass"

ROFL

[GriffinBing]

god damnit. ooh, ooh. i mean, ala damnit

[XxMizukigurlxX93]

I'm killing so to speak!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[XxMizukigurlxX93]

It's a flesh wound! >_<

[Aglez14]

That's ok I took that verizon bastard with me lol halarious :D

[bridymint347]

you are so cool infadel

[bridymint347]

you are so cool in fadel

[haleyb1000]

jeff dunham: you really are dead

achmed: are you sure

jeff: yes

achmed:i just got my flu shot

rotflmao

[haleyb1000]

achmed: i will not move my ass

walter(fainnt voiced): you idiot you dont have an ass

[wraitherr]

"Knock knock, Who's there?, Me, I kill you!!"

[enkink13]

@insaneman987 oops nevermind, forget what I said... But the peanuts hair fell out once, and that's what I though you were referring to. Sorry, my bad

[enkink13]

@insaneman987

I think you mean peanut, not Melvin... But yeah, both times were hilarious!

[ThreeWishesTooMany]

"HEEELLLLOOOOOO. I AM LINDSEY LOHAN!"

[gaminggal717]

I KEEEL YOU!!!

[xofty]

did anyone noticed that jeff said dead people can talk?

"some people when they die they say they see a white light"

lol xD

[Disneyfan4ever100]

You know, my cousin told me this joke, and I may be telling it wrong but here goes;

A woman dies and is at the gates of heaven.

"You have been good. Your greatest wish will be granted."

She merely said "I just want all of the children of the world to be safe."

Next day, Micheal Jackson dies.

XD

[tdawgturner]

@Disneyfan4ever100 LOL!

[insaneman987]

jeff dunham can improvise really well with achmed's feet and melvin's hair

[insaneman987]

any 1 notice that achmed's right arm is messed up

[Leshelou112]

what kind of terrioist?

A terriorifing *pause* terrioist

SILENCE!

I kill you!

hilARious

[CrazyAirCadetBandie]

He has GAS XD

That sounds like my father XD

[leann895]

Jeff Dunham is so awesome!!

[Namite0001]

jeff: how do u spell ur name?

achmed: oh, lets see, uh, A, C, phlegm...

XDD

[Bambi30371]

achmed: we lookin for sum idiots with no future. Jeff: where do u get them? Achmed: scuicide hotline? lol

[alicecullenx2]

knock knock...who's there?...me! i kill u!!

[Disneyfan4ever100]

SILENCE!-------I KILL YOU! XD

[gbursley]

jeff dunhams awesome

[Sweenytodd38]

funney as hell !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SweeneyTodd98]

It's ok I took that Verizon bastard with me

[Ricaninbk]

what you dont let jews in your bar you racist bastard!

[Jonsymbiote]

LOL the idiot tried to practice!

[nightreader26]

@Jonsymbiote LOCATION lOCATION lOCATION!

[savannamarigold]

they shoudl have an act were peanut imitates everything jeff says:) tht would be funnyXD

[deathdueuspart1]

silence I keel you

[goldwing1966]

what the hell happened to my feet

[2210Styles]

its not funny he will kill us

[redsoxbaddog]

Knock

Knock

Whos there

Me I Kill You

lol

[GodofWar717]

It's a flesh wound.

Another good one:

Achmed: I was getting gasoline and I answered my cell phone. "Can you hear me now?" (explosion noise) At first I thought I had went over my minutes. Jeff: That's too bad. Achmed: That's okay I took that Verizon bastard with me.

[dstebbin]

Hey, I just thought of something.

What if Achmed and Peanut were to switch bodies? Like, Jeff creates a wizard puppet to cash in on the Harry Potter craze, and that puppet makes them switch bodies!

[savannamarigold]

tht is a fun idea! and if he made a vampire and werewolf for twilight:)

[dstebbin]

I never read Twilight.

But, going off hearsay, I'd say it's just a blatant Harry Potter ripoff.

[dizzypunk]

naw just a book about a girl who wants a shag

[shadowfan94omg]

STOP TOUCHING MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

[djlamar2]

Achmed: O.K I will not move my ass. Walter: you idiot you don't have an ass. Achmed: is that Walter. Jeff: yeah. Achmed: he scares the crap out of me. Sadam's mustard is nothing compared to a Walter fart. its not funny. he will kill us. lol.

[missspagetie]

@djlamar2 master bomb

[Patches0693]

@djlamar2 it's acctually sadam's mustard GAS

[djlamar2]

no but i saw a blue prius. lol. arguing with myself it was the lotion now its a Prius. lol.

[djlamar2]

good evening Achmed. Achmed: good evening. infidel. *people start laughing* silence I kill you.