my name is patrick, and i have exactly the same problem as u, u had a varicocele right? i went and actually got the surgery for it, and it imporved dramatically, thank god for technology, all i can say is stay strong, and things get better.
Thank you for sharing your video with the world.. I am infertile and we have been ttc for 15yrs with no success. I am now coming to term with the fact that I may never be a mother.. it is heartbreaking
Thank you for sharing your video with the world.. I am infertile and we have been ttc for 15yrs with no success. I am now coming to term with the fact that I may never be a mother.. it is heartbreaking
I just happened to stumble upon your video and so glad I did. My husband and I just had his second analysis done and he came back azoospermic (meaning no sperm at all) he had cancer as a child and we are thinking that may be the cause he is having a VERY difficult time and refuses to move forward I'm hoping your videos will help him see that he is not alone. I wish more men would come out and talk about their infertility. Thank you and PLEASE kee us updated!!!
i am grateful to have found your videos...i actually discovered them a while ago, but was reminded of this one in particular in light of what happened with me and my wife today. after over 5 years of trying to conceive, we were blessed with a positive pregnancy test for the very first time. this happened literally as we were about to begin IVF, but we were blessed with a pregnancy on our own without help. very sadly, we lost the baby today at just over 5 weeks...the pain is almost unbearable.
@handsomerube I am so sorry for this latest installment in your pain. When our first cycle seemed to have caught, we were overjoyed. They told us it was a good sign, that she could become pregnant. But I know that must seem a hollow victory. My best wishes to you and I hope that your journey ends with joy.
Fertility is not the big secret, infertility is. Pregnancy commercials and birth control pill commericals and stuff are always all over the television, but infertility is hardly ever discussed. I understand your pain. I too am infertile. My DH and I have been trying for 2 years to conceive, without success. I truely hope you and your wife will become pregnant soon. Miracles happen every day, good luck
Fertility is not the big secret, infertility is. Pregnancy commercials and birth control pill commericals and stuff are always all over the television, but infertility is hardly ever discussed. I understand your pain. I too am infertile. My DH and I have been trying for 2 years to conceive, without success. I truely hope you and your wife will become pregnant soon. Miracles happen every day, good luck.
@sunkissedangeluv Yes. Our society constantly pushes birth control and thinks every woman should either not have children, or only have one or two. Women (and men) are told constantly to "wait". Wait till you finish college, then grad school, then wait till you get your career going......its ridiculous. People should be told the truth: have children when you are young, because when you are older, its very hard. Career is not the most important thing.
I feel your pain. Fertility isn't the deep down secret, infertility is. I have unexplained infertility and know what you are going through. Miracles happen everyday. I hope you and your wife are able to conceive one day.
Thank you for sharing this. It made me cry. I rarely allow myself to think about the pain of this, because I've told myself so many things- maybe I wouldn't be a good parent, oh I never really wanted kids anyway. Though I'm unsure it's still painful to have the decision already made for you.
Thank you for sharing this. It made me cry. I rarely allow myself to think about the pain of this, because I've told myself so many things- maybe I wouldn't be a good parent, oh I never really wanted kids anyway. Though I'm unsure it's still painful to have the decision already made for you.
@sweetgingertea It is very difficult to find oneself outside of the cycle of family without a choice in the matter. It erodes enjoyment of all, friends, family and marriage.
Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I have been battling unexplained infertility for over 10 yrs now and so we understand the pain of it all too well. More oft than not it's the women who are so broken over fertility issues, I had thought my hubby alone in his grief as not many men vocalize their pain where this issue is concerned, so it was especially comforting to my husband & I to see that it does greatly effect other men as well, so thank you again for sharing.
@hollyspry Each human is a universe of sensation. We share pain even when it doesn't form itself into words. I am sorry we share this pain, but I thank you for writing.
The journey through infertility never ends. My ex husband walked out on me after 9 years of trying to concieve--drugs, tests=bloodwork, surgeries, doctors, doctors, doctors...and had a child with a new wife. I am still infertile. It hurts more than anything in the world. And I am sick of people who, upon your telling them you have never been able to have children, say. OH I had five!! Pinheads. I have had a hysterectomy==that was 13 years ago.
@rrmjvand I cannot express how sorry I am that you have suffered as you have. I wish I had the words of comfort to give some meaning to that suffering. If, in the end, we are left without children, I hope that we can find a way to find the success of other couples less painful.
thank you for sharing your feelings. My hub and I have been trying for almost 2 years. I cary almost everyday. I understand how you feel. Its worse when people who have kids avoid you as though you are a plague.
@iyawodara It is hard to know how to handle other families. I see our friends and relatives cruising by to second and third children. They have every right to their rueful gripes about the challenges of child-raising. But it burns.
I too know your pain. It's been over 4 years since I became aware of my truth and it still hurts, it is so diffucult to heal the wound, it feels like i have been put in front of the controls of a 747 and I do not know how too fly a plane! Navigating toward healing has been almost impossible for me. Thank you for having the courage to share this. Infertility is such a silent suffering. Peace to you brother :0)
@jomommie Good luck! I am sorry you have to walk this path. We are given no guidance. We find our own wisdom. But through this journey, we grow and find new balance. New empathy. We are more human. Take care and my best to you.
I hope that the fertility treatments bring you a blessing and I wish you all the strength and comfort that you need as you go through the process. Please take care of yourself.
I know that you feel less like a woman just as so many above do. Just as I feel like less of a man. I wish I had a simple answer to this. I feel so angry sometimes. When so many overlook the incredible blessing that their children is, I get so frustrated. But I still hope. Thank you.
i also am infertilie. it is all i think about. we are currently doing fertility treatments now and have spent alot. it hurts to see people pregnant and i cannot feel happy for them. i feel defective, i feel like less of a woman like jamiedcc24 said. it cuts you to the core. thank for sharing our video with us! i hope we are all blessed with our miracles soon. either through adoption, fostering or fertility treatments. good luck!
i understand how you feel. it makes me feel good to know that men also feel this way about this matter. everyday i feel like "less than a woman" because i cannot preform the most basic biological function i was put on this earth for, to bare a child. it is defiantly a rippling effect that carries over to many parts of your life. i hope someday i can come to grips with this diagnosis as you have and be as strong as to just... move on. again thank you for sharing this with the youtube community.
Thank you for writing to me. Finding people who also endure this ache has been a bittersweet gift. Bitter that we share pain, but glad that there are those willing to share and support each other. We are more than our biological functions, but yes, this does live at the center of my being. I think the ability to find peace will be in a commitment to be useful to others. But it is hard not to succumb to this.
Dear Caliban, may God bless you with children if he will or comfort you instead. You have a very mature attitude on life and you are a humble and precious soul. Peace and love to you
I am sorry to hear that you're upset about this. You could give your infertility to me if you want, I think that having children is disgusting, not a miracle. I would be proud to be infertile if I was, so I can't fully comprehend how you must feel. But I hopw that, in some way a proper justification against childbirth might make you feel better. There is little I can do that would make me feel more guilty than having a child.
I do understand if you have trouble understanding how I feel. I do understand that for some, wanting to bring a child into the world is incomprehensible. I wish to take part in the growth of a little mind. I wish to show a child the world and the soil and the clouds and the caterpillars and the stars. I wish to hold and protect a tiny part of myself and my wife, a blessing given flesh. I have seen extraordinary moments in the process of life and it is beautiful.
I'm glad you took that well, because on reflection I don't think I should have left that comment there... in a way.
My love goes to the unfortunate children who've been shoved into the world by two chavs who forgot to wear a condomn. The ones who really are in need of a parent or they will just turn into animals themselves.
My family say I have a natural ability with children :D
You will be someone's beloved daddy sometime.. It will arrive one way or another, biological, adopted or foster parent. Know that child is yours. I understand too well the hollow feeling of not having a child. A child desperately wanted.
I think it is beautiful! I am so sorry and understand what you are going through, ttc 19 months here with unexplained infertility. I wish you healing and more blessings in your life!
I felt this pain. But time does heal. And sometimes we grow, and sometimes we do not. But I hope that your story ends well and that the path you take does not cause pain that you cannot bear.
thanks very much for sharing this with all of us. i have just realised how lucky we are to have kids. wish you and your wife the best of luck and a happy life together.
just wanted ...to say ..i hope this never happens to me..dude ..i watched all your pre post n up till this video..just now..im sorry ...im crying..im afraid..but your a great inspiration...thank you so much for sharing......it takes shit load of guts man,.
..i was confirmed of having varicocele, at the age of 15..now im 22 , in my finals for being a dentist ..i have a girlfriend, been together for bout three years now...n she loves...as in LOVEs kids....n i havent told her bout my condition.......firstly im not confirmed if it causes infertility..secondly i love her to death...n having a kid is like her sweetest dream.....n...ive been fuqed up in my mind lately ..n today i made my mind bout sneakin up to the hospital n get my surgery..
I am so sorry I had not replied to this. I hope that your surgery went well. But remember, this does not necessarily cause infertility. The test your take to find out how your sperm count is, is not exactly....invasive. And thankfully, not too expensive.
dont worry they say that even a man that is proven to be infirtile can still have babys, take this one man he was tol he would never have children and when he had surgery 10 years later they found out that there were some healthy sperm hiding in there and they implanted his wife with them and she got pregnant after 10 years of trying with no sucsess one little sugery gave them there angel so dont give up, i also have been trying, for three years and im only 21, good luck my friend.
Thank you for this. Really, the way my story has gone is as amazing as the one you have related above. The technology and skill that let us have viable embryos waiting for us is amazing.
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Infertility turns some women in to evil beasts. They wish death on the fertile...they become seriously demented in the head! My parents couldn't afford to pay for my education, but that didn't make me want to bomb colleges!
I don't feel sorry for you guys. People go through MUCH worse and don't cry about it. You were/are probably blessed in other areas of your lives-ways in which some people could only dream about. So be happy about all your blessings. We can't have everything we want. That's life.
I did mention quite clearly in this very post that I am very blessed in many ways. I live in safety, I am not hungry, etc. I also mention either here or somewhere else that I feel conflicted about feeling as disappointed as I did here given those blessings. That said, the cry of the childless has resonated throughout history as an unpleasant fate. Finally, yes it may be life, but life can be enriched by seeking out those living the same story such as the fantastic people I have met here.
And yet if you were faced with the same predicament, the same circumstance, I'm sure your opinion would be drastically altered. That is what's so sad about our current western society -- it only really matters if it affects YOU personally.
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BOOOO FUCKING HOOOO why don't you losers adopt a kid instead of bringing another person into the world that can feel pain and suffer so he or she can experience the good in the world that wouldn't matter if he or she never existed? Though I doubt your intentions are that selfless - you want to create a sentient being for your own SELFISH enjoyment. I'm glad you thoughtless faggots are sterile, LOL. Keep crying and praying maybe God will help you haha you morons are so pathetic!
There are those who find so little real stimulation in their lives that pouring salt in wounds provides a welcome distraction. They are usually safely ignored. But the SELFISH arguement is an important one.
I believe that my wife and I would help raise an individual who would have something worthwhile to share with the world. There have to be some parents out there who value empathy and kindness else all we will be left with are characters such as one who left this comment.
We tried several years with no luck. We finally did donor egg IVF and I am now 6 mos. pregnant. I realize this is not something everyone wants to do, or can afford to do, but its a very workable option that has good success rates.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! May you continue in health and beauty.
For us, the problem lies with me, so an egg donor isn't something we would have to consider. But certainly, for those women unable to ovulate this is a remarkable development.
I very much empathsize with your situation. The doctors tell me my count is good, but my wife has a bunch of problems. Either way, there are no children here, and it's incredibly painful. I have to admit I feel like such a loser. Why does the world have so many people who can reproduce so easily, yet they abuse their children while loving people can't reproduce? It's very much unfair and a backward world we live in. Sorry, had to vent.
Fairness is not in environment we inhabit but only in the choices we make.
It does make you grind your teeth to hear about abusive parents or negligent parents or parents who just don't realize how lucky they are to be given the opportunity to raise a child. If nothing else, let the passion from this experience help you to be a better parent.
Asking a person with fertility problems why they don't just adopt, is very insensitive, hurtful, and shows that you really know nothing of them problem.
what about adoption? There are many children who deserve a 2nd chance I realise some people feel they wouldn't love a child as much if it were not produced by their own body but is a narcissistic desire to produce a genetic mini-me of yourself a good motive behind parenthood? If you desire to raise a child, nurture, educate, support and help them grow into a happy adult does it matter whose body they came from? 'Passing on the family line' is more about passing on wisdom, values than genetics. x
Not everyone can adopt. In some states you can't have ever had a divorce. In some states you must be married for so many years. Most places require a HUGE amount of money that insurance does not cover. You might as well expect someone to come up with the cost of 2 or 3 cars cash upfront. Some places you have to be a certain age. Both partners have to agree and they don't always want the same things. There would be a LOT more children with homes if it wasn't so darn hard and expensive to adopt.
I'd be a bit more careful if I were you before bludgeoning someone like this. If our options do close, then of course we will consider adoption. However, there is nothing simple about that process and it will take years. As for the narcissistic desire to have a child of our own, if you have a magic solution to deprogramming millions of years of evolutionary incentive to procreate, I'd love to hear it.
Have YOU adopted any children? If not, don't lecture other people about it and calling them "narcissists". Do you even know how difficult it is to adopt? I know a couple who has spent 3 years waiting on an adoption list and spent $35,000 and still do not have their child.
Yep, I'm pretty sure you never adopted any of those needy children you talk about, because if you had, you'd know damn well how hard adoption is and how long it can take.
I'm so sorry... my husband and i have been struggling for a bout a year almost with trying to get pregnant, and I hope and pray I will never find out I'm infertile ever!!
I am glad that you are choosing to see the positive from this situation.
Our road is longer than we might like, but hopefully it will end well. I hope that your own journey leads you to a child soon. One word of advice, do not let fears of a diagnosis of infertility keep you from getting examined. Medicine has come a long way in a very short while and there is much that can be done to help infertile couples.
Thanx. I'd rather know asap, than find out later you know? My doctor and I are presently trying to figure out if I'm even ovulating by doing a 3 month temperature log, and other things as well. So far my temps are CRAZY compared to normals lol. Oh wells.
I completely feel your pain. It hurts watching so many take for granted the one thing you would give anything to have. No matter how much you have to be grateful for, nothing can take the place of a much wanted child.
Thank you. I hear that there are more and more of us every year. This frightens me. I hope that we are not the first wave of a growing community that cannot continue themselves into future generations. I hope that this becomes a priority for the medical profession.
Thank you. If that becomes the only option, of course we will explore it. I want to be able make a home for a child, and I want my wife to have the opportunity to be a mother. However, as I noted in a later video, I may have some options that I didn't realize were available. I'm having surgery in a few days and then we'll see.
Listen, if you're interested - otherwise ignore me - I'm running the International Infertility Film Festival for those who want to make short films/videos about their experiences. We had some great entries last time, but you really come through the screen there somehow, so it would be great if you did put something together. This time we have a theme - "Seasons" (can be interpreted as loosely as you like).
This sounds fantastic and I'm honoured that you would ask. I will have a look at the site this evening and give this some serious thought. Tentatively, I would very much like to participate, but I'll make that commitment as soon as I have a look at what is involved. Thanks.
I think you would be able to participate easily. You can make something new, or edit some of your present footage. (I see snow... I'm sure there's a connection to be made...) Or both - a couple of people entered twice last time. Anyway - have a look and see what you think. If you'd like to participate, leave a comment at the site.
I can relate too. Been trying for 3 years now. I can say that the pain does become bearable at some point, but yes, it is one of the most painful human experiences. It's the potential death of a dream, purpose, and meaning in life. Even though society doesn't acknowledge it, the loss is very real and needs to be grieved. I hope the best for you and encourage you to take one day at a time.
Thank you. I really appreciate you sharing this with me. I think one of the hardest things is the sense of isolation. So few people are willing to talk about it or they brush it aside in a gust of machismo.
I am very sorry for your problems, I too am sterile - though permanently. I hope you are eventually able to father a child.
MorgTMZ 3 months ago
what happened what is wrong. I will pray for you. God will give you a child. Sometimes mericles happen. Pray and God will give you.
Noosa1978 6 months ago
my name is patrick, and i have exactly the same problem as u, u had a varicocele right? i went and actually got the surgery for it, and it imporved dramatically, thank god for technology, all i can say is stay strong, and things get better.
petwalk123 9 months ago
I am so sorry for your pain. I can feel it.
darepow 1 year ago
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Thanks for publishing and posting this video clip on Youtube, there is some great material here.
pregnancymiracles1 1 year ago
Thank you for sharing your video with the world.. I am infertile and we have been ttc for 15yrs with no success. I am now coming to term with the fact that I may never be a mother.. it is heartbreaking
ispitefire 1 year ago
Thank you for sharing your video with the world.. I am infertile and we have been ttc for 15yrs with no success. I am now coming to term with the fact that I may never be a mother.. it is heartbreaking
ispitefire 1 year ago
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xxluvmyfiremanxx 1 year ago
I just happened to stumble upon your video and so glad I did. My husband and I just had his second analysis done and he came back azoospermic (meaning no sperm at all) he had cancer as a child and we are thinking that may be the cause he is having a VERY difficult time and refuses to move forward I'm hoping your videos will help him see that he is not alone. I wish more men would come out and talk about their infertility. Thank you and PLEASE kee us updated!!!
xxluvmyfiremanxx 1 year ago
i am grateful to have found your videos...i actually discovered them a while ago, but was reminded of this one in particular in light of what happened with me and my wife today. after over 5 years of trying to conceive, we were blessed with a positive pregnancy test for the very first time. this happened literally as we were about to begin IVF, but we were blessed with a pregnancy on our own without help. very sadly, we lost the baby today at just over 5 weeks...the pain is almost unbearable.
handsomerube 1 year ago
@handsomerube I am so sorry for this latest installment in your pain. When our first cycle seemed to have caught, we were overjoyed. They told us it was a good sign, that she could become pregnant. But I know that must seem a hollow victory. My best wishes to you and I hope that your journey ends with joy.
Caliban018 1 year ago
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Fertility is not the big secret, infertility is. Pregnancy commercials and birth control pill commericals and stuff are always all over the television, but infertility is hardly ever discussed. I understand your pain. I too am infertile. My DH and I have been trying for 2 years to conceive, without success. I truely hope you and your wife will become pregnant soon. Miracles happen every day, good luck
sunkissedangeluv 1 year ago
Fertility is not the big secret, infertility is. Pregnancy commercials and birth control pill commericals and stuff are always all over the television, but infertility is hardly ever discussed. I understand your pain. I too am infertile. My DH and I have been trying for 2 years to conceive, without success. I truely hope you and your wife will become pregnant soon. Miracles happen every day, good luck.
sunkissedangeluv 1 year ago
@sunkissedangeluv Yes. Our society constantly pushes birth control and thinks every woman should either not have children, or only have one or two. Women (and men) are told constantly to "wait". Wait till you finish college, then grad school, then wait till you get your career going......its ridiculous. People should be told the truth: have children when you are young, because when you are older, its very hard. Career is not the most important thing.
nomorefunds 1 year ago
I feel your pain. Fertility isn't the deep down secret, infertility is. I have unexplained infertility and know what you are going through. Miracles happen everyday. I hope you and your wife are able to conceive one day.
sunkissedangeluv 1 year ago
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Thank you for sharing this. It made me cry. I rarely allow myself to think about the pain of this, because I've told myself so many things- maybe I wouldn't be a good parent, oh I never really wanted kids anyway. Though I'm unsure it's still painful to have the decision already made for you.
sweetgingertea 1 year ago
Thank you for sharing this. It made me cry. I rarely allow myself to think about the pain of this, because I've told myself so many things- maybe I wouldn't be a good parent, oh I never really wanted kids anyway. Though I'm unsure it's still painful to have the decision already made for you.
sweetgingertea 1 year ago
@sweetgingertea It is very difficult to find oneself outside of the cycle of family without a choice in the matter. It erodes enjoyment of all, friends, family and marriage.
Caliban018 1 year ago
Thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I have been battling unexplained infertility for over 10 yrs now and so we understand the pain of it all too well. More oft than not it's the women who are so broken over fertility issues, I had thought my hubby alone in his grief as not many men vocalize their pain where this issue is concerned, so it was especially comforting to my husband & I to see that it does greatly effect other men as well, so thank you again for sharing.
hollyspry 1 year ago
@hollyspry Each human is a universe of sensation. We share pain even when it doesn't form itself into words. I am sorry we share this pain, but I thank you for writing.
Caliban018 1 year ago
The journey through infertility never ends. My ex husband walked out on me after 9 years of trying to concieve--drugs, tests=bloodwork, surgeries, doctors, doctors, doctors...and had a child with a new wife. I am still infertile. It hurts more than anything in the world. And I am sick of people who, upon your telling them you have never been able to have children, say. OH I had five!! Pinheads. I have had a hysterectomy==that was 13 years ago.
rrmjvand 2 years ago
@rrmjvand I cannot express how sorry I am that you have suffered as you have. I wish I had the words of comfort to give some meaning to that suffering. If, in the end, we are left without children, I hope that we can find a way to find the success of other couples less painful.
Caliban018 2 years ago
thank you for sharing your feelings. My hub and I have been trying for almost 2 years. I cary almost everyday. I understand how you feel. Its worse when people who have kids avoid you as though you are a plague.
iyawodara 2 years ago
@iyawodara It is hard to know how to handle other families. I see our friends and relatives cruising by to second and third children. They have every right to their rueful gripes about the challenges of child-raising. But it burns.
Caliban018 2 years ago
I too know your pain. It's been over 4 years since I became aware of my truth and it still hurts, it is so diffucult to heal the wound, it feels like i have been put in front of the controls of a 747 and I do not know how too fly a plane! Navigating toward healing has been almost impossible for me. Thank you for having the courage to share this. Infertility is such a silent suffering. Peace to you brother :0)
jomommie 2 years ago
@jomommie Good luck! I am sorry you have to walk this path. We are given no guidance. We find our own wisdom. But through this journey, we grow and find new balance. New empathy. We are more human. Take care and my best to you.
Caliban018 2 years ago
im hurt 2:( i wana have kids. ull be in my prayers
Jyca53 2 years ago
I hope that the fertility treatments bring you a blessing and I wish you all the strength and comfort that you need as you go through the process. Please take care of yourself.
I know that you feel less like a woman just as so many above do. Just as I feel like less of a man. I wish I had a simple answer to this. I feel so angry sometimes. When so many overlook the incredible blessing that their children is, I get so frustrated. But I still hope. Thank you.
Caliban018 2 years ago
i also am infertilie. it is all i think about. we are currently doing fertility treatments now and have spent alot. it hurts to see people pregnant and i cannot feel happy for them. i feel defective, i feel like less of a woman like jamiedcc24 said. it cuts you to the core. thank for sharing our video with us! i hope we are all blessed with our miracles soon. either through adoption, fostering or fertility treatments. good luck!
TurtleButterfly 2 years ago
i understand how you feel. it makes me feel good to know that men also feel this way about this matter. everyday i feel like "less than a woman" because i cannot preform the most basic biological function i was put on this earth for, to bare a child. it is defiantly a rippling effect that carries over to many parts of your life. i hope someday i can come to grips with this diagnosis as you have and be as strong as to just... move on. again thank you for sharing this with the youtube community.
jamiedcc24 2 years ago
Thank you for writing to me. Finding people who also endure this ache has been a bittersweet gift. Bitter that we share pain, but glad that there are those willing to share and support each other. We are more than our biological functions, but yes, this does live at the center of my being. I think the ability to find peace will be in a commitment to be useful to others. But it is hard not to succumb to this.
Caliban018 2 years ago
Dear Caliban, may God bless you with children if he will or comfort you instead. You have a very mature attitude on life and you are a humble and precious soul. Peace and love to you
- Serena, a passing "you tube-er"
SerenaSarah 2 years ago
Thank you for this. I hope that we are so blessed. We find our own comfort, but we also find comfort in our friends. Thank you for your kind wishes.
Caliban018 2 years ago
god bless you and im sue you will have children god can help i promise it worked for eveyone i know
1chola4lyfe 2 years ago
I am honored to accept your blessing. Thank you.
Caliban018 2 years ago
I am sorry to hear that you're upset about this. You could give your infertility to me if you want, I think that having children is disgusting, not a miracle. I would be proud to be infertile if I was, so I can't fully comprehend how you must feel. But I hopw that, in some way a proper justification against childbirth might make you feel better. There is little I can do that would make me feel more guilty than having a child.
ThisIsRysta 2 years ago
I do understand if you have trouble understanding how I feel. I do understand that for some, wanting to bring a child into the world is incomprehensible. I wish to take part in the growth of a little mind. I wish to show a child the world and the soil and the clouds and the caterpillars and the stars. I wish to hold and protect a tiny part of myself and my wife, a blessing given flesh. I have seen extraordinary moments in the process of life and it is beautiful.
Caliban018 2 years ago
I'm glad you took that well, because on reflection I don't think I should have left that comment there... in a way.
My love goes to the unfortunate children who've been shoved into the world by two chavs who forgot to wear a condomn. The ones who really are in need of a parent or they will just turn into animals themselves.
My family say I have a natural ability with children :D
ThisIsRysta 2 years ago
You are so kind for saying this. I hope that you are right. And I hope that hollow feeling is filled for you soon.
Caliban018 2 years ago
You will be someone's beloved daddy sometime.. It will arrive one way or another, biological, adopted or foster parent. Know that child is yours. I understand too well the hollow feeling of not having a child. A child desperately wanted.
entity9333 2 years ago
I think it is beautiful! I am so sorry and understand what you are going through, ttc 19 months here with unexplained infertility. I wish you healing and more blessings in your life!
prtykty21 3 years ago
I felt this pain. But time does heal. And sometimes we grow, and sometimes we do not. But I hope that your story ends well and that the path you take does not cause pain that you cannot bear.
Caliban018 3 years ago
all children in the world,except billion airs, should be nuetered
creten69 3 years ago
All children in the world should blossom and grow beautiful in safety.
Caliban018 3 years ago
thanks very much for sharing this with all of us. i have just realised how lucky we are to have kids. wish you and your wife the best of luck and a happy life together.
NUMBER1PAKHTOON 3 years ago
Your kids are yourselves but younger. May you always find joy in each others company. Thank you so much for your well wishes.
Caliban018 3 years ago
just wanted ...to say ..i hope this never happens to me..dude ..i watched all your pre post n up till this video..just now..im sorry ...im crying..im afraid..but your a great inspiration...thank you so much for sharing......it takes shit load of guts man,.
sulemancb 3 years ago
Thank you. I have drawn so much comfort from those who have followed this story.
Caliban018 3 years ago
..i was confirmed of having varicocele, at the age of 15..now im 22 , in my finals for being a dentist ..i have a girlfriend, been together for bout three years now...n she loves...as in LOVEs kids....n i havent told her bout my condition.......firstly im not confirmed if it causes infertility..secondly i love her to death...n having a kid is like her sweetest dream.....n...ive been fuqed up in my mind lately ..n today i made my mind bout sneakin up to the hospital n get my surgery..
sulemancb 3 years ago
I am so sorry I had not replied to this. I hope that your surgery went well. But remember, this does not necessarily cause infertility. The test your take to find out how your sperm count is, is not exactly....invasive. And thankfully, not too expensive.
Caliban018 3 years ago
dont worry they say that even a man that is proven to be infirtile can still have babys, take this one man he was tol he would never have children and when he had surgery 10 years later they found out that there were some healthy sperm hiding in there and they implanted his wife with them and she got pregnant after 10 years of trying with no sucsess one little sugery gave them there angel so dont give up, i also have been trying, for three years and im only 21, good luck my friend.
sheenacoll08 3 years ago
Thank you for this. Really, the way my story has gone is as amazing as the one you have related above. The technology and skill that let us have viable embryos waiting for us is amazing.
Caliban018 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Infertility turns some women in to evil beasts. They wish death on the fertile...they become seriously demented in the head! My parents couldn't afford to pay for my education, but that didn't make me want to bomb colleges!
Winter077 3 years ago
Thanks so much for watching. While I can't say I'm happy about the events that draw us together, I'm glad you are sharing this journey with me.
Caliban018 3 years ago
I wish you and your wife good luck for the future. Thank you for sharing this video.
Bolletaz 3 years ago
Thank you so much for watching. I hope this turns out well.
Caliban018 3 years ago
I don't feel sorry for you guys. People go through MUCH worse and don't cry about it. You were/are probably blessed in other areas of your lives-ways in which some people could only dream about. So be happy about all your blessings. We can't have everything we want. That's life.
Winter077 3 years ago
I did mention quite clearly in this very post that I am very blessed in many ways. I live in safety, I am not hungry, etc. I also mention either here or somewhere else that I feel conflicted about feeling as disappointed as I did here given those blessings. That said, the cry of the childless has resonated throughout history as an unpleasant fate. Finally, yes it may be life, but life can be enriched by seeking out those living the same story such as the fantastic people I have met here.
Caliban018 3 years ago
And yet if you were faced with the same predicament, the same circumstance, I'm sure your opinion would be drastically altered. That is what's so sad about our current western society -- it only really matters if it affects YOU personally.
shadelings 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I was faced with it and she became so jealous of my pregnancy that she tried to poison me!
Winter077 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
BOOOO FUCKING HOOOO why don't you losers adopt a kid instead of bringing another person into the world that can feel pain and suffer so he or she can experience the good in the world that wouldn't matter if he or she never existed? Though I doubt your intentions are that selfless - you want to create a sentient being for your own SELFISH enjoyment. I'm glad you thoughtless faggots are sterile, LOL. Keep crying and praying maybe God will help you haha you morons are so pathetic!
installcd 3 years ago
You are a disturbed individual. Please find a therapist in your local area and get the help you so desperately need.
shadelings 3 years ago
My previous comment was directed at installcd, btw. Why anyone could find such pleasure in the pain of others is truly beyond me.
shadelings 3 years ago
There are those who find so little real stimulation in their lives that pouring salt in wounds provides a welcome distraction. They are usually safely ignored. But the SELFISH arguement is an important one.
I believe that my wife and I would help raise an individual who would have something worthwhile to share with the world. There have to be some parents out there who value empathy and kindness else all we will be left with are characters such as one who left this comment.
Caliban018 3 years ago
Why don't YOU share something worthwhile with the world? Why put all the pressure on somebody else?
installcd 3 years ago
We tried several years with no luck. We finally did donor egg IVF and I am now 6 mos. pregnant. I realize this is not something everyone wants to do, or can afford to do, but its a very workable option that has good success rates.
vanillapie 3 years ago
Congratulations on your pregnancy! May you continue in health and beauty.
For us, the problem lies with me, so an egg donor isn't something we would have to consider. But certainly, for those women unable to ovulate this is a remarkable development.
Caliban018 3 years ago
I very much empathsize with your situation. The doctors tell me my count is good, but my wife has a bunch of problems. Either way, there are no children here, and it's incredibly painful. I have to admit I feel like such a loser. Why does the world have so many people who can reproduce so easily, yet they abuse their children while loving people can't reproduce? It's very much unfair and a backward world we live in. Sorry, had to vent.
filmmaker24 3 years ago 2
Fairness is not in environment we inhabit but only in the choices we make.
It does make you grind your teeth to hear about abusive parents or negligent parents or parents who just don't realize how lucky they are to be given the opportunity to raise a child. If nothing else, let the passion from this experience help you to be a better parent.
Caliban018 3 years ago
As for the video, I'm really very sorry. *hugs* My husband and I can relate. We have tried for 10 years.
KasiAda 3 years ago
It is such a difficult path. I hope that it has not overshadowed your other accomplishments and your marriage.
AtlasDemolition 3 years ago
Whooops...sorry the AtlasDemolition person is me....didn't logout.
Caliban018 3 years ago
Asking a person with fertility problems why they don't just adopt, is very insensitive, hurtful, and shows that you really know nothing of them problem.
KasiAda 3 years ago
Pray, that's the best advice that I can give you, there are miracles you just have to belive in them.
almarodriguez 3 years ago
what about adoption? There are many children who deserve a 2nd chance I realise some people feel they wouldn't love a child as much if it were not produced by their own body but is a narcissistic desire to produce a genetic mini-me of yourself a good motive behind parenthood? If you desire to raise a child, nurture, educate, support and help them grow into a happy adult does it matter whose body they came from? 'Passing on the family line' is more about passing on wisdom, values than genetics. x
cornishwitchcraft 3 years ago
Not everyone can adopt. In some states you can't have ever had a divorce. In some states you must be married for so many years. Most places require a HUGE amount of money that insurance does not cover. You might as well expect someone to come up with the cost of 2 or 3 cars cash upfront. Some places you have to be a certain age. Both partners have to agree and they don't always want the same things. There would be a LOT more children with homes if it wasn't so darn hard and expensive to adopt.
KasiAda 3 years ago
I'd be a bit more careful if I were you before bludgeoning someone like this. If our options do close, then of course we will consider adoption. However, there is nothing simple about that process and it will take years. As for the narcissistic desire to have a child of our own, if you have a magic solution to deprogramming millions of years of evolutionary incentive to procreate, I'd love to hear it.
AtlasDemolition 3 years ago
As a note, I mistakenly logged in as AtlasDemolition. That response was mine.
Caliban018 3 years ago
Have YOU adopted any children? If not, don't lecture other people about it and calling them "narcissists". Do you even know how difficult it is to adopt? I know a couple who has spent 3 years waiting on an adoption list and spent $35,000 and still do not have their child.
Yep, I'm pretty sure you never adopted any of those needy children you talk about, because if you had, you'd know damn well how hard adoption is and how long it can take.
vanillapie 3 years ago
damn i am confused very much dont know what to do surgery or not help please??
alleyezonme40 3 years ago
I'm so sorry... my husband and i have been struggling for a bout a year almost with trying to get pregnant, and I hope and pray I will never find out I'm infertile ever!!
I am glad that you are choosing to see the positive from this situation.
I'm so sad for you... I want to cry...
AngelWings3 3 years ago
Our road is longer than we might like, but hopefully it will end well. I hope that your own journey leads you to a child soon. One word of advice, do not let fears of a diagnosis of infertility keep you from getting examined. Medicine has come a long way in a very short while and there is much that can be done to help infertile couples.
Caliban018 3 years ago
Thanx. I'd rather know asap, than find out later you know? My doctor and I are presently trying to figure out if I'm even ovulating by doing a 3 month temperature log, and other things as well. So far my temps are CRAZY compared to normals lol. Oh wells.
AngelWings3 3 years ago
I completely feel your pain. It hurts watching so many take for granted the one thing you would give anything to have. No matter how much you have to be grateful for, nothing can take the place of a much wanted child.
EdnCy 4 years ago 2
I wish I knew how to convey this to all those parents who seem to see their children as a burden rather than a blessing.
Caliban018 4 years ago
I agree with you all here.
AngelWings3 3 years ago
Dude, there many of us out there. Take heart, you're not alone in this struggle.
CanadianMedic074 4 years ago
Thank you. I hear that there are more and more of us every year. This frightens me. I hope that we are not the first wave of a growing community that cannot continue themselves into future generations. I hope that this becomes a priority for the medical profession.
Caliban018 4 years ago
Thank you so much for sharing. I am in the same boat.
krams1120 4 years ago
Stay strong. I know adoption is not what you might have envisioned but I'm sure you'd make a great father to some unfortunate child.
gt0520b 4 years ago
Thank you. If that becomes the only option, of course we will explore it. I want to be able make a home for a child, and I want my wife to have the opportunity to be a mother. However, as I noted in a later video, I may have some options that I didn't realize were available. I'm having surgery in a few days and then we'll see.
Caliban018 4 years ago
Damnit, can't post urls. InfertilityFilmFestival dot blogspot dot com.
beabeaonblogger 4 years ago
Listen, if you're interested - otherwise ignore me - I'm running the International Infertility Film Festival for those who want to make short films/videos about their experiences. We had some great entries last time, but you really come through the screen there somehow, so it would be great if you did put something together. This time we have a theme - "Seasons" (can be interpreted as loosely as you like).
Bea
beabeaonblogger 4 years ago
This sounds fantastic and I'm honoured that you would ask. I will have a look at the site this evening and give this some serious thought. Tentatively, I would very much like to participate, but I'll make that commitment as soon as I have a look at what is involved. Thanks.
Caliban018 4 years ago
I think you would be able to participate easily. You can make something new, or edit some of your present footage. (I see snow... I'm sure there's a connection to be made...) Or both - a couple of people entered twice last time. Anyway - have a look and see what you think. If you'd like to participate, leave a comment at the site.
Bea
beabeaonblogger 4 years ago
Oh. Wow. I'm so glad I saw the "options" entry first, this was heartbreaking enough. Uh.
(cont'd...)
beabeaonblogger 4 years ago
I can relate too. Been trying for 3 years now. I can say that the pain does become bearable at some point, but yes, it is one of the most painful human experiences. It's the potential death of a dream, purpose, and meaning in life. Even though society doesn't acknowledge it, the loss is very real and needs to be grieved. I hope the best for you and encourage you to take one day at a time.
TraviPsych 4 years ago
Thank you. I really appreciate you sharing this with me. I think one of the hardest things is the sense of isolation. So few people are willing to talk about it or they brush it aside in a gust of machismo.
Caliban018 4 years ago
I am very sorry. Your pain is felt.
monicavm 4 years ago
Thank you very much. I greatly appreciate it.
Caliban018 4 years ago
*hugs*
I totally can relate.
dabogirl 4 years ago
I'm sorry to hear that, but thank you so much for your comment. I hope all is well with you.
Caliban018 4 years ago
...I am still not sure about that. I will keep an eye on your blog here.
dabogirl 4 years ago
Thank you and be well. May we all find health and wholeness in our future.
Caliban018 4 years ago