The Chronicles of Chris-chan: Is it August 31 already?

[MrRowan13]

screen is so bright I cant see the dude, LOL

[Toonike94]

His hobby is, Mountain Dew? XD

[DarkStarboye]

Seriously, How the FUCK did I know he was going to say Minecraft?

[stelkin656]

GURPS: Generic Universal Role Playing System. It took me less than a minute to find that out on google, but Chris didn't know?

He's really that stupid/lazy to look up a word/term he doesn't know what means, on the internet, despite he uses it all the time? Geez!

[psychowarrior]

"What an ugly sonuvabitch"

Pot. Kettle.

[Silverknight171]

Jeremy Slonwhite seems badass

[Udany147]

"very atheists against me and my ways"

wut

[Iohelle]

@Udany147 It has been known for quite a while that big-CWC has a god complex

[TheSilentWyvern]

@videogamenostalgia I am an avid Mountain Dew hobbiest.

[videogamenostalgia]

I love how 'Mountain Dew' is an INTEREST. Who the fuck lists Mountain Dew as an interest?

[Zombifique]

Chris is a retarted bag of lard. That photo is of a meme. -__-; ...

[ToothpickMcBrainy]

>obvious image of stereotypical neckbeard used on the internet millions of times for years

>Chris accepts it at face value

God DAMN that boy ain't right. It takes what, 5 seconds to use TinEye or Google Image search?

[SackTapMedia]

is it me or do you guys think the people he attempts to extort just dont give three fucks, about his threats.

[geckorus10]

Here were the moron's demands:

Put up a billboard in New York City saying that Chris is straight

Delete all of his pages from the CWCki

Pay 1000 dollars.

We can have him reported to police for all this.

[JohnMooreification]

0:38 I-isn't that Khal Drogo?

"You shall have a medallion of Crayola fuckin' Model Magic, that men shall tremble to behold."

[Coverfire14]

@JohnMooreification Now we just need to boil some model magic and dump it on his head as a crown.

[DarthOnizuca]

Yeah Chris, because being an athiest is SOOO much worse than being a small minded christian, like yourself. Pretty sure your book says something about love and acceptance though it has been a while since I read it so maybe they abridged it and all that got lost in translation

[PurpleStorm8]

Chris doesn't even look like a dude anymore, he looks more like a little old granny.

[BlackRaven117]

Oh, and, Atheism FTW.

[BlackRaven117]

...He is telling us to troll somebody who is a Canadian Elder Scrolls fan who Works at Gamestop in Vancouver, Yet he has NO FUCKING CLUE what GURPS is.

[SlowRiotNewKanada]

"very atheist against me".

Chris is now comparing himself to God. As the last video demonstrated, at the very least he is considering himself Christ-like.

What a fucking piece of shit.

[EponymousKid]

@SlowRiotNewKanada Chris has indirectly likened himself to God a couple of times before, actually. He demanded praise in exchange for his blessings in the "R-E-S-T-E-D-C" video, for instance.

[RandomFilmsUK]

holy shit the troll doesnt have a face!!

[Lightyagami121]

the funniest thing is that even if his "info" was accurate....so what? its not like anyone cares who they are ahahahah all we care about is chris making an ass of himself (which he is exceeding my expectations)

[Anonymous1373]

...did he just order us to troll someone?



[ResidentVarmint]

Someone else besides me who likes GURPS?

Shit sounds legit.

[Goku95x]

The Game.... of Thrones.

[CTR8008]

The ironic thing is that he's trying to get back at the trolls but he's still getting trolled doing it...so basically he's getting trolled to troll.

[DoctorLazers]

Is it just me or are Thorg's interests fucking awesome!

[dethtreex]

@DoctorLazers

It's not just you.

[DoctorLazers]

Is that first image Jason Momoa as Khal Drogo?

[SonicPsycho]

Does anyone know where Chris is getting his "info" on trolls?

[Protagonist]

He's absolutely incapable of thinking anything he is doing is false or wrong. Its why he wont listen to criticism and why he is ignoring us all. He believes that guy is one of his trolls, therefore he is and always will be, regardless of the truth.

It must be sad to live like that, you can see why he is living with his parents. With out any ability to think critically he would be taken advantage of endlessly. What has happened online will be nothing compared to what could happen IRL.

[GPMsMotokoLover]

Wonder why the Ruckersville Police Dept. hasn't officially arrested Chris yet. All these videos he made over the years would be admissible as evidence, along with a lot of other documents, to commit him. He's a danger to himself and others.

[Algahiem]

Here' a question for anyone interested:

Who do you think is more disturbing? Richard Kuda the Manbaby or Chris Chan the Tomgirl?

[CrazyTamama0]

@Algahiem While Chris Chan the tomgirl is pretty amusing, Richard Kuda the manbaby is just too depressing to think about, and it's too hard to over it. It seems that while Chris Chan doesn't want to grow up, Richard Kuda can't grow up. Chris Chan can take this as a compliment, because it's the closest to a compliment he's going to get from me.

[crazychristyler714]

so much irony @_@

[some14u2no]

It just pisses me off. That Chris doesn't know when to quit or give up. He is so stupid and naive it just sickens me. Like nothing hits him or he doesn't realise that everyone hates him. FOR CHRISTS SAKE HE JUST DRESSED IN DRAG AND HE JUST COMMANDED US TO TROLL SOMEONE!!! I just want realality to hit him so hard he dies... But fuck..... Who am I to kid? I would miss the easy laughs of this sick demented individual.

[OminousLatinUsername]

Those glasses clash so badly with your new style.

[ShadowIncarnate6]

Chris is the kind of guy that would take hostages, then kill the hostages even if he got the ransom money.

[Dante2090]

Well... the trolling persona makes sense I guess.

[frantheman180]

look up" the Butthurt Dweller" on know our meme dot com and laugh at Chris's "detective work"

[Chaos9000000]

Ub3r stalker mode ACTIVATE!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!

[FiveofHearts1]

So, assuming those docs are real (they're not, by the way), we can gather that Jeremy is probably a mostly likable nerd who at least has enough social life to LARP, and doesn't upload videos to the internet of fucking blow up dolls, drinking semen, or digging up his dog's corpse to use as a shawl....

[Snoofalah]

@FiveofHearts1 I didn't know he dug up his dog, where is that?

[FiveofHearts1]

@Snoofalah watch?v=71DTSyvLvto&feature=re­lated He doesn't actually dig up his dog, he just acts it out with a resale shop jacket and lice infested wig. He also makes at least 2 references to Silence of the Lambs, which is especially disturbing, coming from Chris.

[Snoofalah]

@FiveofHearts1 Oh, that. I've seen that before, but I didn't realize it was supposed to be his dog. I hope someone is able to make him really do that at some point.

[Irrelevant402]

Aah! What happened to the one where he threatens Thaddeus?

[SoreThumbsBill]

His name is Cee Dap Cee

and he is proud to be

The pwner of all

dang dirty trolls.

HA HA Hmmm Yeah!

[EponymousKid]

One last thing about Chris: he's like a naturally occurring clown.

[EponymousKid]

I really don't get why Chris is so stuck on the atheist thing. There's nothing wrong with being an atheist as long as you're not an asshole about it. He sounds like an alright guy, based on his interests.

Chris, on the other hand, is an asshole about being a Christian, a transvestite, autistic, and a virgin. And he's really terrible at those first two, incidentally.

Also: "Whatever the Hell they are." Chris has never heard of Star Wars or Star Trek or Mountain Dew?

[videogamenostalgia]

@EponymousKid 'Whatever the hell they are' refers to GURPS

[PilotWork]

@EponymousKid I think "Whatever the Hell they are" was referring to GURPS, the role-playing system. But I wouldn't put it past him...

[Coverfire14]

@EponymousKid I really don't think he even knows what the word "atheist" means, but I'm sure someone has tried to explain it to him, and I'm sure he has ignored them or even gotten angry at them because he hates logic and reason.

[TurkeyTuck]

@EponymousKid

He was talking about the GURPS, dumb ass.

[lpgurlnj]

@EponymousKid Agreed!! As long as you don't push your beliefs on people or act like an asshole, you're entitled to your own beliefs. Chris-Chan, claiming he's a Christian is going about it the wrong way. Christians are supposed to accept everyone for who they are. He's against gays, Asperger's Syndrome, transvestites yet here he is dressing up like a woman. SMH.

[EponymousKid]

It's official; Chris is more delusional than ever.

How many times has he implored his personal army to harass other people? This is like the sixth or seventh time, seriously.

That's ignoring the fact that the picture is fake, and I bet some of that information is as well. Where did Chris even get this info? Certainly not independent investigation -- someone must have sent it to him. But he's acting like he's the world's greatest detective.

[CenturionRyan]

oh god is he wearing a dress what the fuuuuuuuuuck

[LazyCrazyClown]

Even if that was real, I wouldn't troll him, I'd wire a few hundred dollars to that master of trolling!

[Yourebuying]

Is Chris not aware that wrath is a sin?

[angrybull]

@Yourebuying Chris doesn't know shit about the bible unless he heard about it on Family Guy. 

[InuSama95]

lol at Uglybitchwouldn'tdate dot JPG guy.

[RacinZilla007]

Dude, this is violation of personal identity, CWC could be arrested for this

[ozsem]

OMG ITS PENN FROM PENN AND TELLER!!!!!

[DukeNukem2020]

It won't be a chris chan video without him acting like a retard

[hpufo]

@DukeNukem2020 Acting?

[DukeNukem2020]

@hpufo making those stupid noises like the "Chopping" sound effect. lmao. "PEW!"

[harknessemulator]

he looks like an "it's a trap!" pic that'd be shared with people who have fetishes for the elderly and the overweight

[ThePeaceyP]

Snorlax V.2

[drogothlord]

just when I thought Chris couldn't get any stupider........

[CaptainOlimar247]

Why should anyone feel intimidated by a man who wears a bra?

[hpufo]

Why does this fag think he has his own personal army?

[angrybull]

@hpufo Don't most internet lolcows think they have their own personal armies?

[HillDueceua]

lol this blackmail video business reminds me of the Blackmail game show sketch from Monty Python "and now a letter, a hotel registration book and a series of photographs which could add up to divorce, premature retirement and possible criminal proceedings for a company director in Bromsgrove." XD

[MalchikBlue]

You know, I think Chris might be retarded.

[Jegudiel29ZX]

@MalchikBlue He IS retarded.

[Andjealous]

Language and the way we use or misuse it betrays much about how we actually think. The fact that Chris uses Atheist as a standard pejorative just like idiot,moron,etc. says all too much about how ignorant he is. Of course we all knew this but his continued failure and the depths to which they go remain as entertaining as ever. Let's all welcome Chris home.

[EndlessAwesomness]

New Pedo Glasses!

[CrimsomS]

"...Is, uh very atheist against me and my ways" There goes that God complex again.

[mahorosan1]

as an atheist, i find you offensive. perhaps a spike was not good enough for you? how about a pitchfork up your ass?

[DubstepWubWubWub]

Seems like a pretty chill guy to me.

[jeanismohamed]

youre a fag

[angrybull]

Manchild Begone! 

[LaughJester9000]

"What an ugly son-of-a-bitch."

Says the Tomgirl asspie who drinks his own semen.

[sketchmaster4]

@LaughJester9000 and lets not forget he wears "muscle bras" XD

[Athils]

Was Chris actually put on a Times Square billboard, or did they just trick him with photoshop again?

[PilotWork]

@Athils There was a promotion where you could send in a photo and a caption, and they did so with Chris's photos and added captions. One of the photos was shopped, though.

[Athils]

@PilotWork Okay. It was kinda standing right on the edge of plausibility. Thanks!

[PilotWork]

@Athils The photos are on the CWCki under "20 December 2009," at the bottom of the page, for the actual photos.

[gofusiesbass09]

Wow this troll guy is a LOSERRRRRRR

[CaptainOlimar247]

Ha, his video got taken down for hate speech.

[DerMorphy]

"An ugly son of a bitch" Yeah because you're soooo handsome. Look who's talking. The only good thing in this video is the picture of the hotness that is Khal Drogo. :D

[Soooooooooooonicable]

lol Gordo Granudo

[ilackedtheheart]

Bottle of Jack = navy

[VikingBoyBilly]

"playing atheist"?

[brutusmuerto]

"ugly sonovabitch" ...says the 30 year old tranny who looks like Dame Edna in her 60s.

[BlitzWhat]

Jeremy Slonwhite is an anagram of Whine Jeer Mostly.

Somewhat fitting.

[TheDrunkenwhale]

I'm willing to bet, that if he's getting this information and these pictures from the Tomboys and Tomgirls of Virgina, then either some of Chris-chan's famous trolls infiltrated the forum (or created it.) to get close to him or they were a bunch of people who found out who he is after seeing the Cwcki and wanted to have some fun with him. I'm leaning more on the former than the latter.

Either way, this is fucking funny.

[KarlNoten]

@TheDrunkenwhale They are hosting the god damn thing. Chris has been stuck in the same Miscreants-loop for years. He's still talking to the same people: Clyde Cash, Arjen Van Dierten, Blanca, Emily, Bryan Bash, Jack Thaddeus, Liquid Chris, Lordsillynipples, Man in the Pickle Suit, Officer Nasty, Kimmi, PandaHalo, Sarah May, Scampers Chandler, Vivian Gee, Yawning Squirtle and Bluespike. No matter what they call themselves, its always the same group.

[TheDrunkenwhale]

@KarlNoten Okay geez man.

[GPMsMotokoLover]

@KarlNoten So just what exactly did Chris do to these people IRL to cyberbully him like this, tied them up and forced them to watch him rape their pets and/or family members? Damage their credit rating? Just seems like so much hate is geared toward him from this group of people you listed. Seems like childish High School level stuff to me, much like Chris's mentality.

Oh and you forgot to add Kacey to your list.

[KarlNoten]

@GPMsMotokoLover All the want is some sort of fame, it's why they are namefags. True anonymous hits on somebody once and calls it a day, without using nicks. The Miscreants called themselves the FCTC before when Blanca took the medallion but they got too much hate for it. They go back that far with Chrissy. Maybe they're secretly in love with him?

[stsaylor29]

jeremy's spoken.....yes he did...who who who ah ha ha ah ha ha

[J4pseye]

WTF Chris, the alleged picture of Jeremy Sloanwhite is a famous Internet meme.

What a damn fail...

[TheSkunkCat]

@J4pseye

It's like the Clyde Cash photo obviously. (For those who didn't figure that out from day 1)

[PirateLordRogan]

@J4pseye SHH! HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT YET!

[CheifMcCloud]

@J4pseye

Which meme is this?

[CheifMcCloud]

@CheifMcCloud I found it

its the Butthurt Dweller

[CheifMcCloud]

Respond to this video... 

Chris, you done been trolled again boyo! Where is your God now?

[trevizo25]

@J4pseye what meme is that? lol XD sorry.

[J4pseye]

@trevizo25

It's the "Butthurt Dweller" meme

[albee1000]

Mm-kay. Now, Chris, how precisely is this going to keep you from being trolled again?

[DivisionOtaku]

Chris, you are really complaining about this guy looking ugly? Considering you are a fat retard with bowel disfunction, you have no right to say that you fatass motherfucker

[Oavatos]

Chris, You're retarded. Nerdy boys are fucking gorgeous. I'd hop Jeremy's bone in a minute. You're a really REALLY bad tranny, so you have no room to talk.

[fuckxbox1]

i wonder how many people actually do wut he says?

[Jesterclown17]

Blackmail. Another thing he fails at.

[Gg66dolphin]

Thorg has a job. Chris doesn't Chris has no right to make fun of him because of this one fact

[dccmpbll]

Expose those heathens, Chris! Deus lo vult!

[Scalchop]

Maybe I'm missing something but... is anyone beside me curious to how he's getting this information? And how he's so certain of its validity?

[albee1000]

@Scalchop I'm sure his information is totally valid. I'm also sure that Julie was a 19-year-old woman.

[ChaosKnightXD]

It doesn't even matter who Thorg is because he's still 1000x times better of a person than Chris. Even the lowest form of life is better than Chris.

[Mrguy891]

@ChaosKnightXD "Even the lowest form of life is better than Chris" apparently your logic says Chris is better than Chris..lol

[howiloggedin]

"Real life" picture

HA HA HA, oh man. Chris, srsly

[JKDissection]

Oh Chris, just when I thought the lol-teat of this lolcow was dry, you always manage to prove me wrong.

[DieFlammenwerfer]

Does Chris realize that you usually have to do something stupid/embarrassing online for an individual to be trolled? In fact, just to troll Chris for this, people are probably going to send Thorg money.

[Lastpatriot]

I'm curious as to how Thorg/Jeremy led Chris on in believing that he BACKTRACED Thorg's dox.

Or maybe Thorg actually IS the Butthurt Dweller and Chris has enlisted the cyber-police. I'm doubting that one, though.

[NewEraOutlaw]

So what makes you think anybody is going to troll him, Chris? Because you said so?

[skipolas]

Jeremy Slonwhite of Vancouver, BC Canada sounds like a cool guy. I'd play Dungeons and Dragons with him any day of the week

[Kozoi]

He rages at people trolling him and attempts to reveal their personal information which shows that he is morally against trolling, but then he encourages trolling when he isn't on the receiving end. Hypocracy much? Chris never fails to amaze me.

[Burnft]

Oh my good god, cwc calling someone an ugly son of a bitch... fucking rich

[NyxFTW]

/youtube/ is not your personal army, Chris.

[sexhaie]

chris obviously hasn't heard of the butthurt dweller, and is unaware of the fact he fits the meme.

[hookedonranranruu]

The pictures Chris shows are those pictures of that "Butthurt Dweller" fella from Norway... I can't believe only one other person noticed....

[samuraikarasu]

@hookedonranranruu Plenty of people noticed. They tried to tell Chris because they're even more retarded than he is.

[Shadoboy]

"Trolling" Chris keeps using that word. I don't think it means what he thinks it means.

And nice new glasses, Chris. You look just like Mama Snorlax.

[AxelDemyxFanGirl]

HE LOOKS LIKE JESUS.

[sano2000]

Thorg picture is a well known meme. Chris fails on so many levels.

[BigJuicyx3]

"He's being atheist against me"

Does Chris even know what atheist means?

[Irrelevant402]

I wonder if he will get the 'identity' of the Pickle Man sometime?

[ConstantineDaniels]

CWC reminds me of a low budget Bond villain whose mentally retarded.

[Oreichalcos]

@ConstantineDaniels I want a Bond villain exactly like CWC. After years of leeching welfare, his parents sue some corporation into the ground and he gains millions of dollars. Then he starts paying assassins to kill people who mess with him on the Internet. To stop this menace, MI6 must troll him with millions of messages signed by James Bond, manager at Wal-Mart.

[ujustgotpwned2008]

@ConstantineDaniels Some of the early TV series Batman villains were a bit like him.

He would be "The Toymaster" or something.

[ConstantineDaniels]

@ujustgotpwned2008 That would most be eggcelent! 

[TheJackwagon94]

@ConstantineDaniels Not to mention rather chubby and a pedofork.

[Gxyz222]

Jeremy Slonwhite:" At least I still got hair on top of my head, you cross dressing, sperm eating, unemployed, never gettin any, loser! LMAO!".

[Rautakello]

Well guys, we better get on that trolling now.

[FreedumFries591]

Doesn't Chris look a lot like his mom when he puts on his glasses?



[KTP200]

the best part is that thorg really IS ugly

[shimsham35]

I don't really understand how releasing a picture really affects anything.

[CTR8008]

I was looking at the background in this video and thought too myself how fucking disgusting it must be living in that environment, most likely there's roaches in every corner and rats just multiplying day by day. His immune system is probably the only thing not affected from this catastrophe of a house from him being so used to laying in rat shit.

[YouPeopleAreHorrible]

The next troll is Jack Thaddeus. Obvs!

[GPMsMotokoLover]

@YouPeopleAreHorrible Well, Jack better flee to the country he has "dual citizenship" with (more than likely it's Israel since he has Zionist Jew written all over him) while he still can.

[kommyhctn4ecko69]

Khal Drogo!!!!

[Wh3nYour3Strang3]

Wait, so basically he's releasing this earlier because he's been stewing over the fact that Thorg is an atheist?

[Goombowser]

LARPLARPLARPLARPLARP

[mythrilmecha]

I GOTTA GLOMP JEREMY SOMETIME!!! ^^

[PrancingCornmuffins]

Chris is certainly an insult to Christians.

[DoctorBeardface]

He's gonna go bitch his jeans with a bottle o jack?

[AGenericVillain]

The original movie was apparently removed. Wow.

[TheAkashdeepJabandar]

Whoever got the original video removed because of "hate speech" are a bunch of pitifully BORING, retarded faggots who're WORSE than Chris. Why can't we all just relax and enjoy the free entertainment?

[mordredt02]

@TheAkashdeepJabandar What makes you think a homosexual did it? Sounds like something Chris would say, except he'd replace "faggot" with "homo".

[Popanator2010]

Chris is a retard. So, what Jeremy is overweight. So is Chris. At least he is gainfully employed and taking care of himself. He is also a funny troll. If I was in BC, I would go to Game Stop and get trolling tips from him and give gifts. :)

[Olorune]

So is he serious or is he just trolling? I don't get it.

[edam88]

@Olorune of course he's trolling. it's been conformed for a while now that chris is only a troll. but it's still fun to play along.

[Seventhstorm55]

Quick, everybody send Jeremy gifts!

[stsaylor29]

i am a hater, but i love this one, and the tank tops are hilarious, lol, but take those damn gages out before you get granny ears, 3/5 flags samantha still gets 5/5 flags!

[MidwayWuzzupman]

hey look it's the same picture used for the lifeless neckbeard....