Added: 2 years ago
From: TurpisHaereticus
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  • Forgive me (sniffle) ha he's sweating like a hooker in church from that booger sugar!

  • The sniper rifle thing had me laughing. I had to reply it several times.

  • Comedians like this suck, all they do is whine and puke there beliefs and bash religion and blah blah blah..thats not comedy, guys like this suck

  • @heavyhitter242424

    comedians like you are hilarious!

  • @heavyhitter242424 then forgive him ...

  • @swissaunty im not religious, but iw ant to laugh not listen to a boring fucking seminar

  • @heavyhitter242424 You are whining that comedians whine to much?

    That is fucking rich......

  • @LastCynicStanding You didnt like my comment, so you replied to what i said..Does that mean your whining about my comment? dont think too much into things you might hurt yourself

  • @heavyhitter242424 I did not say whether I like it or not fella. I was just telling you the facts and like every internet troll crybaby you accused me of whining.... while whining.

  • @LastCynicStanding Im going to go ahead and chalk this one up as a win for myself...Better luck next time

  • @heavyhitter242424 I am sure you do this every time someone says something you can not understand.

  • @LastCynicStanding has anyone ever told you that you were a weight lifters dream

  • @heavyhitter242424 No why? Are you competing for the 'dumbest thing anyone has said to me award' ?

    You were almost there when you whined about whining but by all means do try to top your own moronic feats.

  • @LastCynicStanding  cause your a fucking dumbell

  • @heavyhitter242424

    OK... I might have laughed at that a bit.

  • JESUS

  • this guy is my idol! (i'm 12 btw) 

  • I would think that if Jesus came back he would be packing a nailgun.

  • I am a chair and this video is offensive .

  • I'm a catholic and I fucking love this guy.

  • haha

    -I don't believe in God.

  • This guy looks incredibly much like my maths teacher. Even the personality matches.

  • I bring not peace but a sword

  • back and to the left...

  • just thinkin of John..we loved him..i almost cried laughing....r.i.p.

  • I am Christian and found this halarious.

  • @misspinkpunkykat hmm.. you are christian? so?

    it's like you are trying to make a statement: "my faith is so strong that this video doesn't menaces my beliefs". I got news for you, by saying that, you are pretty much saying to the world how weak is what you believe then.. and how mediocre also. Have you any idea how many "i am christian and i find this.." comments? :P

    If you really believe, you didn't have to prove it for anyone.. starting with yourself :T

    Have some dignity

  • @cxmb Yes, I am Christian, but I actualy find this clip very funny. I was trying to be funny with the "Chuck Testa" comment, but I think that meme might be dead.

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  • 3:31 He should've gone one further and pretended to reload it

  • As if a second revision of the word of God is even remotely sensible same God who will bring plagues upon earth n his beloved children whom dare not eat fruit from tree of knowledge. Then after torturing Eve n Adams children for several 1000 years he sends his son himself to right the wrongs stand noble n be crucified worthy of God's love. This God he's a child abusing serial killer u follow at your own peril good luck

  • Whom wrote the Bible? Whom edited the Bible? Whom deciphered, translates and of course read the Bible? And what purpose why. Not an atheist just a theist who knows not much but can see bullshit when its a steaming pile of turds n a bull stands menacingly nearby.

  • *R.I.P. George Carlin

  • @jessydaytime Speaking of which, have you noticed that people who are against abortions are people you wouldn't wanna fuck in the first place? R.I.P.

  • fundamental Christians watch more porn then regular ppl, but that is ok because nobody is watching ohh wait god is watching.

  • What show is this from?!?

  • What an idiot..

  • @cathrasher1974 Proof?

  • HEY BUDDY, COMEER

  • There is, its called Song of Solomon.

  • CHRISTIANS (most of them): ignorant cocksuckers who will shove their opinion down your throat with no mercy, they lack in knowledge of science

    ATHEISTS (most of them): ignorant argumentative fucks who have nothing better to do than pick fights with Christians, instead of finding something productive to do with their life

  • @shane71998 I agree 1000% with your comment.

  • @shane71998 - Explain how atheists are ignorant. And if by "argumentative", you mean they're opposing people using their beliefs in order to change their lives and everything around them, then I agree. And "picking fights" (smart people say, "debate") with Christians is simply a hobby, not a lifestyle, because it's interesting to hear the things that come out of their mouths. Don't knock it until you try it.

  • @shane71998 For someone that claims both the former and the latter being "ignorant" you would surely know that the opposite of Atheism is Theism and not Christianity... right?

    Ok, and then you claim we Atheists need to be more productive? While religious people are getting away with rape, murder, hate crimes, general hatred, and holding back the human race. I think if nothing else, just standing up and being heard is more than productive enough. It's our free time, anyway. Minute out of my day

  • @shane71998 You seem to be pretty angry/argumentative and profoundly ignorant about "most of them" people you so happily deride.

  • @shane71998 How very odd, I've always considered that your definitions, all though I hesitate to refer to that offensive trash as such, only apply to a small minority of each group.

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  • Is there anyone else who thinks Bill looks like a young Jonathan Winters here?

  • @MrsTaySwiftFan13 TRUE CHRISTIAN BEHAVIOUR THERE, GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK. YA CUNT

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  • I gave that bitch some myrrh, bitches love myrrh.

  • lol!!!!!!!!!

  • Uzi's were made in Israel.

  • I believe in God, just not the part where I have to drop everything, empty my wallet and listen to the words of someone who mostly thinks they heard him, thus these people cause mass murder cause of their religious complexity, the twisting of the simple word of God.

  • IN JESUS NAME!!!

  • The lamentably late Bill Hicks---gotta love him!

  • lmao

  • being an atheist and a theist has nothing to do with your iq, its just that there are super ignorant kinds of both

  • @shane71998

    people that really believe in a superstition cannot be intelligent, because ALL evidence points to no god. most christians don't actually believe in god. they believe in believing in god. ie the like the society that christian power sustains.

  • @scandapoodle lol that would be good if it were true. NO evidence points to either side of the argument. You could be right...after all, everyone knew that ALL evidence pointed to the sun revolving around the earth...just like ALL evidence pointed to the jews being a plague...and just like ALL evidence pointed to midwives who used herbal remedies being witches...

  • @lukydawg777

    No evidence pointed to the Sun revolving around the Earth. People just went with their intuition and self love told them they were special (and at the center of the universe).

    the christian view of reality is just wishful thinking. "there is an god that looks after me and when I die my soul will join him in his bronze age phantasy kingdom in the skies"

    You are not special and all evidence (neurology proves that there is no soul). So when you die it is over for you.

  • @scandapoodle Feel better? All you've accomplished is spilling a high school level of typos into a comment (which is nearly impossible to do with spell check). There isn't any logic in any part of your argument. I understand that it seems illogical to some to believe in some sort of deity, but is it not even less logical to insult a group of peoples' beliefs without being able to make an argument better than "its wishful thinking"? Your neurology comment actually made me laugh btw.

  • @lukydawg777

    attacking typos is the only weapon you have left? you seemed to have understood my comment so why bother? english is not my first language either, how many languages do you speak? also i do not bother with spell checks on youtube.

    on neurology, explain what happens to someone with a brain injury/alzheimers etc when his/her extoplasma (or whatever you believe in) goes to you daddy in heaven. are they still mentally handicapped sitting there next to Jesus?

  • @scandapoodle Extoplasma? Do you mean Ectoplasm which isn't even related to a branch of christianity? And notice you didn't even give an answer you just asked more passive aggressive questions without meaning. And as for neurology, I really dont give a damn what happens and never claimed to. I'm pretty sure my whole point has been that noone can prove anything for a fact. Swing and a miss. I realize I've been wasting my time trying to have a conversation with someone who can't keep up.

  • @lukydawg777

    ffs this is not english class! Of course i meant ectoplasm. why are you so fucking anal about spelling and shit? and I said "whatever you believe in" that includes ectoplasm OR NOT...

    I agree lets stop the shit storm aside and put all other stuff aside and return to your main argument that God could exist. There is basically as much evidence or even a reasonable argument for the Christian god as there is for any other god= NONE. Religion in itself i unreasonable.

  • @shane71998

    Quite true.

  • @shane71998 Suck my ignorant atheist balls you bitch.

  • @shane71998 Wrong. Studies have shown that among people with higher IQ/people with high academic studies atheism is significantly more dominant compared to people with low education/low IQ. In other words, smart people tend to be atheists.

  • @shane71998

    the intelligensia is represented mainly be non believers. this has been proven in many studies.

    "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful".

    Edward Gibbon

  • @shane71998 That's a little disingenuous, no? Of course there are ignorant people in all walks of life, but most intelligent people are atheists, and certainly there are very few truly intelligent theists in the 21st century, at any rate. The bottom line is that intellectual honesty will untimely decide whether or not one chooses to believe in God, something that requires a certain degree of intelligence and humility to possess. Do you disagree?

  • @shane71998 I think your looking at it the wrong way. People who are smart tend to believe less bullshit. Most people believe something stupid whether it's religion or 9/11 conspiracies. It's just that intelligence makes it harder to be fervently retarded.

  • @shane71998 Actually intelligence has a high correlation with atheism, especially in religious countries like the USA. Yes, "there are super ignorant kinds of both", but it appears intelligence leads to atheism, not the other way round.

  • @shane71998 Except that people who identify themselves as atheist tend to have a higher iq.

  • @AbstractUserName

    Not in my experience. In my experience, the good majority of the atheists I have encountered claimed that the Bible was a bull shit and I asked them "have you read the Bible?" Most of them said no, and every other has said "yeah, I have once." that's like judging the taste of cookies when you have never tasted one or have tasted one flavor and assume the rest taste terrible. That's not intelligence, that's a case of lying and hypocrisy.

  • @Fluffypopcicle You are lying. It has been demonstrated repeatedly (by religious polsters no less) that atheists tend to know more about the Bible and bible history than most Christians.

  • @branane

    I speak from personal experience, there is no such thing as me lying in this instance.

  • @branane

    Source, please.

    Besides, it's not really the point. Anybody can satisfy himself with knocking down the straw-man version of the opposition, something cobbled together from the worst kinds of oversimplification, the worst examples, the most ignorant advocates, etc., from the other side.

  • @emncaity . The research was performed by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life and reported by the Christian Science Monitor no less. These are the numbers. I'm an atheist and consistently dismayed by the average believer's lack of knowledge about the thing they so vehemently claim as the foundation of their lives. Why do I know more Bible history than the average Christian? Because I'm curious and find everything interesting.

  • @AbstractUserName

    Even though I am an atheist, I find that statement idiotic. You're just as bad as the religous people you point your stick at. Posting groundless facts which you cannot document.. Educate yourself.

  • @J4gm It isn't a "groundless fact;" before you become hypocritical and start throwing insults of your own, you should actually do research. The wikipedia page "Religiosity and intelligence" is a great place to start. There are 21 peer reviewed scholarly sources with information supporting what I said. Educate yourself.

    In case you didn't understand what I orgininally said: "people who identify themselves as atheist tend to have," synonymously stated, 'are correlated to', "a higher IQ".

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  • @AbstractUserName Who cares about the I.Q's of theists / atheists, what does this mean or prove?

    Religion based on faith, science based on observation of the real world. That's all we need to know.

  • @AbstractUserName You don´t have to have a high IQ to spot bullshit, it´s common sense.

  • @bicnarok I agree.

  • @bicnarok I agree

  • @AbstractUserName Please leave your thought out of dead people's heads. Hicks was not an atheist. Frankly atheism is much more stupid than fundamentalist Christianity.

    Sorry to bust your bubble but declaring yourself an atheist does not have any effect on your IQ. It only affects the ego that the TV has programmed to control your life.

  • @AbstractUserName Johannes Kepler - brilliant mathmatician and astromoner. Blaise Pascal - mathmatician, physicist, inventor etc. Issac Newton - mathmatician, mechanics, chemist, and brilliant man overall. Max Planck - known for his quantum theory, helped us understand atomic and sub atomic worlds. Albert Einstein - nuff said. The I Q of these men will echo through eternity. Your's on the other hand probably isn't above room temp.

  • @swamislocal1 Once the trite prose is cut away, your comment doesn't seem to have any purpose except to insult. I agree, I do not have an IQ near any of the people you listed, but you haven't done anything to disprove what I said. Refer to the wikipedia page "Religiosity and Intelligence" for peer reviewed articles supporting my position. Please stop referring to sub-atomic particles as "sub atomic worlds," it sounds stupid. The last sentence was amusing though, good work on that.

  • @AbstractUserName That is a fine point sir but If I may it also alod of cock sucking bullshit.

    Half of atheist have never actually explored the idea of "God"(not a christian one or organised religion's one) and it's takes a higher IQ than any atheist to go into the science of what "God could be" for example go to the googler machine and do some research on electrons That's right folk I use science to back up my ideas and thoughts

    prove me wrong :)

  • @TheAZUniversal you can't use science to back up thoughts of a "God" unless you're referring to the ancient astronaut theory. Which completely disregards anything coming from the bible... oh by the way I wonder what book has made more PROFIT than any other book in fucking history... hmmm

  • @TheAZUniversal It's your job to prove yourself right. That's how it works. You don't come out with some proposition that has no way of being verified and say "Prove me wrong." The first two conditions for a valid hypothesis are that it must be testable and that it must be falsifiable. So please don't go kissing yourself on the back for having a decent science head. You don't have the scientific rigor of Ronald McDonald.

  • @shane71998 look up 'Liberal Atheists scored higher on IQ tests' here on youtube

  • @shane71998 Political, religious and sexual behaviors may be reflections of intelligence, a new study finds.

    Evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa at the the London School of Economics and Political Science correlated data on these behaviors with IQ from a large national U.S. sample and found that, on average, people who identified as liberal and atheist had higher IQs. This applied also to sexual exclusivity in men, but not women.

  • This is not Bill Hicks, its George Carlin reincarnated with hair & glasses. Yes, that rotten devil has allowed Carlin out on day release as long as he still annoys Gods chosen people. Humbug Carlin's a typical atheist, because he'll say & do any thing to get himself out of a tight hot spot.

  • The atheists who comment here think they are smart well informed, but in fact they aren't.

  • @chris241289 theists are usually waaay less informed and intelligent

  • @themindbusterator Really, I want to remind you the fact that the egyptians who built the pyramids were all (poli)THEISTS. They could build something like that without any crane or heavy lifting machinary and you can't. And you say you are smarter than THEISTS? Einstein, Newton, Pasqual, and many others were very THEISTS and they actually mocked atheists at their very basics and logic. Even Darwin was a THEIST; he never stopped believing in God.

  • @chris241289 instead of not intelligent i should have said ignorant. That said, your argument has many holes. Einstein was an agnostic, he rejected, however, the idea of a personal god and of an afterlife. Darwin was a theist for a while but eventually renounced those ideas when confronted with all the things he learnt. Sure, newton was a theist... Continued...

  • @chris241289 anyhow what im talking about here are statistic values. You are talking about hundreds of years ago, when virtually every single person was religious, a number probably around 99% (though i dont have the statistics, of course). But look at present statistic values which ARE reliable for the most part, and you'll see that around 80% of the US population is theist. However when you look at the scientific community, only about 25% are.

  • @chris241289 By the way, i dont know why you assumend i wouldnt figure out how to build the pyramids given the resouces of the egyptians, you have no basis for that claim.

  • @themindbusterator Well you think you can do it? And about those statistics which say that only 25% of the scientists are believers I want you to know one thing. You can take those statistics and insert them straight inside your asshole because the theists do more than all atheists together just like Einstein said :" the only serios scientists are the ones who are deeply religious.".

  • @chris241289 lol getting frustrated? whats the matter do you feel cornered? you dont have to believe something in the face of all evidence to the contrary out of fear, theres no point. claustrophobes are scared of elevators, but it is an irrational fear, and if they got over it, it would be better for them.

  • @chris241289 To reinforce my statistic claims i suggest you look at the prevalence of religion across the world. The countries with statistically higher religiosity are also the most statistically poor and ignorant

  • @themindbusterator So unless you have any example of a brilliant atheist, back the fuck off!

  • @chris241289 ok im being misunderstood, i never meant to say that atheists have a higher iq than theists. All im saying is that their thoughts make more sense. they are either more educated or they just happened to analyze their beliefs. there are countless brilliant atheists as there are some theists, but non-agnostic theists, especially biblical creationists and similar others are deluded and arent being reasonable. they arent using their brains. not because they dont have one.

  • @themindbusterator End of discussion with you.

  • @chris241289 coward

  • @MrsTaySwiftFan13 Cause that exactly what Jezus would do right, "kick him in the rear till he's red"

  • dumb religious arguments. frankly religion has nothing to do with being funny. funny is funny no matter what the religion of the comedian.

  • @BatOtaku13 Have you noticed that the people who have no sense of humor are fundamentalists?

  • @jessydaytime Laughter is the poison of gods and other tyrants.

  • Similar as this joke. Family of sacrifices soldiers don't want to see American flag. They don't want to see it on top of coffin. Also, they don't want keep it too, don't they?

    Americans can have fake love, also they can take true love. That I means about symbol cross.

  • @MrWrongevolution I did not realized soldiers were being kill with the American flag!!! you a clown.

    By the way, we do not were IED necklaces

  • @cjmajr Do you know a reason enemies kill US soldiers ( even US citizens) because they are Americans as the flag is thier symbol. Now you can know who is clown.

  • @MrWrongevolution I do know, you are. The American flag is a symbol as the cross is, but the cross was used to torture and kill people, to kill your "savior," and know it is used as a symboln which is kind of weird as it was used to kill your "god." The American flag was never a tool of torture and murder but from its creation a symbol of a great nation, not perfect but great, and their lies the difference.

  • Do only christians like to kill in this world? Before christinality no war at all. Mayans are peaceful people. Do you know that many buddhist kings of Asia killed many,many christians. Lenin, Stalin killed millions of people in Serbia. Stalin killed 40 000 Boland officers. Ponpot killed 2 millions his own people in Cambot. It wasn't fair, If didn't claim those atheists.

  • @MrWrongevolution Wait, "Before christinality (sic) no war at all."? Have you ever READ the bible? Sheesh, your screen name is at least half-right.

  • @Logicmaster91 absolutely correct, my friend. hell, i don't even know wtf I believe anymore anyway though. Nobody can really *prove* anything about mankind's origins though. (cue slight subject change) Religion is a theory, gods are theory, the lack thereof is still theory...(my use of the word theory is loose, but i'm sure you know what i mean.) We have no scientific observations of "god," but hey, people will argue ad ignorantiam for hours on end about "him." anything wrong with this one?? ;)

  • I'm Christian and I think these jokes are funny. Why? because he's hit the nail on the head in all his statements. If the truth upsets you, maybe it's time to examine your faith.

  • Hey! buddy, we're Christians, and we don't like what you said. Well then, forgive me.

  • @MrsTaySwiftFan13 Yeah, because they believe stupid shit for no reason.

  • @MrsTaySwiftFan13 he dosnt need to make fun of these people..they do it themselves..fact

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  • @fingrid Dane Cook. What a moron. How dare you even mention or link to him.

  • @CogitoNM You are right. I fixed that. :)

  • @MrsTaySwiftFan13 You still believe in gods? ROLOL!!!

  • @MrsTaySwiftFan13 yes! praise the religion which is based on an old pile of fairytales. totally -___-

  • @Logicmaster91 Lol. Maybe. But it's better than a new pile of fairytales like Scientology XD

  • @PeachesAndSkeet well you're just comparing, you're not proving your belief to be true...yeea buddy XD

  • @MrsTaySwiftFan13 Where's the golden rule now?

  • I was raised Christian and now i see how religion is just a bullshit way to divide us but Im going to use this every time I piss off a christian. I believe we are all one like bill but I dont want to subscribe to a religion that gives me limits. I was raised with this shit I know what Im talking about.

  • This guy's not really my kind of humor. Sorry.

  • @GaolisVideoLog Awesome mate. No: "This guy's shit, I hope he dies!"

    Just a simple: "I watched it, it didn't work".

    Something that's not said often these days: You're what's right with the world.. Well done.

  • Nothing but doubting games... tiresome.

  • Jesus hung out with 12 guys and a prostitute.Seems my kinda guy

  • First time hearing of this guy. great.

  • I missed the last 10 seconds of the video because of the laugh tears in my eyes.

  • family guy stole the angry jesus joke

  • @jedf666

    Family guy steals Everything.

  • Good comedians have to reject religion because to be a good comedian, you can't be retarded.

  • @123BenThere hahah so true

  • @123BenThere how about jon stewart hes jewish and hes a good comedian

  • @Abbadon380 He considers himself, and I quote, "Jewish with a side of bacon", so...ya